Categories
Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Failing To Imitate B Playing With Her Socks While B Tried To Make It Look Like She Took The Photo (26th May 2021)

Self-portrait in a dark pink jumper holding one sock against my head and one against my chin. The hand of my daughter appears from the bottom centre of the frame and she is holding a shutter release button.
Failing To Imitate B Playing With Her Socks While B Tried To Make It Look Like She Took The Photo (26th May 2021)
 
#WeKeepALotOfHerSocksInTheLivingRoomByHerJacketsSoThatWeCanPutThemOnBeforeGoingOut
#BHasANewishThingOfGettingThemAndJustPlayingWithThem
#SheMainlyWavesThemAroundButSometimesSheTriesToEatThem
#SomeGoodNewsIsThatIPassedMyDrivingTheoryTestThisWeek
#MyMumWatchedBWhileIWentIntoBirminghamCityCentre
#TheTrainWasBusierThanLastTimeAndSeeingOtherKidsBeingPushedAroundInPushchairsMadeMeMissB
#INeedToFindTheCourageToTakeHerThereSometimeButIFeelABitWorried
#IHaveNotTakenHerThatFarAwayFromHomeByMyselfBeforeButIShouldTryToDoItSoon
#InTwoWeeksTiagoWillHaveAWeekOffSoIAmLookingForwardToThat
#MaybeWeWillGoToBirminghamThenSoAtLeastItWillNotBeSoScaryAsTakingHerByMyself
#IWasSurprisedThatIPassedMyTestAsThereWereAFewThingsIKnewNothingAbout
#NowIJustNeedToFindADrivingInstructorAndGetDrivingWhichIAmExcitedForButAlsoNervousAbout
#IQuicklyWentToAGalleryAfterwardsWhichWasMyFirstVisitToOneSinceMovingToBirmingham
#IHadToGetBackHomeToTakeBToHerBabyClassSoItWasASuperSpeedyVisit
#TheNightBeforeMyTestBWasWakingUpEveryTwoHoursOrSoWhichSheNeverDoes
#IThinkSheIsTeethingAndSheIsNotVeryWell
#TheOtherMorningSheFellAsleepOnMyNanLessThanAnHourAfterSheHadWokenUpWhichSheRarelyDoes
#IAmFineAfterHavingAToothRemovedButNowTiagoHasAToothThatIsPlayingUp
#HeManagedToGetToTheDentistYesterdayAndTheyGaveHimSomePenicillin
#IfWeManageToMakeItToPortugalThisSummerThenTiagosDentistCousinWillSortHimOut
#WeManagedToGetToBsClassOnTimeAndAfterwardsIThoughtSheWouldNotNapOnTheWayHome
#IHadPutHerHoodUpAndAfter5MinutesICheckedOnHerAndItWasAllTheWayDownToHerMouthAndSheWasAsleep
#SheWasSleepingVeryHeavilyWhileIPushedHerAroundThenJustSatOnABench
#MyLegsWereLikeJellyAsIWasNotUsedToWalkingSoMuchInOneDay
#LastNightIWasLyingDownOnTheFloorAndBCameOver
#IThoughtWeWereGoingToHaveASweetMomentButSheStuckHerThumbUpMyNose
#ItWasFunnyButItDidHurtAndMyNoseBledABit
#NextWeekIsHalfTermWhichMeansHerClassesAndGroupsWillNotBeRunning
#TheWeatherIsGettingBetterAtLeastSoHopefullyWeCanJustSitInTheParkMore
#IAmYetToTryGoingToSoftPlayAgainButIShouldGiveTheOneWeHaveNotGoneToAChance

#WeKeepALotOfHerSocksInTheLivingRoomByHerJacketsSoThatWeCanPutThemOnBeforeGoingOut

It would probably make more sense to put them in her room by her changing mat, but they get washed and end up just hanging around there. Sorry Nan.

#BHasANewishThingOfGettingThemAndJustPlayingWithThem

Nice.

#SheMainlyWavesThemAroundButSometimesSheTriesToEatThem

She gets quite excited waving them about. I’m yet to do the shoot, but that’s what I imagine I’ll copy. Maybe capture some movement in an arty way?

(26th July: Nope, just me pressing them to my face while B messed about around me. The camera was taking pictures every couple of seconds – easier to do when you’re trying to hold a sock in each hand and have a young child moving about.)

#SomeGoodNewsIsThatIPassedMyDrivingTheoryTestThisWeek

Hurrahhhh. No more revising!

#MyMumWatchedBWhileIWentIntoBirminghamCityCentre

Thanks Mum.

#TheTrainWasBusierThanLastTimeAndSeeingOtherKidsBeingPushedAroundInPushchairsMadeMeMissB

It felt weird to be out without B again. As I’ve said before I always say that I want some time off mothering, but then I miss B.

#INeedToFindTheCourageToTakeHerThereSometimeButIFeelABitWorried

I think the main thing is finding somewhere nice where we can get lunch – any suggestions dear one reader? And then timing things well for her nap. Soon she will be dropping a nap though so then maybe it will be a good time for trips?

If we were in Liverpool still I would be taking her to all of the museums and the city centre as we were so close to them.

#IHaveNotTakenHerThatFarAwayFromHomeByMyselfBeforeButIShouldTryToDoItSoon

Yeah, I’m nervous. Would be great to take her there though.

#InTwoWeeksTiagoWillHaveAWeekOffSoIAmLookingForwardToThat

His first week off since the start of October. Of course I’m excited!

#MaybeWeWillGoToBirminghamThenSoAtLeastItWillNotBeSoScaryAsTakingHerByMyself

Maybe we’ll go to the Sea Life Centre and get lunch?

#IWasSurprisedThatIPassedMyTestAsThereWereAFewThingsIKnewNothingAbout

I should have revised level crossings more obviously. I can’t remember the last time I saw one – I used to love them when I was a kid. There was one close to where we’d stay on holiday and we’d often just park near it and wait for trains. We sound so cool…

#NowIJustNeedToFindADrivingInstructorAndGetDrivingWhichIAmExcitedForButAlsoNervousAbout

*Nervous laugh*. It’ll be alright. I just want to get on with it, but I know there is a massive backlog for tests. I need to have a few lessons with a teacher then Tiago said he can take me out in his car. I’m nervous about that too.

#IQuicklyWentToAGalleryAfterwardsWhichWasMyFirstVisitToOneSinceMovingToBirmingham

I was not sure if I would have time to even get there as it was far from the test centre, but I managed it. I ate a pasty (classic) on the walk there.

#IHadToGetBackHomeToTakeBToHerBabyClassSoItWasASuperSpeedyVisit

If it wasn’t for Covid I could have left it, but I had to book a ticket and I had made a donation so I did not want to not go.

#TheNightBeforeMyTestBWasWakingUpEveryTwoHoursOrSoWhichSheNeverDoes

Of course it started as I put my head down to sleep.

#IThinkSheIsTeethingAndSheIsNotVeryWell

🙁

#TheOtherMorningSheFellAsleepOnMyNanLessThanAnHourAfterSheHadWokenUpWhichSheRarelyDoes

My Nan also fell asleep so they both looked cute.

#IAmFineAfterHavingAToothRemovedButNowTiagoHasAToothThatIsPlayingUp

Great. Typically he lost a filling on it (I think it’s that one) before the pandemic, and after months of me badgering him to get it looked at he did and they said it was fine as it was not causing him pain, then bam.

#HeManagedToGetToTheDentistYesterdayAndTheyGaveHimSomePenicillin

Bless him.

#IfWeManageToMakeItToPortugalThisSummerThenTiagosDentistCousinWillSortHimOut

I think he needs quite a few things done and the dentist yesterday said he should be able to make it until then.

