Categories
Pregnancy Waiting II

Portrait Of A Mother Of A Nineteen Month Old (37 Weeks / 14th January 2022)

Self-portrait where I am sitting down in a black bra and pants. I have my hands on my hand and my elbows are touching. My bump looks very round.
Portrait Of A Mother Of A Nineteen Month Old (37 Weeks / 14th January 2022)
 
#WellTheNightBeforeMyScanBWasAwakeFromOneToFive
#IHadFallenAsleepAroundElevenThirtySoItWasALongNight
#TiagoHadStayedUpLateWorkingAndHadANapDownstairsBeforeLeavingAtFourThirty
#JustBeforeTiagoLeftIMovedBToOurBedAndSheSeemedToFallAsleepButThenWouldSuddenlyWakeUpCrying
#SoAtFiveIMovedHerBackToHerBedAndSheSleptUntilEightWhenIWokeHerUp
#LuckilyMyMumWasComingRoundSoIHadALieDownInTheMorningThenSleptForAnHourWhenBDid
#IWasStressedAsIfIHadGoneIntoLabourIWouldHaveNotHadMuchEnergy
#TiagoWasSetToGetBackInTimeForTheAppointmentButThenThereWasACrashOnTheMotorway
#LuckilyMyMumHadHungAroundSoSheDroppedMeOffAndTookBToTheSupermarketWhileIWasInThere
#IWasWearingAWhiteClothMaskAndThePeopleAtTheDoorAskedMeToPutAStandardBlueMaskOn
#ICouldNotSeeAnyoneAtReceptionSoIWentToWhereIThoughtTheAppointmentWasAndPanickedThatIHadGoneToTheWrongPlaceWhenTheySaidIDidNotHaveOneThere
#LuckilyIJustHadToGoToADifferentDepartmentAndSatAloneInARoomFullOfCouples
#TheySaidTheyWereRunningLateButIGotCalledInAboutFourMinutesAfterMyAppointmentTime
#TheSonographerWasNiceAndAfterAQuickLookSheSaidThatBabyXWasHeadDownAndNotBackToBack
#IHadFeltLikeTheyHadBeenQuiteActiveSinceMyMidwifeAppointmentSoMaybeTheyDidTurnOrMaybeTheyWereNeverBreech
#AlreadyTheBabyHasBeenVeryActiveThatIAmWorriedThatTheyMayBeBackToBackOrSomething
#ThenSheDidMeasurementsAndSaidThatTheBabyIsEstimatedToBeIThinkSheSaid7Pounds6
#BWas6Pounds4WhenSheWasBornAndTheBabyHadBeenMeasuringBigger
#ShePlottedItOnMyGrowthChartAndSaidThatYouHaveToIgnoreTheTapeMeasureEstimatesButItLooksLikeTheBabyIsGrowing
#IHaveAnotherScanScheduledForTwoWeeksTimeIfTheBabyHasNotBeenBornYetSoSheWasObviouslyNotTooConcerned
#AsIHaveBeenSoScepticalAboutWhetherOrNotIAmActuallyHavingAGirlIAskedIfSheCouldCheck
#SheSaidItLooksLikeAGirlToHerButCanNotSayFor100PercentSureIGuessAsTheyHaveToCoverTheirBacks
#IThinkAtThisPointItWouldBeQuiteObviousIfItWasABoySoIShouldStopCallingHerIt
#WaitingForMyMumOutsideItWasABitSurrealWatchingLotsOfDadsArrivingWithCarSeatsOrCouplesLeavingTheHospitalWithBabies
#IKnowIAmHavingABabySoonButIStillFindItHardToGetMyHeadAroundIt
#IAmGettingALotMoreCrampsTheseDaysAndTheBabyCouldBeHereAnyDayNowReally
#INeedToJustGetAsMuchRestAsICanToMakeSureIFeelGoodForLabour
#ButIAlsoJustWantToDoAsMuchAsICanBeforeTheBabyComesAsIKnowThereWillBeLessTimeForMeForAWhile
#BIsGettingMoreIndependentNowSoItWillBeWeirdHavingASmallHumanWhoIsSoDependentOnMeAgain
#LikeIKeepSayingIJustNeedToSurrenderMyselfToMotherhoodAndDoMyBestForMyKids

#WellTheNightBeforeMyScanBWasAwakeFromOneToFive #IHadFallenAsleepAroundElevenThirtySoItWasALongNight

I definitely got frustrated, but had started reading a parenting book while waiting to see if she had fallen asleep, so tried to remain calm.

#TiagoHadStayedUpLateWorkingAndHadANapDownstairsBeforeLeavingAtFourThirty

I had stayed up late waiting for him, though I had said he should sleep downstairs if he wanted. I turned the light off and tried to sleep, but then he came upstairs to sort his clothes out.

#JustBeforeTiagoLeftIMovedBToOurBedAndSheSeemedToFallAsleepButThenWouldSuddenlyWakeUpCrying

I’d given her paracetamol, water, changed her nappy etc. I’m still not sure what the problem was.

I drifted in and out of sleep, while giving her some mimos (Portuguese for affection) – like rubbing her arm and drawing circles in her hand. I’d stop and she’d cry.

#SoAtFiveIMovedHerBackToHerBedAndSheSleptUntilEightWhenIWokeHerUp

I had had an alarm set for 7, which I turned off and woke up at 7.40.

#LuckilyMyMumWasComingRoundSoIHadALieDownInTheMorningThenSleptForAnHourWhenBDid

Tiago told me later he texted my Mum at 4 in the morning to say I hadn’t slept much and to tell me to have a lie down in case I didn’t ask. I tried to sleep, but found it hard. B looked tired all morning and I had to wake her up from her nap.

#IWasStressedAsIfIHadGoneIntoLabourIWouldHaveNotHadMuchEnergy

I guess my body would have woken me up more, but I want to be as rested as possible for the ‘event’.

#TiagoWasSetToGetBackInTimeForTheAppointmentButThenThereWasACrashOnTheMotorway

Typical.

#LuckilyMyMumHadHungAroundSoSheDroppedMeOffAndTookBToTheSupermarketWhileIWasInThere

I was surprised that she was hanging around, but it made for sense for her to do that then go home and potentially come back. She was getting ready to leave, but I said could she hang on for another half an hour just in case as by that point she would have had to turn around by the time she got home. Luckily she did. The roads were quite icy too and as he hadn’t slept much I didn’t want him to be rushing home.

#IWasWearingAWhiteClothMaskAndThePeopleAtTheDoorAskedMeToPutAStandardBlueMaskOn

Fair enough.

#ICouldNotSeeAnyoneAtReceptionSoIWentToWhereIThoughtTheAppointmentWasAndPanickedThatIHadGoneToTheWrongPlaceWhenTheySaidIDidNotHaveOneThere

The midwife did not tell me where it was, but she had given me a phone number so I searched online and saw it was at a hospital.

#LuckilyIJustHadToGoToADifferentDepartmentAndSatAloneInARoomFullOfCouples

Phew. I read an article about The Lost Girls of Covid.

#TheySaidTheyWereRunningLateButIGotCalledInAboutFourMinutesAfterMyAppointmentTime

So not late at all really.

#TheSonographerWasNiceAndAfterAQuickLookSheSaidThatBabyXWasHeadDownAndNotBackToBack

I was a bit too annoyingly chatty I think. I don’t get out much…

#IHadFeltLikeTheyHadBeenQuiteActiveSinceMyMidwifeAppointmentSoMaybeTheyDidTurnOrMaybeTheyWereNeverBreech

The sonographer commented on how active this baby is.

#AlreadyTheBabyHasBeenVeryActiveThatIAmWorriedThatTheyMayBeBackToBackOrSomething

We’ll just have to wait and see. The sonographer said as I’ve had a breech baby before I probably won’t need to argue my case so much, and that if I’ve had a breech baby before then I can handle a back to back baby. I just need to stay calm.

#ThenSheDidMeasurementsAndSaidThatTheBabyIsEstimatedToBeIThinkSheSaid7Pounds6 #BWas6Pounds4WhenSheWasBornAndTheBabyHadBeenMeasuringBigger

B was born before 38 weeks.

#ShePlottedItOnMyGrowthChartAndSaidThatYouHaveToIgnoreTheTapeMeasureEstimatesButItLooksLikeTheBabyIsGrowing

Hurrah. I wasn’t too worried as a lot of friends have told me they had growth scans and everything looked fine.

#IHaveAnotherScanScheduledForTwoWeeksTimeIfTheBabyHasNotBeenBornYetSoSheWasObviouslyNotTooConcerned

Yeah, it’s not like she was like I think this baby should come out ASAP. Cool.

#AsIHaveBeenSoScepticalAboutWhetherOrNotIAmActuallyHavingAGirlIAskedIfSheCouldCheck

She did the usual ‘it’s not always guaranteed that we can see’ etc and I said I know, but if you can then that’d be nice.

#SheSaidItLooksLikeAGirlToHerButCanNotSayFor100PercentSureIGuessAsTheyHaveToCoverTheirBacks #IThinkAtThisPointItWouldBeQuiteObviousIfItWasABoySoIShouldStopCallingHerIt

She did say it’s a girl while pointing her mouse to and naming the labia, so yeah I doubt it is a boy.

#WaitingForMyMumOutsideItWasABitSurrealWatchingLotsOfDadsArrivingWithCarSeatsOrCouplesLeavingTheHospitalWithBabies

It could be us any day now.

#IKnowIAmHavingABabySoonButIStillFindItHardToGetMyHeadAroundIt

It’s just weird. I’ve obviously gone through all of this once before, but still I find it bizarre.

#IAmGettingALotMoreCrampsTheseDaysAndTheBabyCouldBeHereAnyDayNowReally

B’s arrival really surprised me (in terms of I hadn’t noticed any warning signs), so I just read into anything and everything now.

#INeedToJustGetAsMuchRestAsICanToMakeSureIFeelGoodForLabour

I’m going to have a lie down before I do the shoot.

#ButIAlsoJustWantToDoAsMuchAsICanBeforeTheBabyComesAsIKnowThereWillBeLessTimeForMeForAWhile

I want to take more pictures in the style of my Máscara project.

#BIsGettingMoreIndependentNowSoItWillBeWeirdHavingASmallHumanWhoIsSoDependentOnMeAgain

I was saying to Tiago that maybe I am just saying this as I am pregnant, but if I was not pregnant would I want to be trying to get pregnant now with B being more independent? I got pregnant while she was still pretty dependent. I guess I would. I just want to get the baby phase over and done with.

#LikeIKeepSayingIJustNeedToSurrenderMyselfToMotherhoodAndDoMyBestForMyKids

B going to nursery is definitely going to make a big difference, and I’m lucky that we are in the position to send her.

37 weeks pregnant with B comparison:

(This is actually the last photo that I took of myself pregnant for the project.)

Full-length self-portrait. I am slightly silhouetted against white blinds. My right arm is raised above my head and my right hand is behind my head.
Time Is Running Out (37 and a half weeks)
 
#IWasDoingMyMorningExerciseWhenICaughtMyReflectionInTheKitchenSplashBackWall
#IThoughtItWouldBeNiceToDoAMoreSilhouettedPhotoOfMyselfAndBumpAgainstTheBlinds
#SoThatIsWhatIDidThisEvening
#YesterdayEveningWeWentForAWalk
#IDidNotHaveAnyPainsOrDiscomfortAndIFeltLikeICouldWalkFasterThanNormal
#IJustDidTheWashingUpNowAndIGotSomeExtremeCrampsInTheTopOfMyLeftLeg
#AndNowTheBabyHasHiccupsWhichAlwaysMakesMeFeelUncomfortable
#TheyDoNotHurtButIJustDoNotLikeTheFeelingOfThem
#EspeciallyAsTheBabyIsHeadDownSoItJustFeelsWeird
#ItWouldNotBeSoBadIfTheyWereAtTheTopOfTheBump
#AFewDaysAgoIDecidedThatIWouldLikeToTakeSomePicturesInTheStyleOfMyMáscaraProject
#IThoughtIHadTheMakeupHereButApparentlyIDoNot
#MyMumFoundMyBagOfItAsWeHaveStillHaveSomeStuffAtFamilyHousesAndPutItInThePostToday
#SoHopefullyIGetItInTheNextCoupleOfDays
#AsTimeIsRunningOut
#MyHospitalPantsTurnedUpToday
#TheySaidTheyHadBeenDeliveredYesterdaySoIWasABitConcernedAsTheyWereNotHere
#AtTimesIKindOfForgetAboutThePandemic
#AndThenIRememberWhatIsGoingOn
#ItIsAllABitWeird
#IFeelLikeWeHaveAdaptedWellButIKnowWeArePrivileged
#ALotOfPeopleSeemToBeGoingBackToNormal
#ButIAmScared
#MeAndTiagoHaveALittleBitOfACold
#ButTheWeatherKeepsChangingAndIWasIllQuiteALotAtTheStartOfThePregnancy
#IHaveNotReallyBeenIllAtAllSinceLockdown
#SoIThinkItIsJustUsFeelingALittleRundown
#LastNightISleptThroughUntil5AMWhichHasNotHappenedInALongTime
#MaybeDoingALotOfKegelsYesterdayHelped
#AsWellAsHavingAGoodStretchingSessionAndNotSleepingMuchTheNightBefore

I would have liked to have remade this photo, but this was when we lived in Liverpool, and we now live in Birmingham.

Maybe there were warning signs – like cramps in the top of my left leg. When I was having surges with B my legs would cramp up.

Last night the baby had hiccups and I was trying to work out if they were head down or not.

My sent my makeup to make Máscara like images. They arrived the day before B was born and luckily it was my day off and I took photos. I only liked a couple of images. I did a shoot the other day and they seem a lot better.

Last night we went to bed at 9. T fell asleep straight away, whereas I probably fell asleep half an hour later. I woke up quite a lot of times, but eventually got up at 6.30 as B was awake.


Thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying my blog (and/or the work I make) please consider supporting me by ‘buying me a coffee’ on Ko-fi – thanks!

Categories
Pregnancy Waiting II

Portrait Of A Mother Of An Eighteen Month Old (33 Weeks / 15th December 2021)

Self-portrait where I am kneeling on the bed. I am looking off to the left of the frame. I am dressed all in black and have my hands on my knees.
Portrait Of A Mother Of An Eighteen Month Old (33 Weeks / 15th December 2021)
 
#ICanNotBelieveThatBIsAYearAndAHalf
#ThoughInSomeWaysIFeelLikeSheIsOlderAndIAtTimesStillFindItOddThatIHaveAChild
#WellICouldSoonBeAMotherOfTwoAndMyNanPointsOutAtLeastOnceADayHowBigMyBumpIsGetting
#SometimesIWorryThatIAmATerribleMotherButThenTheNewsLatelyRemindsMeThatIReallyAmNot
#IHadToLeaveTheRoomWhenTheNewsWasOnEarlierTalkingAboutTheMurderOfASixteenMonthOldGirl
#IHadACryAndIWasTheSameWithTheNewsOfTheMurderOfASixYearOldBoy
#MakingBLaughIsTheBestFeelingInTheWorldAndHearingHerLaughIsTheBestSound
#SheLikesToHaveARunAroundBeforeBedtimeNowWithUsChasingHer
#AtThePlaygroundTodayWeWerePlayingPeekabooLotsAndSheLovedIt
#IHaveDiscoveredThatICanPutHerPushchairHandlebarsLowEnoughForHerToBeAbleToPushItNowThoughIDoHaveToSteerIt
#TodaySheStartedToStandUpOnTheStepOnTheBackOfHerPushchairAndLaterOnSatDownOnItFacingMeForTheFirstTime
#SheIsDefinitelyShowingOffHerPersonalityMoreWhichIsReallyCool
#ThoughSheDoesLikeToDropToHerKneesAndCryWhenTiagoGoesToLeaveARoom
#SheHasAlsoJustStartedToWalkIntoARoomWhereHeIsAndDropToHerKneesDramatically
#WhenHeGoesToPutHerDownSheWillOftenLiftHerLegsUpAndHoverAboveTheFloor
#SheLikesToSitInHisOfficeChairNowAndDrawOnHisNotepadWithHisPens
#IGotHerSomeColouringPencilsButSheDoesNotSeemToLikeThemSoIGotSomeWashableFeltTipsThatWeAreYetToTryOut
#IFinishedHerBabyBookAndAmDebatingJustBuyingTheSameOneForBabyXButMaybeDoingItADifferentWayThisTime
#IWouldFeelBadIfIDidNotDoSomethingAndAmWorryItMightNotBeAsGoodSoItWasProbablyBestToDoSomethingSimilar
#IFinallyTookBBackToTheSoftPlayPlaceThatWeWentToInMay
#WeMetUpWithAPregnantLadyAndHerDaughterWhoIMetOnAMumApp
#WeBookedInForTheFirstSessionOfTheDayAndItWasGreatAsItWasSoQuiet
#IFeltComfortableKnowingThatItWasProbablyTheCleanestItWouldBeAllDayToo
#EveryoneWasWearingMasksThisTimeApartFromOneGuyWhoMayHaveBeenExempt
#BKeptWantingToGoOnTheSlideSoIHadToGoOnItTooAndItWasGoodFun
#ItStillIsNotSomewhereThatIWouldWantToGoWithJustBThoughAsIThinkItIsQuiteBoringIfNoOneTalksToYou
#CovidCasesAreRisingAndIAmGettingABitWorriedNowAsIDoNotWantToBeCovidPositiveWhenTheBabyComes
#IDoKnowWhatBirthingProtocolIsForAPositivePersonButAlsoItWillComplicateChildcareIssuesWithB
#TiagoIsDueToGetHisBoosterThisWeekendWhichIsGoodAsHeHadHisSecondVaccineInAprilSoHisProtectionIsProbablyRunningLow
#MineIsBookedForNextWeekForWhenItWillHaveBeen3MonthsSinceMyLastDoseWhichIsGoodAsICanDefinitelyFeelThatMyLungCapacityIsReducedDueToABabySquashingAllMyOrgans

#ICanNotBelieveThatBIsAYearAndAHalf

Happy year and half B – though you’ll be a lot older by the time I post this.

