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Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Third Family Portrait (2nd October 2020)

(I wrote this on 2nd October 2020, whilst dancing in my chair to You Know Me Better by Róisín Murphy on repeat. I haven’t listened to music properly in a while and it feels really good.

I’ve been making a big batch of dance videos every 2 weeks now and I’m looking forward to hopefully making some more tomorrow.)

<19th October – I made some, but I’m not sure if it was the next day. I am planning to dance to a new Róisín Murphy song in my next bath of videos.

I’ve been trying to post this all day, but I just haven’t had the time. I’m hoping that I can now while B is supposed to be having a catnap, but I can hear her making noise…>

Me dancing to the song, whilst 3 months pregnant…

Anyways…

I think this photo sums up our family quite well in some way. Me looking at the camera, and Tiago and B not. It almost looks like two photos have been edited together or something.

Third Family Portrait (2nd October 2020)
 
#WhoopsICanNotBelieveItHasBeenAMonthAndAHalfSinceTheLastFamilyPortrait
#WeHadPlannedToDoItEarlierInTheDayButInTheEndItWasGettingLateAndBWasGettingRestless
#TypicallyIHadToldSomeoneThatHerSleepingWasNotThatBadAndThenSheTookAgesToSettleAtBedtime
#HerBedtimeIsUsuallyBetween7And8WithADreamFeedAround10
#AndTheLastFewNightsIHaveNotFedHerUntil7InTheMorning
#ThoughSheNormallyWakesUpQuiteABit
#LastNightSheWokeUpLessButIStillFeltLikeIHadOnlySleptFor5Minutes
#IHaveBeenHavingANapEverydayLately
#IAmNotSureIfItIsParentingTheWeatherLifeOrEverything
#IThinkMyPeriodMayHaveStarted
#IHaveNotHadOneSinceSeptember2019AndTypicallyWeAreGoingSwimmingTomorrow
#IWasHopingToGoWithoutThemForABitLonger
#YesterdayTiagoCommentedThatBWasLookingABitTooBigInHerBassinet
#SoLastNightIAssembledTheChairElementOfHerPushchairAndSheWentInItForTheFirstTimeToday
#NewRulesGotAnnouncedForLiverpool
#NoMeetingUpWithOtherPeopleInsideForAnyReason
#AndMeetingUpOutsideIsNotRecommended
#TheNotRecommendedStuffIsABitAnnoying
#EitherWeAreAllowedOrWeAreNot
#AnywaysWeWentToTheCityCentreTodayToGetFalafelWraps
#IFoundTheWholeExperienceSoStressfulThatIWillNotBeWalkingThereAgainAnytimeSoon
#PeopleDoNotCareAboutSocialDistancingAndIJustFeltAnxiousTheWholeTime
#ItWasTooColdToEatOutsideSoWeWalkedHomeWithThem
#TiagoAteHisWhilstIFedBAndAfterAWhileIWasSoHungryThatIDecidedToEatItOverHer
#YesterdayWeAlsoStartedToPutHerInHer3To6MonthsOnesies
#SheHasALotOfTheSamePatternsAsHer0To3MonthsOnes
#SheHadANiceNewOneOnTodayAndIGotFalafelWrapJuiceAllOverIt
#CleverMe
#IAskedTiagoIfHeHadAnythingToSayWithTheHashtagsButHeSaidNo
#IAmNotLookingForwardToHimGoingBackToWorkNextWeek

#WhoopsICanNotBelieveItHasBeenAMonthAndAHalfSinceTheLastFamilyPortrait

Time just flies by. I honestly thought we had already taken a third one, and I was trying to remember the image as I could only remember the second one that we took in August.

#WeHadPlannedToDoItEarlierInTheDayButInTheEndItWasGettingLateAndBWasGettingRestless

T said we could try again tomorrow when ‘we’re all clean and stuff’, but I’m sure one of them will do, and I want this project to be an accurate portrayal of how we look day to day.

#TypicallyIHadToldSomeoneThatHerSleepingWasNotThatBadAndThenSheTookAgesToSettleAtBedtime

I think she got overtired. We follow a schedule, but it just gets a bit messy around bedtime and I usually end up feeding her twice in that awake period.

<Her second nap was unusually bad today. I wonder if she is teething or something.

I had to go and check on her as she is definitely not sleeping now. I only want her to sleep for 20-30 minutes, but it takes more than that to try to get her to sleep at times…>

#HerBedtimeIsUsuallyBetween7And8WithADreamFeedAround10 #AndTheLastFewNightsIHaveNotFedHerUntil7InTheMorning #ThoughSheNormallyWakesUpQuiteABit #LastNightSheWokeUpLessButIStillFeltLikeIHadOnlySleptFor5Minutes

Some nights it feels like I’m up every hour settling her; last night I only woke up twice.

The second time Tiago was awake too and he said that she did one cry and I sat upright straight away. I had assumed that she had been crying for a while and I had only just woken up.

I always feel tired…

<I’ve got B up – the catnap was a failure, so I’ll just feed her shortly and then put her to bed early. T is holding her while I finish this and drink some water.

This morning I didn’t have a nap for the first time in ages, as it’s usually when she naps the best so it’s a good time to get stuff done.>

#IHaveBeenHavingANapEverydayLately

And not feeling bad about it.

#IAmNotSureIfItIsParentingTheWeatherLifeOrEverything

To be fair the coding course is quite mentally tiring, plus everything else. The weather is colder and it is getting darker earlier, which just makes me want to hibernate. Annoyingly it’s the best time of the day to work – it’s currently 20:44. I did some coding earlier in the day, so I think I will just read my book a little tonight instead. Exciting.

#IThinkMyPeriodMayHaveStarted

Just a small amount of blood. I am hoping it goes away quick and is just my body preparing for them. Fun times.

*Cue a massive cramp.* Ergh.

