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Oh Me, Oh Mãe

An Imitation Of Sorts Of How B Often Sits (4th April 2021)

Sat with one foot behind me and the other forward on a wall. You can not see my head.
An Imitation Of Sorts Of How B Often Sits (4th April 2021)
 
#BSitsALotWithOneFootInFrontOfHerAndOneBehind
#IGuessItIsGoodForBalanceAndMightJustBeHowSheEndsUpSittingRatherThanByChoiceAtTimes
#IHopeSheKeepsHerFlexibilityThoughIHaveNotSeenHerDoTheSplitsInAWhile
#TodayIsEasterSundayButWeDoNotReallyCelebrateIt
#IJustLikeTheFactThatTiagoHasAFourDayWeekend
#TheBiggestGossipAtTheMomentIsThatIQuitMyJobYesterday
#ItWasReallyStressingMeOutAndYesterdayPeopleWereSoRudeToMeThatIJustWentHome
#IReallyHateQuittingThingsButIWasJustStandingAroundCryingThenTryingToGetOverItAndCarryOnThenSomeoneElseWouldBeRude
#IWasTryingToAtLeastMakeItToTheEndOfMyShiftButIHadEnoughWhenIStartedToCryInFrontOfSomeone
#ItWasMentallyAndPhysicallyDrainingSoItDidNotSeemWorthPuttingUpWithForAFewMoreWeeksEspeciallyAsIKnowPeopleWillJustGetWorse
#ForMeMorningShiftsWereBetterWithMyMumLookingAfterBAndNotHavingWorkHangingOverMeAllDay
#ButIJustFeltLikeIWasBotheringPeopleAndWakingThemUp
#NowINeedToTryToFindOtherWorkWhichIsEasierSaidThanDone
#IForgotToMentionThatMyNanHadHerSecondJabAWeekOrSoAgoWhichIsGoodNews
#TheWeatherHasGivenUsAGlimpseOfWhatTheNextFourOrFiveMonthsCouldBeLike
#SittingOutsideInTheParkOrInTheGardenWhileBSamplesDifferentLeavesAndOutdoorCuisine
#TheOtherDayWhileWorkingIWalkedPastAGuyWhoJustSmelledOfSweatAndItWasWeirdlyNostalgic
#IRealisedThatIHadNotSmelledThatSmellInALongTime
#AndThenAnotherGuyWalkedByWhoJustStunkOfCologneAndIHadNotThatSmelledThatForALongTimeEither
#ItWasNiceToBeOutAndAboutMoreByMyselfFeelingLikeSomethingOtherThanAMother
#ThoughIThinkMyMotheringWasAlsoGoingDownHillDueToTheJobAndFeelingSoTiredAndStressed
#IFeelShatteredNowButIHopeItWillPassInACoupleOfDays
#ThenICanGetBackToTryingToBeTheMotherIWantToBe
#IHaveNotDoneAYoutubeBabyClassWithBInAWhileAndIHaveNotReadToHerMuchLately
#ThoughSheDoesRarelySitStillAndHerLegsAreGettingStrongerEachDay
#SheHasNotBeenSleepingSoWellLately
#SheWasUpAt6TodayAnd5ThirtyYesterdayThoughTiagoGotUpWithHerAndLetMeHaveMoreSleep
#IThinkSheIsTeethingALotAgainAndHerSkinHasGotABitWorse
#WeHaveSeenAFewMorePeopleLatelyThoughAndIAmLookingForwardToHangingOutWithOthersSoon
#IFeelLikeINeedAWeekOffButHopefullyThatFeelingWillPassSoonAsItIsNotPossibleAnyways 
 

#BSitsALotWithOneFootInFrontOfHerAndOneBehind

I have been trying to photograph her doing it, but I always seem too slow. I go to grab my phone and then she stops doing it to follow me.

#IGuessItIsGoodForBalanceAndMightJustBeHowSheEndsUpSittingRatherThanByChoiceAtTimes

I can’t ask her about it, but she doesn’t seem to mind sitting like it.

#IHopeSheKeepsHerFlexibilityThoughIHaveNotSeenHerDoTheSplitsInAWhile

I’d love for her to do gymnastics or something when she’s old enough. I’d have loved to do things like that when I was a kid – I won’t even attempt handstands anymore after too many falls on my face.

