Categories
Pregnancy Waiting II

Portrait Of A Mother Of A Thirteen Month Old (11 Weeks? / 14th July 2021)

Me lying in bed hugging my pregnancy pillow, with a face mask sat on my forehead and with a hand to my mouth.
Portrait Of A Mother Of A Thirteen Month Old (11 Weeks? / 14th July 2021)

#ItSeemsQuiteFittingToTakeAPhotoOfMeLyingInBed
#IFeelLikeIDoSoAtAnyChanceIHaveNow
#IAmJustSoTiredAndItIsFunnyReadingBackOldEntriesWhenIDidNotKnowIWasPregnantYetAndJustSayingHowTiredIWas
#ISawAPregnantFriendTheOtherDayWhoAlsoHasOneKidAndSheWasSayingTheFirstTrimesterWasTheWorst
#IAmHopingMyEnergyWillReturnSoon
#IHaveFeltSoInspiredToMakeOtherWorkButJustHaveNoEnergyForIt
#IHaveBeenTryingToOnlySleepOnMyLeftSideButIAmFindingMyRightSideAndBackMoreComfortableAtTheMoment
#TalkingOfSleepingWeWentToLiverpoolForTheWeekendAndOnTheFirstDayBMissedHerSecondNap
#SheHadWokenUpFortyMinutesEarlyFromHerFirstOneWhichMeantMeTryingToEntertainHerInTheCarWhichWasUsJustReadingThroughAllOfHerBooks
#WePlannedToLetHerSleepInHerPushchairForHerSecondNapButWeWereOutForFortyMinutesWithNoSuchLuck
#ThenWeTriedToPutHerDownInACotButAfterFifteenMinutesWeGaveUpSoSheWasUpForNineHours
#WeGotIntoBedAtAroundEightAndWentToSleepAtNineThirty
#TheNextDayBHadASuperShortNapAfterWakingUpAtHerUsualTimeOfPreSix
#ButOnTheWayHomeSheSleptForTwoHoursAndICouldNotWakeHerUp
#IWasWorriedThatSheWasGoingToDropHerSecondNapButNotYetPhew
#YesterdaySomeoneWasAskingMeHowIKnewIWasReadyForASecondKidAndSheTalkedAboutHerFriendsGettingBroody
#IWasNotBroodyAtAllButIJustWantedToTryAndHaveASecondOneBeforeWeReallyKnewWhatWeWereInFor
#BIsBecomingDifficultToChangeAndOftenWillCryLoudlyForWhatSeemsLikeNoReasonAtAll
#TheOtherDayWeWereTryingToGiveHerYoghurtAndSheWasScreamingSoIJustCopiedHer
#StraightAwaySheChangedHerTuneAndStartedToLaughAndAteAllOfHerYoghurt
#ItMaybeIsNotTheBestSolutionEveryTimeButItWasMuchBetterThanGettingStressedOutAndAnnoyed
#AfterwardsWeHadAFunGameOfHerTryingToStealMyEmptyBowlOfCrispsWhenMyBackWasTurned
#SheIsBecomingQuiteTheFoodThiefTheseDaysWithHerTryingToTakeWhateverWeHave
#IHaveNotBeenSickInACoupleOfDaysButIHaveGaggedAFewTimes
#IThinkTheMoreTiredIAmTheWorseIFeelAsLastNightBeforeBedIFeltSoSickAndIWasAsleepBeforeTen
#IWasAwakeFromFourToFiveButThenCouldNotGetUpOnceBHad
#TheGovernmentHasChangedTheirStanceABitWithMasksAfter19thJulyButItSeemsLikeSomePeopleStoppedWearingThemAWhileAgo
#BsWalkingIsDefinitelyImprovingDayByDayNowAndSheCanTakeQuiteAFewStepsNow
#AtHerBabyClassSomeoneWasSayingSheFeelsLikeBIsTheCelebrityOfTheClassAsEveryoneKnowsHerName
#SheReallyLikesToTryToStealEveryonesStuffButEveryoneIsNiceAboutIt

#ItSeemsQuiteFittingToTakeAPhotoOfMeLyingInBed

Well, I am yet to take it yet but it is what I have in mind. Lying in bed with my eye mask on (the one I got as an emergency in case I had to go into hospital to give birth to B – which I did).

#IFeelLikeIDoSoAtAnyChanceIHaveNow

Tiago had gone out with B to the supermarket the other night (for the first time in ages). I was about to go to sleep when I could hear that my Uncles were visiting. ‘Why does it have to be today?’ But it was nice to see them.

(19th September: I was disappointed to miss them the other day as B and I were both napping, and they only made a short visit.)

#IAmJustSoTiredAndItIsFunnyReadingBackOldEntriesWhenIDidNotKnowIWasPregnantYetAndJustSayingHowTiredIWas

I was confused as to why I was so tired. I’m taking double the amount of iron now, and my vitamins, but I guess it is just a big part of the first trimester. Great.

#ISawAPregnantFriendTheOtherDayWhoAlsoHasOneKidAndSheWasSayingTheFirstTrimesterWasTheWorst

She also had sickness and just felt so tired. I actually think I might have mentioned this in my last post, but it was on my mind.

#IAmHopingMyEnergyWillReturnSoon

I hope so. I am getting into bed as soon as I finish writing this.

#IHaveFeltSoInspiredToMakeOtherWorkButJustHaveNoEnergyForIt

By the time my energy returns the inspiration may have gone. What can I do?

#IHaveBeenTryingToOnlySleepOnMyLeftSideButIAmFindingMyRightSideAndBackMoreComfortableAtTheMoment

It is early days, so I do not need to really worry about how I am sleeping yet but I try to sleep on my left anyways. Sometimes I want to sleep on my front, but I am avoiding it.

#TalkingOfSleepingWeWentToLiverpoolForTheWeekendAndOnTheFirstDayBMissedHerSecondNap

It was a friend’s first birthday, so she obviously did not want to miss a minute of it.

#SheHadWokenUpFortyMinutesEarlyFromHerFirstOneWhichMeantMeTryingToEntertainHerInTheCarWhichWasUsJustReadingThroughAllOfHerBooks

I say us. I mean it was me reading to her. I was hoping to have a nap, so I was tired, and Tiago was also tired from driving. Tired family.

#WePlannedToLetHerSleepInHerPushchairForHerSecondNapButWeWereOutForFortyMinutesWithNoSuchLuck

Nothing like pushing B round a park screaming. (Her, not me.)

#ThenWeTriedToPutHerDownInACotButAfterFifteenMinutesWeGaveUpSoSheWasUpForNineHours

She did not seem that tired though.

#WeGotIntoBedAtAroundEightAndWentToSleepAtNineThirty

B had gone to bed at 7:50. Brushed teeth and into bedddd.

#TheNextDayBHadASuperShortNapAfterWakingUpAtHerUsualTimeOfPreSix

She will usually have 2 hours if she’s up that early, but it was more like 40 minutes.

#ButOnTheWayHomeSheSleptForTwoHoursAndICouldNotWakeHerUp

I did not want her to sleep for that long as I was worried she would have a super late bedtime. She went to bed at 7:45pm, as the England v Italy game was at 8pm and it was fine. She slept until her usual time.

#IWasWorriedThatSheWasGoingToDropHerSecondNapButNotYetPhew

I am not ready yet.

#YesterdaySomeoneWasAskingMeHowIKnewIWasReadyForASecondKidAndSheTalkedAboutHerFriendsGettingBroody #IWasNotBroodyAtAllButIJustWantedToTryAndHaveASecondOneBeforeWeReallyKnewWhatWeWereInFor

It’s really down to wanting two kids and feeling like I’m not up to much at the moment besides looking after B, so it seems like a good time to try to have another one. My body felt strong enough. I have been so anxious this week about the pregnancy, but I am trying to stay calm. Two weeks until my first scan…

#BIsBecomingDifficultToChangeAndOftenWillCryLoudlyForWhatSeemsLikeNoReasonAtAll

I am still struggling to change her nappies, and then add in her excessive wriggling and escaping. It’s great.

#TheOtherDayWeWereTryingToGiveHerYoghurtAndSheWasScreamingSoIJustCopiedHer

I remember my Mum doing it with me when I was crying crocodile tears.

#StraightAwaySheChangedHerTuneAndStartedToLaughAndAteAllOfHerYoghurt

Nothing like laughter to get you out of a bad mood. I think she is teething a lot at the moment, so that might be why.

#ItMaybeIsNotTheBestSolutionEveryTimeButItWasMuchBetterThanGettingStressedOutAndAnnoyed

Obviously if she was really upset it would not be a nice thing to do, but when it seems like she just doesn’t want to do something it is a nice trick. I’d rather make her laugh than get really pissed off.

#AfterwardsWeHadAFunGameOfHerTryingToStealMyEmptyBowlOfCrispsWhenMyBackWasTurned

I had some crisps in the bowl. She was trying to eat them. I then put the bowl on the table and she kept going to it and digging her hands in. Later on I had my back to her and she would touch the bowl while my back was turned, then I’d turn round to look at her and she would laugh. I do love when she laughs.

#SheIsBecomingQuiteTheFoodThiefTheseDaysWithHerTryingToTakeWhateverWeHave

She was trying to eat my Nan’s breakfast again today. I had some strawberries the other night and my plate was empty, but she would just scratch the plate anyways and then lick her fingers. She is funny.

#IHaveNotBeenSickInACoupleOfDaysButIHaveGaggedAFewTimes

Nothing like going to the bathroom and expecting to be sick, but just dry heaving instead. Or sometimes it is just when I am in the kitchen. The body is weird.

#IThinkTheMoreTiredIAmTheWorseIFeelAsLastNightBeforeBedIFeltSoSickAndIWasAsleepBeforeTen

I hadn’t napped during her second nap, so I felt tired. When I get tired I faff, but I should just relax instead. I was going to hang up the washing, but I stood up and thought I was going to be sick. I had to lie down in bed as I had already brushed my teeth and did not fancy being sick.

#IWasAwakeFromFourToFiveButThenCouldNotGetUpOnceBHad

I read some of my book to try to feel sleepy again. T and B were up from 5:40. I slept for another hour. Thanks Tiago.

#TheGovernmentHasChangedTheirStanceABitWithMasksAfter19thJulyButItSeemsLikeSomePeopleStoppedWearingThemAWhileAgo

Though I’ve just seen that masks will still be mandatory on London transport. That’s good.

#BsWalkingIsDefinitelyImprovingDayByDayNowAndSheCanTakeQuiteAFewStepsNow

She can do more than a few really. Ten plus quite confidently, maybe more? I need to get her some shoes. I’ve ordered a foot measurer, so we can just measure them when we want to and order online.

#AtHerBabyClassSomeoneWasSayingSheFeelsLikeBIsTheCelebrityOfTheClassAsEveryoneKnowsHerName

I feel bad as I do not know many of the names (unless I think back to the register), but the teachers are always commenting on what B is doing. She was scared of some animal puppets again yesterday 🙁

#SheReallyLikesToTryToStealEveryonesStuffButEveryoneIsNiceAboutIt

Shoes, phones, toys, pushchairs, whatever. If it is there B will have it.

I maybe have time for an hour nap if my brain switches off quick enough…

11 weeks pregnant with B comparison:

A close-up of my face showing a couple of spots in my hairline.
I Feel Like My Body Has A Big Job To Perform Now (11 weeks)

#FeelingConcernedAsIHaveNotFeltSickThisEveningButIFeltSickDuringTheDay 
#MaybeIHaveJustEatenEnoughDinner 
#IWillProbablyFeelSickInAnHour 
#IHeardThatSourSweetsAreGoodForSickness 
#IFoundSomeGoodVeggieSweets 
#DoNotThinkTheyReallyHelpedWithTheSicknessButTheyTasteGood 
#Anyways 
#ThisTextIsSupposedToBeAboutSpots 
#WhenIHadTheCoilISuddenlyStartedToGetLotsOfSpotsOnMyScalp 
#IFiguredItWasDueToTooMuchCopperInMyDietAndInMyBody 
#SoMaybeIHaveBeenEatingALotOfThingsThatHaveCopperInThem 
#ButIDoubtIt 
#IGuessTheSpotsAreMoreToDoWithHormones 
#MyFaceFeelsSpottierTooButIThinkThatHasALotToDoWithTheWeather 
#AsMySkinGetsWorseThanNormalInTheWinter 
#ButIHaveBigSpotsOnMyHairline 
#INoticedThemTheOtherDayButTheySeemBiggerNow 
#FunTimes 
#MaybeINeedToWashMyHairMoreAndIHaveBeenWearingAHat 
#SoMaybeThatPlaysAPartInIt 
#CanNotBelieveIAm11WeeksNow 
#StillNervous 
#TiagoCanNotLieToSaveHisLifeSoHeToldAFewPeopleYesterday 
#SoTheNumberOfPeopleWhoKnowHasNowGrown 
#IJustFeelMorePressureNow 
#NoOneIsPuttingPressureOnMe 
#ButIFeelLikeMyBodyHasABigJobToPerformNow 
#AndIAmNervousThatThereIsPlentyOfTimeForThingsToGoWrong 
#NotFeelingSickNowIsABitWorrying 
#ButIThinkThatIWillGoBrushMyTeethNowAndThatWillProbablyMakeMeFeelSick 

(19th September: Using an image with a border as my laptop stopped charging the other day, and T’s laptop seems incapable of opening editing software – I also have to paste the letter s whenever I want to use it. I am hoping to have my own again in a few days.)

