Categories
Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Failing To Imitate B Playing With Her Socks While B Tried To Make It Look Like She Took The Photo (26th May 2021)

Self-portrait in a dark pink jumper holding one sock against my head and one against my chin. The hand of my daughter appears from the bottom centre of the frame and she is holding a shutter release button.
Failing To Imitate B Playing With Her Socks While B Tried To Make It Look Like She Took The Photo (26th May 2021)
 
#WeKeepALotOfHerSocksInTheLivingRoomByHerJacketsSoThatWeCanPutThemOnBeforeGoingOut
#BHasANewishThingOfGettingThemAndJustPlayingWithThem
#SheMainlyWavesThemAroundButSometimesSheTriesToEatThem
#SomeGoodNewsIsThatIPassedMyDrivingTheoryTestThisWeek
#MyMumWatchedBWhileIWentIntoBirminghamCityCentre
#TheTrainWasBusierThanLastTimeAndSeeingOtherKidsBeingPushedAroundInPushchairsMadeMeMissB
#INeedToFindTheCourageToTakeHerThereSometimeButIFeelABitWorried
#IHaveNotTakenHerThatFarAwayFromHomeByMyselfBeforeButIShouldTryToDoItSoon
#InTwoWeeksTiagoWillHaveAWeekOffSoIAmLookingForwardToThat
#MaybeWeWillGoToBirminghamThenSoAtLeastItWillNotBeSoScaryAsTakingHerByMyself
#IWasSurprisedThatIPassedMyTestAsThereWereAFewThingsIKnewNothingAbout
#NowIJustNeedToFindADrivingInstructorAndGetDrivingWhichIAmExcitedForButAlsoNervousAbout
#IQuicklyWentToAGalleryAfterwardsWhichWasMyFirstVisitToOneSinceMovingToBirmingham
#IHadToGetBackHomeToTakeBToHerBabyClassSoItWasASuperSpeedyVisit
#TheNightBeforeMyTestBWasWakingUpEveryTwoHoursOrSoWhichSheNeverDoes
#IThinkSheIsTeethingAndSheIsNotVeryWell
#TheOtherMorningSheFellAsleepOnMyNanLessThanAnHourAfterSheHadWokenUpWhichSheRarelyDoes
#IAmFineAfterHavingAToothRemovedButNowTiagoHasAToothThatIsPlayingUp
#HeManagedToGetToTheDentistYesterdayAndTheyGaveHimSomePenicillin
#IfWeManageToMakeItToPortugalThisSummerThenTiagosDentistCousinWillSortHimOut
#WeManagedToGetToBsClassOnTimeAndAfterwardsIThoughtSheWouldNotNapOnTheWayHome
#IHadPutHerHoodUpAndAfter5MinutesICheckedOnHerAndItWasAllTheWayDownToHerMouthAndSheWasAsleep
#SheWasSleepingVeryHeavilyWhileIPushedHerAroundThenJustSatOnABench
#MyLegsWereLikeJellyAsIWasNotUsedToWalkingSoMuchInOneDay
#LastNightIWasLyingDownOnTheFloorAndBCameOver
#IThoughtWeWereGoingToHaveASweetMomentButSheStuckHerThumbUpMyNose
#ItWasFunnyButItDidHurtAndMyNoseBledABit
#NextWeekIsHalfTermWhichMeansHerClassesAndGroupsWillNotBeRunning
#TheWeatherIsGettingBetterAtLeastSoHopefullyWeCanJustSitInTheParkMore
#IAmYetToTryGoingToSoftPlayAgainButIShouldGiveTheOneWeHaveNotGoneToAChance

#WeKeepALotOfHerSocksInTheLivingRoomByHerJacketsSoThatWeCanPutThemOnBeforeGoingOut

It would probably make more sense to put them in her room by her changing mat, but they get washed and end up just hanging around there. Sorry Nan.

#BHasANewishThingOfGettingThemAndJustPlayingWithThem

Nice.

#SheMainlyWavesThemAroundButSometimesSheTriesToEatThem

She gets quite excited waving them about. I’m yet to do the shoot, but that’s what I imagine I’ll copy. Maybe capture some movement in an arty way?

(26th July: Nope, just me pressing them to my face while B messed about around me. The camera was taking pictures every couple of seconds – easier to do when you’re trying to hold a sock in each hand and have a young child moving about.)

#SomeGoodNewsIsThatIPassedMyDrivingTheoryTestThisWeek

Hurrahhhh. No more revising!

#MyMumWatchedBWhileIWentIntoBirminghamCityCentre

Thanks Mum.

#TheTrainWasBusierThanLastTimeAndSeeingOtherKidsBeingPushedAroundInPushchairsMadeMeMissB

It felt weird to be out without B again. As I’ve said before I always say that I want some time off mothering, but then I miss B.

#INeedToFindTheCourageToTakeHerThereSometimeButIFeelABitWorried

I think the main thing is finding somewhere nice where we can get lunch – any suggestions dear one reader? And then timing things well for her nap. Soon she will be dropping a nap though so then maybe it will be a good time for trips?

If we were in Liverpool still I would be taking her to all of the museums and the city centre as we were so close to them.

#IHaveNotTakenHerThatFarAwayFromHomeByMyselfBeforeButIShouldTryToDoItSoon

Yeah, I’m nervous. Would be great to take her there though.

#InTwoWeeksTiagoWillHaveAWeekOffSoIAmLookingForwardToThat

His first week off since the start of October. Of course I’m excited!

#MaybeWeWillGoToBirminghamThenSoAtLeastItWillNotBeSoScaryAsTakingHerByMyself

Maybe we’ll go to the Sea Life Centre and get lunch?

#IWasSurprisedThatIPassedMyTestAsThereWereAFewThingsIKnewNothingAbout

I should have revised level crossings more obviously. I can’t remember the last time I saw one – I used to love them when I was a kid. There was one close to where we’d stay on holiday and we’d often just park near it and wait for trains. We sound so cool…

#NowIJustNeedToFindADrivingInstructorAndGetDrivingWhichIAmExcitedForButAlsoNervousAbout

*Nervous laugh*. It’ll be alright. I just want to get on with it, but I know there is a massive backlog for tests. I need to have a few lessons with a teacher then Tiago said he can take me out in his car. I’m nervous about that too.

#IQuicklyWentToAGalleryAfterwardsWhichWasMyFirstVisitToOneSinceMovingToBirmingham

I was not sure if I would have time to even get there as it was far from the test centre, but I managed it. I ate a pasty (classic) on the walk there.

#IHadToGetBackHomeToTakeBToHerBabyClassSoItWasASuperSpeedyVisit

If it wasn’t for Covid I could have left it, but I had to book a ticket and I had made a donation so I did not want to not go.

#TheNightBeforeMyTestBWasWakingUpEveryTwoHoursOrSoWhichSheNeverDoes

Of course it started as I put my head down to sleep.

#IThinkSheIsTeethingAndSheIsNotVeryWell

🙁

#TheOtherMorningSheFellAsleepOnMyNanLessThanAnHourAfterSheHadWokenUpWhichSheRarelyDoes

My Nan also fell asleep so they both looked cute.

#IAmFineAfterHavingAToothRemovedButNowTiagoHasAToothThatIsPlayingUp

Great. Typically he lost a filling on it (I think it’s that one) before the pandemic, and after months of me badgering him to get it looked at he did and they said it was fine as it was not causing him pain, then bam.

#HeManagedToGetToTheDentistYesterdayAndTheyGaveHimSomePenicillin

Bless him.

#IfWeManageToMakeItToPortugalThisSummerThenTiagosDentistCousinWillSortHimOut

I think he needs quite a few things done and the dentist yesterday said he should be able to make it until then.

#WeManagedToGetToBsClassOnTimeAndAfterwardsIThoughtSheWouldNotNapOnTheWayHome

She is such a wriggler at that class. Yesterday she was stealing everyone’s leaves.

#IHadPutHerHoodUpAndAfter5MinutesICheckedOnHerAndItWasAllTheWayDownToHerMouthAndSheWasAsleep

I was hoping to get home and then we could both nap, but she was obviously tired from waking up loads the night before.

#SheWasSleepingVeryHeavilyWhileIPushedHerAroundThenJustSatOnABench

Bless her. I will have to remember the hood trick in future.

#MyLegsWereLikeJellyAsIWasNotUsedToWalkingSoMuchInOneDay

I was knackered. Probably all the studying has been tiring my brain out too so no wonder I have been quite tired.

#LastNightIWasLyingDownOnTheFloorAndBCameOver #IThoughtWeWereGoingToHaveASweetMomentButSheStuckHerThumbUpMyNose

Lol.

#ItWasFunnyButItDidHurtAndMyNoseBledABit

It still hurts a little bit now… Tiago was on the phone to his friend so they were both just laughing.

#NextWeekIsHalfTermWhichMeansHerClassesAndGroupsWillNotBeRunning

Great…

#TheWeatherIsGettingBetterAtLeastSoHopefullyWeCanJustSitInTheParkMore

I want to find her a trike or something that I can push her around on.

#IAmYetToTryGoingToSoftPlayAgainButIShouldGiveTheOneWeHaveNotGoneToAChance

I am a bit worried about it being as disappointing as the other one. I just need to make some friends who want to go to soft play and try having lunch at one of them, but we shall have to see.

(26th July: We’re still yet to go to one… Sorry B.)


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Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Imitating B When She Gets Shy (23rd May 2021)

Imitating B When She Gets Shy (23rd May 2021)
 
#AtLeastIThinkItIsWhenSheIsShyOrIsPerhapsPretendingToBe
#OftenSheWillCrawlTowardsSomeoneAndThenSuddenlyHideABit
#SometimesSomeoneWillComeRoundToVisitAndSheWillBeReallyUpsetAboutIt
#ButAfterAWhileSheGetsOverItAndTheyAreHerNewBestFriend
#ButAtClassesSheWillJustCrawlOffAndLeaveMeInFrontOfLotsOfPeople
#ThenSheMightGetCloseToSomeoneAndPutHerHeadDownButSometimesNot
#WeSawSomeFriendsYesterdayAndThereWereTimesWhenSheWasBeingShy
#WeGotThereAndDidNotRealiseThatSheMustBeHeavilyTeethingAsSheWasNotReallyBeingHerself
#AtOnePointSheWentToTiagoToBeComfortedAndThenFellAsleepInHisArms
#ICanNotRememberTheLastTimeSheJustRandomlyFellAsleepOnEitherOfUs
#IWasGettingQuiteWorriedButSheSeemsToBeOkay
#ItWasGreatToSeeSomeOldFriendsAndTheirBaby
#ToCatchUpAndHaveAChangeOfSceneryAndToHaveTheKindOfTimeWithPeopleThatIThoughtWeWouldHaveHadALotMoreOfByNow
#OnTheWayThereWeStoppedAtAPetrolStationAndIThinkSheThoughtWeWereThereAlreadyAndGotQuiteExcited
#ItWasOurLongestCarTripSinceWeMovedToBirminghamNearlySevenMonthsAgo
#ItIsWeirdThatSheHasNowLivedInBirminghamLongerThanSheLivedInLiverpool
#ITriedToGetUsOutEveryWeekDayLastWeek
#ForFridayIWasLookingAtAllTheDifferentOptionsButOneSoldOutAsIWasAboutToBook
#InTheEndIDecidedWeWouldGoSomewhereElseButItJustRainedAllDay
#AndAfterBGotUpFromHerFirstNapICouldNotBeBotheredToGoOutInTheRain
#SoWeJustStayedInAllDayButItWasNotSoBadAsWeHadBeenOutALotAllWeek
#IDefinitelyNeedToDoThingsOnAThursdayAsThatIsTheDayThatDragsTheMost
#ItIsAShameThatTheLibraryIsNotOpenEveryDayAsThatWouldBeAnEasyPlaceToGo
#IAmHavingPhasesOfLookingAtBAndGettingEmotional
#IAmRealisingHowLuckyIAmToHaveHerEvenThoughIStillFindItWeirdThatIAmAMother
#InTheCarYesterdayIWasJustWatchingHerSleepAndFeelingVeryGratefulToHaveHer
#ICanNotImagineMyLifeWithoutHerNowAndThingsAreBetterNowThatMoreThingsAreOpen
#IDoNotLikeHowThisProjectHasBeenAMassiveWhinefestButItHasBeenMyPlaceToVentAndFeelBetter
#IDoFeelLikeNewParentsHaveBeenForgottenABitInThisPandemic
#IAmAnnoyedThatItHasAllBeenATotalPostcodeLotteryWithHowMuchSupportYouDoAndDoNotGet

#AtLeastIThinkItIsWhenSheIsShyOrIsPerhapsPretendingToBe

Some evolutionary thing where she feels like she needs to hide? (Though everyone can see where she is.)

