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Oh Me, Oh Mãe

My Temporary Desk Situation And B Who Was Supposed To Be Having A Long First Nap (22nd January 2021)

My Temporary Desk Situation And B Who Was Supposed To Be Having A Long First Nap (22nd January 2021)
 
#SoLastNightWasNight6OfSleepTraining
#TheFirstNightWasDefinitelyTheWorstAndIThinkThatWasJustBecauseSheWasCold
#TheSecondNightIPutTheHeaterOnATimerButNowWeHaveASmartPlugSoICanControlItFromMyPhone
#WeHaveGenerallyBeenSleepingForAround7HoursANightAtOneTime
#IWishWeHadDoneThisSooner
#SheWillDefinitelyNotBeComingBackToSleepInOurRoomAfterTheTwoWeeksIsOver
#AsAConsequenceIHaveLostMyOfficeSlashStudioRoom
#WePlannedToMoveTheDeskBackToOurRoomButWeHaveNotHadTimeYet
#ItNeedsToBeTakenApartAndPutBackTogetherAgainAsTheDoorwaysAreTooNarrow
#IfBIsAwakeThenICanStillUseTheRoomForSomePhotosAndForMyDanceVideos
#ButOtherwiseINeedToBeMoreCreativeAsThereAreNoOtherFreeBlankWallsInTheHouse
#PerhapsMyWorkIsTooMuchAboutPlainBlankWallsAnyways
#AnywaysWeAlsoDroppedBDownToATwoNapSchedule
#AfterSleepTrainingStartedWeHadTroubleGettingHerDownForAThirdNapSoWeKnewItWasTimeToDropIt
#TheThirdNapWasGettingABitAnnoyingAndIHadBeenShorteningItTo20MinutesSoItWillNotBeMissed
#IWasJustABitStressedAboutFiguringOutARoughScheduleForHerDay
#ButTheFirstDayWentWellSoIWillStickToThatButJustReadjustingForHerWakeupTimes
#SheIsSupposedToStayInHerCotForBetween11And12HoursAtNightSoWeUsuallyGetHerUpBetween6And7Now
#YesterdayWeCouldNotBeBotheredToGetHerUpAt6SoWeGotHerUpALotLaterThanWeShouldHave
#SoWeHadAnOvertiredBabyToDealWithAtNaptimeButItWasNotTooBad
#TodayWeGotHerUpAt10Past6ButIStillHadAVeryOvertiredBabyToDealWithWhoTookAWhileToGoToSleep
#SheUsedToHave2HoursBeforeHerFirstNapButItIsMoreLike3Now
#HopefullySheWillGetUsedToItSoon
#YouAreNotSupposedToStartSleepTrainingForNapsUntilTheyAre10MonthsOldAsForNapsTheyUseADifferentPartOfTheBrain
#HerMealTimesHaveShiftedAndIAmSurprisedThatSheEatsHerPorridgeSoMuchEarlierInTheMorning
#ItIsNiceThoughAsNowWeAllHaveLunchAroundTheSameTimeInsteadOfUsEatingLunchDuringHerNap
#TheAnnoyingThingIsBUsuallyNapsForMostOfTheTimeThatMyMumVisitsButOhWell
#IUsuallyHaveAGoodBitOfTimeToDoWorkDuringHerFirstNapAtLeast
#AndThenHerBedtimeIs7SoIDoSomeWorkAndThenTryToReadABitBeforeGoingToBedAround10
#MyMoodHasBeenBetterAndLookingBackAtMyMoodDiaryMyWorstDaysWereWhenIWasTired
 

#SoLastNightWasNight6OfSleepTraining #TheFirstNightWasDefinitelyTheWorstAndIThinkThatWasJustBecauseSheWasCold

See my previous post.

#TheSecondNightIPutTheHeaterOnATimerButNowWeHaveASmartPlugSoICanControlItFromMyPhone

I hadn’t actually used the timer on the heater before. It was good, but now if I remember I can turn the heater on from anywhere in the house to preheat the room before bed. I have a schedule set up for it during the night, but it’s handy to just be able to change it whenever without having to go into her room all the time.

#WeHaveGenerallyBeenSleepingForAround7HoursANightAtOneTime

We try to go to bed at 10, but one night she woke up just as we were going to sleep and did not settle until 11. Last night she woke up closer to 11 – I was just in that weird half awake half asleep state – but it took only one visit to her room for her to calm down. I think perhaps she wakes up thinking it’s the end of naptime, but we’re like nope it’s not a nap – go to bed!

#IWishWeHadDoneThisSooner

You can start sleep training from between 4 and 6 months apparently.

#SheWillDefinitelyNotBeComingBackToSleepInOurRoomAfterTheTwoWeeksIsOver

It’s so nice not having to tiptoe around the room. Before B would wake up and I’d feel like I had to rush over to her so that Tiago was not disturbed too much as he generally has work in the morning.

Now with her in her own room she probably does wake up in the night (apparently no one sleeps through the night – most of us have just trained ourselves to go back to sleep quickly), but not to the level where we notice.

#AsAConsequenceIHaveLostMyOfficeSlashStudioRoom

This is why I had been putting it off.

#WePlannedToMoveTheDeskBackToOurRoomButWeHaveNotHadTimeYet

So I am just using a little table and sitting on a cushion on a floor. I probably do sit up straighter to be fair. I might have to go back to using my exercise ball as a chair.

#ItNeedsToBeTakenApartAndPutBackTogetherAgainAsTheDoorwaysAreTooNarrow

Hopefully we’ll do it tomorrow as it is the weekend.

#IfBIsAwakeThenICanStillUseTheRoomForSomePhotosAndForMyDanceVideos

Especially once the desk is moved as there will be more space to move her cot out of the way.

#ButOtherwiseINeedToBeMoreCreativeAsThereAreNoOtherFreeBlankWallsInTheHouse

I should have moved my studio light out of the room for now, but B is currently napping in there, so I’ll try this shoot with natural light. If it doesn’t work then I’ll have to get the light later.

#PerhapsMyWorkIsTooMuchAboutPlainBlankWallsAnyways

I like it, but my Nan does have a nice house with lots of interesting walls.

#AnywaysWeAlsoDroppedBDownToATwoNapSchedule

It was easier than I thought. I think I said the same thing about dropping her fourth nap…

#AfterSleepTrainingStartedWeHadTroubleGettingHerDownForAThirdNapSoWeKnewItWasTimeToDropIt #TheThirdNapWasGettingABitAnnoyingAndIHadBeenShorteningItTo20MinutesSoItWillNotBeMissed

Though so far B’s second nap has been about 35 minutes, so that she can go to bed for 7.

#IWasJustABitStressedAboutFiguringOutARoughScheduleForHerDay

Hello writing and crossing things out with a pen on paper.

#ButTheFirstDayWentWellSoIWillStickToThatButJustReadjustingForHerWakeupTimes

Hello writing down times with a pen on paper.

#SheIsSupposedToStayInHerCotForBetween11And12HoursAtNightSoWeUsuallyGetHerUpBetween6And7Now

The first few nights I was waking up at about 5.30 and I felt quite awake, and could not fall back asleep easily.

The next day I said I would just get up then, but B slept until 7 – I had to wake her up! I think 6 will probably be her usual wake up time though.

T likes having a slow start to the day and still managing to start work early. I get to do a bit of yoga too which I like.

#YesterdayWeCouldNotBeBotheredToGetHerUpAt6SoWeGotHerUpALotLaterThanWeShouldHave #SoWeHadAnOvertiredBabyToDealWithAtNaptimeButItWasNotTooBad

I thought it would be a lot worse.

#TodayWeGotHerUpAt10Past6ButIStillHadAVeryOvertiredBabyToDealWithWhoTookAWhileToGoToSleep

I maybe went in too many times, but she did have trouble settling. She kept rolling into her front and could not seem to get comfortable. Yesterday she did sleep well on her front during her first nap though.

#SheUsedToHave2HoursBeforeHerFirstNapButItIsMoreLike3Now #HopefullySheWillGetUsedToItSoon

Lots of singing and dancing today to try to keep her awake. I thought I was putting her down in good time though – obviously not.

#YouAreNotSupposedToStartSleepTrainingForNapsUntilTheyAre10MonthsOldAsForNapsTheyUseADifferentPartOfTheBrain

Maybe this is why she likes on her front for naps but on her back at night? Probably not.

(10th February: I’m not sure how accurate this statement of mine is, so feel free to ignore this hashtag. I feel like I should take it out, but it’s what I thought at the time. I must have read it somewhere though…)

#HerMealTimesHaveShiftedAndIAmSurprisedThatSheEatsHerPorridgeSoMuchEarlierInTheMorning

She has some milk when she gets up, then porridge 2 hours later. Though Tiago thought he wasn’t feeding her until 7 today, so we’ll see how she does lasting until lunch time.

#ItIsNiceThoughAsNowWeAllHaveLunchAroundTheSameTimeInsteadOfUsEatingLunchDuringHerNap

She will probably not be able to join her usual baby classes as she will be asleep during them – and I can’t be bothered to work out a schedule for her to attend them. There are some other classes just before lunch though, which works well. We have done a music class everyday this week so far, plus I usually do a Sophie Pickles class everyday when I am not sure what to do/I want to make sure B is getting proper stimulation.

I’m linking from week 8 as this is when she started to re-record/pre-record the videos so they’re a lot shorter and you don’t have to skip through old shoutouts etc.

#TheAnnoyingThingIsBUsuallyNapsForMostOfTheTimeThatMyMumVisitsButOhWell

Luckily for my Mum she now doesn’t have to feed B porridge and can just have a little playtime with her if she stays long enough.

#IUsuallyHaveAGoodBitOfTimeToDoWorkDuringHerFirstNapAtLeast

On good days I can probably do the hashtags, blog and shoot during the first nap.

The other day I spent an hour and a half cooking during it. I need to get quicker at making things. I blame the red pepper for not grilling…

#AndThenHerBedtimeIs7SoIDoSomeWorkAndThenTryToReadABitBeforeGoingToBedAround10

I think I mentioned that I have started to do some research work, so I tend to do that in the evening but sometimes in the mornings too.

Someone just slammed a door and B woke up… She’s only been asleep for half an hour. Hopefully she settles again soon. Usually once she’s awake from a nap that’s it, but maybe she will as she should sleep for at least another half an hour if not an hour…

#MyMoodHasBeenBetterAndLookingBackAtMyMoodDiaryMyWorstDaysWereWhenIWasTired

The world needs more sleep. B needs more sleep, but I think she is up now. She’ll have to watch me do a photoshoot I think (not sure) and I hope she has a long second nap instead. 🤞

Second nap update: Well let’s see how she sleeps. I had B on the floor and wasn’t sure whether to have her in the shoot or not, but she kept rolling into view. I had gone to get my light as B was awake anyways and it was a fun shoot where B made it better, even though I had to keep stopping her from trying to destroy my paper. So, I’m glad she woke up, but I hope she sleeps well now.

(I don’t like that B’s leg is out of the frame a bit, but I liked this photo from the shoot the most.)