I have felt just as anxious this time as I did with B. I haven’t eaten any sour sweets (I actually forgot about this), but I was eyeing up someone’s sweets on the train the other day.

My face was spotty for a bit, which was probably hormones.

I have been washing my hair even less probably, but it doesn’t look too bad.

I am now 20 weeks and I dry heave again when I brush my teeth in the evenings. This has gone on for longer than when I was pregnant with B…

I feel like I do have a big job ahead of me again, but I am a bit more relaxed about it in ways as I have been through it all once before, and I am feeling a bit more like what will happen will happen – though obviously I am hoping for the best outcomes. Fingers crossed.


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Categories
Pregnancy Waiting II

I Just Want To Know How Pregnant I Am (9 Weeks? / 3rd June 2021)

A duvet cover hangs in the background as a backdrop. I am facing the left of the image with my hand on my hip. I am wearing a dark blue top and black leggings. Half of my hair is tied up in a messy bun, and I am arching my back.
I Just Want To Know How Pregnant I Am (9 Weeks? / 3rd June 2021)
 
#AmIFiveWeeksOrNineWeeksIJustWantToKnow
#IThinkIAmNineButIWillNotKnowForSureUntilADatingScan
#ThisPictureIsImitatingAPictureITookOfMyselfInJanuaryWhenIMayHaveBeenSevenWeeksPregnant
#ItIsWeirdThinkingHowPregnantICouldHaveBeenRightNow
#IAmNotLookingForwardToBDroppingANapSoonAsILikeHavingTimeToRestAndDoMyOwnStuffWhenSheSleeps
#IAmQuiteTiredAndISeemToWakeUpALotInTheNightNowButFindItHardToNapDuringTheDay
#IAmNotSureIfThisIsDueToBeingPregnantOrIfItIsBecauseOfTheWeather
#TheOtherDayBeforeITookTheTestTiagoSaidIMustBePregnantAsHeSawAMagpieAndSpokeToIt
#WhenHeWasOutsideOfTheHospitalWaitingForNewsOnMeBeforeBWasBornHeSpokeToAMagpieForReassurance
#ThisAllSoundsWeirdAndIsVeryUnlikeTiagoButIGuessInAnxiousTimesWeTakeComfortInWhatWeCan
#SpeakingOfBirdsAsItHasBeenSoHotBAndMeHaveJustBeenPlayingInTheGardenALot
#TheOtherDayIRealisedThatThereIsABlackbirdsNextRightByOurFavouriteSpotInTheShade
#FromTimeToTimeWeHaveToMoveAsICanSeeTheParentBlackbirdsWaitingWithFoodInTheirMouths
#TheyWillNotFlyToTheNestWhileWeAreAroundAsIThinkTheyThinkItIsTopSecretOrSomething
#IOnlyFoundItAsIHeardTheChicksCheepingAndRealisedTheyWereReallyCloseBy
#SoNowIHaveStartedToTakeBToTheParkMoreAndWeSitInTheShadeThere
#ItIsLessStressfulAsInTheGardenBHasALeafInHerMouthEveryFiveSeconds
#SheIsGettingCheekierEveryDay
#SometimesIPretendToChaseHerAndSheLaughsThoughSheGenerallyJustCrawlsIntoADeadEnd
#NanSaidThatYesterdayBTookAStepAndIDidNotReallyBelieveHer
#ThenThisMorningBWasStoodUpInFrontOfMeAndThenDidStepOnce
#SheIsStillBuildingUpHerStrengthButIsGettingBetterWithHerWalker
#SheAlsoHasASecondToothNowWhichMustHaveBeenWhySheKeptWakingUpSoMuchOneNightLastWeek
#BIsGettingMoreFidgetyAndHarderToChangeSoIDoWorryHowItWillBeIfAndWhenIAmMorePregnant
#IHaveToSingHerFavouritePortugueseSongsToTryToChillHerOutButTheyDoNotAlwaysWork
#IGetNervousEveryTimeIGoToTheBathroom
#EspeciallyIfIHaveNotLongHadACramp
#INeedToRememberThatGoodishCrampsExistTooAsItIsJustASignOfThingsStretching
#IAmTryingToBeatMyselfUpLessAboutMyMotheringNow
#AsLongAsIAmTryingMyBestThenThatIsAllICanDo

#AmIFiveWeeksOrNineWeeksIJustWantToKnow

I feel like I have/had too many symptoms to only be 5 but you never know. I do worry that my body was faking some as I thought I may be.

#IThinkIAmNineButIWillNotKnowForSureUntilADatingScan

Just got to wait for my doctor to call me next week then we can get the ball rolling.

(8th August: I can not believe that I thought I was 9 weeks. I know I just wanted to be further along than I was, but yeah… this photo shows nothing. I was 5 weeks here. I’m a bit embarrassed of this picture, but oh well.)

#ThisPictureIsImitatingAPictureITookOfMyselfInJanuaryWhenIMayHaveBeenSevenWeeksPregnant

I haven’t done the shoot yet, but that is what I intend to copy.

(8th August: Here is the original with hashtags –

A duvet cover hangs in the background as a backdrop. I am facing the left of the image with my hand on my hip. I am wearing a dark blue top and black leggings. Half of my hair is tied up in a messy bun, and I am arching my back.
I Worry When I Do Not Feel Sick (7 Weeks / 23rd January 2021)
 
#IWorryWhenIDoNotFeelSickButThenIRealiseIDoSoThenIDrinkWaterAndIFeelBetter
#SometimesICanFeelASlightTickleInMyTummyButItProbablyJustThingsStartingToStretchAgain
#TheDoctorSaidNotToExpectToHearFromTheHospitalAnytimeSoonButIGotALetterInThePostTwoDaysAfterOurCallSayingToGiveThemARing
#TheySaidThereIsABacklogForAppointmentsDueToCovidButTheyWillDoTheAppointmentsWhenTheyCan
#TheFirstAppointmentWillJustBeOverThePhoneThisTimeToTakeDetailsWhichIsFine
#TheSecondAppointmentWillBeInPersonAndTheyWillDoTheBloodTestsThenAndOtherChecks
#LastTimeTheyTriedToDoABloodTestAtMyFirstAppointmentButTheyCouldNotAsMyBodySaidNo
#ThenTheyMadeMeGoSomewhereElseToGetItDoneButTheySaidItWasAWasteOfTimeAsTheyWouldDoABloodTestAtMyNextAppointmentSoItSeemsLikeABetterStreamlinedProcessThisTime
#ThoughIThinkBecauseItIsMySecondPregnancyTheyAreLessConcernedAndThereAreUsuallyLessAppointments
#NanSaidThatIWasStartingToShowTheOtherDayButIWasWearingATightTopAndIHadNotLongEatenDinner
#IHaveSaidBeforeThatIFindTheTermBabyBrainInsultingButIHaveBeenDoingDaftThingsLately
#HoweverIWasABitLikeThisAtTheBeginningOfMyLastPregnancyAsIThinkIJustHaveALotOnMyMind
#WithBGoingDownToA2NapScheduleIAmStillGettingUsedToWorkingOutTheTimingsAndWorryingAboutBTakesUpABitPartOfMyBrainSpaceRightNow
#IPutAJumperOnInsideOutWithTheLabelAtTheFrontTheOtherDay
#TiagoKeepsForgettingThatIAmPregnant
#WhenIWasPregnantWithBHeKeptTalkingToMyBumpAndWasSoSureThatTheBabyWouldBeABoy
#HeAskedIfThisTimeIfHeCallsItAGirlItWillTurnOutToBeABoy
#WeWillProbablyFindOutTheGenderThisTimeIfWeCanAsIThinkFindingNamesWeBothAgreeOnWillBeAStruggle
#ItWasWeirdHearingTTalkToMyBellyAndMentionItsSisterB
#IAmImaginingBWithTheBabyAndInMyMindItIsRidiculouslyCute
#WeWantedTwoKidsButNowIAmABitLikeWhatHaveWeSignedUpFor
#ItWillBeFineAndWeWillGetUsedToItButItIsOddThinkingOfUsHavingTwoKids
#IStillFindItWeirdThatIHaveAChildAndBIsNow7MonthsOld
#IHopeThatSheLikesHavingASiblingAndThatTheyGetAlong
#IAmStillNervousAboutHowThePregnancyWillGo
#AWomanWhoCallsMeEvery2WeeksToCheckOnMeTaughtMeAGoodMindfulnessExercise
#BasicallyYouSay5ThingsYouCanSee4ThingsYouCanFeel3ThingsYouCanHear2ThingsYouCanSmellAnd1ThingYouCanTaste
#IGuessItIsAGoodCovidTestAsWell
#LookingBackAtMyLastPregnancyProjectItIsAwkwardHowBellyOrientatedItIsButThatIsTheMainThingThatChangesAboutYouWhenYouArePregnant
#ThisShootWillJustBeAboutHavingSomethingToCompareLaterPregnancyTo
 

)

#ItIsWeirdThinkingHowPregnantICouldHaveBeenRightNow

I can’t be bothered to figure it out, but I guess I would have been due in a few months?

#IAmNotLookingForwardToBDroppingANapSoonAsILikeHavingTimeToRestAndDoMyOwnStuffWhenSheSleeps

I’ll just have to change how I do things. I am worried more because of how tired I may be when I am pregnant. If that’s the case then we might need to look into B going to nursery here and there. I am a bit worried that she might miss out on things the more pregnant I get, but we will have to see and I just need to rest more.

#IAmQuiteTiredAndISeemToWakeUpALotInTheNightNowButFindItHardToNapDuringTheDay

I seem to wake up at 5am every day, plus multiple other times. Great.

#IAmNotSureIfThisIsDueToBeingPregnantOrIfItIsBecauseOfTheWeather

It has been HOT this week. Luckily today it is a bit cooler.

#TheOtherDayBeforeITookTheTestTiagoSaidIMustBePregnantAsHeSawAMagpieAndSpokeToIt #WhenHeWasOutsideOfTheHospitalWaitingForNewsOnMeBeforeBWasBornHeSpokeToAMagpieForReassurance #ThisAllSoundsWeirdAndIsVeryUnlikeTiagoButIGuessInAnxiousTimesWeTakeComfortInWhatWeCan

I just had a dig through our old messages…

‘Just had a magpie sitting [on the traffic sign] next to me’

Me: Nice!

‘Asked him twice if he was the bearer of good news and he replied two times and then took off haha’

I just went to ask him about this more recent incident. He said they always come to him with good news, especially on the days he needs it.

#SpeakingOfBirdsAsItHasBeenSoHotBAndMeHaveJustBeenPlayingInTheGardenALot

It’s been too hot to go for walks.

#TheOtherDayIRealisedThatThereIsABlackbirdsNextRightByOurFavouriteSpotInTheShade

I heard cheeping, realised it was close, found the nest…

#FromTimeToTimeWeHaveToMoveAsICanSeeTheParentBlackbirdsWaitingWithFoodInTheirMouths

This is what made me realise that it was a blackbird nest.

#TheyWillNotFlyToTheNestWhileWeAreAroundAsIThinkTheyThinkItIsTopSecretOrSomething

It did take me a while to see it at first. It’s a good spot. Kudos to them.

#IOnlyFoundItAsIHeardTheChicksCheepingAndRealisedTheyWereReallyCloseBy

I can’t see into the nest, so I want to get a stepladder and have a look. I’m somewhat nervous to in case a parent sees me and attacks me.

#SoNowIHaveStartedToTakeBToTheParkMoreAndWeSitInTheShadeThere

We do not want to disturb the birds. It was so hot walking to the park yesterday, but I wanted to get out.

#ItIsLessStressfulAsInTheGardenBHasALeafInHerMouthEveryFiveSeconds

She must have eaten a fair few leaves the other day. She eats some in the park too, but not as much for some reason.

#SheIsGettingCheekierEveryDay

I like it.

#SometimesIPretendToChaseHerAndSheLaughsThoughSheGenerallyJustCrawlsIntoADeadEnd

It’ll be fun as she gets older and realises how to actually crawl away from me.

#NanSaidThatYesterdayBTookAStepAndIDidNotReallyBelieveHer

I don’t know why, but it just seemed hard to believe.

#ThenThisMorningBWasStoodUpInFrontOfMeAndThenDidStepOnce

It was more just stepping her feet wider apart but she has to start somewhere!

#SheIsStillBuildingUpHerStrengthButIsGettingBetterWithHerWalker

The other day she was pushing it and I was pretending to scream and run away from her. She just needs to learn to turn it round/to avoid things.

#SheAlsoHasASecondToothNowWhichMustHaveBeenWhySheKeptWakingUpSoMuchOneNightLastWeek

Two front bottom teeth. I’m not looking forward to all the others coming through if she wakes up as much as she did that night…

#BIsGettingMoreFidgetyAndHarderToChangeSoIDoWorryHowItWillBeIfAndWhenIAmMorePregnant

Fun times ahead.

I say if and when as it is still early days and I am nervous.

#IHaveToSingHerFavouritePortugueseSongsToTryToChillHerOutButTheyDoNotAlwaysWork

I just sing all the songs from this compilation (quite badly and with most of the wrong lyrics. She gets so excited when she can tell that I’m going to put YouTube on.

#IGetNervousEveryTimeIGoToTheBathroom #EspeciallyIfIHaveNotLongHadACramp

I am not looking forward to more months of worry. I want this baby but it is so stressful.

#INeedToRememberThatGoodishCrampsExistTooAsItIsJustASignOfThingsStretching

Stretching and cleaning. My body has a lot of changing to do.

