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Oh Me, Oh Pai Pregnancy Waiting II

Tiago’s Second British Father’s Day (7 Weeks? / 20th June 2021)

Tiago sat on a beanbag with B on his lap. He is looking down at her, while her face has been covered with duplicates of Tiago's thumb.
Tiago’s Second British Father’s Day (7 Weeks? / 20th June 2021)
 
#IAskedTiagoAboutHowHeFeelsAboutBeingADadTheseDaysAndHeJustSaidGood
#AfterSomeMoreDiggingHeSaidThatHeNowUnderstandsHisPlaceInTheWorldAsAHumanMore
#IGuessBWillNotBeAsStillForTheShootAsSheWasAYearAgo
#SheWasBarelyAWeekOldWhenItWasTiagosFirstFathersDay
#NowSheIsJustOnTheMoveSoMuchAndSheIsStartingToTakeMultipleSteps
#TheOtherDaySheDidAboutSixAsSheConcentratedOnMyPhoneAsIMovedIt
#YesterdaySheWalkedFromTheKitchenIntoTheLivingRoomWithoutAnyPrompt
#TheOtherDayInHerBabyClassThereWereSomeBigFakeDogsThatTheTeachersBroughtRound
#BRanOffAndSheWouldNotTouchAnyOfTheOtherToys
#SheIsTheOldestByFarNowAndSoonSheWillSoonBeTooOldForTheClass
#SheWasRandomlyHuggingTheWomanNextToUsWhoWeHadNotSpokenTo
#HerSleepHasGotWorseButICheckedAndSheIsGoingThroughALeap
#SheAlsoHadHerOneYearVaccinationsThisWeek
#IWasSayingToSomeoneThatAtLeastThereAreNotSevenJabsButThereWereFour
#TwoInEachLegAndIFeltSoBadForBWhoWasObviouslyUpset
#TheNurseWasSayingThereUsedToBeThreeAt12MonthsThenOneOneMonthLater
#ButPeopleWereJustNotTurningUpForTheSecondAppointmentOrTheKidsWouldRememberTheNeedleAndBeScared
#YesterdayBWasAwakeLoadsDuringTheNightButPrettyMuchAwakeFromFourThirty
#SheAteAllHerBreakfastAtSixSoSheMustHaveBeenHungry
#IStillFeelABitThrownOffFromUsChangingFromFormulaToMilkButTheMainDifferenceWasIDidNotGiveHerYoghurtForDessertTheNightBefore
#SheUsuallyEatsQuiteABitOfItAndIGuessItHelpsFillHerUp
#TodaySheWokeUpAtTheSameTimeButIPutTheHeatingOnAndSheSleptABitMore
#WeHaveJustKindOfAcceptedThatWeWillBeAwakeFromFiveThirtyEverydayNow
#IHaveBeenSoTiredThatIHaveBeenAsleepByTenTheLastCoupleOfNights
#MySicknessComesAndGoesAndIHaveOnlyBeenActuallySickTwoTimes
#TwoOtherTimesIWentToBeSickButNothingCameUp
#IHaveBeenEatingALotOfCheeseAndTomatoSandwiches
#TheOtherNightIHadAReallyStrongCravingForRiceAndMangoChutney
#IFeelABitNervousAboutItAllButHopefullyEverythingWillBeOkay
#IDoNotThinkThereWillEverBeAGoodTimeToHaveASecondKidSoWeWillJustHaveToDoOurBest

#IAskedTiagoAboutHowHeFeelsAboutBeingADadTheseDaysAndHeJustSaidGood

This is why I’ve stopped asking him for comments for these things.

#AfterSomeMoreDiggingHeSaidThatHeNowUnderstandsHisPlaceInTheWorldAsAHumanMore

As the shoot is about his second Father’s Day I thought I needed to at least get something else out of him.

He’s a great Dad. It’s currently 06:38 and he’s up sorting out B’s breakfast, while I’m writing this. I did start writing before 6am but B went back to sleep for 10 minutes…

#IGuessBWillNotBeAsStillForTheShootAsSheWasAYearAgo #SheWasBarelyAWeekOldWhenItWasTiagosFirstFathersDay

Oh, what a year.

#NowSheIsJustOnTheMoveSoMuchAndSheIsStartingToTakeMultipleSteps

She.Does.Not.Sit.Still. A friend came to visit yesterday and we were sat outside with her just pushing her walker up and down.

#TheOtherDaySheDidAboutSixAsSheConcentratedOnMyPhoneAsIMovedIt

She was stood up and she was looking at my phone, so I just held it at her grabbing height and kept moving it. We were sat behind the sofa so Nan and T missed it.

#YesterdaySheWalkedFromTheKitchenIntoTheLivingRoomWithoutAnyPrompt

I was glad that Nan and Tiago saw it. Both times were early evening-ish, so her legs must have enough strength by then.

