Categories
Pregnancy Waiting II

Portrait Of A Mother Of A Fifteen Month Old (20 Weeks / 16th September 2021)

Self-portrait in B's tent. I'm leaning on my elbows in the doorway with my fingers pushing in my cheeks.
Portrait Of A Mother Of A Fifteen Month Old (20 Weeks / 16th September 2021)
 
#AfterALotOfLaptopStressInTheLastWeekWithItChargingThenNotItIsNoMore
#SoIAmWritingThisFromTiagosWhereTheSKeyDoesNotWorkAndIHavePasteItInEveryTimeIWantIt
#ICanNotBelieveThatIAm20WeeksAlready
#LastNightIHadATerribleLegCrampForTheFirstTimeInAgesAndIThinkItWasDueToBeingDehydrated
#IWasSoTiredTheOtherDayThatILayDownForANapDuringHerSecondNapWhichIUsuallyDoButThenOversleptBy40Minutes
#LuckilyIPutBToBedJust10MinutesLaterThanUsualAndSheWokeUpAt7InTheMorning
#IAmTryingToMakeMyLifeEasierByLettingBCrawlInAndOutOfHerCotViaTheZippedEntrance
#SheHasDefinitelyChangedALotInTheLastWeekOrTwo
#SheHasStartedToSlideOutOfHerPushchairWhenIPutHerInItSoINowHaveToReclineItToBabyModeWhenItIsTimeToGo
#SheDoesNotComplainOnceSheIsBuckledInAtLeast
#BLovesHerNewShoesAndWandersAroundThePlaygroundInThemNow
#SheSeemsToWalkInThemWellAndHerNewFavouriteThingToDoIsJustShakeTheChainAtTheBottomOfAClimbingWall
#TheOtherDaySheKeptOpeningALittleDrawerInTheLivingRoomThatCouldFallOutAndHurtHer
#TAndIKeptSayingNoAndWhenISayNoSheLooksAtMeLikeIAmTheMeanestPersonOnThePlanet
#InTheEndWeTurnedItRoundAndWhenSheNoticedSheWasPuzzledFor5SecondsAndThenMovedOntoSomethingElse
#SheHasAPatchOfDrySkinOnTheBackOfHerNeckWhichWasWorryingMeButThenIRealisedItIsBecauseSheLikesToPutEverythingAroundHerNeck
#ItIsNotTheBestHabitForHerToHaveSoWeHaveToBeReallyCareful
#SheLikesToHoldThingsSoTheyTouchTheBackOfHerNeckRatherThanGoAllTheWayRoundAtLeast
#SheHasStartedToHelpHerselfToFruitFromTheFruitBowlAndYesterdayManagedToEatMostOfAnAppleThroughoutTheDay
#YouCanSeeThatSheHasAMouthfulOfTeethNowButTheAppleWasQuiteSoftWhichExplainsWhySheWasNotStruggling
#ThisLackOfSKeyIsReallyAnnoying
#BHasAlwaysLovedMusicButItShowsMoreLatelyWhenASongEndsAndSheMakesANoiseAsIfToSayWhyHasTheMusicStopped
#IAmWorriedAboutCovidAndThingsGettingBadAgain
#IFeelABitDividedAboutBoosterShotsAsItSeemsABitUnfairOnALotOfCountriesButIWillAlsoFeelMoreRelievedWhenNanGetsHers
#WeWentToBsToddlerClassAgainAndAtTheFirstOneIDidNotWearAMaskButIDidAtThisOne
#IKnowOnlyMeWearingAMaskDoesNotDoMuchGoodButIFeelSlightlyMoreProtected
#IDoNotWantBsClassesToGetCancelledAgainIfCasesIncreaseButPerhapsItWillBeEasierToAttendOnlineIfItIsAfterBabyXIsBorn
#SheKeptHerDistanceFromTheOtherKidsAndWasQuiteHappyStandingByHerselfWithAMaraca
#ItMustBeOverwhelmingForHerSuddenlyBeingAroundOlderKidsSoAsLongAsSheEnjoysHerselfIDoNotMind
#SheLovesToWatchTheOlderKidsInThePlaygroundSoMaybeSheJustNeedsABitMoreTimeBeforeSheJoinsIn

#AfteraLotOfLaptopStressInTheLastWeekWithItChargingThenNotItIsNoMore

It was struggling to charge, so I got a new charger and then that confirmed that it was my laptop that had the problem… A replacement will hopefully arrive in the next few days.

#SoIAmWritingThisFromTiagosWhereTheSKeyDoesNotWorkAndIHavePasteItInEveryTimeIWantIt

It makes for slow and frustrating work. Maybe it will be a shorter entry than normal.

#ICanNotBelieveThatIAm20WeeksAlready

I have my 20 week scan coming up. I am excited but nervous.

#LastNightIHadATerribleLegCrampForTheFirstTimeInAgesAndIThinkItWasDueToBeingDehydrated

I did feel really thirsty. It is so painful.

#IWasSoTiredTheOtherDayThatILayDownForANapDuringHerSecondNapWhichIUsuallyDoButThenOversleptBy40Minutes

I think my alarm had gone off but I was so disorientated that I went back to sleep and then woke up 40 minutes later and went ‘whoops’. The alarm clock in our room has weirdly disappeared while we were on holiday, but every one says they have not touched it. Weird.

#LuckilyIPutBToBedJust10MinutesLaterThanUsualAndSheWokeUpAt7InTheMorning

Phew. I did not want to put her to bed much later, and I was worried that she would wake up at 6 or something.

She has been making noises at 5 or 6 some days but she tends to go back to sleep until 6:45 or 7. Phew.

#IAmTryingToMakeMyLifeEasierByLettingBCrawlInAndOutOfHerCotViaTheZippedEntrance

I do not want to have to lift her up more times than necessary.

#SheHasDefinitelyChangedALotInTheLastWeekOrTwo

She seems more grown up or acts older at times.

#SheHasStartedToSlideOutOfHerPushchairWhenIPutHerInItSoINowHaveToReclineItToBabyModeWhenItIsTimeToGo

A bit of a tantrum. This seems to be the easiest way to deal with it, where we both do not get too stressed or annoyed.

#SheDoesNotComplainOnceSheIsBuckledInAtLeast

I think kids get distracted quite quickly.

#BLovesHerNewShoesAndWandersAroundThePlaygroundInThemNow #SheSeemsToWalkInThemWellAndHerNewFavouriteThingToDoIsJustShakeTheChainAtTheBottomOfAClimbingWall

Considering she had not worn shoes for three or more weeks she walk really well in them. she likes to play with the velcro too…

She likes to rattle the chain as it makes a loud noise. it is fine as long as long as no older kids are waiting to climb.

#TheOtherDaySheKeptOpeningALittleDrawerInTheLivingRoomThatCouldFallOutAndHurtHer #TAndIKeptSayingNoAndWhenISayNoSheLooksAtMeLikeIAmTheMeanestPersonOnThePlanet

The way her lip curls (I think that’s the right term?) and she looks at me. I only say no if she is doing something dangerous, so I do not feel too bad about it. She does not give T the same look though…

#InTheEndWeTurnedItRoundAndWhenSheNoticedSheWasPuzzledFor5SecondsAndThenMovedOntoSomethingElse

There is always something else for her to be meddling with…

#SheHasAPatchOfDrySkinOnTheBackOfHerNeckWhichWasWorryingMeButThenIRealisedItIsBecauseSheLikesToPutEverythingAroundHerNeck

Which likely explains it, so I have been putting cream on it whenever I remember.

#ItIsNotTheBestHabitForHerToHaveSoWeHaveToBeReallyCareful

We can not seem to stop her doing it.

#SheLikesToHoldThingsSoTheyTouchTheBackOfHerNeckRatherThanGoAllTheWayRoundAtLeast

I am worried that she might suffocate herself. I can see how it is easily done…

#SheHasStartedToHelpHerselfToFruitFromTheFruitBowlAndYesterdayManagedToEatMostOfAnAppleThroughoutTheDay

She took a bit out of it though and then was keen to bite all the other ones.

#YouCanSeeThatSheHasAMouthfulOfTeethNowButTheAppleWasQuiteSoftWhichExplainsWhySheWasNotStruggling

I was impressed but also worried that she was going to break all her teeth.

#ThisLackOfSKeyIsReallyAnnoying

–make s hashtag capital —

I am going to have to make all the capital s’ bigger when I post this. It is too much effort. (Going through this in mid-October I have had to capitalise so many s’.)

#BHasAlwaysLovedMusicButItShowsMoreLatelyWhenASongEndsAndSheMakesANoiseAsIfToSayWhyHasTheMusicStopped

We listen to a good mix of classic, and then Vicky Arlidge – her favourite nursery rhyme singer.

#IAmWorriedAboutCovidAndThingsGettingBadAgain

Oh, the C word appears again.

#IFeelABitDividedAboutBoosterShotsAsItSeemsaBitUnfairOnALotOfCountriesButIWillAlsoFeelMoreRelievedWhenNanGetsHers

It does seem unfair to be getting them already, but people like my Nan are starting to get more vulnerable again.

#WeWentToBsToddlerClassAgainAndAtTheFirstOneIDidNotWearaMaskButIDidAtThisOne

I decided to not wear one when I saw no one else was, but then I spent the whole class feeling uncomfortable. With this one, someone else walked in wearing one, but then took it off. I felt awkard being the only person wearing one – in case people thought I was ill or something. Oh well.

#IKnowOnlyMeWearingAMaskDoesNotDoMuchGoodButIFeelSlightlyMoreProtected

I am basically protecting everyone from me, but I’m not that protected from them. Fun time.

#IDoNotWantBsClassesToGetCancelledAgainIfCasesIncreaseButPerhapsItWillBeEasierToAttendOnlineIfItIsAfterBabyXIsBorn

It is what it is, and we will just have to deal with it. I am not looking forward to the winter.

#SheKeptHerDistanceFromTheOtherKidsAndWasQuiteHappyStandingByHerselfWithAMaraca

The other kids are mostly older and have lots of energy and can talk, and respond more.

#ItMustBeOverwhelmingForHerSuddenlyBeingAroundOlderKidsSoAsLongAsSheEnjoysHerselfIDoNotMind

It is her class, so she can do what she wants. she is not hurting anyone, so it is fine.

#SheLovesToWatchTheOlderKidsInThePlaygroundSoMaybeSheJustNeedsABitMoreTimeBeforeSheJoinsIn

She is just doing a lot of observing, so one day she might just start to do more things, and get more involved. We just need to wait and see.

20 weeks pregnant with B comparison:

Close-up of my belly button.
My Belly Button Has Never Been So Close (20 and a half weeks)
 
#IGuessItMustBeWeirderForPeopleWhoHaveInnies
#ItHasBeenMoreOutForAFewWeeks
#ButIAmStartingToThinkThatMaybeItHasAlwaysBeenLikeThis
#ButBecauseMyBellyIsGrowingThenItIsCloserToMe
#IFeelLikeItWasHarderToCleanBeforeThough
#InOtherNewsIHadMy20WeekScanToday
#WasRelievedToSeeAHeartbeatVeryQuickly
#ThoughTheScannerWasQuietALotWhichWorriedMe
#IGuessSheWasJustConcentratingOnCheckingThings
#AtOnePointWeCouldSeeItMovingItsMouthWhichWasFunny
#SheDidAllTheChecksApartFromThree
#SheAskedMeToGoToTheLooAndThenJumpUpAndDown
#TheBabyWasInABallAndWouldNotBudge
#SheHadMeRockingMyHipsFromSideToSide
#ItWouldNotMove
#SheMadeMeDrinkASugaryDrinkAndGoForAWalk
#ItWouldNotMove
#SheHadMeDoingStarjumps
#IWasImpressedWithHowManyIDidBut
#ItWouldNotMove
#SoIHaveToGoBackIn2To3Weeks
#IHopeEverythingIsOkay
#IStillHaveNotHadMyScreeningResultsFrom7PlusWeeksAgo
#IJustKeptLaughingAtTheMonitor
#WeHaveAPictureOfItLookingLikeAGrumpyOldMan
#WhenSheShowedUsItsFaceBeforeItLookedMoreLikeAPuppyThanABaby
#ThenSheShowedUsItsSpineSoMuchThatIComparedItToADinosaur
#SheGaveUsThePicturesForFreeAsSheSaidTheBabyWasInSuchABadPosition
#ICanDefinitelyFeelTheBabyMovingAroundNow
#ItTypicallyWasMovingBeforeAndAfterTheAppointment

It seemed quite pushed out from an early stage this time, but I didn’t document it as it was not so interesting to me this time.

My next post will talk about my 20 week scan for baby X. It was definitely a lot easier this time round, though I was sent out to go to the toilet (weirdly I wrote holiday) to see if it would help do the last few checks.


Thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying my blog (and/or the work I make) please consider supporting me by ‘buying me a coffee’ on Ko-fi – thanks!