#ThoughInSomeWaysIFeelLikeSheIsOlderAndIAtTimesStillFindItOddThatIHaveAChild

I’m terrible at aging young kids as I did not have much experience with them prior to having one, but at times she does seem older. Also, it feels like she’s been in my life for a lot longer than she has – I guess if you add on the 9ish months of pregnancy, then that would seem a bit more accurate.

I do still often look at her and think ‘whoa, I have a kid’.

#WellICouldSoonBeAMotherOfTwoAndMyNanPointsOutAtLeastOnceADayHowBigMyBumpIsGetting

It’s just weird. My Nan pointed out my bump today just after I’d had lunch, and then after dinner.

#SometimesIWorryThatIAmATerribleMotherButThenTheNewsLatelyRemindsMeThatIReallyAmNot

I feel bad when I am tired and just leave her to amuse herself for a bit, but it is good for her.

#IHadToLeaveTheRoomWhenTheNewsWasOnEarlierTalkingAboutTheMurderOfASixteenMonthOldGirl

I couldn’t see her face. She was only two months younger than B. I don’t get how people can be so cruel…

#IHadACryAndIWasTheSameWithTheNewsOfTheMurderOfASixYearOldBoy

I feel like I saw his lovely face every day, and it’s so heartbreaking. Especially as his family was fighting so much to protect him and look after him. I’d just turn the TV off, but my Nan is usually watching it.

These are just two cases of many.

It reminds me of a Sandra Bullock interview that I saw the other day, where she talks about how a lot of kids don’t have anyone to love them, and it’s so sad.

#MakingBLaughIsTheBestFeelingInTheWorldAndHearingHerLaughIsTheBestSound

I don’t get how people can enjoy making their kids cry or hurt them.

#SheLikesToHaveARunAroundBeforeBedtimeNowWithUsChasingHer

I’m usually tutting and saying ‘it’s bedtime soon, yeah’, but it’s also good for her to get all the energy out before going to bed. She suddenly seems to wake up.

#AtThePlaygroundTodayWeWerePlayingPeekabooLotsAndSheLovedIt

I was hiding behind various things, and she was hiding behind other things. Great fun.

#IHaveDiscoveredThatICanPutHerPushchairHandlebarsLowEnoughForHerToBeAbleToPushItNowThoughIDoHaveToSteerIt

This is a great discovery as she likes to be picked up to push the bar, but I have not been able to do it for a while as it is too difficult for me, and Tiago held her to do it for so long the other day that his back hurt.

#TodaySheStartedToStandUpOnTheStepOnTheBackOfHerPushchairAndLaterOnSatDownOnItFacingMeForTheFirstTime

Also great, as it keeps her happy, though it will be better when she is slightly taller as when she stands up the button that you push to move the handlebars up and down is at her eye height at the moment.

#SheIsDefinitelyShowingOffHerPersonalityMoreWhichIsReallyCool

She’s picked up another cold from nursery, but she still likes to have fun. I think she is also teething.

#ThoughSheDoesLikeToDropToHerKneesAndCryWhenTiagoGoesToLeaveARoom

I think he is nervous that he might have two kids that are a bit obsessed with him.

#SheHasAlsoJustStartedToWalkIntoARoomWhereHeIsAndDropToHerKneesDramatically

The first time she did it he thought she had fallen, but I saw her purposefully do it. He won’t pick her up until she stands up though which is good.

#WhenHeGoesToPutHerDownSheWillOftenLiftHerLegsUpAndHoverAboveTheFloor

This makes me laugh.

#SheLikesToSitInHisOfficeChairNowAndDrawOnHisNotepadWithHisPens

She can climb up on it by herself, which I am quite impressed by.

#IGotHerSomeColouringPencilsButSheDoesNotSeemToLikeThemSoIGotSomeWashableFeltTipsThatWeAreYetToTryOut

The pencils are a bit weak compared to T’s pen, but it’s not the safest option for her. The pens arrived today, so we’ll try them out soon.

#IFinishedHerBabyBookAndAmDebatingJustBuyingTheSameOneForBabyXButMaybeDoingItADifferentWayThisTime

We got an instax printer and printed phone pictures out, but I do not like how they look at all – and it was way more expensive than just getting them printed at the supermarket or via a printing site.

#IWouldFeelBadIfIDidNotDoSomethingAndAmWorryItMightNotBeAsGoodSoItWasProbablyBestToDoSomethingSimilar

Tiago just had a look through the whole book, and I feel good that I made the effort to do it now. It’s also weird seeing her so small. I need to start making a family album too.

#IFinallyTookBBackToTheSoftPlayPlaceThatWeWentToInMay

We’d only been to soft play once since then, and that was at a different place.

#WeMetUpWithAPregnantLadyAndHerDaughterWhoIMetOnAMumApp

We have met up with them once before, but it rained the whole time and it was too stressful trying to keep B entertained outside of a coffee shop.

#WeBookedInForTheFirstSessionOfTheDayAndItWasGreatAsItWasSoQuiet

Amazing. It is a better place to the other one that I took B too, but it feels more claustrophobic / less airy.

#IFeltComfortableKnowingThatItWasProbablyTheCleanestItWouldBeAllDayToo

As I imagine that they do a good clean once everyone leaves, and we saw them cleaning while we were there too.

#EveryoneWasWearingMasksThisTimeApartFromOneGuyWhoMayHaveBeenExempt

Last time people slowly took their masks off, which annoyed me.

#BKeptWantingToGoOnTheSlideSoIHadToGoOnItTooAndItWasGoodFun

I wanted to send her on by herself, but I was worried that she would fall down weirdly. I would help her go down by herself, then follow her very slowly.

#ItStillIsNotSomewhereThatIWouldWantToGoWithJustBThoughAsIThinkItIsQuiteBoringIfNoOneTalksToYou

I need adult conversation. If it was a bit nearer and Covid wasn’t on the rise, then I guess I would be a bit more enthusiastic. By the time I had walked there and home again I was aching.

#CovidCasesAreRisingAndIAmGettingABitWorriedNowAsIDoNotWantToBeCovidPositiveWhenTheBabyComes

I’ve said this before, but yeah I am worried.

#IDoKnowWhatBirthingProtocolIsForAPositivePersonButAlsoItWillComplicateChildcareIssuesWithB

Tiago would probably have to stay home with B – this also goes for if my parents get Covid. I need to just relax though and try not to stress.

#TiagoIsDueToGetHisBoosterThisWeekendWhichIsGoodAsHeHadHisSecondVaccineInAprilSoHisProtectionIsProbablyRunningLow

I’ll feel better when he gets it. Luckily I ordered some flow tests last week, as there is a shortage. His is booked for Saturday evening, so he has Sunday to recover if need be.

#MineIsBookedForNextWeekForWhenItWillHaveBeen3MonthsSinceMyLastDoseWhichIsGoodAsICanDefinitelyFeelThatMyLungCapacityIsReducedDueToABabySquashingAllMyOrgans

I’m booked in at a medical centre, which is quite far from where we live but my Doctors messaged today to say they will be sending out booking info for there from tomorrow, so I might try to change it as it would be way more convenient to just be able to walk to my appointment. Everything does feel way more squished…

33 weeks pregnant with B comparison:

Self-portrait where I am hiding behind a piece of black fabric, but an arm, a leg and my bump are visible.
Things Seem A Bit More Real After My Midwife Appointment Today (33 weeks)
 
#WellTheBigNewsIsThatHomeBirthsHaveBeenUnsuspended
#ThoughMyMidwifeSaidThatThingsMightChangeAgain
#IDoNotKnowHowTheUKWillBeWhenIGiveBirth
#ButIFeelABitMoreRelaxedNow
#KnowingThatWeCanTakeOurTimeAndTiagoCanBeAroundTheWholeTime
#IfIHadToGiveBirthWithoutHimIAmSureICouldDoIt
#ButItIsMoreThatTheIsHeAllowedIsHeNotWhereIsHeThoughtsWillBeLessPresentIfIHaveAHomeBirth
#ObviouslyThereAreRisksAndIMightHaveToGoToHospitalAnywaysButIfWeCanStayInOurFlatThenItIsNice
#ThoughIStillWorryAboutWhatTheNeighboursWillThink
#ThingsFeelABitMoreRealNowAfterMyLatestAppointment
#WeHaveAListOfThingsThatWeNeedToGet
#AndSheTalkedALotAboutTheSnacksAndDrinksThatMightBeGoodToHelpMe
#IAmExcitedAboutSnacksThoughSheSaidThatAfterAWhileIWillNotWantToEat
#SheAskedMeIfIAmGoingToSetMyCameraUp
#IAmGladSheAskedAsIHopeToButIDoNotWantItToBeTooMuchOfADistraction
#ShameThereIsNotAnotherMeToDocumentIt
#IImagineThatIWillNotGetThePhotosIWantSoIDoNotWantToStressAboutIt
#MaybeINeedToTeachTiagoSomeSkillsButAtTheSameTimeIWantHimToJustBeWithMe
#ItIsFunnyAsTheMidwifeHasBeenTheOnlyPersonIHaveHadSuperCloseContactWithSinceLockdownBesidesTiago
#SheIsSendingSomeoneElseForMyNextAppointmentJustSoIHaveMetAnotherMidwifeAsSheMayNotBeAtTheBirth
#SheHadAGoodFeelOfTheBump
#ItIsCurrentlyHeadDownWithItsBackToMyBelly
#AgainSheSaidMyCoreIsStrong
#ButSheDidNotCommentOnMyMuscleSeparationSoItCanNotBeThatBad
#IGotUpEarlyToExerciseAndEatAndDrinkPlentyAndMyBloodCameOutFineForTheTest
#TiagoJustGotBackFromTheSupermarket
#ItIsABitSadHowMuchIMissGoingToBuyFood
#CravingsAreTotallyPointlessTheseDays
#IHaveFoundMyselfWastingAGoodHalfAnHourLookingAtFoodOnTakeawaySites
#IDoGetABitExcitedSeeingWhatTiagoPullsFromTheShoppingBagsThough
#TodayHeHadAReducedCheesecakeAndGotMeMyFavouriteChocolateOatMilk

Well, it’s good to know that at the same point of pregnancy things were a bit unclear. It was definitely more unclear then though – there were no vaccines.

As I have said many times before, I ended up not having a home birth so most of this was irrelevant, and he was there for the birth once I was allowed into a delivery suite – however, he was not able to visit B and I for the 4 days that we were there. I do wonder how it will be this time.

‘#IAmExcitedAboutSnacksThoughSheSaidThatAfterAWhileIWillNotWantToEat’

We got way too many snacks, but they came in handy during my long stay in the hospital. I did struggle to eat my hospital lunch when I was in the early stage of labour…

‘#SheAskedMeIfIAmGoingToSetMyCameraUp’

There are no pictures of me giving birth, which I am sad about, so I would like it to be different this time, but I also do not want to get distracted/I feel a bit awkward about it as I (imagine I) will be in hospital. I need to start thinking about this.

‘#IHaveFoundMyselfWastingAGoodHalfAnHourLookingAtFoodOnTakeawaySites’

These were sad times. I used to do it a lot…

Self-portrait from my neck to just below my waist. I am wearing a bra and my bump is on display. T is next to my bump, with a beard. It is a remake of an image that I took at 22 and a half weeks - he didn't have a beard then.
The Bump & The Beard (33 weeks)
 
#ItIsFunnyHowDifferentTiagoLooksToTheOriginalThatWeTookAt22AndAHalfWeeks
#IHaveNeverSeenHimWithThisMuchFacialHairBefore
#HeSaysHeHasNeverHadThisMuchFacialHairBefore
#HeMightGetRidOfItSoon
#ItIsFunnySeeingHowMuchBiggerMyBumpIsToo
#YesterdayWeWalkedADifferentWayAsOurWalksHaveBeenGettingShorter
#WalkingDownTheSameRoadAllTheTimeIsSoDemotivating
#WeWalkedInTheDirectionThatIsMorePopular
#TiagoIsTheOneWhoGoesOutAndDoesFoodShoppingSoHeIsUsedToBeingAroundAndSeeingMorePeople
#WhereasIHaveBecomeABitScaredOfPeople
#SoItWasGoodToSeeMorePeopleAndEnjoyALongerWalkAndChangeOfScenery
#SomePeopleStillWalkABitTooCloseForMyLiking
#ItIsQuiteObviousThatIAmPregnantNowIfYouAreWalkingTowardsMe
#MaybeTheyThinkThatBecauseIAmPregnantThatIAmNotLikelyToHaveCovidAndGiveItToThem
#ButIDoNotKnowIfTheyHaveItOrNotSoIWouldPreferIfTheyKeptTheirDistance
#ItIsWeirdImaginingAWorldPostAllOfThis
#MaybeItWillFeelEasyButIThinkRealisticallyIWillBeEmergingFromThisWithABaby
#AndSoTheOutsideWorldWillBeADifferentExperienceForMeAnyways
#ItIsGoingToBeOddNotHavingTiagoAroundAllTheTime
#IHaveBeenSpoiltAsHeHasBeenMaking99PercentOfTheMeals
#ITendToJustMakeCheeseAndPickleSandwiches
#ItWillBeWeirdHavingLunchByMyself
#WellIKeepThinkingAndSayingByMyselfButIWillHaveTheBabyAround
#IPictureMyselfWithTheBabyButItStillFeelsSoFarAway
#ThoughTimeIsMovingQuick
#INeedToStartPreparingMoreAgain
#IWasDoingWellAndThenTheNCTCourseKnackeredMeOut
#SoINeedToGetBackIntoReadingMoreThingsAndBuyingTheLastBitsAndBobs
#IAskedTiagoIfHeWantedToSayAnything
#HeJustSaidThatHeIsKeenToMeetTheBaby

This is a remake of I Have Told Him Before That If He Wants To Touch The Bump Then He Has To Make Sure His Hands Are Warm (22 and a half weeks).

At some point after moving he decided to keep a beard, though he keeps it quite short and neat.

This time I do manage to do a good walk as I have the pushchair to push which definitely helps me move, but I do need to be careful as I get quite achy.

‘#MaybeItWillFeelEasyButIThinkRealisticallyIWillBeEmergingFromThisWithABaby’

It’s weird that I will be emerging from this with two kids – if we ever emerge.

‘#ItIsGoingToBeOddNotHavingTiagoAroundAllTheTime’

He’s still around 99% of the time, and now the Government have said to work from home if you can, so hopefully it stays like that for a while so he won’t be out (which he rarely is) when I go into labour.

I need to read my hypnobirthing book again.


Thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying my blog (and/or the work I make) please consider supporting me by ‘buying me a coffee’ on Ko-fi – thanks!

Categories
Pregnancy Waiting II

Portrait of A Mother Of A Seventeen Month Old (28 Weeks / 14th November 2021)

Self-portrait lying on the bed in a bra and leggings. I am cradling my bump with my right hand and have my left hand resting on my face. I am leaning on and against a maternity pillow.
Portrait Of A Mother Of A Seventeen Month Old (28 Weeks / 14th November 2021)
 
#IKnowIHaveTakenALotOfPicturesOfMyselfLookingTiredInThePastForThisProjectWithinAProject
#ButThisTimeIReallyAmTiredAndBeforeIDoNotThinkIKnewWhatTheMeaningOfTiredWas
#OrMaybeIWasTiredThenButIFeelExhaustedNowAndProbablyShouldBeSavingMyEnergyAndNotTryingToDoABitOfWork
#IWentToBedFourNightsAgoFeelingLikeIWasMaybeGoingToBeSickButThoughtItWouldPass
#IBarelySleptAndGotUpToGoToTheBathroomAroundOneThirtyInTheMorningAndKeptBeingSickThenFinallyStoppedButWasSickAgainAfterASitDown
#BActuallySleptUntilSixForOnceAndIWasSickWhenIGotUpThenButFeltFineEnoughToDoMyMorningExerciseButThenICrashed
#IWentBackToBedAndTWatchedBThenIWatchedBForAnHourThenMyMumCameAndWatchedBUntilLunch
#ThenIGotUpToGiveHerLunchAndSheHadFallenAsleepOnMyMumSoTiagoWatchedHerDuringHisLunchThenSheNappedAndINapped
#IWasSurprisedThatBSleptForTwoHoursButIGotHerUpAndPutHerInOurBedButThenISuddenlyFeltSick
#SoIManagedToPutHerOnTheFloorAndRunToTheBathroomWhereIWasSickAndIMeanSickkk
#IThinkItIsExhaustionAndTheSicknessIsASideEffectOfItThoughIHaveNotBeenSickSinceButHaveFeltLikeIWillBeAtTimes
#BeforeBWasBornIDidUsedToSpendAWeekendInBedAtLeastOnceAYearButObviouslyItIsHardToDoThatNow
#TypicallyItHappenedAfterBStartedNurseryButIGuessMyBodyKnewICouldBeIllSoItWaitedUntilThenAndIHaveNotReallyBeenIllSinceBWasBorn
#BHasBeenABitUpAndDownAsWellButMaybeItIsDueToStartingNurseryAndHavingALeapAndTeethingAndBeingFrustratedAtNotBeingAbleToTalk
#WeGaveHerLunchYesterdayAndSheJustPushedItAllToTheFloorSoICriedAsIWasSoTired
#WeThoughtItWasBecauseSheWasOvertiredSoWeJustPutHerDownForHerNapAndSheWokeUpAfter40Minutes
#TiagoNeededARestAndIFeltTooTiredToLookAfterHerSoIGotIntoHerCotAndRubbedHerBackUntilSheFellBackToSleep
#IManagedToGetOutOfHerCotAndOutOfTheRoomWithoutHerWakingUpAndSheSleptForNearlyTwoMoreHours
#IDoWorryHowIAmGoingToCopeWithTwoKidsButIAmHopingThatIWillSomehowFeelLessTiredWhenTheBabyIsOutAndNotTakingAllMyNutrientsButIDoubtIt
#IHaveBarelyHadAnAppetiteButIHaveBeenMakingMyselfEatForTheBabysSake
#IDidHaveMy28WeeksMidwifeAppointmentThoughAndSheSaidEverythingSeemedFineButThatIShouldDrinkMore
#IDidNotRealiseThatIWasGoingToHaveABloodTestButLuckilyIHadForcedMyselfToEatASandwichBeforeGoing
#SheSaidTheBabyWasMeasuringWellAndThatSheHasAPercentileOf50Percent
#SheToldMeThatBHadAPercentileOf32WhenSheWasBornWhichIDidNotKnowSoThisBabyIsDefinitelyBiggerForNow
#IActuallyThoughtBHadBeenLessThan32SoThatIsGoodToKnow
#SheWasTryingToFigureOutWhereTheBabysHeadWasButSaidItDoesNotMatterAsBTurnedAroundTheDayBeforeSheWasBornAnyways
#ThisWeekendMyParentsAreDueToLookAfterBAndIAmABitNervousWithAllHerEarlyWakings
#WeChangedOurHotelYesterdaySoThatWeAreStayingCloseToOurFavouriteIndianRestaurantInsteadAndTheRoomHasABigBathAsIDoNotKnowIfIWillHaveTheEnergyToSwim
#IHadABathTheOtherDayWhenTiagoHadToTakeACoupleOfHoursOffToLookAfterB
#IWasBoredOfLyingInBedAndThoughtItWouldDoMeGoodAndItWasTheFirstBathIHadEverHadWhilePregnantAndItWasGreatThoughIDidFeelGuiltyForHavingToUseSoMuchWater

#IKnowIHaveTakenALotOfPicturesOfMyselfLookingTiredInThePastForThisProjectWithinAProject #ButThisTimeIReallyAmTiredAndBeforeIDoNotThinkIKnewWhatTheMeaningOfTiredWas

I’m yet to do the shoot, but I think I will be probably lying down or some kind of pose that means little effort for my body.