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Oh Me, Oh Mãe

I Need To Just Focus On What I Have And Make The Best Of Things (8th December 2020)

Me with my head down on a table.
I Need To Just Focus On What I Have And Make The Best Of Things (8th December 2020)
 
#WellYesterdayStartedFineAndNormal
#BWokeUpEarlyButItWasManageable
#TiagoFedHerWhileIStretchedThenWePlayed
#PutHerDownForANapAfterTwoHoursAndIThoughtIWouldSleepToo
#SheSleptForAbout30MinutesAndIJustWokeUpFeelingBroken
#IFedHerSomeCauliflowerForTheFirstTimeWhichDidNotGoThatWell
#AndThenICouldNotStopCrying
#IWentToBedToCallTheNumberThatTheHealthVisitorHadGivenMe
#TheCallWasSoFrustratingAsTheLineWasNotGreatAndWeHadToKeepCallingEachOtherBack
#EventuallyTheyHadAllTheInformationWhichIProbablyCouldHaveJustFilledOutOnline
#IAmWaitingToHearBackAboutAnInitialConsultation
#TiagoBookedTheMorningOffWorkWhichMadeMeFeelBad
#ITookPicturesOfMeCryingButIDoNoWantToSharePicturesLikeThatAnymore
#ItFeelsLikeTooMuchAndLikeIAmAttentionSeeking
#SharingThisFeelsLikeIAmTooButIDoHopeThatBySharingThingsThatItMightInspireSomeoneElseToAskForHelp
#IDoNotWantTimeAwayFromBButIJustWorryThatIAmNotGivingHerEnough
#WeWentToAClassYesterdayAndItIsGoodToPassSomeTime
#ButItAlsoFeelsLikeGoingToHighSchoolAllOverAgain
#MumsUsuallyAlreadyHaveTheirLittleGroupsAndIJustFeelAwkward
#ISpokeToSomeoneAndSheSaidHeIsReallyCuteAboutB
#IFeltAwkwardCorrectingHerAndIThinkSheThenFeltAwkwardThoughIReallyDoNotMind
#SheIsUsuallyDressedInBlueSoIKindOfExpectPeopleToAutomaticallyCallHerABoy
#IUsuallySayHowOldIsYourLittleOneOrSomethingLikeThatToAvoidPossibleAwkwardness
#IThinkIAmNotTalkingToBEnough
#AtAClassTheOtherWeekINoticedThatOtherPeopleWereTalkingALotMoreToTheirBabies
#IThinkIMadeAGoodStartOnItThisMorningButItIsHardToHaveALotOfEnergyAllDayLong
#IJustNeedToKeepGoingOutAndHopefullySoonPeopleWillStartToRecogniseUsAndChatMore
#IGuessInAnIdealWorldWeWouldHaveMorePeopleToHangOutWithDuringTheWeekToHelpTheDaysGoByInAMoreFunWay
#ItWillProbablyHappenButNowIsNotTheBestTimeOfTheYearAndALotOfTheClassesAreVeryStopStart
#INeedToJustFocusOnWhatIHaveAndMakeTheBestOfThings

I’ve wrote these hashtags out so many times in my bed in the last 24 hours, and I think they could have been a lot better. Oh well. I’m writing this on 8th December.

Suddenly felt the need to listen to Shiny Happy People by R.E.M.

The song is about something darker, which is what I thought when it came into my head.

Anyways…

#WellYesterdayStartedFineAndNormal #BWokeUpEarlyButItWasManageable #TiagoFedHerWhileIStretchedThenWePlayed #PutHerDownForANapAfterTwoHoursAndIThoughtIWouldSleepToo #SheSleptForAbout30MinutesAndIJustWokeUpFeelingBroken

I was really looking forward to sleeping, but it does seem like an overreaction.

#IFedHerSomeCauliflowerForTheFirstTimeWhichDidNotGoThatWell #AndThenICouldNotStopCrying #IWentToBedToCallTheNumberThatTheHealthVisitorHadGivenMe #TheCallWasSoFrustratingAsTheLineWasNotGreatAndWeHadToKeepCallingEachOtherBack #EventuallyTheyHadAllTheInformationWhichIProbablyCouldHaveJustFilledOutOnline #IAmWaitingToHearBackAboutAnInitialConsultation

I had been thinking about calling for a few days, but the line was always closed when I felt like I should call.

#TiagoBookedTheMorningOffWorkWhichMadeMeFeelBad

I just felt awful that he felt the need to do it. It made me feel like I was really failing.

(This is not a criticism of him, it’s just how I felt.)

#ITookPicturesOfMeCryingButIDoNoWantToSharePicturesLikeThatAnymore #ItFeelsLikeTooMuchAndLikeIAmAttentionSeeking #SharingThisFeelsLikeIAmTooButIDoHopeThatBySharingThingsThatItMightInspireSomeoneElseToAskForHelp

This project is supposed to honest. It’s awkward at times, but I know I’m not the only new-ish Mum who feels like this.

#IDoNotWantTimeAwayFromBButIJustWorryThatIAmNotGivingHerEnough

I keep saying that I’d love a week off, but I do not want that time away from her. I know I will not get a week off and it will not fix everything anyways. I’ve been mothering for nearly 6 months now; I knew it would be intense but living it is completely different.

#WeWentToAClassYesterdayAndItIsGoodToPassSomeTime #ButItAlsoFeelsLikeGoingToHighSchoolAllOverAgain #MumsUsuallyAlreadyHaveTheirLittleGroupsAndIJustFeelAwkward #ISpokeToSomeoneAndSheSaidHeIsReallyCuteAboutB #IFeltAwkwardCorrectingHerAndIThinkSheThenFeltAwkwardThoughIReallyDoNotMind #SheIsUsuallyDressedInBlueSoIKindOfExpectPeopleToAutomaticallyCallHerABoy #IUsuallySayHowOldIsYourLittleOneOrSomethingLikeThatToAvoidPossibleAwkwardness

Oh classes. I love to pass the time and know that B is getting a lot of stimulation. It has brought a whole new set of concerns though – especially yesterday when she was due to have a nap when the class started. She slept to and from class and I’ve just had to let go of things. It is good for me.

But yeah, just feeling like the awkward new kid is no fun.

#IThinkIAmNotTalkingToBEnough #AtAClassTheOtherWeekINoticedThatOtherPeopleWereTalkingALotMoreToTheirBabies

Sometimes it is negative to compare yourself to other Mums, but this was something that was a positive recognition – what can I be doing better at? Often I will just daydream when playing with B and go into myself a bit too much.

#IThinkIMadeAGoodStartOnItThisMorningButItIsHardToHaveALotOfEnergyAllDayLong

I watched these videos last night, which have inspired me.

#IJustNeedToKeepGoingOutAndHopefullySoonPeopleWillStartToRecogniseUsAndChatMore #IGuessInAnIdealWorldWeWouldHaveMorePeopleToHangOutWithDuringTheWeekToHelpTheDaysGoByInAMoreFunWay

I seem to be a bit obsessed with wanting to talk to people. I don’t know if I really even want to – it just seems like a way to pass time. I just want the best for B, and for her to get enough stimulation everyday and to be happy. I’m sure she’s fine and I need to stop worrying so much.

#ItWillProbablyHappenButNowIsNotTheBestTimeOfTheYearAndALotOfTheClassesAreVeryStopStart #INeedToJustFocusOnWhatIHaveAndMakeTheBestOfThings

It’s such a weird time. Mothering is the most intense thing I have ever done in my life. It’s good that we see my Mum and she looks after B for a bit while I cook and do whatever.

Weaning is stressing me out. It’s just full on. Before all we had to do was give her milk – now I’m having to meal prep more and things. Soon it will feel normal, but at the moment it just feels like a lot.

I don’t think this was a great post. I was just trying to write hashtags and this post while B was asleep. I need to think about the photos now. I think with pictures of me crying at least it’s an easy thing to do and share, but I want to try to do something more creative/me.

(23rd December:)Well, there’s a picture of me with my head on a table. I guess it sums up how I felt, but I did do others that were less dramatic. I couldn’t decide between a few, but Tiago said he liked this one best. Sometimes when T says a photo is his favourite it makes me realise that I don’t like the picture, but in this case I went with it.


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Imitating B By Putting Baby Rice On My Face (28th November 2020)

Self-portrait with baby rice around my mouth
Imitating B By Putting Baby Rice On My Face (28th November 2020)
 
#WellInMyLastDiaryEntryISaidWeWereGoingToStartWeaningBSoon
#InTheEndIGaveBSomeBabyRiceTheSameDay
#SheWasABitUnsureAtFirstButThenSheAteItAllUpSoIGaveHerAnotherMealOfItTheSameDay
#IMixedItWithHerUsualMilkThenGaveHerTheRestOfTheBottleAfter
#WeDidTwoDaysOfThatThenITriedGivingHerSomePotato
#SheChokedWhichPutMeOffSoSheHadSomeBabyRiceAtDinner
#YesterdayITriedAgainAndItWasABitMoreSuccessful
#IThinkTodayIWillTryCarrot
#ThisPictureIsImitatingTheMessThatBGetsHerselfInto
#WeGotAnElectricChopperWhichWillHopefullyBlendHerFoodBetterNowAndSpeedUpCookingOurMeals
#IHaveGivenUpWithBreastfeedingAsDidNotWantToForThreeDaysAndAfterThatIStoppedTrying
#IWasFeelingMorePositiveAboutThingsButIThinkByTheEndOfTheWeekIStartToFeelSoTired
#AndTwoNightsAgoBWasWakingUpConstantlySoYesterdayIWasStrugglingABit
#AlsoSomeoneHadMentionedThatWearingBabiesSoTheyFaceForwardIsNotGoodForThem
#SoIFeelABitTornAsIWasReallyEnjoyingDoingThat
#YesterdayICarriedHerFacingMeAndSheFellAsleepWithin5Minutes
#SoIEndedUpJustWearingHerForAnHourWhileSheHadANap
#TypicallySheSometimesDoesNotNapForVeryLongAndItWasNotEvenHerNaptime
#ITriedToTakeAPhotoInTheKitchenOfMeAwkwardlyEatingMyLunchButTheyWereSoOutOfFocusAsItWasJustOnMyPhone
#MyBackIsReallyHurtingMeThoughNowSoIMightJustAlternateThings
#ForTheNextCoupleOfDaysIWillJustTakeHerOutInHerPushchairAndHopefullyItWillBeJustAsMuchFun
#IHaveLikedTheInteractionsThatWeHaveHadWithPeopleLatelySoMaybeIJustNeedToBeBetterAtEyeContactWhenSheIsInThePushchair
#UsuallyIJustLookDownAtTheWheelsAndPretendToJustCheckThatWeAreNotGoingOnTheGrass
#ItDoesNotMatterIfItGetsDirtyReallyButItIsALotEasierToJustWalkAcrossTheGrassAwayFromPeopleWhenCarryingHer
#ThePushchairIsJustABitBigAndAnnoyingAtTimesSoIFeelMoreFreeWithTheCarrier
#SoIThinkIWillCarryHerFacingOutOccasionally
#SheSeemsToEnjoyItAndOurWalksAreGenerallyShorterNowAsITendToGoOutTwiceADayInstead
#BeforeWhenIWasPushingHerToSleepIWouldWalkSoFarWhichWouldTireMeOut
#NowIWantHerToEnjoyHerAwakeTimeAndIDoNotPushHerSoFar
#IHaveMyWorkshopTomorrowWhichIAmNervousAboutButIThinkItWillBeOkay

(I wrote this on 28th November.)

#WellInMyLastDiaryEntryISaidWeWereGoingToStartWeaningBSoon

Oh, I actually said ‘#IAlsoMightGiveHerSomeBabyRiceTodayButIFeelLikeISayThatEveryday’

#InTheEndIGaveBSomeBabyRiceTheSameDay

So I actually did do it. I was feeling stressed about it, but suddenly I felt like that day was the day.

