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Oh Me, Oh Mãe

This Is Supposed To Be A Picture Of My Cannula Mark (13th August 2020)

I was just going to call the photo ‘Cannula’, but that was a bit dull. This title is perhaps dull too – it should probably have been called ‘Find The Cannula Mark’. Can you?

This Is Supposed To Be A Picture Of My Cannula Mark (13th August 2020)
 
#ThisIsTheShootIHadInMindButIEndedUpTakingPicturesOfMeInMyWhiteBraWithMyBreastPadsShowing
#IAmUsingUpMyThrowAwayOnesAsIDoNotLikeMyWashableOnesAndNeedToBuySomeOtherOnes
#IWasSupposedToSayAllThisOnThatPictureButOhWell
#Cannula
#IHadToCheckTheSpellingAsIWasNotSure
#IThoughtItWasCanulaOrCandulaOrCanelaOrSomething
#IKeptCallingItACatheterAtOnePoint
#AFactIsThatCanelaIsPortugueseForCinnamon
#AnywaysIHadACannulaPutInMyWristWhilstInTheDeliverySuiteBeforeIStartedToPush
#IGuessInCaseTheyWantedToAdministerDrugsQuicklyForWhateverReason
#ItEndedUpStayingThereForQuiteAWhile
#MaybeUntilTheFourthDayOfHospital
#ItGotReallyAnnoyingAndIKeptKnockingIt
#ThereWasABigScabButItCameOffAndNowThereIsAMark
#ICalledItAScarBeforeAndMaybeItIsOrMaybeItIsNot
#TheReasonWhyIDecidedToPhotographItIsItHasBeenHotLatelyAndItIsStartingToItch
#MaybeThisMeansItIsHealingButMaybeItMeansItCaughtTheSunABit
#ItIsNotThatVisibleInThePhotoThoughIGuess
#WellItIsTheOnlyMarkOnMyWrist
#OtherVisibleMarksOnMyHandAndWristsAreMolesWithABirthmarkAlsoCreepingIntoFrame
#BDoesNotSeemToHaveAnyBirthmarks
#IHaveAlwaysLovedHandPhotosSoIGuessThisFitsWithMyLove
#AllThePicturesFromTheShootLookVerySimilar
#ThereWereMoreThanNecessaryToGoThroughButTheyWereEasyToDeleteAsMyHandWasInTheWrongPositionInMostOfThem
#NotCentralEnoughOrTooFarDownOrTooHighUp
#ThisIsTheProblemWithPhotographingYourselfByYourself
#ThoughIAmSureALotOfOtherSelfPortraiturePeopleAreProsWithItAll
#IAlsoHadNotPhotographedThisCannulaMarkWhichIsWhyIWantedToPhotographIt
#MaybeItWillGoSoonOrMaybeItWillHangAround
#INeedToHaveALittleNapBeforeBWakesUp
 

#ThisIsTheShootIHadInMindButIEndedUpTakingPicturesOfMeInMyWhiteBraWithMyBreastPadsShowing

See my previous post.

#IAmUsingUpMyThrowAwayOnesAsIDoNotLikeMyWashableOnesAndNeedToBuySomeOtherOnes

I have since bought some other ones. We rarely tumble-dry our clothes, but reading reviews of other breast pads they said that they went bad as they just air dry them. That solves the mystery of why they started to smell not so great…

Pregnancy is all about the bump, and if you breastfeed then early motherhood is all about the boobs…

#Cannula
#IHadToCheckTheSpellingAsIWasNotSure
#IThoughtItWasCanulaOrCandulaOrCanelaOrSomething
#IKeptCallingItACatheterAtOnePoint

It’s called a cannula, I know that now.

#AFactIsThatCanelaIsPortugueseForCinnamon

I always love when my hashtags present an opportunity for a Portuguese lesson.