#WeManagedToGetToBsClassOnTimeAndAfterwardsIThoughtSheWouldNotNapOnTheWayHome

She is such a wriggler at that class. Yesterday she was stealing everyone’s leaves.

#IHadPutHerHoodUpAndAfter5MinutesICheckedOnHerAndItWasAllTheWayDownToHerMouthAndSheWasAsleep

I was hoping to get home and then we could both nap, but she was obviously tired from waking up loads the night before.

#SheWasSleepingVeryHeavilyWhileIPushedHerAroundThenJustSatOnABench

Bless her. I will have to remember the hood trick in future.

#MyLegsWereLikeJellyAsIWasNotUsedToWalkingSoMuchInOneDay

I was knackered. Probably all the studying has been tiring my brain out too so no wonder I have been quite tired.

#LastNightIWasLyingDownOnTheFloorAndBCameOver #IThoughtWeWereGoingToHaveASweetMomentButSheStuckHerThumbUpMyNose

Lol.

#ItWasFunnyButItDidHurtAndMyNoseBledABit

It still hurts a little bit now… Tiago was on the phone to his friend so they were both just laughing.

#NextWeekIsHalfTermWhichMeansHerClassesAndGroupsWillNotBeRunning

Great…

#TheWeatherIsGettingBetterAtLeastSoHopefullyWeCanJustSitInTheParkMore

I want to find her a trike or something that I can push her around on.

#IAmYetToTryGoingToSoftPlayAgainButIShouldGiveTheOneWeHaveNotGoneToAChance

I am a bit worried about it being as disappointing as the other one. I just need to make some friends who want to go to soft play and try having lunch at one of them, but we shall have to see.

(26th July: We’re still yet to go to one… Sorry B.)


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Categories
Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Imitating B When She Gets Shy (23rd May 2021)

Imitating B When She Gets Shy (23rd May 2021)
 
#AtLeastIThinkItIsWhenSheIsShyOrIsPerhapsPretendingToBe
#OftenSheWillCrawlTowardsSomeoneAndThenSuddenlyHideABit
#SometimesSomeoneWillComeRoundToVisitAndSheWillBeReallyUpsetAboutIt
#ButAfterAWhileSheGetsOverItAndTheyAreHerNewBestFriend
#ButAtClassesSheWillJustCrawlOffAndLeaveMeInFrontOfLotsOfPeople
#ThenSheMightGetCloseToSomeoneAndPutHerHeadDownButSometimesNot
#WeSawSomeFriendsYesterdayAndThereWereTimesWhenSheWasBeingShy
#WeGotThereAndDidNotRealiseThatSheMustBeHeavilyTeethingAsSheWasNotReallyBeingHerself
#AtOnePointSheWentToTiagoToBeComfortedAndThenFellAsleepInHisArms
#ICanNotRememberTheLastTimeSheJustRandomlyFellAsleepOnEitherOfUs
#IWasGettingQuiteWorriedButSheSeemsToBeOkay
#ItWasGreatToSeeSomeOldFriendsAndTheirBaby
#ToCatchUpAndHaveAChangeOfSceneryAndToHaveTheKindOfTimeWithPeopleThatIThoughtWeWouldHaveHadALotMoreOfByNow
#OnTheWayThereWeStoppedAtAPetrolStationAndIThinkSheThoughtWeWereThereAlreadyAndGotQuiteExcited
#ItWasOurLongestCarTripSinceWeMovedToBirminghamNearlySevenMonthsAgo
#ItIsWeirdThatSheHasNowLivedInBirminghamLongerThanSheLivedInLiverpool
#ITriedToGetUsOutEveryWeekDayLastWeek
#ForFridayIWasLookingAtAllTheDifferentOptionsButOneSoldOutAsIWasAboutToBook
#InTheEndIDecidedWeWouldGoSomewhereElseButItJustRainedAllDay
#AndAfterBGotUpFromHerFirstNapICouldNotBeBotheredToGoOutInTheRain
#SoWeJustStayedInAllDayButItWasNotSoBadAsWeHadBeenOutALotAllWeek
#IDefinitelyNeedToDoThingsOnAThursdayAsThatIsTheDayThatDragsTheMost
#ItIsAShameThatTheLibraryIsNotOpenEveryDayAsThatWouldBeAnEasyPlaceToGo
#IAmHavingPhasesOfLookingAtBAndGettingEmotional
#IAmRealisingHowLuckyIAmToHaveHerEvenThoughIStillFindItWeirdThatIAmAMother
#InTheCarYesterdayIWasJustWatchingHerSleepAndFeelingVeryGratefulToHaveHer
#ICanNotImagineMyLifeWithoutHerNowAndThingsAreBetterNowThatMoreThingsAreOpen
#IDoNotLikeHowThisProjectHasBeenAMassiveWhinefestButItHasBeenMyPlaceToVentAndFeelBetter
#IDoFeelLikeNewParentsHaveBeenForgottenABitInThisPandemic
#IAmAnnoyedThatItHasAllBeenATotalPostcodeLotteryWithHowMuchSupportYouDoAndDoNotGet

#AtLeastIThinkItIsWhenSheIsShyOrIsPerhapsPretendingToBe

Some evolutionary thing where she feels like she needs to hide? (Though everyone can see where she is.)

#OftenSheWillCrawlTowardsSomeoneAndThenSuddenlyHideABit

She’ll crawl in the direction of someone, then they’ll say hi and then she’ll hide.

#SometimesSomeoneWillComeRoundToVisitAndSheWillBeReallyUpsetAboutIt

I think it is because the house and the garden are her safe space.

#ButAfterAWhileSheGetsOverItAndTheyAreHerNewBestFriend

That’s nice to see.

#ButAtClassesSheWillJustCrawlOffAndLeaveMeInFrontOfLotsOfPeople

So she doesn’t seem that shy at times?

#ThenSheMightGetCloseToSomeoneAndPutHerHeadDownButSometimesNot

Because they say hello. I guess her confidence goes up and down, but mine does too so I can relate. I wish I could suddenly hide my face when I felt awkward.

#WeSawSomeFriendsYesterdayAndThereWereTimesWhenSheWasBeingShy

Hiding on the floor or hiding behind Tiago or me.

#WeGotThereAndDidNotRealiseThatSheMustBeHeavilyTeethingAsSheWasNotReallyBeingHerself

She hadn’t eaten much breakfast, she slept well in the car – though it looked like she kept having nightmares and would wake up crying at times?

#AtOnePointSheWentToTiagoToBeComfortedAndThenFellAsleepInHisArms

She was coming to us a lot to be comforted which is usually the sign that she is ill. I just went downstairs and she is having cuddles with my Nan, which she doesn’t really do unless she is not feeling great – she’ll have short cuddles, but long cuddles is an under the weather thing.

#ICanNotRememberTheLastTimeSheJustRandomlyFellAsleepOnEitherOfUs

Monthsss ago.

#IWasGettingQuiteWorriedButSheSeemsToBeOkay

She only has one tooth and she has been teething for 7 months. It looks like another one may be close…

#ItWasGreatToSeeSomeOldFriendsAndTheirBaby #ToCatchUpAndHaveAChangeOfSceneryAndToHaveTheKindOfTimeWithPeopleThatIThoughtWeWouldHaveHadALotMoreOfByNow

It was how I expected the last 11 months to be really. Seeing friends, hanging out etc.

We still need to make more local friends, but with old friends it is easy. They know you, you know them, I feel like I don’t talk about my art with new people as I feel like they just wouldn’t get it. Fun times.

#OnTheWayThereWeStoppedAtAPetrolStationAndIThinkSheThoughtWeWereThereAlreadyAndGotQuiteExcited

Or she might have been excited to see Tiago getting out of the car. She was looking at the pumps quite intrigued though.