#IAmTryingToBeatMyselfUpLessAboutMyMotheringNow #AsLongAsIAmTryingMyBestThenThatIsAllICanDo

I need to conserve my energy. I worry that B might miss out on things the more pregnant I get but at least we have more support here. Would I be pregnant now if we lived in Liverpool still? Maybe, maybe not.


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Categories
Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Eighth Family Portrait (24th April 2021)

Eighth Family Portrait (24th April 2021)
 
#IHaveSaidBeforeThatIHadWishWeHadDoneAFamilyPortraitEveryMonthSinceBWasBorn
#ButItDoesNotFeelLikeThatLongSinceTheLastOne
#ItIsTheWeekendAndTiagoSaidHeIsUpForDoingOneThoughSoWhyNot
#HeHasJustComeBackFromHavingHisSecondVaccine
#LastTimeHeHadToTakeTheNextDayOffWorkSoItMadeMoreSenseToGetItOnASaturdayThisTime
#TheWeatherIsNiceSoWeCanJustLazeAroundInTheGardenAtLeast
#ThisWeekWasGoodAsWeDidALotMoreThingsButMaybeItWasTooMuch
#IThinkWeNeedToLimitThingsToOnePlanADayAndThenMaybeHaveANoPlansDay
#YesterdayIThoughtWeWouldSeeIfBWouldTakeHerMorningNapInThePushchairWhichSheHasNotDoneInMonthsss
#IThinkSheOnlySleptFor10MinutesAndSoIWasStressedInsteadOfEnjoyingSeeingFriends
#ThenWeHadBookedOntoAWalkForAnHourAfterwardsAndBWouldNotSleepDuringThatTime
#ThenOnTheWalkSheWasFussySoILeftEarlyAndOfCourseSheFellAsleepOnTheWayHome
#ILetHerHave20MinutesAsItWasLunchtime
#LuckilySheWentOffToSleepWhenIAmUsuallyWakingHerUpFromHer2ndNap
#AndSheOnlyWentToBed30MinutesLaterThanUsualAndSleptWellInTheNightSoItAllWorkedOut
#ItAllSoundsLikeReallyBoringStuffButDueToThePandemicIHaveNotReallyHadToBeSpontaneousAndFlexibleWithHerRoutine
#AndIWorryAboutHowThingsThatHappenDuringTheDayWillAffectHerSleepAtNight
#LuckilyIThinkSheAdaptsPrettyWellSoINeedToStopBeingAStressHead
#WeSeemToHaveFoundTheRightClothesForHerAtBedtimeAsSheHasSleptALotBetterAtNightTheLast2Nights
#WhenIPutHerInHerPushchairNowSheSeemsToKnowThatSheNeedsToBeBuckledInAndAlwaysReachesForTheBottomPartOfIt
#ItMightJustBeSomethingThatSheLikesToMessWithButILikeToThinkThatSheIsHelpingMe
#YesterdayIWasJustRandomlyFilmingBAndItLookedLikeSheWasTryingToDoAYogaSequence
#TheOtherDaySheWasLaughingAtAPigeonDrinkingWaterFromABirdBathAndShakingItsHeadAfterwards
#ItIsAmazingHowMuchSheHasChangedSinceWeMovedHereNearly6MonthsAgo
#NanHasBeenSoKeenToGoToTheHairdressersThatSheWentAWeekEarlyForHerAppointment
#LuckilyTheySqueezedHerInSoSheIsHappy
#WeHaveDecidedToTryToGoToPortugalThisSummerForAWeddingButTiagoNeedsToSortHisPassportOut
#IPlannedToTakeBToSomeCharityShopsWhileTiagoWentToGetSomePhotosDone
#IHadTakenSomeForHimSomeWeeksAgoButTheWebsiteSaidTheyWerePoorDueToUsingFlashEtc
#WeEndedUpJustGoingInOneAsWeGotChattingToANiceLadyForAgesSoWeWillHaveToGoBackAnotherTime

#IHaveSaidBeforeThatIHadWishWeHadDoneAFamilyPortraitEveryMonthSinceBWasBorn

She’s been around for 11 months and this is our eighth, so we haven’t missed many really.

#ButItDoesNotFeelLikeThatLongSinceTheLastOne

Now I feel like if we want to keep doing them monthly then we need to take them at the end of the month. I thought maybe we could try next Saturday instead, but it’s 1st May. So nope, today is the day!

#ItIsTheWeekendAndTiagoSaidHeIsUpForDoingOneThoughSoWhyNot

We are yet to take it, so hopefully we’re all still in the mood later.

(26th May: Well, we managed it. It’s not the best picture, but it was the best out of a bad bunch. Originally I edited it so that she had two left arms (and one was holding a ball), but I didn’t do it very well so I had another go with it last week or so and I much prefer this.)

#HeHasJustComeBackFromHavingHisSecondVaccine

I think that maybe I need to start being proactive and try to find a spare vaccine. There must be some going to waste every day?

Tiago asked a steward and they said to call around 11am, but that the person at reception might be annoyed. Can’t wait to call…

#LastTimeHeHadToTakeTheNextDayOffWorkSoItMadeMoreSenseToGetItOnASaturdayThisTime

He said he is already feeling sick, but I guess we’ll have to see. I’m trying to get my work done ASAP so I can look after him if need be.

(26th May: He was fine.)

#TheWeatherIsNiceSoWeCanJustLazeAroundInTheGardenAtLeast

We don’t have any plans this weekend, so it’s a good time to have a lazy weekend.

#ThisWeekWasGoodAsWeDidALotMoreThingsButMaybeItWasTooMuch

Typical I want to do lots of things, and then I do lots of things and it feels like too much.

#IThinkWeNeedToLimitThingsToOnePlanADayAndThenMaybeHaveANoPlansDay

On Thursday we had no plans and I felt super tired so it’s definitely a good idea. If I know we have some plans here and there then I feel better, so now it’s about finding the right balance. Maybe as I get used to socialising again we can do more.

#YesterdayIThoughtWeWouldSeeIfBWouldTakeHerMorningNapInThePushchairWhichSheHasNotDoneInMonthsss

I was nervous.

#IThinkSheOnlySleptFor10MinutesAndSoIWasStressedInsteadOfEnjoyingSeeingFriends

She seemed to be asleep and I was standing outside of the kid’s playground as I thought the squeaky gate might wake her up. Went through the gate and thought I’d got away with it even though it SQUEAKED, then after not very long I realised she was awake. Fail. We can try again in the future, but maybe it’s best if it is a walk and not somewhere where there are a lot of kids. Luckily I knew we had the rest of the day to make it up.

#ThenWeHadBookedOntoAWalkForAnHourAfterwardsAndBWouldNotSleepDuringThatTime

I had debated just going home, but thought I shouldn’t as it used to be fully booked and I have whined before about people not turning up. I nearly couldn’t find anyone as the person was running late, but just as I was about to give up I found them.

#ThenOnTheWalkSheWasFussySoILeftEarlyAndOfCourseSheFellAsleepOnTheWayHome

I was so stressed out by this point and not in the mood to talk to people anyways. I think we will give the walk a miss in future as B doesn’t like to be stuck in her pushchair for an hour – which I have said before.

I was also glad to go home as it was a warm day and I had washed my water bottle, but it tasted so much of soap. I rinsed it out loads yesterday and it still does. Blergh.

#ILetHerHave20MinutesAsItWasLunchtime

Usually when I stop pushing her she wakes up, but she was in a deep sleep. I felt bad waking her but I was not sure what to do with her schedule. I was hoping if she had a shorter nap that she would be tired enough to have an earlier nap.

#LuckilySheWentOffToSleepWhenIAmUsuallyWakingHerUpFromHer2ndNap

Hurrah. It was only 2 hours after I had woken her up, and she is usually awake for 3 and a half hours after her first nap so it went well. I tried to nap, but it was difficult. I think I only had 10 minutes, then I read some of the 3rd Narnia book – The Horse and His Boy. I am really enjoying the series.

#AndSheOnlyWentToBed30MinutesLaterThanUsualAndSleptWellInTheNightSoItAllWorkedOut

Hurrah.

#ItAllSoundsLikeReallyBoringStuffButDueToThePandemicIHaveNotReallyHadToBeSpontaneousAndFlexibleWithHerRoutine

So it is super stressful for me. Though some parents may read this and be like ‘you need to chill more’. Hopefully with time! I had packed lunch for her in case we wanted to have lunch out after the walk – maybe next time!

#AndIWorryAboutHowThingsThatHappenDuringTheDayWillAffectHerSleepAtNight

I just want her to sleep well as she hasn’t been so much lately – until the last couple of nights. T said maybe she is going through a leap. Checked the app. Lightning sign over the next few weeks. Okay.

#LuckilyIThinkSheAdaptsPrettyWellSoINeedToStopBeingAStressHead

I think having the blackout blinds in her room helped yesterday as well.

#WeSeemToHaveFoundTheRightClothesForHerAtBedtimeAsSheHasSleptALotBetterAtNightTheLast2Nights

At the moment she has a long sleeved vest on and a 2.5 tog sleeping bag. We tried the long sleeved vest with the 1 tog (too cold?), and a long sleeved suit with the 1 tog (too hot?).

#WhenIPutHerInHerPushchairNowSheSeemsToKnowThatSheNeedsToBeBuckledInAndAlwaysReachesForTheBottomPartOfIt

She’s done it the last few days now. I find it really cute.

#ItMightJustBeSomethingThatSheLikesToMessWithButILikeToThinkThatSheIsHelpingMe

She did something similar in her highchair today too – reaching for the strap on one side. However she does like to hold onto her highchair and chew on the buckle when it’s just hanging around.

#YesterdayIWasJustRandomlyFilmingBAndItLookedLikeSheWasTryingToDoAYogaSequence

She put her hands on the floor, then kneeled and put one foot on the floor, then lifted her arms in the air.

#TheOtherDaySheWasLaughingAtAPigeonDrinkingWaterFromABirdBathAndShakingItsHeadAfterwards

I was too late to film it. I just got her looking away from it, doing a loud scream, then turning back to see it was flying away.

#ItIsAmazingHowMuchSheHasChangedSinceWeMovedHereNearly6MonthsAgo

We hadn’t even started to wean her before we moved here, and now she is picking chunks of butternut squash out of her porridge and chewing them down fairly nicely – there was a little choke this morning.

#NanHasBeenSoKeenToGoToTheHairdressersThatSheWentAWeekEarlyForHerAppointment

I was thinking it was a bit soon considering they had called her two days ago.

#LuckilyTheySqueezedHerInSoSheIsHappy

She was also happy to get out of the house for a bit.

#WeHaveDecidedToTryToGoToPortugalThisSummerForAWeddingButTiagoNeedsToSortHisPassportOut

The trip used to be a right faff without a baby and a pandemic, so let’s see how it goes. Two flights, probably starting off from Manchester or London, maybe getting cancelled due to Covid, maybe having to isolate somewhere, yeah I am already stressed. Tiago hasn’t seen his family in 18 months and he hasn’t been to his home island in 2 years…

(26th May: H got his passport last week. I knew it came quicker than we thought it would, but wow that was fast. The site said it was a 10 week wait…)

#IPlannedToTakeBToSomeCharityShopsWhileTiagoWentToGetSomePhotosDone

Baby clothes, baby books, baby toys – let’s see what they’ve got!

#IHadTakenSomeForHimSomeWeeksAgoButTheWebsiteSaidTheyWerePoorDueToUsingFlashEtc

The only room with a plain/empty wall in this house is B’s room, and the windows are on one side of it. Hello shadow. So I tried with flash and they said it was rubbish, so I said Tiago should go to a shop and get it done. I did B’s fine, but I think they are less fussy with babies.

#WeEndedUpJustGoingInOneAsWeGotChattingToANiceLadyForAgesSoWeWillHaveToGoBackAnotherTime

She just asked what I thought of the sunglasses she was trying on, then noticed B and we got talking about the pandemic, classes, life etc.

We have less plans for next week, so let’s see how it goes!