#OftenSheWillCrawlTowardsSomeoneAndThenSuddenlyHideABit

She’ll crawl in the direction of someone, then they’ll say hi and then she’ll hide.

#SometimesSomeoneWillComeRoundToVisitAndSheWillBeReallyUpsetAboutIt

I think it is because the house and the garden are her safe space.

#ButAfterAWhileSheGetsOverItAndTheyAreHerNewBestFriend

That’s nice to see.

#ButAtClassesSheWillJustCrawlOffAndLeaveMeInFrontOfLotsOfPeople

So she doesn’t seem that shy at times?

#ThenSheMightGetCloseToSomeoneAndPutHerHeadDownButSometimesNot

Because they say hello. I guess her confidence goes up and down, but mine does too so I can relate. I wish I could suddenly hide my face when I felt awkward.

#WeSawSomeFriendsYesterdayAndThereWereTimesWhenSheWasBeingShy

Hiding on the floor or hiding behind Tiago or me.

#WeGotThereAndDidNotRealiseThatSheMustBeHeavilyTeethingAsSheWasNotReallyBeingHerself

She hadn’t eaten much breakfast, she slept well in the car – though it looked like she kept having nightmares and would wake up crying at times?

#AtOnePointSheWentToTiagoToBeComfortedAndThenFellAsleepInHisArms

She was coming to us a lot to be comforted which is usually the sign that she is ill. I just went downstairs and she is having cuddles with my Nan, which she doesn’t really do unless she is not feeling great – she’ll have short cuddles, but long cuddles is an under the weather thing.

#ICanNotRememberTheLastTimeSheJustRandomlyFellAsleepOnEitherOfUs

Monthsss ago.

#IWasGettingQuiteWorriedButSheSeemsToBeOkay

She only has one tooth and she has been teething for 7 months. It looks like another one may be close…

#ItWasGreatToSeeSomeOldFriendsAndTheirBaby #ToCatchUpAndHaveAChangeOfSceneryAndToHaveTheKindOfTimeWithPeopleThatIThoughtWeWouldHaveHadALotMoreOfByNow

It was how I expected the last 11 months to be really. Seeing friends, hanging out etc.

We still need to make more local friends, but with old friends it is easy. They know you, you know them, I feel like I don’t talk about my art with new people as I feel like they just wouldn’t get it. Fun times.

#OnTheWayThereWeStoppedAtAPetrolStationAndIThinkSheThoughtWeWereThereAlreadyAndGotQuiteExcited

Or she might have been excited to see Tiago getting out of the car. She was looking at the pumps quite intrigued though.

#ItWasOurLongestCarTripSinceWeMovedToBirminghamNearlySevenMonthsAgo

I was nervous, but we timed the trip around her naps so she napped for longer than normal but she seemed tired at bedtime and slept through the night? Win. Might be because she is ill though, but I think the trip was probably a lot for her to take in so might have tired her out.

#ItIsWeirdThatSheHasNowLivedInBirminghamLongerThanSheLivedInLiverpool

She’s still Scouse though.

#ITriedToGetUsOutEveryWeekDayLastWeek

And not just to the park, somewhere more ‘substantial’. Soft play, classes, playgroups etc.

#ForFridayIWasLookingAtAllTheDifferentOptionsButOneSoldOutAsIWasAboutToBook

I didn’t really want to go back to the soft play place that week, but I thought the weather was a bit crummy so it was a safe bet.

#InTheEndIDecidedWeWouldGoSomewhereElseButItJustRainedAllDay

I was trying to find somewhere to take her for lunch, but there didn’t seem like any good options and I didn’t really want to take her by myself.

#AndAfterBGotUpFromHerFirstNapICouldNotBeBotheredToGoOutInTheRain

I just felt really tired and the idea of pushing her for 20+ minutes in the rain did not appeal.

#SoWeJustStayedInAllDayButItWasNotSoBadAsWeHadBeenOutALotAllWeek

I wanted to take her for a walk in the afternoon, but it just rained all day and I couldn’t be bothered. Sorry B.

#IDefinitelyNeedToDoThingsOnAThursdayAsThatIsTheDayThatDragsTheMost

Thursday is ‘we still have to get through Friday before it’s the weekend’. Friday is ‘countdown to the weekend when T is free.’

#ItIsAShameThatTheLibraryIsNotOpenEveryDayAsThatWouldBeAnEasyPlaceToGo

It seems to just be open on days when we do other things, not the days where I wonder where we should go. Fail.

#IAmHavingPhasesOfLookingAtBAndGettingEmotional

Heart emoji.

#IAmRealisingHowLuckyIAmToHaveHerEvenThoughIStillFindItWeirdThatIAmAMother

It was funny to see our friends yesterday and comment about how we are all parents now.

#InTheCarYesterdayIWasJustWatchingHerSleepAndFeelingVeryGratefulToHaveHer

She is cool and I am looking forward to seeing her grow up. I feel bad that I have wished some of this time away but it has been hard.

#ICanNotImagineMyLifeWithoutHerNowAndThingsAreBetterNowThatMoreThingsAreOpen

I have just felt stuck for so long with not many options of what we can do to pass some time and make sure B gets proper stimulation.

#IDoNotLikeHowThisProjectHasBeenAMassiveWhinefestButItHasBeenMyPlaceToVentAndFeelBetter

I will forever feel awkward about it, but I have done my best during these weird times – and it’s not over yet.

#IDoFeelLikeNewParentsHaveBeenForgottenABitInThisPandemic #IAmAnnoyedThatItHasAllBeenATotalPostcodeLotteryWithHowMuchSupportYouDoAndDoNotGet

I guess it all depends on your support network, where you live, who you know etc. I am worried that we will have to go through a similar winter again, but at least B will be older and into more things. We shall have to see, but fingers crossed more things will be open for us this time.

I am excited for summer though. Roll on summer.


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Oh Me, Oh Mãe

B Has Only One Tooth And Today I Had One Pulled Out (12th May 2021)

Just realised that the title makes it sound like I had B’s tooth pulled out. Obviously it was one of mine…

Balancing my removed tooth on my thumb.
B Has Only One Tooth And Today I Had One Pulled Out (12th May 2021)
 
#WellThisWasNotWhatIWasPlanningToTalkOrShootAboutToday
#MyToothPainWentAwayForADayOrTwoAndThenItStartedUpAgainSoIThoughtIShouldCallTheDentistToday
#IWasSurprisedThatTheyWouldSeeMeSoSoon
#IWasTryingToWaitForMyDentalHygienistAppointmentButThenIRealisedThatTheyMightNotBeAbleToAdviseOnMyTooth
#TheySaidToCancelThatAppointmentButTheyDoNotHaveOtherSlotsUntilOctober
#MyTwoBackUpperRightTeethWereApparentlySuperCloseTogetherAndTheBackOneHadAFillingThatWasNearlyTouchingTheNerve
#HeTalkedAboutWideningTheGapButHeSeemedToBeSayingToJustGetRidOfTheTooth
#SoIDidAndIWorryThatIMaybeDidItPrematurelyButItIsTooLateNow
#TheFeelingOfHavingAToothYankedOutIsSoWeird
#LuckilyItOnlyTookAFewMinutesAndWasQuiteSimpleComparedToTheThirtyMinutesOrSoItTookToPullOutMyLastWisdomTooth
#TypicallyTheOnlySlotTheyHadCoincidedWithBsBabyClassSoIInitiallySaidIWouldCallAgainTomorrow
#ButThenISpokeToTiagoAndDecidedItWasBestToJustGoToday
#IWasLookingForwardToTakingBToAClassEspeciallyAsSheSeemedToEnjoyHerOtherClassThisWeek
#AllOfTheOtherBabiesWereJustChillingOnTheirMatsAndBWasJustConstantlyCrawlingAway
#IWouldGoToFetchHerAndASecondLaterSheWouldBeOffAgain
#TheTeacherSaidNotToWorryAndAgainWhenEveryoneWasQuietAndBWasScreaming
#SheHasANewHabitOfScreamingButIThinkItIsWhenSheIsExcited
#EarlierSheWasJustStoodUpScreamingAtTheBuckleOfHerHighchair
#TheTeacherSaidThatWeShouldReadAtLeastFiveBooksADayToOurKids
#IUsedToDoThatAndThenIGotLazySoTodayIThinkIReadAboutEightBooksToHer
#SheUsuallyGetsBoredAfterAFewPagesButIKeepReadingAnyways
#WhenIPutHerToBedIWillSometimesLieDownOnHerMatNextToHerAndReadWhichSheSeemsToLike
#UntilSheGetsBoredAndCrawlsAwayOfCourse
#ThereWasAFunnyKidAtThePlaygroundTodayWhoKeptTellingMeThatHeWasABoyAndThatHeIsStrongBecauseHeEatsMightyFood
#IAskedHimWhatMightyFoodIsAndHeSaidPeasAndBroccoli
#ISaidThatBLikesThemButHeThenSaidThatHeDoesNotReallyLikeThem
#WeHaveBookedMostOfOurTripToSeeTiagosParentsAndYesItWillBeAFaffAndYesIHopeItGoesAhead
#ThereWasANewsReportEarlierAboutThePriceOfTestingAndThatSomePeopleHaveHadProblemsWithThemNotTurningUp
#FingersCrossedItWorksOutAsIAmFeelingABitBetterNowThatWeMightHaveSomethingToLookForwardTo
#ThereIsPlentyOfTimeForTravelToPortugalToBeDisallowedAndAllowedAgainSoWeWillHaveToSee

I am too tired to be writing this. I started it this morning, but then had a lot of work to do while dealing with tooth pain. Then I ummed and ahhed about doing it but here we are.

#WellThisWasNotWhatIWasPlanningToTalkOrShootAboutToday

I was thinking about imitating B sticking her tongue out, but that will have to be another time.

#MyToothPainWentAwayForADayOrTwoAndThenItStartedUpAgainSoIThoughtIShouldCallTheDentistToday

My tooth pain got replaced with toe pain, then I might have brushed the tooth too hard yesterday and it was back.

#IWasSurprisedThatTheyWouldSeeMeSoSoon

I guess just because I had to wait a while for an appointment, but this was an ’emergency appointment’ apparently.

#IWasTryingToWaitForMyDentalHygienistAppointmentButThenIRealisedThatTheyMightNotBeAbleToAdviseOnMyTooth

It seemed a bit dumb waiting for it though I had waited a week or so. Then I figured they’d be like ‘ask your dentist’. The dentist I saw before is on maternity leave now – that explains why she asked a lot of questions about pregnancy/B, perhaps?

#TheySaidToCancelThatAppointmentButTheyDoNotHaveOtherSlotsUntilOctober

It’s fine. My dentist told me to have it to see if cleaning would help sort out the tooth pain that I was having back then.

#MyTwoBackUpperRightTeethWereApparentlySuperCloseTogetherAndTheBackOneHadAFillingThatWasNearlyTouchingTheNerve

I knew the filling on that tooth was deep, and when we lived in London I’m sure the dentist said it would need to come out at some point probably.

#HeTalkedAboutWideningTheGapButHeSeemedToBeSayingToJustGetRidOfTheTooth

He said it wasn’t really doing much as there was no tooth completely underneath it to help me eat, and instead it was just getting pressed into by one that was slightly below it – and it hurt when that happened.

#SoIDidAndIWorryThatIMaybeDidItPrematurelyButItIsTooLateNow

The dentist from before said it would need to come out eventually, but that it was protecting the next tooth from more damage. The one today said he didn’t really think that was the case, but now I should be able to brush it better.

#TheFeelingOfHavingAToothYankedOutIsSoWeird

Just bizarre. I don’t like having a numb face either. I probably should have rested more afterwards but I came home and was singing to try to entertain B.

#LuckilyItOnlyTookAFewMinutesAndWasQuiteSimpleComparedToTheThirtyMinutesOrSoItTookToPullOutMyLastWisdomTooth

I guess I thought it all happened so fast as for that tooth I had to go to the hospital for it and let some students wreak havoc with it. When we visited Tiago’s parents a few+ years ago we both had a wisdom tooth taken out (weirdly it was the same tooth) and I sat and watched while his took a longgg time and they used every tool from the tray – mine took five minutes.