#ItWasOurLongestCarTripSinceWeMovedToBirminghamNearlySevenMonthsAgo

I was nervous, but we timed the trip around her naps so she napped for longer than normal but she seemed tired at bedtime and slept through the night? Win. Might be because she is ill though, but I think the trip was probably a lot for her to take in so might have tired her out.

#ItIsWeirdThatSheHasNowLivedInBirminghamLongerThanSheLivedInLiverpool

She’s still Scouse though.

#ITriedToGetUsOutEveryWeekDayLastWeek

And not just to the park, somewhere more ‘substantial’. Soft play, classes, playgroups etc.

#ForFridayIWasLookingAtAllTheDifferentOptionsButOneSoldOutAsIWasAboutToBook

I didn’t really want to go back to the soft play place that week, but I thought the weather was a bit crummy so it was a safe bet.

#InTheEndIDecidedWeWouldGoSomewhereElseButItJustRainedAllDay

I was trying to find somewhere to take her for lunch, but there didn’t seem like any good options and I didn’t really want to take her by myself.

#AndAfterBGotUpFromHerFirstNapICouldNotBeBotheredToGoOutInTheRain

I just felt really tired and the idea of pushing her for 20+ minutes in the rain did not appeal.

#SoWeJustStayedInAllDayButItWasNotSoBadAsWeHadBeenOutALotAllWeek

I wanted to take her for a walk in the afternoon, but it just rained all day and I couldn’t be bothered. Sorry B.

#IDefinitelyNeedToDoThingsOnAThursdayAsThatIsTheDayThatDragsTheMost

Thursday is ‘we still have to get through Friday before it’s the weekend’. Friday is ‘countdown to the weekend when T is free.’

#ItIsAShameThatTheLibraryIsNotOpenEveryDayAsThatWouldBeAnEasyPlaceToGo

It seems to just be open on days when we do other things, not the days where I wonder where we should go. Fail.

#IAmHavingPhasesOfLookingAtBAndGettingEmotional

Heart emoji.

#IAmRealisingHowLuckyIAmToHaveHerEvenThoughIStillFindItWeirdThatIAmAMother

It was funny to see our friends yesterday and comment about how we are all parents now.

#InTheCarYesterdayIWasJustWatchingHerSleepAndFeelingVeryGratefulToHaveHer

She is cool and I am looking forward to seeing her grow up. I feel bad that I have wished some of this time away but it has been hard.

#ICanNotImagineMyLifeWithoutHerNowAndThingsAreBetterNowThatMoreThingsAreOpen

I have just felt stuck for so long with not many options of what we can do to pass some time and make sure B gets proper stimulation.

#IDoNotLikeHowThisProjectHasBeenAMassiveWhinefestButItHasBeenMyPlaceToVentAndFeelBetter

I will forever feel awkward about it, but I have done my best during these weird times – and it’s not over yet.

#IDoFeelLikeNewParentsHaveBeenForgottenABitInThisPandemic #IAmAnnoyedThatItHasAllBeenATotalPostcodeLotteryWithHowMuchSupportYouDoAndDoNotGet

I guess it all depends on your support network, where you live, who you know etc. I am worried that we will have to go through a similar winter again, but at least B will be older and into more things. We shall have to see, but fingers crossed more things will be open for us this time.

I am excited for summer though. Roll on summer.


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Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Imitating B Using A Balloon As A Pillow (19th May 2021)

Imitating B Using A Balloon As A Pillow (19th May 2021)
 
#IHaveOnlySeenHerDoThisOnceButSheIsStartingToRestHerHeadOnThings
#TheFloorACushionMyLapThisBalloon
#HerPersonalitySeemsToBeDevelopingMoreEveryday
#SheIsSuddenlyTakingMoreOfAnInterestInDogsWhichMakesOurWalksMoreInteresting
#TheOtherDayWeMetUpWithAFriendForAPicnicAndADogKeptStealingTheirFood
#YesterdayIReadAnArticleAboutPeoplesHighsAndLowsOfHavingALockdownBaby
#ItReallyMadeMeFeelQuiteDownButIThinkNotHavingSleptMuchDidNotHelpEither
#IHaveStartedToStayUpTooLateAtNightButOftenICanNotSleep
#BGoesToBedAndIAmTiredButThenISuddenlyWakeUpAndWantMoreOfMyOwnTime
#IHaveJustBeenWastingMyTimeWatchingYoutubeVideosAndThings
#IAmFindingItHardToWriteTheseHashtagsTodayAndIThinkItIsBecauseIAmTired
#BWokeUpAtFiveFortyThisMorningButIPutTheHeatingOnInHerRoomAndWeThenHadToWakeHerUpAtSeven
#MyNansHouseIsUsuallyQuiteHotSoIThinkBIsQuiteUsedToTheHeatNow
#IWonderHowSheWillDealWithBeingOnHolidayInAMuchCoolerHouse
#IWouldRatherJustBeHavingANapRightNowButIFeelBadIfIDoNotDoThisProject
#IDoDebateHavingSomeTimeOffMyWorkButTheFeelingPassesAndIGetOnWithItAllAgain
#ITookBToSoftPlayTheOtherDayAndItWasNotAsGreatAsIHopedItWouldBe
#TheYoungKidsSectionWasABitSadAndPeopleGraduallyStoppedWearingTheirMasksWhichPissedMeOff
#IThinkABigPartOfItIsDownToWhoIsThereAtTheSameTimeAsYou
#EveryoneElseSeemedToBeThereWithSomeoneElseAndINeedToStopBeingAwkwardAboutTalkingToPeople
#ITookBOnTheSlideACoupleOfTimesThoughIThinkIFoundItMoreFunThanHer
#IWillProbablyEndUpTakingHerThereAgainSoonJustAsThereIsNotMuchElseAroundHereToDo
#IAmHopingToTryOutANewPlaygroupWithHer
#DueToThePandemicYouHaveToPrebookEverythingWhichIsNotGreatForSpontaneousPlans
#SomeGoodNewsIsThatTiagosPassportHasArrivedSoThatIsOneLessThingToWorryAbout
#ICutHisHairForTheThirdTimeTheOtherDayAndNowHisPassportPictureLooksNothingLikeHim
#HeShavedTooAndNowHeJustLooksLikeBsOlderBrother
#IAmTryingToGetBackIntoExercisingThoughIGenerallyDoSpeedUpMyStretchingVideos
#ToBeFairIHaveDoneThemAllSoManyTimesThatIDoNotNeedToHearTheLongExplanations
#IAmSoOverFeedingBNowThatITurnHerPorridgeIntoPancakes

#IHaveOnlySeenHerDoThisOnceButSheIsStartingToRestHerHeadOnThings

It is quite cute, though when I took her to soft play the other day she was just lying with her head on the floor and I felt like a few people were judging me as she looked like she was having a tantrum or something.

#TheFloorACushionMyLapThisBalloon

We have a lot of cushions around the living room to protect her from furniture and she will just chill on them a bit now.

#HerPersonalitySeemsToBeDevelopingMoreEveryday

I love when she laughs at things.

#SheIsSuddenlyTakingMoreOfAnInterestInDogsWhichMakesOurWalksMoreInteresting

There are a group of people who have been gathering on an area of grass with their dogs for months who I call ‘the dog club’ (very original), and now B likes to look at them all. I’m trying to get more comfortable with us stopping and looking at them, without feeling like a big weirdo.

#TheOtherDayWeMetUpWithAFriendForAPicnicAndADogKeptStealingTheirFood

Well B was stealing her friend’s food, and the dog was stealing food from both of them. The owners really didn’t seem that bothered. Thanks.

#YesterdayIReadAnArticleAboutPeoplesHighsAndLowsOfHavingALockdownBaby #ItReallyMadeMeFeelQuiteDownButIThinkNotHavingSleptMuchDidNotHelpEither

The article was on The Guardian. I was feeling alright and then after reading that I just felt rubbish. I really hope that B gets to meet T’s parents this summer… I had a long nap when B napped and I felt better.