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Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Imitating B Standing Up In Her Cot (17th April 2021)

Imitating B Standing Up In Her Cot (17th April 2021)
 
#ThisSeemsToBeANewSkillThatBHasDevelopedInTheLastFewDays
#ThisMorningTiagoWentToGetHerAndSaidThatSheWasStandingUpInIt
#AtTimesSheGripsSoTightToTheFrameThatHerHandsLoseTheirColour
#IAmSoRelievedThatItIsTheWeekend
#TheWeekdaysJustSeemToDragSoMuchAndByThursdayIAmUsuallyNotFeelingSoGreat
#IWasGladWeGoToGoToAClassThisWeekButThenIJustFeltRubbishAfterwards
#ItWasSoNiceToSitInARoomWithPeopleAndBabiesAndToInteract
#SoEverydaySinceHasJustFeltCrummyAsIWantTheSameExperienceEveryWeekday
#NextWeekWeHaveAFewMoreThingsInOurDiarySoHopefullyItWillBeNicer
#SomeDaysITakeBOutTwiceADayJustToTryToHaveSomeKindOfInteractionWithSomeone
#ItSoundsDumbAsObviouslyWeLiveWithMyNanAndTiagoButSometimesTiagoIsOutOrIDoNotWantToBotherHim
#AlsoAFewMinutesIsNotTheSameAsHangingOutWithSomeoneForAPeriodOfTime
#IFeelBadAsIFeelLonelyWhenISpendAllDayWithB
#SheIsGoodCompanyButItIsNotTheSameAsHavingConversationsWithPeople
#IWorrySheWillReadThisWhenSheIsOlderAndFeelBad
#BILoveYouButThisPandemicHasBeenToughAndThingsAreNotHowIThoughtTheyWouldBe
#IFeelLikePeopleCanSmellTheDesperationOnMeAndAgainMySocialSkillsAreRubbish
#ICanNotBeTheOnlyOneInTheAreaThatFeelsLikeThisThough
#IWouldSignBUpForAClassEverydayButALotClashWithBsNaps
#ICouldTryToRearrangeHerDayButItFeelsLikeABitTooMuch
#EspeciallyAsIDoLikeTheScheduleWeHaveAndIAmUsedToIt
#SoIProbablyShouldNotWhineThenButIAmABitStuckInMyWays
#AtSomePointSheWillGoDownToOneNapADayAndThenThatWillChangeTheDayALot
#ThoughForNowINeedHerToHaveHerTwoNapsSoICanGetThingsDone
#YesterdayIWasSoTiredThatIJustGotIntoBedAndReadAndNappedDuringThem
#MyBodyGetsToAPointWhereItIsSoTiredThatIJustNeedToRestAndRecover
#IThinkTheTirednessIsOftenCausedByMyMentalStateButIfThereIsNothingPressingToDoThenARestIsFine
#AnywaysINeedToStopWhiningAndTryToBeProactiveToMakeTheWeekdaysBetter
#IStillDreadMealtimesABitThoughSheIsEatingWellTheseDays
#HopefullyWithBetterWeatherOnTheWayWeCanJustSitOutsideMoreAndThatWillBeEnoughOfAChangeToMakeTheDaysPassBetter
 

#ThisSeemsToBeANewSkillThatBHasDevelopedInTheLastFewDays

I just walked into her room one day and was surprised to see her doing it. It might have been yesterday, it might have been 2 days ago. I can’t remember, but I do remember thinking yesterday that I should imitate it.

#ThisMorningTiagoWentToGetHerAndSaidThatSheWasStandingUpInIt

So it was the first time he’d seen it.

#AtTimesSheGripsSoTightToTheFrameThatHerHandsLoseTheirColour

Her fingers go white with tiny bits of red.

#IAmSoRelievedThatItIsTheWeekend

It’s been a couple of hours since I wrote these hashtags and I already feel much better – I finished a yoga session (I stopped as I felt in the mood to write these hashtags), I did a shoot, I did 4 dance videos, I edited the dance videos, had breakfast, had a quick shower and now I’m writing these at 10.10am.

(17th May – And then I was super tired. I think I often try to do too much on Saturday mornings when Tiago is around to look after B, and I pay for it later. This Saturday I had to have a long nap in the afternoon.)

#TheWeekdaysJustSeemToDragSoMuchAndByThursdayIAmUsuallyNotFeelingSoGreat

This project is all about trying to be as honest as possible about my motherhood journey. I feel like I’m honest but not as honest as I could be. I am not looking for pity or sympathy or whatever, I just want to say how I am finding things.

#IWasGladWeGoToGoToAClassThisWeekButThenIJustFeltRubbishAfterwards

Some normality (whatever that means) and then back to how it’s been for months.

#ItWasSoNiceToSitInARoomWithPeopleAndBabiesAndToInteract

Like I said in my last post, it was so nice to see B smiling at everyone. Yesterday my Uncles surprised us with a visit and B was crying at them, so I think she doesn’t like people suddenly turning up on her home turf. Well, they were already in the garden but she’d just got up from a nap.

#SoEverydaySinceHasJustFeltCrummyAsIWantTheSameExperienceEveryWeekday

I’ve been looking forward to going to a class for so long, but then yeah the rest of the week just felt like going back to old times.

#NextWeekWeHaveAFewMoreThingsInOurDiarySoHopefullyItWillBeNicer

Our diary is a bit busier next week, so fingers crossed.

#SomeDaysITakeBOutTwiceADayJustToTryToHaveSomeKindOfInteractionWithSomeone

Take B to the swings. See if there is anyone to talk to. And repeat. The other day some small kids were talking to us.

One asked why she did not have shoes.

Me: Because she doesn’t need them yet as she can’t walk. She does have two pairs of socks on though.

Her: Two pairs of socks? That’s a bit greedy!

I told Tiago and he said ‘how do young kids have such a good sense of humour already?’

#ItSoundsDumbAsObviouslyWeLiveWithMyNanAndTiagoButSometimesTiagoIsOutOrIDoNotWantToBotherHim

I can feel quite alone during the weekdays. It’s nice to live with my Nan and we’re grateful to her for letting us live with her, but I do not always see her much in the day either.

#AlsoAFewMinutesIsNotTheSameAsHangingOutWithSomeoneForAPeriodOfTime

I feel bad for bothering Tiago so I try to just wait until he comes out of his ‘office’. His lunch never feels long enough.

#IFeelBadAsIFeelLonelyWhenISpendAllDayWithB

This feels a bit sh*tty to say.

#SheIsGoodCompanyButItIsNotTheSameAsHavingConversationsWithPeople

If she could talk it would be so much different. I still feel like I do not talk to her enough. I wish she could talk. She does babble a lot more now, but it’s not proper conversation.

#IWorrySheWillReadThisWhenSheIsOlderAndFeelBad

I do worry what she will think about all of this when she is older.

#BILoveYouButThisPandemicHasBeenToughAndThingsAreNotHowIThoughtTheyWouldBe

I do love you B. I’m so glad that you exist, but it’s been tough.

And I feel like people read this and think like I act like I’m the only person who has found the pandemic/lockdowns tough. Of course I know I’m not the only one. I think everyone has found it tough in one way or another. This is just my diary of sorts and so I say what I feel.

#IFeelLikePeopleCanSmellTheDesperationOnMeAndAgainMySocialSkillsAreRubbish

I was reading something the other day about just act like you’re the popular kid. If you act like the awkward, anxious person you are then it’s a self fulfilling prophecy. I’d feel like a fake trying to be the popular kid, but I just need to be me and stop caring so much.

#ICanNotBeTheOnlyOneInTheAreaThatFeelsLikeThisThough

I think I said that I posted in our local group about wanting to meet more people. The problem is most people are free to meet up at the weekend, which is fine, but I want more weekday friends. Weekdays are the problem!

#IWouldSignBUpForAClassEverydayButALotClashWithBsNaps

I look most days to see if there are any new ones. I’m going to try out an outdoor exercise class next week if the weather is good, as T can put B to bed and I can still have some time afterwards to do anything that I need to do. I think it will be good for me.

#ICouldTryToRearrangeHerDayButItFeelsLikeABitTooMuch

She is generally getting up around 6.45am now. I don’t want to get her up earlier in able to go to classes. Nah. If she was waking up at 6am every morning still then fair enough, I’d adapt her schedule for classes.

#EspeciallyAsIDoLikeTheScheduleWeHaveAndIAmUsedToIt

It seems to serve us well, except for classes that she naps through.

#SoIProbablyShouldNotWhineThenButIAmABitStuckInMyWays

If you understand then you understand, if you don’t then I don’t know.

#AtSomePointSheWillGoDownToOneNapADayAndThenThatWillChangeTheDayALot

I am hoping that isn’t for a few more months at least.

#ThoughForNowINeedHerToHaveHerTwoNapsSoICanGetThingsDone

Nap in the morning to try to get stuff done, nap in the afternoon to get minor stuff done or have a nap if there is nothing urgent to do. Or if her first nap is rubbish like yesterday, then we just deal with it and try to get more stuff done in the second nap.

#YesterdayIWasSoTiredThatIJustGotIntoBedAndReadAndNappedDuringThem

I haven’t been reading much lately, so I’m trying to get back into it.

I finished reading Life Below Stairs: True Lives of Edwardian Servants by Alison Maloney. It was a short read, but it still took me ages.

Then I started to read The Magician’s Nephew by C.S. Lewis last night. I need an escape of sorts, and I’ve never read all the Narnia books. I know they’re not really for adults, but why not. I’ve just seen that this was published 6th, but my library says it is the first in the series. I was wondering why I had never heard of it before. Oh well.

#MyBodyGetsToAPointWhereItIsSoTiredThatIJustNeedToRestAndRecover

I used to get this before having a baby, so with a 10 month old that I look after all week no wonder I’m due for a period of this.

#IThinkTheTirednessIsOftenCausedByMyMentalStateButIfThereIsNothingPressingToDoThenARestIsFine

I need to look after myself.

Someone just slammed a door downstairs and B seems to have woken up. Great. I’m ready for a nap… I wanted to just lie in bed and rest more this morning but I thought I should get up and start doing my work. I feel less guilty for doing work on weekend mornings as I think that Tiago does not like to start his weekends with work.

#AnywaysINeedToStopWhiningAndTryToBeProactiveToMakeTheWeekdaysBetter

Try to go to more classes/hang out in the park. Try to meet people no matter how awkward it is. Go to a class by myself. Be more positive. Be grateful that I have a small human to look after.

#IStillDreadMealtimesABitThoughSheIsEatingWellTheseDays

I am trying to encourage her to feed herself more these days. It seems to be working.

#HopefullyWithBetterWeatherOnTheWayWeCanJustSitOutsideMoreAndThatWillBeEnoughOfAChangeToMakeTheDaysPassBetter

I say this every post but fingers crossed.

B has gone back to sleep. Phew. I would have a lie down now, but our bedsheets are in the wash so I’m just going to try to do a few more things – post dance videos, edit/backup the shoot, and look at some work work that I need to do.


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Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Imitating How B Used To Drink From Her Cup (19th February 2021)

Me holding a purple baby's cup up to my mouth, but it's completely upside down as that's how my daughter drinks from it.
Imitating How B Used To Drink From Her Cup (19th February 2021)
 
#BUsedToDrinkFromTheTopOfHerCupUntilIGuessHerArmsWereStrongEnoughToHoldItUpHigherAndDrinkFromTheBottom
#ItIsOneOfThoseCupsWhereYouCanDrinkFromAllSidesAndIfTheCupWasFullEnoughThenItWorkedForHer
#IAmWritingThisAfterBHasGoneToBedInTheEveningWhichIsUnusualAsIUsuallyWriteInTheMorning
#ThisWeekHasBeenAQuietWorkWeekSoIHaveBeenTryingToRestButThingsWillPickUpAgainNextWeek
#SoIfIWriteThisNowItMeansIHopefullyWillHaveEnoughToWriteAboutInAFewDaysTimeAndThenICanBalanceThingsWell
#IWasGoingToTryAnotherGroupWalkTodayButTheWeatherWasRubbishAndIEndedUpHavingToSortSomeThingsOut
#BUsuallyGoesDownForNapsQuiteWellButAfter30MinutesSheWasStillAwake
#IThinkSheWasOvertiredSoTheWalkWouldHaveBeenGoodForGettingHerToSleepButOhWell
#ThisMorningIWasMakingABatchOfPorridgeForBAndIAccidentallyPutCayennePepperInInsteadOfCinnamon
#IManagedToGetSomeOutAndThenNearlyPutMoreInAgain
#IUsedToMeasureItOutInASpoonButNowIJustChuckItInAndThenINoticedTheColour
#SoINeedToBeMoreCarefulAndPutItInAfterTheButternutSquashHasCookedSoThatICanJustRinseItOffInFuture
#ITriedItAndICouldNotTasteItAsItIsAMassiveBatchSoHopefullyItWillBeOkayTomorrow
#BIsDefinitelyShowingMorePersonalityLately
#ILikeToPlayPeekabooWithHerAroundDoorFramesAndTodaySheWentOohAndThenArghWhenIAppeared
#ItMadeHerSeemSoMuchOlderThanSheIsAndSheWouldLaughAfterwardsWhichThenMadeMeLaugh
#TiagoWentOutAndISaidToNotScareHerLikeHeDidLastTimeWhenHeOpenedTheDoor
#ThisTimeHeMadeBothOfUsJumpThoughHeSaidHeThoughtHeHadOpenedTheDoorGentlyButAtLeastBDidNotCryForAsLongThisTime
#ThePlaygroundThatITakeBToHasACapacityLimit
#TodayThereWereWayTooManyPeopleInThereSoWeStoodOutsideWaiting
#AGroupOfAdultsWereJustStoodInTheMiddleChattingAndIThoughtTheyWouldGetTheHintAfterAWhile
#PeopleWouldJustGoStraightPastUsAsPerUsualAndGoToWalkIntoThePlayground
#SoIThoughtIWouldActuallyTellPeopleItHadReachedCapacityForOnceAsIfTheyGoInThenItIsEvenMoreSoOverCapacitySoWhyAmIWaiting
#TheCoupleOfPeopleThatIToldWereProbablyJustPissedOffWithMeButTheyJustLeftAfterAMinuteToGoElsewhere
#ThenAnotherWomanEitherDidNotHearMeOrJustIgnoredMeAndThenThreeOtherKidsRanIn
#SoWeDidALapAndThenThereWereEvenMorePeopleInThereSoNoPlaygroundForBToday
#MaybeNoOneCaresAndMaybeIJustRuinedKidsPlaytimesTodayButTheSignIsThereForAReasonRight
#IWouldHaveSaidSomethingToThePeopleStoodInTheMiddleJustChattingButISeeOneOfTheGuysAroundALotSoIDoNotWantToCauseDrama
#SoIWasFeelingGrumpyOnTheWayHomeButThenISpokeToAWomanWithADogWhoWeSeeAroundALotSoIFeltABitBetter
#AndThenAWomanMadeDuckSoundsWhileIShowedBSomeDucksSoThatMadeMeSmileToo

#BUsedToDrinkFromTheTopOfHerCupUntilIGuessHerArmsWereStrongEnoughToHoldItUpHigherAndDrinkFromTheBottom

I meant to do a shoot of this while she was actually doing it but I did not get round to it and she stopped doing it sooner than I thought she would.