#SheWasABitUnsureAtFirstButThenSheAteItAllUpSoIGaveHerAnotherMealOfItTheSameDay

I thought she was going to spit it out, but she was quite enthusiastic. I was surprised. I thought she would not eat any of it.

There was a lot of it on her face though – hence the photo.

#IMixedItWithHerUsualMilkThenGaveHerTheRestOfTheBottleAfter

I thought she would not drink all of her milk, but she did.

#WeDidTwoDaysOfThatThenITriedGivingHerSomePotato #SheChokedWhichPutMeOffSoSheHadSomeBabyRiceAtDinner

It was a bit scary, so we built up our confidence again with the baby rice.

#YesterdayITriedAgainAndItWasABitMoreSuccessful

She still did not seem too impressed though. The lumps were worrying me though I did mash it up a lot.

#IThinkTodayIWillTryCarrot

I am typing this now in the kitchen while I am boiling some carrot. B is having a nap. This seems like a good time to do some cooking. The other day when I was boiling the potatoes I was also making a meal for the day.

(Carrot seems more successful than potato.)

#ThisPictureIsImitatingTheMessThatBGetsHerselfInto

There are some of me with it coming out of my mouth. I don’t know which one I will choose yet. Sorry if it is a disgusting choice…

(13th December: Well, I went for a more ‘classic’ option.)

#WeGotAnElectricChopperWhichWillHopefullyBlendHerFoodBetterNowAndSpeedUpCookingOurMeals

I am going to puree some carrot, but also have some bigger slices for her to try in the baby led weaning style.

Being vegetarian I feel like most of cooking is just chopping veg, so hopefully it will be good.

#IHaveGivenUpWithBreastfeedingAsDidNotWantToForThreeDaysAndAfterThatIStoppedTrying

I am sad about it. Maybe it is not too late… Maybe I should try? They’ve just been out of action for at least 5 days now, so I feel like the time has passed. I have gone back to wearing non-maternity bras now, which feels a bit weird.

My Mum said I wouldn’t be breastfed after 4 months…

(After I finished this B woke up and I felt compelled to try breastfeeding her. Some milk did actually come out, and though I had to keep swapping B over from side to side I think she did get something. Afterwards I winded her and she burped quite loudly, but it could have been left over from earlier? I think I might try to see if I can get my production up.)

#IWasFeelingMorePositiveAboutThingsButIThinkByTheEndOfTheWeekIStartToFeelSoTired

By Friday I am just knackered.

#AndTwoNightsAgoBWasWakingUpConstantlySoYesterdayIWasStrugglingABit

It was a long night. Last night she slept better but typically my brain was so awake at 2am after she woke up that I did not sleep for at least an hour.

#AlsoSomeoneHadMentionedThatWearingBabiesSoTheyFaceForwardIsNotGoodForThem #SoIFeelABitTornAsIWasReallyEnjoyingDoingThat

I read an article about it, but it seemed to be about babies that are a lot younger. It said that it overstimulates them, but one of the reasons why I like her to face out is so that she can see everything, and for a change of scenery during playtimes.

#YesterdayICarriedHerFacingMeAndSheFellAsleepWithin5Minutes

I realised that we were going out half an hour from naptime, so I thought we’d be quick.

I kept trying to keep her awake, but she fell asleep after 5 minutes.

#SoIEndedUpJustWearingHerForAnHourWhileSheHadANap

I could not be bothered to keep walking around with her, so I just came home.

#TypicallySheSometimesDoesNotNapForVeryLongAndItWasNotEvenHerNaptime

I was hoping it would be a 30 minute nap at the most, but her previous one had only been 30 minutes.

#ITriedToTakeAPhotoInTheKitchenOfMeAwkwardlyEatingMyLunchButTheyWereSoOutOfFocusAsItWasJustOnMyPhone

I got Tiago to put some food in the pan for me to reheat so the noise wouldn’t wake her up. I just watched Taskmaster on my phone, while awkwardly navigating my food over her head.

#MyBackIsReallyHurtingMeThoughNowSoIMightJustAlternateThings

I stretch quite a lot, so I do wonder how people who don’t stretch cope.

#ForTheNextCoupleOfDaysIWillJustTakeHerOutInHerPushchairAndHopefullyItWillBeJustAsMuchFun

I need to get a rain cover for the carrier, so at least her pushchair has one. It is a wet day today.

#IHaveLikedTheInteractionsThatWeHaveHadWithPeopleLatelySoMaybeIJustNeedToBeBetterAtEyeContactWhenSheIsInThePushchair

I usually have the hood of her pushchair pulled over her, so I can’t really see her and she is usually asleep so of course people will not interact with her. I just need to talk to her more in the pushchair. It doesn’t face me, so hopefully she can just enjoy the world and I can stop more to talk to her and point things out.

#UsuallyIJustLookDownAtTheWheelsAndPretendToJustCheckThatWeAreNotGoingOnTheGrass

Well, I don’t know if I am pretending but it is a thing I do to avoid eye contact.

#ItDoesNotMatterIfItGetsDirtyReallyButItIsALotEasierToJustWalkAcrossTheGrassAwayFromPeopleWhenCarryingHer #ThePushchairIsJustABitBigAndAnnoyingAtTimesSoIFeelMoreFreeWithTheCarrier

It could be worse, but some paths are quite narrow so you have to move. Some people barely leave any space as they go past, whereas others will awkwardly leave what feels like a bit too much space.

#SoIThinkIWillCarryHerFacingOutOccasionally

I’ve spoke to other people about it and they don’t think there is an issue.

#SheSeemsToEnjoyItAndOurWalksAreGenerallyShorterNowAsITendToGoOutTwiceADayInstead #BeforeWhenIWasPushingHerToSleepIWouldWalkSoFarWhichWouldTireMeOut #NowIWantHerToEnjoyHerAwakeTimeAndIDoNotPushHerSoFar

The walks are a lot more pleasant now.

#IHaveMyWorkshopTomorrowWhichIAmNervousAboutButIThinkItWillBeOkay

Fingers crossed.


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Imitating B Trying To Eat Her Toes (24th November 2020)

Imitating B Trying To Eat Her Toes (24th November 2020)
 
#ThisShootWasMeJustImitatingBWhenSheDoesTheHappyBabyYogaPoseAndWhenSheTriesToPutHerToesInHerMouth
#ICanSeeHowThePoseGotTheNameNow
#SheHasBeenDoingThisForAWhileButMyPlanOfCopyingHerHasBeenNeglectedForAWhile
#YesterdayITookHerOutForTwoWalksDuringHerAwakeTimes
#HerWakeWindowsAreUsuallyBetweenTwoAndTwoAndAHalfHoursNow
#ThatIsALongTimeToEntertainHer4TimesADay
#SoItMakesSenseToTakeHerOutDuringHerPlaytimesRatherThanNaptimes
#IPutHerForwardFacingInHerCarrierForTheFirstTime
#SheIsOldEnoughNowAndIFiguredItMightBeBetterForLettingHerSeeThings
#FirstITookHerOutInTheMorningAndALotOfPeopleSaidGoodMorningToUsWhichWasReallyNice
#SheJustSeemedToCheerSomePeopleUpAndWeStoppedToTalkToAYoungGirlAndHerFamilyWhoHadPointedAtHer
#IWalkedForABitTooLongAndBFellAsleep
#NextITookHerOutInTheAfternoonButWeDidNotMakeItSoFar
#ThereWereALotOfSchoolKidsAroundWhichFreaksMeOutALittleBitSoNextTimeWeNeedToBeEarlier
#IHadPutSomeLittleBootsOnHerFeet
#ButAfterGettingHomeTheSecondTimeICouldNotFindOneOfThem
#IWaitedForTiagoToFinishAWorkCallSoHeCouldWatchB
#ThenIRetracedOurStepsAndFoundItNotSoFarAwayOnAPath
#SoINeedToBeCarefulAboutTheAmountOfTimeAndKeepAnEyeOnHerBoots
#TheWeatherWasReallyNiceYesterdayButPuttingHerInTheCarrierMightNotBeAGreatPlanForEveryday
#SheHasBeenWakingUpALotAtNightLatelyWhichIsMakingTAndIABitGrumpy
#LastWeekSheWasStillBreastfeedingTwoOrThreeTimesADay
#ButNowSheReallyDoesNotWantToBreastfeedWhichIsABitOfAShame
#IThinkItProbablyHasALotToDoWithHerTeething
#ThoughSometimesIAmTryingToGetHerToLatchOnAndSheJustTipsHerHeadBackAndLooksLonginglyAtAnEmptyBottleThatIForgotToMove
#MyMumSaysThatSheWantedToBreastfeedMySistersAndIForLongerButWeStoppedBeingInterestedAround4Months
#TodayIMightJustTryFormulaFeedingHerForEveryFeedAndSeeIfThatHelpsWithHerSleep
#IAlsoMightGiveHerSomeBabyRiceTodayButIFeelLikeISayThatEveryday
#IAmCurrentlySpendingALotOfMyFreeTimePlanningForAHashtagWorkshop
#IAmNervousAboutItButIHopeThatItGoesWellAndThatPeopleEnjoyIt

(I wrote this on 24th November.)

#ThisShootWasMeJustImitatingBWhenSheDoesTheHappyBabyYogaPoseAndWhenSheTriesToPutHerToesInHerMouth

Classic B.

#ICanSeeHowThePoseGotTheNameNow

I could kind of see how it did before, but having a baby has made it very clear.

#SheHasBeenDoingThisForAWhileButMyPlanOfCopyingHerHasBeenNeglectedForAWhile

I have a list of shoot ideas, but actually this idea is not as old as I thought – I added it on 22nd October.

#YesterdayITookHerOutForTwoWalksDuringHerAwakeTimes #HerWakeWindowsAreUsuallyBetweenTwoAndTwoAndAHalfHoursNow #ThatIsALongTimeToEntertainHer4TimesADay #SoItMakesSenseToTakeHerOutDuringHerPlaytimesRatherThanNaptimes

Well, I know that during her awake times I am feeding her, changing her and other things, but still it leaves a lot of play time.

#IPutHerForwardFacingInHerCarrierForTheFirstTime

The day before Tiago had taken her out facing him.

#SheIsOldEnoughNowAndIFiguredItMightBeBetterForLettingHerSeeThings

Just another one of those things that seems scary to do, but once you do it it seems easy. I’ll just have to see if I can higher her up anymore.

#FirstITookHerOutInTheMorningAndALotOfPeopleSaidGoodMorningToUsWhichWasReallyNice

At one point I think I was having a competition with myself to see how many I could get to say good morning to me or back to me.

#SheJustSeemedToCheerSomePeopleUpAndWeStoppedToTalkToAYoungGirlAndHerFamilyWhoHadPointedAtHer

With her being on me it’s a lot easier to move out of the way of people too if paths are too narrow.

#IWalkedForABitTooLongAndBFellAsleep

So when I got home and wanted her to have a nap, she took longer to fall asleep than usual.

#NextITookHerOutInTheAfternoonButWeDidNotMakeItSoFar #ThereWereALotOfSchoolKidsAroundWhichFreaksMeOutALittleBitSoNextTimeWeNeedToBeEarlier

It just gets a bit busy when all the kids are walking home from school and they seem to hang around more than I thought they would. I think they all get let out at different times too so when one lot seems to clear, a new lot soon appears.