(Yeah, a classic lie across the bed pose. I was initially wearing a dress, but I didn’t like how it looked in the photos/you couldn’t see my bump as well.)

#OrMaybeIWasTiredThenButIFeelExhaustedNowAndProbablyShouldBeSavingMyEnergyAndNotTryingToDoABitOfWork

I’ve been umming and ahh-ing about whether or not to write this today etc.

#IWentToBedFourNightsAgoFeelingLikeIWasMaybeGoingToBeSickButThoughtItWouldPass #IBarelySleptAndGotUpToGoToTheBathroomAroundOneThirtyInTheMorningAndKeptBeingSickThenFinallyStoppedButWasSickAgainAfterASitDown

I wish I had just made myself be sick before going to bed, but I really hoped it would pass.

#BActuallySleptUntilSixForOnceAndIWasSickWhenIGotUpThenButFeltFineEnoughToDoMyMorningExerciseButThenICrashed

Classic.

#IWentBackToBedAndTWatchedBThenIWatchedBForAnHourThenMyMumCameAndWatchedBUntilLunch

By watching B I mean I just laid on the sofa while she watched TV. I felt bad, but it was all I could do.

#ThenIGotUpToGiveHerLunchAndSheHadFallenAsleepOnMyMumSoTiagoWatchedHerDuringHisLunchThenSheNappedAndINapped

She was just asleep on my Mum’s lap. We (well Tiago) kept her up for an hour and hoped that she would sleep again.

#IWasSurprisedThatBSleptForTwoHoursButIGotHerUpAndPutHerInOurBedButThenISuddenlyFeltSick

It’s good to know that she can nap for a good amount of time after having a short nap not too long before.

The sickness just kind of ‘rose up’.

#SoIManagedToPutHerOnTheFloorAndRunToTheBathroomWhereIWasSickAndIMeanSickkk

Grim. B was just crying and luckily Tiago came upstairs and took her downstairs.

#IThinkItIsExhaustionAndTheSicknessIsASideEffectOfItThoughIHaveNotBeenSickSinceButHaveFeltLikeIWillBeAtTimes

I will probably call the doctors tomorrow just to rule stuff out, but I also don’t want to waste their time.

#BeforeBWasBornIDidUsedToSpendAWeekendInBedAtLeastOnceAYearButObviouslyItIsHardToDoThatNow

Lie in bed and try to sleep, or just watch terrible TV. I did feel better the next night as I just watched TV in bed, and I fell asleep with my phone next to me which I never do – and slept solidly until B woke up at 5.30am.

#TypicallyItHappenedAfterBStartedNurseryButIGuessMyBodyKnewICouldBeIllSoItWaitedUntilThenAndIHaveNotReallyBeenIllSinceBWasBorn

I guess it’s been due, and growing a baby is tiring.

#BHasBeenABitUpAndDownAsWellButMaybeItIsDueToStartingNurseryAndHavingALeapAndTeethingAndBeingFrustratedAtNotBeingAbleToTalk

I try to put myself in her shoes. It must be so annoying not being able to say what you want, though I can guess at times, but sometimes I seem quite off.

#WeGaveHerLunchYesterdayAndSheJustPushedItAllToTheFloorSoICriedAsIWasSoTired

That was my frustration.

#WeThoughtItWasBecauseSheWasOvertiredSoWeJustPutHerDownForHerNapAndSheWokeUpAfter40Minutes

Great.

#TiagoNeededARestAndIFeltTooTiredToLookAfterHerSoIGotIntoHerCotAndRubbedHerBackUntilSheFellBackToSleep

Not the approach I like to take, but I was desperate.

#IManagedToGetOutOfHerCotAndOutOfTheRoomWithoutHerWakingUpAndSheSleptForNearlyTwoMoreHours

I felt like a bit of a champion.

#IDoWorryHowIAmGoingToCopeWithTwoKidsButIAmHopingThatIWillSomehowFeelLessTiredWhenTheBabyIsOutAndNotTakingAllMyNutrientsButIDoubtIt

I do intend to breastfeed again, so she will still be taking nutrients but in a less invasive way to being inside of me I imagine. That’s what I think anyways. The baby is due to double in size between now and birth. *Nervous laugh*

#IHaveBarelyHadAnAppetiteButIHaveBeenMakingMyselfEatForTheBabysSake

It’s been a struggle.

#IDidHaveMy28WeeksMidwifeAppointmentThoughAndSheSaidEverythingSeemedFineButThatIShouldDrinkMore

I really struggled to get a urine sample before I left the house, but I couldn’t see over my bump and so didn’t catch most of it. She said it was enough for the test though. I had drank a lot, but I guess it was old piss. Lovely.

#IDidNotRealiseThatIWasGoingToHaveABloodTestButLuckilyIHadForcedMyselfToEatASandwichBeforeGoing

And drinking all the drinks had helped as it came out quite easily. Hurrah.

#SheSaidTheBabyWasMeasuringWellAndThatSheHasAPercentileOf50Percent #SheToldMeThatBHadAPercentileOf32WhenSheWasBornWhichIDidNotKnowSoThisBabyIsDefinitelyBiggerForNow #IActuallyThoughtBHadBeenLessThan32SoThatIsGoodToKnow

I thought that B had just been over the okay line (I’m not sure what that is, but I thought it was around 10-15%?)

So yeah my suspicions of the baby being bigger have been confirmed. Maybe the first time my body was testing me and thought I could grow a bigger one this time?

#SheWasTryingToFigureOutWhereTheBabysHeadWasButSaidItDoesNotMatterAsBTurnedAroundTheDayBeforeSheWasBornAnyways

Cue a conversation about B’s birth again.

#ThisWeekendMyParentsAreDueToLookAfterBAndIAmABitNervousWithAllHerEarlyWakings

Le sigh.

#WeChangedOurHotelYesterdaySoThatWeAreStayingCloseToOurFavouriteIndianRestaurantInsteadAndTheRoomHasABigBathAsIDoNotKnowIfIWillHaveTheEnergyToSwim

We can also cancel until an hour before check-in so if my parents change their minds, then we can cancel.

This hotel also has a pool, but it is a bit cheaper and we haven’t had food from our favourite Indian restaurant in a long time so it’s a good excuse to change hotel and location.

#IHadABathTheOtherDayWhenTiagoHadToTakeACoupleOfHoursOffToLookAfterB

I think this makes me sound really bad…

#IWasBoredOfLyingInBedAndThoughtItWouldDoMeGoodAndItWasTheFirstBathIHadEverHadWhilePregnantAndItWasGreatThoughIDidFeelGuiltyForHavingToUseSoMuchWater

A lot to cram into the last hashtag, but yeah it was good. I had ran a very shallow bath to begin with and realised I either had to really fill it up or not have a bath. It was weird lifting my bump out of the water as it suddenly felt cold, but also quite heavy?

28 weeks pregnant with B comparison:

Self-portrait of myself nude from my head to knees. There are white sections over my breasts and pubic area.
I Just Want A Nice Record Of My Pregnancy As Maybe I Will Never Be Pregnant Again (28 and a half weeks)
 
#IPlannedToRecreateMyFailedBloodTestsPhotoButIWas7AndAHalfWeeksPregnantThen
#IAmNow28AndAHalfNowSoMyBumpWasTooBig
#SoIRemadeIHaveNeverSeenMyBodyLikeThisBeforeAndItIsSoWeirdInstead
#IHaveTakenNudePicturesBefore
#AndThereAreOthersInTheSeries
#ButIDoNotKnowWhyIFeelSoWeirdAboutHavingThemInThisSeries
#IGuessBecauseTheyAreNotReallyHiding
#AndAllAboutRevealing
#ThoughWhenPostingItIWillHaveToCensorItWhichIsSomewhatARelief
#IHaveBeenMakingSureThatITakeMorePicturesForMyself
#AsMaybeIWillNeverBePregnantAgain
#AndIDoNotActuallyWriteInMyDiaryAboutBeingPregnantThatMuch
#SoThisProjectIsANiceRecordOfIt
#MyBumpIsDefinitelyGettingBigger
#IThinkTheBabyDoublesInSizeBetweenNowAndBirth
#IHaveBeenContinuingMyDanceVideos
#TodayTwoPeopleSaidCongratsOnMyPregnancy
#IHadOnlyHadOneOtherMessageBefore
#SoMaybeItIsFinallyMoreObvious
#MyYouTubeAudienceIsMainlyMaleWhichIsABitWeird
#TodayIGotASexualInstagramMessage
#IThinkTheyFoundMyInstagramViaMyYouTube
#ItIsObviousOnYouTubeAndOnInstagramThatIAmPregnant
#SoItIsMoreWeirdToGetGrossMessages
#ThoughIKnowThatSomePeopleHavePregnancyFetishes
#WhichIsWhyItPutsMeOffSharingNudePhotosOfMyPregnantSelf
#ButItIsAlsoFunnyAsIThinkALotOfPeopleGetPregnantAndDoProfessionalNudeShoots
#EvenIfBeforeTheyWouldNotThinkAboutBeingPhotographedNude
#IJustWantANiceRecordOfMyPregnancy
#MyAppSaysThereAre80DaysLeftIfIGiveBirthOnTheDueDate

Well, spoiler I am pregnant again but it would be nice to have a comparison photo.

I have taken less nudes this time (if any?), but I do need to take at least one like this just as a reminder – and maybe baby X will say ‘Hey Mum, why did you not take a nude portrait with me?’

I am still dancing, but I think I need to be more casual about it with my tiredness and all. No one has commented about my bump yet, but then again I am quite behind with posting them – just like this project. At the time of writing this, this will be my 17th post that I need to post. They’re all ready to go, but yeah I’ve fell behind.

I’m also adding the first photo that I took at 29 weeks on as it talks about my 28 week appointment:

The backdrop is half a plain white wall and half black fabric. I am stood with the wall to my right and the fabric to my left, facing the left of the image. I am wearing a bra and leggings and have my left hand on my hip. Tiago's right hand is resting on my left thigh.
Subject: Leaky Boobs (29 weeks)
 
#IHadAMidwifeAppointmentTheOtherDay
#IAmSupposedToHaveThemEvery3Weeks
#ButTheyAreBeingChangedToEvery4WeeksNow
#IDidTheUsualUrineTestForProteinAndAllWasFine
#MyBloodPressureWasLowInAGoodWayAgain
#SheTriedToDoABloodTestToCheckMyIronLevels
#SheOnlyHadTwoNeedlesInHerBag
#TheRestWereInHerCar
#AndSheCouldNotManageToGetBlood
#SheSaidMyVeinsAreDeep
#IMadeSureIAteAndDrankWaterButObviouslyWasNotEnough
#TheyAreStillDoingHomeBirthsForNow
#AndSheSaidThatMorePeopleAreAskingForHomeBirthsNow
#SheSaidMyMusclesAreSeparatingQuiteALot
#AndThatIMayNeedToDoPhysioAfterBirth
#TiagoStoodAtTheDoorAsSheCheckedTheHeartbeat
#AllWasFine
#SheSaidMyPlacentaIsMainlyAtTheFront
#AndThatMightBeWhyISometimesCanNotFeelTheBaby
#IAmFeelingItMoreThoughParticularlyWhenIAmLyingDownInBed
#OftenICanNotFeelIt
#ButIPutMyHandAtTheBottomOfMyBumpAndICanFeelIt
#IKeepWakingUpAround3am
#WhenIWokeUpAtHalf3TodayMyLeftBoobFeltWeird
#ICouldNotSleepSoIReadForAnHour
#AtSomePointIRealisedThatItHadLeakedABit
#ThatIsTheFirstTimeThatHasHappenedSoItWasKindOfOddButExciting
#IThoughtItWouldNotHappenUntilLaterButLetUsSeeWhenTheRightOneFirstLeaks
#IEmailedMyselfWithTheSubjectOfLeakyBoobToRemindMyselfIncaseIForgotByTheMorning
#IHaveABruiseOnMyRightArmFromTheBloodTestAndIForgotToIncludeItInThePhoto

My midwife appointments are currently every 3 weeks. My blood test was more successful this time too.

No one has mentioned that my muscles have separated this time, which is good – I’ve made an effort to not do anything that might encourage them to separate more.

I think my placenta is at the back this time.

I’m yet to have a leak, so maybe that might happen soon?


Thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying my blog (and/or the work I make) please consider supporting me by ‘buying me a coffee’ on Ko-fi – thanks!

Categories
Pregnancy Waiting II

33 / Portrait Of A Mother Of A Sixteen Month Old (24 Weeks / October 2021)

Self-portrait with B. I am holding her in my arms and she is touching my face with both of her hands. Her right foot has been photoshopped (duplicated and mirrored) over her eye, nose and mouth.
33 / Portrait Of A Mother Of A Sixteen Month Old (24 Weeks / October 2021)
 
#IHaveAlreadyDoneTheShootForOnceAndWasTryingToCopyTheShootThatBAndIDidTogetherWhenITurned32
#BackThenThoughSheDidNotMoveAboutMuchSoTodayWasAMassiveWriggleFest
#AtOnePointSheWasJustMessingWithMyFaceAndAsHerNailsNeedToBeCutMyLipHurtsABit
#HerNewFavouriteThingIsStandingUpOnHerBouncingZebraToyAndOnHerSmallCar
#SheHasBeenThreateningToDoItForAWhileSoIWasImpressedWhenSheActuallyStoodUpOnThemAndWithSoMuchControl
#IGuessAllTheClimbingOnHerFrameAndRampAndStandingInTheWobblyCarAtTheParkHasReallyImprovedHerBalanceAndCoreStrength
#AtTheWeekendWeWentToSeeMyParentsAndBHadLotsOfFunExploringTheirGarden
#TheyHaveOfferedToWatchBForAWeekendSoWeHaveJustBookedIntoAHotelWhereThereIsAPoolAndWeIntendToJustSwimEatAndSleep
#WeThoughtItWasAtLeastABitOfADriveFromTheirHouseButItIsOnly15MinutesAwayWhichIGuessIsGoodInCaseWeNeedToGetBackForAnyReason
#TypicallyAsSoonAsTheySaidTheyWouldHaveHerSheDidNotSleepVeryWellThatNightAtAll
#SheHasAMouthFullOfTeethNowButIThinkSheIsGoingThroughAParticularlyBadTeethingPhase
#WeTriedToSeeIfSheWouldSettleButAfterAWhileWeHadToGoInWithParacetamolAndAfterAnotherVisitWhereWeBothLaidWithHerInHerCotSheFinallyWentToSleepTwoHoursLater
#YesterdaySheMissedHerMorningNapWhichIThinkWasDueToMeForgettingToGiveHerParacetamol
#IHaveHadMyFluVaccineNowWhichIsGoodAndMyArmDidNotHurtAtAllOrAnything
#TwoHoursAfterTheAppointmentAtAPharmacyMyDoctorsMessagedToSayICouldHaveAFluJabWithThemThisWeek
#YesterdayWeDugOutTheRestOfMyMaternityPillowAsIHaveJustBeenUsingASmallSectionOfItForWeeks
#IFindMyselfWakingUpALotMoreAtNightNowAndOftenOnMyBackWhichIsNotGood
#IFeelLikeMyBumpIsGettingSoBigThatICanNotImagineItGettingMuchBiggerButIKnowItWill
#INeedToStartReadingHypnobirthingStuffAgainAndMentallyPreparingMyselfForTheBirth
#ThisWeekISaidToTiagoThatWeNeedToStartThinkingAboutBabyNamesAgain
#HeJustTurnedToBAndSaidTheNextSoundYouMakeWillBeTheNameOfYourSister
#WeBothWatchedHerWithAnticipationAndAfterALittleWhileSheDidABurp
#IAmTryingToImagineHowItWillBeOnMyNextBirthdayWhenIAm34AndWillMostLikelyHaveTwoKids
#ThePictureWillDefinitelyBeMoreOfAStruggleForSure
#IKeepSayingItButIKnowIWillNeedToAcceptThatThereWillBeLessTimeForMeForAWhile
#AtTheMomentTiagoUsuallyGetsBUpAndGivesHerBreakfastWhileIStretchAndFaffABit
#WithANewbornIKnowThatTimeWillProbablyBecomeBabyFeedingTimeAndIWillJustNeedToRestWhenICan
#WeOrderedAnIndianTakeawayLastNightThatWeWillAlsoHaveForDinnerTonight
#TiagoGetsStressedOutAboutPresentsEveryYearButIDoNotReallyWantAnything
#IAmOwedAFewMassagesThatHaveBeenGiftedForBirthdaysAndHolidaysEtcFromHimViaWordSoMaybeIWillActuallyGetOneOnOurWeekendAway

#IHaveAlreadyDoneTheShootForOnceAndWasTryingToCopyTheShootThatBAndIDidTogetherWhenITurned32

We did the shoot before her first nap.