#ItIsOneOfThoseCupsWhereYouCanDrinkFromAllSidesAndIfTheCupWasFullEnoughThenItWorkedForHer

She was using a different cup, but she seemed to not be able to control how much she got from that one that much.

She creates a pond when she drinks from this still, but long story short it seems better.

#IAmWritingThisAfterBHasGoneToBedInTheEveningWhichIsUnusualAsIUsuallyWriteInTheMorning

I need to do the shoot after this too.

#ThisWeekHasBeenAQuietWorkWeekSoIHaveBeenTryingToRestButThingsWillPickUpAgainNextWeek

I did not know it was going to be a quiet week so I was on edge a bit, but then I realised I just needed to make the most of it as I was tired.

Typically it would have been a good week to do my funding application, but oh well. The deadline has passed now and I only started to come up with ideas of things to work on next yesterday and today anyways.

#SoIfIWriteThisNowItMeansIHopefullyWillHaveEnoughToWriteAboutInAFewDaysTimeAndThenICanBalanceThingsWell

Good planning (I hope).

I keep a list of things to talk about and I did not even talk about them all – I spent too long whining later on as you’ll see.

#IWasGoingToTryAnotherGroupWalkTodayButTheWeatherWasRubbishAndIEndedUpHavingToSortSomeThingsOut

I nearly signed up yesterday but thought I better leave it in case I had things to do. I felt really tired this morning, and then the weather was rubbish and then I got a couple of emails to deal with anyways.

#BUsuallyGoesDownForNapsQuiteWellButAfter30MinutesSheWasStillAwake #IThinkSheWasOvertiredSoTheWalkWouldHaveBeenGoodForGettingHerToSleepButOhWell

Typical. She was awake when I went to get her up this morning, but being really chill. I do not know how long she had been awake for, so I should have put her to bed 15 minutes earlier really. You live and learn.

#ThisMorningIWasMakingABatchOfPorridgeForBAndIAccidentallyPutCayennePepperInInsteadOfCinnamon

We have a big box of spices and then a smaller one on top. The cinnamon is usually there, but the cayenne pepper is normally not.

#IManagedToGetSomeOutAndThenNearlyPutMoreInAgain

I’d put lots of milk in so it was floating on top.

I should have just emptied it out, but I hate wasting things.

#IUsedToMeasureItOutInASpoonButNowIJustChuckItInAndThenINoticedTheColour

If I had measured it out I would have noticed the colour and then checked the label. To be fair it is in a glass container, but I obviously was not paying attention to the colour then. Classic.

#SoINeedToBeMoreCarefulAndPutItInAfterTheButternutSquashHasCookedSoThatICanJustRinseItOffInFuture

You live and learn.

It’s Joe Wicks’ butternut porridge but I can’t find the recipe online.

#ITriedItAndICouldNotTasteItAsItIsAMassiveBatchSoHopefullyItWillBeOkayTomorrow

I’ll try it before giving it to B tomorrow. Looking at websites they say it’s best to wait until 12 months to introduce cayenne pepper to babies.

I should just really eat that batch of porridge and make B a new batch. She might just have to have plain porridge tomorrow, or she can have the carrot porridge that she used to have (also a Joe Wicks recipe).

(14th March: I tasted it the next day and I did not notice it at all. If anything it actually tasted fresher than usual?)

#BIsDefinitelyShowingMorePersonalityLately

I should have said in the hashtags that even with all the whining I love her so much. It’s exciting to see her personality develop.

#ILikeToPlayPeekabooWithHerAroundDoorFramesAndTodaySheWentOohAndThenArghWhenIAppeared #ItMadeHerSeemSoMuchOlderThanSheIsAndSheWouldLaughAfterwardsWhichThenMadeMeLaugh

She did it in such a funny way. I hope this does not sound mean. I can just walk into the room and she’ll jump…

#TiagoWentOutAndISaidToNotScareHerLikeHeDidLastTimeWhenHeOpenedTheDoor

He went to pick up some food so I knew she would still be eating in her high chair when he came back.

#ThisTimeHeMadeBothOfUsJumpThoughHeSaidHeThoughtHeHadOpenedTheDoorGentlyButAtLeastBDidNotCryForAsLongThisTime

I jumped so high. I think last time Tiago had a hat on so it took her longer to recognise him…

#ThePlaygroundThatITakeBToHasACapacityLimit

I’m sure most do right?

Did I really write this many hashtags about this…

#TodayThereWereWayTooManyPeopleInThereSoWeStoodOutsideWaiting

I could see from a distance it was busy and so I started counting. I did debate going in, but the sign is there for a reason.

Also, I’ve gotten this far without getting Covid, so I want to reduce the risk (though I go on group walks and want to go to baby classes, but some kids get so close to us in there).

#AGroupOfAdultsWereJustStoodInTheMiddleChattingAndIThoughtTheyWouldGetTheHintAfterAWhile

How many awkward glances can I make towards them?

#PeopleWouldJustGoStraightPastUsAsPerUsualAndGoToWalkIntoThePlayground

In the past I have waited but B was a lot younger so I thought fair enough their kids are older. Now that B enjoys going on a swing more, I really wanted to let her go on one. Plus we usually only stay for 5 minutes and the baby swings were free.

#SoIThoughtIWouldActuallyTellPeopleItHadReachedCapacityForOnceAsIfTheyGoInThenItIsEvenMoreSoOverCapacitySoWhyAmIWaiting

I thought the wait would be over soon. I felt awkward telling them, but when I’m pissed off I care less and so am more likely to say something.

I did not want to stand right next to the gate as it is an awkward place to stand, but maybe I should next time. They probably just think I’m waiting for someone or something.

#TheCoupleOfPeopleThatIToldWereProbablyJustPissedOffWithMeButTheyJustLeftAfterAMinuteToGoElsewhere

A woman explained to her two kids that it was over capacity. I felt bad and said you can go in if you want, but she said they try to follow the rules though it is difficult with kids. I felt bad.

Then a guy came along with 3 kids. I felt awkward saying something but the woman and kids had literally just left. It seemed like he was just going to go in anyways but he stood right by the gate (maybe he thought I wasn’t waiting?). Eventually they went off to play in a field – I walked past later and they were having fun so I felt less bad.

#ThenAnotherWomanEitherDidNotHearMeOrJustIgnoredMeAndThenThreeOtherKidsRanIn

She walked to the gate via an awkward route due to where I was stood, so she might have just not heard me. So 5 people just went in, so we were definitely going to be waiting a while.

#SoWeDidALapAndThenThereWereEvenMorePeopleInThereSoNoPlaygroundForBToday

By this point I felt invested in making it into the playground. It’s the last day of half term, so it should not be a problem for a little while now.

#MaybeNoOneCaresAndMaybeIJustRuinedKidsPlaytimesTodayButTheSignIsThereForAReasonRight

I’m sure people are reading this and thinking ‘lol you actually follow those rules?!’ I just feel awkward and guilty very easily. Some people might have judged me for going in like I judged them, and like I said I do not want to catch Covid. Long Covid does not sound nice.

My Nan has had a vaccine but she still might react badly to getting Covid. he playground isn’t that big, and if you want to stand in the same spot for 10 minutes then stand on the other side of the playground fence?

#IWouldHaveSaidSomethingToThePeopleStoodInTheMiddleJustChattingButISeeOneOfTheGuysAroundALotSoIDoNotWantToCauseDrama

I want to get to know people in the area, but I don’t think the way to do it is by getting pissed off and then saying something that just gets me known in a negative way. Frustrating. I feel like I did recognise quite a few people today.

I guess the rules are being relaxed soon, but I do feel a little nervous about it all.

#SoIWasFeelingGrumpyOnTheWayHomeButThenISpokeToAWomanWithADogWhoWeSeeAroundALotSoIFeltABitBetter

I said hi to her the other day as we’ve seen her quite a lot. She said ‘you alright?’ but I just smiled. So today I asked her how she is and she was talking to B, and then we talked about her dog. It was nice. I would have chatted longer, but I was blocking the path. I should have just moved, but I did not want to block her and maybe she only wanted a short chat? Welcome to my boring mind.

#AndThenAWomanMadeDuckSoundsWhileIShowedBSomeDucksSoThatMadeMeSmileToo

B took no notice, but I thought it was sweet that she willing to potentially feel a bit silly for B. Or maybe it was for her own amusement? Anyways, it was fun.

Time to do a shoot… I miss my plain wall.

I used the cupboard in the end, and I also realised that I can’t remember how B had her hands while drinking from the top. I also was trying to work out if it is actually easier to drink from the top than the bottom. I don’t know… I guess if you drink from the top then you don’t have to lower it so much to drink from it. After doing this shoot I think she actually might have just been teething on it more than drinking from it, but again I’m not sure.

Babies 🤷‍♀️


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My Temporary Desk Situation And B Who Was Supposed To Be Having A Long First Nap (22nd January 2021)

My Temporary Desk Situation And B Who Was Supposed To Be Having A Long First Nap (22nd January 2021)
 
#SoLastNightWasNight6OfSleepTraining
#TheFirstNightWasDefinitelyTheWorstAndIThinkThatWasJustBecauseSheWasCold
#TheSecondNightIPutTheHeaterOnATimerButNowWeHaveASmartPlugSoICanControlItFromMyPhone
#WeHaveGenerallyBeenSleepingForAround7HoursANightAtOneTime
#IWishWeHadDoneThisSooner
#SheWillDefinitelyNotBeComingBackToSleepInOurRoomAfterTheTwoWeeksIsOver
#AsAConsequenceIHaveLostMyOfficeSlashStudioRoom
#WePlannedToMoveTheDeskBackToOurRoomButWeHaveNotHadTimeYet
#ItNeedsToBeTakenApartAndPutBackTogetherAgainAsTheDoorwaysAreTooNarrow
#IfBIsAwakeThenICanStillUseTheRoomForSomePhotosAndForMyDanceVideos
#ButOtherwiseINeedToBeMoreCreativeAsThereAreNoOtherFreeBlankWallsInTheHouse
#PerhapsMyWorkIsTooMuchAboutPlainBlankWallsAnyways
#AnywaysWeAlsoDroppedBDownToATwoNapSchedule
#AfterSleepTrainingStartedWeHadTroubleGettingHerDownForAThirdNapSoWeKnewItWasTimeToDropIt
#TheThirdNapWasGettingABitAnnoyingAndIHadBeenShorteningItTo20MinutesSoItWillNotBeMissed
#IWasJustABitStressedAboutFiguringOutARoughScheduleForHerDay
#ButTheFirstDayWentWellSoIWillStickToThatButJustReadjustingForHerWakeupTimes
#SheIsSupposedToStayInHerCotForBetween11And12HoursAtNightSoWeUsuallyGetHerUpBetween6And7Now
#YesterdayWeCouldNotBeBotheredToGetHerUpAt6SoWeGotHerUpALotLaterThanWeShouldHave
#SoWeHadAnOvertiredBabyToDealWithAtNaptimeButItWasNotTooBad
#TodayWeGotHerUpAt10Past6ButIStillHadAVeryOvertiredBabyToDealWithWhoTookAWhileToGoToSleep
#SheUsedToHave2HoursBeforeHerFirstNapButItIsMoreLike3Now
#HopefullySheWillGetUsedToItSoon
#YouAreNotSupposedToStartSleepTrainingForNapsUntilTheyAre10MonthsOldAsForNapsTheyUseADifferentPartOfTheBrain
#HerMealTimesHaveShiftedAndIAmSurprisedThatSheEatsHerPorridgeSoMuchEarlierInTheMorning
#ItIsNiceThoughAsNowWeAllHaveLunchAroundTheSameTimeInsteadOfUsEatingLunchDuringHerNap
#TheAnnoyingThingIsBUsuallyNapsForMostOfTheTimeThatMyMumVisitsButOhWell
#IUsuallyHaveAGoodBitOfTimeToDoWorkDuringHerFirstNapAtLeast
#AndThenHerBedtimeIs7SoIDoSomeWorkAndThenTryToReadABitBeforeGoingToBedAround10
#MyMoodHasBeenBetterAndLookingBackAtMyMoodDiaryMyWorstDaysWereWhenIWasTired
 

#SoLastNightWasNight6OfSleepTraining #TheFirstNightWasDefinitelyTheWorstAndIThinkThatWasJustBecauseSheWasCold

See my previous post.

#TheSecondNightIPutTheHeaterOnATimerButNowWeHaveASmartPlugSoICanControlItFromMyPhone

I hadn’t actually used the timer on the heater before. It was good, but now if I remember I can turn the heater on from anywhere in the house to preheat the room before bed. I have a schedule set up for it during the night, but it’s handy to just be able to change it whenever without having to go into her room all the time.

#WeHaveGenerallyBeenSleepingForAround7HoursANightAtOneTime

We try to go to bed at 10, but one night she woke up just as we were going to sleep and did not settle until 11. Last night she woke up closer to 11 – I was just in that weird half awake half asleep state – but it took only one visit to her room for her to calm down. I think perhaps she wakes up thinking it’s the end of naptime, but we’re like nope it’s not a nap – go to bed!

#IWishWeHadDoneThisSooner

You can start sleep training from between 4 and 6 months apparently.

#SheWillDefinitelyNotBeComingBackToSleepInOurRoomAfterTheTwoWeeksIsOver

It’s so nice not having to tiptoe around the room. Before B would wake up and I’d feel like I had to rush over to her so that Tiago was not disturbed too much as he generally has work in the morning.