#TodayIsEasterSundayButWeDoNotReallyCelebrateIt

I keep forgetting about it to be honest. In past years I’ve just been annoyed that the supermarkets are open at different times.

#IJustLikeTheFactThatTiagoHasAFourDayWeekend

More family time/more time for me to sneak off and do a bit of my own stuff.

#TheBiggestGossipAtTheMomentIsThatIQuitMyJobYesterday

I feel mixed about it. Relieved but also like I’ve let my family down.

#ItWasReallyStressingMeOutAndYesterdayPeopleWereSoRudeToMeThatIJustWentHome

You might be able to work out what my job was – I’m not supposed to talk about it and I’m worried that someone at the company tracks this stuff.

#IReallyHateQuittingThingsButIWasJustStandingAroundCryingThenTryingToGetOverItAndCarryOnThenSomeoneElseWouldBeRude

You know when you’re trying hard not to cry that it makes it worse and then you just cry more? It’s worse when you’re half an hour walk from home so can’t just pop home, cry it out, then carry on.

I felt relieved to have a mask to hide behind, but it was still obvious from the sniffles and red eyes.

#IWasTryingToAtLeastMakeItToTheEndOfMyShiftButIHadEnoughWhenIStartedToCryInFrontOfSomeone

So embarrassing.

#ItWasMentallyAndPhysicallyDrainingSoItDidNotSeemWorthPuttingUpWithForAFewMoreWeeksEspeciallyAsIKnowPeopleWillJustGetWorse

I was nice and polite to people. I was bothering them as they had not done something that they needed to do. The nice people have done what they needed to now.

#ForMeMorningShiftsWereBetterWithMyMumLookingAfterBAndNotHavingWorkHangingOverMeAllDay

I have another job which is sometimes busy and sometimes not, but I leave that for the evenings. I did a couple of evenings with this job, but it was too stressful with getting dinner and B sorted. Plus I was knackered as it was a different kind of energy.

#ButIJustFeltLikeIWasBotheringPeopleAndWakingThemUp

I did not like knocking on people’s doors at 9am, but if they had done what they needed to then I would not need to be there.

#NowINeedToTryToFindOtherWorkWhichIsEasierSaidThanDone

I’ve been thinking about setting up a patreon for a while, but I feel weird/awkward about it. I might look into it again though. I need to get smart about making money from art, but my confidence is not great. I need to get over things though.

#IForgotToMentionThatMyNanHadHerSecondJabAWeekOrSoAgoWhichIsGoodNews

Hurrah.

#TheWeatherHasGivenUsAGlimpseOfWhatTheNextFourOrFiveMonthsCouldBeLike #SittingOutsideInTheParkOrInTheGardenWhileBSamplesDifferentLeavesAndOutdoorCuisine

The weather was hot, then it went cold but it has been warm enough to sit in the park on a picnic blanket the last couple of days in the afternoon – with coats on of course. B crawls off the mat and inspects everything, but I’m sure it’s good for her.

#TheOtherDayWhileWorkingIWalkedPastAGuyWhoJustSmelledOfSweatAndItWasWeirdlyNostalgic #IRealisedThatIHadNotSmelledThatSmellInALongTime

It was odd. In the past I would have been like ‘well that guy smelled of sweat, but so have most of the men I’ve walked past today’.

I only started to use deodorant again recently to be fair…

#AndThenAnotherGuyWalkedByWhoJustStunkOfCologneAndIHadNotThatSmelledThatForALongTimeEither

Blegh.

#ItWasNiceToBeOutAndAboutMoreByMyselfFeelingLikeSomethingOtherThanAMother

It was weird being out without B. I bumped into a lady who has a dog while out in my work garb and I said to her ‘you might not recognise me without a baby in tow’.

#ThoughIThinkMyMotheringWasAlsoGoingDownHillDueToTheJobAndFeelingSoTiredAndStressed

Trying to juggle everything has not been good. It would be fine if I had liked the job, but trying to balance it all for a job that made me miserable has been rubbish.

#IFeelShatteredNowButIHopeItWillPassInACoupleOfDays

I might try to have a lie down when I finish this before B wakes up.

#ThenICanGetBackToTryingToBeTheMotherIWantToBe

A mother who pays more attention to her child is a good start.