Categories
Pregnancy Waiting II

Portrait Of A Mother Of A Fourteen Month Old (15 Weeks / 13th August 2021)

Self-portrait of myself yawning with my eyes partially closed due the yawning. I am resting the index finger of my left hand near my left eye.
Portrait Of A Mother Of A Fourteen Month Old (15 Weeks / 13th August 2021)
 
#IShouldBePackingButInsteadIAmProcrastinatingAndDoingAShootThatIWasNotGoingToDoToday
#ItMakesSenseToGetItDoneThoughAsIWantItToHaveTheSameLookAsOtherPortraitsOfAMotherOfEtc
#HopefullyTomorrowWeWillBeGoingAwayAndIWillHaveToDoWithoutMyLightingKitForNearly3Weeks
#IHadLookedAtGettingSomethingThatWouldSuitButIAmNotEarningMuchAtTheMomentSoItFeltQuiteFrivolous
#AnywaysYesterdayWeWentToBirminghamAirportToDoOurFitToFlyPCRTests
#WeWentForTheDriveThroughOptionWhichWasGoodAsBSleptTheWholeTimeEvenWhenALoudPlaneTookOff
#IWarnedTheWomanThatIAmJustGettingOverMyMorningSicknessButItWasFineAndLessUncomfortableThanWhenIDoAFlowTestMyself
#IJustStartedToWinceOnTheLastFewSecondsOfTheTenSecondsNostrilTwisting
#WeAreDueToGetOurResultsByTenTonightThoughTheySaidItMayTake48HoursFromTheTestWhichIsTomorrowMorning
#ByThatPointWeWillBePackedAndHeadingToLondonSoIReallyHopeTheTestsAreNegative
#IFeltALotMoreHappyAndRelaxedOnceTheTestsWereDoneAsThatWasABigStressToOrganiseAndAtThisPointThereIsNotMuchWeCanDoApartFromWaitForTheResults
#ThoughIFeltLessRelaxedOnceIRealisedThatWeWillBeTestedOnArrivalTooSoWeHaveToHopeWeDoNotPickItUpBetweenTests
#ItShouldBeFineExceptForYesterdayIChattedToALotOfPeopleInThePark
#ISawACoupleWhoWeSeeAllTheTimeAndChattedToThemForTheFirstTimeWhichWasNiceButTypicallyItIsJustAsWeAreGoingAway
#AndThenISpokeToAWomanWithADogWhoWeAlsoSeeAllTheTimeButHaveNeverSpokenMuchTo
#BWasAtFirstYellingOrFrustratedlyTalkingToHerDogAndThenSheWasYellingAtASquirrel
#IHaveNoticedThatSheTalksToAllAnimalsApartFromGeeseWhichIsFairEnoughAsTheyAreScary
#TheWomanCameByAndISaidThatBOnlyLikesToTalkToAnimalsAndThenWeSpokeForAges
#AndThenWeSawAnotherWomanWithADogWhoWeUsuallySeeAboutOnceAMonthNowButByThatPointBWasFedUpAndGotScaredByHerDogBarking
#BLikesToStareALotNowAndTheOtherDayATeenagerYelledAtHerSayingWhatAreYouStaringAt
#IThinkHimYellingJustMadeBStareMoreAndHisFriendSaidToHimWhatAreYouDoingWhichIsGood
#BWokeUpAt6ThisMorningThoughMeAndTiagoWereAwakeAtHerUsualTimeAndWorryingIfSheWasAliveAsSheWasSoQuiet
#IDoNotKnowWhySheSleptLateAsInTheParkSheWasEitherInTheSwingOrHerPushchairButMaybeTheBiryaniSheHadForDinnerFilledHerUpOrSheJustWasNotTeethingAt5ForOnce
#LastNightIWokeUpAndBoltedAcrossTheRoomAsInMyDreamBWasAboutToFallOffTheKitchenCounter
#BMakesMeLaughAsYesterdayNanWasPickingCrumbsUpOffTheFloorWhileBSatNextToHerPlayingWithTheVelcroOnNansShoes
#IHaveMyMidwifeAppointmentTodayAtLunchSoHopefullyThatWillAllGoOkay
#WeirdlyTheMidwifeAndIThoughtWeRecognisedEachOtherButIDoNotThinkWeHaveEverMetBefore
#SheWasAlsoLovelyAndIsAboutAWeekMorePregnantThanMeWhichIsCoolButAlsoAnnoyingAsIWantHerAsMyMidwife
#AtMyLastAppointmentTheySaidTheyMayOrMayNotListenForAHeartbeatAsItIsUsuallyTooEarly
#ButSheTriedAndItWasReassuringToHearItAndSheSaidIfIEverWantToCheckItToJustSendHerAMessage

#IShouldBePackingButInsteadIAmProcrastinatingAndDoingAShootThatIWasNotGoingToDoToday

I just realised that the reminders I write to myself were stacking up, and if I do this today then I can chill about doing work for a little bit.

#ItMakesSenseToGetItDoneThoughAsIWantItToHaveTheSameLookAsOtherPortraitsOfAMotherOfEtc

And this. I had debated just doing a shoot today then writing another day.

#HopefullyTomorrowWeWillBeGoingAwayAndIWillHaveToDoWithoutMyLightingKitForNearly3Weeks

I’m sure I’ll manage, it just ruins the look of the project a little bit but oh well. It might mix it up in a good way…

#IHadLookedAtGettingSomethingThatWouldSuitButIAmNotEarningMuchAtTheMomentSoItFeltQuiteFrivolous

And researching/reading reviews takes up so much time.

#AnywaysYesterdayWeWentToBirminghamAirportToDoOurFitToFlyPCRTests

We had looked at other options, but they’d sold out. I think I mentioned it in my last entry/post (I still don’t know what to call these).

#WeWentForTheDriveThroughOptionWhichWasGoodAsBSleptTheWholeTimeEvenWhenALoudPlaneTookOff

Having to park and go through a walk in felt like more hassle. Especially as we did not know what time B would wake up in the morning (5:15am for the record) and if we would disturb her napping (she fell asleep before we got to the airport).

She did briefly open her eyes just after we started to move again, she sleepily smiled at me then went back to sleep. When we got home she stayed in the car for an hour continuing to nap…

#IWarnedTheWomanThatIAmJustGettingOverMyMorningSicknessButItWasFineAndLessUncomfortableThanWhenIDoAFlowTestMyself #IJustStartedToWinceOnTheLastFewSecondsOfTheTenSecondsNostrilTwisting

I thought that I had better warn her in case I made some weird noises or something. She said she would go slow and I could take a break whenever I wanted but it was fine. I was glad that I got a woman, but it seemed like policy which was good (Tiago got a guy).

#WeAreDueToGetOurResultsByTenTonightThoughTheySaidItMayTake48HoursFromTheTestWhichIsTomorrowMorning #ByThatPointWeWillBePackedAndHeadingToLondonSoIReallyHopeTheTestsAreNegative

It is so stressful. I don’t see why people are bothering to go abroad to places where you need to test loads if you are just going for a week and not visiting family… I need to look at booking day 2 and day 8 tests for when I get back. Tiago only needs to do day 2, and B doesn’t need to do them. Phew.

#IFeltALotMoreHappyAndRelaxedOnceTheTestsWereDoneAsThatWasABigStressToOrganiseAndAtThisPointThereIsNotMuchWeCanDoApartFromWaitForTheResults #ThoughIFeltLessRelaxedOnceIRealisedThatWeWillBeTestedOnArrivalTooSoWeHaveToHopeWeDoNotPickItUpBetweenTests

It’d be bloody typical…

#ItShouldBeFineExceptForYesterdayIChattedToALotOfPeopleInThePark

Typically I often go to the park and hope to talk to people and I talk to no one. Yesterday was our chattiest day in a longgg time, if ever.

#ISawACoupleWhoWeSeeAllTheTimeAndChattedToThemForTheFirstTimeWhichWasNiceButTypicallyItIsJustAsWeAreGoingAway

I think I have mentioned them before (I hope it doesn’t get to the point where they might read this blog and find it awkward – hello if so).

Their kid is the same age as B and we have seen them around since we moved here. It was nice to finally chat. We always say we should say hello to them, but after a while it feels like too late to say hello. I took B to the swings though and they were next to us, so I felt like I should ‘go for it’. They’re so nice, and we chatted for ages. B was getting restless, so I thought I should take her home for dinner and a run around.

#AndThenISpokeToAWomanWithADogWhoWeAlsoSeeAllTheTimeButHaveNeverSpokenMuchTo

Once I was sat with B on a picnic blanket and the dog just came and sat next to her randomly. We spoke briefly then, but that was monthsss ago I think.

#BWasAtFirstYellingOrFrustratedlyTalkingToHerDogAndThenSheWasYellingAtASquirrel

I feel bad as I keep saying she is yelling, but she is probably just talking loudly and gets frustrated as they never come closer to her and/or talk back…

#IHaveNoticedThatSheTalksToAllAnimalsApartFromGeeseWhichIsFairEnoughAsTheyAreScary

At first I put evil instead of scary, but thought I might offend geese lovers. They just get quite defensive and hiss a lot. My parents used to have geese and once one bit my foot (luckily I was wearing steel toe capped boots, but still). I have been weary of them since…

#TheWomanCameByAndISaidThatBOnlyLikesToTalkToAnimalsAndThenWeSpokeForAges

She was smiling and I was in a good mood from talking to the couple. We spoke about lots of things from when she gave birth husbands were not allowed in the hospital at all, to anti-vaxxers. She’s also lovely.

#AndThenWeSawAnotherWomanWithADogWhoWeUsuallySeeAboutOnceAMonthNowButByThatPointBWasFedUpAndGotScaredByHerDogBarking

Last time we saw them it was early in the morning. We caught them this time as they came out early and we were late from chatting to so many people. I had to pick B up as she was scared by his barking. He’s a very friendly dog though.

#BLikesToStareALotNowAndTheOtherDayATeenagerYelledAtHerSayingWhatAreYouStaringAt

I was pushing B across the grass and she was sat on the standing board just chilling and looking at the world. I saw her looking at them and I looked briefly and smiled at them.

#IThinkHimYellingJustMadeBStareMoreAndHisFriendSaidToHimWhatAreYouDoingWhichIsGood

Maybe he was yelling at me, but I doubt it as B was having a good long look. So awkward. Glad his friend told him off as he was probably just showing off, but it did make me feel uncomfortable. I just didn’t look or say anything. Then a guy commented that B was staring a lot, but he was being friendly and was with his kids.

#BWokeUpAt6ThisMorningThoughMeAndTiagoWereAwakeAtHerUsualTimeAndWorryingIfSheWasAliveAsSheWasSoQuiet

Yesterday she was trying to get my Nan’s salt shaker off her tall table and I think it may have hit her on the head, so I was keeping an eye on her because of that.

#IDoNotKnowWhySheSleptLateAsInTheParkSheWasEitherInTheSwingOrHerPushchairButMaybeTheBiryaniSheHadForDinnerFilledHerUpOrSheJustWasNotTeethingAt5ForOnce

She wasn’t running around a lot, unless it was from all the listening? Maybe dinner was filling (she didn’t eat any yoghurt before bed like she usually does), or maybe it was down to teething. She never seems to stop teething, so maybe it did for a little bit and so she slept better. Who knows?

#LastNightIWokeUpAndBoltedAcrossTheRoomAsInMyDreamBWasAboutToFallOffTheKitchenCounter

Lol. There is no kitchen counter in our room. Tiago just said ‘are you alright?’ as my urgency woke him up. Classic.

#BMakesMeLaughAsYesterdayNanWasPickingCrumbsUpOffTheFloorWhileBSatNextToHerPlayingWithTheVelcroOnNansShoes

She is funny. She must like the sound. Today she realised she could make a sound on the cupboard with her fingers.

#IHaveMyMidwifeAppointmentTodayAtLunchSoHopefullyThatWillAllGoOkay

I have left myself four hashtags to write about it. Fun times.

#WeirdlyTheMidwifeAndIThoughtWeRecognisedEachOtherButIDoNotThinkWeHaveEverMetBefore

I was thinking I recognised her (even with her mask on) and then she said that she thought she had met me before. I’ve only had a couple of appointments though and they weren’t with her. I’ve recently moved GP surgery and it is better as I will have more of my appointments there rather than random centres, and I like her.

#SheWasAlsoLovelyAndIsAboutAWeekMorePregnantThanMeWhichIsCoolButAlsoAnnoyingAsIWantHerAsMyMidwife

Happy for her, but it’s typical. She said from her 30 weeks she might have to just work from home due to shielding, but she said we’ll see what the rules are. In Liverpool, my midwife was due to take sick leave but then she didn’t – but in the end she wasn’t my midwife as I didn’t have a homebirth. My midwife today said I could have a homebirth if I wanted, but I said it’s probably not very polite as we live at my Nan’s place.

#AtMyLastAppointmentTheySaidTheyMayOrMayNotListenForAHeartbeatAsItIsUsuallyTooEarly #ButSheTriedAndItWasReassuringToHearItAndSheSaidIfIEverWantToCheckItToJustSendHerAMessage

I know in Liverpool they were a bit weird about it. I guess it freaks people out if they don’t hear it, but the midwife today said that if it’s not good news then you wouldn’t hear much at all. The baby was hiding behind my placenta, but she could hear it moving and my placenta was being noisy. She kept trying to get a clearer sound for me, but I said as long as she was happy that all was good then it was fine with me.

Some reassuring news before our possible holiday. Fingers crossed.

15 weeks pregnant with B comparison:

Self-portrait wearing a black and white stripy dress. I am looking at the camera and have my left thumb touching my lips, and the rest of my fingers closing my left eye.
Maternity Clothes (15 and a half weeks)
 
#SoMyFirstMaternityClothesHaveArrived
#IDidNotWantToCurseThingsByBuyingThemTooEarly
#ButIDefinitelyNeededNewBras
#IAmTryingOutTheClipsThatYouUseSoYouCanFeed
#ItIsStartingToGetEasier
#ButIDoNotWantToPracticeTooMuch
#InCaseIBreakThatFunctionBeforeIActuallyNeedThem
#IHaveStartedToEditMyProjectDownNowSoIDoNotHaveToDoItLaterOn
#IHaveToPickMyFavouriteImageFromAllThePreviousShoots
#AndThenIMightTryDrawingOnThem
#ToHelpWithMyAnxietyAndWorries
#IDoDefinitelyHaveABumpNow
#ThoughIThinkDuringTheDayMostOfItIsDueToFood
#IHaveStartedToDoYogaOrPilatesOrStretchingInTheMorningAndEveningNow
#IHaveGotIntoAGoodHabitOfDoingItInTheMorning
#ButTheLastCoupleOfDaysIHaveBeenDoingItInTheEveningTooAsIFeelLikeINeedIt
#AndIAmStartingToGetPelvicPainNow
#AtLeastISeemToHaveMoreEnergyTheseDays
#IStillFeelABitSickButIAmNotBeingSick
#TheClosestIGetToBeingSickAtTheMomentIsWheneverIBrushMyTeeth
#IHaveTriedAllDifferentToothpastesButMyBodyHatesIt
#ITryToThinkOfDoughnutsAndUnicorns
#ApparentlyInWeek16TheBabyWillBeTheSizeOfADoughnut
#SoIMightGetOneToCelebrateAsIHaveBeenThinkingAboutThemForWeeks
#WheneverIAmSomewhereThatSellsThemINeverWantThemThough
#ApartFromMaybeThoseVansThatSellDinkieDoughnutsOrWhateverTheyAreCalledTheseDays
#AnywaysThisIsMyFirstMaternityDress
#IHateShoppingButISawItAndLikedItWhichIsRareSoIThoughtIShouldGetIt
#IAmBoredOfPregnancyAdsNow
#IWantToSeeOtherThings
#AFewYearsAgoWhenIUsedToGetPregnancyTestAdsOnYouTubeIWasSurprisedThatAGuyInMyImprovClassGotAdvertsForTomatoSoup

Well, coincidentally I have my left hand touching my face and one eye closed.

I have been wearing this dress since B was born, and I have been wearing it a lot lately. I haven’t bought any maternity clothes this time, but I have been given a maternity jumper.

I ended up not wearing the clip bras much, and ended up wearing the ones that you just move the bra with your hands. I’ve been wearing them lately anyways as they’re so comfy.

I never ended up drawing on the pictures, but I have got a lot quicker at editing. I usually edit the shoot on the day of the shoot or the day after now.