#IHaveNotHadOneSinceSeptember2019AndTypicallyWeAreGoingSwimmingTomorrow

My period tracker app says my period is 350+ days late.

It’s not the end of the world obviously, but to not have had one in so long and then have it start when I am going swimming for the first time in an even longer time is just bloody annoying – does that count as a pun or something?

#IWasHopingToGoWithoutThemForABitLonger

I have heard that some women have not had them for a year or so after giving birth because of breastfeeding.

<In the end it was only very light for 2 days, so was that my period? I don’t know. It was probably my body reminding itself how they work.>

#YesterdayTiagoCommentedThatBWasLookingABitTooBigInHerBassinet #SoLastNightIAssembledTheChairElementOfHerPushchairAndSheWentInItForTheFirstTimeToday

I was thinking that maybe we should ‘upgrade’ her, so when I saw that other Mum friends had moved their babies to chairs I knew it was time.

It’s weird not being able to see her so well, but hopefully she will like looking around at people and things. It’s strange putting her in it, but I guess before long it will become normal. She looks nice and snug in it.

<I am still finding it weird. There is a little flap to check on her, but as she is usually wearing a hat I can’t see what she is doing, so I have to peep around the front.

When it’s windy her footmuff blows up at the bottom where she is too short to have her feet at the moment.>

#NewRulesGotAnnouncedForLiverpool #NoMeetingUpWithOtherPeopleInsideForAnyReason

It did seem a bit dumb that I could not see someone at their house, but I could see them in a place full of other people.

#AndMeetingUpOutsideIsNotRecommended

I did not know this. I just found out tonight. Great…

I get it – they can’t just make lots of exceptions, but there are no baby groups, I can’t get support from my family and now I can’t see the few friends that I have in Liverpool. Obviously it affects everyone and not just us, but it is annoying. What can we do though?

#TheNotRecommendedStuffIsABitAnnoying #EitherWeAreAllowedOrWeAreNot

Meeting in restaurants or pubs was not recommended before, which meant some people probably didn’t but others did.

We met a couple of friends for a hot drink outside of a cafe the other day, and saw a friend for a walk last weekend. Good job we saw them as now we’re not supposed to. It’s all a bit frustrating.

<Well, we’re under tier 3 restrictions now, but it does say you can meet outside.>

#AnywaysWeWentToTheCityCentreTodayToGetFalafelWraps

We had wanted to try them from a particular place for a while. I thought we would go today rather than at the weekend as it would not be so busy in town.

#IFoundTheWholeExperienceSoStressfulThatIWillNotBeWalkingThereAgainAnytimeSoon #PeopleDoNotCareAboutSocialDistancingAndIJustFeltAnxiousTheWholeTime

I think having a pushchair makes it more difficult as you can’t just easily get away from people fast. People have no problem walking super close to you.

A preacher guy wasn’t wearing a mask and came so close to me to try to give me a leaflet. I just said ‘No!’ loudly as I was so freaked out by him coming close to me. I think he made a ‘Ooh’ sound back or something.

#ItWasTooColdToEatOutsideSoWeWalkedHomeWithThem

We just wanted to get home and B needed to be fed.

#TiagoAteHisWhilstIFedBAndAfterAWhileIWasSoHungryThatIDecidedToEatItOverHer

She usually eats for about 30 minutes and I was so hungry.

#YesterdayWeAlsoStartedToPutHerInHer3To6MonthsOnesies #SheHasALotOfTheSamePatternsAsHer0To3MonthsOnes

I remember when the 0-3 months ones were too big on her, but now they’re quite snug so it’s funny seeing her in oversized clothes again.

#SheHadANiceNewOneOnTodayAndIGotFalafelWrapJuiceAllOverIt

Typical.

<She wore another one for the first time the other day and made a mess of it pretty quickly.>

#CleverMe

I should have known it was going to happen. I should have put a tea towel over her… Fail.

#IAskedTiagoIfHeHadAnythingToSayInTheHashtagsButHeSaidNo

He is the man of many words.

#IAmNotLookingForwardToHimGoingBackToWorkNextWeek

I just want us to hang out together as a family all day everyday…


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Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Portrait Of A Mother Of A Three-Month-Old (15th September 2020)

Me leaning on a table
Portrait Of A Mother Of A Three-Month-Old (15th September 2020)
 
#WhoIsWorriedThatSheWillNotHaveTimeToWriteTheHashtagsBeforeHerBabyWakesUp
#ThatWouldHaveBeenTooLongOfATitle
#ICanNotBelieveSheIsThreeMonthsOldAndIStillCanNotBelieveThatIHaveABaby
#LastNightSheWentFor8HoursBetweenTwoFeeds
#SheDidWakeUpACoupleOfTimesButSheWentBackToSleep
#ThoughNowIAmWorriedAsSheHasSeemedQuiteSleepyToday
#TypicallyWhenSheDoesNotSleepIAmWorriedAndWhenSheDoesIAm
#SheWasStartingToGetCrankyDuringHerBabyMassageClassThisMorningWhichWasARecordingFromLastWeekAsItExpiresTomorrow
#AndWeMissedHerBabyYogaClassSoWeWillHaveToDoThatBeforeWeDoTheNextBabyMassageOne
#SheIsMeantToBeGoingThroughADevelopmentalLeapThoughWhichMightExplainTheTiredness
#YesterdayOurRoutineGotMuckedUpByTravellingAboutSoIThoughtItMightBeALongNight
#WeHadToStopAtAServiceStationForTheFirstTimeWithHer
#WeActuallyHadToStopTwiceAsTheFirstTimeIFedHerAndTheSecondTimeWeChangedHerNappyAsSheWasStillCrying
#WhenSheIsOvertiredItCanGoEitherWay
#ButIThinkHerBeingOvertiredIsTheMainReasonWhySheCries
#SheWasFineWhenIWasHoldingHerButThenSheWouldCryWhenIPutHerDownInHerCot
#NowThatWeSwaddleHerSheHasABitMoreOfANaptimeSlashBedtimeRoutine
#IUsuallyPickHerUpOnceSheIsSwaddledAndSingToHerForABitWhileRockingHer
#OurNewSongIs
#HeyBabyAreYouSleepy
#LetsGoToBedASAP
#ButASAPAsAyEssAyPee
#ISangToHerForAWhileButSheWasStillFussy
#AsSheSleepsInATravelCotThoughIRecentlyRealisedThatICanRockTheBassinetBitToRockHerToSleep
#IPlannedToDoThisShootLaterButIThoughtIMightAsWellTryToDoItNow
#SoTonightICanJustFocusOnCodingOnceIGetMeTime
#IFeelQuiteStressedOutRightNow
#IGuessIJustStartedANewCourseAndIHadNotDoneAShootInAFewDays
#IAlsoHaveNotBeenOnAWalkInACoupleOfDaysSoINeedToMakeSureThatIGoOutToday
#ItIsNiceLookingAfterHerButEveryDayIsTheSameKindOfCycle
 