#IHaveNotDoneAYoutubeBabyClassWithBInAWhileAndIHaveNotReadToHerMuchLately #ThoughSheDoesRarelySitStillAndHerLegsAreGettingStrongerEachDay

The last time I did it B would not sit still. Our last online zoom baby class was just our teacher, B and me. B would not sit still for that either. It’s going to be interesting seeing how she reacts in a real life class.

#SheHasNotBeenSleepingSoWellLately

Le sigh.

#SheWasUpAt6TodayAnd5ThirtyYesterdayThoughTiagoGotUpWithHerAndLetMeHaveMoreSleep

We usually leave her until 6 before we get her out of her cot, but yesterday T just got up with her as none of us were sleeping.

#IThinkSheIsTeethingALotAgainAndHerSkinHasGotABitWorse

She woke up at 11 last night and wouldn’t settle. In the end we gave her some paracetamol as she wanted to chew on our fingers and she went back to sleep.

#WeHaveSeenAFewMorePeopleLatelyThoughAndIAmLookingForwardToHangingOutWithOthersSoon

My Uncles visited the other day which was a nice surprise.

#IFeelLikeINeedAWeekOffButHopefullyThatFeelingWillPassSoonAsItIsNotPossibleAnyways

I need to sort my life out. Time for a quick lie down first though.


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Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Seventh Family Portrait (28th March 2021)

Tiago holding B, while I hug both of them. B's face is covered by her hand which has been edited onto her face and enlarged.
Seventh Family Portrait (28th March 2021)
 
#ItIsAShameThatWeHaveNotManagedToDoAFamilyPortraitEveryMonthSinceBWasBorn
#IGuessSevenOutOfTenIsNotBadConsideringIDidNotRealiseItWasGoingToBeARegularThing
#BIsTryingToStandUpAsMuchAsPossibleTheseDays
#SheUsesAStepladderTheSofaAllOfMyNansLittleTablesAndThingsLikeGlassShelvesWhichWeHadHiddenAwayWithCushions
#SheIsGettingStrongerEverydayButSheStillHasALotOfBumps
#TheDentistWentOkayTheOtherDayThoughIKeptApologisingForHowBadMyTeethAre
#SheSaidThatWeShouldLetBHavingAGoAtBrushingHerOwnTeethToo
#INearlyLaughedOutLoudAsWeAreFindingItDifficultEnough
#ButWeJustMakeTheSoundOfAnElectricToothbrushAndSheLetsUsBrushHerSoleToothAndHerGums
#MyBackToothIsPlayingUpAndWillProbablyNeedToBeRemovedAtSomePoint
#ItWasSoWeirdRemovingMyMaskWhileBeingSoCloseToStrangers
#IFeltAwkwardRemovingItAndSheSaidThatALotOfPeopleSayTheSame
#ThisMorningTheClocksChangedAndLuckilyForUsBWokeUpAtSevenThirtyWhichWasSixThirtyOldTime
#SheWokeUpAtSixThirtyYesterdayTooWhichIsBetterThanSixSoLetsSeeWhatTimeSheWakesUpNowWithTheTimeChange
#IKnowIShouldHaveGoneToBedEarlierLastNightButIKindOfResentedTheFactThatIShouldSoIDidNot
#MyNewJobIsSoTiring
#IHadANapAfterIGotInTodayWhenBHadHersAndIDidTheSameYesterday
#TheNapAlwaysEndsUpBeingAbout35MinutesAndIWakeUpFeelingSuperGroggy
#IRecentlyFoundTheEyeMaskThatIGotForMyJustInCaseHospitalBirthBag
#ItHasBeenGettingSomeUseAndItDefinitelyHelpsMeFallAsleepQuicker
#WeDidThisShootAfterWeAllWokeUpFromOurNap
#WeWouldHaveJustPhotographedUsInBedButIRealisedThatOurLastFamilyPortraitWasUsLyingInBed
#SoWeMovedBsCotAndDidTheShootInHerRoom
#AtOnePointSheActuallyTookASetOfPhotosAsSheWasMessingWithMyComputerAndPressedTheButtonToShootASet
#SheSpentTheShootTryingToStandUpThenBeingAnnoyedAtUsTryingToKeepHerInShotOrSheWasCrawlingAwayAndBashingMyLaptop
#ItIsNiceToBeOutOfTheHouseMoreButItIsWeird
#MyBodyIsDefinitelyNotUsedToAllTheWalkingButHopefullyItWillGetOverItSoon
#IAmEnjoyingIntroducingBToMoreMusicThoughSheDoesJustSeemToLoveJumpByVanHalen
#InTheLastWeekIHavePlayedLauraVeirsJulyFlameAlbumALotWhenFeedingHerAsItIsQuiteRelaxing
#ICanNotBelieveHowMuchSheChangesWeekToWeekAndHowMuchOfASmallHumanSheIs

