Categories
Pregnancy Waiting II

General Documenting Pregnancy Shoot III (19 Weeks / 7th September 2021)

I'm kneeling on the floor in my bra and leggings. I am holding my arms behind my back. My bump is slightly bigger than similar photos I've taken before.
General Documenting Pregnancy Shoot III (19 Weeks / 7th September 2021)
 
#WeAreNowBackAtHomeSoICanFinallyDoTheThirdVersionOfThisPhoto
#IWouldHaveLikedToHaveDoneItSoonerAsTheGapBetweenTheOtherTwoWasFourWeeksAndNowThereIsASixWeekGap
#OhWellBetterLateThanNever
#ItWasNiceToBeAwayButItIsAlsoReallyGoodToBeHomeAndHaveAllOurStuff
#YesterdayIWasLikeANewWomanCookingAndCleaningLoads
#IThinkIAmDefinitelyNestingButWeWereAlsoTakingLivingWithMyNanForGrantedAndItIsNiceToBeBack
#IThinkIHaveAlreadyUsedUpALotOfMyEnergyAsThisMorningIAmJustSuperTired
#AtLeastIDoNotHaveToQuarantineButItIsSoHotThatIDoNotReallyWantToLeaveTheHouseAnyways
#TheDayBeforeLeavingWeWereSatInABankRunningErrandsAndIThinkIFeltTheBabyKick
#ItMightPossiblyHaveBeenBraxtonHicksButIDefinitelyFeelMoreThingsHappeningWithinMyBumpNow
#NowWhenIAskBForAKissSheOffersMeHerForeheadOrHeadbuttsMe
#TiagoSaidHisMumWasTeachingBHowToHeadbutLikeABullAsThereAreALotOfBullsOnTheIsland
#TravellingBackCouldHaveBeenWorseButItCouldHaveAlsoBeenBetterToo
#TheFirstPlaneWasFineAsTheAirportIsChillAndBHadHadLunchBeforeWeGotToTheAirportAndItWasAShortFlight
#ThenWeHadThreeHoursBetweenFlightsAndBWasStartingToGetSleepySoWeTookItInTurnsPushingHerUpAndDownTheAirportAndSheEventuallyHadANap
#CheckInStartedLateAndWeWereStoodInAQueueForAboutAnHour
#AFamilyInFrontOfUsWithATwoYearOldWereToldThatTheAirlineNoLongerAcceptedResultsFromTheCompanyTheyUsedAndWereNotAllowedToBoard
#WeTriedToHelpThemButThereWasNothingWeCouldDoAndAsCheckInWasSoLateTheyDidNotHaveTimeToGetNewTests
#BHasDefinitelyChangedAsSheWasNotSoBotheredByAllThePeopleAndSpentALotOfTheFlightWanderingUpAndDownTheAisle
#SheWasAlsoStealingWaterBottlesAsKidsDoNotWantFancyToysTheyWantToPlayWithAnythingAndEverythingElseInstead
#SheLikesToDanceUsingHerHandsButIThinkSheDoesAlsoWaveNowAsWellSoSheWasDancingOrWavingAtEveryone
#TheLightsWereOnHighOnTheFlightTheWholeWaySoBDidNotSleepAndWeLandedAtAboutElevenThirty
#TheFamilyQueueWasMassiveSoItTookAnHourToGetThrough
#TheTaxisWereSuperExpensiveAndWeHadJustMissedTheLastTrainSoWeHadToGetACoachInstead
#YouCouldSeeEveryoneInTheQueueThinkingErghNotABabyOnTheCoachButSheSleptTheWholeTime
#WeGotToMySistersPlaceAtTwoThirtyInTheMorningAndLuckilyBWentStraightToSleep
#ItWasNiceForHerToPlayWithHerCousinAndWeWentOutForLunch
#ApparentlySomeRestaurantsDoNotHaveMoreThanOneHighChairSoWeFinallyGotEnoughSeatsInTheThirdPlaceWeTried
#BDidNotLikeHerPlateOfEggFriedRiceSoIHadToGoAndBuyHerSomeFoodFromASupermarket
#WeAreTryingGivingHerDinnerLaterAndPuttingHerToBedLaterButLetsSeeIfSheCanKeepWakingUpAtAMoreRespectableHour
 

#WeAreNowBackAtHomeSoICanFinallyDoTheThirdVersionOfThisPhoto

Version 1 / Version 2.

#IWouldHaveLikedToHaveDoneItSoonerAsTheGapBetweenTheOtherTwoWasFourWeeksAndNowThereIsASixWeekGap #OhWellBetterLateThanNever

It is what it is. I’ll do the shoot when B wakes up from her nap and my Mum looks after her for an hour or so.

#ItWasNiceToBeAwayButItIsAlsoReallyGoodToBeHomeAndHaveAllOurStuff

Tiago’s parents’ house is a lot of stone and rock, so I didn’t feel like we had a safe place to play. Plus we didn’t take many books and toys.

#YesterdayIWasLikeANewWomanCookingAndCleaningLoads

I also don’t get on well with their kitchen and I missed having a routine with washing clothes etc. Simple stuff that shows I’m getting older.