(32 shoot.)

#BackThenThoughSheDidNotMoveAboutMuchSoTodayWasAMassiveWriggleFest

I was a bit nervous about how it would go, which was why I was keen to do it asap today.

#AtOnePointSheWasJustMessingWithMyFaceAndAsHerNailsNeedToBeCutMyLipHurtsABit

She found it hilarious. There is a series of her laughing her head off at me.

She was grumpy in the beginning, but then she got into it – especially when she could see the photos of herself and steal my remote.

#HerNewFavouriteThingIsStandingUpOnHerBouncingZebraToyAndOnHerSmallCar

Now I can not look away as you never know what daredevil stunt she will be doing next.

#SheHasBeenThreateningToDoItForAWhileSoIWasImpressedWhenSheActuallyStoodUpOnThemAndWithSoMuchControl

The zebra is quite tall, but she stands up quite slowly and steadily. She does fall off from time to time though.

She was standing on the car in the kitchen and fell off a couple of times. That one does move as it has wheels. The zebra does rotate though.

#IGuessAllTheClimbingOnHerFrameAndRampAndStandingInTheWobblyCarAtTheParkHasReallyImprovedHerBalanceAndCoreStrength

I am quite impressed considering how often she falls over and I thought for a while that her balance was terrible, so it has improved quickly.

#AtTheWeekendWeWentToSeeMyParentsAndBHadLotsOfFunExploringTheirGarden

For a while she just sat playing with stones, she was super intrigued by their cat, and a bit freaked out by their turkeys.

#TheyHaveOfferedToWatchBForAWeekendSoWeHaveJustBookedIntoAHotelWhereThereIsAPoolAndWeIntendToJustSwimEatAndSleep

It will be our first over night stay away from B as a couple. Weird. It is nice to think of grand schemes to get up to, but yeah we just want to sleep, watch some crap TV, eat some nice food and swim. I need to get a new swimming costume as the one I wore in summer was tight then.

#WeThoughtItWasAtLeastABitOfADriveFromTheirHouseButItIsOnly15MinutesAwayWhichIGuessIsGoodInCaseWeNeedToGetBackForAnyReason

I was just looking for places with a pool and my geography is obviously really terrible. I feel so tired writing this. I think the reviews said the beds are comfy.

#TypicallyAsSoonAsTheySaidTheyWouldHaveHerSheDidNotSleepVeryWellThatNightAtAll

She does not cry much usually, but she was crying quite heavily. We were quite concerned.

#SheHasAMouthFullOfTeethNowButIThinkSheIsGoingThroughAParticularlyBadTeethingPhase

Maybe it was affecting her ears as well? At first I thought it was an ear infection.

#WeTriedToSeeIfSheWouldSettleButAfterAWhileWeHadToGoInWithParacetamolAndAfterAnotherVisitWhereWeBothLaidWithHerInHerCotSheFinallyWentToSleepTwoHoursLater

We were conflicted over her sleep training, and naturally reacting to how we saw her. Tiago did cuddle her a lot the first time round until she calmed down, but she was still upset.

So after a while he went in again and as she was still crying I also went in. We laid in her cot with her and before long she was clapping and laughing, so I read her bedtime story and sang Twinkle Twinkle to her to let her know it was bedtime, then she settled. Phew.

#YesterdaySheMissedHerMorningNapWhichIThinkWasDueToMeForgettingToGiveHerParacetamol

I planned to give it to her, but forgot. We usually don’t use the syringe that comes with it, so I have to use that now and realised that we haven’t been giving her the full dose that she is allowed so hopefully by doing that she will be in less pain now.

#IHaveHadMyFluVaccineNowWhichIsGoodAndMyArmDidNotHurtAtAllOrAnything

Hurrah. I have been tired, but I think that is a normal pregnancy symptom…

#TwoHoursAfterTheAppointmentAtAPharmacyMyDoctorsMessagedToSayICouldHaveAFluJabWithThemThisWeek

Typical. It would have been easier. Oh well.

#YesterdayWeDugOutTheRestOfMyMaternityPillowAsIHaveJustBeenUsingASmallSectionOfItForWeeks

I was reading about how I need to support my whole body more, so I thought we better find it. It was vacuum packed in the garage.

#IFindMyselfWakingUpALotMoreAtNightNowAndOftenOnMyBackWhichIsNotGood

Often I wake up on my back and know I shouldn’t be on my back, but just kind of end up staying there. Whoops.

#IFeelLikeMyBumpIsGettingSoBigThatICanNotImagineItGettingMuchBiggerButIKnowItWill

Definitely less space for food these days.

#INeedToStartReadingHypnobirthingStuffAgainAndMentallyPreparingMyselfForTheBirth

I’m going to finish reading Dave Grohl’s book then I’ll start reading my hypnobirthing books.

#ThisWeekISaidToTiagoThatWeNeedToStartThinkingAboutBabyNamesAgain

With B we didn’t have that many thinking sessions about them. We had one early on and then left it for ages. It seems to be our approach this time around too…

#HeJustTurnedToBAndSaidTheNextSoundYouMakeWillBeTheNameOfYourSister

She does babble quite a lot now so I was wondering what she would say.

#WeBothWatchedHerWithAnticipationAndAfterALittleWhileSheDidABurp

Classic B.

#IAmTryingToImagineHowItWillBeOnMyNextBirthdayWhenIAm34AndWillMostLikelyHaveTwoKids

I say ‘most likely’ as I am still quite anxious about things.

#ThePictureWillDefinitelyBeMoreOfAStruggleForSure

I might need to recruit Tiago, or I imagine B might be stood at my feet just pulling on my top. I will have probably mastered how to hold both of them, but who knows.

#IKeepSayingItButIKnowIWillNeedToAcceptThatThereWillBeLessTimeForMeForAWhile

I thought about it again this morning.

#AtTheMomentTiagoUsuallyGetsBUpAndGivesHerBreakfastWhileIStretchAndFaffABit

Not too shabby.

#WithANewbornIKnowThatTimeWillProbablyBecomeBabyFeedingTimeAndIWillJustNeedToRestWhenICan

Less reading, less working, more just resting when I can and looking after my kids. It’s weird to say kids.

#WeOrderedAnIndianTakeawayLastNightThatWeWillAlsoHaveForDinnerTonight

Tiago thought about ordering from somewhere more fancy, but I like our local place. I know what we like. We ordered a couple of different things for once too and they were good.

#TiagoGetsStressedOutAboutPresentsEveryYearButIDoNotReallyWantAnything

If I want something I usually get it for myself.

#IAmOwedAFewMassagesThatHaveBeenGiftedForBirthdaysAndHolidaysEtcFromHimViaWordSoMaybeIWillActuallyGetOneOnOurWeekendAway

Covid, B and life have just stopped me having one. I definitely want a proper one after Baby X is born. I haven’t had many in my life, but I know it will be good for my body, and me.

24 weeks pregnant with B comparison:

Diptych where in both I am stood sideways with my left arm forward, my right arm hanging down with a remote, my left leg is forward and my right leg is back. In the first I am breathing out and my bump is visible, in the second I am breathing in and my bump is a bit smaller.
I Tried To Suck In My Bump, But It Didn’t Really Work (24 weeks)
 
#BeforeIWasPregnantIDidNotLikeWearingTightTops
#IBoughtSomeForTheWinterThisYearButDidNotRealiseTheyWereSoTight
#AsTheyWereInPacketsAndIThoughtTheyWereLikeTheOnesIAlreadyHad
#WellIGuessIStillDoNotLikeWearingTightTopsButIHaveBeenWearingThem
#ISupposeIWantToTakeAdvantageOfTheFactThatBumpsAreSeenAsBeautiful
#ThoughNowIAmAtThePointWhereILoveMyBumpButIFeelAwkwardWhenPeopleNoticeIt
#IWoreThisTopTheOtherDayButDidNotThinkMuchAsIWasGoingToWearAJumperOverIt
#ButIWasWarmSoIWasAtTheOfficeAndFeltSelfConsciousWalkingDownTheCorridor
#WhenIWalkedPastAnOfficeWithAnOpenDoorITriedToSuckInMyBump
#ButIRealisedThatItDidNotChangeMuch
#ThenInTheEveningAGroupOfUsWentOutForDinner
#AndItWasHotSoISatInMyTopFeelingAwkward
#ThenWhenIWentToTheBathroomITriedToBreatheInMyBumpABit
#AndPutMyArmsInAWayToTryToCoverItABit
#IGuessIThoughtPeopleWouldJudgeMeForBeingPregnantAndWearingATightTop
#NoMatterHowYouLookAsAWomanYouWillBeCriticisedForSomethingAnyways
#InOtherNewsIAmABitWorriedAboutTheCoronaVirus
#IfIWasNotPregnantThenIWouldNotBeSoWorried
#ButBecauseIAmIDoNotKnowHowItWouldAffectTheBaby
#WouldItHaveLongTermHealthProblemsBecauseOfIt
#WhoKnows
#IAmJustWashingMyHandsMore
#AndSideEyeingPeopleWhoCoughWithNoAttemptToCoverTheirMouthInPublic
#HopefullyItWillBeUnderControlSoon
#IForgotToMentionInMyLastPhotoThatIHadSuchABadHipPainACoupleOfDaysBeforeThePictureWasTaken
#IThinkIJustOverStretchedItBySittingWithButterflyLegsForTooLong
#ButThenItWasReallyAwkwardForMeToWalkForTwoDays
#IStretchedMoreAndGotOverItLuckily
#GettingBoredOfHavingToStretchSoMuch
#ButIFeelGoodAfterwards

I am currently (31st October) sat in one of my tight tops. I feel less awkward as no one really sees me these days. I have breathed in a few times in the mirror to see if it makes a difference, but at this point it does not.

‘#HopefullyItWillBeUnderControlSoon’

I can’t believe that Covid is still a thing and cases are going up… At least we have vaccines now. I have been less scared now that I am double vaccinated, and I feel better for having the flu jab as well.

I have been stretching more this time, so I think that is helping a lot.


Thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying my blog (and/or the work I make) please consider supporting me by ‘buying me a coffee’ on Ko-fi – thanks!

Categories
Pregnancy Waiting II

Portrait Of A Mother Of A Fifteen Month Old (20 Weeks / 16th September 2021)

Self-portrait in B's tent. I'm leaning on my elbows in the doorway with my fingers pushing in my cheeks.
Portrait Of A Mother Of A Fifteen Month Old (20 Weeks / 16th September 2021)
 
#AfterALotOfLaptopStressInTheLastWeekWithItChargingThenNotItIsNoMore
#SoIAmWritingThisFromTiagosWhereTheSKeyDoesNotWorkAndIHavePasteItInEveryTimeIWantIt
#ICanNotBelieveThatIAm20WeeksAlready
#LastNightIHadATerribleLegCrampForTheFirstTimeInAgesAndIThinkItWasDueToBeingDehydrated
#IWasSoTiredTheOtherDayThatILayDownForANapDuringHerSecondNapWhichIUsuallyDoButThenOversleptBy40Minutes
#LuckilyIPutBToBedJust10MinutesLaterThanUsualAndSheWokeUpAt7InTheMorning
#IAmTryingToMakeMyLifeEasierByLettingBCrawlInAndOutOfHerCotViaTheZippedEntrance
#SheHasDefinitelyChangedALotInTheLastWeekOrTwo
#SheHasStartedToSlideOutOfHerPushchairWhenIPutHerInItSoINowHaveToReclineItToBabyModeWhenItIsTimeToGo
#SheDoesNotComplainOnceSheIsBuckledInAtLeast
#BLovesHerNewShoesAndWandersAroundThePlaygroundInThemNow
#SheSeemsToWalkInThemWellAndHerNewFavouriteThingToDoIsJustShakeTheChainAtTheBottomOfAClimbingWall
#TheOtherDaySheKeptOpeningALittleDrawerInTheLivingRoomThatCouldFallOutAndHurtHer
#TAndIKeptSayingNoAndWhenISayNoSheLooksAtMeLikeIAmTheMeanestPersonOnThePlanet
#InTheEndWeTurnedItRoundAndWhenSheNoticedSheWasPuzzledFor5SecondsAndThenMovedOntoSomethingElse
#SheHasAPatchOfDrySkinOnTheBackOfHerNeckWhichWasWorryingMeButThenIRealisedItIsBecauseSheLikesToPutEverythingAroundHerNeck
#ItIsNotTheBestHabitForHerToHaveSoWeHaveToBeReallyCareful
#SheLikesToHoldThingsSoTheyTouchTheBackOfHerNeckRatherThanGoAllTheWayRoundAtLeast
#SheHasStartedToHelpHerselfToFruitFromTheFruitBowlAndYesterdayManagedToEatMostOfAnAppleThroughoutTheDay
#YouCanSeeThatSheHasAMouthfulOfTeethNowButTheAppleWasQuiteSoftWhichExplainsWhySheWasNotStruggling
#ThisLackOfSKeyIsReallyAnnoying
#BHasAlwaysLovedMusicButItShowsMoreLatelyWhenASongEndsAndSheMakesANoiseAsIfToSayWhyHasTheMusicStopped
#IAmWorriedAboutCovidAndThingsGettingBadAgain
#IFeelABitDividedAboutBoosterShotsAsItSeemsABitUnfairOnALotOfCountriesButIWillAlsoFeelMoreRelievedWhenNanGetsHers
#WeWentToBsToddlerClassAgainAndAtTheFirstOneIDidNotWearAMaskButIDidAtThisOne
#IKnowOnlyMeWearingAMaskDoesNotDoMuchGoodButIFeelSlightlyMoreProtected
#IDoNotWantBsClassesToGetCancelledAgainIfCasesIncreaseButPerhapsItWillBeEasierToAttendOnlineIfItIsAfterBabyXIsBorn
#SheKeptHerDistanceFromTheOtherKidsAndWasQuiteHappyStandingByHerselfWithAMaraca
#ItMustBeOverwhelmingForHerSuddenlyBeingAroundOlderKidsSoAsLongAsSheEnjoysHerselfIDoNotMind
#SheLovesToWatchTheOlderKidsInThePlaygroundSoMaybeSheJustNeedsABitMoreTimeBeforeSheJoinsIn

#AfteraLotOfLaptopStressInTheLastWeekWithItChargingThenNotItIsNoMore

It was struggling to charge, so I got a new charger and then that confirmed that it was my laptop that had the problem… A replacement will hopefully arrive in the next few days.

#SoIAmWritingThisFromTiagosWhereTheSKeyDoesNotWorkAndIHavePasteItInEveryTimeIWantIt

It makes for slow and frustrating work. Maybe it will be a shorter entry than normal.

#ICanNotBelieveThatIAm20WeeksAlready

I have my 20 week scan coming up. I am excited but nervous.

#LastNightIHadATerribleLegCrampForTheFirstTimeInAgesAndIThinkItWasDueToBeingDehydrated

I did feel really thirsty. It is so painful.

#IWasSoTiredTheOtherDayThatILayDownForANapDuringHerSecondNapWhichIUsuallyDoButThenOversleptBy40Minutes

I think my alarm had gone off but I was so disorientated that I went back to sleep and then woke up 40 minutes later and went ‘whoops’. The alarm clock in our room has weirdly disappeared while we were on holiday, but every one says they have not touched it. Weird.

#LuckilyIPutBToBedJust10MinutesLaterThanUsualAndSheWokeUpAt7InTheMorning

Phew. I did not want to put her to bed much later, and I was worried that she would wake up at 6 or something.

She has been making noises at 5 or 6 some days but she tends to go back to sleep until 6:45 or 7. Phew.

#IAmTryingToMakeMyLifeEasierByLettingBCrawlInAndOutOfHerCotViaTheZippedEntrance

I do not want to have to lift her up more times than necessary.

#SheHasDefinitelyChangedALotInTheLastWeekOrTwo

She seems more grown up or acts older at times.

#SheHasStartedToSlideOutOfHerPushchairWhenIPutHerInItSoINowHaveToReclineItToBabyModeWhenItIsTimeToGo

A bit of a tantrum. This seems to be the easiest way to deal with it, where we both do not get too stressed or annoyed.

#SheDoesNotComplainOnceSheIsBuckledInAtLeast

I think kids get distracted quite quickly.

