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Pregnancy Waiting II

General Documenting Pregnancy Shoot VII (36 Weeks / 5th January 2022)

Shoot which I am recreating for the 7th time this pregnancy. I am wearing a bra and leggings. I have my right hand clasping my left elbow. My bump is bigger than the previous version of this image.
General Documenting Pregnancy Shoot VII (36 Weeks / 5th January 2022)
 
#WellIThoughtThe4WeeksWentFastBetweenShootsLastTimeButThese4WeeksHaveGoneScarilyFast
#IPlanToDropTheTimeBetweenTheseShootsTo2WeeksNowThoughBWasBornBefore38WeeksSoWeWillHaveToSee
#MyBumpIsDroppingLowerOutOfTheFrameWhichIsNotGreatVisuallyButIFeelLikeItIsTooLateToChangeHowIShootThemNowForContinuityPurposes
#TheyAreNotAsSpotOnAsIWouldLikeThemToBeAsTheEarlyOnesAreMoreSideOnAndWithTheLastOneMyBumpIsMorePushedOutButOhWell
#MyMumSawMeYesterdayAndSaidMyBumpHasDroppedMore
#WeStillCanNotFindBs0To3MonthClothesWhichIsReallyAnnoying
#WeHaveACoupleOfSleepsuitsThatWeBoughtRecentlyThoughAndIFoundSomeVestsThatWeDidNotGetRoundToDonating
#SoWeWillManageButIWantToFindAllBsOldSleepsuitsAsTheyHaveTwoWayZipsWhichIsSuperUseful
#IHaveWashedEverythingThatIHaveFoundWhichIncludesACoupleOfHatsAndSomeCardigans
#YesterdayIMadeAListForTheHospitalAndStartedToPackAsIDidNotRealiseThatIAlreadyHadItPackedBy35WeeksWithB
#IWasPrettyOrganisedConsideringIThoughtIWouldBeA42WeekerAndWasPlanningForAHomebirth
#WeGotASecondHandBottleWarmerAndASteriliserWhichTiagoPickedUpYesterdaySoICanTickThemOffTheBabyList
#WeBorrowedThemFromFriendsLastTimeAndDidNotThinkWeWouldUseThemButWeUsedThemLoadsSoItIsGoodToBePrepared
#WhenISayToBWhereIsTheBabySheJustPokesAtMyBellyButtonAndSometimesSmacksTheBumpWithBothOfHerHands
#ISayGentleButSheDoesNotReallyGetItWhichIsFairEnoughAsSheIsStillQuiteYoung
#SometimesIForgetHowYoungSheIs
#IAmGettingQuiteExcitedAtTheThoughtOfMeetingBabyX
#ICanNotWaitToSeeHowBReactsWhenTheyMeetForTheFirstTime
#IAmStillScepticalAboutItBeingAGirlSoWeShallHaveToWaitAndSee
#INeedToWriteABirthPreferencesDocument
#IHopeICanHaveAWaterBirthThisTimeButIKnowINeedToKeepMyExpectationsLow
#BIsGrowingUpMoreEachDay
#SheWasBeingQuietTheOtherDayAndIFoundHerJustLookingAtOneOfMyNansCatalogues
#SheDoesItQuiteALotWhichMakesMeLaugh
#WeBoughtHerATunnelAndYesterdaySheWasSatInItReadingOneOfThem
#InTheBathSheKeptPuttingHerHandsUpToThePumpOfHerBodyWashAndThenRubbingHerHands
#SheHasNotBeenEatingMuchOfHerOwnBreakfastLatelyButThenSheHappilyTakesTheScrambledEggThatMyNanLeavesOnHerPlateForHer
#SheWillJustPickAtItAllMorningAndStealMyCrusts
#YesterdayIGaveMyNanHerBreakfastAndBWentToGetATrayForHerPlate
#SheHasANewThingWhereSheWillAcceptNothingLessThanABigPieceOfSomethingLikeHerGettingOffendedAtMeOfferingHerABitOfBananaRatherThanAWholeOne
 

#WellIThoughtThe4WeeksWentFastBetweenShootsLastTimeButThese4WeeksHaveGoneScarilyFast #IPlanToDropTheTimeBetweenTheseShootsTo2WeeksNowThoughBWasBornBefore38WeeksSoWeWillHaveToSee

I actually thought that I had done the last shoot 2 weeks ago and that now I was going to change to doing them every 2 weeks, that’s how quick time has gone…

So, this could be the last one, but it could not.