#IHaveStartedToStayUpTooLateAtNightButOftenICanNotSleep

Last week I was not falling asleep for over an hour, so now I just stay up an hour later and then don’t fall asleep for another hour.

#BGoesToBedAndIAmTiredButThenISuddenlyWakeUpAndWantMoreOfMyOwnTime

It’s either go to bed early and feel alright in the morning, or stay up and feel good about having some time to myself and then feel grim in the morning. I do not like feeling tired, so I just need to suck it up and go to bed earlier.

#IHaveJustBeenWastingMyTimeWatchingYoutubeVideosAndThings

Watching highlights from comedy gameshows and watching RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under.

#IAmFindingItHardToWriteTheseHashtagsTodayAndIThinkItIsBecauseIAmTired

I feel so groggy, though I was feeling fine at 7 this morning.

#BWokeUpAtFiveFortyThisMorningButIPutTheHeatingOnInHerRoomAndWeThenHadToWakeHerUpAtSeven

Great. Yesterday she was awake at 5.30am and then didn’t go back to sleep, but then she had a long nap and so did I.

#MyNansHouseIsUsuallyQuiteHotSoIThinkBIsQuiteUsedToTheHeatNow

And as a result she likes her room to be quite warm. Downstairs is always hot, but upstairs isn’t.

#IWonderHowSheWillDealWithBeingOnHolidayInAMuchCoolerHouse

It’ll be fine. I’ll be more relaxed then hopefully as Tiago will be off and it’ll be lovely to spend some more time together as a family and with family.

#IWouldRatherJustBeHavingANapRightNowButIFeelBadIfIDoNotDoThisProject

Story of the last year of my life.

#IDoDebateHavingSomeTimeOffMyWorkButTheFeelingPassesAndIGetOnWithItAllAgain

Last week I was ready to stop posting on social media for a while and just keep making this project but with shortened hashtags. It’s part of the fun of being an artist right?

#ITookBToSoftPlayTheOtherDayAndItWasNotAsGreatAsIHopedItWouldBe

Le sigh. I was really hoping it would be the place that would save me from myself.

#TheYoungKidsSectionWasABitSadAndPeopleGraduallyStoppedWearingTheirMasksWhichPissedMeOff

Well maybe it wasn’t that sad, but for someone B’s age it was sad – the cooler stuff was too old for B.

When you go in someone says wear masks at all times unless you are sat down eating. I saw a guy with a mask not covering his nose walking around and then later he wasn’t even wearing it. I was sat in the young kids’ area close to a woman (it’s a small area) not wearing a mask and coughing.

#IThinkABigPartOfItIsDownToWhoIsThereAtTheSameTimeAsYou

People who put up with wearing a mask and those who don’t?

#EveryoneElseSeemedToBeThereWithSomeoneElseAndINeedToStopBeingAwkwardAboutTalkingToPeople

Basically I wanted to talk to people, but no one needed to talk to me. That’s fair enough.

#ITookBOnTheSlideACoupleOfTimesThoughIThinkIFoundItMoreFunThanHer

I saw other adults climbing up (I don’t know the rules of soft play alright) so I took her on that a few times. She was more interested in holding onto the netting at the side though.

#IWillProbablyEndUpTakingHerThereAgainSoonJustAsThereIsNotMuchElseAroundHereToDo

I’ll give it another go and see how it is.

(12th July: We’re still yet to go again. I’ve been put off it.)

#IAmHopingToTryOutANewPlaygroupWithHer

It’s when my Mum usually visits, but it might be where I meet some likeminded local people so I need to give it a go. We do know a few people now, but generally everyone is back at work and only has Friday off, and then they have plans with other people as they have lives and know other people.

#DueToThePandemicYouHaveToPrebookEverythingWhichIsNotGreatForSpontaneousPlans

I debated not booking the playgroup until the day, but I know that there will probably be no spaces on the day.

#SomeGoodNewsIsThatTiagosPassportHasArrivedSoThatIsOneLessThingToWorryAbout

Hurrah. It said 10 weeks, but I think it’s been 4? Not sure but it was definitely quick. B’s came a lot quicker than they said it would. I guess it’s so you don’t leave your application until the last minute.

Am I jealous of everyone on the news in Portugal already? Yes.

#ICutHisHairForTheThirdTimeTheOtherDayAndNowHisPassportPictureLooksNothingLikeHim

I think it was an alright cut.

#HeShavedTooAndNowHeJustLooksLikeBsOlderBrother

He commented on how young he looked first.

#IAmTryingToGetBackIntoExercisingThoughIGenerallyDoSpeedUpMyStretchingVideos

I am so lazy these days.

#ToBeFairIHaveDoneThemAllSoManyTimesThatIDoNotNeedToHearTheLongExplanations

I should have done this before. I had loads of YouTube comedy videos lined up but I knew I had to go to bed soon so I started to watch them faster. I’ve had to skip through RuPaul as there is no option on iPlayer to play them faster (shame – the feature is great on Netflix) as I need to go to bed, but I want to see what happens.

(12th July: I now use a plugin called ‘Video Speed Controller’. It’s great, and I can speed things up faster than Netflix allows.)

#IAmSoOverFeedingBNowThatITurnHerPorridgeIntoPancakes

A random ending but yes. I made her some porridge bars the other day, but they only feed her for two days and the porridge is healthier (it has butternut squash in it). I just add some flour (I used buckwheat the other day) and fry them. I made her a batch today, so I’ll do the porridge pancakes again for the next 4 days. To be fair they come more like porridge pancake blobs, but that’s fine.

(12th July: We no longer add the flour. We just fry the mix.)

Time to do a shoot and then get B up, if she doesn’t wake up before I finish.


Thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying my blog (and/or the work I make) please consider supporting me by ‘buying me a coffee’ on Ko-fi – thanks!

Categories
Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Imitating B Sucking Her Thumb (9th May 2021)

Imitating B Sucking Her Thumb (9th May 2021)
 