I feel like I haven’t had any pelvic pain yet with this pregnancy, but I have been doing pregnancy stretches in the morning and evening since getting a positive test this time which I think has helped.

I tried to distract myself more this time than think about doughnuts and unicorns when I feel sick – the thought of doughnuts is making me hungry. There are some jam doughnuts in the kitchen actually, but I’m not a fan.

I feel like I haven’t had too many pregnancy ads this time, but I am also making an effort to not accept all cookies on sites anymore. I could eat a cookie or five.


Thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying my blog (and/or the work I make) please consider supporting me by ‘buying me a coffee’ on Ko-fi – thanks!

Categories
Pregnancy Waiting II

Portrait Of A Mother Of A Twelve Month Old (7 Weeks? / 15th June 2021)

Self-portrait sat on the floor with legs crossed. I have a hat on that says 1 on it, and I am holding the camera of a video monitor in my right hand.
Portrait Of A Mother Of A Twelve Month Old (7 Weeks? / 15th June 2021)

#ICannotAndCanBelieveThatBIsOneYearOldItHasGoneFastInSomeWaysAndVerySlowInOtherWays
#IWroteAPoemToCelebrateHerBirthdayButItIsQuiteRubbish
#HerNewTrickIsToGargleAllHerWater
#WeTookHerOutForLunchAndSheJustSatThereGargling
#WeWentToAWildlifeParkButIThinkTiagoAndIEnjoyedItMoreThoughItWasALotForHerToTakeIn
#TiagoIsBackAtWorkNowSoINeedToAdjustToNotBeingAbleToGoOffForNapsAllTheTime
#PoorTiagoIsMoreTiredThanBeforeHeHadHisWeekOffSoIFeelBadAboutThat
#IFeelKnackeredNowAndHopeIHaveTimeForAQuickLieDownAfterThis
#WeHaveStartedToGiveBGoatsMilkInsteadOfFormulaThoughWeWillChangeToCowsMilkSoon
#TodayWasTheFirstDayOfNotGivingHerFormulaWhenSheWokeUpAndIHadToGetOnWithBreakfastPrettyQuick
#MakingFoodJustMakesMeWantToVomitButINeedToEatAsOtherwiseIFeelMoreSick
#IAmSoBoredOfFeelingSickAlready
#IWasSickForTheFirstTimeTheOtherDayButIAmTryingToAvoidItAsIHateItSoMuch
#IWasHalfWayThroughMakingBsLunchOmeletteWhenIHadToRunOut
#TiagoCameToAskTheInstructionsToFinishItInbetweenMyGags
#ItIsEitherFeelHorribleAndBeSickOrFeelSickAndEatEvenThoughIDoNotFeelLikeItAndThenFeelBetter
#IMadeBABatchOfRatatouilleThisMorningAndItReallyMadeMeFeelIllDoingIt
#EatingBeigeFoodsGenerallyMakeMeFeelBetter
#IHaveBeenGettingALotOfCravingsForReallyVinegaryChipsAndMushyPeas
#LastNightBeforeGoingToBedICouldHaveEatenACheeseAndRedOnionWhiteBap
#ReallyWateredDownJuiceSeemsToBeANewThingThatIDesire
#IDoNotLikeEatingLateButIThinkIAmGoingToHaveToOtherwiseIWillProbablyStartBeingSickInTheEvenings
#WhyArePregnantPeoplePunishedByFeelingSickAllOfTheTime
#IAmNowSayingThatIAmSevenWeeksNowAsIDoThinkItIsMoreLikelyButIJustWantToBeFurtherAlongAlready
#TiagosLaptopScreenThatBBrokeAMonthAgoSuddenlyStartedToWorkAgainSoThatIsGood
#ThisPostIsSupposedToBeAboutBTurningOneButItIsMostlyAboutMyMorningSicknessAndTiredness
#InThePictureIHopeToImitatePhotosOfBThatITookToCelebrateHerBirthday
#IGotHerAHatThatSays1OnItThoughTheySentMeOneThatSaid3OnItAtFirst
#TheOnlyThingThatWouldDistractHerWasHerBabyMonitor
#AndSheWoreAOnePieceSoIWillWearTheOneIHaveStartedToWearAgainAsIKnowIWillNotGetMuchUseOutOfItThisSummer

#ICannotAndCanBelieveThatBIsOneYearOldItHasGoneFastInSomeWaysAndVerySlowInOtherWays

My little baby who could not support her own head is now one. What. A. Year.

#IWroteAPoemToCelebrateHerBirthdayButItIsQuiteRubbish

This post was initially just going to be a poem as of course it only has 30 lines, but I did not put it into hashtag form.

Here it is for the lolz:

B You Are One!

Oh what a year, oh what a ride,

But I am so grateful to have you by my side.

This poem is already cheesy and a bit cliché,

But I thought I should write something to celebrate your first birthday.

You were born during a pandemic in the year 2020,

We stayed in hospital for four days and I ate butternut squash curry aplenty.

Your Pai was relieved to see you arrive home,

Together is better than seeing us through the small screen of our phones.

You spent your first four months in Liverpool and saw lots of the river,

Nothing much was open so all we could do was walk and dither.

Then we moved to Birmingham to live with your Great Nan,

You like lots of books but a current favourite is This Old Man.

Here you’ve learned how to crawl, babble and eat,

I think soon you’ll be walking as you’re finding your feet.

You can say Dad and duck; you do like to go to the pond,

We’re trying to work out if you’ll be a brunette or blonde.

At your baby classes you like to wander and explore,

You bang your foot in time to music on the wood of the floor.

I like when you enjoy something and so clap your hands,

We hope soon you’ll get to visit friends in far distant lands.

Maybe we’ll get to go to Portugal and meet your family there,

When you sit on the swings you like to watch people and stare.

We look forward to seeing you develop and grow,

We’re learning a lot, there’s a lot we don’t know.

We still don’t know much about what parents should do,

But we’re making the effort to find out just for you.

We’re glad you’re here, you’ll always be our little B,

We love you so much and plan to do so permanently.

Here’s to your first birthday, what a year it has been,

You’re our baby, our bunny, you’re our little queen.

The End

(23rd August: I’d completely forgotten that I wrote a poem for B….)

#HerNewTrickIsToGargleAllHerWater

Great. Take a gulp. Gargle. Take a gulp. Gargle. And repeat until the whole cup is empty.

I think she has just woken up from her nap. Fail. I had the heating on as I thought she may be cold. I’ve just put it on again. I thought that I’d been putting it on in the morning, but apparently I haven’t been. I need to try that again as she keeps waking up at 5.40am and it’s too early… She seems asleep for now.

#WeTookHerOutForLunchAndSheJustSatThereGargling

Luckily two women by us found it funny. It is funny, but it’s a bit much after 20 goes of it. I guess she is clever for working it out though…

#WeWentToAWildlifeParkButIThinkTiagoAndIEnjoyedItMoreThoughItWasALotForHerToTakeIn

Most of the animals were hiding or napping, so I don’t think B saw most of them. We only got a photo of her looking at a komodo dragon.

#TiagoIsBackAtWorkNowSoINeedToAdjustToNotBeingAbleToGoOffForNapsAllTheTime

Boo hoo hoo hoo hoo. How will I cope with two kids? Though at least I won’t be feeling sick all the time. I think/hope the first trimester is the worst.

#PoorTiagoIsMoreTiredThanBeforeHeHadHisWeekOffSoIFeelBadAboutThat

🙁

#IFeelKnackeredNowAndHopeIHaveTimeForAQuickLieDownAfterThis

If B stays asleep… It’s looking unlikely.

#WeHaveStartedToGiveBGoatsMilkInsteadOfFormulaThoughWeWillChangeToCowsMilkSoon

I did some more reading about goats milk and I think we should just move to cows milk when her carton is over. Plus just having cows milk will be easier as we can use it with all her cooking.

She seemed unsure of the milk, but now I just make sure to warm it up a little bit. I gave her 100ml before she had this nap and she probably drank 80/90 of it, so that’s good. Yesterday she didn’t drink much, but it probably didn’t help that we gave her formula in the morning. Apparently it’s sweeter?

#TodayWasTheFirstDayOfNotGivingHerFormulaWhenSheWokeUpAndIHadToGetOnWithBreakfastPrettyQuick

She was upset and I thought maybe she was hungry. She got up at 5.40am. She had some water. She had breakfast at 7am.

#MakingFoodJustMakesMeWantToVomitButINeedToEatAsOtherwiseIFeelMoreSick

I make a tomato and egg omelette/scrambled egg thing for myself with garlic powder, pepper and oregano then bung it between two pieces of buttered toast. I just have to eat it slowly. I make it for myself after B’s porridge has been pancaked and the pan is still hot. Boring info.

#IAmSoBoredOfFeelingSickAlready

Boredd.

#IWasSickForTheFirstTimeTheOtherDayButIAmTryingToAvoidItAsIHateItSoMuch #IWasHalfWayThroughMakingBsLunchOmeletteWhenIHadToRunOut

I have days where I just feel sick all day. I have started a Puke Portraits II project, but I hope to just keep it to a very small number of images. I also can’t be bothered to spend the time writing hashtags and editing the images.

#TiagoCameToAskTheInstructionsToFinishItInbetweenMyGags

Lovely.

#ItIsEitherFeelHorribleAndBeSickOrFeelSickAndEatEvenThoughIDoNotFeelLikeItAndThenFeelBetter

A friend was saying the other day that when you usually feel sick you don’t want to eat and you don’t, but with pregnancy sickness you have to eat. Yep.

#IMadeBABatchOfRatatouilleThisMorningAndItReallyMadeMeFeelIllDoingIt

I was supposed to do it yesterday but Tiago was busy and I didn’t look for the passata well enough, and I felt too sick to make it so I didn’t bother trying much harder.

#EatingBeigeFoodsGenerallyMakeMeFeelBetter

Nan got some crumpets. Great. Mini cheddars seem like a good option at the moment. Crisps in general. I’m trying to eat more nuts…

#IHaveBeenGettingALotOfCravingsForReallyVinegaryChipsAndMushyPeas

Writing this and reading this makes me want them again.

#LastNightBeforeGoingToBedICouldHaveEatenACheeseAndRedOnionWhiteBap

Not feeling that so much now. My Nan bought some baps and made a cheese and tomato one before dinner yesterday. I could eat one of those now…

#ReallyWateredDownJuiceSeemsToBeANewThingThatIDesire

Water with a hint of something. Going to try elderflower cordial, though I probably should have asked for some ginger cordial instead…

#IDoNotLikeEatingLateButIThinkIAmGoingToHaveToOtherwiseIWillProbablyStartBeingSickInTheEvenings

Piece of toast before bed? Probably a good idea.

#WhyArePregnantPeoplePunishedByFeelingSickAllOfTheTime

Whoever/whatever invented pregnancy symptoms is a sod. Aren’t we punished enough with periods and menopause? Then we don’t get periods, which is nice, but then we have to deal with sickness. Sod. To those who don’t get morning sickness – you’re lucky!

#IAmNowSayingThatIAmSevenWeeksNowAsIDoThinkItIsMoreLikelyButIJustWantToBeFurtherAlongAlready

I just want to be clear of the first trimester already, and I want to get my jab. (I know I can get it already, but I do want to wait until 14 weeks like some countries suggest/are doing.)

#TiagosLaptopScreenThatBBrokeAMonthAgoSuddenlyStartedToWorkAgainSoThatIsGood

He came in showing me his laptop all excited. I was like ‘yeah the Google logo has always looked like that?’ Ahhh okay.

#ThisPostIsSupposedToBeAboutBTurningOneButItIsMostlyAboutMyMorningSicknessAndTiredness

Sorry love. I should have just made this post the poem and left my sickness until later in the week. I’m starting to feel a bit sick again now…

#InThePictureIHopeToImitatePhotosOfBThatITookToCelebrateHerBirthday

One hat. All in one outfit. Holding a video monitor. Looking quite serious.

(23rd August: I seemed to achieve it.)

#IGotHerAHatThatSays1OnItThoughTheySentMeOneThatSaid3OnItAtFirst

Well that will keep. Let’s see if I can find it in 2 years.

#TheOnlyThingThatWouldDistractHerWasHerBabyMonitor

We tried all the toys. T was getting frustrated. She liked the baby monitor and her room thermometer – things we don’t usually let her play with. I managed to move the thermometer out of the frame though.

#AndSheWoreAOnePieceSoIWillWearTheOneIHaveStartedToWearAgainAsIKnowIWillNotGetMuchUseOutOfItThisSummer

I suddenly remembered about it yesterday. I don’t remember wearing it last summer, and if things go to plan I doubt I will be fitting in it for much longer.

I’m going to eat some mini cheddars, then have a lie down…

7 weeks pregnant with B comparison:

A diptych of two full length images of me with my top pulled up to document my bump. In one I
I Have Nothing To Show Yet (7 weeks)
 
#ItIsColdNowSoIAmWearingExtraLayers
#IHaveNothingToShowYet
#OrMaybeIDoButIAmSureIHaveLookedTheSameAsThisEveryTimeIHaveEatenForManyYears
#IHaveLookedMorePregnantBeforeAfterOrderingAnIndianTakeawayAndNotBeingAbleToStop
#AtChristmas2018MyParentsThoughtIWasPregnantAsIWasWearingBaggyClothing
#AndIChooseComfortOverFashion
#YouKnowMe
#ThoughIWouldNotMindLookingALittleBetter
#IJustHateClothesShopping
#AndNowIsNotTheTimeToStartGettingIntoClothesMore
#BecauseTheyEitherWillNotFitMeForLongOrTheyWillNotFitMeAfter
#AGoodReasonForBaggierClothingThisWinterThoughIsToHideMyGrowingBoobs
#IToldAFriendThatIAmPregnantAndSheSaidSheThoughtMyBoobsLookedBiggerAndThisWasTwoWeeksAgo
#IHaveAlwaysHadAWeirdRelationshipWithThem
#BeingToldInHighSchoolThatIWasTwoParacetamolsOnAnIroningBoard
#AndBeingUpsetButAlsoNotCaringAsIWasLikeBoobsAreJustForBabiesAnyways
#AndTheIdeaOfMeWithBiggerBoobsWasJustWeird
#BeingToldByGuysThatTheyUsuallyDateGirlsWithBiggerBoobs
#Lol 
#ButIThinkBoobsBringAttentionAndIDoLikeToBeInvisible
#IReallyCanNotImagineMySelfHavingBigBoobs
#AndGoingOutWithThemOnDisplay
#NoOffenceToOtherPeopleWhoShowTheirsOff
#TheyLookGoodOnYouButTheyLookWeirdAsHellOnMe
#ThisPostHasTooManyBoobs
#NotSureIfIPreferBoobsOrBreasts
#BreastsJustSoundsLikeMeatRightNowAndThatIsMakingMeFeelSickEvenThoughIHadMeatCravingsYesterdayAndIAmVegetarian
#IThinkHowIFeelTowardsMyBodyDuringAndAfterMyPregnancyWillBeInteresting
#ParticularlyAsPregnantIsSeenAsBeautifulAndMyBodyGrowingIsForAGoodThingButThenAsSoonAsYouGiveBirthThereIsALotOfPressureToBeAsYouWereAgain
#IJustWantToLookAfterMyselfAndBodyAsBestAsICan 

B and baby X will be born in complete opposite seasons. In this diptych I am cold, but in my new photo I was quite hot.