Now with her in her own room she probably does wake up in the night (apparently no one sleeps through the night – most of us have just trained ourselves to go back to sleep quickly), but not to the level where we notice.

#AsAConsequenceIHaveLostMyOfficeSlashStudioRoom

This is why I had been putting it off.

#WePlannedToMoveTheDeskBackToOurRoomButWeHaveNotHadTimeYet

So I am just using a little table and sitting on a cushion on a floor. I probably do sit up straighter to be fair. I might have to go back to using my exercise ball as a chair.

#ItNeedsToBeTakenApartAndPutBackTogetherAgainAsTheDoorwaysAreTooNarrow

Hopefully we’ll do it tomorrow as it is the weekend.

#IfBIsAwakeThenICanStillUseTheRoomForSomePhotosAndForMyDanceVideos

Especially once the desk is moved as there will be more space to move her cot out of the way.

#ButOtherwiseINeedToBeMoreCreativeAsThereAreNoOtherFreeBlankWallsInTheHouse

I should have moved my studio light out of the room for now, but B is currently napping in there, so I’ll try this shoot with natural light. If it doesn’t work then I’ll have to get the light later.

#PerhapsMyWorkIsTooMuchAboutPlainBlankWallsAnyways

I like it, but my Nan does have a nice house with lots of interesting walls.

#AnywaysWeAlsoDroppedBDownToATwoNapSchedule

It was easier than I thought. I think I said the same thing about dropping her fourth nap…

#AfterSleepTrainingStartedWeHadTroubleGettingHerDownForAThirdNapSoWeKnewItWasTimeToDropIt #TheThirdNapWasGettingABitAnnoyingAndIHadBeenShorteningItTo20MinutesSoItWillNotBeMissed

Though so far B’s second nap has been about 35 minutes, so that she can go to bed for 7.

#IWasJustABitStressedAboutFiguringOutARoughScheduleForHerDay

Hello writing and crossing things out with a pen on paper.

#ButTheFirstDayWentWellSoIWillStickToThatButJustReadjustingForHerWakeupTimes

Hello writing down times with a pen on paper.

#SheIsSupposedToStayInHerCotForBetween11And12HoursAtNightSoWeUsuallyGetHerUpBetween6And7Now

The first few nights I was waking up at about 5.30 and I felt quite awake, and could not fall back asleep easily.

The next day I said I would just get up then, but B slept until 7 – I had to wake her up! I think 6 will probably be her usual wake up time though.

T likes having a slow start to the day and still managing to start work early. I get to do a bit of yoga too which I like.

#YesterdayWeCouldNotBeBotheredToGetHerUpAt6SoWeGotHerUpALotLaterThanWeShouldHave #SoWeHadAnOvertiredBabyToDealWithAtNaptimeButItWasNotTooBad

I thought it would be a lot worse.

#TodayWeGotHerUpAt10Past6ButIStillHadAVeryOvertiredBabyToDealWithWhoTookAWhileToGoToSleep

I maybe went in too many times, but she did have trouble settling. She kept rolling into her front and could not seem to get comfortable. Yesterday she did sleep well on her front during her first nap though.

#SheUsedToHave2HoursBeforeHerFirstNapButItIsMoreLike3Now #HopefullySheWillGetUsedToItSoon

Lots of singing and dancing today to try to keep her awake. I thought I was putting her down in good time though – obviously not.

#YouAreNotSupposedToStartSleepTrainingForNapsUntilTheyAre10MonthsOldAsForNapsTheyUseADifferentPartOfTheBrain

Maybe this is why she likes on her front for naps but on her back at night? Probably not.

(10th February: I’m not sure how accurate this statement of mine is, so feel free to ignore this hashtag. I feel like I should take it out, but it’s what I thought at the time. I must have read it somewhere though…)

#HerMealTimesHaveShiftedAndIAmSurprisedThatSheEatsHerPorridgeSoMuchEarlierInTheMorning

She has some milk when she gets up, then porridge 2 hours later. Though Tiago thought he wasn’t feeding her until 7 today, so we’ll see how she does lasting until lunch time.

#ItIsNiceThoughAsNowWeAllHaveLunchAroundTheSameTimeInsteadOfUsEatingLunchDuringHerNap

She will probably not be able to join her usual baby classes as she will be asleep during them – and I can’t be bothered to work out a schedule for her to attend them. There are some other classes just before lunch though, which works well. We have done a music class everyday this week so far, plus I usually do a Sophie Pickles class everyday when I am not sure what to do/I want to make sure B is getting proper stimulation.

I’m linking from week 8 as this is when she started to re-record/pre-record the videos so they’re a lot shorter and you don’t have to skip through old shoutouts etc.

#TheAnnoyingThingIsBUsuallyNapsForMostOfTheTimeThatMyMumVisitsButOhWell

Luckily for my Mum she now doesn’t have to feed B porridge and can just have a little playtime with her if she stays long enough.

#IUsuallyHaveAGoodBitOfTimeToDoWorkDuringHerFirstNapAtLeast

On good days I can probably do the hashtags, blog and shoot during the first nap.

The other day I spent an hour and a half cooking during it. I need to get quicker at making things. I blame the red pepper for not grilling…

#AndThenHerBedtimeIs7SoIDoSomeWorkAndThenTryToReadABitBeforeGoingToBedAround10

I think I mentioned that I have started to do some research work, so I tend to do that in the evening but sometimes in the mornings too.

Someone just slammed a door and B woke up… She’s only been asleep for half an hour. Hopefully she settles again soon. Usually once she’s awake from a nap that’s it, but maybe she will as she should sleep for at least another half an hour if not an hour…

#MyMoodHasBeenBetterAndLookingBackAtMyMoodDiaryMyWorstDaysWereWhenIWasTired

The world needs more sleep. B needs more sleep, but I think she is up now. She’ll have to watch me do a photoshoot I think (not sure) and I hope she has a long second nap instead. 🤞

Second nap update: Well let’s see how she sleeps. I had B on the floor and wasn’t sure whether to have her in the shoot or not, but she kept rolling into view. I had gone to get my light as B was awake anyways and it was a fun shoot where B made it better, even though I had to keep stopping her from trying to destroy my paper. So, I’m glad she woke up, but I hope she sleeps well now.

(I don’t like that B’s leg is out of the frame a bit, but I liked this photo from the shoot the most.)


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I Need To Just Focus On What I Have And Make The Best Of Things (8th December 2020)

Me with my head down on a table.
I Need To Just Focus On What I Have And Make The Best Of Things (8th December 2020)
 
#WellYesterdayStartedFineAndNormal
#BWokeUpEarlyButItWasManageable
#TiagoFedHerWhileIStretchedThenWePlayed
#PutHerDownForANapAfterTwoHoursAndIThoughtIWouldSleepToo
#SheSleptForAbout30MinutesAndIJustWokeUpFeelingBroken
#IFedHerSomeCauliflowerForTheFirstTimeWhichDidNotGoThatWell
#AndThenICouldNotStopCrying
#IWentToBedToCallTheNumberThatTheHealthVisitorHadGivenMe
#TheCallWasSoFrustratingAsTheLineWasNotGreatAndWeHadToKeepCallingEachOtherBack
#EventuallyTheyHadAllTheInformationWhichIProbablyCouldHaveJustFilledOutOnline
#IAmWaitingToHearBackAboutAnInitialConsultation
#TiagoBookedTheMorningOffWorkWhichMadeMeFeelBad
#ITookPicturesOfMeCryingButIDoNoWantToSharePicturesLikeThatAnymore
#ItFeelsLikeTooMuchAndLikeIAmAttentionSeeking
#SharingThisFeelsLikeIAmTooButIDoHopeThatBySharingThingsThatItMightInspireSomeoneElseToAskForHelp
#IDoNotWantTimeAwayFromBButIJustWorryThatIAmNotGivingHerEnough
#WeWentToAClassYesterdayAndItIsGoodToPassSomeTime
#ButItAlsoFeelsLikeGoingToHighSchoolAllOverAgain
#MumsUsuallyAlreadyHaveTheirLittleGroupsAndIJustFeelAwkward
#ISpokeToSomeoneAndSheSaidHeIsReallyCuteAboutB
#IFeltAwkwardCorrectingHerAndIThinkSheThenFeltAwkwardThoughIReallyDoNotMind
#SheIsUsuallyDressedInBlueSoIKindOfExpectPeopleToAutomaticallyCallHerABoy
#IUsuallySayHowOldIsYourLittleOneOrSomethingLikeThatToAvoidPossibleAwkwardness
#IThinkIAmNotTalkingToBEnough
#AtAClassTheOtherWeekINoticedThatOtherPeopleWereTalkingALotMoreToTheirBabies
#IThinkIMadeAGoodStartOnItThisMorningButItIsHardToHaveALotOfEnergyAllDayLong
#IJustNeedToKeepGoingOutAndHopefullySoonPeopleWillStartToRecogniseUsAndChatMore
#IGuessInAnIdealWorldWeWouldHaveMorePeopleToHangOutWithDuringTheWeekToHelpTheDaysGoByInAMoreFunWay
#ItWillProbablyHappenButNowIsNotTheBestTimeOfTheYearAndALotOfTheClassesAreVeryStopStart
#INeedToJustFocusOnWhatIHaveAndMakeTheBestOfThings

I’ve wrote these hashtags out so many times in my bed in the last 24 hours, and I think they could have been a lot better. Oh well. I’m writing this on 8th December.

Suddenly felt the need to listen to Shiny Happy People by R.E.M.

The song is about something darker, which is what I thought when it came into my head.

Anyways…

#WellYesterdayStartedFineAndNormal #BWokeUpEarlyButItWasManageable #TiagoFedHerWhileIStretchedThenWePlayed #PutHerDownForANapAfterTwoHoursAndIThoughtIWouldSleepToo #SheSleptForAbout30MinutesAndIJustWokeUpFeelingBroken

I was really looking forward to sleeping, but it does seem like an overreaction.

#IFedHerSomeCauliflowerForTheFirstTimeWhichDidNotGoThatWell #AndThenICouldNotStopCrying #IWentToBedToCallTheNumberThatTheHealthVisitorHadGivenMe #TheCallWasSoFrustratingAsTheLineWasNotGreatAndWeHadToKeepCallingEachOtherBack #EventuallyTheyHadAllTheInformationWhichIProbablyCouldHaveJustFilledOutOnline #IAmWaitingToHearBackAboutAnInitialConsultation

I had been thinking about calling for a few days, but the line was always closed when I felt like I should call.

#TiagoBookedTheMorningOffWorkWhichMadeMeFeelBad

I just felt awful that he felt the need to do it. It made me feel like I was really failing.

(This is not a criticism of him, it’s just how I felt.)

#ITookPicturesOfMeCryingButIDoNoWantToSharePicturesLikeThatAnymore #ItFeelsLikeTooMuchAndLikeIAmAttentionSeeking #SharingThisFeelsLikeIAmTooButIDoHopeThatBySharingThingsThatItMightInspireSomeoneElseToAskForHelp

This project is supposed to honest. It’s awkward at times, but I know I’m not the only new-ish Mum who feels like this.

#IDoNotWantTimeAwayFromBButIJustWorryThatIAmNotGivingHerEnough

I keep saying that I’d love a week off, but I do not want that time away from her. I know I will not get a week off and it will not fix everything anyways. I’ve been mothering for nearly 6 months now; I knew it would be intense but living it is completely different.

#WeWentToAClassYesterdayAndItIsGoodToPassSomeTime #ButItAlsoFeelsLikeGoingToHighSchoolAllOverAgain #MumsUsuallyAlreadyHaveTheirLittleGroupsAndIJustFeelAwkward #ISpokeToSomeoneAndSheSaidHeIsReallyCuteAboutB #IFeltAwkwardCorrectingHerAndIThinkSheThenFeltAwkwardThoughIReallyDoNotMind #SheIsUsuallyDressedInBlueSoIKindOfExpectPeopleToAutomaticallyCallHerABoy #IUsuallySayHowOldIsYourLittleOneOrSomethingLikeThatToAvoidPossibleAwkwardness

Oh classes. I love to pass the time and know that B is getting a lot of stimulation. It has brought a whole new set of concerns though – especially yesterday when she was due to have a nap when the class started. She slept to and from class and I’ve just had to let go of things. It is good for me.

But yeah, just feeling like the awkward new kid is no fun.

#IThinkIAmNotTalkingToBEnough #AtAClassTheOtherWeekINoticedThatOtherPeopleWereTalkingALotMoreToTheirBabies

Sometimes it is negative to compare yourself to other Mums, but this was something that was a positive recognition – what can I be doing better at? Often I will just daydream when playing with B and go into myself a bit too much.

#IThinkIMadeAGoodStartOnItThisMorningButItIsHardToHaveALotOfEnergyAllDayLong

I watched these videos last night, which have inspired me.

#IJustNeedToKeepGoingOutAndHopefullySoonPeopleWillStartToRecogniseUsAndChatMore #IGuessInAnIdealWorldWeWouldHaveMorePeopleToHangOutWithDuringTheWeekToHelpTheDaysGoByInAMoreFunWay

I seem to be a bit obsessed with wanting to talk to people. I don’t know if I really even want to – it just seems like a way to pass time. I just want the best for B, and for her to get enough stimulation everyday and to be happy. I’m sure she’s fine and I need to stop worrying so much.