#TypicallyTheOnlySlotTheyHadCoincidedWithBsBabyClassSoIInitiallySaidIWouldCallAgainTomorrow #ButThenISpokeToTiagoAndDecidedItWasBestToJustGoToday

It’s the first class we had missed and I felt bad for B. Obviously she has no clue that she has missed it.

#IWasLookingForwardToTakingBToAClassEspeciallyAsSheSeemedToEnjoyHerOtherClassThisWeek

It was meant to be the highlight of the day and I was looking forward to going. Oh well.

#AllOfTheOtherBabiesWereJustChillingOnTheirMatsAndBWasJustConstantlyCrawlingAway

Did I feel like I was being judged? A bit. Were they? Probably not. Tiago said they were probably jealous that their babies weren’t doing much. Doubt it.

#IWouldGoToFetchHerAndASecondLaterSheWouldBeOffAgain

I would initially let her be and see what she was doing, but she only came back once when I asked her to and the rest of the time she was just going super close to the teacher. At the end I think she was worried about the teacher’s baby that had been left alone on her mat – but was a doll.

#TheTeacherSaidNotToWorryAndAgainWhenEveryoneWasQuietAndBWasScreaming

‘Don’t worry it’s all fine’ while I was like ‘B why do you have to keep doing this’. At least with the mask I get to hide a bit…

#SheHasANewHabitOfScreamingButIThinkItIsWhenSheIsExcited #EarlierSheWasJustStoodUpScreamingAtTheBuckleOfHerHighchair

My Nan called from the other room ‘B do you not like your dinner?’

She had already eaten it and was just standing there screaming while I was on my hands and knees cleaning up a lot of dinner that had been thrown on the floor. She did like it though.

#TheTeacherSaidThatWeShouldReadAtLeastFiveBooksADayToOurKids #IUsedToDoThatAndThenIGotLazySoTodayIThinkIReadAboutEightBooksToHer

Today I was reading her The Very Hungry Caterpillar and mentioned about his tooth ache rather than stomach ache…

#SheUsuallyGetsBoredAfterAFewPagesButIKeepReadingAnyways

IT’S FINE YOU JUST GO OVER THERE AND I’LL READ LOUD ENOUGH SO YOU CAN HEAR ME.

#WhenIPutHerToBedIWillSometimesLieDownOnHerMatNextToHerAndReadWhichSheSeemsToLike

I think I’ve mentioned it before. She does a little smile when I lie next to her and sometimes she touches my face in a cute way.

#UntilSheGetsBoredAndCrawlsAwayOfCourse

Obviously.

#ThereWasAFunnyKidAtThePlaygroundTodayWhoKeptTellingMeThatHeWasABoyAndThatHeIsStrongBecauseHeEatsMightyFood

I think he kept mentioning that he’s a boy as he has very long hair and he is probably fed up of being mistaken for a girl. His hair is lovely.

#IAskedHimWhatMightyFoodIsAndHeSaidPeasAndBroccoli

Well at least I am getting better at talking to kids.

#ISaidThatBLikesThemButHeThenSaidThatHeDoesNotReallyLikeThem

I didn’t bother asking him how he is so strong then. I did laugh to myself when he showed me his bicep when he said strong.

#WeHaveBookedMostOfOurTripToSeeTiagosParentsAndYesItWillBeAFaffAndYesIHopeItGoesAhead

I am stressed thinking about it. If it was one flight each way then it would be less stressful, but whatever. I was going to apologise about being so privileged and whiney in my last post about potentially going away, but I am stressed about it.

#ThereWasANewsReportEarlierAboutThePriceOfTestingAndThatSomePeopleHaveHadProblemsWithThemNotTurningUp

And it’s money. But luckily we’re not a family of four and maybe B won’t need to get tested? Can you imagine me shoving a test up B’s nose and in her mouth? I guess it might happen.

#FingersCrossedItWorksOutAsIAmFeelingABitBetterNowThatWeMightHaveSomethingToLookForwardTo

Just having something to countdown to is something.

#ThereIsPlentyOfTimeForTravelToPortugalToBeDisallowedAndAllowedAgainSoWeWillHaveToSee

Fingers crossed. The rules might be completely different by the time we go.

Love when you get to the end and you realise you’ve missed out lots of things in the hashtags. I was meant to talk about how you can’t just chill and have toothache when you’ve got a baby, which might have led to the decision to get it removed earlier rather than later.

Also the dentist said ‘you don’t want to keep this do you?’ about my tooth and of course I said ‘I’LL HAVE IT’. They probably thought I was weird but oh well. I tried to make light conversation and I got a couple of laughs out of them, but I was probably just annoying. Oh well. Tomorrow is a new day and hopefully I can eat better soon 🙂


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Categories
Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Imitating B Sucking Her Thumb (9th May 2021)

Imitating B Sucking Her Thumb (9th May 2021)
 
#WellMaybeSheIsSuckingHerThumbOrMaybeSheIsJustTeething
#TheTeethingSeemsLikeItWillNeverEndAndSheStillOnlyHasOneTooth
#IHaveJustNoticedHerSuckingHerThumbAndFlappingHerHandAroundInTheLastWeek
#SheHasBeenWakingUpBefore6LatelySoWeNeedToSeeWhatWeCanDoToPushHerWakeupTimeBack
#IJustSeemSuperTiredAtTheMomentAndMyTeethAreStillHurtingALot
#IbruprofenSeemsToTakeTheEdgeOffOfItButIThinkOneOfMyTeethNeedsToComeOut
#TiagoSaidIfIGetItOutThenEventuallyTheNextOneWillNeedToComeOutAndSoOnAndHowWillIEatWithNoTeeth
#IPointedOutThatBHasBeenDoingPrettyWellWithHerGumsForALongTime
#ItRainedAllDayYesterdayButIDidNotCareSoMuchAsItIsTheWeekend
#WeStillWentOutForAWalkAnywaysAndItWasQuiteNice
#PortugalIsCurrentlyOnTheGreenTravelListSoWeAreLookingAtBookingATrip
#ICanNotBelieveThatBIsNearlyAYearOldAndSheHasNotMetHerPortugueseGrandparentsYet
#WeJustHaveToHopeThatThingsDoNotGetWorseAndThatWeWillNotHaveToQuarantineInAHotel
#TheTripIsFaffyEnoughAsItIsLetAloneWithTravellingWithABabyWithCovidRestrictions
#ItIsAMinimumOfTwoFlightsToGetToHisHomeIslandSoItIsLookingForTripsThatDoNotHaveMegaLayovers
#MostOfTheFlightsAreEitherSuperEarlyInTheMorningOrTheyArriveBackLateAtNight
#WhichWouldNotBeSoBadIfTheyWereFromBirminghamButWeWillHaveToTravelToManchesterOrLondon
#AndItProbablyWillBeLondonAsTheyHaveFlightsThatLeaveAndArriveAtOkayishTimes
#IAmAlreadyFeelingStressedAboutHavingToGetToAndFromTheAirports
#PlusSortingOutTestingAndDealingWithDifferentAirlinesAndLuggage
#IShouldNotComplainAsIKnowWeAreLuckyToBeAbleToGoAway
#IfItWasNotForSeeingHisFamilyAndGoingToAWeddingAndHavingToSortOutThingsThereWeWouldJustLeaveItThough
#OrIGuessWeWouldHaveMaybeTriedALocationThatWasALotEasierToGetTo
#WeAlsoNeedToSortOutCotsAndCarSeatsAndHighchairsAndThingsSoThatIsMoreFunToLookAt
#IJustWantToSwimInTheSeaAndHaveAChangeOfScenery
#IDidNotBotherGoingToMyParentsHouseTheOtherDayAsICouldNotBeBotheredToPackUpAllOfBsThings
#ByTheTimeIHadFinishingVentingInMyPostAndBlogIFeltMuchBetter
#MyMumSaysSheIsSurprisedThatWeAllHaveNotArguedALotMoreThanWeHave
#ItIsNiceSeeingMyNanEveryDayAndIFeelGuiltyThatWeAreGoingAwayButItWillBeGoodForUsAll
#IJustHopeThatWeWillNotHaveToCancelOurTripAfterAllOfThisPlanningButLetsSee

#WellMaybeSheIsSuckingHerThumbOrMaybeSheIsJustTeething

I do not know for sure.

#TheTeethingSeemsLikeItWillNeverEndAndSheStillOnlyHasOneTooth

At this rate, this is going to go on for yearssss, then she will start losing baby teeth… Remembering the days of making my a loose tooth move with my tongue, and then feeling the empty space. Fun times.

#IHaveJustNoticedHerSuckingHerThumbAndFlappingHerHandAroundInTheLastWeek

I was going to write in these hashtags about being a fan of sucking my thumb until I was probably way too old for it, but I forgot. Well, now you know – all two of you who read this.

#SheHasBeenWakingUpBefore6LatelySoWeNeedToSeeWhatWeCanDoToPushHerWakeupTimeBack

We are not morning people B. I was reading a twitter thread the other day and someone’s advice for future parents was to meet someone who is the opposite to you – a night owl if you’re an early bird and vice versa. Tiago is better than me in the mornings, and I am more of an evening person, but we still like to sleep.

#IJustSeemSuperTiredAtTheMomentAndMyTeethAreStillHurtingALot

I could just lie in bed all day. Today I got up at 6.20am though, and did some cooking. Now B’s gone to bed I just want to get stuff done so I can have a little lie down, if she does not wake up before then.

#IbruprofenSeemsToTakeTheEdgeOffOfItButIThinkOneOfMyTeethNeedsToComeOut

I have an appointment at the dentist this week, though it’s just for a clean. My dentist said to have them cleaned and see if that helps with any pain. I’m guessing it won’t, but I’ll mention the pain to them when I’m there. It’s probably too late to get my tooth removed on my maternity exemption as that is due to expire in a month.

#TiagoSaidIfIGetItOutThenEventuallyTheNextOneWillNeedToComeOutAndSoOnAndHowWillIEatWithNoTeeth

I think four different teeth have been playing up this week, but the back one really has been and I know that one has a really deep filling. My dentist said it is protecting the next tooth along though, so once it goes that one will be at risk and so on.

#IPointedOutThatBHasBeenDoingPrettyWellWithHerGumsForALongTime

She’s my inspiration.

#ItRainedAllDayYesterdayButIDidNotCareSoMuchAsItIsTheWeekend

I feel less stuck at home when Tiago is looking after B a bit and I can do other things.

#WeStillWentOutForAWalkAnywaysAndItWasQuiteNice

The air was fresh and the paths were pretty empty. We did see a few border collies though…

#PortugalIsCurrentlyOnTheGreenTravelListSoWeAreLookingAtBookingATrip

Everyone has been messaging me to say have I seen it. Now we need to try to book a trip before everyone else does.

#ICanNotBelieveThatBIsNearlyAYearOldAndSheHasNotMetHerPortugueseGrandparentsYet

I wonder if she will recognise them from all the video calls. I know she will be a bit weird with them at first though.

#WeJustHaveToHopeThatThingsDoNotGetWorseAndThatWeWillNotHaveToQuarantineInAHotel

For the price of quarantining in a hotel we could just do the most epic UK trip instead. Fingers crossed that we don’t have to.

(21st June: Portugal is currently on the amber list. If it goes to red then we will cancel our trip – when I wrote this I didn’t realise how expensive hotel quarantines are.)

#TheTripIsFaffyEnoughAsItIsLetAloneWithTravellingWithABabyWithCovidRestrictions

I didn’t look forward to the travelling pre-baby.

#ItIsAMinimumOfTwoFlightsToGetToHisHomeIslandSoItIsLookingForTripsThatDoNotHaveMegaLayovers

I’m usually the one who organises our trips and does the research and at the moment I feel like a full-time travel agent.

#MostOfTheFlightsAreEitherSuperEarlyInTheMorningOrTheyArriveBackLateAtNight

Great with a baby. We once ‘slept’ on the floor at Heathrow to avoid paying for a hotel when we had a 6am flight (I didn’t sleep). B would be fine in her pushchair to be fair, but it’d be a longggg day.

#WhichWouldNotBeSoBadIfTheyWereFromBirminghamButWeWillHaveToTravelToManchesterOrLondon

Great.

#AndItProbablyWillBeLondonAsTheyHaveFlightsThatLeaveAndArriveAtOkayishTimes

It’s a ridiculous amount of money to put our car in the car park (let me know if you have any hints/tips) and we will have to fly in and out of different London airports by the look of it.

(21st June: Yeah we’re flying in and out of different airports.)

