Categories
Pregnancy Waiting II

Portrait Of A Mother Of A Twelve Month Old (7 Weeks? / 15th June 2021)

Self-portrait sat on the floor with legs crossed. I have a hat on that says 1 on it, and I am holding the camera of a video monitor in my right hand.
Portrait Of A Mother Of A Twelve Month Old (7 Weeks? / 15th June 2021)

#ICannotAndCanBelieveThatBIsOneYearOldItHasGoneFastInSomeWaysAndVerySlowInOtherWays
#IWroteAPoemToCelebrateHerBirthdayButItIsQuiteRubbish
#HerNewTrickIsToGargleAllHerWater
#WeTookHerOutForLunchAndSheJustSatThereGargling
#WeWentToAWildlifeParkButIThinkTiagoAndIEnjoyedItMoreThoughItWasALotForHerToTakeIn
#TiagoIsBackAtWorkNowSoINeedToAdjustToNotBeingAbleToGoOffForNapsAllTheTime
#PoorTiagoIsMoreTiredThanBeforeHeHadHisWeekOffSoIFeelBadAboutThat
#IFeelKnackeredNowAndHopeIHaveTimeForAQuickLieDownAfterThis
#WeHaveStartedToGiveBGoatsMilkInsteadOfFormulaThoughWeWillChangeToCowsMilkSoon
#TodayWasTheFirstDayOfNotGivingHerFormulaWhenSheWokeUpAndIHadToGetOnWithBreakfastPrettyQuick
#MakingFoodJustMakesMeWantToVomitButINeedToEatAsOtherwiseIFeelMoreSick
#IAmSoBoredOfFeelingSickAlready
#IWasSickForTheFirstTimeTheOtherDayButIAmTryingToAvoidItAsIHateItSoMuch
#IWasHalfWayThroughMakingBsLunchOmeletteWhenIHadToRunOut
#TiagoCameToAskTheInstructionsToFinishItInbetweenMyGags
#ItIsEitherFeelHorribleAndBeSickOrFeelSickAndEatEvenThoughIDoNotFeelLikeItAndThenFeelBetter
#IMadeBABatchOfRatatouilleThisMorningAndItReallyMadeMeFeelIllDoingIt
#EatingBeigeFoodsGenerallyMakeMeFeelBetter
#IHaveBeenGettingALotOfCravingsForReallyVinegaryChipsAndMushyPeas
#LastNightBeforeGoingToBedICouldHaveEatenACheeseAndRedOnionWhiteBap
#ReallyWateredDownJuiceSeemsToBeANewThingThatIDesire
#IDoNotLikeEatingLateButIThinkIAmGoingToHaveToOtherwiseIWillProbablyStartBeingSickInTheEvenings
#WhyArePregnantPeoplePunishedByFeelingSickAllOfTheTime
#IAmNowSayingThatIAmSevenWeeksNowAsIDoThinkItIsMoreLikelyButIJustWantToBeFurtherAlongAlready
#TiagosLaptopScreenThatBBrokeAMonthAgoSuddenlyStartedToWorkAgainSoThatIsGood
#ThisPostIsSupposedToBeAboutBTurningOneButItIsMostlyAboutMyMorningSicknessAndTiredness
#InThePictureIHopeToImitatePhotosOfBThatITookToCelebrateHerBirthday
#IGotHerAHatThatSays1OnItThoughTheySentMeOneThatSaid3OnItAtFirst
#TheOnlyThingThatWouldDistractHerWasHerBabyMonitor
#AndSheWoreAOnePieceSoIWillWearTheOneIHaveStartedToWearAgainAsIKnowIWillNotGetMuchUseOutOfItThisSummer

#ICannotAndCanBelieveThatBIsOneYearOldItHasGoneFastInSomeWaysAndVerySlowInOtherWays

My little baby who could not support her own head is now one. What. A. Year.

#IWroteAPoemToCelebrateHerBirthdayButItIsQuiteRubbish

This post was initially just going to be a poem as of course it only has 30 lines, but I did not put it into hashtag form.