#IThinkIAmDefinitelyNestingButWeWereAlsoTakingLivingWithMyNanForGrantedAndItIsNiceToBeBack

I did not want the suitcases hanging around for ages, so I washed what needed to be washed and put most of it away. Tiago just needs to sort out his mountain of clothes. The floor is covered in B’s toys, but there is no point tidying as she will be messing with them again in a bit. It’s good to see Nan too – though B was a bit weird with her for a day as I think she could not really remember her?

#IThinkIHaveAlreadyUsedUpALotOfMyEnergyAsThisMorningIAmJustSuperTired

I guess I also knew that today was a day for getting work done for me. Yesterday I let myself have an easy day – I also did a lot of what I needed to do before we came back.

#AtLeastIDoNotHaveToQuarantineButItIsSoHotThatIDoNotReallyWantToLeaveTheHouseAnyways

I took B to the park yesterday to kick her ball around, but she just wanted to play with the pushchair. We were in the shade the whole time.

#TheDayBeforeLeavingWeWereSatInABankRunningErrandsAndIThinkIFeltTheBabyKick #ItMightPossiblyHaveBeenBraxtonHicksButIDefinitelyFeelMoreThingsHappeningWithinMyBumpNow

At this point you can start to feel things, and apparently if you’ve had a baby before you might feel it earlier. I think because I was sat so still and not doing much I noticed it more.

#NowWhenIAskBForAKissSheOffersMeHerForeheadOrHeadbuttsMe #TiagoSaidHisMumWasTeachingBHowToHeadbutLikeABullAsThereAreALotOfBullsOnTheIsland

I tried to film it this morning and she just headbutted my phone instead. Hopefully she’ll stop doing it soon.

#TravellingBackCouldHaveBeenWorseButItCouldHaveAlsoBeenBetterToo #TheFirstPlaneWasFineAsTheAirportIsChillAndBHadHadLunchBeforeWeGotToTheAirportAndItWasAShortFlight

T’s parents live so close to the airport that it’s great. We can leave fairly late and still have plenty of time. We ate our lunch in the airport while giving B some snacks as she hadn’t eaten much since it was quite early for her. The flight was about 35 minutes I think.

#ThenWeHadThreeHoursBetweenFlightsAndBWasStartingToGetSleepySoWeTookItInTurnsPushingHerUpAndDownTheAirportAndSheEventuallyHadANap

At first we tried outside but I felt awkward and a lot of people were smoking. It was much better once we went inside and had seats too.

#CheckInStartedLateAndWeWereStoodInAQueueForAboutAnHour

It was less than 2 hours until the flight and T went to ask if it had started. They said yes, then updated the board. We were going to wait until the queue had got smaller, but we also didn’t want to miss our flight.

We moved to a different queue (after following others who had been in our queue), but it turned out to be for a different flight so they made us wait.

#AFamilyInFrontOfUsWithATwoYearOldWereToldThatTheAirlineNoLongerAcceptedResultsFromTheCompanyTheyUsedAndWereNotAllowedToBoard #WeTriedToHelpThemButThereWasNothingWeCouldDoAndAsCheckInWasSoLateTheyDidNotHaveTimeToGetNewTests

They’d used a company for tests to fly out with and it’d been fine. The staff told them they did not accept results from that company anymore… I felt so bad for them. It was late in the day and there is only one direct flight to London a week from the Azores (which was the flight we were all queuing for). I hope they got home okay in the end.

Some people had not needed to check-in, so some people got to the boarding gates without showing test results and were not allowed to board as they had not done tests. There were a lot of empty seats by us on the plane and we had 3 seats to ourselves which was good.

#BHasDefinitelyChangedAsSheWasNotSoBotheredByAllThePeopleAndSpentALotOfTheFlightWanderingUpAndDownTheAisle

She’s changed from the young girl who was scared of all the people on our first flight 3 weeks ago.

#SheWasAlsoStealingWaterBottlesAsKidsDoNotWantFancyToysTheyWantToPlayWithAnythingAndEverythingElseInstead

Ain’t that the truth?

#SheLikesToDanceUsingHerHandsButIThinkSheDoesAlsoWaveNowAsWellSoSheWasDancingOrWavingAtEveryone

Sometimes I do not know if she is waving or dancing at me. Maybe she thinks waving is dancing? Who knows? (Just B who can’t communicate what she thinks yet.)

#TheLightsWereOnHighOnTheFlightTheWholeWaySoBDidNotSleepAndWeLandedAtAboutElevenThirty

There was a slightly older toddler two rows behind us who was also struggling to sleep and making a lot of noise, so that also didn’t help.

#TheFamilyQueueWasMassiveSoItTookAnHourToGetThrough

I thought that not many flights would land at 11:30pm, but apparently they do. It was a queue full of overtired kids, and stressed out parents.

#TheTaxisWereSuperExpensiveAndWeHadJustMissedTheLastTrainSoWeHadToGetACoachInstead

Great.

#YouCouldSeeEveryoneInTheQueueThinkingErghNotABabyOnTheCoachButSheSleptTheWholeTime

It was not as bad as it could have been, but we should have probably got off at the first stop and got a taxi from there as it cost the same as from the fifth stop but whatever. It was too late by the time we realised as our luggage had been put in sections and we were at the back of the coach.