#BLovesHerNewShoesAndWandersAroundThePlaygroundInThemNow #SheSeemsToWalkInThemWellAndHerNewFavouriteThingToDoIsJustShakeTheChainAtTheBottomOfAClimbingWall

Considering she had not worn shoes for three or more weeks she walk really well in them. she likes to play with the velcro too…

She likes to rattle the chain as it makes a loud noise. it is fine as long as long as no older kids are waiting to climb.

#TheOtherDaySheKeptOpeningALittleDrawerInTheLivingRoomThatCouldFallOutAndHurtHer #TAndIKeptSayingNoAndWhenISayNoSheLooksAtMeLikeIAmTheMeanestPersonOnThePlanet

The way her lip curls (I think that’s the right term?) and she looks at me. I only say no if she is doing something dangerous, so I do not feel too bad about it. She does not give T the same look though…

#InTheEndWeTurnedItRoundAndWhenSheNoticedSheWasPuzzledFor5SecondsAndThenMovedOntoSomethingElse

There is always something else for her to be meddling with…

#SheHasAPatchOfDrySkinOnTheBackOfHerNeckWhichWasWorryingMeButThenIRealisedItIsBecauseSheLikesToPutEverythingAroundHerNeck

Which likely explains it, so I have been putting cream on it whenever I remember.

#ItIsNotTheBestHabitForHerToHaveSoWeHaveToBeReallyCareful

We can not seem to stop her doing it.

#SheLikesToHoldThingsSoTheyTouchTheBackOfHerNeckRatherThanGoAllTheWayRoundAtLeast

I am worried that she might suffocate herself. I can see how it is easily done…

#SheHasStartedToHelpHerselfToFruitFromTheFruitBowlAndYesterdayManagedToEatMostOfAnAppleThroughoutTheDay

She took a bit out of it though and then was keen to bite all the other ones.

#YouCanSeeThatSheHasAMouthfulOfTeethNowButTheAppleWasQuiteSoftWhichExplainsWhySheWasNotStruggling

I was impressed but also worried that she was going to break all her teeth.

#ThisLackOfSKeyIsReallyAnnoying

–make s hashtag capital —

I am going to have to make all the capital s’ bigger when I post this. It is too much effort. (Going through this in mid-October I have had to capitalise so many s’.)

#BHasAlwaysLovedMusicButItShowsMoreLatelyWhenASongEndsAndSheMakesANoiseAsIfToSayWhyHasTheMusicStopped

We listen to a good mix of classic, and then Vicky Arlidge – her favourite nursery rhyme singer.

#IAmWorriedAboutCovidAndThingsGettingBadAgain

Oh, the C word appears again.

#IFeelABitDividedAboutBoosterShotsAsItSeemsaBitUnfairOnALotOfCountriesButIWillAlsoFeelMoreRelievedWhenNanGetsHers

It does seem unfair to be getting them already, but people like my Nan are starting to get more vulnerable again.

#WeWentToBsToddlerClassAgainAndAtTheFirstOneIDidNotWearaMaskButIDidAtThisOne

I decided to not wear one when I saw no one else was, but then I spent the whole class feeling uncomfortable. With this one, someone else walked in wearing one, but then took it off. I felt awkard being the only person wearing one – in case people thought I was ill or something. Oh well.

#IKnowOnlyMeWearingAMaskDoesNotDoMuchGoodButIFeelSlightlyMoreProtected

I am basically protecting everyone from me, but I’m not that protected from them. Fun time.

#IDoNotWantBsClassesToGetCancelledAgainIfCasesIncreaseButPerhapsItWillBeEasierToAttendOnlineIfItIsAfterBabyXIsBorn

It is what it is, and we will just have to deal with it. I am not looking forward to the winter.

#SheKeptHerDistanceFromTheOtherKidsAndWasQuiteHappyStandingByHerselfWithAMaraca

The other kids are mostly older and have lots of energy and can talk, and respond more.

#ItMustBeOverwhelmingForHerSuddenlyBeingAroundOlderKidsSoAsLongAsSheEnjoysHerselfIDoNotMind

It is her class, so she can do what she wants. she is not hurting anyone, so it is fine.

#SheLovesToWatchTheOlderKidsInThePlaygroundSoMaybeSheJustNeedsABitMoreTimeBeforeSheJoinsIn

She is just doing a lot of observing, so one day she might just start to do more things, and get more involved. We just need to wait and see.

20 weeks pregnant with B comparison:

Close-up of my belly button.
My Belly Button Has Never Been So Close (20 and a half weeks)
 
#IGuessItMustBeWeirderForPeopleWhoHaveInnies
#ItHasBeenMoreOutForAFewWeeks
#ButIAmStartingToThinkThatMaybeItHasAlwaysBeenLikeThis
#ButBecauseMyBellyIsGrowingThenItIsCloserToMe
#IFeelLikeItWasHarderToCleanBeforeThough
#InOtherNewsIHadMy20WeekScanToday
#WasRelievedToSeeAHeartbeatVeryQuickly
#ThoughTheScannerWasQuietALotWhichWorriedMe
#IGuessSheWasJustConcentratingOnCheckingThings
#AtOnePointWeCouldSeeItMovingItsMouthWhichWasFunny
#SheDidAllTheChecksApartFromThree
#SheAskedMeToGoToTheLooAndThenJumpUpAndDown
#TheBabyWasInABallAndWouldNotBudge
#SheHadMeRockingMyHipsFromSideToSide
#ItWouldNotMove
#SheMadeMeDrinkASugaryDrinkAndGoForAWalk
#ItWouldNotMove
#SheHadMeDoingStarjumps
#IWasImpressedWithHowManyIDidBut
#ItWouldNotMove
#SoIHaveToGoBackIn2To3Weeks
#IHopeEverythingIsOkay
#IStillHaveNotHadMyScreeningResultsFrom7PlusWeeksAgo
#IJustKeptLaughingAtTheMonitor
#WeHaveAPictureOfItLookingLikeAGrumpyOldMan
#WhenSheShowedUsItsFaceBeforeItLookedMoreLikeAPuppyThanABaby
#ThenSheShowedUsItsSpineSoMuchThatIComparedItToADinosaur
#SheGaveUsThePicturesForFreeAsSheSaidTheBabyWasInSuchABadPosition
#ICanDefinitelyFeelTheBabyMovingAroundNow
#ItTypicallyWasMovingBeforeAndAfterTheAppointment

It seemed quite pushed out from an early stage this time, but I didn’t document it as it was not so interesting to me this time.

My next post will talk about my 20 week scan for baby X. It was definitely a lot easier this time round, though I was sent out to go to the toilet (weirdly I wrote holiday) to see if it would help do the last few checks.


Thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying my blog (and/or the work I make) please consider supporting me by ‘buying me a coffee’ on Ko-fi – thanks!

Categories
Pregnancy Waiting II

Portrait Of A Mother Of A Fourteen Month Old (15 Weeks / 13th August 2021)

Self-portrait of myself yawning with my eyes partially closed due the yawning. I am resting the index finger of my left hand near my left eye.
Portrait Of A Mother Of A Fourteen Month Old (15 Weeks / 13th August 2021)
 
#IShouldBePackingButInsteadIAmProcrastinatingAndDoingAShootThatIWasNotGoingToDoToday
#ItMakesSenseToGetItDoneThoughAsIWantItToHaveTheSameLookAsOtherPortraitsOfAMotherOfEtc
#HopefullyTomorrowWeWillBeGoingAwayAndIWillHaveToDoWithoutMyLightingKitForNearly3Weeks
#IHadLookedAtGettingSomethingThatWouldSuitButIAmNotEarningMuchAtTheMomentSoItFeltQuiteFrivolous
#AnywaysYesterdayWeWentToBirminghamAirportToDoOurFitToFlyPCRTests
#WeWentForTheDriveThroughOptionWhichWasGoodAsBSleptTheWholeTimeEvenWhenALoudPlaneTookOff
#IWarnedTheWomanThatIAmJustGettingOverMyMorningSicknessButItWasFineAndLessUncomfortableThanWhenIDoAFlowTestMyself
#IJustStartedToWinceOnTheLastFewSecondsOfTheTenSecondsNostrilTwisting
#WeAreDueToGetOurResultsByTenTonightThoughTheySaidItMayTake48HoursFromTheTestWhichIsTomorrowMorning
#ByThatPointWeWillBePackedAndHeadingToLondonSoIReallyHopeTheTestsAreNegative
#IFeltALotMoreHappyAndRelaxedOnceTheTestsWereDoneAsThatWasABigStressToOrganiseAndAtThisPointThereIsNotMuchWeCanDoApartFromWaitForTheResults
#ThoughIFeltLessRelaxedOnceIRealisedThatWeWillBeTestedOnArrivalTooSoWeHaveToHopeWeDoNotPickItUpBetweenTests
#ItShouldBeFineExceptForYesterdayIChattedToALotOfPeopleInThePark
#ISawACoupleWhoWeSeeAllTheTimeAndChattedToThemForTheFirstTimeWhichWasNiceButTypicallyItIsJustAsWeAreGoingAway
#AndThenISpokeToAWomanWithADogWhoWeAlsoSeeAllTheTimeButHaveNeverSpokenMuchTo
#BWasAtFirstYellingOrFrustratedlyTalkingToHerDogAndThenSheWasYellingAtASquirrel
#IHaveNoticedThatSheTalksToAllAnimalsApartFromGeeseWhichIsFairEnoughAsTheyAreScary
#TheWomanCameByAndISaidThatBOnlyLikesToTalkToAnimalsAndThenWeSpokeForAges
#AndThenWeSawAnotherWomanWithADogWhoWeUsuallySeeAboutOnceAMonthNowButByThatPointBWasFedUpAndGotScaredByHerDogBarking
#BLikesToStareALotNowAndTheOtherDayATeenagerYelledAtHerSayingWhatAreYouStaringAt
#IThinkHimYellingJustMadeBStareMoreAndHisFriendSaidToHimWhatAreYouDoingWhichIsGood
#BWokeUpAt6ThisMorningThoughMeAndTiagoWereAwakeAtHerUsualTimeAndWorryingIfSheWasAliveAsSheWasSoQuiet
#IDoNotKnowWhySheSleptLateAsInTheParkSheWasEitherInTheSwingOrHerPushchairButMaybeTheBiryaniSheHadForDinnerFilledHerUpOrSheJustWasNotTeethingAt5ForOnce
#LastNightIWokeUpAndBoltedAcrossTheRoomAsInMyDreamBWasAboutToFallOffTheKitchenCounter
#BMakesMeLaughAsYesterdayNanWasPickingCrumbsUpOffTheFloorWhileBSatNextToHerPlayingWithTheVelcroOnNansShoes
#IHaveMyMidwifeAppointmentTodayAtLunchSoHopefullyThatWillAllGoOkay
#WeirdlyTheMidwifeAndIThoughtWeRecognisedEachOtherButIDoNotThinkWeHaveEverMetBefore
#SheWasAlsoLovelyAndIsAboutAWeekMorePregnantThanMeWhichIsCoolButAlsoAnnoyingAsIWantHerAsMyMidwife
#AtMyLastAppointmentTheySaidTheyMayOrMayNotListenForAHeartbeatAsItIsUsuallyTooEarly
#ButSheTriedAndItWasReassuringToHearItAndSheSaidIfIEverWantToCheckItToJustSendHerAMessage

#IShouldBePackingButInsteadIAmProcrastinatingAndDoingAShootThatIWasNotGoingToDoToday

I just realised that the reminders I write to myself were stacking up, and if I do this today then I can chill about doing work for a little bit.

#ItMakesSenseToGetItDoneThoughAsIWantItToHaveTheSameLookAsOtherPortraitsOfAMotherOfEtc

And this. I had debated just doing a shoot today then writing another day.

#HopefullyTomorrowWeWillBeGoingAwayAndIWillHaveToDoWithoutMyLightingKitForNearly3Weeks

I’m sure I’ll manage, it just ruins the look of the project a little bit but oh well. It might mix it up in a good way…

#IHadLookedAtGettingSomethingThatWouldSuitButIAmNotEarningMuchAtTheMomentSoItFeltQuiteFrivolous

And researching/reading reviews takes up so much time.

#AnywaysYesterdayWeWentToBirminghamAirportToDoOurFitToFlyPCRTests

We had looked at other options, but they’d sold out. I think I mentioned it in my last entry/post (I still don’t know what to call these).

#WeWentForTheDriveThroughOptionWhichWasGoodAsBSleptTheWholeTimeEvenWhenALoudPlaneTookOff

Having to park and go through a walk in felt like more hassle. Especially as we did not know what time B would wake up in the morning (5:15am for the record) and if we would disturb her napping (she fell asleep before we got to the airport).

She did briefly open her eyes just after we started to move again, she sleepily smiled at me then went back to sleep. When we got home she stayed in the car for an hour continuing to nap…

#IWarnedTheWomanThatIAmJustGettingOverMyMorningSicknessButItWasFineAndLessUncomfortableThanWhenIDoAFlowTestMyself #IJustStartedToWinceOnTheLastFewSecondsOfTheTenSecondsNostrilTwisting

I thought that I had better warn her in case I made some weird noises or something. She said she would go slow and I could take a break whenever I wanted but it was fine. I was glad that I got a woman, but it seemed like policy which was good (Tiago got a guy).

#WeAreDueToGetOurResultsByTenTonightThoughTheySaidItMayTake48HoursFromTheTestWhichIsTomorrowMorning #ByThatPointWeWillBePackedAndHeadingToLondonSoIReallyHopeTheTestsAreNegative

It is so stressful. I don’t see why people are bothering to go abroad to places where you need to test loads if you are just going for a week and not visiting family… I need to look at booking day 2 and day 8 tests for when I get back. Tiago only needs to do day 2, and B doesn’t need to do them. Phew.

#IFeltALotMoreHappyAndRelaxedOnceTheTestsWereDoneAsThatWasABigStressToOrganiseAndAtThisPointThereIsNotMuchWeCanDoApartFromWaitForTheResults #ThoughIFeltLessRelaxedOnceIRealisedThatWeWillBeTestedOnArrivalTooSoWeHaveToHopeWeDoNotPickItUpBetweenTests

It’d be bloody typical…

#ItShouldBeFineExceptForYesterdayIChattedToALotOfPeopleInThePark

Typically I often go to the park and hope to talk to people and I talk to no one. Yesterday was our chattiest day in a longgg time, if ever.

#ISawACoupleWhoWeSeeAllTheTimeAndChattedToThemForTheFirstTimeWhichWasNiceButTypicallyItIsJustAsWeAreGoingAway

I think I have mentioned them before (I hope it doesn’t get to the point where they might read this blog and find it awkward – hello if so).

Their kid is the same age as B and we have seen them around since we moved here. It was nice to finally chat. We always say we should say hello to them, but after a while it feels like too late to say hello. I took B to the swings though and they were next to us, so I felt like I should ‘go for it’. They’re so nice, and we chatted for ages. B was getting restless, so I thought I should take her home for dinner and a run around.

#AndThenISpokeToAWomanWithADogWhoWeAlsoSeeAllTheTimeButHaveNeverSpokenMuchTo

Once I was sat with B on a picnic blanket and the dog just came and sat next to her randomly. We spoke briefly then, but that was monthsss ago I think.

#BWasAtFirstYellingOrFrustratedlyTalkingToHerDogAndThenSheWasYellingAtASquirrel

I feel bad as I keep saying she is yelling, but she is probably just talking loudly and gets frustrated as they never come closer to her and/or talk back…

#IHaveNoticedThatSheTalksToAllAnimalsApartFromGeeseWhichIsFairEnoughAsTheyAreScary

At first I put evil instead of scary, but thought I might offend geese lovers. They just get quite defensive and hiss a lot. My parents used to have geese and once one bit my foot (luckily I was wearing steel toe capped boots, but still). I have been weary of them since…

#TheWomanCameByAndISaidThatBOnlyLikesToTalkToAnimalsAndThenWeSpokeForAges

She was smiling and I was in a good mood from talking to the couple. We spoke about lots of things from when she gave birth husbands were not allowed in the hospital at all, to anti-vaxxers. She’s also lovely.

#AndThenWeSawAnotherWomanWithADogWhoWeUsuallySeeAboutOnceAMonthNowButByThatPointBWasFedUpAndGotScaredByHerDogBarking

Last time we saw them it was early in the morning. We caught them this time as they came out early and we were late from chatting to so many people. I had to pick B up as she was scared by his barking. He’s a very friendly dog though.

#BLikesToStareALotNowAndTheOtherDayATeenagerYelledAtHerSayingWhatAreYouStaringAt

I was pushing B across the grass and she was sat on the standing board just chilling and looking at the world. I saw her looking at them and I looked briefly and smiled at them.

#IThinkHimYellingJustMadeBStareMoreAndHisFriendSaidToHimWhatAreYouDoingWhichIsGood

Maybe he was yelling at me, but I doubt it as B was having a good long look. So awkward. Glad his friend told him off as he was probably just showing off, but it did make me feel uncomfortable. I just didn’t look or say anything. Then a guy commented that B was staring a lot, but he was being friendly and was with his kids.

#BWokeUpAt6ThisMorningThoughMeAndTiagoWereAwakeAtHerUsualTimeAndWorryingIfSheWasAliveAsSheWasSoQuiet

Yesterday she was trying to get my Nan’s salt shaker off her tall table and I think it may have hit her on the head, so I was keeping an eye on her because of that.

#IDoNotKnowWhySheSleptLateAsInTheParkSheWasEitherInTheSwingOrHerPushchairButMaybeTheBiryaniSheHadForDinnerFilledHerUpOrSheJustWasNotTeethingAt5ForOnce

She wasn’t running around a lot, unless it was from all the listening? Maybe dinner was filling (she didn’t eat any yoghurt before bed like she usually does), or maybe it was down to teething. She never seems to stop teething, so maybe it did for a little bit and so she slept better. Who knows?