#MyBumpIsDroppingLowerOutOfTheFrameWhichIsNotGreatVisuallyButIFeelLikeItIsTooLateToChangeHowIShootThemNowForContinuityPurposes #TheyAreNotAsSpotOnAsIWouldLikeThemToBeAsTheEarlyOnesAreMoreSideOnAndWithTheLastOneMyBumpIsMorePushedOutButOhWell

In all honesty I am not going to miss doing these shoots. I find them quite annoying and frustrating. I think especially now as I can see the errors I made earlier on. I should have just stood up, but I did not take the original one with the plan of repeating it every month. If I had thought about it more then I would have done it differently…

#MyMumSawMeYesterdayAndSaidMyBumpHasDroppedMore

I can not really tell, but I guess the baby is getting bigger and getting ready so it makes sense.

#WeStillCanNotFindBs0To3MonthClothesWhichIsReallyAnnoying

I’m so over it.

#WeHaveACoupleOfSleepsuitsThatWeBoughtRecentlyThoughAndIFoundSomeVestsThatWeDidNotGetRoundToDonating #SoWeWillManageButIWantToFindAllBsOldSleepsuitsAsTheyHaveTwoWayZipsWhichIsSuperUseful

I’d buy more of the same sleepsuits but they’re not cheap, and the baby might not be in them for long. Especially if they’re bigger than B was. Also, as we are not planning to have more kids it does not make sense. We need a few more though, so hopefully we can borrow some or find some alright ones second hand.

#IHaveWashedEverythingThatIHaveFoundWhichIncludesACoupleOfHatsAndSomeCardigans

So, all is not lost. Hurrah. They’re clothes that I did not pack away when we moved though as I guess I hoped B would wear them a bit more, and/or were a bit big for B as a newborn.

#YesterdayIMadeAListForTheHospitalAndStartedToPackAsIDidNotRealiseThatIAlreadyHadItPackedBy35WeeksWithB

Thanks to this blog and comparisons for making me realise.

#IWasPrettyOrganisedConsideringIThoughtIWouldBeA42WeekerAndWasPlanningForAHomebirth

This time I am preparing for a pre-38 week birth, but am obviously a bit more chilled about it. I guess having a toddler to run around after makes it more tiring. I had more time last time…

#WeGotASecondHandBottleWarmerAndASteriliserWhichTiagoPickedUpYesterdaySoICanTickThemOffTheBabyList

We don’t have too much to get now. Just a coat extender for babywearing, snacks and drinks for birth/hospital, sleepsuits, and a baby book (I’m still undecided about which one to get).

#WeBorrowedThemFromFriendsLastTimeAndDidNotThinkWeWouldUseThemButWeUsedThemLoadsSoItIsGoodToBePrepared

I did not expect to pump so much last time.

#WhenISayToBWhereIsTheBabySheJustPokesAtMyBellyButtonAndSometimesSmacksTheBumpWithBothOfHerHands #ISayGentleButSheDoesNotReallyGetItWhichIsFairEnoughAsSheIsStillQuiteYoung

Yesterday, I made a video of B poking my belly button then just smacking it. I kept saying gentle, but she did not seem to get the message… In the end I had to stop filming and stop her.

#SometimesIForgetHowYoungSheIs

Sometimes she seems older. Sometimes she looks so tall, sometimes she doesn’t. It’s weird.

#IAmGettingQuiteExcitedAtTheThoughtOfMeetingBabyX

I lay in bed yesterday just feeling quite emotional. I also just couldn’t wait for B to wake up from her nap so I could cuddle her, but I was relieved that she had the best nap that she had had in ages.

#ICanNotWaitToSeeHowBReactsWhenTheyMeetForTheFirstTime

I hope it goes well. B does seem to like babies, but she might be like ‘okay, when is this baby going back to its home?’

#IAmStillScepticalAboutItBeingAGirlSoWeShallHaveToWaitAndSee

I want to know if it’s actually a girl or not.

#INeedToWriteABirthPreferencesDocument

I’m just going to keep it simple.

#IHopeICanHaveAWaterBirthThisTimeButIKnowINeedToKeepMyExpectationsLow

It’s best not to get too attached to ideas/visions about how the birth will be, as with B it all went out the window.

#BIsGrowingUpMoreEachDay

She seems to change so much day to day.