#IAmAlreadyFeelingStressedAboutHavingToGetToAndFromTheAirports

We are probably just going to have to get a super early train to London, so that we are not stressed about missing our flight. That’s not too bad as we are usually up early anyways (typically that would be the day that B would sleep in).

#PlusSortingOutTestingAndDealingWithDifferentAirlinesAndLuggage

And trying not to catch Covid in the run up to the holiday – though we’ve done well so far, but knowing our luck…

#IShouldNotComplainAsIKnowWeAreLuckyToBeAbleToGoAway

I’m sure a lot of people reading this will just be like ‘really you’re whining about all this?’ I think this is probably the opinion about most of my project though.

#IfItWasNotForSeeingHisFamilyAndGoingToAWeddingAndHavingToSortOutThingsThereWeWouldJustLeaveItThough

It’ll be nice when we’re there, but it is stress that we could do without. My tooth suddenly just started hurting again really bad, maybe it’s stress related?

#OrIGuessWeWouldHaveMaybeTriedALocationThatWasALotEasierToGetTo

Well someone that only needed one flight from Birmingham would be a lot better, but in reality I think we would just visit a lot of people in the UK instead.

#WeAlsoNeedToSortOutCotsAndCarSeatsAndHighchairsAndThingsSoThatIsMoreFunToLookAt

Travel highchair? Travel cot? Rent a car seat? Might just have to see if we can borrow these things from someone.

#IJustWantToSwimInTheSeaAndHaveAChangeOfScenery

It would be amazing. It will be amazing. Fingers crossed.

#IDidNotBotherGoingToMyParentsHouseTheOtherDayAsICouldNotBeBotheredToPackUpAllOfBsThings

Lol. You can see why I am struggling with the idea of packing for a holiday.

#ByTheTimeIHadFinishingVentingInMyPostAndBlogIFeltMuchBetter

And then felt super awkward. Classic me.

#MyMumSaysSheIsSurprisedThatWeAllHaveNotArguedALotMoreThanWeHave

For the record Tiago and my Nan never argue. Tiago is super patient with her and I need to be more like Tiago.

#ItIsNiceSeeingMyNanEveryDayAndIFeelGuiltyThatWeAreGoingAwayButItWillBeGoodForUsAll

We haven’t had time to ourselves since October. We will hopefully have a few days to ourselves as a family before going to stay with Tiago’s family.

#IJustHopeThatWeWillNotHaveToCancelOurTripAfterAllOfThisPlanningButLetsSee

It is what it is. We have to take the risk as it’s easier for us to go and see Tiago’s parents than for them to come here, and we have one of Tiago’s best friend’s wedding to go to. I hope it all works out.


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Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Imitating B Chewing On A Wet Flannel (28th April 2021)

Me with my hair up, holding a light blue flannel in both hands and putting part of it in my mouth. I am wearing a grey dress with black polka dots and am sat against a plain wall.
Imitating B Chewing On A Wet Flannel (28th April 2021)
 
#IAmSurprisedThatIsHasTakenMeThisLongToGetRoundToImitatingBChewingOnAWetFlannel
#AfterAMealIUsuallyWetAFlannelATryToWashHerFace
#HoweverSheJustWantsToChewOnItAsIGuessItMustFeelNiceForHerEverTeethingGums
#IBetWhenSheIsOlderBWillCallMeOutChoosingNotToShowHerFullFaceButDecidingToShareThingsLikeThis
#FairPlayFutureB
#SheHasStartedToSayGaGaMoreNow
#YesterdayWeGotSentAQuestionnaireToFillInAboutHerDevelopment
#AHealthVisitorWouldUsuallyVisitHerAround9To12MonthsToDoItButBecauseOfCovidTheyAreNotDoingItFaceToFace
#ThereAreQuestionsAboutCommunicationGrossMotorSkillsFineMotorSkillsProblemSolvingPersonalSkillsAndSocialSkills
#IThinkBNowDoesMostOfTheThingsThatItTalksAboutButIAmWorriedAboutFillingItInWrong
#ItIsShameThatSomeoneCanNotJustComeRoundAndDoItButIDoNotHaveAnyConcernsAboutHer
#LastWeekIWasWorriedThatSheWasTooHotInTheNightAndNowIThinkSheHasBeenTooCold
#SheWasAwakeForAnHourAndAHalfTheOtherNightButWentBackToSleepAfterIPutHerHeaterOn
#ItWasEitherThatThatFixedItOrItWasACoincidence
#IGotABitEmotionalYesterdaySeeingBHavingFunWithBabiesHerOwnAge
#WeHadAPicnicWithAMotherAndBabyFromOneOfHerClassesAndItWasReallyNice
#ThenSheWasJustCrawlingAroundAndInteractingWithBabiesInHerClass
#ThisIsHowItShouldHaveBeenTheWholeTimeSheHasBeenAliveButOhWell
#TheTeacherSaidThatTheyLearnTheConceptOfSharingAtFourWhichWeAllSighedAt
#ButReadingOnlineAnArticleSaysTheyReallyWantThingsToBeFairByTheTimeTheyAreSevenOrEight
#SoPlentyMoreYearsOfApologisingForBGrabbingToysAwayFromOtherKidsGreat
#MyAuntCameRoundToVisitUsAndBWasNotHappyAboutIt
#ThoughAgainAfterAWhileSheWasFineInHerCompanySoItIsGoodToKnowItIsJustAboutPerseverance
#IWasFeelingABitDownTheOtherDayAgainAndThenIRealisedThatTiagoHasNotHadAWeekOffSinceTheStartOfOctober
#NoWonderWeAreAllTired
#HeHasFinallyBookedAWeekOffInAMonthOrSoSoItIsNiceToHaveSomethingToCountDownTo
#INeedToWorkToBeMorePresentWhenIAmWithB
#ICompletedASurveyAboutSocialMediaTheOtherDayAndItAskedMeAboutMyMoodsWhenUsingIt
#IWasReallyNegativeAboutAllOfItSoINeedToUseItAndMyPhoneALotLess
#IWantToBeABetterMotherToBAndIWantToFeelHappier

#IAmSurprisedThatIsHasTakenMeThisLongToGetRoundToImitatingBChewingOnAWetFlannel

She has been doing it for a while.

#AfterAMealIUsuallyWetAFlannelATryToWashHerFace

Pretty standard.

#HoweverSheJustWantsToChewOnItAsIGuessItMustFeelNiceForHerEverTeethingGums

It makes sense. Yesterday she tried to teeth on my arm and it just hurt because of her one little sharp tooth.

#IBetWhenSheIsOlderBWillCallMeOutChoosingNotToShowHerFullFaceButDecidingToShareThingsLikeThis

Probably. I do wonder what she will think of this project, I do worry what she will think of this project. I hope she just finds it funny.

#FairPlayFutureB

I would say it’s your own fault for chewing on a flannel all the time, but you’ll probably just say ‘Mum, I was a baby I didn’t know any better!’

Fair play future B.

#SheHasStartedToSayGaGaMoreNow

Did I play Radio Ga Ga a few times this morning after B said it? Yes I did.

#YesterdayWeGotSentAQuestionnaireToFillInAboutHerDevelopment #AHealthVisitorWouldUsuallyVisitHerAround9To12MonthsToDoItButBecauseOfCovidTheyAreNotDoingItFaceToFace #ThereAreQuestionsAboutCommunicationGrossMotorSkillsFineMotorSkillsProblemSolvingPersonalSkillsAndSocialSkills #IThinkBNowDoesMostOfTheThingsThatItTalksAboutButIAmWorriedAboutFillingItInWrong

All the questions. It is a bit stressful. I started to do it, but I will wait until the weekend when Tiago is available to assess too.

#ItIsShameThatSomeoneCanNotJustComeRoundAndDoItButIDoNotHaveAnyConcernsAboutHer

It says if they don’t hear from us in 2 weeks then they will assume we have no worries.

(1st June: I didn’t bother finishing it in in the end as I was so pissed off that our friends in Liverpool have health visitors coming to them, and I don’t have any concerns about B’s development anyways.)

#LastWeekIWasWorriedThatSheWasTooHotInTheNightAndNowIThinkSheHasBeenTooCold

The joy never ends.

#SheWasAwakeForAnHourAndAHalfTheOtherNightButWentBackToSleepAfterIPutHerHeaterOn #ItWasEitherThatThatFixedItOrItWasACoincidence

We’d changed her nappy, given her paracetamol, given her water etc. Her room didn’t feel that cold, but it was 5am and we wanted to sleep so I thought it was worth a go.

#IGotABitEmotionalYesterdaySeeingBHavingFunWithBabiesHerOwnAge

I got a bit emotional writing this and thinking about it again.

#WeHadAPicnicWithAMotherAndBabyFromOneOfHerClassesAndItWasReallyNice

Just a normal thing that felt like a big deal.

#ThenSheWasJustCrawlingAroundAndInteractingWithBabiesInHerClass

I felt like we were sat in the cheeky corner as they were all just getting up to mischief. There are a lot of younger babies and B was looking at them, which was sweet.

#ThisIsHowItShouldHaveBeenTheWholeTimeSheHasBeenAliveButOhWell

I know a couple of them are starting nursery soon, so we’ll need to find some new friends in the class. People seem nice though so I’m sure it will be fine. The class is great and we all have a laugh which is really good.

#TheTeacherSaidThatTheyLearnTheConceptOfSharingAtFourWhichWeAllSighedAt

Sighed and groaned and lots of other negative reactions.

#ButReadingOnlineAnArticleSaysTheyReallyWantThingsToBeFairByTheTimeTheyAreSevenOrEight

I remember being about 6 in the playground and being like ‘Who wants to play Aladdin? I’ll be Jasmine.’ Someone would complain. ‘Okay, let’s play Beauty and the Beast. I’ll be Belle’. Then we moved and I became the shy kid.

#SoPlentyMoreYearsOfApologisingForBGrabbingToysAwayFromOtherKidsGreat

Luckily they don’t seem to mind about it so much yet.

#MyAuntCameRoundToVisitUsAndBWasNotHappyAboutIt

She was CRYING. Trying to look at her, then hiding and crying.

#ThoughAgainAfterAWhileSheWasFineInHerCompanySoItIsGoodToKnowItIsJustAboutPerseverance

It did take some time, but I guess she realises that we aren’t concerned and so feels fine. At classes she will go and sit next to someone else and forget about me, but I guess my Nan’s house and garden is her territory so she doesn’t like other people randomly coming along. Fair enough.

#IWasFeelingABitDownTheOtherDayAgainAndThenIRealisedThatTiagoHasNotHadAWeekOffSinceTheStartOfOctober #NoWonderWeAreAllTired

I can’t believe it’s been that long, but it does feel like forever ago.

#HeHasFinallyBookedAWeekOffInAMonthOrSoSoItIsNiceToHaveSomethingToCountDownTo

It’ll be nice to do some things as a family and B will be older so she will probably appreciate going to a farm or something. She does seem to like animals, but so do most kids her age I imagine.

#INeedToWorkToBeMorePresentWhenIAmWithB

I complain about being a bad mother, but I need to work on being better. It’s hard when I am tired, but I feel better when I feel like she is enjoying herself.

#ICompletedASurveyAboutSocialMediaTheOtherDayAndItAskedMeAboutMyMoodsWhenUsingIt #IWasReallyNegativeAboutAllOfItSoINeedToUseItAndMyPhoneALotLess

I had already decided that I was going to go on Instagram less and that just showed why I should go on it less. I really get little from it, which seems weird to say considering this whole project is built around the maximum number of hashtags that you can post on a post on Instagram.

#IWantToBeABetterMotherToBAndIWantToFeelHappier

I am tired and B will hopefully nap for another hour. I think I’m going to play a game of online Minesweeper then have a little rest and read a bit of the fourth Narnia book. I should probably just do the shoot now, but I might wait until B is having her second nap.

(1st June: I think B woke up 5 minutes after I finishing writing this, and I did the shoot during her second nap.)