#LastNightIWokeUpAndBoltedAcrossTheRoomAsInMyDreamBWasAboutToFallOffTheKitchenCounter

Lol. There is no kitchen counter in our room. Tiago just said ‘are you alright?’ as my urgency woke him up. Classic.

#BMakesMeLaughAsYesterdayNanWasPickingCrumbsUpOffTheFloorWhileBSatNextToHerPlayingWithTheVelcroOnNansShoes

She is funny. She must like the sound. Today she realised she could make a sound on the cupboard with her fingers.

#IHaveMyMidwifeAppointmentTodayAtLunchSoHopefullyThatWillAllGoOkay

I have left myself four hashtags to write about it. Fun times.

#WeirdlyTheMidwifeAndIThoughtWeRecognisedEachOtherButIDoNotThinkWeHaveEverMetBefore

I was thinking I recognised her (even with her mask on) and then she said that she thought she had met me before. I’ve only had a couple of appointments though and they weren’t with her. I’ve recently moved GP surgery and it is better as I will have more of my appointments there rather than random centres, and I like her.

#SheWasAlsoLovelyAndIsAboutAWeekMorePregnantThanMeWhichIsCoolButAlsoAnnoyingAsIWantHerAsMyMidwife

Happy for her, but it’s typical. She said from her 30 weeks she might have to just work from home due to shielding, but she said we’ll see what the rules are. In Liverpool, my midwife was due to take sick leave but then she didn’t – but in the end she wasn’t my midwife as I didn’t have a homebirth. My midwife today said I could have a homebirth if I wanted, but I said it’s probably not very polite as we live at my Nan’s place.

#AtMyLastAppointmentTheySaidTheyMayOrMayNotListenForAHeartbeatAsItIsUsuallyTooEarly #ButSheTriedAndItWasReassuringToHearItAndSheSaidIfIEverWantToCheckItToJustSendHerAMessage

I know in Liverpool they were a bit weird about it. I guess it freaks people out if they don’t hear it, but the midwife today said that if it’s not good news then you wouldn’t hear much at all. The baby was hiding behind my placenta, but she could hear it moving and my placenta was being noisy. She kept trying to get a clearer sound for me, but I said as long as she was happy that all was good then it was fine with me.

Some reassuring news before our possible holiday. Fingers crossed.

15 weeks pregnant with B comparison:

Self-portrait wearing a black and white stripy dress. I am looking at the camera and have my left thumb touching my lips, and the rest of my fingers closing my left eye.
Maternity Clothes (15 and a half weeks)
 
#SoMyFirstMaternityClothesHaveArrived
#IDidNotWantToCurseThingsByBuyingThemTooEarly
#ButIDefinitelyNeededNewBras
#IAmTryingOutTheClipsThatYouUseSoYouCanFeed
#ItIsStartingToGetEasier
#ButIDoNotWantToPracticeTooMuch
#InCaseIBreakThatFunctionBeforeIActuallyNeedThem
#IHaveStartedToEditMyProjectDownNowSoIDoNotHaveToDoItLaterOn
#IHaveToPickMyFavouriteImageFromAllThePreviousShoots
#AndThenIMightTryDrawingOnThem
#ToHelpWithMyAnxietyAndWorries
#IDoDefinitelyHaveABumpNow
#ThoughIThinkDuringTheDayMostOfItIsDueToFood
#IHaveStartedToDoYogaOrPilatesOrStretchingInTheMorningAndEveningNow
#IHaveGotIntoAGoodHabitOfDoingItInTheMorning
#ButTheLastCoupleOfDaysIHaveBeenDoingItInTheEveningTooAsIFeelLikeINeedIt
#AndIAmStartingToGetPelvicPainNow
#AtLeastISeemToHaveMoreEnergyTheseDays
#IStillFeelABitSickButIAmNotBeingSick
#TheClosestIGetToBeingSickAtTheMomentIsWheneverIBrushMyTeeth
#IHaveTriedAllDifferentToothpastesButMyBodyHatesIt
#ITryToThinkOfDoughnutsAndUnicorns
#ApparentlyInWeek16TheBabyWillBeTheSizeOfADoughnut
#SoIMightGetOneToCelebrateAsIHaveBeenThinkingAboutThemForWeeks
#WheneverIAmSomewhereThatSellsThemINeverWantThemThough
#ApartFromMaybeThoseVansThatSellDinkieDoughnutsOrWhateverTheyAreCalledTheseDays
#AnywaysThisIsMyFirstMaternityDress
#IHateShoppingButISawItAndLikedItWhichIsRareSoIThoughtIShouldGetIt
#IAmBoredOfPregnancyAdsNow
#IWantToSeeOtherThings
#AFewYearsAgoWhenIUsedToGetPregnancyTestAdsOnYouTubeIWasSurprisedThatAGuyInMyImprovClassGotAdvertsForTomatoSoup

Well, coincidentally I have my left hand touching my face and one eye closed.

I have been wearing this dress since B was born, and I have been wearing it a lot lately. I haven’t bought any maternity clothes this time, but I have been given a maternity jumper.

I ended up not wearing the clip bras much, and ended up wearing the ones that you just move the bra with your hands. I’ve been wearing them lately anyways as they’re so comfy.

I never ended up drawing on the pictures, but I have got a lot quicker at editing. I usually edit the shoot on the day of the shoot or the day after now.

I feel like I haven’t had any pelvic pain yet with this pregnancy, but I have been doing pregnancy stretches in the morning and evening since getting a positive test this time which I think has helped.

I tried to distract myself more this time than think about doughnuts and unicorns when I feel sick – the thought of doughnuts is making me hungry. There are some jam doughnuts in the kitchen actually, but I’m not a fan.

I feel like I haven’t had too many pregnancy ads this time, but I am also making an effort to not accept all cookies on sites anymore. I could eat a cookie or five.


Thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying my blog (and/or the work I make) please consider supporting me by ‘buying me a coffee’ on Ko-fi – thanks!

Categories
Pregnancy Waiting II

Portrait Of A Mother Of A Twelve Month Old (7 Weeks? / 15th June 2021)

Self-portrait sat on the floor with legs crossed. I have a hat on that says 1 on it, and I am holding the camera of a video monitor in my right hand.
Portrait Of A Mother Of A Twelve Month Old (7 Weeks? / 15th June 2021)

#ICannotAndCanBelieveThatBIsOneYearOldItHasGoneFastInSomeWaysAndVerySlowInOtherWays
#IWroteAPoemToCelebrateHerBirthdayButItIsQuiteRubbish
#HerNewTrickIsToGargleAllHerWater
#WeTookHerOutForLunchAndSheJustSatThereGargling
#WeWentToAWildlifeParkButIThinkTiagoAndIEnjoyedItMoreThoughItWasALotForHerToTakeIn
#TiagoIsBackAtWorkNowSoINeedToAdjustToNotBeingAbleToGoOffForNapsAllTheTime
#PoorTiagoIsMoreTiredThanBeforeHeHadHisWeekOffSoIFeelBadAboutThat
#IFeelKnackeredNowAndHopeIHaveTimeForAQuickLieDownAfterThis
#WeHaveStartedToGiveBGoatsMilkInsteadOfFormulaThoughWeWillChangeToCowsMilkSoon
#TodayWasTheFirstDayOfNotGivingHerFormulaWhenSheWokeUpAndIHadToGetOnWithBreakfastPrettyQuick
#MakingFoodJustMakesMeWantToVomitButINeedToEatAsOtherwiseIFeelMoreSick
#IAmSoBoredOfFeelingSickAlready
#IWasSickForTheFirstTimeTheOtherDayButIAmTryingToAvoidItAsIHateItSoMuch
#IWasHalfWayThroughMakingBsLunchOmeletteWhenIHadToRunOut
#TiagoCameToAskTheInstructionsToFinishItInbetweenMyGags
#ItIsEitherFeelHorribleAndBeSickOrFeelSickAndEatEvenThoughIDoNotFeelLikeItAndThenFeelBetter
#IMadeBABatchOfRatatouilleThisMorningAndItReallyMadeMeFeelIllDoingIt
#EatingBeigeFoodsGenerallyMakeMeFeelBetter
#IHaveBeenGettingALotOfCravingsForReallyVinegaryChipsAndMushyPeas
#LastNightBeforeGoingToBedICouldHaveEatenACheeseAndRedOnionWhiteBap
#ReallyWateredDownJuiceSeemsToBeANewThingThatIDesire
#IDoNotLikeEatingLateButIThinkIAmGoingToHaveToOtherwiseIWillProbablyStartBeingSickInTheEvenings
#WhyArePregnantPeoplePunishedByFeelingSickAllOfTheTime
#IAmNowSayingThatIAmSevenWeeksNowAsIDoThinkItIsMoreLikelyButIJustWantToBeFurtherAlongAlready
#TiagosLaptopScreenThatBBrokeAMonthAgoSuddenlyStartedToWorkAgainSoThatIsGood
#ThisPostIsSupposedToBeAboutBTurningOneButItIsMostlyAboutMyMorningSicknessAndTiredness
#InThePictureIHopeToImitatePhotosOfBThatITookToCelebrateHerBirthday
#IGotHerAHatThatSays1OnItThoughTheySentMeOneThatSaid3OnItAtFirst
#TheOnlyThingThatWouldDistractHerWasHerBabyMonitor
#AndSheWoreAOnePieceSoIWillWearTheOneIHaveStartedToWearAgainAsIKnowIWillNotGetMuchUseOutOfItThisSummer

#ICannotAndCanBelieveThatBIsOneYearOldItHasGoneFastInSomeWaysAndVerySlowInOtherWays

My little baby who could not support her own head is now one. What. A. Year.

#IWroteAPoemToCelebrateHerBirthdayButItIsQuiteRubbish

This post was initially just going to be a poem as of course it only has 30 lines, but I did not put it into hashtag form.

Here it is for the lolz:

B You Are One!

Oh what a year, oh what a ride,

But I am so grateful to have you by my side.

This poem is already cheesy and a bit cliché,

But I thought I should write something to celebrate your first birthday.

You were born during a pandemic in the year 2020,

We stayed in hospital for four days and I ate butternut squash curry aplenty.

Your Pai was relieved to see you arrive home,

Together is better than seeing us through the small screen of our phones.

You spent your first four months in Liverpool and saw lots of the river,

Nothing much was open so all we could do was walk and dither.

Then we moved to Birmingham to live with your Great Nan,

You like lots of books but a current favourite is This Old Man.

Here you’ve learned how to crawl, babble and eat,

I think soon you’ll be walking as you’re finding your feet.

You can say Dad and duck; you do like to go to the pond,

We’re trying to work out if you’ll be a brunette or blonde.

At your baby classes you like to wander and explore,

You bang your foot in time to music on the wood of the floor.

I like when you enjoy something and so clap your hands,

We hope soon you’ll get to visit friends in far distant lands.

Maybe we’ll get to go to Portugal and meet your family there,

When you sit on the swings you like to watch people and stare.

We look forward to seeing you develop and grow,

We’re learning a lot, there’s a lot we don’t know.

We still don’t know much about what parents should do,

But we’re making the effort to find out just for you.

We’re glad you’re here, you’ll always be our little B,

We love you so much and plan to do so permanently.

Here’s to your first birthday, what a year it has been,

You’re our baby, our bunny, you’re our little queen.

The End

(23rd August: I’d completely forgotten that I wrote a poem for B….)

#HerNewTrickIsToGargleAllHerWater

Great. Take a gulp. Gargle. Take a gulp. Gargle. And repeat until the whole cup is empty.

I think she has just woken up from her nap. Fail. I had the heating on as I thought she may be cold. I’ve just put it on again. I thought that I’d been putting it on in the morning, but apparently I haven’t been. I need to try that again as she keeps waking up at 5.40am and it’s too early… She seems asleep for now.

#WeTookHerOutForLunchAndSheJustSatThereGargling

Luckily two women by us found it funny. It is funny, but it’s a bit much after 20 goes of it. I guess she is clever for working it out though…

#WeWentToAWildlifeParkButIThinkTiagoAndIEnjoyedItMoreThoughItWasALotForHerToTakeIn

Most of the animals were hiding or napping, so I don’t think B saw most of them. We only got a photo of her looking at a komodo dragon.

#TiagoIsBackAtWorkNowSoINeedToAdjustToNotBeingAbleToGoOffForNapsAllTheTime

Boo hoo hoo hoo hoo. How will I cope with two kids? Though at least I won’t be feeling sick all the time. I think/hope the first trimester is the worst.

#PoorTiagoIsMoreTiredThanBeforeHeHadHisWeekOffSoIFeelBadAboutThat

🙁

#IFeelKnackeredNowAndHopeIHaveTimeForAQuickLieDownAfterThis

If B stays asleep… It’s looking unlikely.

#WeHaveStartedToGiveBGoatsMilkInsteadOfFormulaThoughWeWillChangeToCowsMilkSoon

I did some more reading about goats milk and I think we should just move to cows milk when her carton is over. Plus just having cows milk will be easier as we can use it with all her cooking.

She seemed unsure of the milk, but now I just make sure to warm it up a little bit. I gave her 100ml before she had this nap and she probably drank 80/90 of it, so that’s good. Yesterday she didn’t drink much, but it probably didn’t help that we gave her formula in the morning. Apparently it’s sweeter?

#TodayWasTheFirstDayOfNotGivingHerFormulaWhenSheWokeUpAndIHadToGetOnWithBreakfastPrettyQuick

She was upset and I thought maybe she was hungry. She got up at 5.40am. She had some water. She had breakfast at 7am.

#MakingFoodJustMakesMeWantToVomitButINeedToEatAsOtherwiseIFeelMoreSick

I make a tomato and egg omelette/scrambled egg thing for myself with garlic powder, pepper and oregano then bung it between two pieces of buttered toast. I just have to eat it slowly. I make it for myself after B’s porridge has been pancaked and the pan is still hot. Boring info.

#IAmSoBoredOfFeelingSickAlready

Boredd.

#IWasSickForTheFirstTimeTheOtherDayButIAmTryingToAvoidItAsIHateItSoMuch #IWasHalfWayThroughMakingBsLunchOmeletteWhenIHadToRunOut

I have days where I just feel sick all day. I have started a Puke Portraits II project, but I hope to just keep it to a very small number of images. I also can’t be bothered to spend the time writing hashtags and editing the images.

#TiagoCameToAskTheInstructionsToFinishItInbetweenMyGags

Lovely.

#ItIsEitherFeelHorribleAndBeSickOrFeelSickAndEatEvenThoughIDoNotFeelLikeItAndThenFeelBetter

A friend was saying the other day that when you usually feel sick you don’t want to eat and you don’t, but with pregnancy sickness you have to eat. Yep.

#IMadeBABatchOfRatatouilleThisMorningAndItReallyMadeMeFeelIllDoingIt

I was supposed to do it yesterday but Tiago was busy and I didn’t look for the passata well enough, and I felt too sick to make it so I didn’t bother trying much harder.

#EatingBeigeFoodsGenerallyMakeMeFeelBetter

Nan got some crumpets. Great. Mini cheddars seem like a good option at the moment. Crisps in general. I’m trying to eat more nuts…

#IHaveBeenGettingALotOfCravingsForReallyVinegaryChipsAndMushyPeas

Writing this and reading this makes me want them again.

#LastNightBeforeGoingToBedICouldHaveEatenACheeseAndRedOnionWhiteBap

Not feeling that so much now. My Nan bought some baps and made a cheese and tomato one before dinner yesterday. I could eat one of those now…

#ReallyWateredDownJuiceSeemsToBeANewThingThatIDesire

Water with a hint of something. Going to try elderflower cordial, though I probably should have asked for some ginger cordial instead…

#IDoNotLikeEatingLateButIThinkIAmGoingToHaveToOtherwiseIWillProbablyStartBeingSickInTheEvenings

Piece of toast before bed? Probably a good idea.

#WhyArePregnantPeoplePunishedByFeelingSickAllOfTheTime

Whoever/whatever invented pregnancy symptoms is a sod. Aren’t we punished enough with periods and menopause? Then we don’t get periods, which is nice, but then we have to deal with sickness. Sod. To those who don’t get morning sickness – you’re lucky!

#IAmNowSayingThatIAmSevenWeeksNowAsIDoThinkItIsMoreLikelyButIJustWantToBeFurtherAlongAlready

I just want to be clear of the first trimester already, and I want to get my jab. (I know I can get it already, but I do want to wait until 14 weeks like some countries suggest/are doing.)

#TiagosLaptopScreenThatBBrokeAMonthAgoSuddenlyStartedToWorkAgainSoThatIsGood

He came in showing me his laptop all excited. I was like ‘yeah the Google logo has always looked like that?’ Ahhh okay.

#ThisPostIsSupposedToBeAboutBTurningOneButItIsMostlyAboutMyMorningSicknessAndTiredness

Sorry love. I should have just made this post the poem and left my sickness until later in the week. I’m starting to feel a bit sick again now…

#InThePictureIHopeToImitatePhotosOfBThatITookToCelebrateHerBirthday

One hat. All in one outfit. Holding a video monitor. Looking quite serious.

(23rd August: I seemed to achieve it.)

#IGotHerAHatThatSays1OnItThoughTheySentMeOneThatSaid3OnItAtFirst

Well that will keep. Let’s see if I can find it in 2 years.

#TheOnlyThingThatWouldDistractHerWasHerBabyMonitor

We tried all the toys. T was getting frustrated. She liked the baby monitor and her room thermometer – things we don’t usually let her play with. I managed to move the thermometer out of the frame though.