#SheWasBeingQuietTheOtherDayAndIFoundHerJustLookingAtOneOfMyNansCatalogues

My Nan gets a lot of catalogues in the post and B loves to go through her post. She also loves to go through my Nan’s bags after she’s been shopping.

#SheDoesItQuiteALotWhichMakesMeLaugh

She is funny.

#WeBoughtHerATunnelAndYesterdaySheWasSatInItReadingOneOfThem

Cute. She liked going through the tunnels at a class we no longer go to, so it seemed like a nice idea to get her one.

#InTheBathSheKeptPuttingHerHandsUpToThePumpOfHerBodyWashAndThenRubbingHerHands

It was like her copying us using sanitiser. She’s so observant.

#SheHasNotBeenEatingMuchOfHerOwnBreakfastLatelyButThenSheHappilyTakesTheScrambledEggThatMyNanLeavesOnHerPlateForHer

I ask my Nan if she wants scrambled egg on toast. She always says ‘yes please, and B can have some’

#SheWillJustPickAtItAllMorningAndStealMyCrusts

If I gave her scrambled egg for breakfast, guaranteed she would not eat it. But then again she does just revisit the plate all morning.

#YesterdayIGaveMyNanHerBreakfastAndBWentToGetATrayForHerPlate

I thought my Nan didn’t need one, but B obviously thought otherwise. It was a cute moment. She’s very observant.

#SheHasANewThingWhereSheWillAcceptNothingLessThanABigPieceOfSomethingLikeHerGettingOffendedAtMeOfferingHerABitOfBananaRatherThanAWholeOne

Cue B walking around with a whole banana. I didn’t want her to eat the whole thing, so T took it off her, tore a bit off of it and gave that to her. B then just lay on the floor and was not happy. Fun times.

36 weeks pregnant with B comparison:

When I was thinking about how I am excited to meet Baby X yesterday, I was thinking about when I met B for the first time. Birth is a bizarre thing.

I am hoping this time that things will not be such a shock to the system – I know how to change nappies at least.

I had forgot about the one week in bed, one week on the sofa thing. I didn’t get out for a walk with B until 2 weeks-ish, so it makes sense. I guess it depends on how you feel. I felt sore…

I would say that I am quite active now too.

I am mainly nervous that there will not be enough staff that are Covid-free to have an okay birth experience. With B they gave me time (after I kept saying no to a c-section) to birth naturally, but will they have less patience this time (it’s also a different hospital).

We didn’t make it to Portugal until B was 14 months-ish old. B is still yet to meet one Aunt, Uncle and cousin.

I guess last time it was the summer, so the nights were shorter. I’m also more tired this time as I have B to look after so sleep hasn’t been so much of a problem. I do wear a mask when I have a nap though.

Naked self-portrait. I am stood straight on to the camera with my hands on my hips. I have put white boxes over my nipples and pubic area.
For All I Know This Could Be My Last Week Without The Responsibility Of A Small Human (36 weeks)
 
#RealisedThatIDidNotHaveAnyFullLengthShotsOfMePregnant
#TheyEitherStopBeforeMyKneesOrBeforeMyBoobs
#IWantedToGetAnotherNudeShotBeforeMyBumpDropsSoICanCompareBeforeAndAfter
#ItMightNotDropUntilJustBeforeBirthThoughOrIMightNotEvenNoticeIt
#SomeOfMyFriendsSaidTheirBumpDroppedWeeksAgo
#WeShallJustHaveToWaitAndSee
#ThisMorningWeWereThinkingAboutHowDifferentTheWorldIsGoingToBeForBaby
#HowMuchTechnologyAndThingsHaveChangedInOur30YearPlusLives
#ItIsKindOfScaryButKindOfExciting
#IAmInMyEarly30sButWithItNowBeingThe2020sItMeansIHaveBeenAliveDuring5DecadesWhichIsAWeirdThought
#IGuessItWillNotBeSoWeirdWhenIAmInMyLate30sButICanNotEvenImagineHowLifeWillBeThen
#IKeepReadingAbout1Year2Year5Year10YearPlansAndIAmNoGoodAtThatKindOfStuff
#IJustWantToKeepMakingMyWorkAndHopefullyActuallyStartMakingMoreOfALivingFromIt
#IAmHopingThatHavingABabyMightMakeMeMoreProactiveOrMoreConfident
#IStillFindItWeirdCallingMyselfAnArtist
#IGetImposterSyndromeAllTheTime
#IShouldNotPutTooManyExpectationsOnWhatHavingABabyMightDoForMe
#InTermsOfMakingMeMoreConfidentMoreEfficientMoreOrganisedEtc
#ILikeToThinkIAmAlreadyOrganisedButIFaffALot
#YesterdayIActuallyAllowedMyselfToRelaxABit
#ForAllIKnowThisCouldBeMyLastWeekWithoutTheResponsibilityOfASmallHuman
#WhichIsSuchAWeirdThought
#ICanSeeAndFeelItMovingAboutNow
#IAmTryingToImagineItsFace
#IFindItDifficultTo
#IThinkTiagoWantsItToLookMoreLikeMeAndPullTheFunnyFacesThatIPullInMyChildhoodPicturesAndStillPullNow
#WhereasIWantItToLookMoreLikeHim
#ButReallyIHopeItIsAFunMixOfTheTwoOfUsWithHisBetterPersonalityQualities
#OnlyTimeWillTellButIDoNotWantTimeToPassTooQuickly
#ThisPregnancyHasMadeMeRealiseHowQuicklyLifeGoesByEvenDuringTheSlowishPacedTimeOfAPandemic

