Categories
Pregnancy Waiting II

Imitating B Closing Her Eyes As She Knocks Down A Tower Of Blocks (10 Weeks? / 7th June 2021)

Self-portrait with my eyes closed. B's bricks are stacked up with 5 rows of 2 on top of each other with just one at the top. I am holding onto the top one with my left hand and pushing them.
Imitating B Closing Her Eyes As She Knocks Down A Tower Of Blocks (10 Weeks? / 7th June 2021)
 
#BHasBeenClosingHerEyesBeforeDoingLoudThingsForQuiteAWhile
#ItUsedToBeThatBeforeSheDroppedHerCupFromHerHighchairSheWouldCloseThem
#ILikeToSeeHowTallICanBuildATowerBeforeSheComesToKnockItOver
#TheBlocksBelongToTheWalkerThatSheHas
#SheIsGettingReallyGoodWithItAndSomeDaysSheWillJustKeepGoingUpAndDownTheRoomWithIt
#ThoughSheStillNeedsToLearnHowToTurnItRoundAsWeHaveToDoThatForHer
#SheIsAlsoGettingQuickerAtMovingAroundTheRoomWhileHoldingOntoFurniture
#IAmAlrightButJustFeelingQuiteSickForMostOfTheDay
#ITryToDrinkWaterRegularlyAndEatOftenButMaybeItIsMoreDownToTiredness
#BKeepsWakingUpAroundFiveFortyAtTheMomentWhichIsNotMuchFun
#IOftenWakeUpAtFiveByMyselfButWillThenFallBackToSleep
#TheOtherDayIReallyFanciedChipsWithCurrySauceWhichIHadAndItWasGreat
#ItMayHaveBeenACravingOrItMayJustHaveBeenANormalFoodFancy
#IfIWatchAnythingThatShowsFoodInItBeforeGoingToBedIGetSoHungry
#BSaysDuckALotNowWhichIsQuiteCute
#SometimesSheSeemsToSayYuckWhichIsFunny
#TalkingOfBirdsThoughHavingABlackbirdNestInTheGardenIsNotAsCoolAsIInitiallyThought
#AboutFourDaysAgoICouldHearLotsOfNoiseSoILookedOutTheWindowAfterAWhileAndIScaredAMagpieAwayFromTheNest
#IWasUpsetAndAssumedTheChicksWereAllDeadAndItPutMeInABadMood
#ISawTheParentsTheNextDayWithWhatLookedLikeFoodInTheirMouthButIThoughtThatMaybeTheyWereBuildingANewNest
#TheNextDayIWasNearbyAndIHeardCheepingThenSawABlackbirdFlyToTheNestAndIWasSoHappy
#ThenLaterThatDayIHeardMoreNoiseAndLookedOutOfTheWindowExpectingToSeeAMagpieButInsteadISawADeadChickOnTheFloor
#IDoNotKnowWhatHappenedButIHaveSeenNoActivityAroundTheNestSinceSoItMayHaveBeenTheLastChick
#NatureIsBeautifulNatureIsCruel
#TheDoctorCalledMeToAskMeQuestions
#HeHasPutDownMyLastPeriodAs6WeeksAgoButIReallyDoThinkIAmTenWeeks
#ThoughNowIAmStartingToDoubtMyselfAsWouldIHaveHadAPeriodSixWeeksAgoIfIWasPregnant
#IGuessItWillBeAWhileUntilIHaveAScanSoWeShallHaveToSee
#HeSaidItIsFineForMeToHaveAVaccinationAndNowIThinkUnderFortiesAreLimitedToWhichOnesTheyCanHaveAnyways
#HeWillReferMeToTheMidwifeServiceSoHopefullyIWillReceiveALetterFromThemSoon

#BHasBeenClosingHerEyesBeforeDoingLoudThingsForQuiteAWhile #ItUsedToBeThatBeforeSheDroppedHerCupFromHerHighchairSheWouldCloseThem

It makes me laugh, but I guess it is smart/sensible? Though it would be smarter if she covered her ears I guess…

#ILikeToSeeHowTallICanBuildATowerBeforeSheComesToKnockItOver

I will loudly count or say the colours out loud before she notices. It depends where we are as on some surfaces I can get it quite high, but it is a bit too dangerous so now I have to restrict it.