#ItWillProbablyHappenButNowIsNotTheBestTimeOfTheYearAndALotOfTheClassesAreVeryStopStart #INeedToJustFocusOnWhatIHaveAndMakeTheBestOfThings

It’s such a weird time. Mothering is the most intense thing I have ever done in my life. It’s good that we see my Mum and she looks after B for a bit while I cook and do whatever.

Weaning is stressing me out. It’s just full on. Before all we had to do was give her milk – now I’m having to meal prep more and things. Soon it will feel normal, but at the moment it just feels like a lot.

I don’t think this was a great post. I was just trying to write hashtags and this post while B was asleep. I need to think about the photos now. I think with pictures of me crying at least it’s an easy thing to do and share, but I want to try to do something more creative/me.

(23rd December:)Well, there’s a picture of me with my head on a table. I guess it sums up how I felt, but I did do others that were less dramatic. I couldn’t decide between a few, but Tiago said he liked this one best. Sometimes when T says a photo is his favourite it makes me realise that I don’t like the picture, but in this case I went with it.


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Imitating B By Putting Baby Rice On My Face (28th November 2020)

Self-portrait with baby rice around my mouth
Imitating B By Putting Baby Rice On My Face (28th November 2020)
 
#WellInMyLastDiaryEntryISaidWeWereGoingToStartWeaningBSoon
#InTheEndIGaveBSomeBabyRiceTheSameDay
#SheWasABitUnsureAtFirstButThenSheAteItAllUpSoIGaveHerAnotherMealOfItTheSameDay
#IMixedItWithHerUsualMilkThenGaveHerTheRestOfTheBottleAfter
#WeDidTwoDaysOfThatThenITriedGivingHerSomePotato
#SheChokedWhichPutMeOffSoSheHadSomeBabyRiceAtDinner
#YesterdayITriedAgainAndItWasABitMoreSuccessful
#IThinkTodayIWillTryCarrot
#ThisPictureIsImitatingTheMessThatBGetsHerselfInto
#WeGotAnElectricChopperWhichWillHopefullyBlendHerFoodBetterNowAndSpeedUpCookingOurMeals
#IHaveGivenUpWithBreastfeedingAsDidNotWantToForThreeDaysAndAfterThatIStoppedTrying
#IWasFeelingMorePositiveAboutThingsButIThinkByTheEndOfTheWeekIStartToFeelSoTired
#AndTwoNightsAgoBWasWakingUpConstantlySoYesterdayIWasStrugglingABit
#AlsoSomeoneHadMentionedThatWearingBabiesSoTheyFaceForwardIsNotGoodForThem
#SoIFeelABitTornAsIWasReallyEnjoyingDoingThat
#YesterdayICarriedHerFacingMeAndSheFellAsleepWithin5Minutes
#SoIEndedUpJustWearingHerForAnHourWhileSheHadANap
#TypicallySheSometimesDoesNotNapForVeryLongAndItWasNotEvenHerNaptime
#ITriedToTakeAPhotoInTheKitchenOfMeAwkwardlyEatingMyLunchButTheyWereSoOutOfFocusAsItWasJustOnMyPhone
#MyBackIsReallyHurtingMeThoughNowSoIMightJustAlternateThings
#ForTheNextCoupleOfDaysIWillJustTakeHerOutInHerPushchairAndHopefullyItWillBeJustAsMuchFun
#IHaveLikedTheInteractionsThatWeHaveHadWithPeopleLatelySoMaybeIJustNeedToBeBetterAtEyeContactWhenSheIsInThePushchair
#UsuallyIJustLookDownAtTheWheelsAndPretendToJustCheckThatWeAreNotGoingOnTheGrass
#ItDoesNotMatterIfItGetsDirtyReallyButItIsALotEasierToJustWalkAcrossTheGrassAwayFromPeopleWhenCarryingHer
#ThePushchairIsJustABitBigAndAnnoyingAtTimesSoIFeelMoreFreeWithTheCarrier
#SoIThinkIWillCarryHerFacingOutOccasionally
#SheSeemsToEnjoyItAndOurWalksAreGenerallyShorterNowAsITendToGoOutTwiceADayInstead
#BeforeWhenIWasPushingHerToSleepIWouldWalkSoFarWhichWouldTireMeOut
#NowIWantHerToEnjoyHerAwakeTimeAndIDoNotPushHerSoFar
#IHaveMyWorkshopTomorrowWhichIAmNervousAboutButIThinkItWillBeOkay

(I wrote this on 28th November.)

#WellInMyLastDiaryEntryISaidWeWereGoingToStartWeaningBSoon

Oh, I actually said ‘#IAlsoMightGiveHerSomeBabyRiceTodayButIFeelLikeISayThatEveryday’

#InTheEndIGaveBSomeBabyRiceTheSameDay

So I actually did do it. I was feeling stressed about it, but suddenly I felt like that day was the day.

#SheWasABitUnsureAtFirstButThenSheAteItAllUpSoIGaveHerAnotherMealOfItTheSameDay

I thought she was going to spit it out, but she was quite enthusiastic. I was surprised. I thought she would not eat any of it.

There was a lot of it on her face though – hence the photo.

#IMixedItWithHerUsualMilkThenGaveHerTheRestOfTheBottleAfter

I thought she would not drink all of her milk, but she did.

#WeDidTwoDaysOfThatThenITriedGivingHerSomePotato #SheChokedWhichPutMeOffSoSheHadSomeBabyRiceAtDinner

It was a bit scary, so we built up our confidence again with the baby rice.

#YesterdayITriedAgainAndItWasABitMoreSuccessful

She still did not seem too impressed though. The lumps were worrying me though I did mash it up a lot.

#IThinkTodayIWillTryCarrot

I am typing this now in the kitchen while I am boiling some carrot. B is having a nap. This seems like a good time to do some cooking. The other day when I was boiling the potatoes I was also making a meal for the day.

(Carrot seems more successful than potato.)

#ThisPictureIsImitatingTheMessThatBGetsHerselfInto

There are some of me with it coming out of my mouth. I don’t know which one I will choose yet. Sorry if it is a disgusting choice…

(13th December: Well, I went for a more ‘classic’ option.)

#WeGotAnElectricChopperWhichWillHopefullyBlendHerFoodBetterNowAndSpeedUpCookingOurMeals

I am going to puree some carrot, but also have some bigger slices for her to try in the baby led weaning style.

Being vegetarian I feel like most of cooking is just chopping veg, so hopefully it will be good.

#IHaveGivenUpWithBreastfeedingAsDidNotWantToForThreeDaysAndAfterThatIStoppedTrying

I am sad about it. Maybe it is not too late… Maybe I should try? They’ve just been out of action for at least 5 days now, so I feel like the time has passed. I have gone back to wearing non-maternity bras now, which feels a bit weird.

My Mum said I wouldn’t be breastfed after 4 months…

(After I finished this B woke up and I felt compelled to try breastfeeding her. Some milk did actually come out, and though I had to keep swapping B over from side to side I think she did get something. Afterwards I winded her and she burped quite loudly, but it could have been left over from earlier? I think I might try to see if I can get my production up.)

#IWasFeelingMorePositiveAboutThingsButIThinkByTheEndOfTheWeekIStartToFeelSoTired

By Friday I am just knackered.

#AndTwoNightsAgoBWasWakingUpConstantlySoYesterdayIWasStrugglingABit

It was a long night. Last night she slept better but typically my brain was so awake at 2am after she woke up that I did not sleep for at least an hour.

#AlsoSomeoneHadMentionedThatWearingBabiesSoTheyFaceForwardIsNotGoodForThem #SoIFeelABitTornAsIWasReallyEnjoyingDoingThat

I read an article about it, but it seemed to be about babies that are a lot younger. It said that it overstimulates them, but one of the reasons why I like her to face out is so that she can see everything, and for a change of scenery during playtimes.

#YesterdayICarriedHerFacingMeAndSheFellAsleepWithin5Minutes

I realised that we were going out half an hour from naptime, so I thought we’d be quick.

I kept trying to keep her awake, but she fell asleep after 5 minutes.

#SoIEndedUpJustWearingHerForAnHourWhileSheHadANap

I could not be bothered to keep walking around with her, so I just came home.

#TypicallySheSometimesDoesNotNapForVeryLongAndItWasNotEvenHerNaptime

I was hoping it would be a 30 minute nap at the most, but her previous one had only been 30 minutes.

#ITriedToTakeAPhotoInTheKitchenOfMeAwkwardlyEatingMyLunchButTheyWereSoOutOfFocusAsItWasJustOnMyPhone

I got Tiago to put some food in the pan for me to reheat so the noise wouldn’t wake her up. I just watched Taskmaster on my phone, while awkwardly navigating my food over her head.

#MyBackIsReallyHurtingMeThoughNowSoIMightJustAlternateThings

I stretch quite a lot, so I do wonder how people who don’t stretch cope.

#ForTheNextCoupleOfDaysIWillJustTakeHerOutInHerPushchairAndHopefullyItWillBeJustAsMuchFun

I need to get a rain cover for the carrier, so at least her pushchair has one. It is a wet day today.

#IHaveLikedTheInteractionsThatWeHaveHadWithPeopleLatelySoMaybeIJustNeedToBeBetterAtEyeContactWhenSheIsInThePushchair

I usually have the hood of her pushchair pulled over her, so I can’t really see her and she is usually asleep so of course people will not interact with her. I just need to talk to her more in the pushchair. It doesn’t face me, so hopefully she can just enjoy the world and I can stop more to talk to her and point things out.

#UsuallyIJustLookDownAtTheWheelsAndPretendToJustCheckThatWeAreNotGoingOnTheGrass

Well, I don’t know if I am pretending but it is a thing I do to avoid eye contact.

#ItDoesNotMatterIfItGetsDirtyReallyButItIsALotEasierToJustWalkAcrossTheGrassAwayFromPeopleWhenCarryingHer #ThePushchairIsJustABitBigAndAnnoyingAtTimesSoIFeelMoreFreeWithTheCarrier

It could be worse, but some paths are quite narrow so you have to move. Some people barely leave any space as they go past, whereas others will awkwardly leave what feels like a bit too much space.

#SoIThinkIWillCarryHerFacingOutOccasionally

I’ve spoke to other people about it and they don’t think there is an issue.

#SheSeemsToEnjoyItAndOurWalksAreGenerallyShorterNowAsITendToGoOutTwiceADayInstead #BeforeWhenIWasPushingHerToSleepIWouldWalkSoFarWhichWouldTireMeOut #NowIWantHerToEnjoyHerAwakeTimeAndIDoNotPushHerSoFar

The walks are a lot more pleasant now.

#IHaveMyWorkshopTomorrowWhichIAmNervousAboutButIThinkItWillBeOkay

Fingers crossed.


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Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Imitating B Trying To Eat Her Toes (24th November 2020)

Imitating B Trying To Eat Her Toes (24th November 2020)
 
#ThisShootWasMeJustImitatingBWhenSheDoesTheHappyBabyYogaPoseAndWhenSheTriesToPutHerToesInHerMouth
#ICanSeeHowThePoseGotTheNameNow
#SheHasBeenDoingThisForAWhileButMyPlanOfCopyingHerHasBeenNeglectedForAWhile
#YesterdayITookHerOutForTwoWalksDuringHerAwakeTimes
#HerWakeWindowsAreUsuallyBetweenTwoAndTwoAndAHalfHoursNow
#ThatIsALongTimeToEntertainHer4TimesADay
#SoItMakesSenseToTakeHerOutDuringHerPlaytimesRatherThanNaptimes
#IPutHerForwardFacingInHerCarrierForTheFirstTime
#SheIsOldEnoughNowAndIFiguredItMightBeBetterForLettingHerSeeThings
#FirstITookHerOutInTheMorningAndALotOfPeopleSaidGoodMorningToUsWhichWasReallyNice
#SheJustSeemedToCheerSomePeopleUpAndWeStoppedToTalkToAYoungGirlAndHerFamilyWhoHadPointedAtHer
#IWalkedForABitTooLongAndBFellAsleep
#NextITookHerOutInTheAfternoonButWeDidNotMakeItSoFar
#ThereWereALotOfSchoolKidsAroundWhichFreaksMeOutALittleBitSoNextTimeWeNeedToBeEarlier
#IHadPutSomeLittleBootsOnHerFeet
#ButAfterGettingHomeTheSecondTimeICouldNotFindOneOfThem
#IWaitedForTiagoToFinishAWorkCallSoHeCouldWatchB
#ThenIRetracedOurStepsAndFoundItNotSoFarAwayOnAPath
#SoINeedToBeCarefulAboutTheAmountOfTimeAndKeepAnEyeOnHerBoots
#TheWeatherWasReallyNiceYesterdayButPuttingHerInTheCarrierMightNotBeAGreatPlanForEveryday
#SheHasBeenWakingUpALotAtNightLatelyWhichIsMakingTAndIABitGrumpy
#LastWeekSheWasStillBreastfeedingTwoOrThreeTimesADay
#ButNowSheReallyDoesNotWantToBreastfeedWhichIsABitOfAShame
#IThinkItProbablyHasALotToDoWithHerTeething
#ThoughSometimesIAmTryingToGetHerToLatchOnAndSheJustTipsHerHeadBackAndLooksLonginglyAtAnEmptyBottleThatIForgotToMove
#MyMumSaysThatSheWantedToBreastfeedMySistersAndIForLongerButWeStoppedBeingInterestedAround4Months
#TodayIMightJustTryFormulaFeedingHerForEveryFeedAndSeeIfThatHelpsWithHerSleep
#IAlsoMightGiveHerSomeBabyRiceTodayButIFeelLikeISayThatEveryday
#IAmCurrentlySpendingALotOfMyFreeTimePlanningForAHashtagWorkshop
#IAmNervousAboutItButIHopeThatItGoesWellAndThatPeopleEnjoyIt

(I wrote this on 24th November.)

