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Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Failing To Imitate The Cute Thing That B Does With Her Mouth (6th September 2020)

Me with my lips in a funny shape, trying to imitate my daughter
Failing To Imitate The Cute Thing That B Does With Her Mouth (6th September 2020)
 
#IWasPlanningOnDoingThisShootTomorrow
#ButIWasGettingReadyForBedAndISuddenlyFeltAwake
#BIsAsleepOnTiagoSoIWasGoingToDoSomeStretchingButIDecidedToDoAShootInstead
#MaybeIWillTryToStretchABitAfter
#BDoesThisCuteThingWithHerMouthWhenSheCoos
#MyNanDescribesItAsPursingHerLips
#WhichIGuessItIsButICanNotSeemToImitateItWell
#ItEitherLooksLikeIAmTryingToBeSexyOrLikeIAmTryingToImitateAMonkey
#Awkward
#TodaySheWasDoingItWhilstLookingAtHerCalamariToy
#TMadeACuteVideoOfIt
#ThisWeekendBMetMySisterHerPartnerAndTheirSonForTheFirstTime
#AndItWasOurFirstTimeMeetingOurNephewSoThatWasNice
#IAmStillWorkingOnGettingBToHaveNapsEvery60To90MinutesDuringTheDay
#ItGoesFairlyWellUntilMidAfternoonAndThenOftenSheIsAwakeFor5Hours
#SoOurNewThingIsTakingHerOutForAWalkInHerPramIfWeStruggle
#ButOnceSheFallsAsleepIAmTooScaredToComeHomeTooEarlyInCaseSheWakesUpAsSoonAsIGetIn
#YesterdayIEndedUpGoingForAWalkAsItWasGettingDark
#ItWasFunnySeeingEveryoneOutInTheirFancyClothesReadyForANightOut
#AndIWasJustLookingAStatePushingAPushchairAbout
#ItReallyDoesNotSeemLikeThereIsAPandemicHalfTheTime
#IHaveBeenToACoupleOfShopsLately
#ToTheSupermarketAndToABakery
#PushingAPushchairAroundYouRealiseHowBadAccessIsAtSomePlaces
#OrHowFrustratingSomePathsAreToNavigate
#IDidNotGoIntoOneBakeryAsIDidNotThinkIWouldBeAbleToPushBsPushchairRoundTheOneWaySystemWithTheBarriers
#AtTheOneIWentIntoInTheEndIHadToTurnThePushchairOnItsSideABit
#INearlyDidNotBotherGoingInAsIDidNotWantToEmbarrassMyself
#AndThenOnTheWayOutTwoGuysMovedTheBarrierForUsABitToGetOutWithNoProblem
#PeopleInWheelchairsOrWithMobilityScootersMustGetSoAnnoyed

(I wrote this on 6th September.)

#IWasPlanningOnDoingThisShootTomorrow #ButIWasGettingReadyForBedAndISuddenlyFeltAwake #BIsAsleepOnTiagoSoIWasGoingToDoSomeStretchingButIDecidedToDoAShootInstead

This is often the case – me feeling really tired and hoping to go to bed soon. Usually though it’s more that B just takes ages to settle and I end up going to bed a lot later than planned.

I was going to work on my coding homework, but I already did some earlier and I’m still on schedule to complete it ahead of time – fingers crossed. I can plan to do a shoot tomorrow daytime, but knowing my luck B’s naps might be short and she might need me to rock her to sleep with my foot.

The other day she was in her bouncer and I was on my hands and knees scrubbing the floor, with one foot bouncing her bouncer.

#MaybeIWillTryToStretchABitAfter

Leaving this blank as I’m writing this straight after I’ve done the shoot and hashtags. Trying to give myself less work to do when I get round to publishing it…

(I did manage to stretch. Hurrah!)

#BDoesThisCuteThingWithHerMouthWhenSheCoos

I’ve talked about it before.

#MyNanDescribesItAsPursingHerLips

I feel like I haven’t heard that word used in that context for a very long time.

(I’ve since heard it a few times – funny how that happens.)

#WhichIGuessItIsButICanNotSeemToImitateItWell

Though after looking at the pictures maybe I am getting there, but I usually see her lying down on her back or at an angle so it looks different.

I think I need to show the pictures to Tiago and get him to advise me on how to do it. He should be watching the shoot and shouting directions next time.

(Though thinking about it – maybe it looks so different because I have teeth?)

#ItEitherLooksLikeIAmTryingToBeSexyOrLikeIAmTryingToImitateAMonkey #Awkward

B looks like she is doing neither (thank big G) when she does it.

#TodaySheWasDoingItWhilstLookingAtHerCalamariToy #TMadeACuteVideoOfIt

Adorable. I need to get so much storage just for all the phone pix and videos we make of her… She isn’t even 3 months old yet.

Like I said before it’s a shame that I’m not showing her face online as I just want to show the world how adorable she is. Instead everyone gets to see ugly pix of me trying to imitate her, and she looks more like Tiago!

#ThisWeekendBMetMySisterHerPartnerAndTheirSonForTheFirstTime #AndItWasOurFirstTimeMeetingOurNephewSoThatWasNice

It was really nice to see them. Our nephew is another lockdown baby.

#IAmStillWorkingOnGettingBToHaveNapsEvery60To90MinutesDuringTheDay #ItGoesFairlyWellUntilMidAfternoonAndThenOftenSheIsAwakeFor5Hours

It’s weird that the more they sleep in the day, the better they sleep at night. In the past I’ve been like ‘well at least if she doesn’t go to sleep well, she’ll sleep better during the night’. It was like that a little bit at times I think, but there have been a couple of bad nights lately and I don’t do well with bad nights. None of us do.

I don’t really know what her sleep cycles were like before to be honest. I can’t really remember. I just kind of let her sleep when she wanted to, but then she would get over tired. Once I figured out the pink eyebrows were a sign of needing to sleep, and then I read at her age she should be napping every 60-90 minutes that made me realise that things needed to change.

#SoOurNewThingIsTakingHerOutForAWalkInHerPramIfWeStruggle #ButOnceSheFallsAsleepIAmTooScaredToComeHomeTooEarlyInCaseSheWakesUpAsSoonAsIGetIn

At least it’s good exercise… It gets super cold in Liverpool in the winter though, so that will be interesting. When I got soaked whilst taking her out for a walk the other day B was all nice and snug and dry in her bassinet at least…

#YesterdayIEndedUpGoingForAWalkAsItWasGettingDark #ItWasFunnySeeingEveryoneOutInTheirFancyClothesReadyForANightOut #AndIWasJustLookingAStatePushingAPushchairAbout

I think a few people looked at me like I was a bit odd. Different lives. I was never really a going out kind of person, though perhaps I was more in London. I went to art openings more than anything else though in the evening. Who knows when I’ll be going to one of them again… (I’d take B with me, it’s more because of the pandemic.)

#ItReallyDoesNotSeemLikeThereIsAPandemicHalfTheTime

Tiago says he has noticed that the ‘electricity’ of the ‘old days’ is back on the streets a bit. It seemed really busy out and about that weekend, but then again we were out and about adding to the crowd…

(On the day of posting this a new lockdown has begun in Liverpool, so we’ll see how it feels now. I’m guessing it won’t change much, though I hope it does. We got told by email yesterday to wear masks when we go in and out of our building, for the first time.)

#IHaveBeenToACoupleOfShopsLately #ToTheSupermarketAndToABakery

Hopefully reading this in the future it will sound so boring, but it seems like newsworthy events at the moment because of how things are.

(I have been to a shop since, but I think I will stop it for now. It is too annoying to navigate places with the pushchair…)

#PushingAPushchairAroundYouRealiseHowBadAccessIsAtSomePlaces #OrHowFrustratingSomePathsAreToNavigate #IDidNotGoIntoOneBakeryAsIDidNotThinkIWouldBeAbleToPushBsPushchairRoundTheOneWaySystemWithTheBarriers #AtTheOneIWentIntoInTheEndIHadToTurnThePushchairOnItsSideABit #INearlyDidNotBotherGoingInAsIDidNotWantToEmbarrassMyself #AndThenOnTheWayOutTwoGuysMovedTheBarrierForUsABitToGetOutWithNoProblem #PeopleInWheelchairsOrWithMobilityScootersMustGetSoAnnoyed

I used to think about accessibility a bit before, but now I have a 4-wheeled thing to push around I definitely think about it a lot. I have to change the routes I walk now because of it. You realise how bumpy some surfaces are, steps that you never thought twice about before are a bit bothersome now, you notice how narrow paths are or how lopsided they are etc. You see places in an entirely new light…


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Oh Me, Oh Mãe

I Went To The Supermarket For The First Time Since Before Lockdown And Got Soaked (2nd September 2020)

Warning: I think this post and pictures are a bit boring. Sorry!

(I wrote this blog post on the 2nd and I’m just looking at it before posting it on the 17th. I was just thinking about how boring this is…)

I Went To The Supermarket For The First Time Since Before Lockdown And Got Soaked (2nd September 2020)
 
