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Oh Me, Oh Mãe II

First Family Portrait As A Family Of Four (25th / 27th February 2022)

Family portrait where T is sat on the floor cradling L, I am kneeling on the floor with B on my lap. B is kissing L's head.
First Family Portrait As A Family Of Four (25th / 27th February 2022)
 
#IAmWritingThisOnThe25thWithTheHopeThatWeWillDoAFamilyPortraitOverTheWeekend
#ICanNotBelieveThatLIsTwoWeeksOldAlreadyThoughItAlsoSeemsLikeSheIsALotOlder
#SheIsSoAlertAndIDefinitelyFeelALotMoreRelaxedWithHerThanIWasWithBAtThisPoint
#ThoughIAmStillYetToBatheHerByMyselfAndSheHasALotOfMilkSpotsAndDrySkin
#IFeelBetterThoughAsBreastfeedingIsGoingSoWellAndSoIDoNotHaveToFaffSoMuchThisTime
#WeHadToTakeHerOutToAnAppointmentToGetWeighedAndSheHadOnlyPutOn20gSoWeHadToGoBackTwoDaysLater
#ThatTimeSheHadPutOn60gAndWasOverHerBirthWeightSoWeHaveBothBeenDischarged
#AtThisPointBabiesAreSoSmallThatTheWeightDifferenceMightBeLargelyDownToWhetherOrNotTheyHaveBeenToTheToiletRecentlyThoughIThink
#IWasWorriedThatMaybeMyMilkWasNotGoodEnoughAndWeWouldHaveToSupplementSoItWasARelief
#BreastfeedingLHasMadeMeRealiseHowMuchGuiltIHaveOverFeedingB
#IThinkAsIStruggledSoMuchInTheBeginningItJustMadeMeWantToPumpAndIAskedTiagoToFeedHerALot
#ThisMeantIWasQuiteDistantFromBAndWhenIDidTryIHatedHowSoreMyNipplesWere
#IJustReallyDidNotEnjoyMyBreastfeedingExperienceWithHerThoughIWasSadWhenItEndedEarlierThanIHopedItWould
#ThenIFeltLikeIWasRemindedAboutMyQuoteFailureUnquoteConstantlyOnSocialMedia
#OfCourseIKnowThatWritingLikeThisMightMakeOthersFeelBadAndEvenSayingThatBreastfeedingIsGoingBetterThisTimeMightBeHardForOthersToHear
#LHasPositionalTalipesSoIAmHavingToMassageTheInsidesOfHerFeet
#TheLastCoupleOfDaysIHaveManagedToTakeThemOutByMyselfWhichHasGreatlyImprovedMyMood
#WeBoughtAPushchairThatCouldExpandToHoldTwoKidsNotKnowingIfWeWouldHaveTwoKidsButObviouslyHopingSo
#ItIsABitOfATankToPushButBSeemsToLikeHerNewSeatAndIsOkayAtBeingPutInItRatherThanRunningAround
#TheMoreTiredIAmAndMoreStuckAtHomeIFeelTheMoreEmotionalIAmSoIAmTryingToHelpMyselfBeTheBestVersionOfMyself
#IHadAGoodCryWhenTiagoWentBackToWorkAndIWasTryingToFigureOutHowToLookAfterBothOfThemByMyselfAsNapTimeApproached
#IFeelLikeINeedToNotOverDoThingsThoughAsOtherwiseIGetQuiteAchyAndINeedToNotDoSomeHeavyLiftingForAWhile
#ThatIsHardAsBFeelsReallyHeavyToMeNowButINeedToLimitHowOftenIPickHerUp
#LuckilySheIsMoreOfADaddysGirlAndDoesNotMindMeHoldingLAllTheTime
#UnfortunatelyItIsToughForTiagoWhenHeWantsToHoldLForABitAsBThenWantsToBeHeldToo
#SheDoesSoonSeemToGetOverItButWeJustNeedToKeepAnEyeOnBothOfThem
#BIsInAThrowingStageStillAndThrewMyShoeAtLWhichIsNotGood
#ICanUnderstandThatSheMustBeGettingSoFrustratedAtNotBeingAbleToExpressHerselfProperly
#IAmGoingToSignLUpForAClassToGoToWhileBIsAtNurseryJustToGetOutOfTheHouse
#CovidRulesAreLessStrictOrPrettyMuchNonExistentButIStillFeelCautious

#IAmWritingThisOnThe25thWithTheHopeThatWeWillDoAFamilyPortraitOverTheWeekend

I think it will be chaotic, but it will be nice to have a record of our early days together. (Well, we managed it a couple of days later. I was dreading it all day, but it actually went quite well. Phew!)

#ICanNotBelieveThatLIsTwoWeeksOldAlreadyThoughItAlsoSeemsLikeSheIsALotOlder

I went from feeling so unprepared to just getting on with it.

#SheIsSoAlertAndIDefinitelyFeelALotMoreRelaxedWithHerThanIWasWithBAtThisPoint

I guess I knew how to look after a newborn, but it does feel like a long time since B was so small (and she was smaller as she was 6 pounds 4 when born and L was 9 pounds 9).

#ThoughIAmStillYetToBatheHerByMyselfAndSheHasALotOfMilkSpotsAndDrySkin

At least her neck is stronger, but I do not enjoy the early days of cleaning and changing – she feels so fragile.

#IFeelBetterThoughAsBreastfeedingIsGoingSoWellAndSoIDoNotHaveToFaffSoMuchThisTime

I’ve pumped (well more massaged) a couple of times, though not in a week, but I hope I will not have to do much of it. I just get worried about getting mastitis, but now I know that if she does not have it all now she might have it at the next feed.