#ThisShootWasMeJustImitatingBWhenSheDoesTheHappyBabyYogaPoseAndWhenSheTriesToPutHerToesInHerMouth

Classic B.

#ICanSeeHowThePoseGotTheNameNow

I could kind of see how it did before, but having a baby has made it very clear.

#SheHasBeenDoingThisForAWhileButMyPlanOfCopyingHerHasBeenNeglectedForAWhile

I have a list of shoot ideas, but actually this idea is not as old as I thought – I added it on 22nd October.

#YesterdayITookHerOutForTwoWalksDuringHerAwakeTimes #HerWakeWindowsAreUsuallyBetweenTwoAndTwoAndAHalfHoursNow #ThatIsALongTimeToEntertainHer4TimesADay #SoItMakesSenseToTakeHerOutDuringHerPlaytimesRatherThanNaptimes

Well, I know that during her awake times I am feeding her, changing her and other things, but still it leaves a lot of play time.

#IPutHerForwardFacingInHerCarrierForTheFirstTime

The day before Tiago had taken her out facing him.

#SheIsOldEnoughNowAndIFiguredItMightBeBetterForLettingHerSeeThings

Just another one of those things that seems scary to do, but once you do it it seems easy. I’ll just have to see if I can higher her up anymore.

#FirstITookHerOutInTheMorningAndALotOfPeopleSaidGoodMorningToUsWhichWasReallyNice

At one point I think I was having a competition with myself to see how many I could get to say good morning to me or back to me.

#SheJustSeemedToCheerSomePeopleUpAndWeStoppedToTalkToAYoungGirlAndHerFamilyWhoHadPointedAtHer

With her being on me it’s a lot easier to move out of the way of people too if paths are too narrow.

#IWalkedForABitTooLongAndBFellAsleep

So when I got home and wanted her to have a nap, she took longer to fall asleep than usual.

#NextITookHerOutInTheAfternoonButWeDidNotMakeItSoFar #ThereWereALotOfSchoolKidsAroundWhichFreaksMeOutALittleBitSoNextTimeWeNeedToBeEarlier

It just gets a bit busy when all the kids are walking home from school and they seem to hang around more than I thought they would. I think they all get let out at different times too so when one lot seems to clear, a new lot soon appears.

#IHadPutSomeLittleBootsOnHerFeet #ButAfterGettingHomeTheSecondTimeICouldNotFindOneOfThem

Classic me. I thought it must have just fallen off when I lifted her out of her carrier, but I couldn’t see it.

#IWaitedForTiagoToFinishAWorkCallSoHeCouldWatchB #ThenIRetracedOurStepsAndFoundItNotSoFarAwayOnAPath

I was so proud of myself for finding it. I was worried as I had walked across a big patch of grass, which would have made it easier to find, but it had probably dropped just before I went onto it.

#SoINeedToBeCarefulAboutTheAmountOfTimeAndKeepAnEyeOnHerBoots

Shorter walks. Check boots. Got it.

#TheWeatherWasReallyNiceYesterdayButPuttingHerInTheCarrierMightNotBeAGreatPlanForEveryday

I need to get a rain cover for it…

#SheHasBeenWakingUpALotAtNightLatelyWhichIsMakingTAndIABitGrumpy

When she woke up for the last time at 6.30am it felt like it was 3am and I was like erghhhh.

#LastWeekSheWasStillBreastfeedingTwoOrThreeTimesADay

Great.

#ButNowSheReallyDoesNotWantToBreastfeedWhichIsABitOfAShame

I am a bit saddened by it.

#IThinkItProbablyHasALotToDoWithHerTeething

Yeah, it can’t be too comfortable at the moment. She has been teething for about a month, which doesn’t help.

#ThoughSometimesIAmTryingToGetHerToLatchOnAndSheJustTipsHerHeadBackAndLooksLonginglyAtAnEmptyBottleThatIForgotToMove

It’s probably nicer to teethe on.

#MyMumSaysThatSheWantedToBreastfeedMySistersAndIForLongerButWeStoppedBeingInterestedAround4Months

Maybe she’s more like me than she looks… (She looks more like Tiago.)

#TodayIMightJustTryFormulaFeedingHerForEveryFeedAndSeeIfThatHelpsWithHerSleep #IAlsoMightGiveHerSomeBabyRiceTodayButIFeelLikeISayThatEveryday

Between writing the hashtags and writing this blog post I did give her some. It went well. If I remember I’ll probably talk about it in my next blog post.

#IAmCurrentlySpendingALotOfMyFreeTimePlanningForAHashtagWorkshop #IAmNervousAboutItButIHopeThatItGoesWellAndThatPeopleEnjoyIt

Luckily I did a university lecture last week, so I am feeling a little less awkward about it. I really hope that people enjoy it.

I was going to post a link to the workshop, but by the time I post this it will have already happened. Wishing myself luck from the past and future…


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Fourth Family Portrait (21st November 2020)

Family portrait - Tiago and B sat on an exercise ball with me holding onto both of them. B's face is covered by a pasted section of her feet.
Fourth Family Portrait (21st November 2020)
 
#HurrahWeFinallyManagedToDoAnotherFamilyPortraitShoot
#ThisPhotoCouldHaveBeenTakenInLiverpoolAsItIsJustUsAgainstAPlainWall
#TiagoInstinctivelySatWithBOnTheExerciseBallSoIThoughtIWouldJustInsertMyselfIntoThePicture
#IFoundTheBallWhileUnpackingAndThoughtIWouldInflateIt
#IPumpedItUpInTheHallwayThoughAndItWasTooBigToGetThroughTheDoorway
#SoIHadToLetSomeAirOutAndAmYetToFullyInflateItAgain
#BHasQuiteEasilyTransitionedTo3NapsADayInsteadOf4ThisWeek
#ThoughSheIsNotSleepingThroughTheNightAtTheMoment
#WhichMayBeDueToTheTransitionOrTeethingOrFeedingOrAnythingAndEverythingIGuess
#YesterdayIThoughtThatBWasImitatingGivingMeAKissOnTheCheek
#ButIThinkSheWasActuallyJustTryingToTeethOnMe
#WeHaveSomeBabyRiceToGiveHerWhichIPlannedToStartHerWithThisWeekend
#TiagoWasWatchingATVShowAboutKidsAndFussyEatingTheOtherDay
#WeWantHerToHavePositiveExperiencesAroundFoodSoIThinkWeWillStartWeaningWhenWeAreLessStressed
#MovingIntoSomeoneElsesHouseHasBeenABitOfAShock
#BWantedToDrinkFromMyWaterBottleTheOtherDaySoSheHasACupWithWaterInItNow
#IThinkSheWasHopingThatItWouldBeFullOfMilkThoughSoSheSeemsDisappointed
#WithBHavingOneLessNapADayMyTimeForMyselfHasBeenReduced
#IShouldStartTakingHerForWalksDuringHerAwakeTimeAndJustTalkToHerAboutWhatWeSeeOutside
#ThenICanUseHerNapTimesToDoChoresAndABitOfWork
#ItSeemsToRainDuringMostOfHerWalksAtTheMomentButIStillGoOutAnyways
#TheOtherDayIReallyNeededANapButISpentBsNapTimeLookingForPlayAndStayGroups
#TheyAllSeemToBeClosedUntilNextYear
#BOnlyHadAShortNapSoIFeltMoreTiredAndABitDeflated
#IDoFeelABitMorePositiveInSomeWaysThough
#IJustNeedToGetBackToDoingToDoListsAndTryToPlanMyDaysBetter
#MySpaceToWorkInIsNotPerfectAsTheCeilingIsNotThatHighAndItSlopesInPlaces
#ButItWillDoAndIJustNeedToMoveThingsAroundMore
#HopefullyIWillSeeACoupleOfFriendsIndividuallyForWalksThisWeek
#AndIAmYetToMakeDanceVideosHereSoHopefullyIWillTomorrow

Hello, it’s 21st November. I’m going to quickly try to write this blog post while T and B are having a nap…

#HurrahWeFinallyManagedToDoAnotherFamilyPortraitShoot

I did plan to do it last weekend, but it never happened.

I got a bit stressed today thinking it would not happen again, but we did it, and Tiago said it was nice to just take pictures and not think about much else.

#ThisPhotoCouldHaveBeenTakenInLiverpoolAsItIsJustUsAgainstAPlainWall

Classic.

(Though in Liverpool often the pictures were quite blue due to the UV covering we had on the windows – now they seem quite red.)

#TiagoInstinctivelySatWithBOnTheExerciseBallSoIThoughtIWouldJustInsertMyselfIntoThePicture

They were lying on the bed originally, but the light was fading so I thought we should stand against the wall in my ‘studio’. This seemed nicer though.

#IFoundTheBallWhileUnpackingAndThoughtIWouldInflateIt #IPumpedItUpInTheHallwayThoughAndItWasTooBigToGetThroughTheDoorway #SoIHadToLetSomeAirOutAndAmYetToFullyInflateItAgain

An exciting story.

#BHasQuiteEasilyTransitionedTo3NapsADayInsteadOf4ThisWeek

Well her naps have been all over the place. The app I use to keep track of things thinks she is still on 5 naps a day, but I was confused the other day as I do not remember dropping it to 4. I guess it just happened though when I moved her to the 1 hour 30, 1.45 x 2, 2 x 2 (wake window) schedule.

Now it is more 2 hours, then 3 x 2.5ish.

#ThoughSheIsNotSleepingThroughTheNightAtTheMoment #WhichMayBeDueToTheTransitionOrTeethingOrFeedingOrAnythingAndEverythingIGuess

It’s hard to tell why…

#YesterdayIThoughtThatBWasImitatingGivingMeAKissOnTheCheek

I say imitating as she was not actually giving me a kiss – more just putting her face against mine with her mouth open.

#ButIThinkSheWasActuallyJustTryingToTeethOnMe

Lovely.

#WeHaveSomeBabyRiceToGiveHerWhichIPlannedToStartHerWithThisWeekend #TiagoWasWatchingATVShowAboutKidsAndFussyEatingTheOtherDay #WeWantHerToHavePositiveExperiencesAroundFoodSoIThinkWeWillStartWeaningWhenWeAreLessStressed

I said we were going to start at 6 months, but I think it would not hurt to try a bit earlier. However, I think we need to be completely relaxed when we do otherwise I think it will not be such a great experience for B. Perhaps next weekend?

#MovingIntoSomeoneElsesHouseHasBeenABitOfAShock

I feel like I should not talk about certain things, so I’ll leave it at that.

(4th December – Things are fine now.)

#BWantedToDrinkFromMyWaterBottleTheOtherDaySoSheHasACupWithWaterInItNow

I usually drink from a water bottle instead of a glass as I get worried that it will get knocked over, so B was trying to grab it with her mouth wide open. I went to give her some, but I thought that maybe it wasn’t that safe. So now she has a sippy cup.

#IThinkSheWasHopingThatItWouldBeFullOfMilkThoughSoSheSeemsDisappointed

I think she is actually just teething on it more than anything else.

#WithBHavingOneLessNapADayMyTimeForMyselfHasBeenReduced #IShouldStartTakingHerForWalksDuringHerAwakeTimeAndJustTalkToHerAboutWhatWeSeeOutside

I imagine us sitting on a bench with her staring up at the trees. Maybe then some people might talk to us? I sound desperate to talk to people… My sister is sending her a pram suit, so once we get that then maybe I can try her on the local swings too.

#ThenICanUseHerNapTimesToDoChoresAndABitOfWork

Fingers crossed.

#ItSeemsToRainDuringMostOfHerWalksAtTheMomentButIStillGoOutAnyways

I guess now isn’t the time to be sitting on benches and discovering playgrounds, but we can try. There are always some nicer days…

#TheOtherDayIReallyNeededANapButISpentBsNapTimeLookingForPlayAndStayGroups

I just lay in bed intending to have a nap, but felt like I needed to find a group. At the moment I like the idea of classes or a group, but I like the idea of going somewhere and just talking and chilling a bit.

#TheyAllSeemToBeClosedUntilNextYear

Great.

#BOnlyHadAShortNapSoIFeltMoreTiredAndABitDeflated

I was hoping she would sleep for an hour, but she had half an hour.

#IDoFeelABitMorePositiveInSomeWaysThough

I think I just realise how lucky we are, so I shouldn’t be so darn negative all the time. It’s boring to whine so much.

#IJustNeedToGetBackToDoingToDoListsAndTryToPlanMyDaysBetter

I used to write to do lists, but I haven’t lately. Now that I have a desk to work at and I’ve found a notepad and pen I guess it is easier to start again.

#MySpaceToWorkInIsNotPerfectAsTheCeilingIsNotThatHighAndItSlopesInPlaces #ButItWillDoAndIJustNeedToMoveThingsAroundMore

It is more than I thought I would have really, so that is good. My one concern about moving was where would I make work.

#HopefullyIWillSeeACoupleOfFriendsIndividuallyForWalksThisWeek

That would be nice. I’ve only seen family since moving, which is lovely of course, but it’ll be great to see other people too.

#AndIAmYetToMakeDanceVideosHereSoHopefullyIWillTomorrow

Fingers crossed. Hopefully I will be inserting a video below of new ones…

(4th December – I’ve managed to make 5 videos over 2 sessions so far. That’s better than nothing!

Here’s one…

)


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