#ItIsAShameThatWeHaveNotManagedToDoAFamilyPortraitEveryMonthSinceBWasBorn #IGuessSevenOutOfTenIsNotBadConsideringIDidNotRealiseItWasGoingToBeARegularThing

There are definitely themes within this project with the 3 big ones being the family portraits, ‘portrait of a mother of a … month old’ (which I also have not done every month) and imitating B.

#BIsTryingToStandUpAsMuchAsPossibleTheseDays #SheUsesAStepladderTheSofaAllOfMyNansLittleTablesAndThingsLikeGlassShelvesWhichWeHadHiddenAwayWithCushions

The stepladder that I sit on to feed her in her highchair, the sofa that my Nan sits on, the tables that house things like photo frames and vases, and the glass shelves under the TV which she pushes the cushion away from to do so. Fun times.

#SheIsGettingStrongerEverydayButSheStillHasALotOfBumps

I am trying to be chilled out about it, as you could bubble wrap her and she’d still hurt herself.

#TheDentistWentOkayTheOtherDayThoughIKeptApologisingForHowBadMyTeethAre

I just felt embarrassed. She’s like ‘do you eat a lot of sugar?’, but I said I’m paying for my teenage/early 20s sugar sins.

I was known in high school for my addiction to a certain sugary drink and I was sure one day I’d get a tattoo related to it. I’m glad to say that I have no tattoos. I had that certain drink while at a hospital for a pregnancy scan (when pregnant with B) and they wanted her to change positions. They told me to get a sugary drink and walk up and down the corridors. The drink tasted disgusting (probably due to less sugar) and she did not move.

#SheSaidThatWeShouldLetBHavingAGoAtBrushingHerOwnTeethToo #INearlyLaughedOutLoudAsWeAreFindingItDifficultEnough #ButWeJustMakeTheSoundOfAnElectricToothbrushAndSheLetsUsBrushHerSoleToothAndHerGums

I keep referring to her teeth, but she does just have the one for now. I am dreading future teeth arriving. I hope they just all turn up at once.

#MyBackToothIsPlayingUpAndWillProbablyNeedToBeRemovedAtSomePoint

Great. I’m not looking forward to that day.

#ItWasSoWeirdRemovingMyMaskWhileBeingSoCloseToStrangers

The dentist and her assistant.

#IFeltAwkwardRemovingItAndSheSaidThatALotOfPeopleSayTheSame

I just kept it on until she said to take it off as I just felt so weirded out by it.

#ThisMorningTheClocksChangedAndLuckilyForUsBWokeUpAtSevenThirtyWhichWasSixThirtyOldTime

I say luckily enough, but B has been waking up at 6 a lot for a long time.

#SheWokeUpAtSixThirtyYesterdayTooWhichIsBetterThanSixSoLetsSeeWhatTimeSheWakesUpNowWithTheTimeChange

I am guessing it could be 6 new time, which will be 5. I hope not… I hope all the standing up has tired her out.

#IKnowIShouldHaveGoneToBedEarlierLastNightButIKindOfResentedTheFactThatIShouldSoIDidNot

I think I should go to bed early tonight though!

#MyNewJobIsSoTiring

It is a different kind of tiring to mothering all day.

#IHadANapAfterIGotInTodayWhenBHadHersAndIDidTheSameYesterday

Family naps as T also had naps too. He’s not used to looking after B so much at weekends without me either.

We just had a chat and he said he used to feel recharged on Sunday nights for work and now he feels knackered. We’ll have to see how things go.

#TheNapAlwaysEndsUpBeingAbout35MinutesAndIWakeUpFeelingSuperGroggy

So we bring in B from her room and sit in bed until we wake up a bit.

#IRecentlyFoundTheEyeMaskThatIGotForMyJustInCaseHospitalBirthBag

The one that I used for 4 days and have on my head in this photo.

#ItHasBeenGettingSomeUseAndItDefinitelyHelpsMeFallAsleepQuicker

Hello instantly dark room.