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Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Imitating B’s Feet When She Holds Onto Furniture (11th April 2021)

Imitating B’s Feet When She Holds Onto Furniture (11th April 2021)

#IHaveSaidBeforeThatBIsAlwaysOnTheGoAndBangsHerHeadALot
#WellNowItIsEvenMoreSoThatMaybeWeShouldGetHerAHelmet
#ItIsWeirdThatWhenSheFallsAndMakesABigBangSheSeemsToCryLessThanWhenItBarelyMakesASound
#SheSeemsAbleToReachHerArmsFurtherAcrossTablesAndThingsNow
#SheLikesToReachForMyNansPapersAndChewOnThemOrRipThemUp
#WeHadToMoveNansOrnamentsOffHerRevolvingBookcaseAsBWasJustConstantlyTryingToPullThingsOff
#WeHaveReplacedThemWithBsBooksSoNowSheGetsDistractedByThemInstead
#ItIsNiceToHaveALittleLibraryThereThoughIAmGettingBoredOfReadingHerFavouritesOnRepeat
#SinceMyLastEntryIFeltMoreOptimisticAndLikeIWasGoingToStopWhiningAndBeMoreProactive
#WhichWasGreatForADayAndThenIFeltSuperDownAgain
#IMadeAPostInALocalGroupLookingForPlaymatesForBAndAskingAboutClassesAndThings
#ThePandemicHasBeenToughForEveryoneInDifferentWays
#AndIThinkItHasBeenATotalPostcodeLotteryWithWhatHasBeenGoingOnInLocalAreas
#TheGlimpseOfGoodWeatherMadeMeFeelGreatAsSittingOutsideMadeSuchAChangeToOurDay
#SoTheBadWeatherMadeMeFeelLockedInsideAgain
#YesterdayWeWentForAWalkInTheRainAsIFeltLikeINeededToGetOut
#HopefullyThingsCanOnlyGetBetterFromHereWithMoreThingsReopeningAndBetterWeatherOnTheHorizon
#IAmSureThatIWillSoonBeWhiningAboutHowIFeelLikeIDoNotFitInInLocalGroups
#ButTheChangeOfSceneryAndBreakInOurRoutinesWillBeReallyGoodForUs
#OrMeAnywaysAsBDoesNotReallyCareButIThinkSheWillLikeToSeeMoreYoungPeople
#IHaveMadeAnEffortToTryOutNewParksThisWeek
#TheOtherDayBWasSmilingAtAYoungGirlSoThatWasNice
#IThinkBMightHaveSeenATrainForTheFirstTimeTooWhichIsWeird
#SheDidNotSeemThatBotheredByItButSheDoesTakeNoteOfBusesThatIPointOut
#BIsStillTeethingALot
#ItHurtsWhenSheWantsToTeethOnMyFingerAndBitesItWithHerTooth
#ItStillLooksLikeItNeedsToComeOutOfHerGumsMore
#WeStartedToUseANewMoisturiserOnBsSkinAndItDoesNotSeemToBeGettingAnyWorse
#IFeelLikeIAmDefinitelyNotBeingTheBestMotherForBThatICouldBe
#INeedToJustDoBetterAndKeepTryingToMoveInAPositiveDirectionAndDoWhatIsBestForHer

#IHaveSaidBeforeThatBIsAlwaysOnTheGoAndBangsHerHeadALot

I am pretty sure I have anyways.

#WellNowItIsEvenMoreSoThatMaybeWeShouldGetHerAHelmet

We won’t. We just need to be more vigilant, but it’s hard to be on top form all day…

#ItIsWeirdThatWhenSheFallsAndMakesABigBangSheSeemsToCryLessThanWhenItBarelyMakesASound

Not always the case, but it happens enough for us to comment on it (and for me to hashtag about it).

#SheSeemsAbleToReachHerArmsFurtherAcrossTablesAndThingsNow

Probably with the help of always standing on her tiptoes, but she seemed to be doing that before she really knew what she was doing.

#SheLikesToReachForMyNansPapersAndChewOnThemOrRipThemUp

My Nan doesn’t really take them off her, so I can’t really blame B too much.

She has an obsession with grabbing my Nan’s heater (when it’s not on – it’s not on if she’s in the room). I tell her not to do it all the time. The other day she was just laughing at me for saying no.

#WeHadToMoveNansOrnamentsOffHerRevolvingBookcaseAsBWasJustConstantlyTryingToPullThingsOff

I feel like everything in the living room is constantly being moved around to avoid B’s grasp. My Nan likes to rearrange everything, but then B likes to get hold of them so it’s a constant game. Baby chess?

#WeHaveReplacedThemWithBsBooksSoNowSheGetsDistractedByThemInstead

Well it is a bookcase so it makes sense. I was worried B would just pull herself up on it and pull them off, but that doesn’t seem to be the case… yet.

#ItIsNiceToHaveALittleLibraryThereThoughIAmGettingBoredOfReadingHerFavouritesOnRepeat

The House That Jack Built, The Very Hungry Caterpillar, some new book about dinosaurs that feels very nice to touch but the story isn’t great… Her bedtime books are Peppa Pig’s My Daddy and Goodnight You, Goodnight Me.

#SinceMyLastEntryIFeltMoreOptimisticAndLikeIWasGoingToStopWhiningAndBeMoreProactive #WhichWasGreatForADayAndThenIFeltSuperDownAgain

I had a day where I felt amazing, and then crashhh.

(I don’t write these things for pity. I know I am not the only person who feels like this, so I hope by talking about things it might help someone else. I still have a befriender who calls me about my mental health. I thought about quitting, but my reasons for wanting to quit were the reasons why I needed to stay – mainly feeling stressed out and like I didn’t have time for it.)

#IMadeAPostInALocalGroupLookingForPlaymatesForBAndAskingAboutClassesAndThings

The thought got in my head so I thought I better do it. I spent ages daydreaming about what I would write while B was awake, then when she went to sleep I thought ‘no I shouldn’t do it’. But because I had spent so much time thinking about it I thought I had better do it.

People sent good suggestions, and a few people got in touch about hanging out. We’ll see if it happens though. I realised that I know more people around here than I think I do, so I’ve reached out to people to see if they want to hang out soon. That’s a positive at least.

#ThePandemicHasBeenToughForEveryoneInDifferentWays

I whine, but I know things have been a lot worse for other people. It’s been hard for us all in different ways.

#AndIThinkItHasBeenATotalPostcodeLotteryWithWhatHasBeenGoingOnInLocalAreas

Still jealous that friends have been going to playgroups/support groups/outside groups in other areas. I really should just organise my own group…

(3rd May: I’ve been throwing this ‘postcode lottery’ phrase around a lot this week as in Liverpool the health visitor’s are starting to do 10 month checks on babies in person, whereas they will not be coming to us – the Birmingham health visitor that is – so I just have to fill in a questionnaire.)

#TheGlimpseOfGoodWeatherMadeMeFeelGreatAsSittingOutsideMadeSuchAChangeToOurDay

It felt so good to sit outside with B and some toys. A bit of sun, a bit of fun and less distractions.

#SoTheBadWeatherMadeMeFeelLockedInsideAgain

This morning it was snowing/raining and I thought we would have to cancel plans with friends. I felt bummed out. Luckily it’s now sunny so we can meet them, hurrah!

#YesterdayWeWentForAWalkInTheRainAsIFeltLikeINeededToGetOut

We kept waiting for the rain to stop, but it didn’t so I made us go out. We took an umbrella, but in the end we didn’t even use it as it was only drizzling.

#HopefullyThingsCanOnlyGetBetterFromHereWithMoreThingsReopeningAndBetterWeatherOnTheHorizon

It has nearly been 4 months since we last went to a class in person. Typically with the walks that we don’t go on due to the timings not being great – one is moving to a better time for us later this month, so that should be good (if we can book a slot quick enough).

#IAmSureThatIWillSoonBeWhiningAboutHowIFeelLikeIDoNotFitInInLocalGroups

Watch this space.

#ButTheChangeOfSceneryAndBreakInOurRoutinesWillBeReallyGoodForUs

I think so. It will be good for B. Doing one of our classes on zoom has meant I have got to know one of the teachers fairly well (especially when B was the only person taking part the other week) and we might recognise some of the other Mums and babies.

#OrMeAnywaysAsBDoesNotReallyCareButIThinkSheWillLikeToSeeMoreYoungPeople

It will be good for her. It’s good for her to see that more people exist in the world. I just want to see her crawling round with other babies as she’s yet to do that!

#IHaveMadeAnEffortToTryOutNewParksThisWeek

Well, one we have been to before but the other one has been on our list for a while.

#TheOtherDayBWasSmilingAtAYoungGirlSoThatWasNice

I do not know how to interact with little kids. I’m not sure how she felt about B just staring at her.

#IThinkBMightHaveSeenATrainForTheFirstTimeTooWhichIsWeird

I do like seeing trains pass by (yeah weird I know), so we will be going by there again.

#SheDidNotSeemThatBotheredByItButSheDoesTakeNoteOfBusesThatIPointOut

I should have made a train noise perhaps. It may have gone by too fast for her to really register it.

#BIsStillTeethingALot

The neverending joy.

#ItHurtsWhenSheWantsToTeethOnMyFingerAndBitesItWithHerTooth

She finds it funny when I go ‘argh!’

#ItStillLooksLikeItNeedsToComeOutOfHerGumsMore

I think so? It looks like it should be bigger than how it is, but maybe it is how it should be? I don’t know.

#WeStartedToUseANewMoisturiserOnBsSkinAndItDoesNotSeemToBeGettingAnyWorse

It’s this one from Childs Farm. Someone on a local Mums whatsapp group mentioned it, so I thought we’d give it a go. We’re still using the Dermol 500 and Diprobase, and applying them regularly, but now I also put the moisturiser on her once or twice a day too. The fact that her skin doesn’t seem to be getting worse is good. I’d say her skin looks about 98% normal right now.

#IFeelLikeIAmDefinitelyNotBeingTheBestMotherForBThatICouldBe

I’m tired. I do not read to her as much as I should, I’ve given up with her YouTube baby classes, I probably do not talk to her as much as I should and the list goes on.

#INeedToJustDoBetterAndKeepTryingToMoveInAPositiveDirectionAndDoWhatIsBestForHer

I need to be better and do better for B. The other day I took her out twice even though the weather wasn’t good, so I might just take her out more. That’s why I want the better weather to come so we can just sit outside more, and maybe I can start giving her lunch in the park and we can just enjoy nature more.

We’ll see.


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Categories
Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Leg Hair: Before And After (31st March 2021)

Leg Hair: Before And After (31st March 2021)
 
#WellYesterdayWasAReallyHotDayAndTodayIsAlrightButNextWeekItMaySnow
#WeManagedToSitOutsideABitYesterdayAndPreparedASortOfPlayAreaForB
#OfCourseSheWasStraightOffTheMatAndLookingAtAnyBitOfDirtSheCouldFind
#AndSheJustWantedToHoldOntoTheBenchAndStandUpALot
#SheSeemedToLikeTheChangeOfSceneryThoughAndSoHopefullyWeCanKeepImprovingItForHer
#ItWasABitStressfulFiguringWhatSheShouldWearAllDayAndSleepIn
#IWishSheCouldJustTellMeHowHotOrColdSheIsButOfCourseThatWouldBeTooEasy
#WeGotSomeBlackoutStuffForHerWindowsTooSoHopefullyItMayHelpWithHerNappingAndSleep
#IDidGetHerUpAt7ThisMorningWhichIsQuiteLateForHer
#SheDidWakeUpAt2AndThen5SomethingButSheWentBackOffToSleep
#IAmWorriedThatSheWasTooHotButIAmNotSure
#IThinkSheIsJustStillInPainWithTeethingAndSheDoesSeemToBeItchingHerSkinALot
#HerSkinIsLookingGoodThoughSoIAmNotSureIfItIsItchyOrIfSheIsDoingItOutOfHabit
#IGuessItIsItchySoIJustKeepApplyingCream
#IReadYesterdayThatNewRulesSayWeCanNotSingInBabyClasses
#ThisIsGoingToAffectBsMusicClassWhichIsAllAboutSingingSoIAmInterestedToSeeWhatWillHappen
#IMayHaveSaidThisBeforeButIThinkMySingingVoiceHasGotALotBetterSinceHavingB
#IAmStillATerribleSingerButIHaveDefinitelyImprovedABit
#ItProbablyHelpsNoLongerLivingInAFlatTooAndNotFeelingSoSelfConsciousAboutMakingNoise
#IAmLookingForwardToChangeAndBeingAbleToDoMoreThings
#ButIDoFeelABitAnxiousAndWorriedAboutBsRoutineAndChangingItToDoThings
#ThoughYesterdayIGotSoExcitedAboutTheSunThatIForgotToGiveHerMilkBeforeHerSecondNap
#AndIDidNotEvenRealiseFor3HoursSoIThinkWeWillBeFine
#ButYesTheWarmerWeatherMayBeJustHereBrieflyForNowButIDoNeedToSortOutMyLegs
#IActuallyCanNotRememberTheLastTimeIShavedThemButItHasBeenProbablyTooLong
#IAmAllForBodyHairButIDoPreferMyLegsHairless
#HoweverTheyHaveJustBeenHiddenAwayForMonthsUnderLeggingsSoIJustLetThemDoTheirThing
#IThoughtAboutDoingTwoShootsWithABeforeAndAfterButItSeemedToMakeSenseToShowThemInTheSamePhoto
#IJustNeedToFindTimeToShaveTheOtherLegNowAndIHopeTheNeighboursDidNotSeeWhenIWentToGetTheWheelieBin
#AreTwoHairyLegsMoreSociallyAcceptableOnAWomanThanOneShavedAndOneNot

#WellYesterdayWasAReallyHotDayAndTodayIsAlrightButNextWeekItMaySnow

I think it is due to snow anyways. The weather/news keep saying ‘next week it may snow but let’s not talk about it’.