Here it is for the lolz:

B You Are One!

Oh what a year, oh what a ride,

But I am so grateful to have you by my side.

This poem is already cheesy and a bit cliché,

But I thought I should write something to celebrate your first birthday.

You were born during a pandemic in the year 2020,

We stayed in hospital for four days and I ate butternut squash curry aplenty.

Your Pai was relieved to see you arrive home,

Together is better than seeing us through the small screen of our phones.

You spent your first four months in Liverpool and saw lots of the river,

Nothing much was open so all we could do was walk and dither.

Then we moved to Birmingham to live with your Great Nan,

You like lots of books but a current favourite is This Old Man.

Here you’ve learned how to crawl, babble and eat,

I think soon you’ll be walking as you’re finding your feet.

You can say Dad and duck; you do like to go to the pond,

We’re trying to work out if you’ll be a brunette or blonde.

At your baby classes you like to wander and explore,

You bang your foot in time to music on the wood of the floor.

I like when you enjoy something and so clap your hands,

We hope soon you’ll get to visit friends in far distant lands.

Maybe we’ll get to go to Portugal and meet your family there,

When you sit on the swings you like to watch people and stare.

We look forward to seeing you develop and grow,

We’re learning a lot, there’s a lot we don’t know.

We still don’t know much about what parents should do,

But we’re making the effort to find out just for you.

We’re glad you’re here, you’ll always be our little B,

We love you so much and plan to do so permanently.

Here’s to your first birthday, what a year it has been,

You’re our baby, our bunny, you’re our little queen.

The End

(23rd August: I’d completely forgotten that I wrote a poem for B….)

#HerNewTrickIsToGargleAllHerWater

Great. Take a gulp. Gargle. Take a gulp. Gargle. And repeat until the whole cup is empty.

I think she has just woken up from her nap. Fail. I had the heating on as I thought she may be cold. I’ve just put it on again. I thought that I’d been putting it on in the morning, but apparently I haven’t been. I need to try that again as she keeps waking up at 5.40am and it’s too early… She seems asleep for now.

#WeTookHerOutForLunchAndSheJustSatThereGargling

Luckily two women by us found it funny. It is funny, but it’s a bit much after 20 goes of it. I guess she is clever for working it out though…

#WeWentToAWildlifeParkButIThinkTiagoAndIEnjoyedItMoreThoughItWasALotForHerToTakeIn

Most of the animals were hiding or napping, so I don’t think B saw most of them. We only got a photo of her looking at a komodo dragon.

#TiagoIsBackAtWorkNowSoINeedToAdjustToNotBeingAbleToGoOffForNapsAllTheTime

Boo hoo hoo hoo hoo. How will I cope with two kids? Though at least I won’t be feeling sick all the time. I think/hope the first trimester is the worst.

#PoorTiagoIsMoreTiredThanBeforeHeHadHisWeekOffSoIFeelBadAboutThat

🙁

#IFeelKnackeredNowAndHopeIHaveTimeForAQuickLieDownAfterThis

If B stays asleep… It’s looking unlikely.

#WeHaveStartedToGiveBGoatsMilkInsteadOfFormulaThoughWeWillChangeToCowsMilkSoon

I did some more reading about goats milk and I think we should just move to cows milk when her carton is over. Plus just having cows milk will be easier as we can use it with all her cooking.

She seemed unsure of the milk, but now I just make sure to warm it up a little bit. I gave her 100ml before she had this nap and she probably drank 80/90 of it, so that’s good. Yesterday she didn’t drink much, but it probably didn’t help that we gave her formula in the morning. Apparently it’s sweeter?

#TodayWasTheFirstDayOfNotGivingHerFormulaWhenSheWokeUpAndIHadToGetOnWithBreakfastPrettyQuick

She was upset and I thought maybe she was hungry. She got up at 5.40am. She had some water. She had breakfast at 7am.