#WeGotToMySistersPlaceAtTwoThirtyInTheMorningAndLuckilyBWentStraightToSleep

We were planning to go to our car (though the taxi was the same price as a taxi to theirs), so we spent the night with them instead which was nice as we hadn’t seen them in a long time.

Another hurrah for not having to quarantine.

#ItWasNiceForHerToPlayWithHerCousinAndWeWentOutForLunch

The last time they saw each other they had been so young that they hadn’t really noticed each other existed. It was fun to see them together.

#ApparentlySomeRestaurantsDoNotHaveMoreThanOneHighChairSoWeFinallyGotEnoughSeatsInTheThirdPlaceWeTried

If we’d known my sister could have brought a booster seat, but oh well. The one we went to in the end had about 4?

#BDidNotLikeHerPlateOfEggFriedRiceSoIHadToGoAndBuyHerSomeFoodFromASupermarket

Her cousin was loving it, but B was crying her head off and we were getting stressed. My sister suggested going out to get her something (as the restaurant didn’t have much toddler friendly food). The kids loved the spinch and feta parcels I got.

#WeAreTryingGivingHerDinnerLaterAndPuttingHerToBedLaterButLetsSeeIfSheCanKeepWakingUpAtAMoreRespectableHour

The first night we all woke up at 7:45 after I realised what time it was and got us up. Yesterday I kept pressing snooze but we got up around 7:30. Today I heard B at 6:15, but she fell asleep again and then was crying at 6:45 so we got up then.

I was sick at about 7. Fun times. Need to get her up now…

19 weeks pregnant with B comparison:

Close-up of four of my fingers. There is a cut on one of them.
Hand Cuts & NHS Fine (19 weeks)
 
#IAmGuessingThatTheLittleCutsOnMyHandsAreNotDownToMeBeingPregnant
#IReadThatMasksDoNotReallyHelpWithViruses
#ButTheyStopYouTouchingYourFaceSoMuch
#SoIHaveBeenWashingMyHandsMoreSoTheyAreProbablyMoreDryAndCrackEasier
#NotBecauseOfTheVirusButBecauseIHaveBeenIllAndIAmBoredOfBeingIll
#ManagedToDoSomeSaltWaterGarglingYesterday
#RealisedItIsBestIfIKeepTheSaltDownToOneTeaSpoonPerMug
#AndAtTheEndIStillStruggleABit
#IGotALetterFromTheNHSTheOtherDayAndIWasHopingItWasFromMy12WeeksScreening
#NoItWasAFineForSayingIHadAValidMaternityExemptionCertificateWhenIDidNotWhenIGotAPrescription
#ItSaidIfIWasEntitledToHaveOneThenICanApplyForOneButIStillNeedToPayForThePrescription
#ToBeFairIUsedToWorkInAPharmacyButNoOneEverToldMeAboutFinesForPuttingTheWrongOption
#TheWomanAskedMeIfIUsuallyPayForMyPrescriptions
#AndISaidIAmPregnant
#SoSheTickedTheOption
#NotBlamingHerButIThoughtTheyWouldBeAbleToSeeOnMyRecordsThatIAmPregnant
#WellIAppliedForOneYesterday
#NowIAmJustHopingItMeansIDoNotGetFinedForFreeDentistTreatmentToo
#IHonestlyDidNotKnowHowItAllWorks
#ItMakesSenseThatYouGetFinedIfYouSayTheWrongOption
#LuckilyThePrescriptionWas2MonthsAgoSoTheyGiveYouAWhile
#AndGiveYouTwoMonthsToContestItOrPayOrGetACertificate
#TurningOverInBedIsBecomingAProblemIMightHaveSaidSoBefore
#IHaveToSitUpBeforeIDoItNow
#Doing20MinuteStretchingVideosBeforeBedNowWhichDefinitelyHelps
#IDoNotSeemToHaveSaidMuchPelvisPainLately
#ThoughIGetCrampsAndStuffButThatIsMyBodyCleaningItselfAndGrowing
#StillFeelingNervousAboutTheBabyAsIHaveNotSeenItsHeartbeatIn7Weeks
#ItHasDefinitelyGrownSinceThenButIJustGetWorriedThatIGoAndTheyWillSayItStoppedGrowingXWeeksAgo
#NoPointGettingTooStressedOutButWillBeGladWhenICanStartToFeelItsMovements

This time I didn’t need a prescription, and asked for a maternity exemption certificate later (23 weeks?). No one really tells you how this stuff works or generally asks you if you want things, so you just have to find out for yourself or hope that someone tells you stuff. I get it though – the NHS are under resourced, underfunded, overworked etc etc.

With a subsequent pregnancy you have less appointments so you just have to get on with it and pay attention to your body more I guess. I can feel the baby kicking (or braxton kicks?) as I write this. It definitely helps when you start to feel things as you can monitor things for yourself a bit better.