I don’t think I’ve ever been so in the know about the weather/temperature though.

#WeManagedToSitOutsideABitYesterdayAndPreparedASortOfPlayAreaForB

The other day we quickly ordered something for her to crawl on. We’d thought about astroturf, but then a mat seemed to make more sense.

#OfCourseSheWasStraightOffTheMatAndLookingAtAnyBitOfDirtSheCouldFind

Leaf. Twig. Bug. I don’t know how some bug avoided getting squashed by B. She kept narrowly missing it as she crawled around.

#AndSheJustWantedToHoldOntoTheBenchAndStandUpALot

Of course. She holds onto everything – including the stool that I’m standing on in this photo. We put this by us in hope that she holds herself up on it instead of the TV stand or something else.

#SheSeemedToLikeTheChangeOfSceneryThoughAndSoHopefullyWeCanKeepImprovingItForHer

We all took turns at sweeping the floor. B finds it funny when I sweep for some reason?

#ItWasABitStressfulFiguringWhatSheShouldWearAllDayAndSleepIn

We don’t have many summer clothes for her – I ordered some the other night. Last night she slept in a sleepsuit without a vest, but the sleeping bag may have been too heavy. Her lighter ones are also yet to arrive.

The heaviest one just arrived. Typical. It also has the nicest design and she probably won’t use it that much – thought it might come in handy with the upcoming temperature drop.

#IWishSheCouldJustTellMeHowHotOrColdSheIsButOfCourseThatWouldBeTooEasy

If she could tell me anything that would be great. Obviously I can tell some things from how she is, but yes being able to communicate ‘properly’ would be amazing.

#WeGotSomeBlackoutStuffForHerWindowsTooSoHopefullyItMayHelpWithHerNappingAndSleep

I’ve done an awful job of it as I did it by myself and I’m bad at cutting things down to size but it does the trick.

#IDidGetHerUpAt7ThisMorningWhichIsQuiteLateForHer

Well I got her up at 7.30 the other day, but the clocks had just changed so it was really 6.30.

#SheDidWakeUpAt2AndThen5SomethingButSheWentBackOffToSleep #IAmWorriedThatSheWasTooHotButIAmNotSure

I did open her door a bit at 2, and she did go back to sleep. She woke up at 5.45 I think, but I was making her wait until 6 but she went back off to sleep, and so did I.

Last night Tiago worked until after midnight and I stayed up until after 11 watching the Paloma Faith documentary.

I spend so much of the day ready to go to bed, and then the evening comes and I end up going to bed late.

#IThinkSheIsJustStillInPainWithTeethingAndSheDoesSeemToBeItchingHerSkinALot

The fun never ends.

#HerSkinIsLookingGoodThoughSoIAmNotSureIfItIsItchyOrIfSheIsDoingItOutOfHabit

I put ‘her skin is looking really good’ so I edited it as I know I am jinxing things. It was getting worse again but we switched to using her other cream more and that seems to have worked. Before the other one was working better. *Massive shrug emoji*

#IGuessItIsItchySoIJustKeepApplyingCream

Again, the fun never ends.

#IReadYesterdayThatNewRulesSayWeCanNotSingInBabyClasses

Great.

I do get why that might be the case, but ergh.

#ThisIsGoingToAffectBsMusicClassWhichIsAllAboutSingingSoIAmInterestedToSeeWhatWillHappen

We’ve been doing the classes on zoom 2 times a week (it was 5, then 3), and I know all the songs now!

#IMayHaveSaidThisBeforeButIThinkMySingingVoiceHasGotALotBetterSinceHavingB #IAmStillATerribleSingerButIHaveDefinitelyImprovedABit

We sing Jump by Van Halen too many times a day. I can hit the lower notes of that Sea Shanty song better too.

#ItProbablyHelpsNoLongerLivingInAFlatTooAndNotFeelingSoSelfConsciousAboutMakingNoise

I know a lot of people have to live in flats, but they’re terrible if the soundproofing is rubbish and you worry about making too much noise.

#IAmLookingForwardToChangeAndBeingAbleToDoMoreThings

Sitting in gardens. Baby classes. Hanging out with more people.

#ButIDoFeelABitAnxiousAndWorriedAboutBsRoutineAndChangingItToDoThings

I have been messing with her wake windows a bit and it seems alright.

#ThoughYesterdayIGotSoExcitedAboutTheSunThatIForgotToGiveHerMilkBeforeHerSecondNap

I did give her some water at least. I had been out to work and that always throws me off.

#AndIDidNotEvenRealiseFor3HoursSoIThinkWeWillBeFine

I did think that might be why she woke up a bit last night, but it could have been anything and everything really.

#ButYesTheWarmerWeatherMayBeJustHereBrieflyForNowButIDoNeedToSortOutMyLegs

I was planning to write about this earlier on, but got distracted by other things.

#IActuallyCanNotRememberTheLastTimeIShavedThemButItHasBeenProbablyTooLong

I think I have done them since moving to Birmingham, but I could be imagining it.

#IAmAllForBodyHairButIDoPreferMyLegsHairless

Bad feminist? I just like how they look without hair. I can’t remember the last time I got rid of all my armpit hair though. It’s just easier to hide…

#HoweverTheyHaveJustBeenHiddenAwayForMonthsUnderLeggingsSoIJustLetThemDoTheirThing

Grow my uglies, grow.

#IThoughtAboutDoingTwoShootsWithABeforeAndAfterButItSeemedToMakeSenseToShowThemInTheSamePhoto

It’s probably slightly more interesting to look at as one photo (?) and yeah too much effort for two shoots. I’m surprised I’ve managed to do a shoot, write hashtags, have a 30 minute phone call with my befriender, and (hopefully) finish this post before B wakes up from her nap/I wake her up in 6 minutes.

#IJustNeedToFindTimeToShaveTheOtherLegNowAndIHopeTheNeighboursDidNotSeeWhenIWentToGetTheWheelieBin

B might have to just sit and watch me do it when I get her up. Or maybe I can wake her up with the noise of it. I just did it with the electric shaver attachment of an epilator. I’m not looking forward to epilating again. I didn’t bother at all last summer, so yeah that’s some fun to look forward to when I can be bothered.

#AreTwoHairyLegsMoreSociallyAcceptableOnAWomanThanOneShavedAndOneNot

Answers on a postcard to Jockey Greys, Mars, 2100.

(Apparently people will be living on Mars by the end of the century. No thanks. Will B end up on Mars? Who knows.)


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Imitating B’s New Cheeky Grin, Though She Does Not Have A Mouth Full Of Bad Teeth (24th March 2021)

Me with a big grin, trying to imitate B.
Imitating B’s New Cheeky Grin, Though She Does Not Have A Mouth Full Of Bad Teeth (24th March 2021)
 
#TheOtherDayINoticedThatBHadANewCheekyGrin
#IMadeAVideoOfItAndShowedItToHerThenSheWasGrinningBackAtHerself
#ThinkingAboutItSheHasNotReallyDoneItSinceThenButSheDoesSeemToDoNewThingsAndForgetAboutThemForABit
#MyMumSaysSheIsImitatingMeWhenIDoItButIAmNotAwareOfMyselfDoingIt
#WeAreJustConstantlyOnBWatchNowAsSheSeemsToBumpHerHeadAMillionTimesADay
#LuckilyBabiesSeemQuiteResilientWhichIsGoodAsOtherwiseIDoNotThinkAnyoneWouldMakeItToAdulthood
#HerToothIsStillYetToBreakThroughAndSheLikesToWakeUpAtAround11pmInPain
#LastNightTAndIWereBothSoTiredThatWeHopedItWasJustARandomWakeUp
#OfCourseIWasJustStartingToDriftOffWhenSheWokeUp
#EventuallyTiagoWentAndGaveHerSomeTeethingGelWhichSeemedToWork
#IShouldHaveJustGotUpSoonerAndDoneItAndNowIFeelQuiteGuilty
#NowIAmActuallyLookingForwardToTheClocksChangingAsIHopeWeCanGetBBackToWakingUpAt7
#OftenWhenISeePicturesOfOtherPeopleBreastfeedingIFeelBadThatOurBreastfeedingJourneyEndedEarlierThanIPlanned
#ButBReallyDidNotWantToDoItSoItMadeSenseToStop
#WeCompletedOurCensusTheOtherDayAndItWasQuiteExcitingToPutBOnThere
#HopefullyIn100YearsTimeWeWillHaveRelativesWhoAreInterestedInUs
#AndTheyWillBeAbleToFindUsLivingWithNan
#IAmDefinitelyGladThatWeMoved
#IThinkIWouldBeStrugglingALotIfWeStillLivedInLiverpoolAsWeWouldNotHaveSoMuchSupport
#IWouldNotBeAbleToHaveTheJobThatIAmDoingAtTheMomentOrAtLeastNotBeAbleToDoItInTheSameWay
#ItHasBeenNiceToGoOutThoughMyLegsFeelABitLikeJellyAfterWalkingSoMuchYesterday
#ItIsGoodThatBIsUsedToMyMumAsSheDoesNotSeemToMindWhenIGoOut
#ItIsEarlyDaysSoThatMightChangeButSheIsQuiteHappyClingingToMyMumDuringABadTeethingMoment
#IHopeItDoesNotRainMuchOnFutureWorkDaysAsThatWillMakeItNotSoGreat
#IFeelPositiveWithGettingOutMoreThoughAndNextWeekWeShouldBeAbleToSitInOtherPeoplesGardens
#AndSoonBabyClassesWillReopenAgainWhichIAmGreatlyLookingForwardTo
#FriendsInDifferentAreasHaveAlreadyBeenGoingToGroupsAndHaveBeenAbleToHangOut
#IWantBToHaveSomeFriendsThatSheCanCrawlAroundWithAndDoThingsThatSheHasBeenMissingOutOn
#LuckilySheDoesNotKnowSheIsMissingOutButHopefullySheWillNotHaveToMissOutAgainThoughIAmNotThatOptimisticAboutItAll
#IAmGladIHaveTheDentistSoonAsOneOfMyTeethIsStartingToPlayUp

(18th April 2021: I debated changing the title today, but there needs to be some comment in it about B not having so many teeth, and my teeth are bad so I guess it’s accurate. I do feel a bit awkward about it, but I guess that’s why my solo show last year was called Always Awkward.

#TheOtherDayINoticedThatBHadANewCheekyGrin

It made me cry a bit as I thought it was so sweet.

#IMadeAVideoOfItAndShowedItToHerThenSheWasGrinningBackAtHerself

Adorable.

#ThinkingAboutItSheHasNotReallyDoneItSinceThenButSheDoesSeemToDoNewThingsAndForgetAboutThemForABit

Yeah this happens a lot. I showed her the video again earlier, but she didn’t do it.

#MyMumSaysSheIsImitatingMeWhenIDoItButIAmNotAwareOfMyselfDoingIt

I guess it’s hard when you can’t see yourself all of the time – not that I’d want to anyways.

#WeAreJustConstantlyOnBWatchNowAsSheSeemsToBumpHerHeadAMillionTimesADay

She currently has two little red marks on her head at the moment. One is from her bumping her head on her box of eggs and the other one could be from a million other incidents.

#LuckilyBabiesSeemQuiteResilientWhichIsGoodAsOtherwiseIDoNotThinkAnyoneWouldMakeItToAdulthood

I probably should look at a baby first aid course. It has been on my list of things to do – I need to get on it.

#HerToothIsStillYetToBreakThroughAndSheLikesToWakeUpAtAround11pmInPain

🙁 I knew I was never going to look forward to the teething phase. Why can’t it just hurry up and appear. We still have lots of other teeth to deal with…

#LastNightTAndIWereBothSoTiredThatWeHopedItWasJustARandomWakeUp

‘She might just go back to sleep soon.’ She did settle for a bit, then as we were falling back to sleep she started again.