I still look a mess all the time, so nothing has changed there. I feel like my boobs didn’t grow as quick this time, which I was kind of relieved about. They’re probably different from breastfeeding, but I can’t really tell.

I think my bump started to show a bit earlier this time, but it also may be just down to food. I seem to have a habit of doing shoots just after eating which doesn’t help.

I need to start eating better and exercising more again. I feel like over the last week I’ve let myself (and X) down a bit on that front. I’m trying my best…


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Categories
Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Portrait Of A Mother Of An Eleven Month Old (15th May 2021)

A headshot with me looking at the camera, with my hair up and wearing a black and white striped top with a slight neck.
Portrait Of A Mother Of An Eleven Month Old (15th May 2021)
 
#ICanNotBelieveThatBIsNearlyAYearOld
#WhatAWeirdYearItHasBeen
#ITookThisPhotoAsSoonAsIGotOutOfBed
#IProbablyShouldHaveTakenItHalfAnHourEarlierButIWasWaitingForTiagoToGetBUpAsSheWasMakingNoise
#AndTiagoWasWaitingForMeToGetHerUpAsHeHadWokenUpAt4
#IShouldHaveJustGotUpAndDoneTheShootThenGotHerUpButSheIsWithTiagoNowWhileIDoSomeWork
#YesterdayTiagoTookHerToTheSupermarketByHimselfForTheFirstTime
#IUsuallyJoinToGetOltOfTheHouseWithHerButItMadeSenseForThemToGoAlone
#ItWasAlsoTheFirstTimeThatTheyHadBeenAloneInTheCarWhichIsWeirdAsSheIs11MonthsOld
#TiagoSaidHeEnjoyedPushingHerAroundAndTalkingToHer
#IThinkABigMistakeWeMadeWasNotGettingAPushchairWhereSheCanFaceUsButOhWell
#IAmRecoveringAlrightAfterHavingAToothOut
#IHaveBeenSuperTiredButMaybeItIsDownToNotExercisingSoMuch
#IHaveNotReallyExercisedInAFewWeeksAndMyOutdoorClassHasOnlyHappenedOnceDueToBadWeather
#PortugalHasBeenOnTheNewsALotWhenTalkingAboutSummerHolidays
#WhatHappensHappensAndWeWillJustHaveToSee
#IsItWeirdThatBIsNearlyAYearOldAndIStillFindItWeirdThatIHaveAKidAtTimes
#YesterdayIFellDownAnInternetHoleAndWasReadingAThreadAboutPeopleRegrettingTheyHadKids
#IDoNotRegretThatWeHadBAndThoughIFindItWeirdThatIAmAMotherICanNotImagineMyLifeWithoutHerNow
#ItWasMainlyPeopleSayingHowTiredTheyAreAndIGetIt
#WeWouldLikeToHaveAnotherChildAtSomePointButIDoWorryAboutHavingLessTimeForMyOwnStuff
#TheFurtherThatBGetsAwayFromTheSuperDependentBabyPhaseTheLessIWantToGoBackThere
#NowSheIsFeedingHerselfQuiteWellWhenWeGiveHerFoodWhereItIsDoable
#AndSheSitsAndAmusesHerselfMoreWhichIsNiceThoughIFeelBadIfSheDoesItForTooLong
#ButItGoodToBeAbleToMakeHerFoodWhileSheJustPlaysAndCrawlsAbout
#IWorryThatIAmABadEnoughMotherOfOneLetAloneAddingAnotherChildIntoTheMix
#IGuessWeWillJustSeeWhatHappensAndIfItHappensThenThingsWillNeedToChange
#InACoupleOfDaysMoreThingsWillReopenSoItWillBeGoodToExploreSomeDifferentPlaces
#IThinkTheWeatherIsMeantToBeQuiteRubbishForTheRestOfTheMonth
#IDefinitelyNeedToGetBetterAtEntertainingBIndoorsAtHome

#ICanNotBelieveThatBIsNearlyAYearOld

It probably has felt like a lot more than 11 months at times. It’s weird thinking back to how different she was 11 months ago…

#WhatAWeirdYearItHasBeen

I know I say it a lot, but I do wonder how things would be now if there hadn’t been a pandemic but there is no point thinking about it too much. It’s just been a very odd year.

#ITookThisPhotoAsSoonAsIGotOutOfBed

I was going for a ‘I’m very tired’ vibe.

#IProbablyShouldHaveTakenItHalfAnHourEarlierButIWasWaitingForTiagoToGetBUpAsSheWasMakingNoise

There was a lot of us looking at the clock then putting our heads back down.

#AndTiagoWasWaitingForMeToGetHerUpAsHeHadWokenUpAt4

He usually gets her up and I was going to offer, but I wanted to do this shoot and I had got in into my head that I was going to do it today – so I did not want to wait for tomorrow.

#IShouldHaveJustGotUpAndDoneTheShootThenGotHerUpButSheIsWithTiagoNowWhileIDoSomeWork

This would have made sense, but it’s 7:45am and I’ve done my hashtags and I’m doing this blog. I want to get it done so I can tackle the rest of my to do list. I seem to work best in the morning as I know Tiago will not want to do work now, and I keep working until I start to faff.

#YesterdayTiagoTookHerToTheSupermarketByHimselfForTheFirstTime

It doesn’t sound like a big deal, but it seemed like it (for me anyways).

#IUsuallyJoinToGetOutOfTheHouseWithHerButItMadeSenseForThemToGoAlone

I think supermarkets still don’t like more people going than necessary, and it made it different for Tiago.

#ItWasAlsoTheFirstTimeThatTheyHadBeenAloneInTheCarWhichIsWeirdAsSheIs11MonthsOld

I felt bad not being there to amuse B – we need to get one of those mirrors so B and T can see each other easily. I was more worried that she would fall asleep on the way home and then not go to bed easily. She keeps waking up half an hour after she’s gone to bed. Not sure what that is about.

#TiagoSaidHeEnjoyedPushingHerAroundAndTalkingToHer

I think the supermarket is good stimulation for B too with all the things to look at.

#IThinkABigMistakeWeMadeWasNotGettingAPushchairWhereSheCanFaceUsButOhWell

I think she is used to looking out when I push her around but it is hard to talk to her like that. That’s what you get for not being able to try out pushchairs during a pandemic…

#IAmRecoveringAlrightAfterHavingAToothOut

I can’t help but mess with the gap a lot. It feels massive.

#IHaveBeenSuperTiredButMaybeItIsDownToNotExercisingSoMuch

It is probably from a combination of many things – mothering Monday to Friday, trying to get lots of other stuff done when I can, recovering from having a tooth out and not exercising enough.

#IHaveNotReallyExercisedInAFewWeeksAndMyOutdoorClassHasOnlyHappenedOnceDueToBadWeather

My enthusiasm for the class is gone, so I don’t think I’ll be going back. I will stretch after I finish this post though – I can feel my back starting to ache.

#PortugalHasBeenOnTheNewsALotWhenTalkingAboutSummerHolidays

I think from Monday the doors will be open to Brits, but it can change and change again a million times before we go.

#WhatHappensHappensAndWeWillJustHaveToSee

Tiago says there is no point stressing about it. We’ll just have to prepare as best as we can and see what happens.

#IsItWeirdThatBIsNearlyAYearOldAndIStillFindItWeirdThatIHaveAKidAtTimes

It’s getting less weird, but it is bizarre.

#YesterdayIFellDownAnInternetHoleAndWasReadingAThreadAboutPeopleRegrettingTheyHadKids

Great. I haven’t been on Reddit in ages, and I won’t be going there again as I should have napped but instead I got sucked in to that thread and one about ruined weddings, and people who quit their jobs on the first day. Super productive stuff I know.

#IDoNotRegretThatWeHadBAndThoughIFindItWeirdThatIAmAMotherICanNotImagineMyLifeWithoutHerNow

It is weird thinking of life before her.

(5th July 2021: I said the same thing to Tiago yesterday.)

#ItWasMainlyPeopleSayingHowTiredTheyAreAndIGetIt

It is tiring, but it is rewarding. I don’t want to wish time away, but I am looking forward to her being older too.

#WeWouldLikeToHaveAnotherChildAtSomePointButIDoWorryAboutHavingLessTimeForMyOwnStuff

I think I’d just have to accept that I may not be able to do as much for a couple of years or so. I’m sure I’d find a way to do something though.

#TheFurtherThatBGetsAwayFromTheSuperDependentBabyPhaseTheLessIWantToGoBackThere

There was a 3 week old baby at B’s class the other day and it was weird thinking that B used to be that size. It’s amazing how much they change in a year. The early early days where they sleep 5 times a day isn’t so bad, and I hope that breastfeeding would be easier but looking after two kids must be a lot more tiring.

#NowSheIsFeedingHerselfQuiteWellWhenWeGiveHerFoodWhereItIsDoable

I need to look at more meals where she can feed herself, but we have a lot of frozen meals where you need a spoon really and B isn’t getting the hang of that yet.

#AndSheSitsAndAmusesHerselfMoreWhichIsNiceThoughIFeelBadIfSheDoesItForTooLong

She is obsessed with balloons at the moment. I am reading to her more which is nice.

#ButItGoodToBeAbleToMakeHerFoodWhileSheJustPlaysAndCrawlsAbout

Once or twice a week I make muffins and I usually do them in the morning when I am tired. We are all fans of those muffins – I usually put 3 blueberries on top though.

#IWorryThatIAmABadEnoughMotherOfOneLetAloneAddingAnotherChildIntoTheMix

I am just doing my best and I guess that is all I can do.

#IGuessWeWillJustSeeWhatHappensAndIfItHappensThenThingsWillNeedToChange

Let’s see.

#InACoupleOfDaysMoreThingsWillReopenSoItWillBeGoodToExploreSomeDifferentPlaces

Indoor play places! It will be good for B, and good for me. I hope that we’ll meet some more people too.

#IThinkTheWeatherIsMeantToBeQuiteRubbishForTheRestOfTheMonth

Great.

#IDefinitelyNeedToGetBetterAtEntertainingBIndoorsAtHome

The TV is on way too much for my liking, but I do like Bluey a lot. With better weather and more things reopening we can get out more which will make me feel better and B will probably enjoy it too so let’s see.


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Categories
Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Portrait Of A Mother Of A Ten Month Old (14th April 2021)

Portrait Of A Mother Of A Ten Month Old (14th April 2021)
 
#TheLastFewDaysHaveFeltLikeHowTheLast10MonthsShouldHaveBeen
#MeetingUpWithFriendsAndTheirKidsAndBumpingIntoABabyFriendInTheParkAndGoingToAClass
#SheGotMudOnHerSuitForTheFirstTimeInTheParkAsSheCrawledAboutWithABaby
#SheLikesToTryToEatEverythingAndIAmTryingToBeOkayWithLettingHerEatSomeDirt
#IHadToGetATwigOutOfHerMouthAndThenIThoughtSheWasTryingToEatAnotherOne
#HoweverItWasACigaretteButtWhichIsObviouslyNotGreat
#IMadeAJokeAboutItBeingTooEarlyForHerToStartAndThenICringed
#MySocialSkillsAreReallyTerribleButIAmNoLongerGoingToBeatMyselfUpForIt
#IfPeopleLikeMeThenTheyLikeMeAndIfTheyDoNotThenIAmNotGoingToDwellOnIt
#BJustLooksSoHappySeeingOtherBabiesAndYoungKidsThatIReallyHopeTheRulesDoNotGetStricterAgain
#IPutBInAnOutfitForHerClassInsteadOfHerUsualOnesies
#ItWasProbablyOnlyTheThirdTimeThatSheHasBeenInAnOutfit
#TAndIBothThoughtThatSheDidNotLookLikeOurBaby
#IPlannedToGetThereEarlyButOfCourseIEndedUpRunningUpAHillWithAPushchair
#BJustLovedLookingAroundAtEveryoneAndSmilingAtAllTheBabies
#OfCourseSheDidNotWantToStayOnTheMatAndIHadToKeepGrabbingHerBack
#TheLastTimeSheWasAtThatClassSheWasATotallyDifferentBaby
#IDoFeelLikeWeHaveMissedOutOnALotButIJustWantToMakeSureWeHaveAReallyGreatSummerNow
#AtTheEndSheWasWavingAtEveryoneWithBothHandsAndTheWholeClassWentAww
#IDidFeelProud
#ISatUsInTheShadeToGiveBHerMilkAndOfCourseTheSunWentAwayStraightAway
#ItWasTheFirstTimeIHadFedHerFormulaInThePark
#ItTookHerAWhileToFallAsleepInHerPushchairButSheEventuallyDid
#AfterMonthsOfHavingAQuiteStrictScheduleIAmTryingToBeChillAboutAdaptingAndBeingFlexible
#TheOtherDayIGaveHerSomeLunchInTheParkWhichWasTheFirstTimeIHadDoneThatToo
#IAmTryingToBePreparedForSpontaneousMomentsWhichSoundsWeird
#JustHavingSnacksWithUsAndAPicnicBlanketAndToysInCaseTheWeatherIsSurprisinglyGood
#ItFeltWeirdToPackABagForBYesterdayWithAnythingSheMightNeedLikeNappiesAndAChangeOfClothes
#WeHaveNotReallyBeenOutFarOrLongEnoughForItToBeNecessary
#SometimesICatchMyselfAlreadyDreadingNextWinterButFingersCrossedWeWillNotHaveToGoThroughAllThatAgain

#TheLastFewDaysHaveFeltLikeHowTheLast10MonthsShouldHaveBeen

I can not believe that she is 10 months old. I say this every month and I will probably never stop saying it.

#MeetingUpWithFriendsAndTheirKidsAndBumpingIntoABabyFriendInTheParkAndGoingToAClass

Normal things that people used to do on the regular!

#SheGotMudOnHerSuitForTheFirstTimeInTheParkAsSheCrawledAboutWithABaby

I did feel proud. It took her a while to get the hang of crawling in it and then she was off.

#SheLikesToTryToEatEverythingAndIAmTryingToBeOkayWithLettingHerEatSomeDirt

Especially with not really seeing anyone as she hasn’t been to exposed to as many bugs as babies usually are.