#AnywaysIHadACannulaPutInMyWristWhilstInTheDeliverySuiteBeforeIStartedToPush
#IGuessInCaseTheyWantedToAdministerDrugsQuicklyForWhateverReason

I’m sure it’s protocol, but as they were worried that B’s head would get stuck as she was delivered breach they might have thought that it would need to be used. It didn’t.

#ItEndedUpStayingThereForQuiteAWhile
#MaybeUntilTheFourthDayOfHospital
#ItGotReallyAnnoyingAndIKeptKnockingIt

I asked once if I could have it taken out, but they said no as it might still need to be used. It didn’t.

#ThereWasABigScabButItCameOffAndNowThereIsAMark
#ICalledItAScarBeforeAndMaybeItIsOrMaybeItIsNot

I’m in my 30s and I should know what the definition of a scar is. I don’t want to lie about whether things are a mark or a scar! I checked the definition and it says that it’s a mark that is left after an injury has healed. So I guess a scar or a mark works. Yes, I do need a nap. Maybe it will fade away though.

#TheReasonWhyIDecidedToPhotographItIsItHasBeenHotLatelyAndItIsStartingToItch
#MaybeThisMeansItIsHealingButMaybeItMeansItCaughtTheSunABit

I did think about photographing it before, but it took me a while to get round to it. It itched for a couple of days then stopped. Delightful.

#ItIsNotThatVisibleInThePhotoThoughIGuess
#WellItIsTheOnlyMarkOnMyWrist

I kind of like it in a weird way. It’s a reminder of that strange time where I ended up in hospital for 4 nights after thinking I’d have a homebirth or at least a waterbirth. Nope.

#OtherVisibleMarksOnMyHandAndWristsAreMolesWithABirthmarkAlsoCreepingIntoFrame
#BDoesNotSeemToHaveAnyBirthmarks

I originally wrote that I was a little sad that she doesn’t have one, but then I thought that maybe they are caused by painful/not nice things. I don’t know. I did research a bit, but my brain is too tired right now. I have at least 3 birthmarks I think. I don’t think about them much, but I do get reminded of them in photos from time to time.

I’ve been asked at appointments a few times if she has birthmarks. Early on I felt like I hadn’t really looked at her body enough to know, which then I thought maybe I should have. I find it weird when I see her back with no clothes on – that sounds odd.

The hashtags also fail to mention the heat blisters that you can see on my fingers. Fun times.

#IHaveAlwaysLovedHandPhotosSoIGuessThisFitsWithMyLove

I love posing hands in photographs; they can really change the look of an image. I made a project in Watford where the poses are all about the hands.

#AllThePicturesFromTheShootLookVerySimilar
#ThereWereMoreThanNecessaryToGoThroughButTheyWereEasyToDeleteAsMyHandWasInTheWrongPositionInMostOfThem
#NotCentralEnoughOrTooFarDownOrTooHighUp

I had some trouble choosing between the few that were in a better position.

#ThisIsTheProblemWithPhotographingYourselfByYourself
#ThoughIAmSureALotOfOtherSelfPortraiturePeopleAreProsWithItAll

I’m sure some people get quite into the positioning and focus element of it all, but I just do a lot of trial and error.

#IAlsoHadNotPhotographedThisCannulaMarkWhichIsWhyIWantedToPhotographIt
#MaybeItWillGoSoonOrMaybeItWillHangAround

Oh yeah I said this earlier on. I don’t have any tattoos, but I thought about getting something around it. I won’t.

#INeedToHaveALittleNapBeforeBWakesUp

I love how I put this on the end. Did I have a nap? No. Would I like one now? Yes.

Today I’ve been working on noticing B’s sleepy cues more. I only realised yesterday (via this instagram post) that when her eyebrows go pink/red, it means she is tired. I thought it was a skin problem or something… I’ve been trying to get her to have a nap every 60-90 minutes today and I’m finishing this post as she is in her cot next to me drifting off to napland. Or so it appears. Fingers crossed!


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