I was really not expecting it to be, but actually it was! B came at 37+5, so it was my last full week without a lot of responsibility.

I’m still no good at plans. This year, I just want to keep making work, and move. Then once we move I need to figure out a lot of things. I’m excited though.

I think having a child has given me more confidence in some ways. I like to think I am more efficient and organised too. I don’t have much time to faff. I love to do lists more than ever.

I’ve said it before – I want this baby to look a bit more like me, but I want B and baby X to look like siblings. We’ll have to wait and see – and B’s face just keeps changing.


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Categories
Oh Me, Oh Mãe

I Don’t Like Wearing White (13th August 2020)

There are some photos from the shoot where I actually think I look alright, but of course I had to weird it up and then choose one of those…

I Don’t Like Wearing White (13th August 2020)
 
#WellThisWasNotWhatIHadInMindForMyShoot
#IPlannedToPhotographMyCannulaScar
#ButITookATestShotAndGotMoreOfMyselfInThanIWanted
#AndIQuiteLikedHowItLooked
#MyWhiteNursingBraAgainstTheWhiteWallAndAll
#IDidNotPlanToBuyWhiteBras
#IHaveACoupleInBlackAndIWantedAMoreButTheyHadSoldOut
#TheyAreComfortableSoIJustThoughtScrewItAndBoughtThemAndThoughtMaybeIWillDyeThem
#IDoNotLikeWearingWhiteAsIAmQuiteMessy
#IDidNotEvenGetMarriedInWhite
#IDoNotWearWhiteVeryMuch
#SoGettingBabyClothesInWhiteWasABitScary
#ThoughAtTheMomentStainsAreComingOutQuiteEasilyButIHearThatIsNotTheCaseWhenWeaningStarts
#IGuessThisIsAlsoAPortraitOfMeAsTheMotherOfATwoMonthOld
#TimeFliesBySoQuickly
#ItIsSuperHotAtTheMomentHenceWhyIWasSatInMyUnderwearForTheTestShotThatLedToThisImage
#WeHaveSomeOfThoseMakeYourOwnIceLollyTubes
#ThereAreACoupleWhichHaveBreastMilkInAsWeThoughtItWouldBeASmartWayToFreezeItAsTheTubesAreReusable
#AndIHadMadeSomeCoconutWaterOnesAsWellAsSomeAppleJuiceAndOrangeAndGrapefruitJuiceOnes
#HoweverASmartThingToDoWouldHaveBeenToPutLabelsOnThem
#AsEarlierIThinkIHadSomeBreastMilkThinkingItMightBeCoconutWater
#ThoughTheBreastMilkTastedBetterThanTheCoconutWater
#IGuessItIsWeirdToBeWeirdedOutByDrinkingMyOwnMilkWhenMyBabyDrinksItAndItIsHomemade
#ToBeFairIFindItMoreFunnyThanAnythingElse
#AndIHaveHadABitOfMyMilkBefore
#WhenIAmLeakingAndItSeemsLikeLickingItOffMyFingerIsAQuickWayToGetRidOfIt
#ItTastesQuiteSweet
#TheseHashtagsEndedUpGoingSomewhereThatIDidNotThinkTheyWouldGo
#IThinkAnyoneWhoSaysTheyHaveNotTriedTheirOwnBreastmilkIsProbablyLyingAnyways
#BSeemsToLikeItSoItCanNotBeTooBad

#WellThisWasNotWhatIHadInMindForMyShoot
#IPlannedToPhotographMyCannulaScar
#ButITookATestShotAndGotMoreOfMyselfInThanIWanted
#AndIQuiteLikedHowItLooked

I probably have too many pictures of myself where I do this one arm over the head thing, but here you go. This wasn’t the test shot – the shoot developed into this. I don’t think it’s the first time I’ve done the arm over and pulled my cheek, but I think it might be the first time one has made it into a project.