#ItWasRainingABitEarlierButIThoughtItWasJustDrizzlingAfterAWhileSoIDecidedToGoForAWalk
#IHaveBeenTryingToGoForAWalkBeforeTFinishesWorkSoICanDoABitOfMyCourseInTheEvening
#AndTIsNotBotheredAboutNotGoingOut
#OneMinuteIAmTellingMyselfOffForSigningUpForToLearnCodingAsIFeelIHaveEnoughOnMyPlateButTheNextMinuteIAmLovingChallengingMyselfAndItFeelsGreatWhenIGetThingsRight
#JustBeforeILeftIDecidedIShouldGoToTheSupermarket
#IHadNotBeenInOneSinceBeforeLockdown
#SometimesIGetBoredAsMyWalksAreABitAimlessSoItWasNiceToHaveAMission
#ILeftHomeAndItWasRainingALittleBitButItWasNotTooBad
#IWasGoingToGoForAWalkFirstThenGoShoppingBeforeICameHome
#FiveMinutesLaterItWasPouringDownSoIJustHeadedForTheShop
#IHadToStopBeforeIGotThereToPutMyMaskOnAsThereWasNowhereToShelterByTheShopToDoIt
#LuckilyItWasQuietInsideBecauseOfTheRain
#IWasAnxiousAboutPushingBAroundAsTheAislesAreQuiteSmall
#ItWasWeirdSeeingThePricesOfThingsAndSeeingProductsThatIHaveNotSeenInMonths
#TiagoHasBeenDoingOurShoppingForSoLongNow
#IAwkwardlyTookACoupleOfPhotosOfMyselfInTheShopToMarkThisMomentousOccasion
#AMemberOfStaffWalkedByAsIWasDoingItSoITriedToNotLookAsWeirdAsIDid
#IPrettyMuchBlockedTheWholeSelfServiceSectionWithThePushchair
#AndITriedToScanAndPackAsQuickAsPossible
#MyShoppingBagsWereSoakingWet
#ItWasABitOfAStressfulExperience
#IWentOutsideAndNoticedBHadLostHerDummy
#IPulledOverToSomeShelterButICouldNotFindItAndMyArmWasSoWetThatIDidNotWantToDigAroundForIt
#ITriedToWalkFastAndACarSplashedMeButIWasSoSoakedThatItDidNotMakeADifference
#ItWasGoodToTestBsPushchairsWaterproofCoverToTheLimit
#IWouldHaveDoneAFullLengthPhotoOfHowSoakedIWasButItWasTooCold
#TheOnlyThingThatDidNotGetWetAtAllWereMyBreastPads
#LuckilyBKeptSleepingSoICouldHaveAHotShower
#TSawHowWetIWasAndSaidSomethingAboutHowNiceItMustFeelToFeelTheRainOnMeOrSomething
#ILikeWalkingInTheRainButThisWasTooMuchSoNextTimeIWillBeMoreCareful
I Went To The Supermarket For The First Time Since Before Lockdown And Got Soaked (2nd September 2020) II  
I Went To The Supermarket For The First Time Since Before Lockdown And Got Soaked (2nd September 2020) III  

#ItWasRainingABitEarlierButIThoughtItWasJustDrizzlingAfterAWhileSoIDecidedToGoForAWalk

I heard the rain hitting the window earlier on, but I wanted to go out for B to have her next nap as she sleeps better with movement. Her previous naps had been in the bouncer. I couldn’t hear the rain so I assumed it was just spitting.

#IHaveBeenTryingToGoForAWalkBeforeTFinishesWorkSoICanDoABitOfMyCourseInTheEvening #AndTIsNotBotheredAboutNotGoingOut #OneMinuteIAmTellingMyselfOffForSigningUpForToLearnCodingAsIFeelIHaveEnoughOnMyPlateButTheNextMinuteIAmLovingChallengingMyselfAndItFeelsGreatWhenIGetThingsRight

We did not go for a walk the whole bank holiday weekend. As Tiago isn’t at work it’s good to catch up with things, so though we plan to go out often it doesn’t happen. Generally we say for most of the day that we will go out, but then it gets too late. We need to not do that again…

#JustBeforeILeftIDecidedIShouldGoToTheSupermarket #IHadNotBeenInOneSinceBeforeLockdown #SometimesIGetBoredAsMyWalksAreABitAimlessSoItWasNiceToHaveAMission

“Mission”. We needed some things and I thought if T went out then it would take up some of the evening. I had been thinking about going to the supermarket for a while, so it seemed like a good time to do it.

#ILeftHomeAndItWasRainingALittleBitButItWasNotTooBad #IWasGoingToGoForAWalkFirstThenGoShoppingBeforeICameHome

It wasn’t raining enough to feel like ‘I should turn around and wait until later’. Though maybe it was a little and I was committed? Once you’ve got your baby ready and you’re out the house, it’s a big thing to be like nah… later.

#FiveMinutesLaterItWasPouringDownSoIJustHeadedForTheShop

I was looking forward to the walk, but yeah it got too much too fast. I keep an umbrella on the handlebars, but it was too windy for it and it’s a bit of a faff pushing it and holding an umbrella. I’m not that skilled yet!

#IHadToStopBeforeIGotThereToPutMyMaskOnAsThereWasNowhereToShelterByTheShopToDoIt

And waiting for T outside there before I’ve got annoyed at seeing people put a mask on in the doorway, so I was not going to be that person. Though inside some people weren’t wearing masks…

#LuckilyItWasQuietInsideBecauseOfTheRain

I guess they limit the number of customers now, but there was more staff than customers.

#IWasAnxiousAboutPushingBAroundAsTheAislesAreQuiteSmall

I kept trying to ‘park’ out of the way whilst I checked my shopping list and messaged Tiago to say how soaked I was. Occasionally an aisle was too narrow, so I’d have to leave B and quickly go grab something.

#ItWasWeirdSeeingThePricesOfThingsAndSeeingProductsThatIHaveNotSeenInMonths #TiagoHasBeenDoingOurShoppingForSoLongNow

I look at the receipts occasionally, but it was weird seeing them for myself. I had forgotten about so many brands and things. It was odd…

#IAwkwardlyTookACoupleOfPhotosOfMyselfInTheShopToMarkThisMomentousOccasion #AMemberOfStaffWalkedByAsIWasDoingItSoITriedToNotLookAsWeirdAsIDid

“Momentous occasion”. Of course I had to… A full length would have been cool, but I’m too awkward for these things.

#IPrettyMuchBlockedTheWholeSelfServiceSectionWithThePushchair #AndITriedToScanAndPackAsQuickAsPossible #MyShoppingBagsWereSoakingWet #ItWasABitOfAStressfulExperience

I was hoping to just go to a cashier as I thought it would be quicker, but they weren’t open. I guess it is safer to not go to them, but I have always found the self service machines stressful if you have more than a few items.

The rain worked in my favour with the shop, but not with feeling physically good.

(I haven’t been back since and I don’t really plan to unless she is in a carrier as it was so stressful. I went to some clothes shops yesterday to get her some vests and even some of the aisles of baby clothes are too narrow for a pushchair.)

#IWentOutsideAndNoticedBHadLostHerDummy #IPulledOverToSomeShelterButICouldNotFindItAndMyArmWasSoWetThatIDidNotWantToDigAroundForIt

She had woken up and I usually give it back to her to help her go back to sleep. I wasn’t going to open up her waterproof cover, but I thought I should try to in case she started to cry later on and I would not be able to stop anywhere else that was so dry. In the end it was fine though and she drifted back off to sleep. Win.

#ITriedToWalkFastAndACarSplashedMeButIWasSoSoakedThatItDidNotMakeADifference

I went to swear at them, but then I noticed how deep the puddle was and I hadn’t really felt it. The splash looked quite big though, so they could have driven slower but they probably saw how wet I was anyways.

I felt a bit self-conscious about soaked I was, but other pedestrians looked the same.

#ItWasGoodToTestBsPushchairsWaterproofCoverToTheLimit

It did let a bit of rain in, but it did pretty well. We usually towel dry it as it is quicker, but the basket was soaking wet.

#IWouldHaveDoneAFullLengthPhotoOfHowSoakedIWasButItWasTooCold #TheOnlyThingThatDidNotGetWetAtAllWereMyBreastPads #LuckilyBKeptSleepingSoICouldHaveAHotShower

I did not want to drip all over my stuff and I did not know how long I had before B would wake up. A shower took preference. I’m sat in my comfy clothes now and I’d love a nap, but I need to feed B.

#TSawHowWetIWasAndSaidSomethingAboutHowNiceItMustFeelToFeelTheRainOnMeOrSomething #ILikeWalkingInTheRainButThisWasTooMuchSoNextTimeIWillBeMoreCareful

He saw me in my comfy clothes and said I should get into bed, but I said no I have to write my hashtags and then I wrote this blog post…

(The next day I realised that the rain had also ruined my sunglasses. They used to be blue tinted, but whatever makes them blue had started to come away as I had left them soaking wet in the organiser of the pushchair. Great. I’m going to have to see if I can completely remove that layer so I can salvage them and just have black sunglasses. Exciting stuff!)


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Oh Me, Oh Mãe

An Impression Of B Sucking Her Hands (31st August 2020)

Me doing an impression of B sucking her hand
An Impression Of B Sucking Her Hands (31st August 2020)
 
#IHadBeenMeaningToTakeAPictureOfThisForAFewDays
#BHasStartedToSuckHerHandsNow
#AndBecauseIDoNotWantHerFaceInThisProjectIThoughtIWouldPhotographMyselfDoingItInstead
#ItLooksABitLikeSheIsLickingAnIceCream
#IHopeItDoesNotLookTooDodgy
#WellIfItDoesThenThatIsYourDodgyMindNotMine
#ItWasOnMyShootListButIWasTryingToNotDoOneForACoupleOfDays
#IAmUpToDateWithMyBlogPostsInTermsOfHavingSomethingWrittenForEachOne
#ThenOnTheDayThatIPostIJustCheckOverThemAndAddInAnythingElse
#AndIStartedACodingCourseLastWeekSoIFeelLikeIHaveALotGoingOn
#SoItWasNiceToNotHaveToWriteAnyBlogPostsForACoupleOfDays
#ThenIHadAnImprintOfBsEarOnMyChest
#SoIWantedToPhotographThatWithMyQuoteProperKitUnquoteAsMostOfMyPicturesLatelyHaveBeenWithMyCrummyPhoneCamera
#ThoughIDidTryToTakeOneWithMyPhone
#AndAsEverythingWasSetUpAndBWasWithTiagoIThoughtIWouldTryOutThisIdea
#ItIsWhatItIs
#MeDoingAnImpressionOfBSuckingHerHand
#TiagoGotACoupleOfShelvingUnitsThatIHaveWantedSinceIStartedToNestAtTheBeginningOfLockdown
#SoHopefullyNowWeCanSoonHaveTheFlatMoreTidy
#ButThenTheNextThingWeNeedToWorryAboutIsBabyproofingEverything
#TheFunNeverEnds
#IFeelABitLonely
#IFeelLikeNonMumFriendsCanNotRelateToMeNowAndSomeAreKeepingTheirDistance
#AndThatIDoNotFitInWithNewMumFriendsAsIStartedToDoACourseAndTheyFeelLikeTheyDoNotHaveTimeToDoAnything
#INeedToBeProductiveAndRetainSomeOfMyOldIdentityAsOtherwiseItIsNotGoodForMyMentalHealth
#ILoveBToBitsAlreadyButSheCanNotProvideMeWithEverythingINeed
#AndTheGoodThingAboutMyProjectIsItIsToDoWithOurFamily
#ThoughWritingThingsLikeThisIsHardButIThinkSheWillUnderstandOneDay
#IAmStillWorkingOnABalanceButIGuessItIsAWorkInProgressFromWeekToWeek
#INeedToDoSomeStretchingBeforeSheWakesUpFromHerNapAsIHaveNotInAFewDaysAndIDoNotFeelThatGreatBecauseOfIt

(I wrote this blog post on the day I took the picture – any comments in brackets are comments from today.)