Portrait with my husband Tiago. We have our backs slightly to each other. We are both wearing blue tops and dark bottoms. We look like we are daydreaming.
My Portuguese-British Family and Me (19 weeks)

#SoBrexitFinallyHappened
#IFeelComfortedKnowingThatTiagoHasBritishCitizenship
#ThoughIAmJealousOfHimStillBeingAnEUCitizen
#HopefullyOurChildWillBeAbleToHaveBoth
#SoIDoNotNeedToWorryAboutThem
#IJustHopeThatOneDayICanBeAnEUCitizenAgainOneDay
#IWillProbablyNeverGetOverBrexit
#IWasSatFumingAllDayOnTheDayItFinallyHappened
#PeopleOnTheNewsDoNotSeemAbleToGiveAGoodEnoughReasonStill
#AndItHasBeen3AndAHalfYears
#WeWereInPortugalWhenTheResultsCameOut
#AndItWasTheGreyestDayOfOurTrip
#WeSpentAgesGettingToABeach
#AndTheWeatherWasJustTerrible
#WhichReflectedOurMood
#TheOnlyGoodThingAboutBrexitIsThatItStoppedUsGettingTrappedInZone5OfLondon
#WeThoughtAboutDidWeReallyWantToSpendOurLivesThere
#WeDecidedNo
#SoWeStayedInZone2AndThenTiagosJobRoleChangedAfterAWhile
#IDidNotSeeMyselfLeavingLondonForAnywhereElseInTheUK
#ButThenOneDayWhenIKnewMyWatfordProjectWasNearlyDoneISaidIfYouWantToMoveUpNorthForYourJobThenIAmReadyNowAndWeLeftWithin5Weeks
#AndNowWeLiveInLiverpool
#SoIAmGladThatWeDidNotCommitToZone5InTheEnd
#YesWeAreWearingTheSameTop
#MyMumBoughtMeOneAndIBoughtAnother
#ButTiagoWearsOneAsTheyAreNiceAndWarm
#AndItIsColdUpHereInLiverpool
#ItIsAwkwardWhenWeGoOutWithJumpersOnAndRealiseWeHaveTheSameTopOnUnderneath
#SoOneOfUsHasToBoilInAJumperSoWeDoNotLookSilly
#BlessTiagoBecauseItIsUsuallyHimBoilingInTheJumperAsWeDoNotWantToOverheatTheBaby

Tiago celebrated his 2 years of citizenship the other day (I’m writing this mid-October). We applied for B’s citizenship on holiday and I think it has gone through as now we can apply for a citizenship card for her. Hurrah.

I’m still pissed off about Brexit and will forever be, but we are lucky as hopefully one day our little family will all be EU citizens. With the kids it is easy, but with me it is more of a faff.

I am still grateful that we didn’t get stuck in zone 5 of London. We might have tried for kids sooner though…

When I wrote the hashtags I had no idea we would end up living in Birmingham within a year. Weird.


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Categories
Pregnancy Waiting II

Imitating B Hiding Using Her Hands (14 Weeks / 4th August 2021)

Self-portrait with my hands over my face, but showing my left eye.
Imitating B Hiding Using Her Hands (14 Weeks / 4th August 2021)
 
#SheLikesToPutOneHandInTheMiddleOfHerFaceAndOneOnTheSideOfHerFace
#MaybeSheIsNotTryingToHideButItSeemsLikeTheMostLogicalReasonWhySheIsDoingIt
#SheNowHasAClimbingFrameAndABouncyZebraSetUpInTheLivingRoom
#WeSetThemUpOnTheSameDayAndSheWasHavingABallGoingBetweenTheTwoThenClimbingOnAChair
#TheMorningAfterSheWokeUpAtSixForTheFirstTimeInAgesWhichMightHaveJustBeenAFluke
#SheKeepsWakingUpLoadsAtNightAtTheMomentAndIThinkItIsDueToTeething
#MoreTopTeethAreComingThroughAndIThinkSomeMolarsArePlanningToJoinSoon
#BrushingHerTeethIsSuchAFaffWhichPutsUsOffButWeNeedToStartTryingToDoItTwiceADay
#BrushingMyOwnTeethIsAlsoAFaffAndQuiteUnpleasant
#IFeelMySickestInTheEveningNowAndIDoNotLookForwardToBrushingMyTeeth
#IWasSickStraightAfterBrushingThemTwoNightsAgoAndTheTasteOfSickWasStillThereTwoHoursLater
#IDidNotHaveThisLingeringSickTasteWithBAsIWasUsuallyAlwaysSickFirstThingInTheMorning
#ItIsHorribleAndIWouldNotWishItOnAnyone
#IAmFourteenishWeeksNowWhichMeansIMustBeAThirdOfTheWayThroughThePregnancyNow
#IAmQuiteAnxiousAndEveryTimeIGetACrampIFeelNervous
#IAmPlanningToAnnounceMyPregnancyTomorrowAsIThinkItIsGettingHarderToHideInDanceVideos
#AndIHaveRanOutOfNonPregnancyRelatedImagesToPost
#IFeelAwkwardInCaseSomethingBadHappensButIGuessTheWholePointOfDocumentingAndSharingMyMotherhoodStoryIsItBeingAsHonestAsPossible
#IThinkIHaveAlreadyStartedToNestAsIAmSuddenlyEnjoyingSortingThroughOurStuffAndCleaning
#WeHaveMadeMoreSpaceInOurBedroomSoThatWeCanHangOutWithBInIt
#SoIThinkThisHasMadeMeWantToGetOrganisedAndToBeFairItIsBetterToDoItNowThanWhenTheBabyComes
#BHasSuddenlyStartedToMakeALotOfGNoisesAndJustMakesLotsOfSounds
#IWishIKnewWhatSheWasTryingToSay
#SheHasLearnedToSayYeahAndSheSaysItALotWhenIAskHerQuestionsButIDoNotKnowIfSheReallyUnderstandsWhatSheIsSaying
#SheIsSoSpeedyAndIsAbleToReachThingsThatAreFurtherAwayNowOnHerTipToes
#ThisMorningSheWasUpOnTheSofaRippingATissueIntoManyPieces
#SheStillDoesNotReallyWantToWalkInHerShoesSoINeedToPutThemOnHerEveryday
#SheIsDefinitelyDaddysLittleGirlWhoWantsToBeInHisArmsAtAnyOpportunity
#WhenHeGoesOutSheGetsUpsetButITellTiagoToMakeSureHeAlwaysSaysByeAndWeWillWaveHimOffForABit
#AndThenITryToDistractHerAndSheDoesUsuallyMoveOnAfterAMinute