#WellMaybeSheIsSuckingHerThumbOrMaybeSheIsJustTeething
#TheTeethingSeemsLikeItWillNeverEndAndSheStillOnlyHasOneTooth
#IHaveJustNoticedHerSuckingHerThumbAndFlappingHerHandAroundInTheLastWeek
#SheHasBeenWakingUpBefore6LatelySoWeNeedToSeeWhatWeCanDoToPushHerWakeupTimeBack
#IJustSeemSuperTiredAtTheMomentAndMyTeethAreStillHurtingALot
#IbruprofenSeemsToTakeTheEdgeOffOfItButIThinkOneOfMyTeethNeedsToComeOut
#TiagoSaidIfIGetItOutThenEventuallyTheNextOneWillNeedToComeOutAndSoOnAndHowWillIEatWithNoTeeth
#IPointedOutThatBHasBeenDoingPrettyWellWithHerGumsForALongTime
#ItRainedAllDayYesterdayButIDidNotCareSoMuchAsItIsTheWeekend
#WeStillWentOutForAWalkAnywaysAndItWasQuiteNice
#PortugalIsCurrentlyOnTheGreenTravelListSoWeAreLookingAtBookingATrip
#ICanNotBelieveThatBIsNearlyAYearOldAndSheHasNotMetHerPortugueseGrandparentsYet
#WeJustHaveToHopeThatThingsDoNotGetWorseAndThatWeWillNotHaveToQuarantineInAHotel
#TheTripIsFaffyEnoughAsItIsLetAloneWithTravellingWithABabyWithCovidRestrictions
#ItIsAMinimumOfTwoFlightsToGetToHisHomeIslandSoItIsLookingForTripsThatDoNotHaveMegaLayovers
#MostOfTheFlightsAreEitherSuperEarlyInTheMorningOrTheyArriveBackLateAtNight
#WhichWouldNotBeSoBadIfTheyWereFromBirminghamButWeWillHaveToTravelToManchesterOrLondon
#AndItProbablyWillBeLondonAsTheyHaveFlightsThatLeaveAndArriveAtOkayishTimes
#IAmAlreadyFeelingStressedAboutHavingToGetToAndFromTheAirports
#PlusSortingOutTestingAndDealingWithDifferentAirlinesAndLuggage
#IShouldNotComplainAsIKnowWeAreLuckyToBeAbleToGoAway
#IfItWasNotForSeeingHisFamilyAndGoingToAWeddingAndHavingToSortOutThingsThereWeWouldJustLeaveItThough
#OrIGuessWeWouldHaveMaybeTriedALocationThatWasALotEasierToGetTo
#WeAlsoNeedToSortOutCotsAndCarSeatsAndHighchairsAndThingsSoThatIsMoreFunToLookAt
#IJustWantToSwimInTheSeaAndHaveAChangeOfScenery
#IDidNotBotherGoingToMyParentsHouseTheOtherDayAsICouldNotBeBotheredToPackUpAllOfBsThings
#ByTheTimeIHadFinishingVentingInMyPostAndBlogIFeltMuchBetter
#MyMumSaysSheIsSurprisedThatWeAllHaveNotArguedALotMoreThanWeHave
#ItIsNiceSeeingMyNanEveryDayAndIFeelGuiltyThatWeAreGoingAwayButItWillBeGoodForUsAll
#IJustHopeThatWeWillNotHaveToCancelOurTripAfterAllOfThisPlanningButLetsSee

#WellMaybeSheIsSuckingHerThumbOrMaybeSheIsJustTeething

I do not know for sure.

#TheTeethingSeemsLikeItWillNeverEndAndSheStillOnlyHasOneTooth

At this rate, this is going to go on for yearssss, then she will start losing baby teeth… Remembering the days of making my a loose tooth move with my tongue, and then feeling the empty space. Fun times.

#IHaveJustNoticedHerSuckingHerThumbAndFlappingHerHandAroundInTheLastWeek

I was going to write in these hashtags about being a fan of sucking my thumb until I was probably way too old for it, but I forgot. Well, now you know – all two of you who read this.

#SheHasBeenWakingUpBefore6LatelySoWeNeedToSeeWhatWeCanDoToPushHerWakeupTimeBack

We are not morning people B. I was reading a twitter thread the other day and someone’s advice for future parents was to meet someone who is the opposite to you – a night owl if you’re an early bird and vice versa. Tiago is better than me in the mornings, and I am more of an evening person, but we still like to sleep.

#IJustSeemSuperTiredAtTheMomentAndMyTeethAreStillHurtingALot

I could just lie in bed all day. Today I got up at 6.20am though, and did some cooking. Now B’s gone to bed I just want to get stuff done so I can have a little lie down, if she does not wake up before then.

#IbruprofenSeemsToTakeTheEdgeOffOfItButIThinkOneOfMyTeethNeedsToComeOut

I have an appointment at the dentist this week, though it’s just for a clean. My dentist said to have them cleaned and see if that helps with any pain. I’m guessing it won’t, but I’ll mention the pain to them when I’m there. It’s probably too late to get my tooth removed on my maternity exemption as that is due to expire in a month.

#TiagoSaidIfIGetItOutThenEventuallyTheNextOneWillNeedToComeOutAndSoOnAndHowWillIEatWithNoTeeth

I think four different teeth have been playing up this week, but the back one really has been and I know that one has a really deep filling. My dentist said it is protecting the next tooth along though, so once it goes that one will be at risk and so on.

#IPointedOutThatBHasBeenDoingPrettyWellWithHerGumsForALongTime

She’s my inspiration.

#ItRainedAllDayYesterdayButIDidNotCareSoMuchAsItIsTheWeekend

I feel less stuck at home when Tiago is looking after B a bit and I can do other things.

#WeStillWentOutForAWalkAnywaysAndItWasQuiteNice

The air was fresh and the paths were pretty empty. We did see a few border collies though…

#PortugalIsCurrentlyOnTheGreenTravelListSoWeAreLookingAtBookingATrip

Everyone has been messaging me to say have I seen it. Now we need to try to book a trip before everyone else does.

#ICanNotBelieveThatBIsNearlyAYearOldAndSheHasNotMetHerPortugueseGrandparentsYet

I wonder if she will recognise them from all the video calls. I know she will be a bit weird with them at first though.

#WeJustHaveToHopeThatThingsDoNotGetWorseAndThatWeWillNotHaveToQuarantineInAHotel

For the price of quarantining in a hotel we could just do the most epic UK trip instead. Fingers crossed that we don’t have to.

(21st June: Portugal is currently on the amber list. If it goes to red then we will cancel our trip – when I wrote this I didn’t realise how expensive hotel quarantines are.)

#TheTripIsFaffyEnoughAsItIsLetAloneWithTravellingWithABabyWithCovidRestrictions

I didn’t look forward to the travelling pre-baby.

#ItIsAMinimumOfTwoFlightsToGetToHisHomeIslandSoItIsLookingForTripsThatDoNotHaveMegaLayovers

I’m usually the one who organises our trips and does the research and at the moment I feel like a full-time travel agent.

#MostOfTheFlightsAreEitherSuperEarlyInTheMorningOrTheyArriveBackLateAtNight

Great with a baby. We once ‘slept’ on the floor at Heathrow to avoid paying for a hotel when we had a 6am flight (I didn’t sleep). B would be fine in her pushchair to be fair, but it’d be a longggg day.

#WhichWouldNotBeSoBadIfTheyWereFromBirminghamButWeWillHaveToTravelToManchesterOrLondon

Great.

#AndItProbablyWillBeLondonAsTheyHaveFlightsThatLeaveAndArriveAtOkayishTimes

It’s a ridiculous amount of money to put our car in the car park (let me know if you have any hints/tips) and we will have to fly in and out of different London airports by the look of it.

(21st June: Yeah we’re flying in and out of different airports.)

#IAmAlreadyFeelingStressedAboutHavingToGetToAndFromTheAirports

We are probably just going to have to get a super early train to London, so that we are not stressed about missing our flight. That’s not too bad as we are usually up early anyways (typically that would be the day that B would sleep in).

#PlusSortingOutTestingAndDealingWithDifferentAirlinesAndLuggage

And trying not to catch Covid in the run up to the holiday – though we’ve done well so far, but knowing our luck…

#IShouldNotComplainAsIKnowWeAreLuckyToBeAbleToGoAway

I’m sure a lot of people reading this will just be like ‘really you’re whining about all this?’ I think this is probably the opinion about most of my project though.

#IfItWasNotForSeeingHisFamilyAndGoingToAWeddingAndHavingToSortOutThingsThereWeWouldJustLeaveItThough

It’ll be nice when we’re there, but it is stress that we could do without. My tooth suddenly just started hurting again really bad, maybe it’s stress related?

#OrIGuessWeWouldHaveMaybeTriedALocationThatWasALotEasierToGetTo

Well someone that only needed one flight from Birmingham would be a lot better, but in reality I think we would just visit a lot of people in the UK instead.

#WeAlsoNeedToSortOutCotsAndCarSeatsAndHighchairsAndThingsSoThatIsMoreFunToLookAt

Travel highchair? Travel cot? Rent a car seat? Might just have to see if we can borrow these things from someone.

#IJustWantToSwimInTheSeaAndHaveAChangeOfScenery

It would be amazing. It will be amazing. Fingers crossed.