I love creating more work for myself – more hashtags, editing and blog posts.

#MyWhiteNursingBraAgainstTheWhiteWallAndAll
#IDidNotPlanToBuyWhiteBras
#IHaveACoupleInBlackAndIWantedAMoreButTheyHadSoldOut
#TheyAreComfortableSoIJustThoughtScrewItAndBoughtThemAndThoughtMaybeIWillDyeThem

It looks like it was a good job that I bought them as I was going to link to the product page, but they don’t seem to sell them anymore.

I only wear the white ones when the black ones are in the wash/drying. At some point I might dye them navy so they go with the rest of my clothes. I have other ones where you unclip them to feed, but they’re a bit more faffy. With these ones you can just pull the material to the side to feed.

You can quite clearly see my breast pads too…

#IDoNotLikeWearingWhiteAsIAmQuiteMessy
#IDidNotEvenGetMarriedInWhite
#IDoNotWearWhiteVeryMuch

I got married in blue, but you probably could have guessed that. The dress I am wearing now has a tomato stain on it…

#SoGettingBabyClothesInWhiteWasABitScary
#ThoughAtTheMomentStainsAreComingOutQuiteEasilyButIHearThatIsNotTheCaseWhenWeaningStarts

I’ve changed in many ways since having a baby. One new thing for me is I now use fabric softener and I have stain remover. I do also have something for bleaching, but I haven’t used that yet.

#IGuessThisIsAlsoAPortraitOfMeAsTheMotherOfATwoMonthOld
#TimeFliesBySoQuickly

I can’t believe that she is already over 2 months old. I want her to grow up, but I also don’t want her too at the same time (I think I’ve posted about this before).

Today we put her in a door bouncer for the first time as her neck is strong enough and I remembered that our friends lent us one.

#ItIsSuperHotAtTheMomentHenceWhyIWasSatInMyUnderwearForTheTestShotThatLedToThisImage

I’ve said before with this project that I don’t want to change how I am dressed for photoshoots, but I also thought it didn’t matter as I was just planning to show my arm.

#WeHaveSomeOfThoseMakeYourOwnIceLollyTubes
#ThereAreACoupleWhichHaveBreastMilkInAsWeThoughtItWouldBeASmartWayToFreezeItAsTheTubesAreReusable
#AndIHadMadeSomeCoconutWaterOnesAsWellAsSomeAppleJuiceAndOrangeAndGrapefruitJuiceOnes
#HoweverASmartThingToDoWouldHaveBeenToPutLabelsOnThem
#AsEarlierIThinkIHadSomeBreastMilkThinkingItMightBeCoconutWater
#ThoughTheBreastMilkTastedBetterThanTheCoconutWater

I’ve been calling it ice lolly roulette. You are meant to put labels on them as it should be used up within 6 months, but she’s not 6 months yet so I know they’re fine. I actually might try to find one and defrost it for later.

#IGuessItIsWeirdToBeWeirdedOutByDrinkingMyOwnMilkWhenMyBabyDrinksItAndItIsHomemade
#ToBeFairIFindItMoreFunnyThanAnythingElse
#AndIHaveHadABitOfMyMilkBefore
#WhenIAmLeakingAndItSeemsLikeLickingItOffMyFingerIsAQuickWayToGetRidOfIt
#ItTastesQuiteSweet
#TheseHashtagsEndedUpGoingSomewhereThatIDidNotThinkTheyWouldGo
#IThinkAnyoneWhoSaysTheyHaveNotTriedTheirOwnBreastmilkIsProbablyLyingAnyways
#BSeemsToLikeItSoItCanNotBeTooBad

Yeah these hashtags definitely went somewhere unexpected. There was/is a restaurant in London that sold/sells breastmilk ice cream though.

I’ve seen some cute moulds to make breastmilk ice lollies, but I think B is a bit too young for them at the moment. Maybe next summer?


Thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying my blog (and/or the work I make) please consider supporting me by ‘buying me a coffee’ on Ko-fi – thanks!