#TheBlocksBelongToTheWalkerThatSheHas #SheIsGettingReallyGoodWithItAndSomeDaysSheWillJustKeepGoingUpAndDownTheRoomWithIt #ThoughSheStillNeedsToLearnHowToTurnItRoundAsWeHaveToDoThatForHer

Some days we use it loads, some days we don’t. We should really be more consistent with it.

#SheIsAlsoGettingQuickerAtMovingAroundTheRoomWhileHoldingOntoFurniture

This morning she was going up and down the sofa pretty fast.

#IAmAlrightButJustFeelingQuiteSickForMostOfTheDay

I feel sick now. Fun times.

#ITryToDrinkWaterRegularlyAndEatOftenButMaybeItIsMoreDownToTiredness

I’m just at home most of the time so it means I can snack and drink well. I also eat breakfast earlier than I used to, which I am hoping might help but we’ll see. I am worried about going off my food like last time. Yesterday at dinner B was covered in food and it made me feel a bit sick.

#BKeepsWakingUpAroundFiveFortyAtTheMomentWhichIsNotMuchFun

The other day she had a two hour nap in the morning, yesterday she had forty minutes, so let’s see how well she naps today. I want to finish this then have a lie down…

#IOftenWakeUpAtFiveByMyselfButWillThenFallBackToSleep

This morning I could hear people outside at 5. I wasn’t sure if they drunk and still out, or maybe they were on their way to work.

#TheOtherDayIReallyFanciedChipsWithCurrySauceWhichIHadAndItWasGreat

Mmm.

#ItMayHaveBeenACravingOrItMayJustHaveBeenANormalFoodFancy

I fancy a lot of food at the moment. Hoping to get a falafel wrap today…

#IfIWatchAnythingThatShowsFoodInItBeforeGoingToBedIGetSoHungry

We’re been speed watching (1.25x if with Tiago or 1.5x by myself) some trashy stuff on Netflix, and if they eat I get realllllly hungry. I’m getting hungry now thinking about food and I had a good breakfast not long ago.

#BSaysDuckALotNowWhichIsQuiteCute

Duck duck duck duck duck.

#SometimesSheSeemsToSayYuckWhichIsFunny

I can’t wait until she says more.

#TalkingOfBirdsThoughHavingABlackbirdNestInTheGardenIsNotAsCoolAsIInitiallyThought

It’s been stressful/sad.

#AboutFourDaysAgoICouldHearLotsOfNoiseSoILookedOutTheWindowAfterAWhileAndIScaredAMagpieAwayFromTheNest #IWasUpsetAndAssumedTheChicksWereAllDeadAndItPutMeInABadMood

I had looked online to see if magpies will eat blackbird chicks and it said yeah. My Mum said there is less food for birds at the moment, so this also might be why.

#ISawTheParentsTheNextDayWithWhatLookedLikeFoodInTheirMouthButIThoughtThatMaybeTheyWereBuildingANewNest

Food or twigs? It looked like food.

#TheNextDayIWasNearbyAndIHeardCheepingThenSawABlackbirdFlyToTheNestAndIWasSoHappy

Sooo happy.

#ThenLaterThatDayIHeardMoreNoiseAndLookedOutOfTheWindowExpectingToSeeAMagpieButInsteadISawADeadChickOnTheFloor

🙁

#IDoNotKnowWhatHappenedButIHaveSeenNoActivityAroundTheNestSinceSoItMayHaveBeenTheLastChick

I felt bad. I was wishing that the blackbirds were able to communicate to me so that I would have been able to help them.

The pregnancy has been making me more emotional, so I really didn’t need a blackbird saga. The chick was a lot bigger than I thought it would be. I wonder if a magpie came, but then dropped it? I don’t know.