Apologies for another picture of me in my underwear. I said that I would not change my clothes for shoots, and as the weather is warm whilst I write this (on the 15th September) I am just lounging around like this.

It is just easier for feeding, and as I haven’t been out yet today I haven’t had to put any other clothes on. I guess it is an accurate portrayal of having a summer baby in a warm flat…

(Since writing this the weather has turned and I’ve been enjoying lounging around in a long sleeved top and pyjama bottoms.)

#WhoIsWorriedThatSheWillNotHaveTimeToWriteTheHashtagsBeforeHerBabyWakesUp #ThatWouldHaveBeenTooLongOfATitle

After seeing how long this hashtag is, it definitely would have been too long for the official title. It is annoying when titles are too long for file names or title boxes.

#ICanNotBelieveSheIsThreeMonthsOldAndIStillCanNotBelieveThatIHaveABaby

Will it ever stop being weird? I don’t think so. How has it been 3 months already though?

(I was thinking this morning – 2nd October – that I haven’t said this in a while, but obviously I have. We generally have a few free hours these days between her going to bed and her dream feed, which is when I usually do my coding course. I am so caught up in my own stuff that I do sometimes temporarily forget that I have a kid. That sounds bad, but it is because I still find it weird that I grew a baby inside me.)

#LastNightSheWentFor8HoursBetweenTwoFeeds #SheDidWakeUpACoupleOfTimesButSheWentBackToSleep

I have been trying to go to bed earlier. We ended up getting home late, so I fed her and we all went to bed around 11pm-ish? She woke up at 4am and I gave her her dummy thinking that she would be crying again within 5 minutes. I lay down again and I can’t remember when she next woke up, but in the end I fed her around 7am.

When I say 8 hours between feeds I mean 8 hours from the start of her last one to the start of the next one.

I woke up around 6am and managed to do some yoga, before I woke her up to feed her. I want to start getting up at 7am every day to try to have some kind of a routine.

(2nd October – The last few nights she has gone the whole night without eating until 7am-ish. Last night she only woke up once, whereas the night before she woke up about 6 times, but I just tried to leave her for 5 minutes before intervening, and the night before that she woke up a lot and I usually just offered her the dummy straight away, which shouldn’t be my first response really. I’m learning…)

#ThoughNowIAmWorriedAsSheHasSeemedQuiteSleepyToday

She had a nap around 8.30am, and we both slept until 10.30am. I was supposed to wake her up to feed her around 10… I had to wake her up in the end as she had napped for 2 hours.

#TypicallyWhenSheDoesNotSleepIAmWorriedAndWhenSheDoesIAm

I will keep an eye on her.

(2nd October – Everything was fine; babies are supposed to sleep a lot. I was reading the other day that someone was struggling with their baby was not sleeping so well at night and someone recommended an earlier bed time. Apparently it made a big difference. Before we were aiming for a bedtime of 8pm, but now we try for 7pm-ish. )

#SheWasStartingToGetCrankyDuringHerBabyMassageClassThisMorningWhichWasARecordingFromLastWeekAsItExpiresTomorrow

She has her eyes closed whilst I feed her, so I need to work on keeping her more awake during feeds still. I thought she would not need a nap so soon, but she was getting cranky half way through the video so I thought I’d see if she wanted a nap.

#AndWeMissedHerBabyYogaClassSoWeWillHaveToDoThatBeforeWeDoTheNextBabyMassageOne

Fun fact.

#SheIsMeantToBeGoingThroughADevelopmentalLeapThoughWhichMightExplainTheTiredness

It also says to expect other things like clinginess, loss of appetite and other things. She seems to be feeding well at the moment, though I need to use nipple shields as one is quite painful and she only seems to like the other boob if it has a nipple shield on. I guess it is like sucking a dummy full of milk? The bad one just doesn’t seem to heal though.

(2nd October – I am just using nipple shields all the time now. I know you’re not supposed to, but sore nipples are horrible. I do occasionally go without to try to build up my resistance or something, but it just seems easier to use them. Okay, I’ve guilted myself into using them less.)

#YesterdayOurRoutineGotMuckedUpByTravellingAboutSoIThoughtItMightBeALongNight

It is nice to see people, but I do start to get into some kind of routine at home and it goes out of the window pretty quick.

#WeHadToStopAtAServiceStationForTheFirstTimeWithHer #WeActuallyHadToStopTwiceAsTheFirstTimeIFedHerAndTheSecondTimeWeChangedHerNappyAsSheWasStillCrying

We always try to go anywhere after she has been fed. Sometimes when she is overtired she will sleep after a feed, but not last night.

Before we left the first service station we checked her nappy and it seemed fine. However, as she was crying after we left we thought it might be her nappy so T changed it on the front passenger seat (on a changing mat) at the next service station.