#IHadBeenMeaningToTakeAPictureOfThisForAFewDays
#BHasStartedToSuckHerHandsNow
#AndBecauseIDoNotWantHerFaceInThisProjectIThoughtIWouldPhotographMyselfDoingItInstead
#ItLooksABitLikeSheIsLickingAnIceCream
#IHopeItDoesNotLookTooDodgy
#WellIfItDoesThenThatIsYourDodgyMindNotMine

To be fair there were some dodgy looking pictures and I get enough weird messages as it is. In the end it was between this one and one that did look dodgy. I preferred this one, but I thought I’d ask T his opinion; I was happy when he also liked this one.

Maybe it looks more like I am just thinking. I do suck/bite my fingers when I am stressed (perhaps less now due to Covid now), so maybe it’s a similar thing. I think she is just discovering her body more though. I got reminded that she will be grabbing her feet and things soon, which will be funny!

#ItWasOnMyShootListButIWasTryingToNotDoOneForACoupleOfDays
#IAmUpToDateWithMyBlogPostsInTermsOfHavingSomethingWrittenForEachOne
#ThenOnTheDayThatIPostIJustCheckOverThemAndAddInAnythingElse

Though once I start writing blog posts I do get quite into them.

#AndIStartedACodingCourseLastWeekSoIFeelLikeIHaveALotGoingOn
#SoItWasNiceToNotHaveToWriteAnyBlogPostsForACoupleOfDays

Yeah it’s a bit much doing blog posts and classes in one night. Though I watched a few segments earlier and did the first task for my JavaScript week, and this is my second blog post but hopefully tomorrow night I can just focus on my course. Thanks to Tiago for being super supportive.

#ThenIHadAnImprintOfBsEarOnMyChest
#SoIWantedToPhotographThatWithMyQuoteProperKitUnquoteAsMostOfMyPicturesLatelyHaveBeenWithMyCrummyPhoneCamera
#ThoughIDidTryToTakeOneWithMyPhone
#AndAsEverythingWasSetUpAndBWasWithTiagoIThoughtIWouldTryOutThisIdea
#ItIsWhatItIs
#MeDoingAnImpressionOfBSuckingHerHand

I love how I don’t do a shoot for a few days and then I photograph two ideas. It’s how it goes. I’ve written the blog posts on the same day as the shoots, which at least is a good exercise in editing my shoots down quickly. It feels really good to be up to date with these things – until I make more work for myself.

#TiagoGotACoupleOfShelvingUnitsThatIHaveWantedSinceIStartedToNestAtTheBeginningOfLockdown
#SoHopefullyNowWeCanSoonHaveTheFlatMoreTidy

A certain furniture store was out of stock of certain things – like the cot we wanted – and then wasn’t delivering other things that we wanted. When they reopened we thought the queues would be too much, so we held off and tried to find them second hand. In the end we were too slow at getting them, so T finally braved it. He said there were still big queues and a lot of people going in together. I’d love to go round a shop, but I don’t think it’s a good idea for us to go as a family.

Anyways, we built them pretty fast and it’s nice to have my art books out finally after living in Liverpool for 20 months!

#ButThenTheNextThingWeNeedToWorryAboutIsBabyproofingEverything
#TheFunNeverEnds

Can she just exist within a playpen for the rest of her life?

#IFeelABitLonely
#IFeelLikeNonMumFriendsCanNotRelateToMeNowAndSomeAreKeepingTheirDistance
#AndThatIDoNotFitInWithNewMumFriendsAsIStartedToDoACourseAndTheyFeelLikeTheyDoNotHaveTimeToDoAnything
#INeedToBeProductiveAndRetainSomeOfMyOldIdentityAsOtherwiseItIsNotGoodForMyMentalHealth

(I’ve been thinking about these few hashtags since I wrote them and I feel awkward about them, but it’s how I feel.)

It is just a bit weird. Some people stop talking to you once you get pregnant, some stop talking to you once you’ve had a kid, some people it just feels awkward to talk to etc.

I know that some people feel bad for not being productive; I don’t want them to feel that way. Some people say they aren’t productive, but I bet they are in different ways to me.

I would love to just be relaxing, but I’m not very good at it. I’m trying to be more relaxed during the day though when me and B hang out though. I’m also lucky that Tiago understands that I need some time to do my own thing.

I guess I’ve always felt like I’ve never really fitted in anywhere anyways. Well, I feel like I fit in with my new family of T and B and that’s really good. I can be myself with them – for now. Maybe B will find me embarrassing in a few years’ time, but we will just have to wait and see!

I’ve said since before B was born that I need to retain some of my past identity. When I say that I mean just being able to do my art stuff as it is important for my mental health. I am at my worst when I feel like I haven’t done anything as my work is very therapeutic for me.

(I’m currently feeling a little stressed as I’ve started the next phase of my coding course – my session today took me longer than I planned and I didn’t do my task well – and I haven’t done a shoot in 4/5 days. Hopefully I will take photos tomorrow.)

#ILoveBToBitsAlreadyButSheCanNotProvideMeWithEverythingINeed

I love when she smiles and she giggles in her sleep a bit now. I can’t wait for her to laugh at loud at me doing dumb things to make her do so 🙂

#AndTheGoodThingAboutMyProjectIsItIsToDoWithOurFamily

So I may annoy them, but at least I’m around. At some point I would like to do something that perhaps isn’t so diaristic, but that’s where we are for now.

#ThoughWritingThingsLikeThisIsHardButIThinkSheWillUnderstandOneDay

Well, she will one day know that I can not provide her with everything she needs because it is impossible.

It is also hard to write about feeling lonely at times. I think I feel this way because of the pandemic too though; things would be a bit different if we weren’t going through this. It is odd though as a lot of people act like it is not happening.

#IAmStillWorkingOnABalanceButIGuessItIsAWorkInProgressFromWeekToWeek

It is a bit more day to day at times, but I am learning and different days need different approaches.

#INeedToDoSomeStretchingBeforeSheWakesUpFromHerNapAsIHaveNotInAFewDaysAndIDoNotFeelThatGreatBecauseOfIt

I was bouncing her in her bouncer while she slept. I finished the hashtags and got up to do a YouTube video. T took over bouncing duties, but she noticed the difference and she woke up pretty quickly.

Luckily she was pretty chilled and allowed me to finish. I think I fed and changed her, then I did a baby yoga video with her. I need to start doing more baby classes with her as it is good quality time and I feel like she gets a lot out of them. We are starting a new course soon, so hopefully she will enjoy it more now that she is a bit older.

(We have since started a new course and we haven’t been able to get through a class in one go – the last one we did it took 3 separate sessions to complete.

I hope this blog post makes sense. When I wrote it I was probably tired and now checking it I am quite tired. I’ve started to go to bed at 9pm if I can, but it seems that I can never sleep enough.)


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Categories
Oh Me, Oh Mãe

This Is Supposed To Be A Photo Of B’s Ear Imprint (31st August 2020)

Well I tried my best to get a good picture of it before it disappeared…

A bad photo of B's ear imprinted on my chest
This Is Supposed To Be A Photo Of B’s Ear Imprint (31st August 2020)
 
#BHadAMorningNapOnMe
#SheHadOneOnTiagoBeforeIWokeUpAndThenHePutHerBackInHerCot
#WhenSheCriedAndWokeMeUpIGotHerUpAndFedHerAndThenSheFellAsleepOnMeAndIWasTooTiredToGetUpSoILetHerSleep
#ICanNotGetUpInTheMorning
#WellIHaveToButIFeelTerribleForAWhile
#ButThenIGenerallyDoNotSleepAgainUntilNightTime
#WhileSheSleptOnMeIReadSomeOfMyLibraryBookThatIGenerallyOnlyReadDuringTheNight
#AsIFeelQuiteAwakeButThenWakeUpFeelingTerrible
#YouOnlyHave2WeeksToReadAnEbookAndTwoPeopleAreWaitingForItSoINeedToHurryUp
#OtherwiseIHaveToWaitForThemToBorrowItBeforeICanFinishIt
#TiagoBroughtMeBreakfastAndIAteWhatICouldOverHerHead
#WhenIMovedHerOffMeToEatTheMessierPartINoticedLinesOnMyStomachFromHerBabyGrowZip
#ButAlsoAStrangeMarkOnMyBoob
#LookingDownAtItIRealisedItWasAnImprintOfHerEar
#TJustCameIntoTheRoomKindOfHalfSkippingHalfLikeHeWasRidingAHorse
#HeSaidHeHadNeverMovedLikeItBeforeAndDidTheSameToExitTheRoom
#IThoughtIShouldMentionItAsItMadeMeLaugh
#AnywaysITriedToTakeAPictureOfTheEarImprint
#ButMyPhoneIsNotVeryGood
#AndALotWasOnShowIfIWantedToHaveItSoThatItWasInFocus
#SoIQuicklyPassedBToTiago
#AndSetUpMyPhotoStuffToSeeIfICouldTakeAnAlrightPhotoWithACloseupFilter
#GoodJobItIsABankHolidaySoHeWasAvailable
#IWasScramblingAsIKnewItWasAlreadyFading
#YouCanKindOfSeeItButIGuessItIsNotVeryObvious
#MyFriendBellaHasShownMePhotosOfHerSonsEarImprintedOnHerArmBefore
#ForSomeReasonIDidNotExpectToSeeMeWithOneSoSoon
#IAmSureItWillNotBeTheLastTimeEither
#MaybeNextTimeICanGetABetterPhoto
#ButItMightJustLookTheSame

Tiago says you can’t see s*** and that is quite accurate…

#BHadAMorningNapOnMe
#SheHadOneOnTiagoBeforeIWokeUpAndThenHePutHerBackInHerCot
#WhenSheCriedAndWokeMeUpIGotHerUpAndFedHerAndThenSheFellAsleepOnMeAndIWasTooTiredToGetUpSoILetHerSleep

So I should have either woken her up and fed her more, or woken her up and got her ready for the day. I did neither…

#ICanNotGetUpInTheMorning
#WellIHaveToButIFeelTerribleForAWhile
#ButThenIGenerallyDoNotSleepAgainUntilNightTime

I should really be napping more during the day when she naps, but that would be too smart.