Luckily/sadly it was gone not long after, but I do not want to sit out there for a while.

#NatureIsBeautifulNatureIsCruel

I’ve really got into birds since living at my Nan’s house, but when I was pregnant I really liked to see the goslings, ducks and cygnets growing up by us in Liverpool.

#TheDoctorCalledMeToAskMeQuestions

I was worried that I would be waiting all day, but I had left some space at the bottom of my hashtags and I was starting to write my blog post.

#HeHasPutDownMyLastPeriodAs6WeeksAgoButIReallyDoThinkIAmTenWeeks

He said that I know my body better than him, but he has put 6 weeks anyways. I should have just given him the earlier date.

#ThoughNowIAmStartingToDoubtMyselfAsWouldIHaveHadAPeriodSixWeeksAgoIfIWasPregnant

The body is weird. Who knows. Maybe I am 6 weeks though.

(16th August: I was 6 weeks.)

#IGuessItWillBeAWhileUntilIHaveAScanSoWeShallHaveToSee

I am so impatient.

#HeSaidItIsFineForMeToHaveAVaccinationAndNowIThinkUnderFortiesAreLimitedToWhichOnesTheyCanHaveAnyways

‘If you’re under 40, you’ll only be shown appointments for the Pfizer/BioNTech or Moderna vaccines. If you’re 40 or over, you’ll be asked if you’re pregnant to make sure you’re only shown appointments for these vaccines.’

#HeWillReferMeToTheMidwifeServiceSoHopefullyIWillReceiveALetterFromThemSoon

I just read the hashtags from my pregnancy project that was not to be and it said he said to not expect to hear from them anytime soon, but I got a letter two days later. This time he didn’t say expect a wait, so we’ll see. Knowing my luck it will take 2 weeks.

6 weeks pregnant with B comparison:

The new picture doesn’t really show me pregnant as this project is a mix of pregnancy, and motherhood photos.

I'm lying on the living room floor in a dark pink top with my hair flowing down. My legs are bare and lifted off the ground with one foot supporting the other.
I Can Tell My Body Is Already Changing (6 weeks)

#WellWeHadBeenTryingToGetPregnantSinceTheStartOfTheYear
#WeHaveAWeddingToGoToInPortugalInJulyNextYearSoIThoughtWeShouldPauseThingsForABit
#ButTiagoSaidWeWereBetterOffTrying
#AndToBeFairIThoughtICouldNotGetPregnant
#EvenThoughIHadABloodTestAtOvulationOnceAndTheySaidAllWasGood
#SoIDecidedIWantedToBeLessStressedOutInLifeSoIStartedToMakeAnEffortToBeMoreRelaxed
#WhenMyPeriodWas4DaysLateIKnowSomethingWasUp
#SoIBoughtATest
#AndIForgotIWasGoingToDoOneSoIHadToKeepDrinkingWaterAndEventuallyIManagedToGetAResultFromTheDamnThing
#AndTheCrossCameUpPrettyQuickThen
#AndIWasNotThatSurprised
#IDidNotHaveMuchOfAReaction
#IWasJustRelievedToKnowICouldGetPregnant
#AndThenIJustGotRealStressedAboutWhatIfThingsGoWrong
#IDoNotKnowHowPeopleDealtWithPregnanciesPreInternet
#AnythingAndIAmCheckingIsThisNormal
#AnywaysICanTellMyBodyIsAlreadyChanging
#AndIHaveBeenFeelingSick
#MorningSicknessIsALieItStrikesAtAnytime
#ButItIsEarlyDaysForMeSoItIsNotYetThatBad
#IKnowINeedToEatMoreCalciumSoIAmIndulgingInCheddarOnSandwiches
#WasTryingToCutOutSugarButWasEatingChutneyAndPickleSoAmHavingMoreMarmiteThanThoseNow
#AndIAmGoingOffFoods
#LikeDaalOrDalOrDahlWhichWeEatAllTheTimeUsually
#AndMyFavouriteLunchOfASpicyBeanBurgerWithGherkinsTomatoesAndHoumousIsNotAsGreatAsItUsedToBe
#AndIHaveEatenThatWeeklyForYears
#AndIMeanYEARS
#AndICanNotDrinkMostOfMyLargeCollectionOfHerbalTeas
#AsEverythingHasLicoriceInIt
#SoItIsRooibosAndHoneybushEverydayForNowUntilIFindOtherOnes

I haven’t got back into drinking herbal tea since being pregnant with B, but I also drank more when I was in an office setting and I haven’t been in one of those since before England’s first lockdown.