#SheLikesToPutOneHandInTheMiddleOfHerFaceAndOneOnTheSideOfHerFace #MaybeSheIsNotTryingToHideButItSeemsLikeTheMostLogicalReasonWhySheIsDoingIt

Sometimes she just puts a hand on the side of her head, which may or may not be down to teething.

#SheNowHasAClimbingFrameAndABouncyZebraSetUpInTheLivingRoom

The climbing frame was supposed to come on a Friday, but eventually arrived on a Tuesday so she had to wait for the weekend for us to set it up.

#WeSetThemUpOnTheSameDayAndSheWasHavingABallGoingBetweenTheTwoThenClimbingOnAChair

My Nan got the zebra from a charity shop for four quid. Of course at first she loved the zebra more. They have the same one at the soft play place I took her to, but she was too young for it then and it had no batteries in it – the music adds a lot to it.

She likes to hang on the climbing frame and watch TV.

#TheMorningAfterSheWokeUpAtSixForTheFirstTimeInAgesWhichMightHaveJustBeenAFluke

I was hoping it was her new things wearing her out. Potentially so, but now she’s back to waking up between 5.15 and 5.45 again.

#SheKeepsWakingUpLoadsAtNightAtTheMomentAndIThinkItIsDueToTeething

She’ll wake up a lot until midnight and then she seems to conk out until 5 something. Actually I think I’m lying; she does wake up at one, two, four, whatever, except for last night.

#MoreTopTeethAreComingThroughAndIThinkSomeMolarsArePlanningToJoinSoon

I feel sorry for her. It must be so unpleasant.

#BrushingHerTeethIsSuchAFaffWhichPutsUsOffButWeNeedToStartTryingToDoItTwiceADay

I feel embarrassed to admit that we have only been brushing her teeth once a day, but we need to start doing it more. I’m not looking forward to it.

#BrushingMyOwnTeethIsAlsoAFaffAndQuiteUnpleasant

I tried changing my toothpaste but that hasn’t really helped.

#IFeelMySickestInTheEveningNowAndIDoNotLookForwardToBrushingMyTeeth

I think sometimes I eat too much in the evenings, so last night I tried eating a bit less. I still felt sick, but I managed to not be sick after brushing my teeth at night.

#IWasSickStraightAfterBrushingThemTwoNightsAgoAndTheTasteOfSickWasStillThereTwoHoursLater

I could not be bothered to have a shower, but I did the gargling, constant nose blowing, spitting etc. After I lay down for bed a lot more came up. It’s horrid.

#IDidNotHaveThisLingeringSickTasteWithBAsIWasUsuallyAlwaysSickFirstThingInTheMorning

Lucky me. It wasn’t bad at all then as it was water that would come up.

#ItIsHorribleAndIWouldNotWishItOnAnyone

It’s so horrid.

#IAmFourteenishWeeksNowWhichMeansIMustBeAThirdOfTheWayThroughThePregnancyNow

I thought with B I’d be a 42-weeker. This time I do not want to be, but you never know.

#IAmQuiteAnxiousAndEveryTimeIGetACrampIFeelNervous

I don’t know how people can be chill for their whole pregnancy. Is anyone?

#IAmPlanningToAnnounceMyPregnancyTomorrowAsIThinkItIsGettingHarderToHideInDanceVideos #AndIHaveRanOutOfNonPregnancyRelatedImagesToPost

This makes it sounds like people care. No one cares, but for me it is a big deal. I’ve been dragging out posting my non pregnancy related stuff for a while – going down from two posts a week to one. Now I need to post a backlog of stuff…

#IFeelAwkwardInCaseSomethingBadHappensButIGuessTheWholePointOfDocumentingAndSharingMyMotherhoodStoryIsItBeingAsHonestAsPossible

With B I waited until after I was 20 weeks, but that was because it took so long to get my syndrome results back. I’m hoping sharing my story this time might help others who may be at similar stage – I’m bored of reading comments on different platforms about people being dumb for getting pregnant during a pandemic.

#IThinkIHaveAlreadyStartedToNestAsIAmSuddenlyEnjoyingSortingThroughOurStuffAndCleaning

I just wish I had more time to do it. Yesterday B was sat on the floor with me while I tried to sort through things. I’m playing my favourite game of ‘would I pay £5 to ship this book to keep it?’ I need to be quite ruthless.