#OfCourseIWasJustStartingToDriftOffWhenSheWokeUp

T was already asleep. I need to start reading books again as otherwise my brain doesn’t switch off well…

#EventuallyTiagoWentAndGaveHerSomeTeethingGelWhichSeemedToWork

We hadn’t been using it much before, but it’s our new best friend.

#IShouldHaveJustGotUpSoonerAndDoneItAndNowIFeelQuiteGuilty

Bad parent. We live and learn…

#NowIAmActuallyLookingForwardToTheClocksChangingAsIHopeWeCanGetBBackToWakingUpAt7

Doubt it, but I hope so. Her naps still seem to be a bit here and there too.

#OftenWhenISeePicturesOfOtherPeopleBreastfeedingIFeelBadThatOurBreastfeedingJourneyEndedEarlierThanIPlanned

A random jump, but it’s on my notes to jog my memory about what I might want to talk about.

#ButBReallyDidNotWantToDoItSoItMadeSenseToStop

I probably upset people with my breastfeeding pictures, as they might not have been able to breastfeed or their journey ended earlier than they thought it might too.

I definitely think people should keep sharing their photos, but it just reminds me that I am sad about it all.

#WeCompletedOurCensusTheOtherDayAndItWasQuiteExcitingToPutBOnThere #HopefullyIn100YearsTimeWeWillHaveRelativesWhoAreInterestedInUs #AndTheyWillBeAbleToFindUsLivingWithNan

I do think about things like our family tree a bit. Will our line continue? Maybe, maybe not. Hopefully some distant relative will be interested in us though.

#IAmDefinitelyGladThatWeMoved

I do miss Liverpool but the winter would have been tough.

#IThinkIWouldBeStrugglingALotIfWeStillLivedInLiverpoolAsWeWouldNotHaveSoMuchSupport

Obviously there are people out there who have been through this pandemic with so little support. We would have just got on with it, but I think we would have probably ending up moving somewhere – even just the other side of Liverpool. We didn’t live near any parks, which was a big thing that I felt we were missing.

#IWouldNotBeAbleToHaveTheJobThatIAmDoingAtTheMomentOrAtLeastNotBeAbleToDoItInTheSameWay

At the moment I am spreading out my hours over multiple days so my Mum or Tiago can look after her. She would have either had to go to nursery which would have cancelled out what I was earning or Tiago would have had to look after her all weekend.

#ItHasBeenNiceToGoOutThoughMyLegsFeelABitLikeJellyAfterWalkingSoMuchYesterday

My shoulders are also a bit sore, so I have been trying to roll them out a lot.

#ItIsGoodThatBIsUsedToMyMumAsSheDoesNotSeemToMindWhenIGoOut #ItIsEarlyDaysSoThatMightChangeButSheIsQuiteHappyClingingToMyMumDuringABadTeethingMoment

If she was upset I’m sure she’d get over it soon but I’d feel guilty, though it’s good for us to let me go and do my own thing for a bit.

#IHopeItDoesNotRainMuchOnFutureWorkDaysAsThatWillMakeItNotSoGreat

It has just finished raining. I’m not supposed to talk about my job on social media, so this is why I am quite vague.

#IFeelPositiveWithGettingOutMoreThoughAndNextWeekWeShouldBeAbleToSitInOtherPeoplesGardens

I thought the 29th March was a Sunday, but nope it’s a Monday.

Will people probably be sat in gardens this weekend anyways? Probably.

#AndSoonBabyClassesWillReopenAgainWhichIAmGreatlyLookingForwardTo

Hurrah.

#FriendsInDifferentAreasHaveAlreadyBeenGoingToGroupsAndHaveBeenAbleToHangOut

A know one friend goes to an outdoors group and other friends go to a playgroup. I still don’t know when a playgroup will open near us. Am I jealous? Yes. Am I dealing with it? Yes. I have a big distraction with work now, and by the time I finish that job hopefully lots more things will be open.

#IWantBToHaveSomeFriendsThatSheCanCrawlAroundWithAndDoThingsThatSheHasBeenMissingOutOn

We’ve bumped into a Mum and her kids a couple of times this week, so it’s been nice for B to see a baby her own age.

#LuckilySheDoesNotKnowSheIsMissingOutButHopefullySheWillNotHaveToMissOutAgainThoughIAmNotThatOptimisticAboutItAll

It sounds like things are getting bad again. Hopefully we can be smarter as a country about things this time. The other day we realised that we might not be able to see Tiago’s family this summer. We don’t fancy throwing money down the drain as the logistics are complicated, so we’ll just have to wait and see.

#IAmGladIHaveTheDentistSoonAsOneOfMyTeethIsStartingToPlayUp

A random end, but yes this tooth is playing me up so I’m glad I can get it looked at soon.


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Imitating B Inspecting Dirt On The Floor (21st March 2021)

Me low to the ground in a stripey dress touching a piece of dirt on the carpet.
Imitating B Inspecting Dirt On The Floor (21st March 2021)
 
#NothingGetsPastBTheseDays
#EspeciallyAnyBitOfDirtOnTheFloorThatSheIsQuickToPickUp
#SheIsSoFastAndWeBreatheASighOfReliefWhenSheSitsStillForAMinute
#ThisWeekHasBeenMyBusiestWeekSinceSheWasBornIThink
#AndOfCourseItCoincidedWithBsFirstToothStartingToCutThroughHerGums
#ItIsDay6AndIDoNotThinkItHasBrokenTheSurfaceYet
#AWomanAtTheParkSaidItCanTakeUpToAMonthForAToothToFullyAppear
#WeHaveStartedToBrushBsTeethOrRatherGumsToGetHerUsedToUsDoingIt
#HerToothpasteIsFor0To2YearOldsButItSaysTheyShouldSpitItOut
#BHasBeenLaughingAtMeShowingHerHowToSpitItOutButIDoNotThinkItMattersThatMuch
#HerNapsHaveGenerallyBeenALotShorterAndSheUsuallyWakesUpAt6amNow
#IHaveBeenWorkingUntil11ishQuiteALotButThenItTakesSoLongForMyBrainToSwitchOff
#WeManagedOneEpisodeOfAShowForDateNightLastNightThenWeWentToBedAt10
#IAmDreadingTheClocksChangingNextWeekendThoughIAmLookingForwardToLighterEvenings
#YesterdayIHadPortfolioReviewsAndWorkWorkToDoSoTiagoLookedAfterBForMostOfTheDay
#IWasReadingSomethingAboutTheSuccessOfAFemaleArtistAfterHavingKidsSeemsToCorrelateToHowSupportiveTheirPartnerIs
#IFeelLuckyThatTiagoIsSupportiveOfItAllAsOtherwiseItWouldBeHarderToGetThingsDone
#ForTheNextMonthOrSoIWillBeOutALotMoreWorkingWhichMeansLessTimeForMyOwnStuffSoWeWillSeeHowThatAllGoes
#AKidAtTheParkTheOtherDayCameOverAndStartedToPushBInTheSwing
#SheDidNotKnowWhatToMakeOfItAndIWasAlsoABitUnsureOfWhatToDo
#IDoNowKnowHowToTalkToKids
#TheOtherDayICriedAsIHadQuiteATenderMomentWithB
#SheWasInspectingMyFingersWithGreatCareAndWasLaughingAtMeRaisingMyEyebrowsUpAndDown
#SheAlsoHasANewCheekyGrinWhichIsSuperAdorable
#SheLikesToPlayWithTheBalloonsThatWeBlewUpForOneOfHerBabyClasses
#SheIsYetToUnderstandThatTheyCanPopAndIAmNotLookingForwardToTheDayThatTheyDo
#RecentlySheWasReallyDiggingHerFingersIntoItAndIHatedTheNoise
#IQuicklyPutMyHandsOverMyEarsAndSheAlsoFoundThatHilarious
#INeedToDoSomeResearchIntoWhatSoundsAllAnimalsMake
#ForExampleWhatSoundDoesAGiraffeMake

#NothingGetsPastBTheseDays

I feel like I have a completely different baby to a month ago.

#EspeciallyAnyBitOfDirtOnTheFloorThatSheIsQuickToPickUp

Though I do love when she goes for the tiny hole in the kitchen floor that she thinks is dirt, but obviously can’t pick up.

#SheIsSoFastAndWeBreatheASighOfReliefWhenSheSitsStillForAMinute

Tiago looked after her a lot yesterday and said that she never stops. I was like ‘welcome to my week’.

#ThisWeekHasBeenMyBusiestWeekSinceSheWasBornIThink

Still got plenty to do, but it’ll be fine.

#AndOfCourseItCoincidedWithBsFirstToothStartingToCutThroughHerGums #ItIsDay6AndIDoNotThinkItHasBrokenTheSurfaceYet

It felt so sharp the other day, but looking at it I do not think it has come through yet. It must be horrible. Bless B.

#AWomanAtTheParkSaidItCanTakeUpToAMonthForAToothToFullyAppear

Great.

#WeHaveStartedToBrushBsTeethOrRatherGumsToGetHerUsedToUsDoingIt

I wasn’t looking forward to it, but she does not seem to mind much.

#HerToothpasteIsFor0To2YearOldsButItSaysTheyShouldSpitItOut

Lol. Imagine trying to get a 4 month old to spit it out (B is 9 months and she does not get it yet).

#BHasBeenLaughingAtMeShowingHerHowToSpitItOutButIDoNotThinkItMattersThatMuch

She has seen us brush our teeth with an electric toothbrush so when we brush hers or I pretend to brush mine I make the sound of one. I think she finds me going ‘blergh’ more funny though. The other night she would not stop laughing.

#HerNapsHaveGenerallyBeenALotShorterAndSheUsuallyWakesUpAt6amNow

Yesterday Tiago was looking forward to her naps; she slept for half an hour both times. She has been sleeping okay through the night, though last night she did wake up at 11 briefly.

#IHaveBeenWorkingUntil11ishQuiteALotButThenItTakesSoLongForMyBrainToSwitchOff

I have been falling asleep after 12 most nights, except for last night when I actually was asleep when she woke up. Typical.

#WeManagedOneEpisodeOfAShowForDateNightLastNightThenWeWentToBedAt10

We’ve been watching Through Her Eyes. We watched 2 episodes last weekend, then hadn’t watched it again until last night. Tiago has given me the go ahead to watch it by myself though, as I think he is a little freaked out/can’t be bothered to watch it. I have started to watch a lot of TV on 1.5x while doing work…

#IAmDreadingTheClocksChangingNextWeekendThoughIAmLookingForwardToLighterEvenings

I get confused by it all every time though. Thinking about it the old 6am will be 7am, so the first night might not be great (hello super early bedtime) but it could be worse. We’ll see…

#YesterdayIHadPortfolioReviewsAndWorkWorkToDoSoTiagoLookedAfterBForMostOfTheDay

I hope more things stay online after the pandemic is over. It was so much more convenient to be at home with a digital portfolio. One reviewer said she wouldn’t have been able to go to the physical reviews as she has kids to look after.

They seemed to go well and were generally positive. It seems worth noting that I only had female reviewers.

#IWasReadingSomethingAboutTheSuccessOfAFemaleArtistAfterHavingKidsSeemsToCorrelateToHowSupportiveTheirPartnerIs

I guess it makes sense.

#IFeelLuckyThatTiagoIsSupportiveOfItAllAsOtherwiseItWouldBeHarderToGetThingsDone

It’s 9.15am and this morning he’s been looking after B so I could do dance videos, do a shoot and now my hashtags and blog. B is just going down for a nap, so I hope she sleeps well. I need to do some ‘work work’ after this, but I want to make sure that Tiago has some time for his own stuff today too.

I still feel guilty about T looking after her so much, but B doesn’t see him that much during the week so it’s nice for them to spend some quality time together.

#ForTheNextMonthOrSoIWillBeOutALotMoreWorkingWhichMeansLessTimeForMyOwnStuffSoWeWillSeeHowThatAllGoes

My Mum and Tiago will be looking after her while I’m doing it. I’m looking forward to getting out more, but I worry about fitting everything in. I know it’ll be fine though.

#AKidAtTheParkTheOtherDayCameOverAndStartedToPushBInTheSwing

We had been talking to some earlier about a car, which he said was a tractor.

#SheDidNotKnowWhatToMakeOfItAndIWasAlsoABitUnsureOfWhatToDo

He had a lot of spit on his hands and B had a runny nose – fun for Covid times.