#IHadPutSomeLittleBootsOnHerFeet #ButAfterGettingHomeTheSecondTimeICouldNotFindOneOfThem

Classic me. I thought it must have just fallen off when I lifted her out of her carrier, but I couldn’t see it.

#IWaitedForTiagoToFinishAWorkCallSoHeCouldWatchB #ThenIRetracedOurStepsAndFoundItNotSoFarAwayOnAPath

I was so proud of myself for finding it. I was worried as I had walked across a big patch of grass, which would have made it easier to find, but it had probably dropped just before I went onto it.

#SoINeedToBeCarefulAboutTheAmountOfTimeAndKeepAnEyeOnHerBoots

Shorter walks. Check boots. Got it.

#TheWeatherWasReallyNiceYesterdayButPuttingHerInTheCarrierMightNotBeAGreatPlanForEveryday

I need to get a rain cover for it…

#SheHasBeenWakingUpALotAtNightLatelyWhichIsMakingTAndIABitGrumpy

When she woke up for the last time at 6.30am it felt like it was 3am and I was like erghhhh.

#LastWeekSheWasStillBreastfeedingTwoOrThreeTimesADay

Great.

#ButNowSheReallyDoesNotWantToBreastfeedWhichIsABitOfAShame

I am a bit saddened by it.

#IThinkItProbablyHasALotToDoWithHerTeething

Yeah, it can’t be too comfortable at the moment. She has been teething for about a month, which doesn’t help.

#ThoughSometimesIAmTryingToGetHerToLatchOnAndSheJustTipsHerHeadBackAndLooksLonginglyAtAnEmptyBottleThatIForgotToMove

It’s probably nicer to teethe on.

#MyMumSaysThatSheWantedToBreastfeedMySistersAndIForLongerButWeStoppedBeingInterestedAround4Months

Maybe she’s more like me than she looks… (She looks more like Tiago.)

#TodayIMightJustTryFormulaFeedingHerForEveryFeedAndSeeIfThatHelpsWithHerSleep #IAlsoMightGiveHerSomeBabyRiceTodayButIFeelLikeISayThatEveryday

Between writing the hashtags and writing this blog post I did give her some. It went well. If I remember I’ll probably talk about it in my next blog post.

#IAmCurrentlySpendingALotOfMyFreeTimePlanningForAHashtagWorkshop #IAmNervousAboutItButIHopeThatItGoesWellAndThatPeopleEnjoyIt

Luckily I did a university lecture last week, so I am feeling a little less awkward about it. I really hope that people enjoy it.

I was going to post a link to the workshop, but by the time I post this it will have already happened. Wishing myself luck from the past and future…


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Categories
Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Fourth Family Portrait (21st November 2020)

Family portrait - Tiago and B sat on an exercise ball with me holding onto both of them. B's face is covered by a pasted section of her feet.
Fourth Family Portrait (21st November 2020)
 
#HurrahWeFinallyManagedToDoAnotherFamilyPortraitShoot
#ThisPhotoCouldHaveBeenTakenInLiverpoolAsItIsJustUsAgainstAPlainWall
#TiagoInstinctivelySatWithBOnTheExerciseBallSoIThoughtIWouldJustInsertMyselfIntoThePicture
#IFoundTheBallWhileUnpackingAndThoughtIWouldInflateIt
#IPumpedItUpInTheHallwayThoughAndItWasTooBigToGetThroughTheDoorway
#SoIHadToLetSomeAirOutAndAmYetToFullyInflateItAgain
#BHasQuiteEasilyTransitionedTo3NapsADayInsteadOf4ThisWeek
#ThoughSheIsNotSleepingThroughTheNightAtTheMoment
#WhichMayBeDueToTheTransitionOrTeethingOrFeedingOrAnythingAndEverythingIGuess
#YesterdayIThoughtThatBWasImitatingGivingMeAKissOnTheCheek
#ButIThinkSheWasActuallyJustTryingToTeethOnMe
#WeHaveSomeBabyRiceToGiveHerWhichIPlannedToStartHerWithThisWeekend
#TiagoWasWatchingATVShowAboutKidsAndFussyEatingTheOtherDay
#WeWantHerToHavePositiveExperiencesAroundFoodSoIThinkWeWillStartWeaningWhenWeAreLessStressed
#MovingIntoSomeoneElsesHouseHasBeenABitOfAShock
#BWantedToDrinkFromMyWaterBottleTheOtherDaySoSheHasACupWithWaterInItNow
#IThinkSheWasHopingThatItWouldBeFullOfMilkThoughSoSheSeemsDisappointed
#WithBHavingOneLessNapADayMyTimeForMyselfHasBeenReduced
#IShouldStartTakingHerForWalksDuringHerAwakeTimeAndJustTalkToHerAboutWhatWeSeeOutside
#ThenICanUseHerNapTimesToDoChoresAndABitOfWork
#ItSeemsToRainDuringMostOfHerWalksAtTheMomentButIStillGoOutAnyways
#TheOtherDayIReallyNeededANapButISpentBsNapTimeLookingForPlayAndStayGroups
#TheyAllSeemToBeClosedUntilNextYear
#BOnlyHadAShortNapSoIFeltMoreTiredAndABitDeflated
#IDoFeelABitMorePositiveInSomeWaysThough
#IJustNeedToGetBackToDoingToDoListsAndTryToPlanMyDaysBetter
#MySpaceToWorkInIsNotPerfectAsTheCeilingIsNotThatHighAndItSlopesInPlaces
#ButItWillDoAndIJustNeedToMoveThingsAroundMore
#HopefullyIWillSeeACoupleOfFriendsIndividuallyForWalksThisWeek
#AndIAmYetToMakeDanceVideosHereSoHopefullyIWillTomorrow

Hello, it’s 21st November. I’m going to quickly try to write this blog post while T and B are having a nap…

#HurrahWeFinallyManagedToDoAnotherFamilyPortraitShoot

I did plan to do it last weekend, but it never happened.

I got a bit stressed today thinking it would not happen again, but we did it, and Tiago said it was nice to just take pictures and not think about much else.

#ThisPhotoCouldHaveBeenTakenInLiverpoolAsItIsJustUsAgainstAPlainWall

Classic.

(Though in Liverpool often the pictures were quite blue due to the UV covering we had on the windows – now they seem quite red.)

#TiagoInstinctivelySatWithBOnTheExerciseBallSoIThoughtIWouldJustInsertMyselfIntoThePicture

They were lying on the bed originally, but the light was fading so I thought we should stand against the wall in my ‘studio’. This seemed nicer though.

#IFoundTheBallWhileUnpackingAndThoughtIWouldInflateIt #IPumpedItUpInTheHallwayThoughAndItWasTooBigToGetThroughTheDoorway #SoIHadToLetSomeAirOutAndAmYetToFullyInflateItAgain

An exciting story.

#BHasQuiteEasilyTransitionedTo3NapsADayInsteadOf4ThisWeek

Well her naps have been all over the place. The app I use to keep track of things thinks she is still on 5 naps a day, but I was confused the other day as I do not remember dropping it to 4. I guess it just happened though when I moved her to the 1 hour 30, 1.45 x 2, 2 x 2 (wake window) schedule.

Now it is more 2 hours, then 3 x 2.5ish.

#ThoughSheIsNotSleepingThroughTheNightAtTheMoment #WhichMayBeDueToTheTransitionOrTeethingOrFeedingOrAnythingAndEverythingIGuess

It’s hard to tell why…

#YesterdayIThoughtThatBWasImitatingGivingMeAKissOnTheCheek

I say imitating as she was not actually giving me a kiss – more just putting her face against mine with her mouth open.

#ButIThinkSheWasActuallyJustTryingToTeethOnMe

Lovely.

#WeHaveSomeBabyRiceToGiveHerWhichIPlannedToStartHerWithThisWeekend #TiagoWasWatchingATVShowAboutKidsAndFussyEatingTheOtherDay #WeWantHerToHavePositiveExperiencesAroundFoodSoIThinkWeWillStartWeaningWhenWeAreLessStressed

I said we were going to start at 6 months, but I think it would not hurt to try a bit earlier. However, I think we need to be completely relaxed when we do otherwise I think it will not be such a great experience for B. Perhaps next weekend?

#MovingIntoSomeoneElsesHouseHasBeenABitOfAShock

I feel like I should not talk about certain things, so I’ll leave it at that.

(4th December – Things are fine now.)

#BWantedToDrinkFromMyWaterBottleTheOtherDaySoSheHasACupWithWaterInItNow

I usually drink from a water bottle instead of a glass as I get worried that it will get knocked over, so B was trying to grab it with her mouth wide open. I went to give her some, but I thought that maybe it wasn’t that safe. So now she has a sippy cup.

#IThinkSheWasHopingThatItWouldBeFullOfMilkThoughSoSheSeemsDisappointed

I think she is actually just teething on it more than anything else.

#WithBHavingOneLessNapADayMyTimeForMyselfHasBeenReduced #IShouldStartTakingHerForWalksDuringHerAwakeTimeAndJustTalkToHerAboutWhatWeSeeOutside

I imagine us sitting on a bench with her staring up at the trees. Maybe then some people might talk to us? I sound desperate to talk to people… My sister is sending her a pram suit, so once we get that then maybe I can try her on the local swings too.

#ThenICanUseHerNapTimesToDoChoresAndABitOfWork

Fingers crossed.

#ItSeemsToRainDuringMostOfHerWalksAtTheMomentButIStillGoOutAnyways

I guess now isn’t the time to be sitting on benches and discovering playgrounds, but we can try. There are always some nicer days…

#TheOtherDayIReallyNeededANapButISpentBsNapTimeLookingForPlayAndStayGroups

I just lay in bed intending to have a nap, but felt like I needed to find a group. At the moment I like the idea of classes or a group, but I like the idea of going somewhere and just talking and chilling a bit.

#TheyAllSeemToBeClosedUntilNextYear

Great.

#BOnlyHadAShortNapSoIFeltMoreTiredAndABitDeflated

I was hoping she would sleep for an hour, but she had half an hour.

#IDoFeelABitMorePositiveInSomeWaysThough

I think I just realise how lucky we are, so I shouldn’t be so darn negative all the time. It’s boring to whine so much.

#IJustNeedToGetBackToDoingToDoListsAndTryToPlanMyDaysBetter

I used to write to do lists, but I haven’t lately. Now that I have a desk to work at and I’ve found a notepad and pen I guess it is easier to start again.

#MySpaceToWorkInIsNotPerfectAsTheCeilingIsNotThatHighAndItSlopesInPlaces #ButItWillDoAndIJustNeedToMoveThingsAroundMore

It is more than I thought I would have really, so that is good. My one concern about moving was where would I make work.

#HopefullyIWillSeeACoupleOfFriendsIndividuallyForWalksThisWeek

That would be nice. I’ve only seen family since moving, which is lovely of course, but it’ll be great to see other people too.

#AndIAmYetToMakeDanceVideosHereSoHopefullyIWillTomorrow

Fingers crossed. Hopefully I will be inserting a video below of new ones…

(4th December – I’ve managed to make 5 videos over 2 sessions so far. That’s better than nothing!

Here’s one…

)


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Categories
Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Third Family Portrait (2nd October 2020)

(I wrote this on 2nd October 2020, whilst dancing in my chair to You Know Me Better by Róisín Murphy on repeat. I haven’t listened to music properly in a while and it feels really good.

I’ve been making a big batch of dance videos every 2 weeks now and I’m looking forward to hopefully making some more tomorrow.)