#WeHaveMadeMoreSpaceInOurBedroomSoThatWeCanHangOutWithBInIt

We’ve lived with my Nan for 9 months now. We’re grateful, but we need some more space to ourselves. We keep looking at moving out, but we are looking for something short term now and there is not much about. By us living with her she gets support, and we also get support. I think it is normal to want more space, though I feel bad for saying these things.

#SoIThinkThisHasMadeMeWantToGetOrganisedAndToBeFairItIsBetterToDoItNowThanWhenTheBabyComes

I do not think that I will be nesting to the same level as when B was born, as I will have B to look after. Also with how our living arrangement is it will be harder to organise things without waking one of them up.

#BHasSuddenlyStartedToMakeALotOfGNoisesAndJustMakesLotsOfSounds

No gaga yet, but just a lot of riffing on g sounds.

#IWishIKnewWhatSheWasTryingToSay

It might not be too long now before she talks more.

#SheHasLearnedToSayYeahAndSheSaysItALotWhenIAskHerQuestionsButIDoNotKnowIfSheReallyUnderstandsWhatSheIsSaying

‘Do you want some water?’ ‘Yeah’ Does she really want some water though?

#SheIsSoSpeedyAndIsAbleToReachThingsThatAreFurtherAwayNowOnHerTipToes

If she hears a door open she is off. Life is just a game of moving things further away from B and her grasp.

#ThisMorningSheWasUpOnTheSofaRippingATissueIntoManyPieces

She had about four tissues at first, but I took them away except for one. She had a lot of fun ripping it up. I figured it’s good for a lot of skills, though I probably shouldn’t encourage her.

#SheStillDoesNotReallyWantToWalkInHerShoesSoINeedToPutThemOnHerEveryday

At the park yesterday she was just sat down by the swings. She did do a few steps at one point but she is not a fan.

#SheIsDefinitelyDaddysLittleGirlWhoWantsToBeInHisArmsAtAnyOpportunity

I do not mind as it gives me a break, and I know she sees me all the time so she’s not so bothered by me.

#WhenHeGoesOutSheGetsUpsetButITellTiagoToMakeSureHeAlwaysSaysByeAndWeWillWaveHimOffForABit

When I leave she does not care at all, which is good. Tiago will put B down and she will cry, but I have to tell him that once he has put her down he should not pick her up again – as I think she cries more as she knows he usually will pick her up again. It sounds mean, but he usually puts her down as he has things to do, so he needs to go do them.

#AndThenITryToDistractHerAndSheDoesUsuallyMoveOnAfterAMinute

This morning we waved bye through the window, then I took her to the living room before he’d pulled away and within 30 seconds she was fine.

13 weeks pregnant with B comparison:

(I don’t have a picture from 14 weeks, and I’ll save the 14 and a half weeks one for my next post.)

Self-portrait looking off to my lower left. I look quite tired and sick.
I Feel Like All I Write About At The Moment Is Vomit (13 Weeks)
 

#IFeelLikeAllIWriteAboutAtTheMomentIsVomit
#IHad2SickFreeDaysWhichWasMyLongestTimeSinceBeforeMyMorningSicknessBegan
#ThenIWasSickAt4AM
#AndItWasTheFirstOf9TimesInOneDay
#IAteABigMealOfRiceAndBeansTheNightBefore
#MyBrotherInLawLoadedMyPlateAndIForgotThatIHadBeenEatingSmallMealsALotLately
#IAteALotForBreakfastToo
#IWokeUpWithSuchAHeavyStomachThatIKnewTheOnlyWayIWouldFeelBetterWasToThrowUp
#ThenIHadToGoAgain20MinutesLater
#AndAnother20MinutesLater
#TiagoWentIntoTownToGetRehydrationSalts
#HeHadNeverHeardOfThemAndCameBackWith3SmallCartonsThatCostHim12Euros
#SoIDrankTheFirstVerySlowlyButIThinkItWentIntoTheToilet
#IFeltSoWeakAndIWasWorriedAboutTheBaby
#SoEvenAfterBeingSickIWouldTryToEatAgain
#EventuallyInTheEveningIManagedToKeepADrinkDown
#ThenTiagoStartedToBeSickAndIKnewItWasNotMorningSickness
#IThoughtMaybeItWasAStomachBugButIThoughtTheRiceHadJustUpsetMeALot
#ItRemindedMeOfBeingOnACaravanHolidayAtTheEndOfMiddleSchoolOrEarlyHighSchoolWhereIJustThrewUpFor24Hours
#IWouldNotWishSicknessOnMyWorstEnemy
#IFeltSoWeakAndHorrible
#IHopeIEnterTheNiceStageOfPregnancySoon
#IAmFeelingConcernedForTheBaby
#IAmStillNotCompletelyOverMyCold
#ItIsNiceBeingSomewhereSunnyForAWeek
#ButThereIsNothingLikeBeingAtHomeWithMyUsualRoutineAndFood
#MyAppetiteIsNotGreatAndIAmNotAbleToBuyThingsThatIUsuallyLikeToEat
#AndIThinkNotHavingMyUsualEatingRoutineMayHaveContributedToMySickness
#ButHopefullyEverythingIsOkay
#AndICanEnjoyTheLastCoupleOfDaysOfSunAndVitaminD

Well, I have been mentioning vomit a lot lately. I was more sick when I was pregnant with B though. Luckily my food aversions didn’t seem so bad this time too.