#TheOtherDayInHerBabyClassThereWereSomeBigFakeDogsThatTheTeachersBroughtRound #BRanOffAndSheWouldNotTouchAnyOfTheOtherToys

I was shocked as I thought she would have grabbed them. I guess she is getting older and some safety defences are kicking in? The teachers were saying some kids just don’t like cuddly toys, but I was surprised. I think she was having a weird day as at home she wouldn’t go near her toys either.

#SheIsTheOldestByFarNowAndSoonSheWillSoonBeTooOldForTheClass

There was a baby I hadn’t noticed before who was starting to crawl, but it was their last week. It’s just B and a lot of kids half her age. She enjoys it though – besides being scared of stuffed animals.

#SheWasRandomlyHuggingTheWomanNextToUsWhoWeHadNotSpokenTo

She did keep looking at the woman’s baby, but then she just crawled off, gave her a hug, then tried to go in her handbag. Classic.

#HerSleepHasGotWorseButICheckedAndSheIsGoingThroughALeap

Great.

#SheAlsoHadHerOneYearVaccinationsThisWeek

Great great.

#IWasSayingToSomeoneThatAtLeastThereAreNotSevenJabsButThereWereFour

I thought it would be one injection for some reason.

#TwoInEachLegAndIFeltSoBadForBWhoWasObviouslyUpset

I had to try to hold her still. Her legs are a mess at the moment. She obviously tried to escape my grasp 🙁

A woman outside was saying she has twins and one watched the other one have their injections and he was off.

#TheNurseWasSayingThereUsedToBeThreeAt12MonthsThenOneOneMonthLater #ButPeopleWereJustNotTurningUpForTheSecondAppointmentOrTheKidsWouldRememberTheNeedleAndBeScared

I guess they didn’t want to overload them, but it’s easier just to get them all done on the same day. Good job my Mum comes round to visit as I think B is fine, but she says to give B paracetamol as she has a bit of a temperature. I don’t even notice so I feel bad.

#YesterdayBWasAwakeLoadsDuringTheNightButPrettyMuchAwakeFromFourThirty

Oh the joys. I tried putting the heating on but that didn’t work much.

#SheAteAllHerBreakfastAtSixSoSheMustHaveBeenHungry #IStillFeelABitThrownOffFromUsChangingFromFormulaToMilkButTheMainDifferenceWasIDidNotGiveHerYoghurtForDessertTheNightBefore #SheUsuallyEatsQuiteABitOfItAndIGuessItHelpsFillHerUp

I really need to look at her meals and change things up a bit. She does seem to be getting into her milk though, but it’s always a bit weird changing from one schedule to another. Soon it will be normal. I think her sleep isn’t helped by the leap and vaccinations…

#TodaySheWokeUpAtTheSameTimeButIPutTheHeatingOnAndSheSleptABitMore

Then she was awake from 5:30, but I went in and told her to go back to sleep. We need to be more strict with only getting her out of bed at 6. Sometimes we cave at 10 to 6. Today we were being strict and she actually fell asleep from 5:55 to 6:05. I had got my laptop out to start writing, but when she went quiet I quickly lay down again.

#WeHaveJustKindOfAcceptedThatWeWillBeAwakeFromFiveThirtyEverydayNow

Even if we don’t get her up until 6 she will be awake.

#IHaveBeenSoTiredThatIHaveBeenAsleepByTenTheLastCoupleOfNights

I seem to wake up around 4 by myself and feel quite awake, but I always want more sleep. If B gets up at 6 then we try to get her to nap from 9 to 11. Sometimes she sleeps all of it, sometimes she doesn’t. I will usually nap for most of it if I do not have much on.

#MySicknessComesAndGoesAndIHaveOnlyBeenActuallySickTwoTimes

Hurrah. I don’t want it to get worse. It’s bad enough as it is.

#TwoOtherTimesIWentToBeSickButNothingCameUp

I was relieved. I didn’t like feeling sick, so I wanted to feel better but I didn’t want to actually be sick. I gagged a couple of times and felt better. Great.

#IHaveBeenEatingALotOfCheeseAndTomatoSandwiches

Toast. Butter. Cheddar. A couple of cherry tomatoes. It seems to be enough to take the sickness away and to leave me feeling happy.

#TheOtherNightIHadAReallyStrongCravingForRiceAndMangoChutney

I don’t really like rice so that was fun/weird.

#IFeelABitNervousAboutItAllButHopefullyEverythingWillBeOkay

Last night I was going from hot to cold lots. I probably had sat outside for too long on a not very warm day.

#IDoNotThinkThereWillEverBeAGoodTimeToHaveASecondKidSoWeWillJustHaveToDoOurBest

I do worry about it, but I would rather have a second one now than leave it a few years. All we can do is our best and I’m sure it’ll all be okay.

Feeling sick now.