She was still upset after we left there, but she calmed down a little after I played white noise on my phone and tried to sooth her more. I sensed that she might just want to be cuddled, but obviously we couldn’t do that in a moving car.

#WhenSheIsOvertiredItCanGoEitherWay

She can have a long sleep or just wake up loads. I get it though, sometimes the more tired I am the harder it is to sleep. Like when I barely slept for 2 weeks after she was born…

#ButIThinkHerBeingOvertiredIsTheMainReasonWhySheCries

Well she cries for other reasons, but it’s the hardest to fix. Feed? Easy (well, less so with bottles these days). Nappy change? No problem. Over tired? Oh no. I am trying to get better at realising she is tired though.

#SheWasFineWhenIWasHoldingHerButThenSheWouldCryWhenIPutHerDownInHerCot

I realised too late that she was tired.

#NowThatWeSwaddleHerSheHasABitMoreOfANaptimeSlashBedtimeRoutine

As we need to comfort her once she is in the swaddle.

#IUsuallyPickHerUpOnceSheIsSwaddledAndSingToHerForABitWhileRockingHer

It is usually turn on white noise > nappy change > swaddle > comfort > cot.

#OurNewSongIs #HeyBabyAreYouSleepy #LetsGoToBedASAP #ButASAPAsAyEssAyPee #ISangToHerForAWhileButSheWasStillFussy

Well, I made it up today. She did seem to calm down, but was fussy again in her cot.

#AsSheSleepsInATravelCotThoughIRecentlyRealisedThatICanRockTheBassinetBitToRockHerToSleep

I didn’t have to do it for long and she fell asleep. Win.

#IPlannedToDoThisShootLaterButIThoughtIMightAsWellTryToDoItNow #SoTonightICanJustFocusOnCodingOnceIGetMeTime

B was asleep and the food in the oven needed half an hour to cook. You never know when she will wake up, but I managed to do a shoot, hashtags and half off this blog post. I’m writing the rest while she feeds – this is probably why she falls asleep while eating.

So at least I won’t have all of this to worry about tonight. I just need to select the image to accompany all of this…

#IFeelQuiteStressedOutRightNow #IGuessIJustStartedANewCourseAndIHadNotDoneAShootInAFewDays

I do not really like the pictures in this project, but perhaps just doing something is better than nothing. That’s generally how it is with my work, but it would be nice if I really liked the pictures. I used to really like my pregnancy project, but looking at it yesterday maybe it isn’t even that good. I guess it is just a document of a time and that’s fine.

At least I slept well last night and had a good nap this morning.

#IAlsoHaveNotBeenOnAWalkInACoupleOfDaysSoINeedToMakeSureThatIGoOutToday

Like I said when we visit people the routine goes out of the window. I prefer to take her out in her pushchair now, but it does not fit in the car along with everything else. This will be corrected today. I started to listen to Carrie Fisher’s biography as an audiobook whilst on walks. I love the speed up setting – particularly with my library app as you can set it to whatever speed you like. Sometimes 1.25x is too slow and 1.5x is too fast.

#ItIsNiceLookingAfterHerButEveryDayIsTheSameKindOfCycle

Wake up, feed, change, play, nap and repeat all day. I shouldn’t complain as it is rewarding, but my very first self-portraiture project was about the cycle of life. Sometimes I do find the monotonous of existing a bit dull, particularly during a pandemic. Rules are changing again, so we won’t be able to visit my Nan at home for now. Hopefully it changes again soon but who knows. We nearly didn’t make the visit, so it was lucky that we got to see her at home when we did.

(2nd October – Well, Liverpool has more lockdown rules now. So for now we can’t see anyone in their homes or gardens, and yesterday they announced a new rule of not mixing in pubs and restaurants – before it was just advised against.)

(I felt much better after finishing this post as I had been productive. B and I had a playtime full of smiles, and I got out for a walk. Win.)


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Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Motherhood Is So Glamorous (10th September 2020)

Me with a bashed nose, chocolate oat milk moustache, and toast crumbs on my chest
Motherhood Is So Glamorous (10th September 2020)
 
#HereIsAPictureOfMeWithMyBashedNoseABitOfAChocolateOatMilkMoustacheAndToastedSandwichCrumbsOnMyChestAndBra
#OutOfShotIsBAsleepOnMeAndOverMyRightArm
#ThisWasThisAtAroundTenThirtyThisMorningAndItIsNearlyTwoNow
#IStillHaveNotShoweredAndIAmFindingCrumbsAllInMyBra
#IWasGoingToPutBDownForANapAfterSheHadFinishedEating
#ICanNotKeepBAwakeDuringFeeding
#IAmGoingToHaveToDoAllTheTipsLikeKeepPuttingHerDown
#IDoNotLikeThatALotOfTheBabySleepTerminologyIsTheSameAsSayingGoodbyeToAPet
#INormallyBlowRaspberriesWhichUsuallyStartlesHerAwakeTheFirstTimeThenHerResponsesGetWeakerUntilSheStopsRespondingToTheSound
#SoThisMorningSheFellAsleepOnMeAndIThoughtOkaySheCanJustNapOnMeThisTime
#AfterAWhileITextedTForHelpAndHeBroughtMeAToastedSandwichAndAGlassOfChocolateMilk
#ILikeToHaveMyChocolateMilkInbetweenBitesButTheGlassWouldHaveFallenOverOnTheBedSoIHadToDrinkItAllBeforeIStartedToEat
#IHadToEatItWithMyLeftHandAndItWasQuiteMessyHenceAllTheCrumbs
#IKnowItIsAHardLife
#IAlwaysGetAMoustacheWheneverIDrinkSomethingSoBWillProbablyNotMakeMuchMoreOfAMessThanMe
#IHaveACutOnMyNoseFromSmashingItRoundACornerOfTheBedroomWall
#ItHurtsABitButItCouldHaveBeenALotWorse
#WeTriedHerInASwaddleSleepingBagForTheFirstTimeYesterday
#ForHerFirstNapInItSheFellAsleepStraightAway
#LaterOnWePutHerToBedAndWeWentToBedAboutAnHourAfterwardsAndThenSheDidNotWakeUpForFiveHours
#ITriedToDoAllTheTipsToElongateHerSleepButSheWasNotHavingIt
#SometimesTheyWorkAndSometimesTheyDoNot
#WeDecidedToSkipHerDreamFeedAsWeWereGoingToBedAnyways
#TheNightBeforeWeDidThatButSheWokeUpWhenIWouldHaveUsuallyDoneTheDreamFeedAnyways
#GoingToBedNotLongAfterHerIsDefinitelyAGoodWayForMeToNotFeelSoCrankyInTheNightThough
#SheWouldNotGoBackToSleepForAnHourButIJustReadMyBookWhilstGentlyEncouragingHerHereAndThere
#ItIsABetterApproachForMeThanJustTryingToGoBackToSleepAsWhenItTakesHerAgesIGetAnnoyedIfIAmActivelyTryingToSleep
#SheStartedToFallAsleepDuringLunchTodaySoWePutHerInHerCot
#SheFellAsleepQuickAndThenWokeUpAbout20MinutesAgoButTJustTouchedHerChestAndSheWentBackToSleep
#SheIsApparentlyDueToHaveADevelopmentalLeapWhichMightExplainWhySheHasBeenABitDifferentLately