#WeHadToTakeHerOutToAnAppointmentToGetWeighedAndSheHadOnlyPutOn20gSoWeHadToGoBackTwoDaysLater

Getting a newborn ready for appointments is a stress. Luckily B had nursery during the appointments.

#ThatTimeSheHadPutOn60gAndWasOverHerBirthWeightSoWeHaveBothBeenDischarged

Hurrah.

#AtThisPointBabiesAreSoSmallThatTheWeightDifferenceMightBeLargelyDownToWhetherOrNotTheyHaveBeenToTheToiletRecentlyThoughIThink

The second time we were late as she was hungry and I thought it might make the difference between her being over or under. We arrived and they were running late anyways, so had to wait for a while. Tiago just waited in the car and worked both times.

#IWasWorriedThatMaybeMyMilkWasNotGoodEnoughAndWeWouldHaveToSupplementSoItWasARelief

I think she just burns it off quickly as she is so alert and often does not sleep for two hours.

#BreastfeedingLHasMadeMeRealiseHowMuchGuiltIHaveOverFeedingB #IThinkAsIStruggledSoMuchInTheBeginningItJustMadeMeWantToPumpAndIAskedTiagoToFeedHerALot #ThisMeantIWasQuiteDistantFromBAndWhenIDidTryIHatedHowSoreMyNipplesWere #IJustReallyDidNotEnjoyMyBreastfeedingExperienceWithHerThoughIWasSadWhenItEndedEarlierThanIHopedItWould

I think I purposely made myself distant from B as I felt so bad about breastfeeding. I was also not letting Tiago get the sleep he needed, so I think it is much better this time around.

#ThenIFeltLikeIWasRemindedAboutMyQuoteFailureUnquoteConstantlyOnSocialMedia

I follow a lot of mothering/parenting accounts and so I felt like I was just constantly reminded of what a rubbish job I was doing.

My nipples have been sore this time, but as I could not feed her with nipple shields I just had to persevere and it’s alright. I still need to correct her latch at times.

#OfCourseIKnowThatWritingLikeThisMightMakeOthersFeelBadAndEvenSayingThatBreastfeedingIsGoingBetterThisTimeMightBeHardForOthersToHear

This post isn’t to make others feel bad, I just want to say how I feel and how I felt.

#LHasPositionalTalipesSoIAmHavingToMassageTheInsidesOfHerFeet

B had some form of talipes – I just searched on my blog and she also had positional talipes, though I never got told to do the massage with her. B had to wear double nappies for a bit due to clicky hips.

#TheLastCoupleOfDaysIHaveManagedToTakeThemOutByMyselfWhichHasGreatlyImprovedMyMood

Feeling like I’m not just stuck in the house makes a big difference – and preparing to leave the house takes up a lot of time which helps to pass time.

#WeBoughtAPushchairThatCouldExpandToHoldTwoKidsNotKnowingIfWeWouldHaveTwoKidsButObviouslyHopingSo

So it’s worked out well.

#ItIsABitOfATankToPushButBSeemsToLikeHerNewSeatAndIsOkayAtBeingPutInItRatherThanRunningAround

Before I’d let her walk a bit or walk all the way to the playground. Maybe I will again at some point but for now it is better if she sits in her seat. This seat is better as she can not wriggle down and escape like she could in her old one – where she used to sit is now the bassinet with L.

#TheMoreTiredIAmAndMoreStuckAtHomeIFeelTheMoreEmotionalIAmSoIAmTryingToHelpMyselfBeTheBestVersionOfMyself

I think I will have a lie down after this if L isn’t awake by then.

#IHadAGoodCryWhenTiagoWentBackToWorkAndIWasTryingToFigureOutHowToLookAfterBothOfThemByMyselfAsNapTimeApproached

My Mum had gone home and I suddenly felt overwhelmed. I felt better after the nap. The next time I let B eat lunch in the living room instead and it was a lot more relaxed.

#IFeelLikeINeedToNotOverDoThingsThoughAsOtherwiseIGetQuiteAchyAndINeedToNotDoSomeHeavyLiftingForAWhile

My body went through a lot carrying and pushing out a 9 pounds 9 baby so I definitely need to be kinder to myself.

#ThatIsHardAsBFeelsReallyHeavyToMeNowButINeedToLimitHowOftenIPickHerUp

Yesterday I picked her up a lot and then made dinner (enchiladas that I slaved over for ages and were quite disappointing). I need to make quicker meals and sit down more…

#LuckilySheIsMoreOfADaddysGirlAndDoesNotMindMeHoldingLAllTheTime

Phew – must be hard for people whose oldest is the opposite.

#UnfortunatelyItIsToughForTiagoWhenHeWantsToHoldLForABitAsBThenWantsToBeHeldToo

🙁

#SheDoesSoonSeemToGetOverItButWeJustNeedToKeepAnEyeOnBothOfThem

After a walk I will leave L in her bassinet to finish her nap and it seems like a safe place to leave her while I try to make dinner.

#BIsInAThrowingStageStillAndThrewMyShoeAtLWhichIsNotGood

She brought my shoes to me (without me asking) before we went for a walk. I thought she might throw one so I took it off her, turned around to do up the baby carrier and turned back to see my other shoe bouncing and L started to cry…

#ICanUnderstandThatSheMustBeGettingSoFrustratedAtNotBeingAbleToExpressHerselfProperly

Terrible twos are coming. I don’t think she’s terrible and I think she’s a good kid, but yeah the frustrations of not being able to communicate as you would like must be hard.

#IAmGoingToSignLUpForAClassToGoToWhileBIsAtNurseryJustToGetOutOfTheHouse

At this point the class is definitely more for me than for her. I’m sure she won’t mind.

#CovidRulesAreLessStrictOrPrettyMuchNonExistentButIStillFeelCautious

Luckily the teacher of the class I want to do still seems to want to keep precautions in place. Phew.


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