#WeDidThisShootAfterWeAllWokeUpFromOurNap

We planned to do it before the nap, but time flew by and we weren’t in the mood.

#WeWouldHaveJustPhotographedUsInBedButIRealisedThatOurLastFamilyPortraitWasUsLyingInBed

Yeah, this one.

#SoWeMovedBsCotAndDidTheShootInHerRoom

My old ‘studio’ wall, which I also use for my dance videos.

#AtOnePointSheActuallyTookASetOfPhotosAsSheWasMessingWithMyComputerAndPressedTheButtonToShootASet

I ordered a new remote as my other one was going weird, but I’ve been using my laptop to just keep shooting frames and I like this method. It’s a lot easier with a wriggling baby…

#SheSpentTheShootTryingToStandUpThenBeingAnnoyedAtUsTryingToKeepHerInShotOrSheWasCrawlingAwayAndBashingMyLaptop

Classic. She does love smacking my laptop a bit too much.

(21st April: I think the final shot is a bit messy with the composition, but this was the reality of trying to do a shoot. I’m never sure what to use to cover B’s face, but I liked how her hand was so I instinctively copied and pasted it, then enlarged it to cover her features better. It fits well with something I like in photos – hands.)

#ItIsNiceToBeOutOfTheHouseMoreButItIsWeird

With my job. I really need to check the weather before I go out as it changes so fast. Today I just wore a coat the whole time as it was spitting constantly (the weather).

#MyBodyIsDefinitelyNotUsedToAllTheWalkingButHopefullyItWillGetOverItSoon

I’ve had my period this week, so hopefully I won’t be so tired next week.

#IAmEnjoyingIntroducingBToMoreMusicThoughSheDoesJustSeemToLoveJumpByVanHalen

She just looks up at our Alexa a lot.

(21st April: Weirdly as I got to this bit it came on. I need to find her more songs as we listen to it way too much.)

#InTheLastWeekIHavePlayedLauraVeirsJulyFlameAlbumALotWhenFeedingHerAsItIsQuiteRelaxing

We used to listen to Bryan Adams a lot, though I was playing The Knife while feeding her dinner today.

‘Heartbeats’ used to be my alarm for years. Tiago heard it and said ‘this used to be your alarm, I hate this song’. Whenever I hear it I do just think of my alarm.

#ICanNotBelieveHowMuchSheChangesWeekToWeekAndHowMuchOfASmallHumanSheIs

Well, these hashtags jumped around a lot at the end, but yes it is so weird. It almost feels like she has always crawled, but 9 months ago she could not even hold her head up by herself. Bizarre.


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Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Imitating B’s New Cheeky Grin, Though She Does Not Have A Mouth Full Of Bad Teeth (24th March 2021)

Me with a big grin, trying to imitate B.
Imitating B’s New Cheeky Grin, Though She Does Not Have A Mouth Full Of Bad Teeth (24th March 2021)
 