#IDidNotBotherGoingToMyParentsHouseTheOtherDayAsICouldNotBeBotheredToPackUpAllOfBsThings

Lol. You can see why I am struggling with the idea of packing for a holiday.

#ByTheTimeIHadFinishingVentingInMyPostAndBlogIFeltMuchBetter

And then felt super awkward. Classic me.

#MyMumSaysSheIsSurprisedThatWeAllHaveNotArguedALotMoreThanWeHave

For the record Tiago and my Nan never argue. Tiago is super patient with her and I need to be more like Tiago.

#ItIsNiceSeeingMyNanEveryDayAndIFeelGuiltyThatWeAreGoingAwayButItWillBeGoodForUsAll

We haven’t had time to ourselves since October. We will hopefully have a few days to ourselves as a family before going to stay with Tiago’s family.

#IJustHopeThatWeWillNotHaveToCancelOurTripAfterAllOfThisPlanningButLetsSee

It is what it is. We have to take the risk as it’s easier for us to go and see Tiago’s parents than for them to come here, and we have one of Tiago’s best friend’s wedding to go to. I hope it all works out.


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Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Imitating B Watching The Washing Machine (1st May 2021)

A washing machine is on, my right hand is on the window, you can see part of my face reflected in the metallic surface of the machine and my nose can be seen in the top left hand corner.
Imitating B Watching The Washing Machine (1st May 2021)
 
#IfWeCanNotFindBThereIsAGoodChanceThatSheIsByTheWashingMachine
#PressingAllTheButtonsToSeeIfSheCanGetThemToMakeASound
#IfICallHerAndSheDoesNotComeThenIUsuallyOpenTheDishwasherAndSheQuicklyAppears
#ThisMorningSheKnockedOverACupOfColdCoffeeAndTiagosLaptopScreenWillNotWork
#NotLongBeforeIHadMovedNansCupsAroundToDecreaseTheRiskOfKnockingThemOver
#ThenTiagoPutHisCupOnTheTableWithHisLaptopNearbyAndThereYouGo
#BsWordRangeHasIncreasedToHerJustSayingDadAllTheTimeNow
#SheWokeUpWithASnottyColdYesterdaySoItHasBeenFunChasingHerAroundAfterHerAllTheTimeWithATissue
#IHaveNotTakenHerForAWalkInTwoDaysButTheWeatherHasBeenQuiteRubbish
#WeWentToTheSupermarketLastNightWhichSeemsToBeOurNewWeeklyFamilyTime
#SheIsEatingMoreOfOurMealsNowAndFeedingHerselfMoreWhichIsNice
#ItJustMakesThingsSoMuchEasier
#IAmLookingForwardToMoreThingsReopeningLikeSoftPlayPlaces
#ItWillBeNiceToTakeHerOutToFunActivitiesAndItIsBetterNowThatIAmConfidentAboutHerEatingOutsideTheHouse
#TheOtherDayWeWereAllInTheBathroomAndBStoodUpFromTheFloorWithoutHoldingOntoAnything
#ItMightHaveBeenBecauseSheWasSoBoredInThereButSheDidItAFewTimes
#MyNanSaidSheDidItYesterdayInTheLivingRoomButItIsNotARegularThingYet
#InOtherNewsIHaveBookedADrivingTheoryTest
#IHaveNotTriedToDriveSince2010WhenIWasTryingToPassMyTestBeforeMovingToLondon
#IRanOutOfTimeAndDueToNotNeedingToDriveInLondonAndConfidenceIssuesIDidNotKeepItUp
#IHaveThoughtAboutItOverTheYearsIncludingWhenWeLivedInLiverpool
#InLiverpoolIWentSoFarAsToBuyATheoryAppButNeverEvenOpenedIt
#ThenAfterBWasBornISaidIWantedToLearnToDriveButThenThePandemicHasDraggedOn
#LessonsHaveStartedUpAgainNowButNoOneHasAvailabilityAtTheMoment
#AndAllOfTheTestCentresAreFullyBookedUntilOctoberApparently
#ARidiculousNumberOfPeopleAreWaitingToTakeTheirTests
#SoIMightAsWellGetTheTheoryPartDoneAndThenTryToGetLessonsWhenICan
#IFeelLikeIAmRubbishWithSpatialAwarenessAndManoeuvresButIMightHaveMagicallyGainedSomeSkillsIn10PlusYearsOfNotDriving
#IThinkConfidenceIsABigPartOfItAllAndIDidNotHaveMuchThatLongAgo
#TiagoSaysHeFindsItWeirdThatISayIDoNotHaveTheConfidenceToDriveButCanTalkInFrontOf100PlusPeople

(6th June: A bit of a different picture. No flash as the space is too small to have my usual softbox, I’ve messed so many times with the colour of the image and it’s probably still wrong. Debated cropping my nose out but I quite like it.)

#IfWeCanNotFindBThereIsAGoodChanceThatSheIsByTheWashingMachine

It is usually the first place I look if I’ve turned my back and she’s crawled off.

#PressingAllTheButtonsToSeeIfSheCanGetThemToMakeASound

Changing the temperature, changing the spin, pausing it, trying to get any reaction from it.

#IfICallHerAndSheDoesNotComeThenIUsuallyOpenTheDishwasherAndSheQuicklyAppears

I might have mentioned it before. If she doesn’t respond to the noise of it opening then you know she is really engrossed by something.

#ThisMorningSheKnockedOverACupOfColdCoffeeAndTiagosLaptopScreenWillNotWork

Whoops.

#NotLongBeforeIHadMovedNansCupsAroundToDecreaseTheRiskOfKnockingThemOver

Nan likes to put her cups/glasses on a table mat and B likes to just pull the mat and anything that is on it. I am often monitoring the room for things that B can knock over.

#ThenTiagoPutHisCupOnTheTableWithHisLaptopNearbyAndThereYouGo

I was making dance videos so I wasn’t in the room to see the cup/B going towards it. Fail.

#BsWordRangeHasIncreasedToHerJustSayingDadAllTheTimeNow

I mainly just hear Dada and Dad all day.

#SheWokeUpWithASnottyColdYesterdaySoItHasBeenFunChasingHerAroundAfterHerAllTheTimeWithATissue

I could have imitated how B looked when she woke up yesterday morning, but it wouldn’t have been very delightful – dried snot on her nose.

#IHaveNotTakenHerForAWalkInTwoDaysButTheWeatherHasBeenQuiteRubbish

And I’ve been tired. Plus with her cold I did not really want to take her out yesterday. When I thought about taking her out it rained…

#WeWentToTheSupermarketLastNightWhichSeemsToBeOurNewWeeklyFamilyTime

Though we need to start planning meals the night before, not just as we are about to leave/are in the car.

#SheIsEatingMoreOfOurMealsNowAndFeedingHerselfMoreWhichIsNice

I try to make most meals be things where she can feed herself now. Yesterday I tried to turn her porridge into pancakes. They didn’t turn out as well as I hoped but they still tasted good and B fed herself.

#ItJustMakesThingsSoMuchEasier

It’s nice to get on and do other things like clean up, make food, eat etc while she eats.

#IAmLookingForwardToMoreThingsReopeningLikeSoftPlayPlaces

I have been looking at places to take her.

#ItWillBeNiceToTakeHerOutToFunActivitiesAndItIsBetterNowThatIAmConfidentAboutHerEatingOutsideTheHouse

A lot of kids places have cafes so we can get lunch there. It’ll be nice to have a change of scenery.

#TheOtherDayWeWereAllInTheBathroomAndBStoodUpFromTheFloorWithoutHoldingOntoAnything

I was super surprised.

#ItMightHaveBeenBecauseSheWasSoBoredInThereButSheDidItAFewTimes

We were just brushing our teeth and chilling while she watched us.

#MyNanSaidSheDidItYesterdayInTheLivingRoomButItIsNotARegularThingYet

She can not stand up for very long by herself yet but she is getting there.