#IHadToGetATwigOutOfHerMouthAndThenIThoughtSheWasTryingToEatAnotherOne

At first I was just being a bit too casual about it, but then I thought I should get it out of her mouth. I thought she’d swallowed it but she’d done a good job of hiding it.

#HoweverItWasACigaretteButtWhichIsObviouslyNotGreat

She turned her head and wouldn’t let me get it out. Grim.

#IMadeAJokeAboutItBeingTooEarlyForHerToStartAndThenICringed

‘It’s too early for you to start. Well, I hope you never start.’ *cringe*

#MySocialSkillsAreReallyTerribleButIAmNoLongerGoingToBeatMyselfUpForIt

I just need to try to work on my social skills. Need to stop having verbal diarrhoea. Need to learn how to spell diarrhoea right enough that spellcheck even knows what word I’m looking for. Need to just listen to people.

#IfPeopleLikeMeThenTheyLikeMeAndIfTheyDoNotThenIAmNotGoingToDwellOnIt

Oh, I’ll probably keep dwelling on it but it’s a waste of my energy. So here’s to trying!

#BJustLooksSoHappySeeingOtherBabiesAndYoungKidsThatIReallyHopeTheRulesDoNotGetStricterAgain

I’m getting a bit emotional. It’s so lovely to see her smiling at people and babies, even if they do try to put their fingers up her nose (babies not adults). I’m glad she doesn’t seem nervous or scared around others at the playground or in classes, though she does play shy sometimes.

#IPutBInAnOutfitForHerClassInsteadOfHerUsualOnesies

Outfit as in separate top and bottoms.

#ItWasProbablyOnlyTheThirdTimeThatSheHasBeenInAnOutfit

I think once for a baby class where I actually managed to find time to change her beforehand, once for pictures for my Dad (both before Xmas) and this class.

#TAndIBothThoughtThatSheDidNotLookLikeOurBaby

Outfits are annoying. I love onesies – they make it so easy to change her nappy and apply cream. After Tiago had changed her for bed we were like ‘yes that’s our baby!’

#IPlannedToGetThereEarlyButOfCourseIEndedUpRunningUpAHillWithAPushchair

Kate Bush’s Running Up That Hill keeps coming to mind, though I don’t think the song is actually about being late for baby classes. The class is not long after B’s lunchtime so I need to be more on it next week!

#BJustLovedLookingAroundAtEveryoneAndSmilingAtAllTheBabies

All the heart emojis. I think she enjoyed seeing people more than doing the class, though it was probably the same for me too.

B was generally sat facing everyone but occasionally she’d look back at me and my masked face. I think as she is older she recognises me more in it now.

#OfCourseSheDidNotWantToStayOnTheMatAndIHadToKeepGrabbingHerBack

In non-Covid times it would not be such an issue. Le sigh. I was joking that she hadn’t been trained for classes. *cringe*

#TheLastTimeSheWasAtThatClassSheWasATotallyDifferentBaby

She really didn’t do much, though it feels like a lifetime ago.

#IDoFeelLikeWeHaveMissedOutOnALotButIJustWantToMakeSureWeHaveAReallyGreatSummerNow

Everyone has obviously missed out on so much. These months waiting for classes to resume have been hard, but our big countdown is finally over.

#AtTheEndSheWasWavingAtEveryoneWithBothHandsAndTheWholeClassWentAww

We were singing a goodbye song and she was double waving.

#IDidFeelProud

It was cute. Again I’m getting emotional. I was so worried about the class and though she kept squirming away it was good.

#ISatUsInTheShadeToGiveBHerMilkAndOfCourseTheSunWentAwayStraightAway

We sat in a really awkward place as only awkward spots tend to have shade.

#ItWasTheFirstTimeIHadFedHerFormulaInThePark

Milestone. I am looking forward to her no longer having it in a couple of months though as it’s one less thing to think about, though I guess it will need to be replaced with something else.

#ItTookHerAWhileToFallAsleepInHerPushchairButSheEventuallyDid

I made the mistake of doing a lap around the park, I should have just walked towards home where the paving slabs are more uneven as I think it helps send her to sleep. It was weird noticing the surface of the paths again as I haven’t thought about it for a while – I don’t remember the last time B had a nap in her pushchair, possibly it was after the same class last year!

#AfterMonthsOfHavingAQuiteStrictScheduleIAmTryingToBeChillAboutAdaptingAndBeingFlexible

I haven’t had much to break/get in the way of her routine, so it’s quite sad that I see it as a challenge.

#TheOtherDayIGaveHerSomeLunchInTheParkWhichWasTheFirstTimeIHadDoneThatToo

I didn’t know if we’d be out long enough, but we were. She didn’t sleep well that night so I worried maybe it was due to that, but she had good meals yesterday and she woke up a couple of times. I think it’s probably because she’s teething?

#IAmTryingToBePreparedForSpontaneousMomentsWhichSoundsWeird

Just being prepared for staying out later or the weather suddenly improving, things like that.

#JustHavingSnacksWithUsAndAPicnicBlanketAndToysInCaseTheWeatherIsSurprisinglyGood

Being prepared for anything the day might throw at us. Well, to an extent. We’re never that far from home so we don’t need too much. Maybe later in the summer we can really go wild!

#ItFeltWeirdToPackABagForBYesterdayWithAnythingSheMightNeedLikeNappiesAndAChangeOfClothes

So weird. I was wondering why my back was aching a bit yesterday and it probably was from running up a hill while pushing a pushchair and having a backpack on. Again, wild!

#WeHaveNotReallyBeenOutFarOrLongEnoughForItToBeNecessary

I am scared of longer and further journeys but we can do it – if things have good timings. We will adapt I’m sure.

#SometimesICatchMyselfAlreadyDreadingNextWinterButFingersCrossedWeWillNotHaveToGoThroughAllThatAgain

I need to enjoy Spring and Summer, and even Autumn can be nice, before I get worried about Winter again. Hopefully there will be playgroups and things. Maybe I’ll have a job where B can be in nursery a bit. We’ll have to see.


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Oh Me, Oh Mãe

First Mother’s Day / Portrait Of A Mother Of A 9 Month Old (14th March 2021)

First Mother’s Day / Portrait Of A Mother Of A 9 Month Old (14th March 2021)
 
#TiagoGotHisFirstFathersDayWhenBWasOnlyAroundAWeekOld
#IHaveHadToWaitPatientlyFor9MonthsToGetMyFirstParentsDay
#TiagoGetsReallyStressedOutAboutWhatToDoForOccasionsButHeMadeANiceCardWithALotOfTextInsideThatHeSaidBToldHimToWrite
#HeWasOnAboutGettingMeRollerBladesButMaybeItIsNotTheBestTimeToStartBreakingSomeBones
#BsSkinLookedAlmostBackToNormalAndThenItStartedToGetBadAgain
#IThinkWeWillBeDealingWithItForAWhileButIGuessAtLeastWeKnowWhatWorksNow
#IHaveBeenFeelingALotBetterThisWeekThoughIAmNotReallySureWhy
#IThinkIHaveBeenSoBusyAndIKnowThingsAreChangingSoIAmFeelingMorePositive
#IWhineSoMuchInThisProjectWhichIsAwkwardButIDoLoveBeingAMother
#SeeingBGrowingAndChangingWeekToWeekIsSoRewarding
#ButNothingCanPrepareYouForThisMassiveLifeShift
#IAmFeelingMoreRelaxedWithBsMealTimesNowThatISetA30MinuteLimit
#IfSheIsHungryThenSheWillEatItSuperFast
#IfSheIsNotEatingThenAfter10MinutesIWillTrySomethingElseLikeMixingInHerDessertWhichIsUsuallyYoghurtAndFruit
#SheHasMilkBeforeHerSecondNapNowSoEvenIfSheDoesNotEatSheUsuallyDrinksWell
#TheOtherDayIStartedToSingThatTikTokSeaShantyToHerAndSheStartedToLaughSoThatWasTheSongOfTheDay
#IHadToLookUpTheLyricsAsIRealisedThatIHadBeenMakingThemUp
#MyClowningAndImprovTrainingIsDefinitelyComingInHandyForEntertainingB
#IDoLoveToMakeHerLaugh
#WhateverMakesHerLaughIJustKeepDoingItAndAmplifyingItUntilSheIsLaughedOut
#SheCanSuddenlyPlayWithToysThatSheCouldNotHoldBeforeAndIsInterestedInALotMoreThings
#SheHasStartedToOpenDrawersSoWeNeedToDoSomeMoreBabyProofing
#WeAreTryingToTeachHerToWaveWhichSheDoesSometimesButOtherTimesSheJustClaps
#IFeelLikeIShouldReallyBeLearningMoreAboutBabySignLanguageNow
#WhenWeDoOnlineBabyClassesIReallyLikeLearningTheSignsForSongs
#IAmAlsoFindingItEasierToTalkToHerNow
#IUsuallyJustKeepSayingCanYouSayThisOrThisAndSheDoesNotButSheWillOneDay
#OrIAmLikeLookAtThisToyCarrotItIsOrangeAndGreenAndItIsAVegetable
#TheMurderOfSarahEverardHasGotMeThinkingALotAboutAwkwardAndHorribleExperiencesInMyPast
#IHopeThatThingsWillBeDifferentForBAsSheGrowsUpButWeWillHaveToWaitAndSee

I was planning for this ‘entry’ to be Portrait Of A Mother Of A 9 Month Old, but then I realised Mother’s Day was coming up so I thought I would leave it until today. I haven’t done a shoot yet, but I fancy doing one with B so hopefully we’ll do one when she wakes up from her nap.

(6th April: Well I did the shoot and it involves one of my favourite themes of making myself not look very nice. I say that I’m not going to show B’s face, but this one shows her mouth and a bit of her nose. I was going to edit it, but it seemed a bit unnecessary.

I guess I do not want to show her whole face (well I posted a photo of B wearing her jaundice machine mask when I announced her birth anyways), and I particularly don’t want to show her eyes (which were covered in that photo). I feel like I should write more about this but I’m too tired. A topic for the future?)

#TiagoGotHisFirstFathersDayWhenBWasOnlyAroundAWeekOld

And here is the entry about that. Portugal has their Father’s Day on the 19th March every year, so that’s in 5 days time.

#IHaveHadToWaitPatientlyFor9MonthsToGetMyFirstParentsDay

It looks like Mother’s Day in Portugal is the first Sunday in May. Weird that Mother’s Day moves around but Father’s Day is the same date every year? I guess Portuguese Father’s Day might mean more to Tiago?

#TiagoGetsReallyStressedOutAboutWhatToDoForOccasionsButHeMadeANiceCardWithALotOfTextInsideThatHeSaidBToldHimToWrite

Bless him. He gets super stressed then keeps talking about it as the day approaches. It’s a commercial holiday that I am not really that bothered about, but I guess it just feels somewhat momentous as it is my first. I much prefer a hand-drawn card with a nice personal message to anything else, plus as it’s the weekend he has given me plenty of time to do my work which means more to me.

#HeWasOnAboutGettingMeRollerBladesButMaybeItIsNotTheBestTimeToStartBreakingSomeBones

When we lived in Liverpool people on skateboards and roller blades/skates would constantly go past us. I used to love roller blading – I remember going round my neighbour’s garage to Gina G a lot – and going to roller discos. I was never good on hills though. Just nice flat terrain for me please. I’d be too embarrassed to go out on them by myself…

#BsSkinLookedAlmostBackToNormalAndThenItStartedToGetBadAgain #IThinkWeWillBeDealingWithItForAWhileButIGuessAtLeastWeKnowWhatWorksNow

It’s a rollercoaster. Basically we can’t be lazy. We have some hydrocortisone cream that we apply twice a day when it’s bad, but her skin go to the point where we couldn’t even see where it needed to be applied. Now it is creeping back, so we need to keep an eye on it. We also use Dermol 500 which is super easy to apply and her skin seemed to get much better when we started to apply that every hour or two the other day. Then we have Zerobase which is a heavier ointment that we use before she goes to bed, and once or twice during the day.

(I hope this may be of use for someone, but I know different things work for different people. These are all things that B has been prescribed.)

#IHaveBeenFeelingALotBetterThisWeekThoughIAmNotReallySureWhy

I generally feel better at the weekend.

#IThinkIHaveBeenSoBusyAndIKnowThingsAreChangingSoIAmFeelingMorePositive

I have a temporary part time job coming up and I’m excited to get out of the house more. Yesterday we bumped into a woman and her baby who we met the other week, so I am hoping soon we will know more people.

#IWhineSoMuchInThisProjectWhichIsAwkwardButIDoLoveBeingAMother

I worry that B will see this work when she is older and think I hated raising her. I don’t.

#SeeingBGrowingAndChangingWeekToWeekIsSoRewarding

She changes so fast. I guess I did not really know how she would be at 9 months, but she seems to be doing more than I thought she would?

#ButNothingCanPrepareYouForThisMassiveLifeShift

I never really stayed in bed until late, but I definitely wasn’t waking up between 6 and 7 every day. You just get used to it and adjust your bedtime I guess, but that is the biggest shock I think really. We could let her lie in, but then she’ll probably go to bed later and I like having free time in the evening. Plus now she is often awake before 7 (when we’d like to get up) so that wouldn’t work.

#IAmFeelingMoreRelaxedWithBsMealTimesNowThatISetA30MinuteLimit

I thought I had mentioned this in previous hashtags, but maybe I didn’t? Well at meals now I give her 30 minutes to eat as otherwise we can sit there for an hour with me getting stressed.

#IfSheIsHungryThenSheWillEatItSuperFast

Breakfast is usually 15 minutes.

#IfSheIsNotEatingThenAfter10MinutesIWillTrySomethingElseLikeMixingInHerDessertWhichIsUsuallyYoghurtAndFruit

Yesterday she wasn’t eating dinner, but then I started to give her a bit of yoghurt with mango and she got eating so then I mixed it all together and she ate 90% of it. Great.

#SheHasMilkBeforeHerSecondNapNowSoEvenIfSheDoesNotEatSheUsuallyDrinksWell

Maybe I talked about this before, I’m not sure. Before she was just having milk when she woke up and before she went to bed, but on my sister’s suggestion we now give her milk then. It makes me feel not so stressed about her maybe not eating so much lunch.

#TheOtherDayIStartedToSingThatTikTokSeaShantyToHerAndSheStartedToLaughSoThatWasTheSongOfTheDay

This song. I’ve sung it so many times that I’m getting better at hitting a lower note at the end of the chorus. I’m not sure why she likes it, but she claps. I kept making videos of her doing stuff, then I’d start to sing it and she’d look at me.