To be fair most of her naps are on me, in the pushchair, in her carrier or in the bouncer whilst I am bouncing it so it’s not that easy…

(Since I wrote this she’s been taking more naps in her cot, but it’s a work in progress.)

#WhileSheSleptOnMeIReadSomeOfMyLibraryBookThatIGenerallyOnlyReadDuringTheNight
#AsIFeelQuiteAwakeButThenWakeUpFeelingTerrible
#YouOnlyHave2WeeksToReadAnEbookAndTwoPeopleAreWaitingForItSoINeedToHurryUp
#OtherwiseIHaveToWaitForThemToBorrowItBeforeICanFinishIt

I started to read when I only had 10 days left. I assumed I wouldn’t read it and would just return it like I do with a lot of books, but I’ve got quite into it. It’s called Diamonds at the Lost and Found by Sarah Aspinall. I love a good childhood memoir, but I was mainly drawn in by the cover on the library app. I tend not to read too much blurb as I like to be surprised.

(Well I finished it and now I’m reading Such A Fun Age by Kiley Reid.)

#TiagoBroughtMeBreakfastAndIAteWhatICouldOverHerHead

If you’re interested it was some olive tapenade on bread, some Sao Jorge cheese on bread and two eggs. I was worried the eggs would run over her head, so I asked him to put them on toast but the bread was small and I knew I would make a mess. Fun times.

#WhenIMovedHerOffMeToEatTheMessierPartINoticedLinesOnMyStomachFromHerBabyGrowZip

So yeah I had to move her off me and I felt bad. I also knew she would wake up as soon as I put her down.

#ButAlsoAStrangeMarkOnMyBoob
#LookingDownAtItIRealisedItWasAnImprintOfHerEar

Please remember this bit.

#TJustCameIntoTheRoomKindOfHalfSkippingHalfLikeHeWasRidingAHorse
#HeSaidHeHadNeverMovedLikeItBeforeAndDidTheSameToExitTheRoom
#IThoughtIShouldMentionItAsItMadeMeLaugh

A bit of a random hashtag interlude but Tiago looked so happy and it made me laugh out loud so I had to include it.

Remember the hashtags before though…

#AnywaysITriedToTakeAPictureOfTheEarImprint
#ButMyPhoneIsNotVeryGood
#AndALotWasOnShowIfIWantedToHaveItSoThatItWasInFocus
#SoIQuicklyPassedBToTiago

A bad phone picture where it is more obvious. I think that is also a crumb from my breakfast further up the left hand side of the photo.

Yeah a bad picture like that, but it is more clear. The crumb does crack me up though – I probably should just have this as the final image really.

(I’ve seen taken a photo of myself where you can see a lot of crumbs on me.)

#AndSetUpMyPhotoStuffToSeeIfICouldTakeAnAlrightPhotoWithACloseupFilter
#GoodJobItIsABankHolidaySoHeWasAvailable
#IWasScramblingAsIKnewItWasAlreadyFading
#YouCanKindOfSeeItButIGuessItIsNotVeryObvious
#MyFriendBellaHasShownMePhotosOfHerSonsEarImprintedOnHerArmBefore
#ForSomeReasonIDidNotExpectToSeeMeWithOneSoSoon
#IAmSureItWillNotBeTheLastTimeEither
#MaybeNextTimeICanGetABetterPhoto
#ButItMightJustLookTheSame

And that’s the story of how I got a photo of my chest with nothing much to see. I should probably moisturise it in the not so distant future by the zoomed in looks of it!


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Crying Because She Smiled At Me (19th August 2020)

Me with a tear on my cheek in the bathroom because my daughter smiled at me
Crying Because She Smiled At Me (19th August 2020)
 
#IUsedToCryBecauseSheDidNotSmile
#NowICryBecauseSheDoesSmile
#IHaveCriedThreeTimesBetweenHerFirstSmilingAtMeThisMorningAndMeOpeningThisDocumentToWriteTheseHashtags
#ObviouslyTearsOfJoy
#WeAreAllSatOnTheBedAndBIsAtMySide
#IKeepLookingDownAtHerAndTryingToMakeHerSmile
#MyNewFavouriteThingsIsJustSayingAEIOUAtHerAndOnUIPutMyFingerOnHerNose
#IReadThatBabiesLikeToLookAtYourMouth
#MyFavouriteSoundOfHersIsWhenSheCoos
#AndTheShapeThatHerMouthMovesIntoToMakeItIsSoCute
#IAlsoJustOpenMyMouthWideAndMakeAShortLaughingSoundWhichSheSeemsToLike
#SheLikesToGrabOnToThingsNow
#WeHaveALotOfMuslinsAndWeUseOneWithHerCarseatAndTheOtherDaySheWasHoldingItAllTheWayToTheCar
#AndSheIsFallingAsleepNowWithOneInHerHand
#MaybeItIsTimeToGiveHerTheComfortBlanketWeHaveForHer
#SheJustWokeUpAndMadeALittleSoundSoILookedOverAtHerAndMadeMyMouthBigAndSheSmiled
#IFeelLikeWhenSheIsInASmileyMoodICanSayAnythingAndSheWillSmile
#IMostlyCallHerAPoopMachineAndSayPoopInAHighPitchedWay
#SheAlsoPutsHerHandOnMyChestMoreWhenIFeedHer
#AllMyRecentPhonePhotosHaveJustBeenWhenIAmFeedingHerAndWhereShePutsHerHands
#IThinkYesterdayWasTheFirstTimeThatIDidNotHandExpressOrPump
#IFedHerOnAParkBenchYesterdayWhenWeMetNCTFriends
#AndTheDayBeforeIBreastfedHerAtATableOutsideOfARestaurant
#IReadAboutAnActivityToDoPaintingWithHer
#YouPutAPieceOfPaperWithBigDollopsOfPaintOnItInsideASeeThroughPlasticWalletAndTapeItToTheFloor
#ThenDragHerHandsAcrossItOrSeeIfSheInteractsWithItDuringTummyTime
#PerhapsSheIsTooYoungButWeMightTryItToday
#YesterdayIDidDanceVideosWithoutBAndAsMuchAsILoveHavingHerWithMeWhenIDoThemIThinkIDanceBetterAlone
#WhenSheIsOnMeMyMovementsAreLimitedAndIDoTheSameMobesButWithoutHerItIsMoreOfAWorkout
#SheJustWokeHerselfUpByCryingInHerSleepAndNowIAmCryingBecauseHerFrownBrokeMyHeart
 

It’s not the world’s best picture, but I only took a few. One was blah, one showed me licking the tear with my tongue (possibly interesting but odd) or this one which actually shows the tear but is a bit blurry. I guess the blurriness shows my hurried state these days – taking a few quick pictures in the bathroom then running back to my baby.

#IUsedToCryBecauseSheDidNotSmile
#NowICryBecauseSheDoesSmile
#IHaveCriedThreeTimesBetweenHerFirstSmilingAtMeThisMorningAndMeOpeningThisDocumentToWriteTheseHashtags
#ObviouslyTearsOfJoy

It’s such an amazing feeling to see her smiling at me; I’m getting emotional just writing this.

I wrote a post about my image/hashtags called My Baby Is A Brick Wall (14th July 2020), which talks about that I think I’ll find motherhood easier/better when B smiles and it is definitely true. Before it was hard when she didn’t show me any positive emotion, but obviously now that she does it makes me cry too – though in a good way.

Today B had some more injections and the person administering them (I never know the job titles of medical professionals) said it’s a shame that she never gets any babies smiling at her now because she has to wear a mask. I don’t think B just gets confused when I wear one, but it is true that she smiles less as me smiling at her usually triggers her to smile.

#WeAreAllSatOnTheBedAndBIsAtMySide
#IKeepLookingDownAtHerAndTryingToMakeHerSmile
#MyNewFavouriteThingsIsJustSayingAEIOUAtHerAndOnUIPutMyFingerOnHerNose
#IReadThatBabiesLikeToLookAtYourMouth

I have a hand movement for each vowel now. I’ll have to make a video of it and put it on my Instagram at some point, but without B as I don’t show her face. (Maybe I’ll get T to pretend to be B.)

I read that they like Old Macdonald Had A Farm, because of the vowel bit in the song. I sing it to her quite a bit, but also just say vowels at her… He has a lot of cows, because moo is a good mouth shape for her to copy. He also has a few cats and then whatever other animals I can think of.

#MyFavouriteSoundOfHersIsWhenSheCoos
#AndTheShapeThatHerMouthMovesIntoToMakeItIsSoCute

IT IS SO ADORABLE. I’m kind of annoyed at myself for choosing not to show her face as I just want to show the world how cute she is (and strong, and intelligent and smart etc.), but I also know that I should protect her privacy a bit.

(I feel like me saying I should protect her privacy makes me sound like I think I’m some ‘big shot’ or something. I don’t…)

#IAlsoJustOpenMyMouthWideAndMakeAShortLaughingSoundWhichSheSeemsToLike

It’s funny how quickly these things become a thing of the past. I don’t do this anymore… It’s a good job I record the songs that I make up for her as I often record them and then don’t sing them anymore.

#SheLikesToGrabOnToThingsNow
#WeHaveALotOfMuslinsAndWeUseOneWithHerCarseatAndTheOtherDaySheWasHoldingItAllTheWayToTheCar
#AndSheIsFallingAsleepNowWithOneInHerHand
#MaybeItIsTimeToGiveHerTheComfortBlanketWeHaveForHer

It’s nice to see her strength and awareness developing. I still need to get the comforter out of her toy bag for her…

#SheJustWokeUpAndMadeALittleSoundSoILookedOverAtHerAndMadeMyMouthBigAndSheSmiled
#IFeelLikeWhenSheIsInASmileyMoodICanSayAnythingAndSheWillSmile
#IMostlyCallHerAPoopMachineAndSayPoopInAHighPitchedWay

I also haven’t called her a poop machine much since I wrote the hashtags…

#SheAlsoPutsHerHandOnMyChestMoreWhenIFeedHer
#AllMyRecentPhonePhotosHaveJustBeenWhenIAmFeedingHerAndWhereShePutsHerHands

I’ve also started to take less pictures of feeding her, because of how her hands are. The other day she was putting her hands down my top whilst I fed her? She doesn’t know what she is doing, but it is funny.