#AndSheWoreAOnePieceSoIWillWearTheOneIHaveStartedToWearAgainAsIKnowIWillNotGetMuchUseOutOfItThisSummer

I suddenly remembered about it yesterday. I don’t remember wearing it last summer, and if things go to plan I doubt I will be fitting in it for much longer.

I’m going to eat some mini cheddars, then have a lie down…

7 weeks pregnant with B comparison:

A diptych of two full length images of me with my top pulled up to document my bump. In one I
I Have Nothing To Show Yet (7 weeks)
 
#ItIsColdNowSoIAmWearingExtraLayers
#IHaveNothingToShowYet
#OrMaybeIDoButIAmSureIHaveLookedTheSameAsThisEveryTimeIHaveEatenForManyYears
#IHaveLookedMorePregnantBeforeAfterOrderingAnIndianTakeawayAndNotBeingAbleToStop
#AtChristmas2018MyParentsThoughtIWasPregnantAsIWasWearingBaggyClothing
#AndIChooseComfortOverFashion
#YouKnowMe
#ThoughIWouldNotMindLookingALittleBetter
#IJustHateClothesShopping
#AndNowIsNotTheTimeToStartGettingIntoClothesMore
#BecauseTheyEitherWillNotFitMeForLongOrTheyWillNotFitMeAfter
#AGoodReasonForBaggierClothingThisWinterThoughIsToHideMyGrowingBoobs
#IToldAFriendThatIAmPregnantAndSheSaidSheThoughtMyBoobsLookedBiggerAndThisWasTwoWeeksAgo
#IHaveAlwaysHadAWeirdRelationshipWithThem
#BeingToldInHighSchoolThatIWasTwoParacetamolsOnAnIroningBoard
#AndBeingUpsetButAlsoNotCaringAsIWasLikeBoobsAreJustForBabiesAnyways
#AndTheIdeaOfMeWithBiggerBoobsWasJustWeird
#BeingToldByGuysThatTheyUsuallyDateGirlsWithBiggerBoobs
#Lol 
#ButIThinkBoobsBringAttentionAndIDoLikeToBeInvisible
#IReallyCanNotImagineMySelfHavingBigBoobs
#AndGoingOutWithThemOnDisplay
#NoOffenceToOtherPeopleWhoShowTheirsOff
#TheyLookGoodOnYouButTheyLookWeirdAsHellOnMe
#ThisPostHasTooManyBoobs
#NotSureIfIPreferBoobsOrBreasts
#BreastsJustSoundsLikeMeatRightNowAndThatIsMakingMeFeelSickEvenThoughIHadMeatCravingsYesterdayAndIAmVegetarian
#IThinkHowIFeelTowardsMyBodyDuringAndAfterMyPregnancyWillBeInteresting
#ParticularlyAsPregnantIsSeenAsBeautifulAndMyBodyGrowingIsForAGoodThingButThenAsSoonAsYouGiveBirthThereIsALotOfPressureToBeAsYouWereAgain
#IJustWantToLookAfterMyselfAndBodyAsBestAsICan 

B and baby X will be born in complete opposite seasons. In this diptych I am cold, but in my new photo I was quite hot.

I still look a mess all the time, so nothing has changed there. I feel like my boobs didn’t grow as quick this time, which I was kind of relieved about. They’re probably different from breastfeeding, but I can’t really tell.

I think my bump started to show a bit earlier this time, but it also may be just down to food. I seem to have a habit of doing shoots just after eating which doesn’t help.

I need to start eating better and exercising more again. I feel like over the last week I’ve let myself (and X) down a bit on that front. I’m trying my best…


Thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying my blog (and/or the work I make) please consider supporting me by ‘buying me a coffee’ on Ko-fi – thanks!

Categories
Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Portrait Of A Mother Of An Eleven Month Old (15th May 2021)

A headshot with me looking at the camera, with my hair up and wearing a black and white striped top with a slight neck.
Portrait Of A Mother Of An Eleven Month Old (15th May 2021)
 
#ICanNotBelieveThatBIsNearlyAYearOld
#WhatAWeirdYearItHasBeen
#ITookThisPhotoAsSoonAsIGotOutOfBed
#IProbablyShouldHaveTakenItHalfAnHourEarlierButIWasWaitingForTiagoToGetBUpAsSheWasMakingNoise
#AndTiagoWasWaitingForMeToGetHerUpAsHeHadWokenUpAt4
#IShouldHaveJustGotUpAndDoneTheShootThenGotHerUpButSheIsWithTiagoNowWhileIDoSomeWork
#YesterdayTiagoTookHerToTheSupermarketByHimselfForTheFirstTime
#IUsuallyJoinToGetOltOfTheHouseWithHerButItMadeSenseForThemToGoAlone
#ItWasAlsoTheFirstTimeThatTheyHadBeenAloneInTheCarWhichIsWeirdAsSheIs11MonthsOld
#TiagoSaidHeEnjoyedPushingHerAroundAndTalkingToHer
#IThinkABigMistakeWeMadeWasNotGettingAPushchairWhereSheCanFaceUsButOhWell
#IAmRecoveringAlrightAfterHavingAToothOut
#IHaveBeenSuperTiredButMaybeItIsDownToNotExercisingSoMuch
#IHaveNotReallyExercisedInAFewWeeksAndMyOutdoorClassHasOnlyHappenedOnceDueToBadWeather
#PortugalHasBeenOnTheNewsALotWhenTalkingAboutSummerHolidays
#WhatHappensHappensAndWeWillJustHaveToSee
#IsItWeirdThatBIsNearlyAYearOldAndIStillFindItWeirdThatIHaveAKidAtTimes
#YesterdayIFellDownAnInternetHoleAndWasReadingAThreadAboutPeopleRegrettingTheyHadKids
#IDoNotRegretThatWeHadBAndThoughIFindItWeirdThatIAmAMotherICanNotImagineMyLifeWithoutHerNow
#ItWasMainlyPeopleSayingHowTiredTheyAreAndIGetIt
#WeWouldLikeToHaveAnotherChildAtSomePointButIDoWorryAboutHavingLessTimeForMyOwnStuff
#TheFurtherThatBGetsAwayFromTheSuperDependentBabyPhaseTheLessIWantToGoBackThere
#NowSheIsFeedingHerselfQuiteWellWhenWeGiveHerFoodWhereItIsDoable
#AndSheSitsAndAmusesHerselfMoreWhichIsNiceThoughIFeelBadIfSheDoesItForTooLong
#ButItGoodToBeAbleToMakeHerFoodWhileSheJustPlaysAndCrawlsAbout
#IWorryThatIAmABadEnoughMotherOfOneLetAloneAddingAnotherChildIntoTheMix
#IGuessWeWillJustSeeWhatHappensAndIfItHappensThenThingsWillNeedToChange
#InACoupleOfDaysMoreThingsWillReopenSoItWillBeGoodToExploreSomeDifferentPlaces
#IThinkTheWeatherIsMeantToBeQuiteRubbishForTheRestOfTheMonth
#IDefinitelyNeedToGetBetterAtEntertainingBIndoorsAtHome

#ICanNotBelieveThatBIsNearlyAYearOld

It probably has felt like a lot more than 11 months at times. It’s weird thinking back to how different she was 11 months ago…

#WhatAWeirdYearItHasBeen

I know I say it a lot, but I do wonder how things would be now if there hadn’t been a pandemic but there is no point thinking about it too much. It’s just been a very odd year.

#ITookThisPhotoAsSoonAsIGotOutOfBed

I was going for a ‘I’m very tired’ vibe.

#IProbablyShouldHaveTakenItHalfAnHourEarlierButIWasWaitingForTiagoToGetBUpAsSheWasMakingNoise

There was a lot of us looking at the clock then putting our heads back down.

#AndTiagoWasWaitingForMeToGetHerUpAsHeHadWokenUpAt4

He usually gets her up and I was going to offer, but I wanted to do this shoot and I had got in into my head that I was going to do it today – so I did not want to wait for tomorrow.

#IShouldHaveJustGotUpAndDoneTheShootThenGotHerUpButSheIsWithTiagoNowWhileIDoSomeWork

This would have made sense, but it’s 7:45am and I’ve done my hashtags and I’m doing this blog. I want to get it done so I can tackle the rest of my to do list. I seem to work best in the morning as I know Tiago will not want to do work now, and I keep working until I start to faff.

#YesterdayTiagoTookHerToTheSupermarketByHimselfForTheFirstTime

It doesn’t sound like a big deal, but it seemed like it (for me anyways).

#IUsuallyJoinToGetOutOfTheHouseWithHerButItMadeSenseForThemToGoAlone

I think supermarkets still don’t like more people going than necessary, and it made it different for Tiago.

#ItWasAlsoTheFirstTimeThatTheyHadBeenAloneInTheCarWhichIsWeirdAsSheIs11MonthsOld

I felt bad not being there to amuse B – we need to get one of those mirrors so B and T can see each other easily. I was more worried that she would fall asleep on the way home and then not go to bed easily. She keeps waking up half an hour after she’s gone to bed. Not sure what that is about.

#TiagoSaidHeEnjoyedPushingHerAroundAndTalkingToHer

I think the supermarket is good stimulation for B too with all the things to look at.

#IThinkABigMistakeWeMadeWasNotGettingAPushchairWhereSheCanFaceUsButOhWell

I think she is used to looking out when I push her around but it is hard to talk to her like that. That’s what you get for not being able to try out pushchairs during a pandemic…

#IAmRecoveringAlrightAfterHavingAToothOut

I can’t help but mess with the gap a lot. It feels massive.

#IHaveBeenSuperTiredButMaybeItIsDownToNotExercisingSoMuch

It is probably from a combination of many things – mothering Monday to Friday, trying to get lots of other stuff done when I can, recovering from having a tooth out and not exercising enough.

#IHaveNotReallyExercisedInAFewWeeksAndMyOutdoorClassHasOnlyHappenedOnceDueToBadWeather

My enthusiasm for the class is gone, so I don’t think I’ll be going back. I will stretch after I finish this post though – I can feel my back starting to ache.

#PortugalHasBeenOnTheNewsALotWhenTalkingAboutSummerHolidays

I think from Monday the doors will be open to Brits, but it can change and change again a million times before we go.

#WhatHappensHappensAndWeWillJustHaveToSee

Tiago says there is no point stressing about it. We’ll just have to prepare as best as we can and see what happens.

#IsItWeirdThatBIsNearlyAYearOldAndIStillFindItWeirdThatIHaveAKidAtTimes

It’s getting less weird, but it is bizarre.

#YesterdayIFellDownAnInternetHoleAndWasReadingAThreadAboutPeopleRegrettingTheyHadKids

Great. I haven’t been on Reddit in ages, and I won’t be going there again as I should have napped but instead I got sucked in to that thread and one about ruined weddings, and people who quit their jobs on the first day. Super productive stuff I know.

#IDoNotRegretThatWeHadBAndThoughIFindItWeirdThatIAmAMotherICanNotImagineMyLifeWithoutHerNow

It is weird thinking of life before her.

(5th July 2021: I said the same thing to Tiago yesterday.)

#ItWasMainlyPeopleSayingHowTiredTheyAreAndIGetIt

It is tiring, but it is rewarding. I don’t want to wish time away, but I am looking forward to her being older too.

#WeWouldLikeToHaveAnotherChildAtSomePointButIDoWorryAboutHavingLessTimeForMyOwnStuff

I think I’d just have to accept that I may not be able to do as much for a couple of years or so. I’m sure I’d find a way to do something though.

#TheFurtherThatBGetsAwayFromTheSuperDependentBabyPhaseTheLessIWantToGoBackThere

There was a 3 week old baby at B’s class the other day and it was weird thinking that B used to be that size. It’s amazing how much they change in a year. The early early days where they sleep 5 times a day isn’t so bad, and I hope that breastfeeding would be easier but looking after two kids must be a lot more tiring.

#NowSheIsFeedingHerselfQuiteWellWhenWeGiveHerFoodWhereItIsDoable

I need to look at more meals where she can feed herself, but we have a lot of frozen meals where you need a spoon really and B isn’t getting the hang of that yet.

#AndSheSitsAndAmusesHerselfMoreWhichIsNiceThoughIFeelBadIfSheDoesItForTooLong

She is obsessed with balloons at the moment. I am reading to her more which is nice.

#ButItGoodToBeAbleToMakeHerFoodWhileSheJustPlaysAndCrawlsAbout

Once or twice a week I make muffins and I usually do them in the morning when I am tired. We are all fans of those muffins – I usually put 3 blueberries on top though.

#IWorryThatIAmABadEnoughMotherOfOneLetAloneAddingAnotherChildIntoTheMix

I am just doing my best and I guess that is all I can do.

#IGuessWeWillJustSeeWhatHappensAndIfItHappensThenThingsWillNeedToChange

Let’s see.

#InACoupleOfDaysMoreThingsWillReopenSoItWillBeGoodToExploreSomeDifferentPlaces

Indoor play places! It will be good for B, and good for me. I hope that we’ll meet some more people too.

#IThinkTheWeatherIsMeantToBeQuiteRubbishForTheRestOfTheMonth

Great.

#IDefinitelyNeedToGetBetterAtEntertainingBIndoorsAtHome

The TV is on way too much for my liking, but I do like Bluey a lot. With better weather and more things reopening we can get out more which will make me feel better and B will probably enjoy it too so let’s see.


Thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying my blog (and/or the work I make) please consider supporting me by ‘buying me a coffee’ on Ko-fi – thanks!

Categories
Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Portrait Of A Mother Of A Ten Month Old (14th April 2021)

Portrait Of A Mother Of A Ten Month Old (14th April 2021)
 
#TheLastFewDaysHaveFeltLikeHowTheLast10MonthsShouldHaveBeen
#MeetingUpWithFriendsAndTheirKidsAndBumpingIntoABabyFriendInTheParkAndGoingToAClass
#SheGotMudOnHerSuitForTheFirstTimeInTheParkAsSheCrawledAboutWithABaby
#SheLikesToTryToEatEverythingAndIAmTryingToBeOkayWithLettingHerEatSomeDirt
#IHadToGetATwigOutOfHerMouthAndThenIThoughtSheWasTryingToEatAnotherOne
#HoweverItWasACigaretteButtWhichIsObviouslyNotGreat
#IMadeAJokeAboutItBeingTooEarlyForHerToStartAndThenICringed
#MySocialSkillsAreReallyTerribleButIAmNoLongerGoingToBeatMyselfUpForIt
#IfPeopleLikeMeThenTheyLikeMeAndIfTheyDoNotThenIAmNotGoingToDwellOnIt
#BJustLooksSoHappySeeingOtherBabiesAndYoungKidsThatIReallyHopeTheRulesDoNotGetStricterAgain
#IPutBInAnOutfitForHerClassInsteadOfHerUsualOnesies
#ItWasProbablyOnlyTheThirdTimeThatSheHasBeenInAnOutfit
#TAndIBothThoughtThatSheDidNotLookLikeOurBaby
#IPlannedToGetThereEarlyButOfCourseIEndedUpRunningUpAHillWithAPushchair
#BJustLovedLookingAroundAtEveryoneAndSmilingAtAllTheBabies
#OfCourseSheDidNotWantToStayOnTheMatAndIHadToKeepGrabbingHerBack
#TheLastTimeSheWasAtThatClassSheWasATotallyDifferentBaby
#IDoFeelLikeWeHaveMissedOutOnALotButIJustWantToMakeSureWeHaveAReallyGreatSummerNow
#AtTheEndSheWasWavingAtEveryoneWithBothHandsAndTheWholeClassWentAww
#IDidFeelProud
#ISatUsInTheShadeToGiveBHerMilkAndOfCourseTheSunWentAwayStraightAway
#ItWasTheFirstTimeIHadFedHerFormulaInThePark
#ItTookHerAWhileToFallAsleepInHerPushchairButSheEventuallyDid
#AfterMonthsOfHavingAQuiteStrictScheduleIAmTryingToBeChillAboutAdaptingAndBeingFlexible
#TheOtherDayIGaveHerSomeLunchInTheParkWhichWasTheFirstTimeIHadDoneThatToo
#IAmTryingToBePreparedForSpontaneousMomentsWhichSoundsWeird
#JustHavingSnacksWithUsAndAPicnicBlanketAndToysInCaseTheWeatherIsSurprisinglyGood
#ItFeltWeirdToPackABagForBYesterdayWithAnythingSheMightNeedLikeNappiesAndAChangeOfClothes
#WeHaveNotReallyBeenOutFarOrLongEnoughForItToBeNecessary
#SometimesICatchMyselfAlreadyDreadingNextWinterButFingersCrossedWeWillNotHaveToGoThroughAllThatAgain

#TheLastFewDaysHaveFeltLikeHowTheLast10MonthsShouldHaveBeen

I can not believe that she is 10 months old. I say this every month and I will probably never stop saying it.

#MeetingUpWithFriendsAndTheirKidsAndBumpingIntoABabyFriendInTheParkAndGoingToAClass

Normal things that people used to do on the regular!

#SheGotMudOnHerSuitForTheFirstTimeInTheParkAsSheCrawledAboutWithABaby

I did feel proud. It took her a while to get the hang of crawling in it and then she was off.

#SheLikesToTryToEatEverythingAndIAmTryingToBeOkayWithLettingHerEatSomeDirt

Especially with not really seeing anyone as she hasn’t been to exposed to as many bugs as babies usually are.

#IHadToGetATwigOutOfHerMouthAndThenIThoughtSheWasTryingToEatAnotherOne

At first I was just being a bit too casual about it, but then I thought I should get it out of her mouth. I thought she’d swallowed it but she’d done a good job of hiding it.