(I wrote this post on 10th September.)

#HereIsAPictureOfMeWithMyBashedNoseABitOfAChocolateOatMilkMoustacheAndToastedSandwichCrumbsOnMyChestAndBra #OutOfShotIsBAsleepOnMeAndOverMyRightArm #ThisWasThisAtAroundTenThirtyThisMorningAndItIsNearlyTwoNow #IStillHaveNotShoweredAndIAmFindingCrumbsAllInMyBra

I did not remove the crumbs until after she had woken up, and I could brush them onto the plate.

#IWasGoingToPutBDownForANapAfterSheHadFinishedEating #ICanNotKeepBAwakeDuringFeeding #IAmGoingToHaveToDoAllTheTipsLikeKeepPuttingHerDown

Every time I really try to keep her awake, but I think it just makes her tired. She does not do it so much when we bottle feed her, but that is usually once a day lately.

#IDoNotLikeThatALotOfTheBabySleepTerminologyIsTheSameAsSayingGoodbyeToAPet

I think about this a lot…

#INormallyBlowRaspberriesWhichUsuallyStartlesHerAwakeTheFirstTimeThenHerResponsesGetWeakerUntilSheStopsRespondingToTheSound

She looks really shocked the first time, then she gradually just doesn’t notice it anymore.

#SoThisMorningSheFellAsleepOnMeAndIThoughtOkaySheCanJustNapOnMeThisTime

We had an online class coming up, but I knew we could just do the recording if she missed it.

(We haven’t made it to a live class this term since the first one. I do just find it a bit awkward.)

#AfterAWhileITextedTForHelpAndHeBroughtMeAToastedSandwichAndAGlassOfChocolateMilk #ILikeToHaveMyChocolateMilkInbetweenBitesButTheGlassWouldHaveFallenOverOnTheBedSoIHadToDrinkItAllBeforeIStartedToEat #IHadToEatItWithMyLeftHandAndItWasQuiteMessyHenceAllTheCrumbs #IKnowItIsAHardLife

My hashtags are so boring most of the time. Thanks to Tiago for bringing me breakfast in bed though 🙂

(I wrote breakfast in bread on accident, whoops.)

#IAlwaysGetAMoustacheWheneverIDrinkSomethingSoBWillProbablyNotMakeMuchMoreOfAMessThanMe

I’m sat at the dining table writing this. Looking down I can see so many crumbs around my seat… We’ve started to use a fabric table cloth now so I am hoping this will help me make less mess, but it seems like there is more on the floor instead of the table now.

#IHaveACutOnMyNoseFromSmashingItRoundACornerOfTheBedroomWall #ItHurtsABitButItCouldHaveBeenALotWorse

See my last project post.

#WeTriedHerInASwaddleSleepingBagForTheFirstTimeYesterday #ForHerFirstNapInItSheFellAsleepStraightAway

We had thought about getting one before. Obviously it won’t work every time, but we were impressed. We had to comfort her first though as it must be a shock after being able to throw all your limbs around to suddenly be confined.

(29th: We’ve put her in her winter one now as it’s been so cold. She seems to like it. The other day I tried to just use it as a sleeping bag (with her arms out), but her hands got cold so we’re swaddling her again for now. I’m quite jealous – it looks very cosy!)

#LaterOnWePutHerToBedAndWeWentToBedAboutAnHourAfterwardsAndThenSheDidNotWakeUpForFiveHours

Two nights in a row!

#ITriedToDoAllTheTipsToElongateHerSleepButSheWasNotHavingIt #SometimesTheyWorkAndSometimesTheyDoNot

There are 6 steps and sometimes the third step works, but not last night.

#WeDecidedToSkipHerDreamFeedAsWeWereGoingToBedAnyways #TheNightBeforeWeDidThatButSheWokeUpWhenIWouldHaveUsuallyDoneTheDreamFeedAnyways #GoingToBedNotLongAfterHerIsDefinitelyAGoodWayForMeToNotFeelSoCrankyInTheNightThough

If she wakes up around the time we’d do a dream feed then it’s fine, but if not then that’s probably her longest period of sleep for the night so it’s better that I get some sleep too. Before I would stay up to do her dream feed, then she would not fall back to sleep for ages and I’d get so cranky as I hadn’t slept so it wasn’t good.

(29th: Tiago’s been doing her dream feed now with a bottle.)