We ended up having two weddings to go to, but one got postponed and one got cancelled (they’ve got married). I’m still stressed that things could go wrong, but B is a big distraction this time. She also makes time go by fast, though the days are long.

I have been noticing my body changes and of course I couldn’t help but notice the sick feelings, but it is different this time with having B around.


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Categories
Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Imitating B Watching The Washing Machine (1st May 2021)

A washing machine is on, my right hand is on the window, you can see part of my face reflected in the metallic surface of the machine and my nose can be seen in the top left hand corner.
Imitating B Watching The Washing Machine (1st May 2021)
 
#IfWeCanNotFindBThereIsAGoodChanceThatSheIsByTheWashingMachine
#PressingAllTheButtonsToSeeIfSheCanGetThemToMakeASound
#IfICallHerAndSheDoesNotComeThenIUsuallyOpenTheDishwasherAndSheQuicklyAppears
#ThisMorningSheKnockedOverACupOfColdCoffeeAndTiagosLaptopScreenWillNotWork
#NotLongBeforeIHadMovedNansCupsAroundToDecreaseTheRiskOfKnockingThemOver
#ThenTiagoPutHisCupOnTheTableWithHisLaptopNearbyAndThereYouGo
#BsWordRangeHasIncreasedToHerJustSayingDadAllTheTimeNow
#SheWokeUpWithASnottyColdYesterdaySoItHasBeenFunChasingHerAroundAfterHerAllTheTimeWithATissue
#IHaveNotTakenHerForAWalkInTwoDaysButTheWeatherHasBeenQuiteRubbish
#WeWentToTheSupermarketLastNightWhichSeemsToBeOurNewWeeklyFamilyTime
#SheIsEatingMoreOfOurMealsNowAndFeedingHerselfMoreWhichIsNice
#ItJustMakesThingsSoMuchEasier
#IAmLookingForwardToMoreThingsReopeningLikeSoftPlayPlaces
#ItWillBeNiceToTakeHerOutToFunActivitiesAndItIsBetterNowThatIAmConfidentAboutHerEatingOutsideTheHouse
#TheOtherDayWeWereAllInTheBathroomAndBStoodUpFromTheFloorWithoutHoldingOntoAnything
#ItMightHaveBeenBecauseSheWasSoBoredInThereButSheDidItAFewTimes
#MyNanSaidSheDidItYesterdayInTheLivingRoomButItIsNotARegularThingYet
#InOtherNewsIHaveBookedADrivingTheoryTest
#IHaveNotTriedToDriveSince2010WhenIWasTryingToPassMyTestBeforeMovingToLondon
#IRanOutOfTimeAndDueToNotNeedingToDriveInLondonAndConfidenceIssuesIDidNotKeepItUp
#IHaveThoughtAboutItOverTheYearsIncludingWhenWeLivedInLiverpool
#InLiverpoolIWentSoFarAsToBuyATheoryAppButNeverEvenOpenedIt
#ThenAfterBWasBornISaidIWantedToLearnToDriveButThenThePandemicHasDraggedOn
#LessonsHaveStartedUpAgainNowButNoOneHasAvailabilityAtTheMoment
#AndAllOfTheTestCentresAreFullyBookedUntilOctoberApparently
#ARidiculousNumberOfPeopleAreWaitingToTakeTheirTests
#SoIMightAsWellGetTheTheoryPartDoneAndThenTryToGetLessonsWhenICan
#IFeelLikeIAmRubbishWithSpatialAwarenessAndManoeuvresButIMightHaveMagicallyGainedSomeSkillsIn10PlusYearsOfNotDriving
#IThinkConfidenceIsABigPartOfItAllAndIDidNotHaveMuchThatLongAgo
#TiagoSaysHeFindsItWeirdThatISayIDoNotHaveTheConfidenceToDriveButCanTalkInFrontOf100PlusPeople

(6th June: A bit of a different picture. No flash as the space is too small to have my usual softbox, I’ve messed so many times with the colour of the image and it’s probably still wrong. Debated cropping my nose out but I quite like it.)