<19th October – I made some, but I’m not sure if it was the next day. I am planning to dance to a new Róisín Murphy song in my next bath of videos.

I’ve been trying to post this all day, but I just haven’t had the time. I’m hoping that I can now while B is supposed to be having a catnap, but I can hear her making noise…>

Me dancing to the song, whilst 3 months pregnant…

Anyways…

I think this photo sums up our family quite well in some way. Me looking at the camera, and Tiago and B not. It almost looks like two photos have been edited together or something.

Third Family Portrait (2nd October 2020)
 
#WhoopsICanNotBelieveItHasBeenAMonthAndAHalfSinceTheLastFamilyPortrait
#WeHadPlannedToDoItEarlierInTheDayButInTheEndItWasGettingLateAndBWasGettingRestless
#TypicallyIHadToldSomeoneThatHerSleepingWasNotThatBadAndThenSheTookAgesToSettleAtBedtime
#HerBedtimeIsUsuallyBetween7And8WithADreamFeedAround10
#AndTheLastFewNightsIHaveNotFedHerUntil7InTheMorning
#ThoughSheNormallyWakesUpQuiteABit
#LastNightSheWokeUpLessButIStillFeltLikeIHadOnlySleptFor5Minutes
#IHaveBeenHavingANapEverydayLately
#IAmNotSureIfItIsParentingTheWeatherLifeOrEverything
#IThinkMyPeriodMayHaveStarted
#IHaveNotHadOneSinceSeptember2019AndTypicallyWeAreGoingSwimmingTomorrow
#IWasHopingToGoWithoutThemForABitLonger
#YesterdayTiagoCommentedThatBWasLookingABitTooBigInHerBassinet
#SoLastNightIAssembledTheChairElementOfHerPushchairAndSheWentInItForTheFirstTimeToday
#NewRulesGotAnnouncedForLiverpool
#NoMeetingUpWithOtherPeopleInsideForAnyReason
#AndMeetingUpOutsideIsNotRecommended
#TheNotRecommendedStuffIsABitAnnoying
#EitherWeAreAllowedOrWeAreNot
#AnywaysWeWentToTheCityCentreTodayToGetFalafelWraps
#IFoundTheWholeExperienceSoStressfulThatIWillNotBeWalkingThereAgainAnytimeSoon
#PeopleDoNotCareAboutSocialDistancingAndIJustFeltAnxiousTheWholeTime
#ItWasTooColdToEatOutsideSoWeWalkedHomeWithThem
#TiagoAteHisWhilstIFedBAndAfterAWhileIWasSoHungryThatIDecidedToEatItOverHer
#YesterdayWeAlsoStartedToPutHerInHer3To6MonthsOnesies
#SheHasALotOfTheSamePatternsAsHer0To3MonthsOnes
#SheHadANiceNewOneOnTodayAndIGotFalafelWrapJuiceAllOverIt
#CleverMe
#IAskedTiagoIfHeHadAnythingToSayWithTheHashtagsButHeSaidNo
#IAmNotLookingForwardToHimGoingBackToWorkNextWeek

#WhoopsICanNotBelieveItHasBeenAMonthAndAHalfSinceTheLastFamilyPortrait

Time just flies by. I honestly thought we had already taken a third one, and I was trying to remember the image as I could only remember the second one that we took in August.

#WeHadPlannedToDoItEarlierInTheDayButInTheEndItWasGettingLateAndBWasGettingRestless

T said we could try again tomorrow when ‘we’re all clean and stuff’, but I’m sure one of them will do, and I want this project to be an accurate portrayal of how we look day to day.

#TypicallyIHadToldSomeoneThatHerSleepingWasNotThatBadAndThenSheTookAgesToSettleAtBedtime

I think she got overtired. We follow a schedule, but it just gets a bit messy around bedtime and I usually end up feeding her twice in that awake period.

<Her second nap was unusually bad today. I wonder if she is teething or something.

I had to go and check on her as she is definitely not sleeping now. I only want her to sleep for 20-30 minutes, but it takes more than that to try to get her to sleep at times…>

#HerBedtimeIsUsuallyBetween7And8WithADreamFeedAround10 #AndTheLastFewNightsIHaveNotFedHerUntil7InTheMorning #ThoughSheNormallyWakesUpQuiteABit #LastNightSheWokeUpLessButIStillFeltLikeIHadOnlySleptFor5Minutes

Some nights it feels like I’m up every hour settling her; last night I only woke up twice.

The second time Tiago was awake too and he said that she did one cry and I sat upright straight away. I had assumed that she had been crying for a while and I had only just woken up.

I always feel tired…

<I’ve got B up – the catnap was a failure, so I’ll just feed her shortly and then put her to bed early. T is holding her while I finish this and drink some water.

This morning I didn’t have a nap for the first time in ages, as it’s usually when she naps the best so it’s a good time to get stuff done.>

#IHaveBeenHavingANapEverydayLately

And not feeling bad about it.

#IAmNotSureIfItIsParentingTheWeatherLifeOrEverything

To be fair the coding course is quite mentally tiring, plus everything else. The weather is colder and it is getting darker earlier, which just makes me want to hibernate. Annoyingly it’s the best time of the day to work – it’s currently 20:44. I did some coding earlier in the day, so I think I will just read my book a little tonight instead. Exciting.

#IThinkMyPeriodMayHaveStarted

Just a small amount of blood. I am hoping it goes away quick and is just my body preparing for them. Fun times.

*Cue a massive cramp.* Ergh.

#IHaveNotHadOneSinceSeptember2019AndTypicallyWeAreGoingSwimmingTomorrow

My period tracker app says my period is 350+ days late.

It’s not the end of the world obviously, but to not have had one in so long and then have it start when I am going swimming for the first time in an even longer time is just bloody annoying – does that count as a pun or something?

#IWasHopingToGoWithoutThemForABitLonger

I have heard that some women have not had them for a year or so after giving birth because of breastfeeding.

<In the end it was only very light for 2 days, so was that my period? I don’t know. It was probably my body reminding itself how they work.>

#YesterdayTiagoCommentedThatBWasLookingABitTooBigInHerBassinet #SoLastNightIAssembledTheChairElementOfHerPushchairAndSheWentInItForTheFirstTimeToday

I was thinking that maybe we should ‘upgrade’ her, so when I saw that other Mum friends had moved their babies to chairs I knew it was time.

It’s weird not being able to see her so well, but hopefully she will like looking around at people and things. It’s strange putting her in it, but I guess before long it will become normal. She looks nice and snug in it.

<I am still finding it weird. There is a little flap to check on her, but as she is usually wearing a hat I can’t see what she is doing, so I have to peep around the front.

When it’s windy her footmuff blows up at the bottom where she is too short to have her feet at the moment.>

#NewRulesGotAnnouncedForLiverpool #NoMeetingUpWithOtherPeopleInsideForAnyReason

It did seem a bit dumb that I could not see someone at their house, but I could see them in a place full of other people.

#AndMeetingUpOutsideIsNotRecommended

I did not know this. I just found out tonight. Great…

I get it – they can’t just make lots of exceptions, but there are no baby groups, I can’t get support from my family and now I can’t see the few friends that I have in Liverpool. Obviously it affects everyone and not just us, but it is annoying. What can we do though?

#TheNotRecommendedStuffIsABitAnnoying #EitherWeAreAllowedOrWeAreNot

Meeting in restaurants or pubs was not recommended before, which meant some people probably didn’t but others did.

We met a couple of friends for a hot drink outside of a cafe the other day, and saw a friend for a walk last weekend. Good job we saw them as now we’re not supposed to. It’s all a bit frustrating.

<Well, we’re under tier 3 restrictions now, but it does say you can meet outside.>

#AnywaysWeWentToTheCityCentreTodayToGetFalafelWraps

We had wanted to try them from a particular place for a while. I thought we would go today rather than at the weekend as it would not be so busy in town.

#IFoundTheWholeExperienceSoStressfulThatIWillNotBeWalkingThereAgainAnytimeSoon #PeopleDoNotCareAboutSocialDistancingAndIJustFeltAnxiousTheWholeTime

I think having a pushchair makes it more difficult as you can’t just easily get away from people fast. People have no problem walking super close to you.

A preacher guy wasn’t wearing a mask and came so close to me to try to give me a leaflet. I just said ‘No!’ loudly as I was so freaked out by him coming close to me. I think he made a ‘Ooh’ sound back or something.

#ItWasTooColdToEatOutsideSoWeWalkedHomeWithThem

We just wanted to get home and B needed to be fed.

#TiagoAteHisWhilstIFedBAndAfterAWhileIWasSoHungryThatIDecidedToEatItOverHer

She usually eats for about 30 minutes and I was so hungry.

#YesterdayWeAlsoStartedToPutHerInHer3To6MonthsOnesies #SheHasALotOfTheSamePatternsAsHer0To3MonthsOnes

I remember when the 0-3 months ones were too big on her, but now they’re quite snug so it’s funny seeing her in oversized clothes again.

#SheHadANiceNewOneOnTodayAndIGotFalafelWrapJuiceAllOverIt

Typical.

<She wore another one for the first time the other day and made a mess of it pretty quickly.>

#CleverMe

I should have known it was going to happen. I should have put a tea towel over her… Fail.

#IAskedTiagoIfHeHadAnythingToSayInTheHashtagsButHeSaidNo

He is the man of many words.

#IAmNotLookingForwardToHimGoingBackToWorkNextWeek

I just want us to hang out together as a family all day everyday…


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Categories
Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Portrait Of A Mother Of A Three-Month-Old (15th September 2020)

Me leaning on a table
Portrait Of A Mother Of A Three-Month-Old (15th September 2020)
 
#WhoIsWorriedThatSheWillNotHaveTimeToWriteTheHashtagsBeforeHerBabyWakesUp
#ThatWouldHaveBeenTooLongOfATitle
#ICanNotBelieveSheIsThreeMonthsOldAndIStillCanNotBelieveThatIHaveABaby
#LastNightSheWentFor8HoursBetweenTwoFeeds
#SheDidWakeUpACoupleOfTimesButSheWentBackToSleep
#ThoughNowIAmWorriedAsSheHasSeemedQuiteSleepyToday
#TypicallyWhenSheDoesNotSleepIAmWorriedAndWhenSheDoesIAm
#SheWasStartingToGetCrankyDuringHerBabyMassageClassThisMorningWhichWasARecordingFromLastWeekAsItExpiresTomorrow
#AndWeMissedHerBabyYogaClassSoWeWillHaveToDoThatBeforeWeDoTheNextBabyMassageOne
#SheIsMeantToBeGoingThroughADevelopmentalLeapThoughWhichMightExplainTheTiredness
#YesterdayOurRoutineGotMuckedUpByTravellingAboutSoIThoughtItMightBeALongNight
#WeHadToStopAtAServiceStationForTheFirstTimeWithHer
#WeActuallyHadToStopTwiceAsTheFirstTimeIFedHerAndTheSecondTimeWeChangedHerNappyAsSheWasStillCrying
#WhenSheIsOvertiredItCanGoEitherWay
#ButIThinkHerBeingOvertiredIsTheMainReasonWhySheCries
#SheWasFineWhenIWasHoldingHerButThenSheWouldCryWhenIPutHerDownInHerCot
#NowThatWeSwaddleHerSheHasABitMoreOfANaptimeSlashBedtimeRoutine
#IUsuallyPickHerUpOnceSheIsSwaddledAndSingToHerForABitWhileRockingHer
#OurNewSongIs
#HeyBabyAreYouSleepy
#LetsGoToBedASAP
#ButASAPAsAyEssAyPee
#ISangToHerForAWhileButSheWasStillFussy
#AsSheSleepsInATravelCotThoughIRecentlyRealisedThatICanRockTheBassinetBitToRockHerToSleep
#IPlannedToDoThisShootLaterButIThoughtIMightAsWellTryToDoItNow
#SoTonightICanJustFocusOnCodingOnceIGetMeTime
#IFeelQuiteStressedOutRightNow
#IGuessIJustStartedANewCourseAndIHadNotDoneAShootInAFewDays
#IAlsoHaveNotBeenOnAWalkInACoupleOfDaysSoINeedToMakeSureThatIGoOutToday
#ItIsNiceLookingAfterHerButEveryDayIsTheSameKindOfCycle
 

Apologies for another picture of me in my underwear. I said that I would not change my clothes for shoots, and as the weather is warm whilst I write this (on the 15th September) I am just lounging around like this.