#SheWouldNotGoBackToSleepForAnHourButIJustReadMyBookWhilstGentlyEncouragingHerHereAndThere #ItIsABetterApproachForMeThanJustTryingToGoBackToSleepAsWhenItTakesHerAgesIGetAnnoyedIfIAmActivelyTryingToSleep

I like to read at weird times of the night now. Though I wake up at 5/6 when she wants her next feed and I feel fine. Tiago usually looks after her once I’ve finished feeding, so I can get some more sleep but then I usually wake up feeling awful. I’m going to have to start getting up at 7am like a lot of the sleep schedules recommend. It won’t be so bad now if she is sleeping better.

(29th: At the moment I’m reading House of Glass by Hadley Freeman.)

#SheStartedToFallAsleepDuringLunchTodaySoWePutHerInHerCot

I wasn’t sure whether or not to put her to sleep before we started to eat. I was bouncing her in her bouncer and saw her eyes closing, so to bed she went.

#SheFellAsleepQuickAndThenWokeUpAbout20MinutesAgoButTJustTouchedHerChestAndSheWentBackToSleep

Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t, though I need to wake her up to feed her now. She’s been asleep for about 90 minutes.

#SheIsApparentlyDueToHaveADevelopmentalLeapWhichMightExplainWhySheHasBeenABitDifferentLately

It is either that or a sleep regression, or a bit of both. We both feel a bit more confident now about navigating them. We’ll see what I say in the next post…


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Oh Me, Oh Mãe

I Smacked My Nose Round The Corner Of A Wall (9th September 2020)

I Smacked My Nose Round The Corner Of A Wall (9th September 2020)
 
#ParentingIsDangerousOrAtLeastMyOwnStupidityIs
#BHasNotBeenSleepingWellForAWeekOrSo
#SheUsedToPutHerselfToSleepForSomeNaps
#AndNowSheJustCriesWhenIPutHerInHerCot
#SoYesterdayWeWatchedSomeVideosOnSleepTipsAndSheManagedToSleepFor5HoursForTheFirstTimeInAges
#SheDidWakeUpButSheManagedToGoBackToSleep
#ItWasSayingYouShouldTryToLetBabiesHaveANapInTheirCotAtLeastOnceADay
#SoThisMorningTiagoPutHerDownForANap
#SheWasTalkingToHerselfSoIWentInToCheckOnHerAfterAWhile
#ThenIWentToLeaveButSawAMilkBottleLidOnMyBedsideTableSoILeantAroundTheCornerToPickItUpAsIDidNotWantToBeInHerFieldOfVision
#ItHasBeenThereForAWeekButObviouslyTodayIHadToPickItUp
#ThenWhenIStoodBackUpAndWentToMoveAwayAtTheSameTimeISmackedMyNoseRoundTheWallCorner
#TiagoWasInTheNextRoomSoISaidDidYouHearThat
#ThenIJustKneltDownAndPutMyHeadOnTheFloorHalfLaughingHalfCrying
#TheNoiseWasSoLoud
#TiagoSaidHeThoughtItWasTheSoundOfASwitchAndThatHeThoughtIHadBeenElectrocutedALittleOrSomething
#IWasCryingInShockMoreThanAnythingButIWasWorriedThatIHadBrokenMyNoseAndIWasLaughingAtMyStupidity
#TiagoSmashedUpSomeIceAndPutItInATowelForMe
#ITookSomePicturesStraightAwayAsBWasStillTryingToSleepInHerCot
#AtSomePointIHadTheIceTowelTiedToMyHeadToTryToWriteTheseHashtags
#IShouldHaveJustLeftBTalkingToHerselfButAsIDisturbedHerSheStartedCryingSoNowSheIsInHerCarrierOnMe
#IThinkSheGotToThePointOfBeingOverTiredWhichMakesItHarderForHerToFallToSleep
#IAmStoodWithASmallTableOnTheTableJustBouncingHerUpAndDownMakingShushingSoundsSoICanTryToDoSomeWork
#IHaveALittleCutOnMyNoseAndBHasOneTooFromScratchingHerNoseTheOtherNight
#WeHadCutHerNailsButWeNeedToGetBetterAtFilingThem
#IThinkMyNoseWillContinueToLookWorseAndItIsStartingToHurtABitMore
#TheGoodThingIsWithThisEraOfTheFaceMasksIsThatICanJustPutOneOnWhenIGoForWalksAndNoOneWillSeeMyBigRedNose
#SomeOfThePicturesFromTheShootLookLikeIHaveJustFashionedABigFaceMaskForMyselfOrLikeItIsBreathingApparatus
#IMightStillGetSomeWeirdLooksAsSomePeopleDoNotLikeToWearThemButAtLeastPeopleUnderstandWhyOthersDoWearThem
#INeedToReadMoreAboutThe3To4MonthSleepRegressionAsIThinkWeHaveHitThatPoint

(I wrote this post on 9th September.)

#ParentingIsDangerousOrAtLeastMyOwnStupidityIs

Tiago blamed sleep deprivation, but it was just me not being careful.

#BHasNotBeenSleepingWellForAWeekOrSo #SheUsedToPutHerselfToSleepForSomeNaps #AndNowSheJustCriesWhenIPutHerInHerCot

There had been a few long nights…

We usually do a dream feed, but the night before she did not sleep for hours afterwards so we thought we would skip it. She woke up by herself at 10.30pm, but at least I had got some sleep so when she didn’t go back to sleep for over two hours I wasn’t losing it like the night before. I ended up feeding her and she fell asleep on me, then stayed asleep when I put her in her cot.

#SoYesterdayWeWatchedSomeVideosOnSleepTipsAndSheManagedToSleepFor5HoursForTheFirstTimeInAges #SheDidWakeUpButSheManagedToGoBackToSleep

Tiago said she woke up at 2am, but he just gentled rocked B’s chest and she went back to sleep. Apparently I woke up but I don’t remember it. They tend to wake up between sleep cycles, so the tips were about not rushing to feed them and trying other things first. They also said that no one really sleeps through the night, but we just learn how to go back to sleep.