#InOtherNewsIHaveBookedADrivingTheoryTest

I was going to try to study without booking a test yet, but I needed to book it as otherwise there would be no incentive to study.

#IHaveNotTriedToDriveSince2010WhenIWasTryingToPassMyTestBeforeMovingToLondon #IRanOutOfTimeAndDueToNotNeedingToDriveInLondonAndConfidenceIssuesIDidNotKeepItUp

I can not remember how many tests I failed. I tried to learn a few years before that too, but never did a test or my theory back then.

Now I’m kicking myself for not just trying to pass in London, but when I first moved there I was too scared to even get on a bus.

#IHaveThoughtAboutItOverTheYearsIncludingWhenWeLivedInLiverpool

I should have just done it as soon as I moved there. Oh well.

#InLiverpoolIWentSoFarAsToBuyATheoryAppButNeverEvenOpenedIt

Luckily I have it for now and it seems good. I have forgotten most of what I learned 10 years ago, but the test seems quite easy to revise for.

#ThenAfterBWasBornISaidIWantedToLearnToDriveButThenThePandemicHasDraggedOn

We went to a garden party and just before we went in I randomly said ‘I want to learn to drive’. It was during the early days of B when I was randomly feeling confident.

#LessonsHaveStartedUpAgainNowButNoOneHasAvailabilityAtTheMoment

I messaged 4 people.

#AndAllOfTheTestCentresAreFullyBookedUntilOctoberApparently

Great.

#ARidiculousNumberOfPeopleAreWaitingToTakeTheirTests

This article says 420,000 people are waiting for tests. How many of thoes people will need to retake the test?

#SoIMightAsWellGetTheTheoryPartDoneAndThenTryToGetLessonsWhenICan

I’d like to have a few lessons before I try to learn with Tiago – just to gain a bit of confidence by being in a car with dual controls first.

#IFeelLikeIAmRubbishWithSpatialAwarenessAndManoeuvresButIMightHaveMagicallyGainedSomeSkillsIn10PlusYearsOfNotDriving

I doubt it, but hopefully things will make more sense this time round.

#IThinkConfidenceIsABigPartOfItAllAndIDidNotHaveMuchThatLongAgo

I just need to not care what other people in their car think of me, and just get on with it.

#TiagoSaysHeFindsItWeirdThatISayIDoNotHaveTheConfidenceToDriveButCanTalkInFrontOf100PlusPeople

When I started to do improv comedy I thought something similar. It’s a skill that I’ll need in the future and it’ll make my life easier, so I’ll just try to do it asap. Not long ago I debated finding a TV show that was looking for learner drivers – I just had a search online and apparently a woman took 26 tests before she passed. That’ll be me…


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Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Imitating B Chewing On A Wet Flannel (28th April 2021)

Me with my hair up, holding a light blue flannel in both hands and putting part of it in my mouth. I am wearing a grey dress with black polka dots and am sat against a plain wall.
Imitating B Chewing On A Wet Flannel (28th April 2021)
 
#IAmSurprisedThatIsHasTakenMeThisLongToGetRoundToImitatingBChewingOnAWetFlannel
#AfterAMealIUsuallyWetAFlannelATryToWashHerFace
#HoweverSheJustWantsToChewOnItAsIGuessItMustFeelNiceForHerEverTeethingGums
#IBetWhenSheIsOlderBWillCallMeOutChoosingNotToShowHerFullFaceButDecidingToShareThingsLikeThis
#FairPlayFutureB
#SheHasStartedToSayGaGaMoreNow
#YesterdayWeGotSentAQuestionnaireToFillInAboutHerDevelopment
#AHealthVisitorWouldUsuallyVisitHerAround9To12MonthsToDoItButBecauseOfCovidTheyAreNotDoingItFaceToFace
#ThereAreQuestionsAboutCommunicationGrossMotorSkillsFineMotorSkillsProblemSolvingPersonalSkillsAndSocialSkills
#IThinkBNowDoesMostOfTheThingsThatItTalksAboutButIAmWorriedAboutFillingItInWrong
#ItIsShameThatSomeoneCanNotJustComeRoundAndDoItButIDoNotHaveAnyConcernsAboutHer
#LastWeekIWasWorriedThatSheWasTooHotInTheNightAndNowIThinkSheHasBeenTooCold
#SheWasAwakeForAnHourAndAHalfTheOtherNightButWentBackToSleepAfterIPutHerHeaterOn
#ItWasEitherThatThatFixedItOrItWasACoincidence
#IGotABitEmotionalYesterdaySeeingBHavingFunWithBabiesHerOwnAge
#WeHadAPicnicWithAMotherAndBabyFromOneOfHerClassesAndItWasReallyNice
#ThenSheWasJustCrawlingAroundAndInteractingWithBabiesInHerClass
#ThisIsHowItShouldHaveBeenTheWholeTimeSheHasBeenAliveButOhWell
#TheTeacherSaidThatTheyLearnTheConceptOfSharingAtFourWhichWeAllSighedAt
#ButReadingOnlineAnArticleSaysTheyReallyWantThingsToBeFairByTheTimeTheyAreSevenOrEight
#SoPlentyMoreYearsOfApologisingForBGrabbingToysAwayFromOtherKidsGreat
#MyAuntCameRoundToVisitUsAndBWasNotHappyAboutIt
#ThoughAgainAfterAWhileSheWasFineInHerCompanySoItIsGoodToKnowItIsJustAboutPerseverance
#IWasFeelingABitDownTheOtherDayAgainAndThenIRealisedThatTiagoHasNotHadAWeekOffSinceTheStartOfOctober
#NoWonderWeAreAllTired
#HeHasFinallyBookedAWeekOffInAMonthOrSoSoItIsNiceToHaveSomethingToCountDownTo
#INeedToWorkToBeMorePresentWhenIAmWithB
#ICompletedASurveyAboutSocialMediaTheOtherDayAndItAskedMeAboutMyMoodsWhenUsingIt
#IWasReallyNegativeAboutAllOfItSoINeedToUseItAndMyPhoneALotLess
#IWantToBeABetterMotherToBAndIWantToFeelHappier

#IAmSurprisedThatIsHasTakenMeThisLongToGetRoundToImitatingBChewingOnAWetFlannel

She has been doing it for a while.

#AfterAMealIUsuallyWetAFlannelATryToWashHerFace

Pretty standard.

#HoweverSheJustWantsToChewOnItAsIGuessItMustFeelNiceForHerEverTeethingGums

It makes sense. Yesterday she tried to teeth on my arm and it just hurt because of her one little sharp tooth.

#IBetWhenSheIsOlderBWillCallMeOutChoosingNotToShowHerFullFaceButDecidingToShareThingsLikeThis

Probably. I do wonder what she will think of this project, I do worry what she will think of this project. I hope she just finds it funny.

#FairPlayFutureB

I would say it’s your own fault for chewing on a flannel all the time, but you’ll probably just say ‘Mum, I was a baby I didn’t know any better!’

Fair play future B.

#SheHasStartedToSayGaGaMoreNow

Did I play Radio Ga Ga a few times this morning after B said it? Yes I did.

#YesterdayWeGotSentAQuestionnaireToFillInAboutHerDevelopment #AHealthVisitorWouldUsuallyVisitHerAround9To12MonthsToDoItButBecauseOfCovidTheyAreNotDoingItFaceToFace #ThereAreQuestionsAboutCommunicationGrossMotorSkillsFineMotorSkillsProblemSolvingPersonalSkillsAndSocialSkills #IThinkBNowDoesMostOfTheThingsThatItTalksAboutButIAmWorriedAboutFillingItInWrong

All the questions. It is a bit stressful. I started to do it, but I will wait until the weekend when Tiago is available to assess too.