With this image/hashtags I think I must have actually had a stomach bug or something as Tiago was also sick at least once. We were visiting his brother in Portugal at time and I was really struggling to find food that I wanted to eat as all my usual favourite things weren’t really available.

I’m starting to feel sick just looking at this image and reading the hashtags…


Thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying my blog (and/or the work I make) please consider supporting me by ‘buying me a coffee’ on Ko-fi – thanks!

Categories
Oh Me, Oh Mãe

An Impression Of B Sucking Her Hands (31st August 2020)

Me doing an impression of B sucking her hand
An Impression Of B Sucking Her Hands (31st August 2020)
 
#IHadBeenMeaningToTakeAPictureOfThisForAFewDays
#BHasStartedToSuckHerHandsNow
#AndBecauseIDoNotWantHerFaceInThisProjectIThoughtIWouldPhotographMyselfDoingItInstead
#ItLooksABitLikeSheIsLickingAnIceCream
#IHopeItDoesNotLookTooDodgy
#WellIfItDoesThenThatIsYourDodgyMindNotMine
#ItWasOnMyShootListButIWasTryingToNotDoOneForACoupleOfDays
#IAmUpToDateWithMyBlogPostsInTermsOfHavingSomethingWrittenForEachOne
#ThenOnTheDayThatIPostIJustCheckOverThemAndAddInAnythingElse
#AndIStartedACodingCourseLastWeekSoIFeelLikeIHaveALotGoingOn
#SoItWasNiceToNotHaveToWriteAnyBlogPostsForACoupleOfDays
#ThenIHadAnImprintOfBsEarOnMyChest
#SoIWantedToPhotographThatWithMyQuoteProperKitUnquoteAsMostOfMyPicturesLatelyHaveBeenWithMyCrummyPhoneCamera
#ThoughIDidTryToTakeOneWithMyPhone
#AndAsEverythingWasSetUpAndBWasWithTiagoIThoughtIWouldTryOutThisIdea
#ItIsWhatItIs
#MeDoingAnImpressionOfBSuckingHerHand
#TiagoGotACoupleOfShelvingUnitsThatIHaveWantedSinceIStartedToNestAtTheBeginningOfLockdown
#SoHopefullyNowWeCanSoonHaveTheFlatMoreTidy
#ButThenTheNextThingWeNeedToWorryAboutIsBabyproofingEverything
#TheFunNeverEnds
#IFeelABitLonely
#IFeelLikeNonMumFriendsCanNotRelateToMeNowAndSomeAreKeepingTheirDistance
#AndThatIDoNotFitInWithNewMumFriendsAsIStartedToDoACourseAndTheyFeelLikeTheyDoNotHaveTimeToDoAnything
#INeedToBeProductiveAndRetainSomeOfMyOldIdentityAsOtherwiseItIsNotGoodForMyMentalHealth
#ILoveBToBitsAlreadyButSheCanNotProvideMeWithEverythingINeed
#AndTheGoodThingAboutMyProjectIsItIsToDoWithOurFamily
#ThoughWritingThingsLikeThisIsHardButIThinkSheWillUnderstandOneDay
#IAmStillWorkingOnABalanceButIGuessItIsAWorkInProgressFromWeekToWeek
#INeedToDoSomeStretchingBeforeSheWakesUpFromHerNapAsIHaveNotInAFewDaysAndIDoNotFeelThatGreatBecauseOfIt

(I wrote this blog post on the day I took the picture – any comments in brackets are comments from today.)

#IHadBeenMeaningToTakeAPictureOfThisForAFewDays
#BHasStartedToSuckHerHandsNow
#AndBecauseIDoNotWantHerFaceInThisProjectIThoughtIWouldPhotographMyselfDoingItInstead
#ItLooksABitLikeSheIsLickingAnIceCream
#IHopeItDoesNotLookTooDodgy
#WellIfItDoesThenThatIsYourDodgyMindNotMine

To be fair there were some dodgy looking pictures and I get enough weird messages as it is. In the end it was between this one and one that did look dodgy. I preferred this one, but I thought I’d ask T his opinion; I was happy when he also liked this one.

Maybe it looks more like I am just thinking. I do suck/bite my fingers when I am stressed (perhaps less now due to Covid now), so maybe it’s a similar thing. I think she is just discovering her body more though. I got reminded that she will be grabbing her feet and things soon, which will be funny!

#ItWasOnMyShootListButIWasTryingToNotDoOneForACoupleOfDays
#IAmUpToDateWithMyBlogPostsInTermsOfHavingSomethingWrittenForEachOne
#ThenOnTheDayThatIPostIJustCheckOverThemAndAddInAnythingElse

Though once I start writing blog posts I do get quite into them.

#AndIStartedACodingCourseLastWeekSoIFeelLikeIHaveALotGoingOn
#SoItWasNiceToNotHaveToWriteAnyBlogPostsForACoupleOfDays

Yeah it’s a bit much doing blog posts and classes in one night. Though I watched a few segments earlier and did the first task for my JavaScript week, and this is my second blog post but hopefully tomorrow night I can just focus on my course. Thanks to Tiago for being super supportive.