#IThinkYesterdayWasTheFirstTimeThatIDidNotHandExpressOrPump

There were a couple of days where I didn’t, but I’m trying to do it once a day now. Mainly because it’s easier to give her her vitamin D in a bottle of milk, but also because I hope it helps keep my milk production up.

I realise that since I stopped pumping so much, when I do I don’t produce so much but I guess it’s more of a supply and demand now, whereas before I was probably over-producing.

(I’m trying to pump once a day now. Yesterday it took me a while to get 60ml from one boob and then I spilled 40ml of it over the bed – great.)

#IFedHerOnAParkBenchYesterdayWhenWeMetNCTFriends
#AndTheDayBeforeIBreastfedHerAtATableOutsideOfARestaurant

I talked about this already in a previous post or five.

#IReadAboutAnActivityToDoPaintingWithHer
#YouPutAPieceOfPaperWithBigDollopsOfPaintOnItInsideASeeThroughPlasticWalletAndTapeItToTheFloor
#ThenDragHerHandsAcrossItOrSeeIfSheInteractsWithItDuringTummyTime
#PerhapsSheIsTooYoungButWeMightTryItToday

Well I ended up doing a week or so later. I used too much paint and she really wasn’t in the mood for tummy time – which is unusual for her. Or perhaps she wasn’t in the mood for me to drag her hands, make her walk on it or sit on it…

B's first painting
I probably should have taken a picture of it now that it’s dry and not in the bag.

#YesterdayIDidDanceVideosWithoutBAndAsMuchAsILoveHavingHerWithMeWhenIDoThemIThinkIDanceBetterAlone
#WhenSheIsOnMeMyMovementsAreLimitedAndIDoTheSameMobesButWithoutHerItIsMoreOfAWorkout

I still want to dance with her occasionally, but it’s nice to have a bit of a workout.

One of the videos:

I broke a button off my dress (right video) and I’ve just realised how I shouldn’t dance in it until it is fixed. Maybe this is why I get annoying comments from men…


#SheJustWokeHerselfUpByCryingInHerSleepAndNowIAmCryingBecauseHerFrownBrokeMyHeart

She seems to be waking herself up my crying in her sleep a bit more lately. I think she does has bad dreams. It’s kind of cute when she does it, but I feel bad as I can’t stop her having bad dreams. I said it in my last post, but what do babies dream about?


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My First Pushchair Injury (18th August 2020)

My First Pushchair Injury (18th August 2020)
 
#INeverKnowWhatToCallBsVehicle
#TheWebsiteIBoughtItFromCallsItAStrollerButIThoughtThatWasTheSameAsAPushchair
#JustHadAResearch
#APramIsForNewborns
#APushchairIsForWhenTheyAreABitOlderAndCanSitUp
#AStrollerIsSuitableForToddlersAndYoungChildren
#ABuggyCanMeanAPushchairOrStroller
#WellItIsAStrollerWithABassinetOnItRightNow
#IAmKeepingTheTitleAsPushchairAsStrollerSoundsLikeIAmStrollingAbout
#WhichIWasToBeFairButNotWhenIHurtMyselfOnIt
#WeWentToMeetSomePeopleFromOurNCTGroup
#WeHadOurCourseOnlineNearly4MonthsAgoAndWeTalkEverydayInTheMumsWhatsAppGroup
#ThereAre8BabiesIncludingB
#5OfThemWereThereAndItWasTheFirstTimeIHadMetTwoOfThem
#ItIsFunnyAsIFeelLikeIHaveMetEveryoneInRealLifeButIAmStillYetToMeetThreeOfThem
#ThereIsAbout7WeeksBetweenTheOldestAndTheYoungestBaby
#WeMetInAParkAndJustStoodAboutChattingBabiesAndTV
#ForTheRecordWeAreMainlyWatchingSellingSunsetAndThisIsUs
#IBreastfedInPublicForTheSecondAndThirdTimeYesterdayAndTodaySoThatIsGood
#TheGroupHasBeenGreatAsItIsNiceToKnowThatOtherPeopleAreGoingThroughTheSameThing
#EspeciallyWithBeingPregnantGivingBirthAndHavingANewbornInAPandemic
#EveryoneLeftAndTBAndMeWentForABitMoreOfAWalk
#IThinkMyKneeHurtsFromWalkingOnSoMuchCobbledFloor
#ItWasTheFirstTimeTakingTheStrollerInTheCar
#SoWeHaveNotPutItUpAndDownMuch
#IWentToPutItDownAndICouldSeePeopleBehindWalkingCloseBySoIFeltUnderPressure
#ItWouldNotSeemToFoldSoIPushedItABitMore
#AndThenSuddenlyItWentAndIGuessItCaughtMyFinger
#IHaveNotChosenTheImageYetButIThinkIWillGoForOneWhereMyFingerLooksABitLikeASnake
#OfCourseAsSoonAsIHurtMyFingerIThoughtIWillPhotographThisLaterAndSoIDid

 

#INeverKnowWhatToCallBsVehicle
#TheWebsiteIBoughtItFromCallsItAStrollerButIThoughtThatWasTheSameAsAPushchair
#JustHadAResearch
#APramIsForNewborns
#APushchairIsForWhenTheyAreABitOlderAndCanSitUp
#AStrollerIsSuitableForToddlersAndYoungChildren
#ABuggyCanMeanAPushchairOrStroller
#WellItIsAStrollerWithABassinetOnItRightNow

I think it is probably actually a ‘2-in-1’ system or something, but who really cares?

I did briefly work in a baby shop many years ago, but obviously I never learned the difference then. It’s a bit weird thinking about it now as back then I don’t think I had that much interest in babies or thought I would end up having one of my own…

(I think from my early 20s or before I knew I wanted kids, but that it would not happen anytime soon.)

#IAmKeepingTheTitleAsPushchairAsStrollerSoundsLikeIAmStrollingAbout
#WhichIWasToBeFairButNotWhenIHurtMyselfOnIt

And people know what a pushchair is. I do stroll about with it a lot, but I should probably do it more…

#WeWentToMeetSomePeopleFromOurNCTGroup
#WeHadOurCourseOnlineNearly4MonthsAgoAndWeTalkEverydayInTheMumsWhatsAppGroup
#ThereAre8BabiesIncludingB
#5OfThemWereThereAndItWasTheFirstTimeIHadMetTwoOfThem
#ItIsFunnyAsIFeelLikeIHaveMetEveryoneInRealLifeButIAmStillYetToMeetThreeOfThem

We signed up to the NCT group as we had no idea about babies, but also because we wanted to meet more expectant parents in Liverpool. We knew a handful of people when we moved here at the end of 2018, and though we have made new friends we still didn’t know that many people. Some reviews did say that it was an expensive way to buy friends, but we thought we’d give it a go.

We ended up ‘meeting’ over Zoom due to lockdown and though at first I found it awkward, I eventually got over it. I was tired for weeks after the course as I think the stress of being on video to strangers stressed me out. That may sound weird as I’m in a lot of my work, but being a student on a course via webcam is a completely different thing.

I’ve since met a couple more, so there’s only one mother and baby that B and I haven’t met yet.

#ThereIsAbout7WeeksBetweenTheOldestAndTheYoungestBaby

B was born 4th, but she is not even a week younger than the oldest. The order would have been different if she hadn’t been born more than 2 weeks before her due date…

#WeMetInAParkAndJustStoodAboutChattingBabiesAndTV
#ForTheRecordWeAreMainlyWatchingSellingSunsetAndThisIsUs

I feel like I should be watching more TV and films with B, but instead I chose to write a blog and start a coding course…

(Yesterday we did watch Farmageddon though and it was very good. I say we, but B slept on my chest through all of it after feeding and T was doing other things.)

#IBreastfedInPublicForTheSecondAndThirdTimeYesterdayAndTodaySoThatIsGood

We had lunch with one of the Mums and we were both breastfeeding, then at the park another Mum was feeding. Feeding together is a good way to build confidence.

#TheGroupHasBeenGreatAsItIsNiceToKnowThatOtherPeopleAreGoingThroughTheSameThing
#EspeciallyWithBeingPregnantGivingBirthAndHavingANewbornInAPandemic

I know other people who have kids, but I think having been pregnant and had a baby in a pandemic is a different experience.

#EveryoneLeftAndTBAndMeWentForABitMoreOfAWalk
#IThinkMyKneeHurtsFromWalkingOnSoMuchCobbledFloor

We hadn’t been to that park before and not much walking had taken place, so we wanted to explore. My knee was playing up for a little bit.

#ItWasTheFirstTimeTakingTheStrollerInTheCar
#SoWeHaveNotPutItUpAndDownMuch
#IWentToPutItDownAndICouldSeePeopleBehindWalkingCloseBySoIFeltUnderPressure
#ItWouldNotSeemToFoldSoIPushedItABitMore
#AndThenSuddenlyItWentAndIGuessItCaughtMyFinger

I have since figured out where I was going wrong – there was a bit that you can push up or down that makes it easier. I did last read the instructions back in April, which is unusual for me as I just prefer to figure things out for myself unless I get really stuck.

#IHaveNotChosenTheImageYetButIThinkIWillGoForOneWhereMyFingerLooksABitLikeASnake

The other images were a bit boring. Maybe this one is too, but I do like that it looks a bit like an animal – I love finding faces in things.

Apparently it’s called pareidolia.

#OfCourseAsSoonAsIHurtMyFingerIThoughtIWillPhotographThisLaterAndSoIDid

Perhaps it’s not a normal way to think, but it seems to be how I operate these days. I guess it’s good though as otherwise I wouldn’t have a lot of images, though I don’t like being clumsy at times.

I am enjoying that I am not forcing pictures for this project though – I’m not doing random shoots and hoping something works. I usually have an idea in mind these days, which is a quicker way to work, and that is great – especially when you have a baby.


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This Is Supposed To Be A Picture Of My Cannula Mark (13th August 2020)

I was just going to call the photo ‘Cannula’, but that was a bit dull. This title is perhaps dull too – it should probably have been called ‘Find The Cannula Mark’. Can you?