Also, it still felt like I had only been asleep for 5 minutes.

#ItWasSayingYouShouldTryToLetBabiesHaveANapInTheirCotAtLeastOnceADay

It also said the first nap of the day is usually the easiest. I have found this to be true, which is why I try to do the first one in the cot and then take her for a walk in the afternoon.

#SoThisMorningTiagoPutHerDownForANap #SheWasTalkingToHerselfSoIWentInToCheckOnHerAfterAWhile

I put her dummy back in, but I should have just left it.

#ThenIWentToLeaveButSawAMilkBottleLidOnMyBedsideTableSoILeantAroundTheCornerToPickItUpAsIDidNotWantToBeInHerFieldOfVision #ItHasBeenThereForAWeekButObviouslyTodayIHadToPickItUp #ThenWhenIStoodBackUpStraightAndWentToMoveAwayAtTheSameTimeISmackedMyNoseRoundTheWallCorner

Genius.

#TiagoWasInTheNextRoomSoISaidDidYouHearThat #ThenIJustKneeltDownAndPutMyHeadOnTheFloorHalfLaughingHalfCrying #TheNoiseWasSoLoud #TiagoSaidHeThoughtItWasTheSoundOfASwitchAndThatHeThoughtIHadBeenElectrocutedALittleOrSomething #IWasCryingInShockMoreThanAnythingButIWasWorriedThatIHadBrokenMyNoseAndIWasLaughingAtMyStupidity

It was a proper smack. I could not believe that I did it…

#TiagoSmashedUpSomeIceAndPutItInATowelForMe

I never think about things like this, so it’s good that he did.

#ITookSomePicturesStraightAwayAsBWasStillTryingToSleepInHerCot

Of course I had to do a shoot. Without the towel my nose just looked a bit pink, but I might take more photos if it gets worse. I hope it doesn’t though…

(Note: It got worse, but I didn’t take a photograph of it – well it does feature in other photos I guess.)

#AtSomePointIHadTheIceTowelTiedToMyHeadToTryToWriteTheseHashtags

I had it tied with another towel, then I tried to use a headband. Tiago replaced the ice with a bag of beans but it was too awkward, so I got something that is meant to be put on your boobs for pain relief. It shapes to my nose a bit better, but I think the initial ice was the best thing.

#IShouldHaveJustLeftBTalkingToHerselfButAsIDisturbedHerSheStartedCryingSoNowSheIsInHerCarrierOnMe

The thing with babies is you never know how they will react, so it’s so easy afterwards to say ‘I should have done this’. Also Tiago looked after her whilst I had a bit more of a sleep, so I didn’t really know how long she had been trying to sleep for etc.

#IThinkSheGotToThePointOfBeingOverTiredWhichMakesItHarderForHerToFallToSleep

I try to follow some kind of schedule, but I need to read her cues more. For me the most obvious sign is still when her eyebrows go pink.

#IAmStoodWithASmallTableOnTheTableJustBouncingHerUpAndDownMakingShushingSoundsSoICanTryToDoSomeWork

My back is starting to hurt. Will have to try to put her down to sleep in the cot next time, otherwise I’ll take her out for a walk.

#IHaveALittleCutOnMyNoseAndBHasOneTooFromScratchingHerNoseTheOtherNight #WeHadCutHerNailsButWeNeedToGetBetterAtFilingThem

I usually cover over her hands with the built in mittens in her onesies, but as she sucks her hands more now I think it is good to leave them uncovered sometimes so she can self-soothe. However, her hands get quite cold and I think this is why she wakes up sometimes.

(Note: We now swaddle her during naps/sleep at home, so we don’t have this issue so much at the moment. When she starts to roll over in her cot then we won’t be able to swaddle her anymore though.)

The nail file is so awkward, I find it harder than the scissors.

#IThinkMyNoseWillContinueToLookWorseAndItIsStartingToHurtABitMore

I should probably keep the ice on it more, but it’s a bit annoying. Okay, okay, I’ll put it back on.

#TheGoodThingIsWithThisEraOfTheFaceMasksIsThatICanJustPutOneOnWhenIGoForWalksAndNoOneWillSeeMyBigRedNose #SomeOfThePicturesFromTheShootLookLikeIHaveJustFashionedABigFaceMaskForMyselfOrLikeItIsBreathingApparatus #IMightStillGetSomeWeirdLooksAsSomePeopleDoNotLikeToWearThemButAtLeastPeopleUnderstandWhyOthersDoWearThem

I wear masks in shops and inside places, but I don’t while walking – though I think this will change today. Shops don’t seem to tell people off for not wearing face masks. Some restaurants have all staff everyone wearing masks or visors, whilst others don’t have them on. It looks like the rules are changing again anyways.

(Note: Now we have local lockdown and we have to wear masks in communal spaces in the building we live in. A lot of people still don’t seem to, but I do.)

#INeedToReadMoreAboutThe3To4MonthSleepRegressionAsIThinkWeHaveHitThatPoint

The joys of parenthood. Everyday is a school day.