#ThenIHadAnImprintOfBsEarOnMyChest
#SoIWantedToPhotographThatWithMyQuoteProperKitUnquoteAsMostOfMyPicturesLatelyHaveBeenWithMyCrummyPhoneCamera
#ThoughIDidTryToTakeOneWithMyPhone
#AndAsEverythingWasSetUpAndBWasWithTiagoIThoughtIWouldTryOutThisIdea
#ItIsWhatItIs
#MeDoingAnImpressionOfBSuckingHerHand

I love how I don’t do a shoot for a few days and then I photograph two ideas. It’s how it goes. I’ve written the blog posts on the same day as the shoots, which at least is a good exercise in editing my shoots down quickly. It feels really good to be up to date with these things – until I make more work for myself.

#TiagoGotACoupleOfShelvingUnitsThatIHaveWantedSinceIStartedToNestAtTheBeginningOfLockdown
#SoHopefullyNowWeCanSoonHaveTheFlatMoreTidy

A certain furniture store was out of stock of certain things – like the cot we wanted – and then wasn’t delivering other things that we wanted. When they reopened we thought the queues would be too much, so we held off and tried to find them second hand. In the end we were too slow at getting them, so T finally braved it. He said there were still big queues and a lot of people going in together. I’d love to go round a shop, but I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to go as a family.

Anyways, we built them pretty fast and it’s nice to have my art books out finally after living in Liverpool for 20 months!

#ButThenTheNextThingWeNeedToWorryAboutIsBabyproofingEverything
#TheFunNeverEnds

Can she just exist within a playpen for the rest of her life?

#IFeelABitLonely
#IFeelLikeNonMumFriendsCanNotRelateToMeNowAndSomeAreKeepingTheirDistance
#AndThatIDoNotFitInWithNewMumFriendsAsIStartedToDoACourseAndTheyFeelLikeTheyDoNotHaveTimeToDoAnything
#INeedToBeProductiveAndRetainSomeOfMyOldIdentityAsOtherwiseItIsNotGoodForMyMentalHealth

(I’ve been thinking about these few hashtags since I wrote them and I feel awkward about them, but it’s how I feel.)

It is just a bit weird. Some people stop talking to you once you get pregnant, some stop talking to you once you’ve had a kid, some people it just feels awkward to talk to etc.

I know that some people feel bad for not being productive; I don’t want them to feel that way. Some people say they aren’t productive, but I bet they are in different ways to me.

I would love to just be relaxing, but I’m not very good at it. I’m trying to be more relaxed during the day though when me and B hang out though. I’m also lucky that Tiago understands that I need some time to do my own thing.

I guess I’ve always felt like I’ve never really fitted in anywhere anyways. Well, I feel like I fit in with my new family of T and B and that’s really good. I can be myself with them – for now. Maybe B will find me embarrassing in a few years’ time, but we will just have to wait and see!

I’ve said since before B was born that I need to retain some of my past identity. When I say that I mean just being able to do my art stuff as it is important for my mental health. I am at my worst when I feel like I haven’t done anything as my work is very therapeutic for me.

(I’m currently feeling a little stressed as I’ve started the next phase of my coding course – my session today took me longer than I planned and I didn’t do my task well – and I haven’t done a shoot in 4/5 days. Hopefully I will take photos tomorrow.)

#ILoveBToBitsAlreadyButSheCanNotProvideMeWithEverythingINeed

I love when she smiles and she giggles in her sleep a bit now. I can’t wait for her to laugh at loud at me doing dumb things to make her do so 🙂

#AndTheGoodThingAboutMyProjectIsItIsToDoWithOurFamily

So I may annoy them, but at least I’m around. At some point I would like to do something that perhaps isn’t so diaristic, but that’s where we are for now.

#ThoughWritingThingsLikeThisIsHardButIThinkSheWillUnderstandOneDay

Well, she will one day know that I can not provide her with everything she needs because it is impossible.

It is also hard to write about feeling lonely at times. I think I feel this way because of the pandemic too though; things would be a bit different if we weren’t going through this. It is odd though as a lot of people act like it is not happening.

#IAmStillWorkingOnABalanceButIGuessItIsAWorkInProgressFromWeekToWeek

It is a bit more day to day at times, but I am learning and different days need different approaches.

#INeedToDoSomeStretchingBeforeSheWakesUpFromHerNapAsIHaveNotInAFewDaysAndIDoNotFeelThatGreatBecauseOfIt

I was bouncing her in her bouncer while she slept. I finished the hashtags and got up to do a YouTube video. T took over bouncing duties, but she noticed the difference and she woke up pretty quickly.

Luckily she was pretty chilled and allowed me to finish. I think I fed and changed her, then I did a baby yoga video with her. I need to start doing more baby classes with her as it is good quality time and I feel like she gets a lot out of them. We are starting a new course soon, so hopefully she will enjoy it more now that she is a bit older.

(We have since started a new course and we haven’t been able to get through a class in one go – the last one we did it took 3 separate sessions to complete.

I hope this blog post makes sense. When I wrote it I was probably tired and now checking it I am quite tired. I’ve started to go to bed at 9pm if I can, but it seems that I can never sleep enough.)


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