#IfWeCanNotFindBThereIsAGoodChanceThatSheIsByTheWashingMachine

It is usually the first place I look if I’ve turned my back and she’s crawled off.

#PressingAllTheButtonsToSeeIfSheCanGetThemToMakeASound

Changing the temperature, changing the spin, pausing it, trying to get any reaction from it.

#IfICallHerAndSheDoesNotComeThenIUsuallyOpenTheDishwasherAndSheQuicklyAppears

I might have mentioned it before. If she doesn’t respond to the noise of it opening then you know she is really engrossed by something.

#ThisMorningSheKnockedOverACupOfColdCoffeeAndTiagosLaptopScreenWillNotWork

Whoops.

#NotLongBeforeIHadMovedNansCupsAroundToDecreaseTheRiskOfKnockingThemOver

Nan likes to put her cups/glasses on a table mat and B likes to just pull the mat and anything that is on it. I am often monitoring the room for things that B can knock over.

#ThenTiagoPutHisCupOnTheTableWithHisLaptopNearbyAndThereYouGo

I was making dance videos so I wasn’t in the room to see the cup/B going towards it. Fail.

#BsWordRangeHasIncreasedToHerJustSayingDadAllTheTimeNow

I mainly just hear Dada and Dad all day.

#SheWokeUpWithASnottyColdYesterdaySoItHasBeenFunChasingHerAroundAfterHerAllTheTimeWithATissue

I could have imitated how B looked when she woke up yesterday morning, but it wouldn’t have been very delightful – dried snot on her nose.

#IHaveNotTakenHerForAWalkInTwoDaysButTheWeatherHasBeenQuiteRubbish

And I’ve been tired. Plus with her cold I did not really want to take her out yesterday. When I thought about taking her out it rained…

#WeWentToTheSupermarketLastNightWhichSeemsToBeOurNewWeeklyFamilyTime

Though we need to start planning meals the night before, not just as we are about to leave/are in the car.

#SheIsEatingMoreOfOurMealsNowAndFeedingHerselfMoreWhichIsNice

I try to make most meals be things where she can feed herself now. Yesterday I tried to turn her porridge into pancakes. They didn’t turn out as well as I hoped but they still tasted good and B fed herself.

#ItJustMakesThingsSoMuchEasier

It’s nice to get on and do other things like clean up, make food, eat etc while she eats.

#IAmLookingForwardToMoreThingsReopeningLikeSoftPlayPlaces

I have been looking at places to take her.

#ItWillBeNiceToTakeHerOutToFunActivitiesAndItIsBetterNowThatIAmConfidentAboutHerEatingOutsideTheHouse

A lot of kids places have cafes so we can get lunch there. It’ll be nice to have a change of scenery.

#TheOtherDayWeWereAllInTheBathroomAndBStoodUpFromTheFloorWithoutHoldingOntoAnything

I was super surprised.

#ItMightHaveBeenBecauseSheWasSoBoredInThereButSheDidItAFewTimes

We were just brushing our teeth and chilling while she watched us.

#MyNanSaidSheDidItYesterdayInTheLivingRoomButItIsNotARegularThingYet

She can not stand up for very long by herself yet but she is getting there.

#InOtherNewsIHaveBookedADrivingTheoryTest

I was going to try to study without booking a test yet, but I needed to book it as otherwise there would be no incentive to study.