#MakingFoodJustMakesMeWantToVomitButINeedToEatAsOtherwiseIFeelMoreSick

I make a tomato and egg omelette/scrambled egg thing for myself with garlic powder, pepper and oregano then bung it between two pieces of buttered toast. I just have to eat it slowly. I make it for myself after B’s porridge has been pancaked and the pan is still hot. Boring info.

#IAmSoBoredOfFeelingSickAlready

Boredd.

#IWasSickForTheFirstTimeTheOtherDayButIAmTryingToAvoidItAsIHateItSoMuch #IWasHalfWayThroughMakingBsLunchOmeletteWhenIHadToRunOut

I have days where I just feel sick all day. I have started a Puke Portraits II project, but I hope to just keep it to a very small number of images. I also can’t be bothered to spend the time writing hashtags and editing the images.

#TiagoCameToAskTheInstructionsToFinishItInbetweenMyGags

Lovely.

#ItIsEitherFeelHorribleAndBeSickOrFeelSickAndEatEvenThoughIDoNotFeelLikeItAndThenFeelBetter

A friend was saying the other day that when you usually feel sick you don’t want to eat and you don’t, but with pregnancy sickness you have to eat. Yep.

#IMadeBABatchOfRatatouilleThisMorningAndItReallyMadeMeFeelIllDoingIt

I was supposed to do it yesterday but Tiago was busy and I didn’t look for the passata well enough, and I felt too sick to make it so I didn’t bother trying much harder.

#EatingBeigeFoodsGenerallyMakeMeFeelBetter

Nan got some crumpets. Great. Mini cheddars seem like a good option at the moment. Crisps in general. I’m trying to eat more nuts…

#IHaveBeenGettingALotOfCravingsForReallyVinegaryChipsAndMushyPeas

Writing this and reading this makes me want them again.

#LastNightBeforeGoingToBedICouldHaveEatenACheeseAndRedOnionWhiteBap

Not feeling that so much now. My Nan bought some baps and made a cheese and tomato one before dinner yesterday. I could eat one of those now…

#ReallyWateredDownJuiceSeemsToBeANewThingThatIDesire

Water with a hint of something. Going to try elderflower cordial, though I probably should have asked for some ginger cordial instead…

#IDoNotLikeEatingLateButIThinkIAmGoingToHaveToOtherwiseIWillProbablyStartBeingSickInTheEvenings

Piece of toast before bed? Probably a good idea.

#WhyArePregnantPeoplePunishedByFeelingSickAllOfTheTime

Whoever/whatever invented pregnancy symptoms is a sod. Aren’t we punished enough with periods and menopause? Then we don’t get periods, which is nice, but then we have to deal with sickness. Sod. To those who don’t get morning sickness – you’re lucky!

#IAmNowSayingThatIAmSevenWeeksNowAsIDoThinkItIsMoreLikelyButIJustWantToBeFurtherAlongAlready

I just want to be clear of the first trimester already, and I want to get my jab. (I know I can get it already, but I do want to wait until 14 weeks like some countries suggest/are doing.)

#TiagosLaptopScreenThatBBrokeAMonthAgoSuddenlyStartedToWorkAgainSoThatIsGood

He came in showing me his laptop all excited. I was like ‘yeah the Google logo has always looked like that?’ Ahhh okay.

#ThisPostIsSupposedToBeAboutBTurningOneButItIsMostlyAboutMyMorningSicknessAndTiredness

Sorry love. I should have just made this post the poem and left my sickness until later in the week. I’m starting to feel a bit sick again now…

#InThePictureIHopeToImitatePhotosOfBThatITookToCelebrateHerBirthday

One hat. All in one outfit. Holding a video monitor. Looking quite serious.

(23rd August: I seemed to achieve it.)

#IGotHerAHatThatSays1OnItThoughTheySentMeOneThatSaid3OnItAtFirst

Well that will keep. Let’s see if I can find it in 2 years.