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Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Answering The Door Looking A Mess (27th August 2020)

Answering The Door Looking A Mess (27th August 2020)
 
#IKnewSomePeopleWereCheckingAllTheFireDoorsInTheBuildingTodayButIDidNotKnowWhatTimeTheyWouldCheckOurDoor
#IDidThinkAboutPuttingADressOnButThoughtTheyWouldNotComeUntilALotLater
#IWasUpAndHadFedBAndChangedHerAndWashedHerWithAFlannel
#IHadMadeUpANewSongForHerAboutWhenIDancedInAMusicVideoWhilstIWas6MonthsPregnantWithHer
#HeyThereHeyThereMissBB
#SawYouOnTheTV
#InYourMummysBelly
#SheWasDancing
#ToASongCalledDanca
#NoEffectsOorEnhancer
#SheMovedJustLikeJelly
#ItIsFunMakingUpSongsForHerAndIHadSungItAbout20TimesAsSheSeemedToBeSingingAlong
#AndThenTheDoorWent
#IScrambledToFindMyUsualDressButICouldNot
#ThenIFranticallyTriedToGrabSomethingFromTheWardrobe
#IChuckedOnANursingDressThatIHaveNotWornYetButItWillBeGoodForTheAutumnWhenItIsLessHot
#GotToTheDoorAndRealisedHowShortItWasButJustOpenedTheDoor
#ThereWereAboutFourGuysThereNotStoodVeryFarApart
#IJustOpenedItAndBackedAwayBecauseOfSocialDistancingAndAll
#HeLookedALittleShockedAndSaidItWouldTakeAMinute
#IJustSaidOkayOkayAndRanBackToTheBedroomToScrambleToPutSomeLeggingsOn
#ByTheTimeIHadPutThemOnHeHadAlreadyFinishedAndJustShutTheDoor
#ILookedInTheMirrorAndRealisedHowMessyMyHairWas
#HeProbablyThoughtHeHadWokenMeUpOrSomething
#AndBWasBeingQuietSoHeWouldNotHaveKnownIHadABaby
#LolIDoNotReallyCare
#TheBigRevelationAroundHereIsThatIFoundOutViaAnInstagramStoryTheMeaningOfPinkEyebrows
#SometimesBsEyebrowsAreQuiteRedOrPinkAndIThoughtItWasASkinThing
#ButItTurnsOutThatItIsASignThatSheIsSleepySoIKnowThatItIsTimeForHerToTakeANapNow
#SometimesIAmLikeThereIsNoWaySheIsTiredButSheGoesToSleepPrettyFast

#IKnewSomePeopleWereCheckingAllTheFireDoorsInTheBuildingTodayButIDidNotKnowWhatTimeTheyWouldCheckOurDoor
#IDidThinkAboutPuttingADressOnButThoughtTheyWouldNotComeUntilALotLater

Yet another building with the same cladding as Grenfell Tower.

(If you’re not from the UK/don’t know about it, it is a tower block that caught fire in 2017 and sadly 72 people died.)

#IWasUpAndHadFedBAndChangedHerAndWashedHerWithAFlannel

Smashing it, I know.

#IHadMadeUpANewSongForHerAboutWhenIDancedInAMusicVideoWhilstIWas6MonthsPregnantWithHer

This one.

#HeyThereHeyThereMissBB
#SawYouOnTheTV
#InYourMummysBelly
#SheWasDancing
#ToASongCalledDanca
#NoEffectsOorEnhancer
#SheMovedJustLikeJelly

I love how I just randomly sing things that I like the sound of, and then manage to turn them into a little song. I am sure I’ve stole the tune from something. I will try to do a little Instagram video of it soon.

#ItIsFunMakingUpSongsForHerAndIHadSungItAbout20TimesAsSheSeemedToBeSingingAlong

I recorded a video of B singing along to it and sent it to Tiago. It also helps me remember the songs I make up. For some reason I kept forgetting the tune of this one.

#AndThenTheDoorWent

Of course.

#IScrambledToFindMyUsualDressButICouldNot

Obviously I found it later hanging on the bathroom door.

#ThenIFranticallyTriedToGrabSomethingFromTheWardrobe

Wasting so much time scanning to and fro looking for something quick to throw on.

#IChuckedOnANursingDressThatIHaveNotWornYetButItWillBeGoodForTheAutumnWhenItIsLessHot

It seemed like a wise choice.

#GotToTheDoorAndRealisedHowShortItWasButJustOpenedTheDoor

A few quick strong tugs on it before I went for the handle… I really didn’t think it was that short before.

#ThereWereAboutFourGuysThereNotStoodVeryFarApart

Hello social distancing…

#IJustOpenedItAndBackedAwayBecauseOfSocialDistancingAndAll

…Well, none from them and all from me.

#HeLookedALittleShockedAndSaidItWouldTakeAMinute

I did look a right state.

#IJustSaidOkayOkayAndRanBackToTheBedroomToScrambleToPutSomeLeggingsOn
#ByTheTimeIHadPutThemOnHeHadAlreadyFinishedAndJustShutTheDoor

Great! I was glad it was all done so soon, so that we could get on with our day. I hate that feeling of not knowing when someone will knock on the door…

#ILookedInTheMirrorAndRealisedHowMessyMyHairWas
#HeProbablyThoughtHeHadWokenMeUpOrSomething

Yep, I looked a state. I immediately headed back to B and took a picture of myself, so I could laugh at myself in this post.

(I think I have a bit of a bogey sticking out of my nose too – great!)

#AndBWasBeingQuietSoHeWouldNotHaveKnownIHadABaby

When I want her to cry she doesn’t…

#LolIDoNotReallyCare

Hence why I am showing it to the (potential) world. (Who really looks at my stuff?)

#TheBigRevelationAroundHereIsThatIFoundOutViaAnInstagramStoryTheMeaningOfPinkEyebrows
#SometimesBsEyebrowsAreQuiteRedOrPinkAndIThoughtItWasASkinThing
#ButItTurnsOutThatItIsASignThatSheIsSleepySoIKnowThatItIsTimeForHerToTakeANapNow
#SometimesIAmLikeThereIsNoWaySheIsTiredButSheGoesToSleepPrettyFast

Though now I know this it seems like always has pink eyebrows. She wakes up from a nap and has pink eyebrows.

I’m still working on seeing how she can take longer naps without being in a carrier, in the pushchair being pushed or asleep on T or I. She does occasionally nap for more than 20 minutes in her cot during the day, but it does seem rare. I will persevere…

(I wrote this on the day I took the picture I think. Napping and sleep has improved – stay tuned!)


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