This Is Supposed To Be A Picture Of My Cannula Mark (13th August 2020)
 
#ThisIsTheShootIHadInMindButIEndedUpTakingPicturesOfMeInMyWhiteBraWithMyBreastPadsShowing
#IAmUsingUpMyThrowAwayOnesAsIDoNotLikeMyWashableOnesAndNeedToBuySomeOtherOnes
#IWasSupposedToSayAllThisOnThatPictureButOhWell
#Cannula
#IHadToCheckTheSpellingAsIWasNotSure
#IThoughtItWasCanulaOrCandulaOrCanelaOrSomething
#IKeptCallingItACatheterAtOnePoint
#AFactIsThatCanelaIsPortugueseForCinnamon
#AnywaysIHadACannulaPutInMyWristWhilstInTheDeliverySuiteBeforeIStartedToPush
#IGuessInCaseTheyWantedToAdministerDrugsQuicklyForWhateverReason
#ItEndedUpStayingThereForQuiteAWhile
#MaybeUntilTheFourthDayOfHospital
#ItGotReallyAnnoyingAndIKeptKnockingIt
#ThereWasABigScabButItCameOffAndNowThereIsAMark
#ICalledItAScarBeforeAndMaybeItIsOrMaybeItIsNot
#TheReasonWhyIDecidedToPhotographItIsItHasBeenHotLatelyAndItIsStartingToItch
#MaybeThisMeansItIsHealingButMaybeItMeansItCaughtTheSunABit
#ItIsNotThatVisibleInThePhotoThoughIGuess
#WellItIsTheOnlyMarkOnMyWrist
#OtherVisibleMarksOnMyHandAndWristsAreMolesWithABirthmarkAlsoCreepingIntoFrame
#BDoesNotSeemToHaveAnyBirthmarks
#IHaveAlwaysLovedHandPhotosSoIGuessThisFitsWithMyLove
#AllThePicturesFromTheShootLookVerySimilar
#ThereWereMoreThanNecessaryToGoThroughButTheyWereEasyToDeleteAsMyHandWasInTheWrongPositionInMostOfThem
#NotCentralEnoughOrTooFarDownOrTooHighUp
#ThisIsTheProblemWithPhotographingYourselfByYourself
#ThoughIAmSureALotOfOtherSelfPortraiturePeopleAreProsWithItAll
#IAlsoHadNotPhotographedThisCannulaMarkWhichIsWhyIWantedToPhotographIt
#MaybeItWillGoSoonOrMaybeItWillHangAround
#INeedToHaveALittleNapBeforeBWakesUp
 

#ThisIsTheShootIHadInMindButIEndedUpTakingPicturesOfMeInMyWhiteBraWithMyBreastPadsShowing

See my previous post.

#IAmUsingUpMyThrowAwayOnesAsIDoNotLikeMyWashableOnesAndNeedToBuySomeOtherOnes

I have since bought some other ones. We rarely tumble-dry our clothes, but reading reviews of other breast pads they said that they went bad as they just air dry them. That solves the mystery of why they started to smell not so great…

Pregnancy is all about the bump, and if you breastfeed then early motherhood is all about the boobs…

#Cannula
#IHadToCheckTheSpellingAsIWasNotSure
#IThoughtItWasCanulaOrCandulaOrCanelaOrSomething
#IKeptCallingItACatheterAtOnePoint

It’s called a cannula, I know that now.

#AFactIsThatCanelaIsPortugueseForCinnamon

I always love when my hashtags present an opportunity for a Portuguese lesson.

#AnywaysIHadACannulaPutInMyWristWhilstInTheDeliverySuiteBeforeIStartedToPush
#IGuessInCaseTheyWantedToAdministerDrugsQuicklyForWhateverReason

I’m sure it’s protocol, but as they were worried that B’s head would get stuck as she was delivered breach they might have thought that it would need to be used. It didn’t.

#ItEndedUpStayingThereForQuiteAWhile
#MaybeUntilTheFourthDayOfHospital
#ItGotReallyAnnoyingAndIKeptKnockingIt

I asked once if I could have it taken out, but they said no as it might still need to be used. It didn’t.

#ThereWasABigScabButItCameOffAndNowThereIsAMark
#ICalledItAScarBeforeAndMaybeItIsOrMaybeItIsNot

I’m in my 30s and I should know what the definition of a scar is. I don’t want to lie about whether things are a mark or a scar! I checked the definition and it says that it’s a mark that is left after an injury has healed. So I guess a scar or a mark works. Yes, I do need a nap. Maybe it will fade away though.

#TheReasonWhyIDecidedToPhotographItIsItHasBeenHotLatelyAndItIsStartingToItch
#MaybeThisMeansItIsHealingButMaybeItMeansItCaughtTheSunABit

I did think about photographing it before, but it took me a while to get round to it. It itched for a couple of days then stopped. Delightful.

#ItIsNotThatVisibleInThePhotoThoughIGuess
#WellItIsTheOnlyMarkOnMyWrist

I kind of like it in a weird way. It’s a reminder of that strange time where I ended up in hospital for 4 nights after thinking I’d have a homebirth or at least a waterbirth. Nope.

#OtherVisibleMarksOnMyHandAndWristsAreMolesWithABirthmarkAlsoCreepingIntoFrame
#BDoesNotSeemToHaveAnyBirthmarks

I originally wrote that I was a little sad that she doesn’t have one, but then I thought that maybe they are caused by painful/not nice things. I don’t know. I did research a bit, but my brain is too tired right now. I have at least 3 birthmarks I think. I don’t think about them much, but I do get reminded of them in photos from time to time.

I’ve been asked at appointments a few times if she has birthmarks. Early on I felt like I hadn’t really looked at her body enough to know, which then I thought maybe I should have. I find it weird when I see her back with no clothes on – that sounds odd.

The hashtags also fail to mention the heat blisters that you can see on my fingers. Fun times.

#IHaveAlwaysLovedHandPhotosSoIGuessThisFitsWithMyLove

I love posing hands in photographs; they can really change the look of an image. I made a project in Watford where the poses are all about the hands.

#AllThePicturesFromTheShootLookVerySimilar
#ThereWereMoreThanNecessaryToGoThroughButTheyWereEasyToDeleteAsMyHandWasInTheWrongPositionInMostOfThem
#NotCentralEnoughOrTooFarDownOrTooHighUp

I had some trouble choosing between the few that were in a better position.

#ThisIsTheProblemWithPhotographingYourselfByYourself
#ThoughIAmSureALotOfOtherSelfPortraiturePeopleAreProsWithItAll

I’m sure some people get quite into the positioning and focus element of it all, but I just do a lot of trial and error.

#IAlsoHadNotPhotographedThisCannulaMarkWhichIsWhyIWantedToPhotographIt
#MaybeItWillGoSoonOrMaybeItWillHangAround

Oh yeah I said this earlier on. I don’t have any tattoos, but I thought about getting something around it. I won’t.

#INeedToHaveALittleNapBeforeBWakesUp

I love how I put this on the end. Did I have a nap? No. Would I like one now? Yes.

Today I’ve been working on noticing B’s sleepy cues more. I only realised yesterday (via this instagram post) that when her eyebrows go pink/red, it means she is tired. I thought it was a skin problem or something… I’ve been trying to get her to have a nap every 60-90 minutes today and I’m finishing this post as she is in her cot next to me drifting off to napland. Or so it appears. Fingers crossed!


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Armpit Fungus (6th August 2020)

I asked Tiago which picture he preferred out of two options and he said ‘you’re not posting about your armpit fungus are you?’ It’s awkward, but yes I am.

He said, ‘what has that got to do with motherhood?’
I said, ‘I got it from breastfeeding’. He didn’t seem to believe me, and I might not have done but I’ve never had it before in my life until now…

Armpit Fungus (6th August 2020)
 
#ThisIsProbablyMyMostGlamorousPhotoToDate
#PleaseMayIIntroduceYouToMyArmpitFungus
#BHadHerFirstSetOfJabsTodayAndIHadACheckUp
#YesWeDidGoLastNightForBsCheckUp
#TheWomanWhoDidMyCheckUpCouldNotDoBsAsSheHasNotDoneTheRelevantCourse
#WeGaveBSomeParacetamolBeforeHandLikeTheDoctorSaidToYesterday
#SheHadAnOralVaccinationForSomethingThenA6In1VaccinationInOneLegAndThenMeningitisBInTheOther
#TheDoctorSaidTheParentsUsuallyGetMoreTraumatisedThanTheBabies
#InMyHeadIWasLikeNahIWillBeFine
#ThenPoorLittleBLetOutAWailThatIHadNotHeardBeforeAndIFeltAwful
#IThinkWritingYesterdayAboutTheAwkwardnessOfBabyTalkMadeMeGetOverMyself
#AsIJustKeptTalkingAndTalkingToBAfterwards
#IWentToTheWaitingRoomWhereIComfortedHerAndFedHerALittleWhilstWeWaitedForMyAppointment
#IGotCalledInAndIShowedHerMyArmpit
#IProbablyGotItFromBeingSweatyAllTheTimeAsBreastfeedingSeemsToMakeMeSweat
#ShePrescribedACream
#SheCheckedMyStitchesAndIHaveABitOfScarTissueThatSheSaidMightSoftenInAFewMonths
#TheySnaggedABitOfSkinWhenTheyWereStitchingMeUpAndIHopeItDoesSoften
#ISaidIHaveBeenFeelingEmotionalAtTimesButIKnowItIsWhenIAmMyMostSleepiest
#SheSaidToCallIfItFeelsLikeSomethingThatIsNotSleepRelated
#AndThatBreastfeedingIsANaturalFormOfContraceptionButItIsAdvisedToUseAnotherFormToo
#YesterdayOneOfTheWomenWorkingThereSaidHatsOffToMeForBeingPregnantAndHavingABabyDuringThePandemic
#ISaidHatsOffToHerForHavingToLookAfterTwoKidsDuringItAll
#IHadNotBeenPregnantOrHadABabyBeforeSoIDoNotKnowAnyDifferent
#IWentToPickUpMyPrescription
#ItWasMyFirstTimeInAShopSinceMarchAsTiagoWentTheTwoTimesBeforeToPickThemUp
#IBoughtTwoBagsOfDiscountedPopcornAsTheyWere10PEachAndILoveABargain
#SoPopcornWasMyFirstPhysicalPurchaseThatITappedMyCardForInAVeryLongTime
#IBoughtThemMoreForTiagoButIAteABagWhilstGoingForALongWalkHomeWithB
#BSleptThroughMyAppointmentAndAllTheWayHome

It does just look like I want to show off my armpit hair. I still feel awkward about it and I can’t even remember how long I’ve had it for now…

Today B and I attended our first baby class in real life (not via Zoom). My two favourite nursing dresses are sleeveless and it was too hot to wear a cardigan, so I decided to try not to care about my hairy pits and put my arms in the air when required. Hopefully the other Mums were just too busy worrying about themselves and their babies, and I’m sure the teacher doesn’t care. I was on the end so random people walking by probably saw too, but oh well.