#TheOnlyThingThatWouldDistractHerWasHerBabyMonitor

We tried all the toys. T was getting frustrated. She liked the baby monitor and her room thermometer – things we don’t usually let her play with. I managed to move the thermometer out of the frame though.

#AndSheWoreAOnePieceSoIWillWearTheOneIHaveStartedToWearAgainAsIKnowIWillNotGetMuchUseOutOfItThisSummer

I suddenly remembered about it yesterday. I don’t remember wearing it last summer, and if things go to plan I doubt I will be fitting in it for much longer.

I’m going to eat some mini cheddars, then have a lie down…

7 weeks pregnant with B comparison:

A diptych of two full length images of me with my top pulled up to document my bump. In one I
I Have Nothing To Show Yet (7 weeks)
 
#ItIsColdNowSoIAmWearingExtraLayers
#IHaveNothingToShowYet
#OrMaybeIDoButIAmSureIHaveLookedTheSameAsThisEveryTimeIHaveEatenForManyYears
#IHaveLookedMorePregnantBeforeAfterOrderingAnIndianTakeawayAndNotBeingAbleToStop
#AtChristmas2018MyParentsThoughtIWasPregnantAsIWasWearingBaggyClothing
#AndIChooseComfortOverFashion
#YouKnowMe
#ThoughIWouldNotMindLookingALittleBetter
#IJustHateClothesShopping
#AndNowIsNotTheTimeToStartGettingIntoClothesMore
#BecauseTheyEitherWillNotFitMeForLongOrTheyWillNotFitMeAfter
#AGoodReasonForBaggierClothingThisWinterThoughIsToHideMyGrowingBoobs
#IToldAFriendThatIAmPregnantAndSheSaidSheThoughtMyBoobsLookedBiggerAndThisWasTwoWeeksAgo
#IHaveAlwaysHadAWeirdRelationshipWithThem
#BeingToldInHighSchoolThatIWasTwoParacetamolsOnAnIroningBoard
#AndBeingUpsetButAlsoNotCaringAsIWasLikeBoobsAreJustForBabiesAnyways
#AndTheIdeaOfMeWithBiggerBoobsWasJustWeird
#BeingToldByGuysThatTheyUsuallyDateGirlsWithBiggerBoobs
#Lol 
#ButIThinkBoobsBringAttentionAndIDoLikeToBeInvisible
#IReallyCanNotImagineMySelfHavingBigBoobs
#AndGoingOutWithThemOnDisplay
#NoOffenceToOtherPeopleWhoShowTheirsOff
#TheyLookGoodOnYouButTheyLookWeirdAsHellOnMe
#ThisPostHasTooManyBoobs
#NotSureIfIPreferBoobsOrBreasts
#BreastsJustSoundsLikeMeatRightNowAndThatIsMakingMeFeelSickEvenThoughIHadMeatCravingsYesterdayAndIAmVegetarian
#IThinkHowIFeelTowardsMyBodyDuringAndAfterMyPregnancyWillBeInteresting
#ParticularlyAsPregnantIsSeenAsBeautifulAndMyBodyGrowingIsForAGoodThingButThenAsSoonAsYouGiveBirthThereIsALotOfPressureToBeAsYouWereAgain
#IJustWantToLookAfterMyselfAndBodyAsBestAsICan 

B and baby X will be born in complete opposite seasons. In this diptych I am cold, but in my new photo I was quite hot.

I still look a mess all the time, so nothing has changed there. I feel like my boobs didn’t grow as quick this time, which I was kind of relieved about. They’re probably different from breastfeeding, but I can’t really tell.

I think my bump started to show a bit earlier this time, but it also may be just down to food. I seem to have a habit of doing shoots just after eating which doesn’t help.

I need to start eating better and exercising more again. I feel like over the last week I’ve let myself (and X) down a bit on that front. I’m trying my best…


Thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying my blog (and/or the work I make) please consider supporting me by ‘buying me a coffee’ on Ko-fi – thanks!