#IHaveNotTriedToDriveSince2010WhenIWasTryingToPassMyTestBeforeMovingToLondon #IRanOutOfTimeAndDueToNotNeedingToDriveInLondonAndConfidenceIssuesIDidNotKeepItUp

I can not remember how many tests I failed. I tried to learn a few years before that too, but never did a test or my theory back then.

Now I’m kicking myself for not just trying to pass in London, but when I first moved there I was too scared to even get on a bus.

#IHaveThoughtAboutItOverTheYearsIncludingWhenWeLivedInLiverpool

I should have just done it as soon as I moved there. Oh well.

#InLiverpoolIWentSoFarAsToBuyATheoryAppButNeverEvenOpenedIt

Luckily I have it for now and it seems good. I have forgotten most of what I learned 10 years ago, but the test seems quite easy to revise for.

#ThenAfterBWasBornISaidIWantedToLearnToDriveButThenThePandemicHasDraggedOn

We went to a garden party and just before we went in I randomly said ‘I want to learn to drive’. It was during the early days of B when I was randomly feeling confident.

#LessonsHaveStartedUpAgainNowButNoOneHasAvailabilityAtTheMoment

I messaged 4 people.

#AndAllOfTheTestCentresAreFullyBookedUntilOctoberApparently

Great.

#ARidiculousNumberOfPeopleAreWaitingToTakeTheirTests

This article says 420,000 people are waiting for tests. How many of thoes people will need to retake the test?

#SoIMightAsWellGetTheTheoryPartDoneAndThenTryToGetLessonsWhenICan

I’d like to have a few lessons before I try to learn with Tiago – just to gain a bit of confidence by being in a car with dual controls first.

#IFeelLikeIAmRubbishWithSpatialAwarenessAndManoeuvresButIMightHaveMagicallyGainedSomeSkillsIn10PlusYearsOfNotDriving

I doubt it, but hopefully things will make more sense this time round.

#IThinkConfidenceIsABigPartOfItAllAndIDidNotHaveMuchThatLongAgo

I just need to not care what other people in their car think of me, and just get on with it.

#TiagoSaysHeFindsItWeirdThatISayIDoNotHaveTheConfidenceToDriveButCanTalkInFrontOf100PlusPeople

When I started to do improv comedy I thought something similar. It’s a skill that I’ll need in the future and it’ll make my life easier, so I’ll just try to do it asap. Not long ago I debated finding a TV show that was looking for learner drivers – I just had a search online and apparently a woman took 26 tests before she passed. That’ll be me…


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Categories
Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Imitating B Chewing On A Wet Flannel (28th April 2021)

Me with my hair up, holding a light blue flannel in both hands and putting part of it in my mouth. I am wearing a grey dress with black polka dots and am sat against a plain wall.
Imitating B Chewing On A Wet Flannel (28th April 2021)
 