#TheOtherDayINoticedThatBHadANewCheekyGrin
#IMadeAVideoOfItAndShowedItToHerThenSheWasGrinningBackAtHerself
#ThinkingAboutItSheHasNotReallyDoneItSinceThenButSheDoesSeemToDoNewThingsAndForgetAboutThemForABit
#MyMumSaysSheIsImitatingMeWhenIDoItButIAmNotAwareOfMyselfDoingIt
#WeAreJustConstantlyOnBWatchNowAsSheSeemsToBumpHerHeadAMillionTimesADay
#LuckilyBabiesSeemQuiteResilientWhichIsGoodAsOtherwiseIDoNotThinkAnyoneWouldMakeItToAdulthood
#HerToothIsStillYetToBreakThroughAndSheLikesToWakeUpAtAround11pmInPain
#LastNightTAndIWereBothSoTiredThatWeHopedItWasJustARandomWakeUp
#OfCourseIWasJustStartingToDriftOffWhenSheWokeUp
#EventuallyTiagoWentAndGaveHerSomeTeethingGelWhichSeemedToWork
#IShouldHaveJustGotUpSoonerAndDoneItAndNowIFeelQuiteGuilty
#NowIAmActuallyLookingForwardToTheClocksChangingAsIHopeWeCanGetBBackToWakingUpAt7
#OftenWhenISeePicturesOfOtherPeopleBreastfeedingIFeelBadThatOurBreastfeedingJourneyEndedEarlierThanIPlanned
#ButBReallyDidNotWantToDoItSoItMadeSenseToStop
#WeCompletedOurCensusTheOtherDayAndItWasQuiteExcitingToPutBOnThere
#HopefullyIn100YearsTimeWeWillHaveRelativesWhoAreInterestedInUs
#AndTheyWillBeAbleToFindUsLivingWithNan
#IAmDefinitelyGladThatWeMoved
#IThinkIWouldBeStrugglingALotIfWeStillLivedInLiverpoolAsWeWouldNotHaveSoMuchSupport
#IWouldNotBeAbleToHaveTheJobThatIAmDoingAtTheMomentOrAtLeastNotBeAbleToDoItInTheSameWay
#ItHasBeenNiceToGoOutThoughMyLegsFeelABitLikeJellyAfterWalkingSoMuchYesterday
#ItIsGoodThatBIsUsedToMyMumAsSheDoesNotSeemToMindWhenIGoOut
#ItIsEarlyDaysSoThatMightChangeButSheIsQuiteHappyClingingToMyMumDuringABadTeethingMoment
#IHopeItDoesNotRainMuchOnFutureWorkDaysAsThatWillMakeItNotSoGreat
#IFeelPositiveWithGettingOutMoreThoughAndNextWeekWeShouldBeAbleToSitInOtherPeoplesGardens
#AndSoonBabyClassesWillReopenAgainWhichIAmGreatlyLookingForwardTo
#FriendsInDifferentAreasHaveAlreadyBeenGoingToGroupsAndHaveBeenAbleToHangOut
#IWantBToHaveSomeFriendsThatSheCanCrawlAroundWithAndDoThingsThatSheHasBeenMissingOutOn
#LuckilySheDoesNotKnowSheIsMissingOutButHopefullySheWillNotHaveToMissOutAgainThoughIAmNotThatOptimisticAboutItAll
#IAmGladIHaveTheDentistSoonAsOneOfMyTeethIsStartingToPlayUp

(18th April 2021: I debated changing the title today, but there needs to be some comment in it about B not having so many teeth, and my teeth are bad so I guess it’s accurate. I do feel a bit awkward about it, but I guess that’s why my solo show last year was called Always Awkward.

#TheOtherDayINoticedThatBHadANewCheekyGrin

It made me cry a bit as I thought it was so sweet.

#IMadeAVideoOfItAndShowedItToHerThenSheWasGrinningBackAtHerself

Adorable.

#ThinkingAboutItSheHasNotReallyDoneItSinceThenButSheDoesSeemToDoNewThingsAndForgetAboutThemForABit

Yeah this happens a lot. I showed her the video again earlier, but she didn’t do it.

#MyMumSaysSheIsImitatingMeWhenIDoItButIAmNotAwareOfMyselfDoingIt

I guess it’s hard when you can’t see yourself all of the time – not that I’d want to anyways.

#WeAreJustConstantlyOnBWatchNowAsSheSeemsToBumpHerHeadAMillionTimesADay

She currently has two little red marks on her head at the moment. One is from her bumping her head on her box of eggs and the other one could be from a million other incidents.

#LuckilyBabiesSeemQuiteResilientWhichIsGoodAsOtherwiseIDoNotThinkAnyoneWouldMakeItToAdulthood

I probably should look at a baby first aid course. It has been on my list of things to do – I need to get on it.

#HerToothIsStillYetToBreakThroughAndSheLikesToWakeUpAtAround11pmInPain

🙁 I knew I was never going to look forward to the teething phase. Why can’t it just hurry up and appear. We still have lots of other teeth to deal with…

#LastNightTAndIWereBothSoTiredThatWeHopedItWasJustARandomWakeUp

‘She might just go back to sleep soon.’ She did settle for a bit, then as we were falling back to sleep she started again.

#OfCourseIWasJustStartingToDriftOffWhenSheWokeUp

T was already asleep. I need to start reading books again as otherwise my brain doesn’t switch off well…

#EventuallyTiagoWentAndGaveHerSomeTeethingGelWhichSeemedToWork

We hadn’t been using it much before, but it’s our new best friend.