#IHadToLookUpTheLyricsAsIRealisedThatIHadBeenMakingThemUp

Apparently it’s not about a weatherman, but a wellerman (which is the name of the song.)

#MyClowningAndImprovTrainingIsDefinitelyComingInHandyForEntertainingB

When we (Tiago and me, as B was not born yet) lived in London I used to do a lot of improv classes and courses, and I did a couple of clowning courses too. I started a stand-up comedy course but we moved to Liverpool before I finished it. It is something that I would like to revisit at some point.

#IDoLoveToMakeHerLaugh

I love to make anyone laugh, but the sound of babies laughing is one of the best in the world.

#WhateverMakesHerLaughIJustKeepDoingItAndAmplifyingItUntilSheIsLaughedOut

It’s great training. I’ve thought that maybe I should be a children’s entertainer? It seems less scary than making adults laugh.

#SheCanSuddenlyPlayWithToysThatSheCouldNotHoldBeforeAndIsInterestedInALotMoreThings

I love digging out a toy that she did not look at twice when she last saw it, but now she can really interact with it. I think I feel happier too as she can entertain herself a bit better now and is happy as long as you’re sat next to her. Tiago likes to lie on the floor while B crawls over him and chills next to him playing with her toys.

#SheHasStartedToOpenDrawersSoWeNeedToDoSomeMoreBabyProofing

Anything that she shouldn’t play with she obviously loves. My Nan has a trolley that looks a bit like a tea cart. She loves to stick her fingers in the wheels…

#WeAreTryingToTeachHerToWaveWhichSheDoesSometimesButOtherTimesSheJustClaps

She’s young. She’s got time. One moment she will really get it and switch between clapping and waving, and then she’ll just clap. The YouTube baby classes that we do talk about clapping more than they do waving, so it’s fair enough.

#IFeelLikeIShouldReallyBeLearningMoreAboutBabySignLanguageNow

I did look for a local class but one was too far away really and there was a waiting list, so I’ll just look for more online videos.

Here are a few.

#WhenWeDoOnlineBabyClassesIReallyLikeLearningTheSignsForSongs

I feel like I am learning something and using my brain, which feels quite nice. It’s a good memory test.

#IAmAlsoFindingItEasierToTalkToHerNow #IUsuallyJustKeepSayingCanYouSayThisOrThisAndSheDoesNotButSheWillOneDay #OrIAmLikeLookAtThisToyCarrotItIsOrangeAndGreenAndItIsAVegetable

I’ve said a lot in the past that I do not know what to say to B all day. I guess I have been overthinking it a lot. I can just keep it simple. ‘Say hi’ say hello etc.’ and then just talking about the colours of things and pointing things out to her etc.

#TheMurderOfSarahEverardHasGotMeThinkingALotAboutAwkwardAndHorribleExperiencesInMyPast

This feels quite randomly slot into the bottom. I originally wanted to say more about it, but yesterday I ended up writing a blog post about it all instead. I feel a bit awkward about it, but I ended up spending a lot of my free time in the morning on it so I thought I should share it.

#IHopeThatThingsWillBeDifferentForBAsSheGrowsUpButWeWillHaveToWaitAndSee

Fingers crossed. I want her to grow up feeling more confident than I ever did, and her to feel able to call out/tell someone/report when something is not right, or something bad has happened.


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Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Portrait Of A Mother Of An 8 Month Old (13th February 2021)

Self-portrait staring into the distance with a reflection of myself behind.
Portrait Of A Mother Of An 8 Month Old (13th February 2021)
 
#ICanNotBelieveThatBIsTwoThirdsOfAYearOld
#AndAlsoThatThisIsMy80thEntryForThisProject
#ICanNotSayThatEveryPhotoIHaveTakenForItIsGoodButIAmHappyToHaveARecordOfThingsAnywaysEspeciallyWithAllTheWriting
#JustYesterdayTiagoWalkedIntoOurBedroomHoldingBAndIThoughtWhoaIAmTheMotherOfThisSmilingYoungHuman
#IRealisedIHadActuallySwitchedOffABitAsIKnewThatTiagoWouldLookAfterHerUntilHerBedtime
#UsuallyISpendMostOfTheTimeAwayFromBOnEdgeThatSheMayWakeUpOrThatIAmRunningOutOfTimeToGetStuffDone
#IAmJustFeelingQuiteTired
#TwoNightsAgoAsSoonAsBWentToBedIJustGotIntoBedAndWatchedTheQueensGambit
#IWasExhaustedButIDidAlsoJustWantToWatchIt
#LastNightIMadeMyselfDoTheWorkThatINeededToDoFirstBeforeWatchingTheFinalEpisode
#IHaveNotReallyWatchedMuchTVLatelyApartFromItsASinAndDragRace
#CatchingTheEndOfBargainHuntWhenSortingOutBsLunchIsAlsoADailyHighlight
#ThoughIDidMissItYesterdayAndDoQuiteALotOfDaysActually
#NoOffenceToBButIAmABitBoredOfFeedingHer
#IThinkItIsMoreTheStressOfItThanAnythingElse
#OurUsualTrickForIfSheDoesNotSeemToWantToEatAtLunchIsToPutSomeGreekStyleYoghurtWithHerFood
#YesterdaySheDidNotWantToEatHerLunchButThenSuddenlySheHadFinishedHerBowlOfScrambledEggTomatoAndToastWithSomeYoghurt
#OrAtDinnerWeJustStartToFeedHerHerDessertWhichIsUsuallyYoghurtAndFruit
#ButThenWeMixSomeOfHerDinnerInWithItTooAndSoSheHasWeirdCombinationsOfFood
#WeUsuallyWaitAWhileFirstThoughBeforeDoingThis
#HerSkinIsLoadsBetterWhichIsARelief
#IThoughtThatRestaurantsWouldBeAllowedToReopenSoonButIJustLookedForTheArticleAgainAndSawItWasOnlyInJersey
#IWasNotBotheredAboutItButIThoughtItWouldSoonMeanGoodNewsForBabyGroups
#IWasThinkingYesterdayThatIThinkIHaveOnlyChangedBsNappyInPublicTwice
#OnceInARestaurantToiletAndOnceAtTheParkJustOnTheGrass
#ItIsJustWeirdThinkingThatIHaveAn8MonthOldButHaveOnlyBeenOutFarAndLongEnoughToChangeHerInPublicTwice
#IThinkTiagoHasProbablyChangedHerMoreThanMeThoughAsInTheEarlyDaysIFeltTooScaredNervousAndAwkwardTo
#WeWereSayingYesterdayThatItSeemsWeirdThatAtOnePointWeWereGoingOutToRestaurantsOnceAWeekish
#TiagoSaysThatHeIsReallyEnjoyingHisPlaytimeWithB
#EspeciallyNowThatSheShowsALotMoreOfHerPersonalityAndStartsToPlayWithHerToysAndRespondMore

#ICanNotBelieveThatBIsTwoThirdsOfAYearOld

Time really flies.

Every time I do one of these ‘Portrait Of A Mother…’ posts I think ‘how has another month gone by already?’

#AndAlsoThatThisIsMy80thEntryForThisProject

My pregnancy project was 84 entries. I thought I should note that for some reason.

#ICanNotSayThatEveryPhotoIHaveTakenForItIsGoodButIAmHappyToHaveARecordOfThingsAnywaysEspeciallyWithAllTheWriting

In the whole project how many photos am I really happy with? Probably about 10 right now, but perhaps more – I am not going to go through and count.

It’s a record and as time goes on some entries will make me cringe more and some less. Some photos I will grow to love, some I will love more and some I will tell myself for in some ways or another – ‘I should have done … instead’.

#JustYesterdayTiagoWalkedIntoOurBedroomHoldingBAndIThoughtWhoaIAmTheMotherOfThisSmilingYoungHuman

I love when they walk in and B is just super happy to see me.

She doesn’t have much time away from me to miss me…

#IRealisedIHadActuallySwitchedOffABitAsIKnewThatTiagoWouldLookAfterHerUntilHerBedtime

I think I left the living room at 6.30pm and her bedtime is around 7pm.

#UsuallyISpendMostOfTheTimeAwayFromBOnEdgeThatSheMayWakeUpOrThatIAmRunningOutOfTimeToGetStuffDone

Usually I am working during B’s naps, or after she goes to bed and I am normally the closest person to be able to respond to her (though I know it is temporary and she will sleep again). Or like now it is 8am and Tiago has been looking after her since 7am while I did my yoga and a bit of work. I know I should go downstairs soon and give him some time to do something. Or when my Mum is here and she is looking after B and I know she can not stay too long, or we have a baby class to attend anyways.

#IAmJustFeelingQuiteTired

My diary entry each night usually starts with ‘I am tired’ or some variation of the statement.

#TwoNightsAgoAsSoonAsBWentToBedIJustGotIntoBedAndWatchedTheQueensGambit

I was slow to get into it. My younger sister said it was good, but I was watching 10-15 minutes at a time stretching in the evenings and then I suddenly got into it.

#IWasExhaustedButIDidAlsoJustWantToWatchIt

I had worked all through B’s naps so I was shattered.

#LastNightIMadeMyselfDoTheWorkThatINeededToDoFirstBeforeWatchingTheFinalEpisode

I knew I would find it harder to watch the episode then do work after. I made the mistake of not getting into bed to watch the rest of the episode after stretching though.

#IHaveNotReallyWatchedMuchTVLatelyApartFromItsASinAndDragRace

UK and US Drag Race. I feel like there is so much TV to watch, but I should probably have a break now before I find something else to watch. I have stopped reading so much and I would like to get back into it.

#CatchingTheEndOfBargainHuntWhenSortingOutBsLunchIsAlsoADailyHighlight

I can not be bothered for most of the episode where they are finding stuff. Just show me how much they made or lost!

#ThoughIDidMissItYesterdayAndDoQuiteALotOfDaysActually

Fail. Sometimes I am feeding B and I have to carefully try to see what is going on – take B’s bowl away so she doesn’t knock it on the floor/make sure she doesn’t choke.

#NoOffenceToBButIAmABitBoredOfFeedingHer

I love you, but I do not look forward to mealtimes. Breakfast is alright.

#IThinkItIsMoreTheStressOfItThanAnythingElse

Has she eaten enough? Will she sleep through the night? Not sure why I worry really as she has some milk before bed which usually fills her up.

#OurUsualTrickForIfSheDoesNotSeemToWantToEatAtLunchIsToPutSomeGreekStyleYoghurtWithHerFood

I need to see how much is too much for a baby really. We don’t give her LOADS though.

#YesterdaySheDidNotWantToEatHerLunchButThenSuddenlySheHadFinishedHerBowlOfScrambledEggTomatoAndToastWithSomeYoghurt

Well, a lot of toast ends up on the floor and in her ‘pouch’ (where her bib collects food in her lap) along with the egg. The yoghurt did make her more keen though.

#OrAtDinnerWeJustStartToFeedHerHerDessertWhichIsUsuallyYoghurtAndFruit #ButThenWeMixSomeOfHerDinnerInWithItTooAndSoSheHasWeirdCombinationsOfFood

If she isn’t hungry then she will not eat it at all. I hope we are not creating a fussy eater, but there are worse things we could be adding to meals than plain yoghurt I think.

#WeUsuallyWaitAWhileFirstThoughBeforeDoingThis

10-30 minutes of us getting stressed, then ‘oh yeah, yoghurt!’

#HerSkinIsLoadsBetterWhichIsARelief

Thank you Hydromol (and to our friend who recommended it.)

#IThoughtThatRestaurantsWouldBeAllowedToReopenSoonButIJustLookedForTheArticleAgainAndSawItWasOnlyInJersey

I wondered why the article was no longer trending. I need to tell Tiago that I was telling lies last night…

#IWasNotBotheredAboutItButIThoughtItWouldSoonMeanGoodNewsForBabyGroups

I will miss the convenience of online baby classes when we can go to them in person again, though I think they are still planning some online ones for now for people who are unsure about returning to real life classes.

#IWasThinkingYesterdayThatIThinkIHaveOnlyChangedBsNappyInPublicTwice #OnceInARestaurantToiletAndOnceAtTheParkJustOnTheGrass

A weird, but true thought – unless I am forgetting other occasions.

#ItIsJustWeirdThinkingThatIHaveAn8MonthOldButHaveOnlyBeenOutFarAndLongEnoughToChangeHerInPublicTwice

Well, one time was without Tiago.

#IThinkTiagoHasProbablyChangedHerMoreThanMeThoughAsInTheEarlyDaysIFeltTooScaredNervousAndAwkwardToo

He definitely has. In the car park at the petrol station is another time on his list.

#WeWereSayingYesterdayThatItSeemsWeirdThatAtOnePointWeWereGoingOutToRestaurantsOnceAWeekish

Odd. Remember Eat Out To Help Out?

#TiagoSaysThatHeIsReallyEnjoyingHisPlaytimeWithB #EspeciallyNowThatSheShowsALotMoreOfHerPersonalityAndStartsToPlayWithHerToysAndRespondMore

Cute. She definitely does engage more.

It feels like there should be more to this post, but nope! It’s nearly 8.30am and I need to go to see what T and B are up to!