#IAmSurprisedThatIsHasTakenMeThisLongToGetRoundToImitatingBChewingOnAWetFlannel
#AfterAMealIUsuallyWetAFlannelATryToWashHerFace
#HoweverSheJustWantsToChewOnItAsIGuessItMustFeelNiceForHerEverTeethingGums
#IBetWhenSheIsOlderBWillCallMeOutChoosingNotToShowHerFullFaceButDecidingToShareThingsLikeThis
#FairPlayFutureB
#SheHasStartedToSayGaGaMoreNow
#YesterdayWeGotSentAQuestionnaireToFillInAboutHerDevelopment
#AHealthVisitorWouldUsuallyVisitHerAround9To12MonthsToDoItButBecauseOfCovidTheyAreNotDoingItFaceToFace
#ThereAreQuestionsAboutCommunicationGrossMotorSkillsFineMotorSkillsProblemSolvingPersonalSkillsAndSocialSkills
#IThinkBNowDoesMostOfTheThingsThatItTalksAboutButIAmWorriedAboutFillingItInWrong
#ItIsShameThatSomeoneCanNotJustComeRoundAndDoItButIDoNotHaveAnyConcernsAboutHer
#LastWeekIWasWorriedThatSheWasTooHotInTheNightAndNowIThinkSheHasBeenTooCold
#SheWasAwakeForAnHourAndAHalfTheOtherNightButWentBackToSleepAfterIPutHerHeaterOn
#ItWasEitherThatThatFixedItOrItWasACoincidence
#IGotABitEmotionalYesterdaySeeingBHavingFunWithBabiesHerOwnAge
#WeHadAPicnicWithAMotherAndBabyFromOneOfHerClassesAndItWasReallyNice
#ThenSheWasJustCrawlingAroundAndInteractingWithBabiesInHerClass
#ThisIsHowItShouldHaveBeenTheWholeTimeSheHasBeenAliveButOhWell
#TheTeacherSaidThatTheyLearnTheConceptOfSharingAtFourWhichWeAllSighedAt
#ButReadingOnlineAnArticleSaysTheyReallyWantThingsToBeFairByTheTimeTheyAreSevenOrEight
#SoPlentyMoreYearsOfApologisingForBGrabbingToysAwayFromOtherKidsGreat
#MyAuntCameRoundToVisitUsAndBWasNotHappyAboutIt
#ThoughAgainAfterAWhileSheWasFineInHerCompanySoItIsGoodToKnowItIsJustAboutPerseverance
#IWasFeelingABitDownTheOtherDayAgainAndThenIRealisedThatTiagoHasNotHadAWeekOffSinceTheStartOfOctober
#NoWonderWeAreAllTired
#HeHasFinallyBookedAWeekOffInAMonthOrSoSoItIsNiceToHaveSomethingToCountDownTo
#INeedToWorkToBeMorePresentWhenIAmWithB
#ICompletedASurveyAboutSocialMediaTheOtherDayAndItAskedMeAboutMyMoodsWhenUsingIt
#IWasReallyNegativeAboutAllOfItSoINeedToUseItAndMyPhoneALotLess
#IWantToBeABetterMotherToBAndIWantToFeelHappier

#IAmSurprisedThatIsHasTakenMeThisLongToGetRoundToImitatingBChewingOnAWetFlannel

She has been doing it for a while.

#AfterAMealIUsuallyWetAFlannelATryToWashHerFace

Pretty standard.

#HoweverSheJustWantsToChewOnItAsIGuessItMustFeelNiceForHerEverTeethingGums

It makes sense. Yesterday she tried to teeth on my arm and it just hurt because of her one little sharp tooth.

#IBetWhenSheIsOlderBWillCallMeOutChoosingNotToShowHerFullFaceButDecidingToShareThingsLikeThis

Probably. I do wonder what she will think of this project, I do worry what she will think of this project. I hope she just finds it funny.

#FairPlayFutureB

I would say it’s your own fault for chewing on a flannel all the time, but you’ll probably just say ‘Mum, I was a baby I didn’t know any better!’

Fair play future B.

#SheHasStartedToSayGaGaMoreNow

Did I play Radio Ga Ga a few times this morning after B said it? Yes I did.

#YesterdayWeGotSentAQuestionnaireToFillInAboutHerDevelopment #AHealthVisitorWouldUsuallyVisitHerAround9To12MonthsToDoItButBecauseOfCovidTheyAreNotDoingItFaceToFace #ThereAreQuestionsAboutCommunicationGrossMotorSkillsFineMotorSkillsProblemSolvingPersonalSkillsAndSocialSkills #IThinkBNowDoesMostOfTheThingsThatItTalksAboutButIAmWorriedAboutFillingItInWrong

All the questions. It is a bit stressful. I started to do it, but I will wait until the weekend when Tiago is available to assess too.

#ItIsShameThatSomeoneCanNotJustComeRoundAndDoItButIDoNotHaveAnyConcernsAboutHer

It says if they don’t hear from us in 2 weeks then they will assume we have no worries.

(1st June: I didn’t bother finishing it in in the end as I was so pissed off that our friends in Liverpool have health visitors coming to them, and I don’t have any concerns about B’s development anyways.)