There are some things that I don’t talk about in my work, and there are also some things that I probably shouldn’t talk about but here I am talking about my armpits.

If I’m this self-conscious about my hair then I should probably get rid of it, but I don’t like shaving them and epilating is too painful. I’m fine if I’m not required to lift my arms above my head, but anyways…

#ThisIsProbablyMyMostGlamorousPhotoToDate

Yes, I do love sarcasm.

#PleaseMayIIntroduceYouToMyArmpitFungus

It’s not that interesting to look at sorry. It would be better if I had little mushrooms growing there – that would be really cool! Even better if I could fry them up and eat them. Yes, I do feel a little ill now.

#BHadHerFirstSetOfJabsTodayAndIHadACheckUp
#YesWeDidGoLastNightForBsCheckUp
#TheWomanWhoDidMyCheckUpCouldNotDoBsAsSheHasNotDoneTheRelevantCourse

Everything was initially booked for the same day, which would have been a lot easier. At least we had some practice in getting out of the flat in time for appointments though.

#WeGaveBSomeParacetamolBeforeHandLikeTheDoctorSaidToYesterday #SheHadAnOralVaccinationForSomethingThenA6In1VaccinationInOneLegAndThenMeningitisBInTheOther

The paracetamol was for the meningitis B as apparently it’s not very nice, and the oral vaccine was for rotavirus, which I don’t think I have ever heard of.

#TheDoctorSaidTheParentsUsuallyGetMoreTraumatisedThanTheBabies
#InMyHeadIWasLikeNahIWillBeFine
#ThenPoorLittleBLetOutAWailThatIHadNotHeardBeforeAndIFeltAwful

I think it was more the shock than anything else, but she soon got over it. I knew it was for the best, though it’s still hard to see your baby crying.

#IThinkWritingYesterdayAboutTheAwkwardnessOfBabyTalkMadeMeGetOverMyself
#AsIJustKeptTalkingAndTalkingToBAfterwards
#IWentToTheWaitingRoomWhereIComfortedHerAndFedHerALittleWhilstWeWaitedForMyAppointment

Oh yeah I don’t care about baby talking anymore. I think B is trying her hardest to talk back which is cool. It does weird me out thinking that one day we will be having conversations, but I can’t wait! I need to start improving my Portuguese so I will know what her and T are saying…

#IGotCalledInAndIShowedHerMyArmpit
#IProbablyGotItFromBeingSweatyAllTheTimeAsBreastfeedingSeemsToMakeMeSweat

I didn’t show it straight away, but I suddenly remembered about it and it was a good time to ask about it. I don’t know what I thought it was, but I wasn’t expecting her to say fungus.

Breastfeeding really does make me sweaty so I’m not surprised.

#SheCheckedMyStitchesAndIHaveABitOfScarTissueThatSheSaidMightSoftenInAFewMonths
#TheySnaggedABitOfSkinWhenTheyWereStitchingMeUpAndIHopeItDoesSoften

I guess something had to go ‘wrong’ as the birth seemed pretty straightforward in the end. Obviously the hospital stay was a bit rocky, but it feels like old news now.

#ISaidIHaveBeenFeelingEmotionalAtTimesButIKnowItIsWhenIAmMyMostSleepiest
#SheSaidToCallIfItFeelsLikeSomethingThatIsNotSleepRelated

I definitely have been better now that I have been working on my life balance and know when to take nap (if I can).

#AndThatBreastfeedingIsANaturalFormOfContraceptionButItIsAdvisedToUseAnotherFormToo

Like I have said before I wouldn’t take any chances after a woman opposite me in the ward had a newborn and a 10-month old baby, and she was breastfeeding.

#YesterdayOneOfTheWomenWorkingThereSaidHatsOffToMeForBeingPregnantAndHavingABabyDuringThePandemic
#ISaidHatsOffToHerForHavingToLookAfterTwoKidsDuringItAll
#IHadNotBeenPregnantOrHadABabyBeforeSoIDoNotKnowAnyDifferent

She said she was getting broody by looking at B, but wouldn’t want to be pregnant now as she knows what it is like to not be pregnant during a pandemic. Major respect to anyone who had to look after their kids 24/7 whilst getting on with the rest of their lives at home.

I guess if I am ever pregnant again it will be a different experience, though who knows it might not be…

#IWentToPickUpMyPrescription
#ItWasMyFirstTimeInAShopSinceMarchAsTiagoWentTheTwoTimesBeforeToPickThemUp
#IBoughtTwoBagsOfDiscountedPopcornAsTheyWere10PEachAndILoveABargain
#SoPopcornWasMyFirstPhysicalPurchaseThatITappedMyCardForInAVeryLongTime
#IBoughtThemMoreForTiagoButIAteABagWhilstGoingForALongWalkHomeWithB

I really miss going to the supermarket and it was the closest thing to being in one. I went again to get another prescription recently and I bought more discounted food – I can’t help it, I love a bargain! I got chocolate bars and flapjacks. I know, super healthy choices.

It’s nice to have an excuse to talk to strangers and pretend that the world is semi-normal even if we are all wearing masks.

Today it was lovely to just be around so many other Mums and their babies. We met a few people who I’ve only spoken to via WhatsApp and Zoom, so it was nice to finally meet them in real life and have conversations. It’s good to get outside and just feel like life is somewhat ‘normal’ at times.

#BSleptThroughMyAppointmentAndAllTheWayHome

Lucky me! She doesn’t always sleep when I want her to, but when she does it really is great!


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Categories
Oh Me, Oh Mãe

My First Time Breastfeeding In Public (5th August 2020)

My First Time Breastfeeding In Public (5th August 2020)
 
#IDidItIFinallyBreastfedInPublic
#WellItWasTheWaitingRoomOfTheDoctorsAfterBsCheckUp
#AndNoOneWasThere
#TheReceptionStaffWereSittingBehindPerspexOrWhateverAtTheOtherEndOfTheRoom
#AndIUsedThePushchairToBlockTheViewJustInCase
#AfterAWhileIRealisedThatThereWasACCTVCameraOnTheWallToMyLeft
#Lol
#OhWellItIsQuiteDiscreetOnceYouGetThemLatchedOn
#IDoNotThinkBHadTheBestLatchButItWasTolerable
#SheFedFor6MinutesThenFellAsleepAndSleptInHerPushchairForTheNextCoupleOfHours
#ThatNeverHappens
#SheSleptThroughDinnerAndThenWokeUpOnceWeWokeHerUpForHerNextFeed
#ThisWeekItIsNationalBreastfeedingWeekSoIGuessItWasAGoodWeekToDoIt
#IDidHaveABottleOfExpressedMilkInACoolBagButIThoughtItWasMaybeMoreOfAFaffThanBreastfeeding
#TiagoSaysSheSeemsToBeABitMessierWhenFeedingFromABottleTheseDays
#IAmNotSureIfItIsJustHerGettingExcitedOrWhat
#TiagoSeemsMoreConcernedAboutItThanIAm
#IWillMentionItTomorrowWhenSheGetsHerJabsDone
#IfIRemember
#INeedToBuildMyConfidenceWithFeedingHerInPublic
#IAmSureIWouldHaveDoneItLoadsByNowIfThereWasNotAPandemic
#ButMaybeNot
#WhoKnows
#SometimesIGetStressedOutButSheOnlyHasVeryBasicNeedsRightNow
#SheIsCurrentlyLyingBellyUpOnTiagosChestHiccupping
#SheLooksQuiteSleepyButIGuessTheyAreKeepingHerUp
#SheHiccuppedALotInTheWomb
#HopefullyTheyWillStopSoonAndSheCanSleepALittle
#SheIsTooCute
#IStillCanNotBelieveThatWeHaveABaby

It’s not the best photo, but you get the point. The light from the window and me wearing a mask make it quite it dramatic.

#IDidItIFinallyBreastfedInPublic
#WellItWasTheWaitingRoomOfTheDoctorsAfterBsCheckUp
#AndNoOneWasThere
#TheReceptionStaffWereSittingBehindPerspexOrWhateverAtTheOtherEndOfTheRoom
#AndIUsedThePushchairToBlockTheViewJustInCase

It was a good first place to feed that wasn’t in a flat/house as it was quite private, so I felt confident enough to do it.

#AfterAWhileIRealisedThatThereWasACCTVCameraOnTheWallToMyLeft
#Lol

This did make me laugh. I’m guessing the video is just shown in the office section and it was all women there, so I just found it funny.

#OhWellItIsQuiteDiscreetOnceYouGetThemLatchedOn
#IDoNotThinkBHadTheBestLatchButItWasTolerable

Yes, the most nerve-wracking bit was getting her to latch on as sometimes she likes to come off a bit before starting to feed properly. Once she is feeding there isn’t much to see as she blocks the boob from view. I didn’t want to unlatch her and put her on again, but if it was more uncomfortable I would have.

#SheFedFor6MinutesThenFellAsleepAndSleptInHerPushchairForTheNextCoupleOfHours
#ThatNeverHappens
#SheSleptThroughDinnerAndThenWokeUpOnceWeWokeHerUpForHerNextFeed

We met up with Tiago after leaving the doctors and went out for dinner, which I talked about in yesterday’s post.

#IDidHaveABottleOfExpressedMilkInACoolBagButIThoughtItWasMaybeMoreOfAFaffThanBreastfeeding

Usually when we go out we take a bottle of expressed milk, but then if I feel up to it I breastfeed. Most of the time she sleeps though so the milk has had an unnecessary trip.

#TiagoSaysSheSeemsToBeABitMessierWhenFeedingFromABottleTheseDays
#IAmNotSureIfItIsJustHerGettingExcitedOrWhat
#TiagoSeemsMoreConcernedAboutItThanIAm

We mentioned this the other day and my Mum thinks she might be teething, as she is producing more saliva and is chewing the teat a bit. I think back to then though and she was just discovering her tongue and faffing about a bit.

#IWillMentionItTomorrowWhenSheGetsHerJabsDone
#IfIRemember

I forgot… probably because I wasn’t that worried.