#HoweverItWasACigaretteButtWhichIsObviouslyNotGreat

She turned her head and wouldn’t let me get it out. Grim.

#IMadeAJokeAboutItBeingTooEarlyForHerToStartAndThenICringed

‘It’s too early for you to start. Well, I hope you never start.’ *cringe*

#MySocialSkillsAreReallyTerribleButIAmNoLongerGoingToBeatMyselfUpForIt

I just need to try to work on my social skills. Need to stop having verbal diarrhoea. Need to learn how to spell diarrhoea right enough that spellcheck even knows what word I’m looking for. Need to just listen to people.

#IfPeopleLikeMeThenTheyLikeMeAndIfTheyDoNotThenIAmNotGoingToDwellOnIt

Oh, I’ll probably keep dwelling on it but it’s a waste of my energy. So here’s to trying!

#BJustLooksSoHappySeeingOtherBabiesAndYoungKidsThatIReallyHopeTheRulesDoNotGetStricterAgain

I’m getting a bit emotional. It’s so lovely to see her smiling at people and babies, even if they do try to put their fingers up her nose (babies not adults). I’m glad she doesn’t seem nervous or scared around others at the playground or in classes, though she does play shy sometimes.

#IPutBInAnOutfitForHerClassInsteadOfHerUsualOnesies

Outfit as in separate top and bottoms.

#ItWasProbablyOnlyTheThirdTimeThatSheHasBeenInAnOutfit

I think once for a baby class where I actually managed to find time to change her beforehand, once for pictures for my Dad (both before Xmas) and this class.

#TAndIBothThoughtThatSheDidNotLookLikeOurBaby

Outfits are annoying. I love onesies – they make it so easy to change her nappy and apply cream. After Tiago had changed her for bed we were like ‘yes that’s our baby!’

#IPlannedToGetThereEarlyButOfCourseIEndedUpRunningUpAHillWithAPushchair

Kate Bush’s Running Up That Hill keeps coming to mind, though I don’t think the song is actually about being late for baby classes. The class is not long after B’s lunchtime so I need to be more on it next week!

#BJustLovedLookingAroundAtEveryoneAndSmilingAtAllTheBabies

All the heart emojis. I think she enjoyed seeing people more than doing the class, though it was probably the same for me too.

B was generally sat facing everyone but occasionally she’d look back at me and my masked face. I think as she is older she recognises me more in it now.

#OfCourseSheDidNotWantToStayOnTheMatAndIHadToKeepGrabbingHerBack

In non-Covid times it would not be such an issue. Le sigh. I was joking that she hadn’t been trained for classes. *cringe*

#TheLastTimeSheWasAtThatClassSheWasATotallyDifferentBaby

She really didn’t do much, though it feels like a lifetime ago.

#IDoFeelLikeWeHaveMissedOutOnALotButIJustWantToMakeSureWeHaveAReallyGreatSummerNow

Everyone has obviously missed out on so much. These months waiting for classes to resume have been hard, but our big countdown is finally over.

#AtTheEndSheWasWavingAtEveryoneWithBothHandsAndTheWholeClassWentAww

We were singing a goodbye song and she was double waving.

#IDidFeelProud

It was cute. Again I’m getting emotional. I was so worried about the class and though she kept squirming away it was good.

#ISatUsInTheShadeToGiveBHerMilkAndOfCourseTheSunWentAwayStraightAway

We sat in a really awkward place as only awkward spots tend to have shade.

#ItWasTheFirstTimeIHadFedHerFormulaInThePark

Milestone. I am looking forward to her no longer having it in a couple of months though as it’s one less thing to think about, though I guess it will need to be replaced with something else.

#ItTookHerAWhileToFallAsleepInHerPushchairButSheEventuallyDid

I made the mistake of doing a lap around the park, I should have just walked towards home where the paving slabs are more uneven as I think it helps send her to sleep. It was weird noticing the surface of the paths again as I haven’t thought about it for a while – I don’t remember the last time B had a nap in her pushchair, possibly it was after the same class last year!

#AfterMonthsOfHavingAQuiteStrictScheduleIAmTryingToBeChillAboutAdaptingAndBeingFlexible

I haven’t had much to break/get in the way of her routine, so it’s quite sad that I see it as a challenge.

#TheOtherDayIGaveHerSomeLunchInTheParkWhichWasTheFirstTimeIHadDoneThatToo

I didn’t know if we’d be out long enough, but we were. She didn’t sleep well that night so I worried maybe it was due to that, but she had good meals yesterday and she woke up a couple of times. I think it’s probably because she’s teething?

#IAmTryingToBePreparedForSpontaneousMomentsWhichSoundsWeird

Just being prepared for staying out later or the weather suddenly improving, things like that.

#JustHavingSnacksWithUsAndAPicnicBlanketAndToysInCaseTheWeatherIsSurprisinglyGood

Being prepared for anything the day might throw at us. Well, to an extent. We’re never that far from home so we don’t need too much. Maybe later in the summer we can really go wild!

#ItFeltWeirdToPackABagForBYesterdayWithAnythingSheMightNeedLikeNappiesAndAChangeOfClothes

So weird. I was wondering why my back was aching a bit yesterday and it probably was from running up a hill while pushing a pushchair and having a backpack on. Again, wild!

#WeHaveNotReallyBeenOutFarOrLongEnoughForItToBeNecessary

I am scared of longer and further journeys but we can do it – if things have good timings. We will adapt I’m sure.

#SometimesICatchMyselfAlreadyDreadingNextWinterButFingersCrossedWeWillNotHaveToGoThroughAllThatAgain

I need to enjoy Spring and Summer, and even Autumn can be nice, before I get worried about Winter again. Hopefully there will be playgroups and things. Maybe I’ll have a job where B can be in nursery a bit. We’ll have to see.


Thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying my blog (and/or the work I make) please consider supporting me by ‘buying me a coffee’ on Ko-fi – thanks!

Categories
Oh Me, Oh Mãe

First Mother’s Day / Portrait Of A Mother Of A 9 Month Old (14th March 2021)

First Mother’s Day / Portrait Of A Mother Of A 9 Month Old (14th March 2021)
 
#TiagoGotHisFirstFathersDayWhenBWasOnlyAroundAWeekOld
#IHaveHadToWaitPatientlyFor9MonthsToGetMyFirstParentsDay
#TiagoGetsReallyStressedOutAboutWhatToDoForOccasionsButHeMadeANiceCardWithALotOfTextInsideThatHeSaidBToldHimToWrite
#HeWasOnAboutGettingMeRollerBladesButMaybeItIsNotTheBestTimeToStartBreakingSomeBones
#BsSkinLookedAlmostBackToNormalAndThenItStartedToGetBadAgain
#IThinkWeWillBeDealingWithItForAWhileButIGuessAtLeastWeKnowWhatWorksNow
#IHaveBeenFeelingALotBetterThisWeekThoughIAmNotReallySureWhy
#IThinkIHaveBeenSoBusyAndIKnowThingsAreChangingSoIAmFeelingMorePositive
#IWhineSoMuchInThisProjectWhichIsAwkwardButIDoLoveBeingAMother
#SeeingBGrowingAndChangingWeekToWeekIsSoRewarding
#ButNothingCanPrepareYouForThisMassiveLifeShift
#IAmFeelingMoreRelaxedWithBsMealTimesNowThatISetA30MinuteLimit
#IfSheIsHungryThenSheWillEatItSuperFast
#IfSheIsNotEatingThenAfter10MinutesIWillTrySomethingElseLikeMixingInHerDessertWhichIsUsuallyYoghurtAndFruit
#SheHasMilkBeforeHerSecondNapNowSoEvenIfSheDoesNotEatSheUsuallyDrinksWell
#TheOtherDayIStartedToSingThatTikTokSeaShantyToHerAndSheStartedToLaughSoThatWasTheSongOfTheDay
#IHadToLookUpTheLyricsAsIRealisedThatIHadBeenMakingThemUp
#MyClowningAndImprovTrainingIsDefinitelyComingInHandyForEntertainingB
#IDoLoveToMakeHerLaugh
#WhateverMakesHerLaughIJustKeepDoingItAndAmplifyingItUntilSheIsLaughedOut
#SheCanSuddenlyPlayWithToysThatSheCouldNotHoldBeforeAndIsInterestedInALotMoreThings
#SheHasStartedToOpenDrawersSoWeNeedToDoSomeMoreBabyProofing
#WeAreTryingToTeachHerToWaveWhichSheDoesSometimesButOtherTimesSheJustClaps
#IFeelLikeIShouldReallyBeLearningMoreAboutBabySignLanguageNow
#WhenWeDoOnlineBabyClassesIReallyLikeLearningTheSignsForSongs
#IAmAlsoFindingItEasierToTalkToHerNow
#IUsuallyJustKeepSayingCanYouSayThisOrThisAndSheDoesNotButSheWillOneDay
#OrIAmLikeLookAtThisToyCarrotItIsOrangeAndGreenAndItIsAVegetable
#TheMurderOfSarahEverardHasGotMeThinkingALotAboutAwkwardAndHorribleExperiencesInMyPast
#IHopeThatThingsWillBeDifferentForBAsSheGrowsUpButWeWillHaveToWaitAndSee

I was planning for this ‘entry’ to be Portrait Of A Mother Of A 9 Month Old, but then I realised Mother’s Day was coming up so I thought I would leave it until today. I haven’t done a shoot yet, but I fancy doing one with B so hopefully we’ll do one when she wakes up from her nap.

(6th April: Well I did the shoot and it involves one of my favourite themes of making myself not look very nice. I say that I’m not going to show B’s face, but this one shows her mouth and a bit of her nose. I was going to edit it, but it seemed a bit unnecessary.

I guess I do not want to show her whole face (well I posted a photo of B wearing her jaundice machine mask when I announced her birth anyways), and I particularly don’t want to show her eyes (which were covered in that photo). I feel like I should write more about this but I’m too tired. A topic for the future?)

#TiagoGotHisFirstFathersDayWhenBWasOnlyAroundAWeekOld

And here is the entry about that. Portugal has their Father’s Day on the 19th March every year, so that’s in 5 days time.

#IHaveHadToWaitPatientlyFor9MonthsToGetMyFirstParentsDay

It looks like Mother’s Day in Portugal is the first Sunday in May. Weird that Mother’s Day moves around but Father’s Day is the same date every year? I guess Portuguese Father’s Day might mean more to Tiago?

#TiagoGetsReallyStressedOutAboutWhatToDoForOccasionsButHeMadeANiceCardWithALotOfTextInsideThatHeSaidBToldHimToWrite

Bless him. He gets super stressed then keeps talking about it as the day approaches. It’s a commercial holiday that I am not really that bothered about, but I guess it just feels somewhat momentous as it is my first. I much prefer a hand-drawn card with a nice personal message to anything else, plus as it’s the weekend he has given me plenty of time to do my work which means more to me.

#HeWasOnAboutGettingMeRollerBladesButMaybeItIsNotTheBestTimeToStartBreakingSomeBones

When we lived in Liverpool people on skateboards and roller blades/skates would constantly go past us. I used to love roller blading – I remember going round my neighbour’s garage to Gina G a lot – and going to roller discos. I was never good on hills though. Just nice flat terrain for me please. I’d be too embarrassed to go out on them by myself…

#BsSkinLookedAlmostBackToNormalAndThenItStartedToGetBadAgain #IThinkWeWillBeDealingWithItForAWhileButIGuessAtLeastWeKnowWhatWorksNow

It’s a rollercoaster. Basically we can’t be lazy. We have some hydrocortisone cream that we apply twice a day when it’s bad, but her skin go to the point where we couldn’t even see where it needed to be applied. Now it is creeping back, so we need to keep an eye on it. We also use Dermol 500 which is super easy to apply and her skin seemed to get much better when we started to apply that every hour or two the other day. Then we have Zerobase which is a heavier ointment that we use before she goes to bed, and once or twice during the day.

(I hope this may be of use for someone, but I know different things work for different people. These are all things that B has been prescribed.)

#IHaveBeenFeelingALotBetterThisWeekThoughIAmNotReallySureWhy

I generally feel better at the weekend.

#IThinkIHaveBeenSoBusyAndIKnowThingsAreChangingSoIAmFeelingMorePositive

I have a temporary part time job coming up and I’m excited to get out of the house more. Yesterday we bumped into a woman and her baby who we met the other week, so I am hoping soon we will know more people.

#IWhineSoMuchInThisProjectWhichIsAwkwardButIDoLoveBeingAMother

I worry that B will see this work when she is older and think I hated raising her. I don’t.

#SeeingBGrowingAndChangingWeekToWeekIsSoRewarding

She changes so fast. I guess I did not really know how she would be at 9 months, but she seems to be doing more than I thought she would?

#ButNothingCanPrepareYouForThisMassiveLifeShift

I never really stayed in bed until late, but I definitely wasn’t waking up between 6 and 7 every day. You just get used to it and adjust your bedtime I guess, but that is the biggest shock I think really. We could let her lie in, but then she’ll probably go to bed later and I like having free time in the evening. Plus now she is often awake before 7 (when we’d like to get up) so that wouldn’t work.

#IAmFeelingMoreRelaxedWithBsMealTimesNowThatISetA30MinuteLimit

I thought I had mentioned this in previous hashtags, but maybe I didn’t? Well at meals now I give her 30 minutes to eat as otherwise we can sit there for an hour with me getting stressed.

#IfSheIsHungryThenSheWillEatItSuperFast

Breakfast is usually 15 minutes.

#IfSheIsNotEatingThenAfter10MinutesIWillTrySomethingElseLikeMixingInHerDessertWhichIsUsuallyYoghurtAndFruit

Yesterday she wasn’t eating dinner, but then I started to give her a bit of yoghurt with mango and she got eating so then I mixed it all together and she ate 90% of it. Great.

#SheHasMilkBeforeHerSecondNapNowSoEvenIfSheDoesNotEatSheUsuallyDrinksWell

Maybe I talked about this before, I’m not sure. Before she was just having milk when she woke up and before she went to bed, but on my sister’s suggestion we now give her milk then. It makes me feel not so stressed about her maybe not eating so much lunch.

#TheOtherDayIStartedToSingThatTikTokSeaShantyToHerAndSheStartedToLaughSoThatWasTheSongOfTheDay

This song. I’ve sung it so many times that I’m getting better at hitting a lower note at the end of the chorus. I’m not sure why she likes it, but she claps. I kept making videos of her doing stuff, then I’d start to sing it and she’d look at me.

#IHadToLookUpTheLyricsAsIRealisedThatIHadBeenMakingThemUp

Apparently it’s not about a weatherman, but a wellerman (which is the name of the song.)

#MyClowningAndImprovTrainingIsDefinitelyComingInHandyForEntertainingB

When we (Tiago and me, as B was not born yet) lived in London I used to do a lot of improv classes and courses, and I did a couple of clowning courses too. I started a stand-up comedy course but we moved to Liverpool before I finished it. It is something that I would like to revisit at some point.

#IDoLoveToMakeHerLaugh

I love to make anyone laugh, but the sound of babies laughing is one of the best in the world.

#WhateverMakesHerLaughIJustKeepDoingItAndAmplifyingItUntilSheIsLaughedOut

It’s great training. I’ve thought that maybe I should be a children’s entertainer? It seems less scary than making adults laugh.

#SheCanSuddenlyPlayWithToysThatSheCouldNotHoldBeforeAndIsInterestedInALotMoreThings

I love digging out a toy that she did not look at twice when she last saw it, but now she can really interact with it. I think I feel happier too as she can entertain herself a bit better now and is happy as long as you’re sat next to her. Tiago likes to lie on the floor while B crawls over him and chills next to him playing with her toys.

#SheHasStartedToOpenDrawersSoWeNeedToDoSomeMoreBabyProofing

Anything that she shouldn’t play with she obviously loves. My Nan has a trolley that looks a bit like a tea cart. She loves to stick her fingers in the wheels…

#WeAreTryingToTeachHerToWaveWhichSheDoesSometimesButOtherTimesSheJustClaps

She’s young. She’s got time. One moment she will really get it and switch between clapping and waving, and then she’ll just clap. The YouTube baby classes that we do talk about clapping more than they do waving, so it’s fair enough.

#IFeelLikeIShouldReallyBeLearningMoreAboutBabySignLanguageNow

I did look for a local class but one was too far away really and there was a waiting list, so I’ll just look for more online videos.

Here are a few.

#WhenWeDoOnlineBabyClassesIReallyLikeLearningTheSignsForSongs

I feel like I am learning something and using my brain, which feels quite nice. It’s a good memory test.

#IAmAlsoFindingItEasierToTalkToHerNow #IUsuallyJustKeepSayingCanYouSayThisOrThisAndSheDoesNotButSheWillOneDay #OrIAmLikeLookAtThisToyCarrotItIsOrangeAndGreenAndItIsAVegetable

I’ve said a lot in the past that I do not know what to say to B all day. I guess I have been overthinking it a lot. I can just keep it simple. ‘Say hi’ say hello etc.’ and then just talking about the colours of things and pointing things out to her etc.

#TheMurderOfSarahEverardHasGotMeThinkingALotAboutAwkwardAndHorribleExperiencesInMyPast

This feels quite randomly slot into the bottom. I originally wanted to say more about it, but yesterday I ended up writing a blog post about it all instead. I feel a bit awkward about it, but I ended up spending a lot of my free time in the morning on it so I thought I should share it.

#IHopeThatThingsWillBeDifferentForBAsSheGrowsUpButWeWillHaveToWaitAndSee

Fingers crossed. I want her to grow up feeling more confident than I ever did, and her to feel able to call out/tell someone/report when something is not right, or something bad has happened.


Thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying my blog (and/or the work I make) please consider supporting me by ‘buying me a coffee’ on Ko-fi – thanks!