#LastWeekIWasWorriedThatSheWasTooHotInTheNightAndNowIThinkSheHasBeenTooCold

The joy never ends.

#SheWasAwakeForAnHourAndAHalfTheOtherNightButWentBackToSleepAfterIPutHerHeaterOn #ItWasEitherThatThatFixedItOrItWasACoincidence

We’d changed her nappy, given her paracetamol, given her water etc. Her room didn’t feel that cold, but it was 5am and we wanted to sleep so I thought it was worth a go.

#IGotABitEmotionalYesterdaySeeingBHavingFunWithBabiesHerOwnAge

I got a bit emotional writing this and thinking about it again.

#WeHadAPicnicWithAMotherAndBabyFromOneOfHerClassesAndItWasReallyNice

Just a normal thing that felt like a big deal.

#ThenSheWasJustCrawlingAroundAndInteractingWithBabiesInHerClass

I felt like we were sat in the cheeky corner as they were all just getting up to mischief. There are a lot of younger babies and B was looking at them, which was sweet.

#ThisIsHowItShouldHaveBeenTheWholeTimeSheHasBeenAliveButOhWell

I know a couple of them are starting nursery soon, so we’ll need to find some new friends in the class. People seem nice though so I’m sure it will be fine. The class is great and we all have a laugh which is really good.

#TheTeacherSaidThatTheyLearnTheConceptOfSharingAtFourWhichWeAllSighedAt

Sighed and groaned and lots of other negative reactions.

#ButReadingOnlineAnArticleSaysTheyReallyWantThingsToBeFairByTheTimeTheyAreSevenOrEight

I remember being about 6 in the playground and being like ‘Who wants to play Aladdin? I’ll be Jasmine.’ Someone would complain. ‘Okay, let’s play Beauty and the Beast. I’ll be Belle’. Then we moved and I became the shy kid.

#SoPlentyMoreYearsOfApologisingForBGrabbingToysAwayFromOtherKidsGreat

Luckily they don’t seem to mind about it so much yet.

#MyAuntCameRoundToVisitUsAndBWasNotHappyAboutIt

She was CRYING. Trying to look at her, then hiding and crying.

#ThoughAgainAfterAWhileSheWasFineInHerCompanySoItIsGoodToKnowItIsJustAboutPerseverance

It did take some time, but I guess she realises that we aren’t concerned and so feels fine. At classes she will go and sit next to someone else and forget about me, but I guess my Nan’s house and garden is her territory so she doesn’t like other people randomly coming along. Fair enough.

#IWasFeelingABitDownTheOtherDayAgainAndThenIRealisedThatTiagoHasNotHadAWeekOffSinceTheStartOfOctober #NoWonderWeAreAllTired

I can’t believe it’s been that long, but it does feel like forever ago.

#HeHasFinallyBookedAWeekOffInAMonthOrSoSoItIsNiceToHaveSomethingToCountDownTo

It’ll be nice to do some things as a family and B will be older so she will probably appreciate going to a farm or something. She does seem to like animals, but so do most kids her age I imagine.

#INeedToWorkToBeMorePresentWhenIAmWithB

I complain about being a bad mother, but I need to work on being better. It’s hard when I am tired, but I feel better when I feel like she is enjoying herself.

#ICompletedASurveyAboutSocialMediaTheOtherDayAndItAskedMeAboutMyMoodsWhenUsingIt #IWasReallyNegativeAboutAllOfItSoINeedToUseItAndMyPhoneALotLess

I had already decided that I was going to go on Instagram less and that just showed why I should go on it less. I really get little from it, which seems weird to say considering this whole project is built around the maximum number of hashtags that you can post on a post on Instagram.

#IWantToBeABetterMotherToBAndIWantToFeelHappier

I am tired and B will hopefully nap for another hour. I think I’m going to play a game of online Minesweeper then have a little rest and read a bit of the fourth Narnia book. I should probably just do the shoot now, but I might wait until B is having her second nap.

(1st June: I think B woke up 5 minutes after I finishing writing this, and I did the shoot during her second nap.)


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