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Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Portrait Of A Mother Of A 7 Month Old (13th January 2021)

Me looking at the camera with my head resting on my knee.
Portrait Of A Mother Of A 7 Month Old (13th January 2021)
 
#ICanNotBelieveThatBIs7MonthsAlready
#ButWhatIsWeirderIsThatSheWasNotEvenBornYetWhenThePandemicStarted
#SinceMyLastEntryBHasSleptBellyDownAFewTimesNow
#WeShouldProbablyGetABabyMonitorButEveryTimeILookAtThemIFeelABitOverwhelmedByHowManyThereAre
#WeJustSeemToHaveGotByWithoutOneSoFarSoMaybeWeDoNotReallyNeedOne
#IDoNotThinkThatIHaveMentionedThatBsHairSeemsToBeGrowingALotMoreSinceSheHasStartedToEatSolids
#ISwearThatSheChangesSoMuchFromDayToDay
#SheSeemsToHaveDiscoveredBlowingRaspberriesAgainAndWasDoingItAt3InTheMorning
#MyLastShootLeftMeFeelingABitSoreAsItWasQuiteAWorkout
#IHaveBeenReadingTinaTurnersBookAboutChangingYourLifeForGood
#ItIsAnInterestingReadAndIAlreadyFeelMorePositiveAboutThings
#IKnowThatICanNotChangeEverythingThatHappensToMeButICanChangeHowIReactToThings
#IFeelMorePositiveButShortTermChangesAreEasyWhereasTheHarderThingIsImplementingChangesForALongPeriodOfTime
#AtTheWeekendIGotReallyAnnoyedOnAWalkAsIRealisedThatNoOneReallyKeepsTheirDistanceAnymore
#WeWalkInSingleFileButThenThePeopleWeAreGoingPastJustWalkSideBySide
#NowIHaveStartedToWalkOnTheGrassAwayFromPeopleMore
#ItAnnoysMeThatIHaveToDoItButIWouldRatherDoThatThenGetAnnoyedWhenTheyWalkTooClose
#YesterdayIWasOutWithBAndWeWereComingToAPointWhereTwoPathsConnect
#SomeoneWasWalkingOnTheOtherPathSoIThoughtIHadBetterHurryUpToGetOntoTheMainPathBeforeThem
#ICouldHearThemWalkingSoCloseToMeAndIWasGettingAnnoyed
#IStoppedAtAPointWhereTheyCouldWalkPastMeAndWhenITurnedToGlareAtThemNoOneWasThere
#ILookedDownAndIHadALeafStuckToMyBootThatWasMakingTheNoise
#IHaveNotBeenReadingTheNewsSoMuchAndNoOneKnowsWhenThisLockdownWillEnd
#TheDaysAreLongYetShortAtTheSameTimeButIHavePlentyToDoToKeepMeBusy
#IFeelBadWhenISitAndDoNothingThoughNowIHaveSomePaidResearchWorkToDoSoIWillHaveLessTimeToFaffAnyways
#INeedToGetBetterAtRelaxingAndLearnToBeAbleToReadABookAnywhere
#AtTheMomentIOnlyLikeToReadInBedButLastNightILostAboutAnHourOfGoodReadingTimeByJustFaffingOnMyPhoneElsewhere
#IFedBFishYesterdayAndItSmelledHorribleSoIThinkIWillLeaveFishyMealsToTiago
#IAlsoNeedToStopFeelingGuiltyAboutBSpendingTimeWithMyNanAndMum
#TheyAreHappyToHelpAndIAmSureALotOfPeopleWouldLoveTheExtraSupportSoINeedToJustAppreciateWhatIHaveAndNotFeelBadAboutIt

#ICanNotBelieveThatBIs7MonthsAlready

I am glad that I have this project to look back on, as the time has gone by so fast. I was looking at photos of B when she was super small the other day and it seemed like years ago…

#ButWhatIsWeirderIsThatSheWasNotEvenBornYetWhenThePandemicStarted

I know this has all been going on for a long time, but it just shows how long it has been.

#SinceMyLastEntryBHasSleptBellyDownAFewTimesNow

I have stopped rolling her back now if she is quiet and calm. She has only really done it during her short naps anyways.

#WeShouldProbablyGetABabyMonitorButEveryTimeILookAtThemIFeelABitOverwhelmedByHowManyThereAre #WeJustSeemToHaveGotByWithoutOneSoFarSoMaybeWeDoNotReallyNeedOne

There have been times where we have gone to get one, but T and I really need to sit down together to look – which hasn’t happened yet.

#IDoNotThinkThatIHaveMentionedThatBsHairSeemsToBeGrowingALotMoreSinceSheHasStartedToEatSolids

Maybe I have? It just seems to have grown a lot in the past month or so.

#ISwearThatSheChangesSoMuchFromDayToDay

Her face can look so different from day to day. Her hair colour seems to change from day to day.

#SheSeemsToHaveDiscoveredBlowingRaspberriesAgainAndWasDoingItAt3InTheMorning

Yesterday we were walking past an older couple and she started to do it. I felt a little embarrassed but also found it quite funny.

#MyLastShootLeftMeFeelingABitSoreAsItWasQuiteAWorkout

When you see just the selected photo it doesn’t look like much, but when you think that I rarely take just one shot then you can imagine how it might have made my muscles hurt the next day…

#IHaveBeenReadingTinaTurnersBookAboutChangingYourLifeForGood #ItIsAnInterestingReadAndIAlreadyFeelMorePositiveAboutThings

Happiness Becomes You: A Guide to Changing Your Life for Good by Tina Turner’.

I’m just taking the bits from it that I think will be helpful. Am I going to start chanting? Not sure, but I think I do need to have a phrase or something to mutter under my breath from time to time.

#IKnowThatICanNotChangeEverythingThatHappensToMeButICanChangeHowIReactToThings

I have known this for years, but something has just clicked in my mind in the last week.

#IFeelMorePositiveButShortTermChangesAreEasyWhereasTheHarderThingIsImplementingChangesForALongPeriodOfTime

I am good at short term changes, but yeah sustaining things for the long term is the challenge. I think my mood diary is also helping me to really think about how I am feeling and why. I am trying to be better at communicating as well.

#AtTheWeekendIGotReallyAnnoyedOnAWalkAsIRealisedThatNoOneReallyKeepsTheirDistanceAnymore #WeWalkInSingleFileButThenThePeopleWeAreGoingPastJustWalkSideBySide

I do not get it. Also if you are running you should be making the biggest effort to get out of the way of people you are going past.

The other day there a lot of people blocking the path while chatting with their dogs. I walked on the grass to get away from them, but then a guy was about to walk right next to to me on the grass, so I had to move even further away.

This is boring. I am supposed to be more positive. I just want to vent about it though.

If you’re going to chat on opposite sides of a path when you have space to be stood on the same side – stand on the same side. I don’t like having to awkwardly walk through someone’s conversation and be super close to people.

#NowIHaveStartedToWalkOnTheGrassAwayFromPeopleMore #ItAnnoysMeThatIHaveToDoItButIWouldRatherDoThatThenGetAnnoyedWhenTheyWalkTooClose

Instead of seeing what people do and getting annoyed about it, I just walk on the grass and feel annoyed for having to do so, but feel less annoyed at people. I think it works out. Maybe?

#YesterdayIWasOutWithBAndWeWereComingToAPointWhereTwoPathsConnect #SomeoneWasWalkingOnTheOtherPathSoIThoughtIHadBetterHurryUpToGetOntoTheMainPathBeforeThem #ICouldHearThemWalkingSoCloseToMeAndIWasGettingAnnoyed #IStoppedAtAPointWhereTheyCouldWalkPastMeAndWhenITurnedToGlareAtThemNoOneWasThere #ILookedDownAndIHadALeafStuckToMyBootThatWasMakingTheNoise

It made me laugh. They’d gone down the path that I was walking on, but it’s a weird bit where generally everyone is walking to get onto the main path – though obviously not in this case.

#IHaveNotBeenReadingTheNewsSoMuchAndNoOneKnowsWhenThisLockdownWillEnd

I just had to have a look. Mid-February maybe? I don’t know. In my mind I had it as April, so maybe it’s best to keep thinking that and be surprised if it’s sooner?

#TheDaysAreLongYetShortAtTheSameTimeButIHavePlentyToDoToKeepMeBusy

I have made a schedule for my own work, which is quite nice.

#IFeelBadWhenISitAndDoNothingThoughNowIHaveSomePaidResearchWorkToDoSoIWillHaveLessTimeToFaffAnyways

I was looking forward to taking part in a writing workshop for a couple of weeks, but B’s sleep went bad. Good job I turned it down, as the paid work is more important right now. I’d like to do a writing/poetry/creative writing course at some point though.

#INeedToGetBetterAtRelaxingAndLearnToBeAbleToReadABookAnywhere #AtTheMomentIOnlyLikeToReadInBedButLastNightILostAboutAnHourOfGoodReadingTimeByJustFaffingOnMyPhoneElsewhere

I do not like faffing on my phone. I am really enjoying reading, so I need to just be able to sit down anywhere in the house and read. It is relaxing, yet I feel productive?

#IFedBFishYesterdayAndItSmelledHorribleSoIThinkIWillLeaveFishyMealsToTiago

She likes to mush her hands into everything these days, then grab one of your fingers while she eats.

#IAlsoNeedToStopFeelingGuiltyAboutBSpendingTimeWithMyNanAndMum #TheyAreHappyToHelpAndIAmSureALotOfPeopleWouldLoveTheExtraSupportSoINeedToJustAppreciateWhatIHaveAndNotFeelBadAboutIt

My Nan will just hold B while I warm B’s food up and things. Nothing major. My Mum watched B for an hour yesterday while I did some research work, which I felt bad about but it needs to be done. I also feel guilty when T watches B, even though he is her Dad. I need to learn to accept help and appreciate it, as if I didn’t have it I’m sure I’d want it!


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Categories
Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Portrait Of A Mother Of A 6 Month Old (16th December 2020)

Portrait Of A Mother Of A 6 Month Old (16th December 2020)
 
#IHaveBeenFeelingMuchBetterThisWeek
#IDecidedToStartMyFinalCodingCourseYesterday
#IHadBeenPuttingItOffButIHadPaidForItAlreadyAndIDoubtMuchWillHappenInTheNextMonth
#IAmStressedAboutDoingItButAtTheSameTimeIFeelReallyGoodWhenIGetThingsRight
#LastWeekIFeltTerribleAndIWouldJustFeedBInTheNightIfSheWokeUp
#ThenSheWouldUsuallySleepUntil8Or8Thirty
#ButThenIWouldFeelGuiltyForGettingUpSoLateAndSheWouldHaveToHaveShorterNapsInTheDayAndEndUpGoingToBedCloserTo8
#TheLast3MorningsWeHaveAimedToGetUpAround7
#ThoughYesterdaySheWasAwakeAt5ThirtyAndAt6IGaveUpAndFedHer
#ButIGotALotDoneDuringHerNaps
#WeWentToABabyClassAndSheFellAsleepOnTheWayBackSoWeEndedUpPuttingHerToBedAround6Thirty
#SheWokeUpAt9ishAndWeFedHerThen
#ButWhenSheWokeUpAt2ITriedForLongerToPutHerBackToSleepWithoutFeedingHerAsIKnewSheWasNotHungryAndWantedToSleep
#SheIsEatingALotOfFoodDuringTheDaySoSheShouldNotNeedFeedingSoMuchAtNight
#YesterdayIMadeButterbeanAndAvocadoForHer
#ButIPutTooMuchLemonInItAndItDidNotGoWell
#IShouldNotTryNewRecipesBeforeSheHasAClassAsIGotSuperStressedWorryingThatSheHadNotHadEnoughToEat
#AndWeEndedUpMakingItToClassJustOnTimeWhenIHadPlannedToBeALittleEarly
#MyMumHadBroughtSomeOutfitsRoundForHerAndIHadWantedToPutHerInOne
#NopeSheWoreAOnesieLikeSheHasDoneForHerWholeExistence
#IAmJustGoingToTryAddingSomeCarrotsToHerLeftoverFood
#IfSheDoesNotLikeItThenIWillJustHaveToEatIt
#IForgotToMentionInMyLastEntryThatThereIsAWaitingTimeOf3To6WeeksForTheServiceThatMyHealthVisitorToldMeToRing
#ItHappensALotWhereIFeelLikeINeedHelpForALongTime
#WhenIEventuallyAskForHelpThereIsAlwaysALongWaitingList
#ThenByTheTimeTheyGetRoundToGettingBackInTouchIFeelALotBetter
#IHaveAlwaysBeenVeryUpAndDownThough
#AndMyWorkPlaysABigPartInIt
#GettingUpEarlierAndGivingMyselfMoreOfAChanceToGetThingsDoneDefinitelyMakesMeFeelBetter
#ThoughThereWillBeDaysWhereIDoJustNeedToSleepThroughHerNapsAndThatIsFineToo

#IHaveBeenFeelingMuchBetterThisWeek

Last week I just felt awful (I’m writing this on 16th December). I just wanted to lie in bed at any opportunity, and I cried a lot.

#IDecidedToStartMyFinalCodingCourseYesterday #IHadBeenPuttingItOffButIHadPaidForItAlreadyAndIDoubtMuchWillHappenInTheNextMonth #IAmStressedAboutDoingItButAtTheSameTimeIFeelReallyGoodWhenIGetThingsRight

I saw a friend who asked how it was all going. I had forgotten about it, so I thought about starting next week but I thought it was best just to sign up and get on with it while I felt in the mood to.

I found that I was just faffing a lot in the evenings once B had gone to bed.

#LastWeekIFeltTerribleAndIWouldJustFeedBInTheNightIfSheWokeUp

We used to make more of an effort to try to get her to go back to sleep. She does sleep through the night at times, so I knew she couldn’t be that hungry, but feeding her is a quick way to make her go back to sleep.

#ThenSheWouldUsuallySleepUntil8Or8Thirty

Especially if it was 5am. I’d just be rushing to feed her as I knew she would definitely sleep for a long time afterwards. I don’t mind starting our day at 6, but 5 is too early. If she wakes up pre-6 and is being quiet it’s fine, but if she is screaming then something needs to happen.

#ButThenIWouldFeelGuiltyForGettingUpSoLateAndSheWouldHaveToHaveShorterNapsInTheDayAndEndUpGoingToBedCloserTo8

So basically I wouldn’t get anything done, which would make me feel worse and make me want to lie in bed and cry more.

#TheLast3MorningsWeHaveAimedToGetUpAround7

I like to do some yoga/stretching in the morning. We were getting up late and then T would have to get ready to start work, whereas if we get up at 7 he can feed B while I stretch. Though the last 2 days I’ve had to feed her and make other time for my yoga as T didn’t sleep very well two nights ago and this morning he had to go out to work for once (instead of working at home).

#ThoughYesterdaySheWasAwakeAt5ThirtyAndAt6IGaveUpAndFedHer #ButIGotALotDoneDuringHerNaps

At 6am it seemed like ‘fair enough, let’s just start the day and then in 2 hours she will be having a nap again, so I know I can get things done’. I’m not looking forward to her dropping another nap. Apparently it should be done between 7 and 9 months. I’m hoping it goes towards the end of the 9 months, but we’ll just have to see how B is.

#WeWentToABabyClassAndSheFellAsleepOnTheWayBackSoWeEndedUpPuttingHerToBedAround6Thirty

I did get a bit stressed out that she was asleep for so long. It feels weird that she should have dinner around 4ish, but I managed to stretch it until 4.30pm and then extended her awake time to 6.30ish. Apologies if some of this stuff is super boring.

#SheWokeUpAt9ishAndWeFedHerThen

T was just about to get into bed when she woke up. We do usually do a dream feed around 9.30/10 anyways. Sometimes we think about dropping it, but I have read that some people suggest doing it until 1 years old. I know some babies don’t have it, but it seems to work (at times) for us.

#ButWhenSheWokeUpAt2ITriedForLongerToPutHerBackToSleepWithoutFeedingHerAsIKnewSheWasNotHungryAndWantedToSleep #SheIsEatingALotOfFoodDuringTheDaySoSheShouldNotNeedFeedingSoMuchAtNight

I am surprised by how much she eats at times.