#IDoNowKnowHowToTalkToKids

I guess as B gets older I’ll figure it out, and hopefully we’ll start to hang out with more kids soon.

#TheOtherDayICriedAsIHadQuiteATenderMomentWithB

I just had to check that that was the right term.

#SheWasInspectingMyFingersWithGreatCareAndWasLaughingAtMeRaisingMyEyebrowsUpAndDown

She was sat in her high chair and it was just really sweet. I love making her laugh.

#SheAlsoHasANewCheekyGrinWhichIsSuperAdorable

I should probably imitate it for a future shoot.

(15th April: It’s the next post.)

#SheLikesToPlayWithTheBalloonsThatWeBlewUpForOneOfHerBabyClasses

She also laughs when I throw one up and enthusiastically catch it. I have a lot of fun just kicking them about and playing volleyball with them.

#SheIsYetToUnderstandThatTheyCanPopAndIAmNotLookingForwardToTheDayThatTheyDo

I am worried that it might hurt her and she will get really freaked out.

#RecentlySheWasReallyDiggingHerFingersIntoItAndIHatedTheNoise

Ergh.

#IQuicklyPutMyHandsOverMyEarsAndSheAlsoFoundThatHilarious

I live to make her laugh. Once I learn how to talk to kids I might become a kid’s entertainer…

#INeedToDoSomeResearchIntoWhatSoundsAllAnimalsMake #ForExampleWhatSoundDoesAGiraffeMake

I end up singing that ‘What Does The Fox Say?‘ song from time to time as B has a fox toy and a few books that reference foxes. I just remember hearing them mate in London a lot and that wasn’t very nice…

People like to use animals for things that aren’t really known for their noises. If in doubt a lot of animals roar, and most birds tweet, but what does a moose say? A lot of them become Pokemon in my mind as in a toucan says tou-can, and a moose says moooose.


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First Trip On A Train In A Year (16th March 2021)

(11th April – Yeah the photo is boring, but it felt like a big moment.)

First Time On A Train In A Year (16th March 2021)

#TodayINeededToGoToBirminghamCityCentreToShowThatIAmActuallyWhoISayIAmForATemporaryJob
#IBelieveThatIHadNotBeenOnATrainSince16thMarch2020ButThatSeemsABitTooMuchOfACoincidenceToBeTrue
#IHadNotBeenToBirminghamNewStreetStationSinceJanuary2020AndIHadNotWalkedAroundBrumSinceSometimeIn2019
#IGotToMyLocalStationSuperEarlyAsIGuessIAmUsedToAimingToLeaveEarlierThanUsualWhenIActuallyNeedToBeSomewhereWithB
#HoweverTodayIWasByMyselfAndItWasOdd
#BWasNotInAGoodMoodBeforeILeftButLuckilySheKnowsMyMumWellSoWasHappyClingingToHer
#TheTicketMachineSeemedToBeOutOfOrderSoIHadToGoToTheTicketCounter
#WhenIWasAboutToPayHeOpenedUpHisHatchAndForSomeReasonIThoughtIHadToGiveHimMyCard
#HePointedToTheCardMachineWhichIHadAlreadyNoticedBeforeAndIFeltABitEmbarrassed
#ThePriceSeemedLowerThanIThoughtItWouldBeSoIMadeSureThatHeDidNotGiveMeAChildTicket
#ThinkingAboutItAfterwardsItDidSoundLikeTheRightPriceButIPaidTheSameInLiverpoolForOneStopAndAFewMinutesTrainRide
#ISatOnABenchAndWatchedAFastTrainGoPastWhichFreakedMeOutABit
#MyCarriageWasEmptyButIStillManagedToGetTerriblePhotosOfMyExperience
#ThisRemindsMeOfWhenITookPhotosOfMeInASupermarketAsIHadNotBeenInOneFor6Months
#WellWhenIGotOffTheTrainTodayIWentIntoASupermarketAndGotMyselfAMealDeal
#ThenISatInVictoriaSquareAndRememberedHowAwkwardItIsToEatInPublic
#SomeYoungWomenWereShoutingKillTheBillAndIAdmiredTheirEnergy
#IWasAlreadyFeelingTiredAsIStayedUpTooLateLastNightSkippingThroughAllTheEpisodesOfTheCelebrityCircle
#ThatFeelsDumbToSayAfterTalkingAboutPeopleProtestingButItIsTheTruth
#MyMeetingWentFineAndIHaveLotsOfStuffToGetOnWithNow
#IRanForAnEarlierTrainHomeAsICouldNotBeBotheredToSitOnThePlatformForAgesAndThereWasNowhereElseToGo
#ItFeltSoOddRunningThroughTheCityCentreAndTrainStation
#IThoughtIWouldGetToldOffOrSomethingThoughIDoNotKnowWhy
#IWoreAMaskForTheLongestAmountOfTimeTodaySinceTheFirstLockdownStartedWhichSeemsABitLate
#ISawLotsOfDucksOnTheWayHomeFromTheStationAndItMadeMeMissBAsUsuallyIPointThemOutToHer
#GotHomeAndMyMumAskedIfIHadRanHome
#MaybeILookedRedOrPerhapsIWasEarlierThanSheExpected
#SheSaidThatAtLunchBHadBeenTryingToChewToastButWasCryingOutAsSheTriedToDoSo
#LaterOnIFeltABitOfASharpToothStartingToStickOutOfHerBottomGum
#TodayIWasTheFurthestAwayThatIHaveEverBeenAwayFromHerAndThoughItWasNiceToBeByMyselfForABitIWouldHaveRatherBeenWithHer

Got to keep this short. Got to keep this brief. Too much stuff to do and I probably shouldn’t have prioritised this. Whoops.

#TodayINeededToGoToBirminghamCityCentreToShowThatIAmActuallyWhoISayIAmForATemporaryJob

Makes sense. I could be totally catfishing an employer…

#IBelieveThatIHadNotBeenOnATrainSince16thMarch2020ButThatSeemsABitTooMuchOfACoincidenceToBeTrue

It seems weird that it may have actually been an exact year. 16th March 2020 was a Monday and I’m pretty sure I was not feeling too great that day, so I said I’d next go into the office (where I did some part-time work) maybe a few days later but by the time I got home I found out that pregnant women were classed as high risk.

#IHadNotBeenToBirminghamNewStreetStationSinceJanuary2020AndIHadNotWalkedAroundBrumSinceSometimeIn2019

In January 2020 I just passed through to change trains to go to my Nan’s. Not sure when the last time I actually walked around Brum city was…

#IGotToMyLocalStationSuperEarlyAsIGuessIAmUsedToAimingToLeaveEarlierThanUsualWhenIActuallyNeedToBeSomewhereWithB

I’ve walked past it with B before on the way to baby classes in December. With B I’m usually a bit slower as I have to push her, and sometimes it is more of a leisurely pace.

#HoweverTodayIWasByMyselfAndItWasOdd

I’ve been looking forward to this trip for a while let’s face it, but it felt so odd to be by myself.

#BWasNotInAGoodMoodBeforeILeftButLuckilySheKnowsMyMumWellSoWasHappyClingingToHer

I thought she must be teething badly again. I felt bad leaving her, but I needed to go.

#TheTicketMachineSeemedToBeOutOfOrderSoIHadToGoToTheTicketCounter

I was working myself up to touch the darn machine and it was out of order. I used a lot of hand sanitiser today.

#WhenIWasAboutToPayHeOpenedUpHisHatchAndForSomeReasonIThoughtIHadToGiveHimMyCard #HePointedToTheCardMachineWhichIHadAlreadyNoticedBeforeAndIFeltABitEmbarrassed

Lol. Awkward. I was going to go say something, but I couldn’t be bothered.

#ThePriceSeemedLowerThanIThoughtItWouldBeSoIMadeSureThatHeDidNotGiveMeAChildTicket

So he thought I was more odd.

#ThinkingAboutItAfterwardsItDidSoundLikeTheRightPriceButIPaidTheSameInLiverpoolForOneStopAndAFewMinutesTrainRide

I rarely pay for anything face to face these days, and yeah I temporarily forgot how much a train ticket costs.

#ISatOnABenchAndWatchedAFastTrainGoPastWhichFreakedMeOutABit

It seemed so… fast.

#MyCarriageWasEmptyButIStillManagedToGetTerriblePhotosOfMyExperience

I even took along a tripod for my phone, but felt awkward with the CCTV camera at the end of the carriage.

#ThisRemindsMeOfWhenITookPhotosOfMeInASupermarketAsIHadNotBeenInOneFor6Months

Yeah those photos were fairly bad. This project has evolved a bit, but as I have been making work throughout the pandemic I thought I should still talk about some of this stuff.

#WellWhenIGotOffTheTrainTodayIWentIntoASupermarketAndGotMyselfAMealDeal

Yes, speaking of supermarkets. It is sad that I do miss them so much. Tiago usually does our food shopping and due to rules we don’t go with him.

I was thinking what food I could get, but I felt overwhelmed by choice. I regretted my veggie wrap decision, but I enjoyed prawn cocktail crisps.

(This is top quality boring stuff for sure.)

#ThenISatInVictoriaSquareAndRememberedHowAwkwardItIsToEatInPublic

I thought about a time when I spent ages choosing somewhere to eat a sandwich before an improv class when I lived in London. In the end I chose an area that seemed quite quiet, and as I went to take a big bite I looked up and saw a male photographer taking a photo of me.

It then reminded me of a time in France when a guy was trying to get a picture of me applying suncream, and he was so close up that it was probably a bust shot. I kept turning around whenever he picked his camera up and I said no. He was getting annoyed with me, but I said no. Then he walked off and tried to take a picture of me from further away. Some things I missed from my memories post.

(11th April: I’ve also been thinking lately about the horrible male orthodontist that I had when I was a teenager. He used to accuse me of not wearing my retainer and would tighten it SUPER tight. For the record I always wore the darn thing (especially as I did not want him to tighten it so much), and now I’m older I think that he might have just been abusing his position of power to cause unnecessary pain. Maybe he didn’t and my teeth were (and still are) genuinely rubbish, but I do wonder about it.)

#SomeYoungWomenWereShoutingKillTheBillAndIAdmiredTheirEnergy

It felt like an alternate universe of sorts for me.

#IWasAlreadyFeelingTiredAsIStayedUpTooLateLastNightSkippingThroughAllTheEpisodesOfTheCelebrityCircle

I didn’t realise they were only going to be online for another 14 hours, so I just had to skim through them for the good bits. The channel 4 app needs to have 1.5x button like Netflix.

#ThatFeelsDumbToSayAfterTalkingAboutPeopleProtestingButItIsTheTruth

I should have gone to bed earlier. I’m feeling it now.

#MyMeetingWentFineAndIHaveLotsOfStuffToGetOnWithNow

But I’m writing this and I’m not keeping it brief like I said.

#IRanForAnEarlierTrainHomeAsICouldNotBeBotheredToSitOnThePlatformForAgesAndThereWasNowhereElseToGo

I would have loved to go to a museum or gallery, but no they’re not open until mid-May?!

#ItFeltSoOddRunningThroughTheCityCentreAndTrainStation #IThoughtIWouldGetToldOffOrSomethingThoughIDoNotKnowWhy

I don’t know why it felt so wrong. I kept away from people. I guess I just felt weird running in a mask.

#IWoreAMaskForTheLongestAmountOfTimeTodaySinceTheFirstLockdownStartedWhichSeemsABitLate

I didn’t even bother taking it off after my meeting until I left my local station.

#ISawLotsOfDucksOnTheWayHomeFromTheStationAndItMadeMeMissBAsUsuallyIPointThemOutToHer

I took terrible photos of them instead and showed her them when I got home.

#GotHomeAndMyMumAskedIfIHadRanHome #MaybeILookedRedOrPerhapsIWasEarlierThanSheExpected

I was earlier than I had said. I walked fast from the station too.

#SheSaidThatAtLunchBHadBeenTryingToChewToastButWasCryingOutAsSheTriedToDoSo

🙁

#LaterOnIFeltABitOfASharpToothStartingToStickOutOfHerBottomGum

It really didn’t feel nice. Will we have a tooth tomorrow? Will B sleep well? I hope it’s a yes to both, though I’m not looking forward to brushing her tooth.

#TodayIWasTheFurthestAwayThatIHaveEverBeenAwayFromHerAndThoughItWasNiceToBeByMyselfForABitIWouldHaveRatherBeenWithHer

Cheesy but true. It just seemed so odd being away from her. I passed women with babies and it felt odd to smile at them without B.

Time to do some work…


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