It is just easier for feeding, and as I haven’t been out yet today I haven’t had to put any other clothes on. I guess it is an accurate portrayal of having a summer baby in a warm flat…

(Since writing this the weather has turned and I’ve been enjoying lounging around in a long sleeved top and pyjama bottoms.)

#WhoIsWorriedThatSheWillNotHaveTimeToWriteTheHashtagsBeforeHerBabyWakesUp #ThatWouldHaveBeenTooLongOfATitle

After seeing how long this hashtag is, it definitely would have been too long for the official title. It is annoying when titles are too long for file names or title boxes.

#ICanNotBelieveSheIsThreeMonthsOldAndIStillCanNotBelieveThatIHaveABaby

Will it ever stop being weird? I don’t think so. How has it been 3 months already though?

(I was thinking this morning – 2nd October – that I haven’t said this in a while, but obviously I have. We generally have a few free hours these days between her going to bed and her dream feed, which is when I usually do my coding course. I am so caught up in my own stuff that I do sometimes temporarily forget that I have a kid. That sounds bad, but it is because I still find it weird that I grew a baby inside me.)

#LastNightSheWentFor8HoursBetweenTwoFeeds #SheDidWakeUpACoupleOfTimesButSheWentBackToSleep

I have been trying to go to bed earlier. We ended up getting home late, so I fed her and we all went to bed around 11pm-ish? She woke up at 4am and I gave her her dummy thinking that she would be crying again within 5 minutes. I lay down again and I can’t remember when she next woke up, but in the end I fed her around 7am.

When I say 8 hours between feeds I mean 8 hours from the start of her last one to the start of the next one.

I woke up around 6am and managed to do some yoga, before I woke her up to feed her. I want to start getting up at 7am every day to try to have some kind of a routine.

(2nd October – The last few nights she has gone the whole night without eating until 7am-ish. Last night she only woke up once, whereas the night before she woke up about 6 times, but I just tried to leave her for 5 minutes before intervening, and the night before that she woke up a lot and I usually just offered her the dummy straight away, which shouldn’t be my first response really. I’m learning…)

#ThoughNowIAmWorriedAsSheHasSeemedQuiteSleepyToday

She had a nap around 8.30am, and we both slept until 10.30am. I was supposed to wake her up to feed her around 10… I had to wake her up in the end as she had napped for 2 hours.

#TypicallyWhenSheDoesNotSleepIAmWorriedAndWhenSheDoesIAm

I will keep an eye on her.

(2nd October – Everything was fine; babies are supposed to sleep a lot. I was reading the other day that someone was struggling with their baby was not sleeping so well at night and someone recommended an earlier bed time. Apparently it made a big difference. Before we were aiming for a bedtime of 8pm, but now we try for 7pm-ish. )

#SheWasStartingToGetCrankyDuringHerBabyMassageClassThisMorningWhichWasARecordingFromLastWeekAsItExpiresTomorrow

She has her eyes closed whilst I feed her, so I need to work on keeping her more awake during feeds still. I thought she would not need a nap so soon, but she was getting cranky half way through the video so I thought I’d see if she wanted a nap.

#AndWeMissedHerBabyYogaClassSoWeWillHaveToDoThatBeforeWeDoTheNextBabyMassageOne

Fun fact.

#SheIsMeantToBeGoingThroughADevelopmentalLeapThoughWhichMightExplainTheTiredness

It also says to expect other things like clinginess, loss of appetite and other things. She seems to be feeding well at the moment, though I need to use nipple shields as one is quite painful and she only seems to like the other boob if it has a nipple shield on. I guess it is like sucking a dummy full of milk? The bad one just doesn’t seem to heal though.

(2nd October – I am just using nipple shields all the time now. I know you’re not supposed to, but sore nipples are horrible. I do occasionally go without to try to build up my resistance or something, but it just seems easier to use them. Okay, I’ve guilted myself into using them less.)

#YesterdayOurRoutineGotMuckedUpByTravellingAboutSoIThoughtItMightBeALongNight

It is nice to see people, but I do start to get into some kind of routine at home and it goes out of the window pretty quick.

#WeHadToStopAtAServiceStationForTheFirstTimeWithHer #WeActuallyHadToStopTwiceAsTheFirstTimeIFedHerAndTheSecondTimeWeChangedHerNappyAsSheWasStillCrying

We always try to go anywhere after she has been fed. Sometimes when she is overtired she will sleep after a feed, but not last night.

Before we left the first service station we checked her nappy and it seemed fine. However, as she was crying after we left we thought it might be her nappy so T changed it on the front passenger seat (on a changing mat) at the next service station.

She was still upset after we left there, but she calmed down a little after I played white noise on my phone and tried to sooth her more. I sensed that she might just want to be cuddled, but obviously we couldn’t do that in a moving car.

#WhenSheIsOvertiredItCanGoEitherWay

She can have a long sleep or just wake up loads. I get it though, sometimes the more tired I am the harder it is to sleep. Like when I barely slept for 2 weeks after she was born…

#ButIThinkHerBeingOvertiredIsTheMainReasonWhySheCries

Well she cries for other reasons, but it’s the hardest to fix. Feed? Easy (well, less so with bottles these days). Nappy change? No problem. Over tired? Oh no. I am trying to get better at realising she is tired though.

#SheWasFineWhenIWasHoldingHerButThenSheWouldCryWhenIPutHerDownInHerCot

I realised too late that she was tired.

#NowThatWeSwaddleHerSheHasABitMoreOfANaptimeSlashBedtimeRoutine

As we need to comfort her once she is in the swaddle.

#IUsuallyPickHerUpOnceSheIsSwaddledAndSingToHerForABitWhileRockingHer

It is usually turn on white noise > nappy change > swaddle > comfort > cot.

#OurNewSongIs #HeyBabyAreYouSleepy #LetsGoToBedASAP #ButASAPAsAyEssAyPee #ISangToHerForAWhileButSheWasStillFussy

Well, I made it up today. She did seem to calm down, but was fussy again in her cot.

#AsSheSleepsInATravelCotThoughIRecentlyRealisedThatICanRockTheBassinetBitToRockHerToSleep

I didn’t have to do it for long and she fell asleep. Win.

#IPlannedToDoThisShootLaterButIThoughtIMightAsWellTryToDoItNow #SoTonightICanJustFocusOnCodingOnceIGetMeTime

B was asleep and the food in the oven needed half an hour to cook. You never know when she will wake up, but I managed to do a shoot, hashtags and half off this blog post. I’m writing the rest while she feeds – this is probably why she falls asleep while eating.

So at least I won’t have all of this to worry about tonight. I just need to select the image to accompany all of this…

#IFeelQuiteStressedOutRightNow #IGuessIJustStartedANewCourseAndIHadNotDoneAShootInAFewDays

I do not really like the pictures in this project, but perhaps just doing something is better than nothing. That’s generally how it is with my work, but it would be nice if I really liked the pictures. I used to really like my pregnancy project, but looking at it yesterday maybe it isn’t even that good. I guess it is just a document of a time and that’s fine.

At least I slept well last night and had a good nap this morning.

#IAlsoHaveNotBeenOnAWalkInACoupleOfDaysSoINeedToMakeSureThatIGoOutToday

Like I said when we visit people the routine goes out of the window. I prefer to take her out in her pushchair now, but it does not fit in the car along with everything else. This will be corrected today. I started to listen to Carrie Fisher’s biography as an audiobook whilst on walks. I love the speed up setting – particularly with my library app as you can set it to whatever speed you like. Sometimes 1.25x is too slow and 1.5x is too fast.

#ItIsNiceLookingAfterHerButEveryDayIsTheSameKindOfCycle

Wake up, feed, change, play, nap and repeat all day. I shouldn’t complain as it is rewarding, but my very first self-portraiture project was about the cycle of life. Sometimes I do find the monotonous of existing a bit dull, particularly during a pandemic. Rules are changing again, so we won’t be able to visit my Nan at home for now. Hopefully it changes again soon but who knows. We nearly didn’t make the visit, so it was lucky that we got to see her at home when we did.

(2nd October – Well, Liverpool has more lockdown rules now. So for now we can’t see anyone in their homes or gardens, and yesterday they announced a new rule of not mixing in pubs and restaurants – before it was just advised against.)

(I felt much better after finishing this post as I had been productive. B and I had a playtime full of smiles, and I got out for a walk. Win.)


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Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Motherhood Is So Glamorous (10th September 2020)

Me with a bashed nose, chocolate oat milk moustache, and toast crumbs on my chest
Motherhood Is So Glamorous (10th September 2020)
 
#HereIsAPictureOfMeWithMyBashedNoseABitOfAChocolateOatMilkMoustacheAndToastedSandwichCrumbsOnMyChestAndBra
#OutOfShotIsBAsleepOnMeAndOverMyRightArm
#ThisWasThisAtAroundTenThirtyThisMorningAndItIsNearlyTwoNow
#IStillHaveNotShoweredAndIAmFindingCrumbsAllInMyBra
#IWasGoingToPutBDownForANapAfterSheHadFinishedEating
#ICanNotKeepBAwakeDuringFeeding
#IAmGoingToHaveToDoAllTheTipsLikeKeepPuttingHerDown
#IDoNotLikeThatALotOfTheBabySleepTerminologyIsTheSameAsSayingGoodbyeToAPet
#INormallyBlowRaspberriesWhichUsuallyStartlesHerAwakeTheFirstTimeThenHerResponsesGetWeakerUntilSheStopsRespondingToTheSound
#SoThisMorningSheFellAsleepOnMeAndIThoughtOkaySheCanJustNapOnMeThisTime
#AfterAWhileITextedTForHelpAndHeBroughtMeAToastedSandwichAndAGlassOfChocolateMilk
#ILikeToHaveMyChocolateMilkInbetweenBitesButTheGlassWouldHaveFallenOverOnTheBedSoIHadToDrinkItAllBeforeIStartedToEat
#IHadToEatItWithMyLeftHandAndItWasQuiteMessyHenceAllTheCrumbs
#IKnowItIsAHardLife
#IAlwaysGetAMoustacheWheneverIDrinkSomethingSoBWillProbablyNotMakeMuchMoreOfAMessThanMe
#IHaveACutOnMyNoseFromSmashingItRoundACornerOfTheBedroomWall
#ItHurtsABitButItCouldHaveBeenALotWorse
#WeTriedHerInASwaddleSleepingBagForTheFirstTimeYesterday
#ForHerFirstNapInItSheFellAsleepStraightAway
#LaterOnWePutHerToBedAndWeWentToBedAboutAnHourAfterwardsAndThenSheDidNotWakeUpForFiveHours
#ITriedToDoAllTheTipsToElongateHerSleepButSheWasNotHavingIt
#SometimesTheyWorkAndSometimesTheyDoNot
#WeDecidedToSkipHerDreamFeedAsWeWereGoingToBedAnyways
#TheNightBeforeWeDidThatButSheWokeUpWhenIWouldHaveUsuallyDoneTheDreamFeedAnyways
#GoingToBedNotLongAfterHerIsDefinitelyAGoodWayForMeToNotFeelSoCrankyInTheNightThough
#SheWouldNotGoBackToSleepForAnHourButIJustReadMyBookWhilstGentlyEncouragingHerHereAndThere
#ItIsABetterApproachForMeThanJustTryingToGoBackToSleepAsWhenItTakesHerAgesIGetAnnoyedIfIAmActivelyTryingToSleep
#SheStartedToFallAsleepDuringLunchTodaySoWePutHerInHerCot
#SheFellAsleepQuickAndThenWokeUpAbout20MinutesAgoButTJustTouchedHerChestAndSheWentBackToSleep
#SheIsApparentlyDueToHaveADevelopmentalLeapWhichMightExplainWhySheHasBeenABitDifferentLately

(I wrote this post on 10th September.)