Also, when trying to put her back to sleep I usually put my hand on her chest and if she turns her head to the side quite quickly I know she wants to sleep. She was also lifting her legs up and throwing them down quick, which is another sign that she wants to sleep. I was about to get her some milk, but I realised that she wasn’t really crying much, so I tried one more time to see if she would sleep. I rubbed her forehead a little bit and eventually she went off.

I just read my book (André Leon Talley’s The Chiffon Trenches) a little bit, as sometimes it is better just to read and observe rather than try to go back to sleep and get annoyed when she won’t settle.

#YesterdayIMadeButterbeanAndAvocadoForHer #ButIPutTooMuchLemonInItAndItDidNotGoWell

Whoops. I have seen plenty of videos of animals and babies trying lemon for the first time, and she had a very similar look.

#IShouldNotTryNewRecipesBeforeSheHasAClassAsIGotSuperStressedWorryingThatSheHadNotHadEnoughToEat

She had a few spoons, then I got a pouch of food out of the cupboard but by that point I think she was too traumatised and wouldn’t take anything off of the spoon. I gave her 4 oz of milk, which she drank most of, but I worried it would not be enough.

#AndWeEndedUpMakingItToClassJustOnTimeWhenIHadPlannedToBeALittleEarly

I had wanted to go 10 minutes early to try to talk to other people. I did end up talking to someone which was nice, but the next class isn’t for a few weeks now.

#MyMumHadBroughtSomeOutfitsRoundForHerAndIHadWantedToPutHerInOne

‘Make sure you take some pictures’.

#NopeSheWoreAOnesieLikeSheHasDoneForHerWholeExistence

Annoyingly there was a cute photo op set up too. I feel like I can’t be bothered to dress her in outfits unless we go to class though. When we go out for walks she is usually in her pram suit, so no one can see.

I’m sure soon I’ll get used to putting her in other clothes…

#IAmJustGoingToTryAddingSomeCarrotsToHerLeftoverFood #IfSheDoesNotLikeItThenIWillJustHaveToEatIt

I already have butterbean dip to eat as the recipe didn’t ask for the whole tin of beans.

I made this one, since I had all of the ingredients.

#IForgotToMentionInMyLastEntryThatThereIsAWaitingTimeOf3To6WeeksForTheServiceThatMyHealthVisitorToldMeToRing #ItHappensALotWhereIFeelLikeINeedHelpForALongTime #WhenIEventuallyAskForHelpThereIsAlwaysALongWaitingList #ThenByTheTimeTheyGetRoundToGettingBackInTouchIFeelALotBetter

This definitely happened while I was making my Neblina project. By the time they call though I might feel like I need some help again. I definitely have reoccurring issues that I need help working on.

My work is therapeutic, but it can only do so much.

#IHaveAlwaysBeenVeryUpAndDownThough #AndMyWorkPlaysABigPartInIt #GettingUpEarlierAndGivingMyselfMoreOfAChanceToGetThingsDoneDefinitelyMakesMeFeelBetter

It’s nice to start the day feeling like I don’t have all of my to-do list hanging over me. That means I can give B more of my attention (not a stressed out Mum thinking about the many things I want/need to do).

#ThoughThereWillBeDaysWhereIDoJustNeedToSleepThroughHerNapsAndThatIsFineToo

The good thing about her going to bed earlier too (I’m going to aim for a 7pm bedtime in future) is that I usually get stuff done earlier, which means I can go to sleep earlier. I do like to read for about 30 minutes or so before I go to bed, though last week I was reading for about an hour at night. It was good, but sometimes I did read too much which I shouldn’t do as you never know when B will wake up.


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Categories
Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Portrait Of A Mother Of A Three-Month-Old (15th September 2020)

Me leaning on a table
Portrait Of A Mother Of A Three-Month-Old (15th September 2020)
 
#WhoIsWorriedThatSheWillNotHaveTimeToWriteTheHashtagsBeforeHerBabyWakesUp
#ThatWouldHaveBeenTooLongOfATitle
#ICanNotBelieveSheIsThreeMonthsOldAndIStillCanNotBelieveThatIHaveABaby
#LastNightSheWentFor8HoursBetweenTwoFeeds
#SheDidWakeUpACoupleOfTimesButSheWentBackToSleep
#ThoughNowIAmWorriedAsSheHasSeemedQuiteSleepyToday
#TypicallyWhenSheDoesNotSleepIAmWorriedAndWhenSheDoesIAm
#SheWasStartingToGetCrankyDuringHerBabyMassageClassThisMorningWhichWasARecordingFromLastWeekAsItExpiresTomorrow
#AndWeMissedHerBabyYogaClassSoWeWillHaveToDoThatBeforeWeDoTheNextBabyMassageOne
#SheIsMeantToBeGoingThroughADevelopmentalLeapThoughWhichMightExplainTheTiredness
#YesterdayOurRoutineGotMuckedUpByTravellingAboutSoIThoughtItMightBeALongNight
#WeHadToStopAtAServiceStationForTheFirstTimeWithHer
#WeActuallyHadToStopTwiceAsTheFirstTimeIFedHerAndTheSecondTimeWeChangedHerNappyAsSheWasStillCrying
#WhenSheIsOvertiredItCanGoEitherWay
#ButIThinkHerBeingOvertiredIsTheMainReasonWhySheCries
#SheWasFineWhenIWasHoldingHerButThenSheWouldCryWhenIPutHerDownInHerCot
#NowThatWeSwaddleHerSheHasABitMoreOfANaptimeSlashBedtimeRoutine
#IUsuallyPickHerUpOnceSheIsSwaddledAndSingToHerForABitWhileRockingHer
#OurNewSongIs
#HeyBabyAreYouSleepy
#LetsGoToBedASAP
#ButASAPAsAyEssAyPee
#ISangToHerForAWhileButSheWasStillFussy
#AsSheSleepsInATravelCotThoughIRecentlyRealisedThatICanRockTheBassinetBitToRockHerToSleep
#IPlannedToDoThisShootLaterButIThoughtIMightAsWellTryToDoItNow
#SoTonightICanJustFocusOnCodingOnceIGetMeTime
#IFeelQuiteStressedOutRightNow
#IGuessIJustStartedANewCourseAndIHadNotDoneAShootInAFewDays
#IAlsoHaveNotBeenOnAWalkInACoupleOfDaysSoINeedToMakeSureThatIGoOutToday
#ItIsNiceLookingAfterHerButEveryDayIsTheSameKindOfCycle
 

Apologies for another picture of me in my underwear. I said that I would not change my clothes for shoots, and as the weather is warm whilst I write this (on the 15th September) I am just lounging around like this.

It is just easier for feeding, and as I haven’t been out yet today I haven’t had to put any other clothes on. I guess it is an accurate portrayal of having a summer baby in a warm flat…

(Since writing this the weather has turned and I’ve been enjoying lounging around in a long sleeved top and pyjama bottoms.)

#WhoIsWorriedThatSheWillNotHaveTimeToWriteTheHashtagsBeforeHerBabyWakesUp #ThatWouldHaveBeenTooLongOfATitle

After seeing how long this hashtag is, it definitely would have been too long for the official title. It is annoying when titles are too long for file names or title boxes.

#ICanNotBelieveSheIsThreeMonthsOldAndIStillCanNotBelieveThatIHaveABaby

Will it ever stop being weird? I don’t think so. How has it been 3 months already though?

(I was thinking this morning – 2nd October – that I haven’t said this in a while, but obviously I have. We generally have a few free hours these days between her going to bed and her dream feed, which is when I usually do my coding course. I am so caught up in my own stuff that I do sometimes temporarily forget that I have a kid. That sounds bad, but it is because I still find it weird that I grew a baby inside me.)

#LastNightSheWentFor8HoursBetweenTwoFeeds #SheDidWakeUpACoupleOfTimesButSheWentBackToSleep

I have been trying to go to bed earlier. We ended up getting home late, so I fed her and we all went to bed around 11pm-ish? She woke up at 4am and I gave her her dummy thinking that she would be crying again within 5 minutes. I lay down again and I can’t remember when she next woke up, but in the end I fed her around 7am.

When I say 8 hours between feeds I mean 8 hours from the start of her last one to the start of the next one.

I woke up around 6am and managed to do some yoga, before I woke her up to feed her. I want to start getting up at 7am every day to try to have some kind of a routine.

(2nd October – The last few nights she has gone the whole night without eating until 7am-ish. Last night she only woke up once, whereas the night before she woke up about 6 times, but I just tried to leave her for 5 minutes before intervening, and the night before that she woke up a lot and I usually just offered her the dummy straight away, which shouldn’t be my first response really. I’m learning…)

#ThoughNowIAmWorriedAsSheHasSeemedQuiteSleepyToday

She had a nap around 8.30am, and we both slept until 10.30am. I was supposed to wake her up to feed her around 10… I had to wake her up in the end as she had napped for 2 hours.

#TypicallyWhenSheDoesNotSleepIAmWorriedAndWhenSheDoesIAm

I will keep an eye on her.

(2nd October – Everything was fine; babies are supposed to sleep a lot. I was reading the other day that someone was struggling with their baby was not sleeping so well at night and someone recommended an earlier bed time. Apparently it made a big difference. Before we were aiming for a bedtime of 8pm, but now we try for 7pm-ish. )

#SheWasStartingToGetCrankyDuringHerBabyMassageClassThisMorningWhichWasARecordingFromLastWeekAsItExpiresTomorrow

She has her eyes closed whilst I feed her, so I need to work on keeping her more awake during feeds still. I thought she would not need a nap so soon, but she was getting cranky half way through the video so I thought I’d see if she wanted a nap.

#AndWeMissedHerBabyYogaClassSoWeWillHaveToDoThatBeforeWeDoTheNextBabyMassageOne

Fun fact.

#SheIsMeantToBeGoingThroughADevelopmentalLeapThoughWhichMightExplainTheTiredness

It also says to expect other things like clinginess, loss of appetite and other things. She seems to be feeding well at the moment, though I need to use nipple shields as one is quite painful and she only seems to like the other boob if it has a nipple shield on. I guess it is like sucking a dummy full of milk? The bad one just doesn’t seem to heal though.

(2nd October – I am just using nipple shields all the time now. I know you’re not supposed to, but sore nipples are horrible. I do occasionally go without to try to build up my resistance or something, but it just seems easier to use them. Okay, I’ve guilted myself into using them less.)

#YesterdayOurRoutineGotMuckedUpByTravellingAboutSoIThoughtItMightBeALongNight

It is nice to see people, but I do start to get into some kind of routine at home and it goes out of the window pretty quick.

#WeHadToStopAtAServiceStationForTheFirstTimeWithHer #WeActuallyHadToStopTwiceAsTheFirstTimeIFedHerAndTheSecondTimeWeChangedHerNappyAsSheWasStillCrying

We always try to go anywhere after she has been fed. Sometimes when she is overtired she will sleep after a feed, but not last night.

Before we left the first service station we checked her nappy and it seemed fine. However, as she was crying after we left we thought it might be her nappy so T changed it on the front passenger seat (on a changing mat) at the next service station.

She was still upset after we left there, but she calmed down a little after I played white noise on my phone and tried to sooth her more. I sensed that she might just want to be cuddled, but obviously we couldn’t do that in a moving car.

#WhenSheIsOvertiredItCanGoEitherWay

She can have a long sleep or just wake up loads. I get it though, sometimes the more tired I am the harder it is to sleep. Like when I barely slept for 2 weeks after she was born…

#ButIThinkHerBeingOvertiredIsTheMainReasonWhySheCries

Well she cries for other reasons, but it’s the hardest to fix. Feed? Easy (well, less so with bottles these days). Nappy change? No problem. Over tired? Oh no. I am trying to get better at realising she is tired though.

#SheWasFineWhenIWasHoldingHerButThenSheWouldCryWhenIPutHerDownInHerCot

I realised too late that she was tired.

#NowThatWeSwaddleHerSheHasABitMoreOfANaptimeSlashBedtimeRoutine

As we need to comfort her once she is in the swaddle.

#IUsuallyPickHerUpOnceSheIsSwaddledAndSingToHerForABitWhileRockingHer

It is usually turn on white noise > nappy change > swaddle > comfort > cot.

#OurNewSongIs #HeyBabyAreYouSleepy #LetsGoToBedASAP #ButASAPAsAyEssAyPee #ISangToHerForAWhileButSheWasStillFussy

Well, I made it up today. She did seem to calm down, but was fussy again in her cot.

#AsSheSleepsInATravelCotThoughIRecentlyRealisedThatICanRockTheBassinetBitToRockHerToSleep

I didn’t have to do it for long and she fell asleep. Win.

#IPlannedToDoThisShootLaterButIThoughtIMightAsWellTryToDoItNow #SoTonightICanJustFocusOnCodingOnceIGetMeTime

B was asleep and the food in the oven needed half an hour to cook. You never know when she will wake up, but I managed to do a shoot, hashtags and half off this blog post. I’m writing the rest while she feeds – this is probably why she falls asleep while eating.

So at least I won’t have all of this to worry about tonight. I just need to select the image to accompany all of this…

#IFeelQuiteStressedOutRightNow #IGuessIJustStartedANewCourseAndIHadNotDoneAShootInAFewDays

I do not really like the pictures in this project, but perhaps just doing something is better than nothing. That’s generally how it is with my work, but it would be nice if I really liked the pictures. I used to really like my pregnancy project, but looking at it yesterday maybe it isn’t even that good. I guess it is just a document of a time and that’s fine.

At least I slept well last night and had a good nap this morning.

#IAlsoHaveNotBeenOnAWalkInACoupleOfDaysSoINeedToMakeSureThatIGoOutToday

Like I said when we visit people the routine goes out of the window. I prefer to take her out in her pushchair now, but it does not fit in the car along with everything else. This will be corrected today. I started to listen to Carrie Fisher’s biography as an audiobook whilst on walks. I love the speed up setting – particularly with my library app as you can set it to whatever speed you like. Sometimes 1.25x is too slow and 1.5x is too fast.

#ItIsNiceLookingAfterHerButEveryDayIsTheSameKindOfCycle

Wake up, feed, change, play, nap and repeat all day. I shouldn’t complain as it is rewarding, but my very first self-portraiture project was about the cycle of life. Sometimes I do find the monotonous of existing a bit dull, particularly during a pandemic. Rules are changing again, so we won’t be able to visit my Nan at home for now. Hopefully it changes again soon but who knows. We nearly didn’t make the visit, so it was lucky that we got to see her at home when we did.

(2nd October – Well, Liverpool has more lockdown rules now. So for now we can’t see anyone in their homes or gardens, and yesterday they announced a new rule of not mixing in pubs and restaurants – before it was just advised against.)

(I felt much better after finishing this post as I had been productive. B and I had a playtime full of smiles, and I got out for a walk. Win.)


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