And then I was sick 10 minutes later…

7 weeks pregnant with B comparison:

Self-portrait with a piece of tissue wrapped around my finger.
(Dragon Fruit &) Cut To Finger (7 and a half weeks)
 
#SoInMyUlteriorMonologueProjectThereIsAPictureOfMyHandsHoldingADragonFruitWithABloodyFinger
#TheReasonWhyUlteriorMonologueIsCalledThatIsBecauseIWroteHashtagsLikeThese
#ButIDidNotAlwaysWriteWhatIAlwaysReallyWantedToWrite
#IAmWritingTheseHashtagsAWhileAfterITookThePhoto
#ThereIsNoDragonfruitInThisPicture
#ButThereIsTheCutFinger
#AndIThinkInMyEarlyPregnancyIHadAccidentsWithKnivesACoupleOfTimes
#AndThisWasTheWorstTime
#SoInTheHashtagsThatAccompanyTheDragonfruitPictureIfIHadFeltAbleToTalkAboutMyPregnancyIWouldHaveTalkedAboutBeingMoreClumsyThanNormal
#IThinkItWasJustBecauseMyBrainWasElsewhere
#WhichItShouldNotBeWhenIAmHoldingASharpKnife
#ThinkingAboutBeingPregnantAndNotBeingAbleToBelieveItProbably
#SoIHadStartedThisProjectButIWasStillWorkingOnUlteriorMonologueAsIDidNotWantToStopPostingStuff
#ButIRealisedThatINeededToTalkAboutBeingPregnant
#SoUlteriorMonologueReachedANaturalEnd
#ButIBoughtSomeTimeOnInstagramByPostingArchivePictures
#WhichIHadThoughtAboutDoingForAWhileButItGaveMeTheTimeToDoItAsILetMyPregnancyProgress
#IThinkItAnnoyedALotOfPeopleByJustPostingArchiveStuff
#ButIHaveSoMuchWorkThatIForgetIHaveHalfTheTime
#SoItWasNiceToGoThroughItAll
#ButItTookALongTimeToDo
#WhichIsWhatIWantedButByTheEndIWasBeyondDoneWithIt

It’s weird seeing myself with such long hair.

This was just an odd addition to the project where I explained Ulterior Monologue a little bit, and about buying myself time on Instagram.

I have been doing ‘dumb stuff’ at times, but I think it’s from having a toddler and being tired. I still don’t like the term ‘baby brain’.

Self-portrait of my body with a small round plaster on my left arm and a scratch on my belly.
Failed Blood Tests (7 and a half-ish weeks)
 
#SoTheyTriedToTakeMyBloodAndFailed
#ProbablyBecauseItWas10amAndIHadNotEatenYet
#AsIHadBeenSickThatMorningAndItPutMeOff
#ItSeemsSoEarlyToBeTalkingAboutOptions
#WhereIWantToGiveBirthWhenItSeemsSoEarlyAndIDoNotKnowTheFullFacts
#TheMidwifeMentionedAHomeBirth
#ILikeTheIdeaOfItButImmediatelyIJustThoughtAboutTheNeighboursAndWhatTheyWouldThink
#LivingInAFlatWithNeighboursOnMostSidesAndUpAndDownDoesNotMakeItSoAppealing
#ButIDoNotHearMuchFromThem
#ApartFromOneNeighbourWhoCoughsLoudly
#AndOnceICouldHearOneVomitingThroughTheVents
#WhichIsWhatIWorriedThisMorningWhenIWasBeingSick
#TIsWorriedAboutTheRisksOfHomeBirth
#SoINeedToFindHimSomeInfo
#OtherPeopleHaveExpressedTheirDisapproval
#WhichUpsetsMe
#AsItIsSoEarlyAndItIsNotSetInStoneYet
#ButThatIsMyPersonalPreference
#AndIAmTheOneGivingBirth
#AndIWantToFeelAsRelaxedAndComfortableAsPossibleToDoTheJobThatPeopleHaveBeenDoingForThousandsOfYears
#AsICanNotBeBotheredWithBeingSuperStressedOut
#LikeISaidMyMainConcernIsTheNeighbours
#SoLetUsHopeForAShortLabourThatIsMidDayAndNotMidNight
#ButItMightNotHappen
#MaybeIWillGoToTheHospitalOrABirthingCentre
#ABirthingPoolIsAllIReallyWant
#AsIWillNotGetASummerHolidaySoICanPretendIAmInTheSeaWhichIsWhereIFeelMostAtPeace
#FingersCrossedThatAllGoesWellFromHere
#ItAllSeemsTooEarlyButTodayMadeThingsABitMoreReal
#IDoNotKnowHowIGotTheScratchOnMyBelly

I learned a lot from all the blood tests to know to eat and drink more this time, though due to Covid my first tests were delayed anyways. They didn’t even ask me where I wanted to give birth this time. I’m also less for a homebirth as we live with my Nan, but it would be easier with not having to worry about childcare for B etc.


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