#HereIsAPictureOfMeWithMyBashedNoseABitOfAChocolateOatMilkMoustacheAndToastedSandwichCrumbsOnMyChestAndBra #OutOfShotIsBAsleepOnMeAndOverMyRightArm #ThisWasThisAtAroundTenThirtyThisMorningAndItIsNearlyTwoNow #IStillHaveNotShoweredAndIAmFindingCrumbsAllInMyBra

I did not remove the crumbs until after she had woken up, and I could brush them onto the plate.

#IWasGoingToPutBDownForANapAfterSheHadFinishedEating #ICanNotKeepBAwakeDuringFeeding #IAmGoingToHaveToDoAllTheTipsLikeKeepPuttingHerDown

Every time I really try to keep her awake, but I think it just makes her tired. She does not do it so much when we bottle feed her, but that is usually once a day lately.

#IDoNotLikeThatALotOfTheBabySleepTerminologyIsTheSameAsSayingGoodbyeToAPet

I think about this a lot…

#INormallyBlowRaspberriesWhichUsuallyStartlesHerAwakeTheFirstTimeThenHerResponsesGetWeakerUntilSheStopsRespondingToTheSound

She looks really shocked the first time, then she gradually just doesn’t notice it anymore.

#SoThisMorningSheFellAsleepOnMeAndIThoughtOkaySheCanJustNapOnMeThisTime

We had an online class coming up, but I knew we could just do the recording if she missed it.

(We haven’t made it to a live class this term since the first one. I do just find it a bit awkward.)

#AfterAWhileITextedTForHelpAndHeBroughtMeAToastedSandwichAndAGlassOfChocolateMilk #ILikeToHaveMyChocolateMilkInbetweenBitesButTheGlassWouldHaveFallenOverOnTheBedSoIHadToDrinkItAllBeforeIStartedToEat #IHadToEatItWithMyLeftHandAndItWasQuiteMessyHenceAllTheCrumbs #IKnowItIsAHardLife

My hashtags are so boring most of the time. Thanks to Tiago for bringing me breakfast in bed though 🙂

(I wrote breakfast in bread on accident, whoops.)

#IAlwaysGetAMoustacheWheneverIDrinkSomethingSoBWillProbablyNotMakeMuchMoreOfAMessThanMe

I’m sat at the dining table writing this. Looking down I can see so many crumbs around my seat… We’ve started to use a fabric table cloth now so I am hoping this will help me make less mess, but it seems like there is more on the floor instead of the table now.

#IHaveACutOnMyNoseFromSmashingItRoundACornerOfTheBedroomWall #ItHurtsABitButItCouldHaveBeenALotWorse

See my last project post.

#WeTriedHerInASwaddleSleepingBagForTheFirstTimeYesterday #ForHerFirstNapInItSheFellAsleepStraightAway

We had thought about getting one before. Obviously it won’t work every time, but we were impressed. We had to comfort her first though as it must be a shock after being able to throw all your limbs around to suddenly be confined.

(29th: We’ve put her in her winter one now as it’s been so cold. She seems to like it. The other day I tried to just use it as a sleeping bag (with her arms out), but her hands got cold so we’re swaddling her again for now. I’m quite jealous – it looks very cosy!)

#LaterOnWePutHerToBedAndWeWentToBedAboutAnHourAfterwardsAndThenSheDidNotWakeUpForFiveHours

Two nights in a row!

#ITriedToDoAllTheTipsToElongateHerSleepButSheWasNotHavingIt #SometimesTheyWorkAndSometimesTheyDoNot

There are 6 steps and sometimes the third step works, but not last night.

#WeDecidedToSkipHerDreamFeedAsWeWereGoingToBedAnyways #TheNightBeforeWeDidThatButSheWokeUpWhenIWouldHaveUsuallyDoneTheDreamFeedAnyways #GoingToBedNotLongAfterHerIsDefinitelyAGoodWayForMeToNotFeelSoCrankyInTheNightThough

If she wakes up around the time we’d do a dream feed then it’s fine, but if not then that’s probably her longest period of sleep for the night so it’s better that I get some sleep too. Before I would stay up to do her dream feed, then she would not fall back to sleep for ages and I’d get so cranky as I hadn’t slept so it wasn’t good.

(29th: Tiago’s been doing her dream feed now with a bottle.)

#SheWouldNotGoBackToSleepForAnHourButIJustReadMyBookWhilstGentlyEncouragingHerHereAndThere #ItIsABetterApproachForMeThanJustTryingToGoBackToSleepAsWhenItTakesHerAgesIGetAnnoyedIfIAmActivelyTryingToSleep

I like to read at weird times of the night now. Though I wake up at 5/6 when she wants her next feed and I feel fine. Tiago usually looks after her once I’ve finished feeding, so I can get some more sleep but then I usually wake up feeling awful. I’m going to have to start getting up at 7am like a lot of the sleep schedules recommend. It won’t be so bad now if she is sleeping better.

(29th: At the moment I’m reading House of Glass by Hadley Freeman.)

#SheStartedToFallAsleepDuringLunchTodaySoWePutHerInHerCot

I wasn’t sure whether or not to put her to sleep before we started to eat. I was bouncing her in her bouncer and saw her eyes closing, so to bed she went.

#SheFellAsleepQuickAndThenWokeUpAbout20MinutesAgoButTJustTouchedHerChestAndSheWentBackToSleep

Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t, though I need to wake her up to feed her now. She’s been asleep for about 90 minutes.

#SheIsApparentlyDueToHaveADevelopmentalLeapWhichMightExplainWhySheHasBeenABitDifferentLately

It is either that or a sleep regression, or a bit of both. We both feel a bit more confident now about navigating them. We’ll see what I say in the next post…


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Oh Me, Oh Mãe

I Smacked My Nose Round The Corner Of A Wall (9th September 2020)

I Smacked My Nose Round The Corner Of A Wall (9th September 2020)
 
#ParentingIsDangerousOrAtLeastMyOwnStupidityIs
#BHasNotBeenSleepingWellForAWeekOrSo
#SheUsedToPutHerselfToSleepForSomeNaps
#AndNowSheJustCriesWhenIPutHerInHerCot
#SoYesterdayWeWatchedSomeVideosOnSleepTipsAndSheManagedToSleepFor5HoursForTheFirstTimeInAges
#SheDidWakeUpButSheManagedToGoBackToSleep
#ItWasSayingYouShouldTryToLetBabiesHaveANapInTheirCotAtLeastOnceADay
#SoThisMorningTiagoPutHerDownForANap
#SheWasTalkingToHerselfSoIWentInToCheckOnHerAfterAWhile
#ThenIWentToLeaveButSawAMilkBottleLidOnMyBedsideTableSoILeantAroundTheCornerToPickItUpAsIDidNotWantToBeInHerFieldOfVision
#ItHasBeenThereForAWeekButObviouslyTodayIHadToPickItUp
#ThenWhenIStoodBackUpAndWentToMoveAwayAtTheSameTimeISmackedMyNoseRoundTheWallCorner
#TiagoWasInTheNextRoomSoISaidDidYouHearThat
#ThenIJustKneltDownAndPutMyHeadOnTheFloorHalfLaughingHalfCrying
#TheNoiseWasSoLoud
#TiagoSaidHeThoughtItWasTheSoundOfASwitchAndThatHeThoughtIHadBeenElectrocutedALittleOrSomething
#IWasCryingInShockMoreThanAnythingButIWasWorriedThatIHadBrokenMyNoseAndIWasLaughingAtMyStupidity
#TiagoSmashedUpSomeIceAndPutItInATowelForMe
#ITookSomePicturesStraightAwayAsBWasStillTryingToSleepInHerCot
#AtSomePointIHadTheIceTowelTiedToMyHeadToTryToWriteTheseHashtags
#IShouldHaveJustLeftBTalkingToHerselfButAsIDisturbedHerSheStartedCryingSoNowSheIsInHerCarrierOnMe
#IThinkSheGotToThePointOfBeingOverTiredWhichMakesItHarderForHerToFallToSleep
#IAmStoodWithASmallTableOnTheTableJustBouncingHerUpAndDownMakingShushingSoundsSoICanTryToDoSomeWork
#IHaveALittleCutOnMyNoseAndBHasOneTooFromScratchingHerNoseTheOtherNight
#WeHadCutHerNailsButWeNeedToGetBetterAtFilingThem
#IThinkMyNoseWillContinueToLookWorseAndItIsStartingToHurtABitMore
#TheGoodThingIsWithThisEraOfTheFaceMasksIsThatICanJustPutOneOnWhenIGoForWalksAndNoOneWillSeeMyBigRedNose
#SomeOfThePicturesFromTheShootLookLikeIHaveJustFashionedABigFaceMaskForMyselfOrLikeItIsBreathingApparatus
#IMightStillGetSomeWeirdLooksAsSomePeopleDoNotLikeToWearThemButAtLeastPeopleUnderstandWhyOthersDoWearThem
#INeedToReadMoreAboutThe3To4MonthSleepRegressionAsIThinkWeHaveHitThatPoint

(I wrote this post on 9th September.)

#ParentingIsDangerousOrAtLeastMyOwnStupidityIs

Tiago blamed sleep deprivation, but it was just me not being careful.

#BHasNotBeenSleepingWellForAWeekOrSo #SheUsedToPutHerselfToSleepForSomeNaps #AndNowSheJustCriesWhenIPutHerInHerCot

There had been a few long nights…

We usually do a dream feed, but the night before she did not sleep for hours afterwards so we thought we would skip it. She woke up by herself at 10.30pm, but at least I had got some sleep so when she didn’t go back to sleep for over two hours I wasn’t losing it like the night before. I ended up feeding her and she fell asleep on me, then stayed asleep when I put her in her cot.

#SoYesterdayWeWatchedSomeVideosOnSleepTipsAndSheManagedToSleepFor5HoursForTheFirstTimeInAges #SheDidWakeUpButSheManagedToGoBackToSleep

Tiago said she woke up at 2am, but he just gentled rocked B’s chest and she went back to sleep. Apparently I woke up but I don’t remember it. They tend to wake up between sleep cycles, so the tips were about not rushing to feed them and trying other things first. They also said that no one really sleeps through the night, but we just learn how to go back to sleep.