#IShouldHaveJustGotUpSoonerAndDoneItAndNowIFeelQuiteGuilty

Bad parent. We live and learn…

#NowIAmActuallyLookingForwardToTheClocksChangingAsIHopeWeCanGetBBackToWakingUpAt7

Doubt it, but I hope so. Her naps still seem to be a bit here and there too.

#OftenWhenISeePicturesOfOtherPeopleBreastfeedingIFeelBadThatOurBreastfeedingJourneyEndedEarlierThanIPlanned

A random jump, but it’s on my notes to jog my memory about what I might want to talk about.

#ButBReallyDidNotWantToDoItSoItMadeSenseToStop

I probably upset people with my breastfeeding pictures, as they might not have been able to breastfeed or their journey ended earlier than they thought it might too.

I definitely think people should keep sharing their photos, but it just reminds me that I am sad about it all.

#WeCompletedOurCensusTheOtherDayAndItWasQuiteExcitingToPutBOnThere #HopefullyIn100YearsTimeWeWillHaveRelativesWhoAreInterestedInUs #AndTheyWillBeAbleToFindUsLivingWithNan

I do think about things like our family tree a bit. Will our line continue? Maybe, maybe not. Hopefully some distant relative will be interested in us though.

#IAmDefinitelyGladThatWeMoved

I do miss Liverpool but the winter would have been tough.

#IThinkIWouldBeStrugglingALotIfWeStillLivedInLiverpoolAsWeWouldNotHaveSoMuchSupport

Obviously there are people out there who have been through this pandemic with so little support. We would have just got on with it, but I think we would have probably ending up moving somewhere – even just the other side of Liverpool. We didn’t live near any parks, which was a big thing that I felt we were missing.

#IWouldNotBeAbleToHaveTheJobThatIAmDoingAtTheMomentOrAtLeastNotBeAbleToDoItInTheSameWay

At the moment I am spreading out my hours over multiple days so my Mum or Tiago can look after her. She would have either had to go to nursery which would have cancelled out what I was earning or Tiago would have had to look after her all weekend.

#ItHasBeenNiceToGoOutThoughMyLegsFeelABitLikeJellyAfterWalkingSoMuchYesterday

My shoulders are also a bit sore, so I have been trying to roll them out a lot.

#ItIsGoodThatBIsUsedToMyMumAsSheDoesNotSeemToMindWhenIGoOut #ItIsEarlyDaysSoThatMightChangeButSheIsQuiteHappyClingingToMyMumDuringABadTeethingMoment

If she was upset I’m sure she’d get over it soon but I’d feel guilty, though it’s good for us to let me go and do my own thing for a bit.

#IHopeItDoesNotRainMuchOnFutureWorkDaysAsThatWillMakeItNotSoGreat

It has just finished raining. I’m not supposed to talk about my job on social media, so this is why I am quite vague.

#IFeelPositiveWithGettingOutMoreThoughAndNextWeekWeShouldBeAbleToSitInOtherPeoplesGardens

I thought the 29th March was a Sunday, but nope it’s a Monday.

Will people probably be sat in gardens this weekend anyways? Probably.

#AndSoonBabyClassesWillReopenAgainWhichIAmGreatlyLookingForwardTo

Hurrah.

#FriendsInDifferentAreasHaveAlreadyBeenGoingToGroupsAndHaveBeenAbleToHangOut

A know one friend goes to an outdoors group and other friends go to a playgroup. I still don’t know when a playgroup will open near us. Am I jealous? Yes. Am I dealing with it? Yes. I have a big distraction with work now, and by the time I finish that job hopefully lots more things will be open.

#IWantBToHaveSomeFriendsThatSheCanCrawlAroundWithAndDoThingsThatSheHasBeenMissingOutOn

We’ve bumped into a Mum and her kids a couple of times this week, so it’s been nice for B to see a baby her own age.

#LuckilySheDoesNotKnowSheIsMissingOutButHopefullySheWillNotHaveToMissOutAgainThoughIAmNotThatOptimisticAboutItAll

It sounds like things are getting bad again. Hopefully we can be smarter as a country about things this time. The other day we realised that we might not be able to see Tiago’s family this summer. We don’t fancy throwing money down the drain as the logistics are complicated, so we’ll just have to wait and see.

#IAmGladIHaveTheDentistSoonAsOneOfMyTeethIsStartingToPlayUp

A random end, but yes this tooth is playing me up so I’m glad I can get it looked at soon.


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