#INeedToBuildMyConfidenceWithFeedingHerInPublic
#IAmSureIWouldHaveDoneItLoadsByNowIfThereWasNotAPandemic
#ButMaybeNot
#WhoKnows

I have done it a couple more times now. Once when we were out to lunch and another time at the park, but friends were feeding their babies too so I felt more relaxed. I would have probably been out more if there wasn’t a pandemic, but like I said, who knows?

#SometimesIGetStressedOutButSheOnlyHasVeryBasicNeedsRightNow

She needs to be fed, changed, put to bed, comforted, washed and played with. She sleeps for the majority of the day really.

#SheIsCurrentlyLyingBellyUpOnTiagosChestHiccupping

I think her favourite place (maybe not but she can’t tell us otherwise) is on Tiago’s chest; that’s where she does a lot of her tummy time.

#SheLooksQuiteSleepyButIGuessTheyAreKeepingHerUp
#SheHiccuppedALotInTheWomb
#HopefullyTheyWillStopSoonAndSheCanSleepALittle

I spelled hiccupped and hiccupping wrong. I put only one p for some reason. I should be better at spelling them considered she does it so much, but I can’t really spellcheck hashtags which is a bit annoying. It’s fine, I only have to correct the spelling in about 6 places when I realise. 👍

#SheIsTooCute
#IStillCanNotBelieveThatWeHaveABaby

I wonder when this feeling of ‘whoa, I have a baby’ will go away. I took a photo of B and I the other day, and it felt weird seeing myself with a baby. I’m feeling a lot more confident with looking after her though, which I guess you’d hope so by now…


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Categories
Oh Me, Oh Mãe

What B Sees (5th August 2020)

What B Sees (5th August 2020)
 
#IThoughtIWouldTakeAPictureOfHowILookWhenITalkToB
#YouKnowWithThatHighPitchedSingSongVoice
#ItFeelsABitAwkwardTalkingToBWhenWeAreOutAndAboutAlone
#TalkingToABabyWhoEveryoneCanSeeWillNotTalkBack
#ButSheWontBeTalkingBackForAWhileSoINeedToGetUsedToIt
#AtHomeIJustPullSillyFacesAndMakeUpSongsALot
#SheSmilesMoreNowWhichIsSuperNiceThoughItStillSeemsAtRandomTimesAndNotAtAnythingInParticular
#SheHadACheckUpAtTheDoctorsToday
#IWasNervousAboutGoingButWeWereTheOnlyOnesInTheWaitingRoom
#TheDoctorWasNiceAndIHadSpokenToHerOnThePhoneBefore
#ItIsSoGreatJustSendingInPhotosOfTheProblemAndNotHavingToWorryAboutGoing
#IHopeTheyKeepThisServiceForever
#AnywaysAllWasGoodApartFromHerHipClickingOnOneSide
#TheDoctorSaidSheWouldHaveReferredHerForItButSheAlreadyHasAnAppointmentAboutItLaterThisMonth
#ThatWasBecauseOfAReferralAfterBirthAsSheWasBornBreechAndIThinkAllBreechBabiesHaveThatCheck
#SheSaidToPutTwoNappiesOnBForNowAsTheyMightRecommendItAtTheAppointment
#TheDoctorApologisedForTalkingToBInTheSingSongBabyVoice
#ISaidNoNeedToApologise
#IHadAlreadyPlannedToDoThisShootBeforeWeWentToTheDoctorsButIfNotMaybeHerCommentWouldHaveMadeMeThinkAboutTakingAPhotoLikeThis
#AtTheDoctorsBWouldNotHaveSeenUsDoingTheWideMouthKindOfLookThoughAsWeWereWearingMasks
#TheDoctorSaidThatBIsTheMostAlert8WeekOldSheHasEverSeenButIAmSureSheSaysThatAboutAllTheBabies
#AfterwardsIBreastfedHerForTheFirstTimeInPublic
#ITookAPictureToMarkTheOccasionSoIMadeADifferentSetOfHashtagsForThatImage
#WeGotAPrescriptionForBabyParacetamolToGiveHerBeforeHerJabsTomorrow
#ThenWeWentOutForDinnerAgainToMakeTheMostOfTheGovernmentsEatOutOutToHelpOutScheme
#WeTryToChoosePlacesThatHaveALotOfSpaceAndWhereWeWillFeelMoreComfortable
#BSleptThroughItLikeSheDidLastNight
#IAmSureSheWillBeAwakeNextTimeButINeedToBuildUpMyConfidenceWithFeedingHerInPublic
#IHaveSaidBeforeThatIDoNotWantToGetChangedOrChangeMyAppearanceForTheseShoots
#SoIKeptMySunglassesOnMyHeadAsIWasStillWearingThemFromOurTripOutWhilstSettingUp

#IThoughtIWouldTakeAPictureOfHowILookWhenITalkToB
#YouKnowWithThatHighPitchedSingSongVoice

You know the voice. The one you talk to babies and animals with…

#ItFeelsABitAwkwardTalkingToBWhenWeAreOutAndAboutAlone
#TalkingToABabyWhoEveryoneCanSeeWillNotTalkBack
#ButSheWontBeTalkingBackForAWhileSoINeedToGetUsedToIt

I said that, but she actually is quite talkative in her own way. I made a video of her trying to sing yesterday, which is quite cute. She won’t be ‘talking talking’ for a long while, but she is already definitely trying.

#AtHomeIJustPullSillyFacesAndMakeUpSongsALot

I’ve posted a couple of songs (Milky Milky Moos and You’re My Baby) to my Instagram account. I should probably do another one soon…

#SheSmilesMoreNowWhichIsSuperNiceThoughItStillSeemsAtRandomTimesAndNotAtAnythingInParticular

She definitely smiles with a purpose now, which is really nice. She seems to smile more in the mornings, but maybe we are just imagining it.

#SheHadACheckUpAtTheDoctorsToday
#IWasNervousAboutGoingButWeWereTheOnlyOnesInTheWaitingRoom

It makes sense that places lock their doors to stop random people walking in, but I was awkwardly stood outside pressing a doorbell wondering if I had to call a number instead. Someone came to the door after a little while.

#TheDoctorWasNiceAndIHadSpokenToHerOnThePhoneBefore
#ItIsSoGreatJustSendingInPhotosOfTheProblemAndNotHavingToWorryAboutGoing
#IHopeTheyKeepThisServiceForever

I have mentioned this a few times already, but I really hope they do keep it. It’s super convenient and saves so much time.

#AnywaysAllWasGoodApartFromHerHipClickingOnOneSide
#TheDoctorSaidSheWouldHaveReferredHerForItButSheAlreadyHasAnAppointmentAboutItLaterThisMonth
#ThatWasBecauseOfAReferralAfterBirthAsSheWasBornBreechAndIThinkAllBreechBabiesHaveThatCheck
#SheSaidToPutTwoNappiesOnBForNowAsTheyMightRecommendItAtTheAppointment

Perhaps I should be more concerned about all of this, but I don’t see the point in getting stressed about it yet. I originally thought the appointment was the week after, but that was actually for her positional talipes (more commonly known as clubfoot – all was fine and she doesn’t need to be seen about it again). Hopefully because she will have been wearing double nappies for a few weeks by the time of her appointment it may have made a difference. I’m not entirely sure what it does, but looking online it might help the hip socket heal/put the hip back in the socket properly?

#TheDoctorApologisedForTalkingToBInTheSingSongBabyVoice
#ISaidNoNeedToApologise
#IHadAlreadyPlannedToDoThisShootBeforeWeWentToTheDoctorsButIfNotMaybeHerCommentWouldHaveMadeMeThinkAboutTakingAPhotoLikeThis

It’s quite funny seeing strangers interact with B, but it’s cute. It’s nice for her to get used to being around new people in a time when it is all a bit awkward.

#AtTheDoctorsBWouldNotHaveSeenUsDoingTheWideMouthKindOfLookThoughAsWeWereWearingMasks

I love when I smile at someone and then remember I’m wearing a mask, so they probably can’t tell. I wondered if the masks scare B, but they don’t seem to bother her. I guess she’s too young to care.

#TheDoctorSaidThatBIsTheMostAlert8WeekOldSheHasEverSeenButIAmSureSheSaysThatAboutAllTheBabies

Maybe, maybe not. I sometimes forget how young she is as she does seem older, but then again I don’t have much knowledge about young babies. I like that she spends a good amount of time awake and just chilling/daydreaming.

#AfterwardsIBreastfedHerForTheFirstTimeInPublic
#ITookAPictureToMarkTheOccasionSoIMadeADifferentSetOfHashtagsForThatImage

I was going to include it in this post, but I’ll save that fun for the next one.

#WeGotAPrescriptionForBabyParacetamolToGiveHerBeforeHerJabsTomorrow

Tiago was coming to meet us so he went and got the prescription. I still hadn’t been in a shop since March at this point.

They said to give her some before the appointment and then 4-6 hours afterwards.

#ThenWeWentOutForDinnerAgainToMakeTheMostOfTheGovernmentsEatOutOutToHelpOutScheme
#WeTryToChoosePlacesThatHaveALotOfSpaceAndWhereWeWillFeelMoreComfortable
#BSleptThroughItLikeSheDidLastNight

We went somewhere that had an outdoor area that was sheltered. It seems like some tables are quite close to others, but so far we have been quite lucky and sat a bit more to ourselves.

With her being asleep though I start to get a bit stressed towards the end as what if she wakes up just as we are about to leave? If she wakes up at the beginning or in the middle-ish it wouldn’t be so bad. We’ll deal with it when we get there though.

#IAmSureSheWillBeAwakeNextTimeButINeedToBuildUpMyConfidenceWithFeedingHerInPublic

Oh yeah she was, but it was fine and our confidence definitely got built a bit. She was awake for most of it and the service was slow, which was great as I gave us plenty of time to deal with her needs.

#IHaveSaidBeforeThatIDoNotWantToGetChangedOrChangeMyAppearanceForTheseShoots
#SoIKeptMySunglassesOnMyHeadAsIWasStillWearingThemFromOurTripOutWhilstSettingUp

I originally chose a photo where my hair was quite tidy, but T and my younger sister both preferred this one. I then realised that this is a more accurate depiction of how I generally look – my hair is usually in a mess and rarely washed. Today I washed my hair and it was starting to matt underneath, so it looks like I will be brushing it more from now on…


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