Also, it still felt like I had only been asleep for 5 minutes.

#ItWasSayingYouShouldTryToLetBabiesHaveANapInTheirCotAtLeastOnceADay

It also said the first nap of the day is usually the easiest. I have found this to be true, which is why I try to do the first one in the cot and then take her for a walk in the afternoon.

#SoThisMorningTiagoPutHerDownForANap #SheWasTalkingToHerselfSoIWentInToCheckOnHerAfterAWhile

I put her dummy back in, but I should have just left it.

#ThenIWentToLeaveButSawAMilkBottleLidOnMyBedsideTableSoILeantAroundTheCornerToPickItUpAsIDidNotWantToBeInHerFieldOfVision #ItHasBeenThereForAWeekButObviouslyTodayIHadToPickItUp #ThenWhenIStoodBackUpStraightAndWentToMoveAwayAtTheSameTimeISmackedMyNoseRoundTheWallCorner

Genius.

#TiagoWasInTheNextRoomSoISaidDidYouHearThat #ThenIJustKneeltDownAndPutMyHeadOnTheFloorHalfLaughingHalfCrying #TheNoiseWasSoLoud #TiagoSaidHeThoughtItWasTheSoundOfASwitchAndThatHeThoughtIHadBeenElectrocutedALittleOrSomething #IWasCryingInShockMoreThanAnythingButIWasWorriedThatIHadBrokenMyNoseAndIWasLaughingAtMyStupidity

It was a proper smack. I could not believe that I did it…

#TiagoSmashedUpSomeIceAndPutItInATowelForMe

I never think about things like this, so it’s good that he did.

#ITookSomePicturesStraightAwayAsBWasStillTryingToSleepInHerCot

Of course I had to do a shoot. Without the towel my nose just looked a bit pink, but I might take more photos if it gets worse. I hope it doesn’t though…

(Note: It got worse, but I didn’t take a photograph of it – well it does feature in other photos I guess.)

#AtSomePointIHadTheIceTowelTiedToMyHeadToTryToWriteTheseHashtags

I had it tied with another towel, then I tried to use a headband. Tiago replaced the ice with a bag of beans but it was too awkward, so I got something that is meant to be put on your boobs for pain relief. It shapes to my nose a bit better, but I think the initial ice was the best thing.

#IShouldHaveJustLeftBTalkingToHerselfButAsIDisturbedHerSheStartedCryingSoNowSheIsInHerCarrierOnMe

The thing with babies is you never know how they will react, so it’s so easy afterwards to say ‘I should have done this’. Also Tiago looked after her whilst I had a bit more of a sleep, so I didn’t really know how long she had been trying to sleep for etc.

#IThinkSheGotToThePointOfBeingOverTiredWhichMakesItHarderForHerToFallToSleep

I try to follow some kind of schedule, but I need to read her cues more. For me the most obvious sign is still when her eyebrows go pink.

#IAmStoodWithASmallTableOnTheTableJustBouncingHerUpAndDownMakingShushingSoundsSoICanTryToDoSomeWork

My back is starting to hurt. Will have to try to put her down to sleep in the cot next time, otherwise I’ll take her out for a walk.

#IHaveALittleCutOnMyNoseAndBHasOneTooFromScratchingHerNoseTheOtherNight #WeHadCutHerNailsButWeNeedToGetBetterAtFilingThem

I usually cover over her hands with the built in mittens in her onesies, but as she sucks her hands more now I think it is good to leave them uncovered sometimes so she can self-soothe. However, her hands get quite cold and I think this is why she wakes up sometimes.

(Note: We now swaddle her during naps/sleep at home, so we don’t have this issue so much at the moment. When she starts to roll over in her cot then we won’t be able to swaddle her anymore though.)

The nail file is so awkward, I find it harder than the scissors.

#IThinkMyNoseWillContinueToLookWorseAndItIsStartingToHurtABitMore

I should probably keep the ice on it more, but it’s a bit annoying. Okay, okay, I’ll put it back on.

#TheGoodThingIsWithThisEraOfTheFaceMasksIsThatICanJustPutOneOnWhenIGoForWalksAndNoOneWillSeeMyBigRedNose #SomeOfThePicturesFromTheShootLookLikeIHaveJustFashionedABigFaceMaskForMyselfOrLikeItIsBreathingApparatus #IMightStillGetSomeWeirdLooksAsSomePeopleDoNotLikeToWearThemButAtLeastPeopleUnderstandWhyOthersDoWearThem

I wear masks in shops and inside places, but I don’t while walking – though I think this will change today. Shops don’t seem to tell people off for not wearing face masks. Some restaurants have all staff everyone wearing masks or visors, whilst others don’t have them on. It looks like the rules are changing again anyways.

(Note: Now we have local lockdown and we have to wear masks in communal spaces in the building we live in. A lot of people still don’t seem to, but I do.)

#INeedToReadMoreAboutThe3To4MonthSleepRegressionAsIThinkWeHaveHitThatPoint

The joys of parenthood. Everyday is a school day.


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Answering The Door Looking A Mess (27th August 2020)

Answering The Door Looking A Mess (27th August 2020)
 
#IKnewSomePeopleWereCheckingAllTheFireDoorsInTheBuildingTodayButIDidNotKnowWhatTimeTheyWouldCheckOurDoor
#IDidThinkAboutPuttingADressOnButThoughtTheyWouldNotComeUntilALotLater
#IWasUpAndHadFedBAndChangedHerAndWashedHerWithAFlannel
#IHadMadeUpANewSongForHerAboutWhenIDancedInAMusicVideoWhilstIWas6MonthsPregnantWithHer
#HeyThereHeyThereMissBB
#SawYouOnTheTV
#InYourMummysBelly
#SheWasDancing
#ToASongCalledDanca
#NoEffectsOorEnhancer
#SheMovedJustLikeJelly
#ItIsFunMakingUpSongsForHerAndIHadSungItAbout20TimesAsSheSeemedToBeSingingAlong
#AndThenTheDoorWent
#IScrambledToFindMyUsualDressButICouldNot
#ThenIFranticallyTriedToGrabSomethingFromTheWardrobe
#IChuckedOnANursingDressThatIHaveNotWornYetButItWillBeGoodForTheAutumnWhenItIsLessHot
#GotToTheDoorAndRealisedHowShortItWasButJustOpenedTheDoor
#ThereWereAboutFourGuysThereNotStoodVeryFarApart
#IJustOpenedItAndBackedAwayBecauseOfSocialDistancingAndAll
#HeLookedALittleShockedAndSaidItWouldTakeAMinute
#IJustSaidOkayOkayAndRanBackToTheBedroomToScrambleToPutSomeLeggingsOn
#ByTheTimeIHadPutThemOnHeHadAlreadyFinishedAndJustShutTheDoor
#ILookedInTheMirrorAndRealisedHowMessyMyHairWas
#HeProbablyThoughtHeHadWokenMeUpOrSomething
#AndBWasBeingQuietSoHeWouldNotHaveKnownIHadABaby
#LolIDoNotReallyCare
#TheBigRevelationAroundHereIsThatIFoundOutViaAnInstagramStoryTheMeaningOfPinkEyebrows
#SometimesBsEyebrowsAreQuiteRedOrPinkAndIThoughtItWasASkinThing
#ButItTurnsOutThatItIsASignThatSheIsSleepySoIKnowThatItIsTimeForHerToTakeANapNow
#SometimesIAmLikeThereIsNoWaySheIsTiredButSheGoesToSleepPrettyFast

#IKnewSomePeopleWereCheckingAllTheFireDoorsInTheBuildingTodayButIDidNotKnowWhatTimeTheyWouldCheckOurDoor
#IDidThinkAboutPuttingADressOnButThoughtTheyWouldNotComeUntilALotLater

Yet another building with the same cladding as Grenfell Tower.

(If you’re not from the UK/don’t know about it, it is a tower block that caught fire in 2017 and sadly 72 people died.)

#IWasUpAndHadFedBAndChangedHerAndWashedHerWithAFlannel

Smashing it, I know.

#IHadMadeUpANewSongForHerAboutWhenIDancedInAMusicVideoWhilstIWas6MonthsPregnantWithHer

This one.

#HeyThereHeyThereMissBB
#SawYouOnTheTV
#InYourMummysBelly
#SheWasDancing
#ToASongCalledDanca
#NoEffectsOorEnhancer
#SheMovedJustLikeJelly

I love how I just randomly sing things that I like the sound of, and then manage to turn them into a little song. I am sure I’ve stole the tune from something. I will try to do a little Instagram video of it soon.

#ItIsFunMakingUpSongsForHerAndIHadSungItAbout20TimesAsSheSeemedToBeSingingAlong

I recorded a video of B singing along to it and sent it to Tiago. It also helps me remember the songs I make up. For some reason I kept forgetting the tune of this one.

#AndThenTheDoorWent

Of course.

#IScrambledToFindMyUsualDressButICouldNot

Obviously I found it later hanging on the bathroom door.

#ThenIFranticallyTriedToGrabSomethingFromTheWardrobe

Wasting so much time scanning to and fro looking for something quick to throw on.

#IChuckedOnANursingDressThatIHaveNotWornYetButItWillBeGoodForTheAutumnWhenItIsLessHot

It seemed like a wise choice.

#GotToTheDoorAndRealisedHowShortItWasButJustOpenedTheDoor

A few quick strong tugs on it before I went for the handle… I really didn’t think it was that short before.

#ThereWereAboutFourGuysThereNotStoodVeryFarApart

Hello social distancing…

#IJustOpenedItAndBackedAwayBecauseOfSocialDistancingAndAll

…Well, none from them and all from me.

#HeLookedALittleShockedAndSaidItWouldTakeAMinute

I did look a right state.

#IJustSaidOkayOkayAndRanBackToTheBedroomToScrambleToPutSomeLeggingsOn
#ByTheTimeIHadPutThemOnHeHadAlreadyFinishedAndJustShutTheDoor

Great! I was glad it was all done so soon, so that we could get on with our day. I hate that feeling of not knowing when someone will knock on the door…

#ILookedInTheMirrorAndRealisedHowMessyMyHairWas
#HeProbablyThoughtHeHadWokenMeUpOrSomething

Yep, I looked a state. I immediately headed back to B and took a picture of myself, so I could laugh at myself in this post.

(I think I have a bit of a bogey sticking out of my nose too – great!)

#AndBWasBeingQuietSoHeWouldNotHaveKnownIHadABaby

When I want her to cry she doesn’t…

#LolIDoNotReallyCare

Hence why I am showing it to the (potential) world. (Who really looks at my stuff?)

#TheBigRevelationAroundHereIsThatIFoundOutViaAnInstagramStoryTheMeaningOfPinkEyebrows
#SometimesBsEyebrowsAreQuiteRedOrPinkAndIThoughtItWasASkinThing
#ButItTurnsOutThatItIsASignThatSheIsSleepySoIKnowThatItIsTimeForHerToTakeANapNow
#SometimesIAmLikeThereIsNoWaySheIsTiredButSheGoesToSleepPrettyFast

Though now I know this it seems like always has pink eyebrows. She wakes up from a nap and has pink eyebrows.

I’m still working on seeing how she can take longer naps without being in a carrier, in the pushchair being pushed or asleep on T or I. She does occasionally nap for more than 20 minutes in her cot during the day, but it does seem rare. I will persevere…

(I wrote this on the day I took the picture I think. Napping and sleep has improved – stay tuned!)


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