#ItIsShameThatSomeoneCanNotJustComeRoundAndDoItButIDoNotHaveAnyConcernsAboutHer

It says if they don’t hear from us in 2 weeks then they will assume we have no worries.

(1st June: I didn’t bother finishing it in in the end as I was so pissed off that our friends in Liverpool have health visitors coming to them, and I don’t have any concerns about B’s development anyways.)

#LastWeekIWasWorriedThatSheWasTooHotInTheNightAndNowIThinkSheHasBeenTooCold

The joy never ends.

#SheWasAwakeForAnHourAndAHalfTheOtherNightButWentBackToSleepAfterIPutHerHeaterOn #ItWasEitherThatThatFixedItOrItWasACoincidence

We’d changed her nappy, given her paracetamol, given her water etc. Her room didn’t feel that cold, but it was 5am and we wanted to sleep so I thought it was worth a go.

#IGotABitEmotionalYesterdaySeeingBHavingFunWithBabiesHerOwnAge

I got a bit emotional writing this and thinking about it again.

#WeHadAPicnicWithAMotherAndBabyFromOneOfHerClassesAndItWasReallyNice

Just a normal thing that felt like a big deal.

#ThenSheWasJustCrawlingAroundAndInteractingWithBabiesInHerClass

I felt like we were sat in the cheeky corner as they were all just getting up to mischief. There are a lot of younger babies and B was looking at them, which was sweet.

#ThisIsHowItShouldHaveBeenTheWholeTimeSheHasBeenAliveButOhWell

I know a couple of them are starting nursery soon, so we’ll need to find some new friends in the class. People seem nice though so I’m sure it will be fine. The class is great and we all have a laugh which is really good.

#TheTeacherSaidThatTheyLearnTheConceptOfSharingAtFourWhichWeAllSighedAt

Sighed and groaned and lots of other negative reactions.

#ButReadingOnlineAnArticleSaysTheyReallyWantThingsToBeFairByTheTimeTheyAreSevenOrEight

I remember being about 6 in the playground and being like ‘Who wants to play Aladdin? I’ll be Jasmine.’ Someone would complain. ‘Okay, let’s play Beauty and the Beast. I’ll be Belle’. Then we moved and I became the shy kid.

#SoPlentyMoreYearsOfApologisingForBGrabbingToysAwayFromOtherKidsGreat

Luckily they don’t seem to mind about it so much yet.

#MyAuntCameRoundToVisitUsAndBWasNotHappyAboutIt

She was CRYING. Trying to look at her, then hiding and crying.

#ThoughAgainAfterAWhileSheWasFineInHerCompanySoItIsGoodToKnowItIsJustAboutPerseverance

It did take some time, but I guess she realises that we aren’t concerned and so feels fine. At classes she will go and sit next to someone else and forget about me, but I guess my Nan’s house and garden is her territory so she doesn’t like other people randomly coming along. Fair enough.

#IWasFeelingABitDownTheOtherDayAgainAndThenIRealisedThatTiagoHasNotHadAWeekOffSinceTheStartOfOctober #NoWonderWeAreAllTired

I can’t believe it’s been that long, but it does feel like forever ago.

#HeHasFinallyBookedAWeekOffInAMonthOrSoSoItIsNiceToHaveSomethingToCountDownTo

It’ll be nice to do some things as a family and B will be older so she will probably appreciate going to a farm or something. She does seem to like animals, but so do most kids her age I imagine.

#INeedToWorkToBeMorePresentWhenIAmWithB

I complain about being a bad mother, but I need to work on being better. It’s hard when I am tired, but I feel better when I feel like she is enjoying herself.

#ICompletedASurveyAboutSocialMediaTheOtherDayAndItAskedMeAboutMyMoodsWhenUsingIt #IWasReallyNegativeAboutAllOfItSoINeedToUseItAndMyPhoneALotLess

I had already decided that I was going to go on Instagram less and that just showed why I should go on it less. I really get little from it, which seems weird to say considering this whole project is built around the maximum number of hashtags that you can post on a post on Instagram.

#IWantToBeABetterMotherToBAndIWantToFeelHappier

I am tired and B will hopefully nap for another hour. I think I’m going to play a game of online Minesweeper then have a little rest and read a bit of the fourth Narnia book. I should probably just do the shoot now, but I might wait until B is having her second nap.

(1st June: I think B woke up 5 minutes after I finishing writing this, and I did the shoot during her second nap.)


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Categories
Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Imitating B’s New Cheeky Grin, Though She Does Not Have A Mouth Full Of Bad Teeth (24th March 2021)

Me with a big grin, trying to imitate B.
Imitating B’s New Cheeky Grin, Though She Does Not Have A Mouth Full Of Bad Teeth (24th March 2021)
 
#TheOtherDayINoticedThatBHadANewCheekyGrin
#IMadeAVideoOfItAndShowedItToHerThenSheWasGrinningBackAtHerself
#ThinkingAboutItSheHasNotReallyDoneItSinceThenButSheDoesSeemToDoNewThingsAndForgetAboutThemForABit
#MyMumSaysSheIsImitatingMeWhenIDoItButIAmNotAwareOfMyselfDoingIt
#WeAreJustConstantlyOnBWatchNowAsSheSeemsToBumpHerHeadAMillionTimesADay
#LuckilyBabiesSeemQuiteResilientWhichIsGoodAsOtherwiseIDoNotThinkAnyoneWouldMakeItToAdulthood
#HerToothIsStillYetToBreakThroughAndSheLikesToWakeUpAtAround11pmInPain
#LastNightTAndIWereBothSoTiredThatWeHopedItWasJustARandomWakeUp
#OfCourseIWasJustStartingToDriftOffWhenSheWokeUp
#EventuallyTiagoWentAndGaveHerSomeTeethingGelWhichSeemedToWork
#IShouldHaveJustGotUpSoonerAndDoneItAndNowIFeelQuiteGuilty
#NowIAmActuallyLookingForwardToTheClocksChangingAsIHopeWeCanGetBBackToWakingUpAt7
#OftenWhenISeePicturesOfOtherPeopleBreastfeedingIFeelBadThatOurBreastfeedingJourneyEndedEarlierThanIPlanned
#ButBReallyDidNotWantToDoItSoItMadeSenseToStop
#WeCompletedOurCensusTheOtherDayAndItWasQuiteExcitingToPutBOnThere
#HopefullyIn100YearsTimeWeWillHaveRelativesWhoAreInterestedInUs
#AndTheyWillBeAbleToFindUsLivingWithNan
#IAmDefinitelyGladThatWeMoved
#IThinkIWouldBeStrugglingALotIfWeStillLivedInLiverpoolAsWeWouldNotHaveSoMuchSupport
#IWouldNotBeAbleToHaveTheJobThatIAmDoingAtTheMomentOrAtLeastNotBeAbleToDoItInTheSameWay
#ItHasBeenNiceToGoOutThoughMyLegsFeelABitLikeJellyAfterWalkingSoMuchYesterday
#ItIsGoodThatBIsUsedToMyMumAsSheDoesNotSeemToMindWhenIGoOut
#ItIsEarlyDaysSoThatMightChangeButSheIsQuiteHappyClingingToMyMumDuringABadTeethingMoment
#IHopeItDoesNotRainMuchOnFutureWorkDaysAsThatWillMakeItNotSoGreat
#IFeelPositiveWithGettingOutMoreThoughAndNextWeekWeShouldBeAbleToSitInOtherPeoplesGardens
#AndSoonBabyClassesWillReopenAgainWhichIAmGreatlyLookingForwardTo
#FriendsInDifferentAreasHaveAlreadyBeenGoingToGroupsAndHaveBeenAbleToHangOut
#IWantBToHaveSomeFriendsThatSheCanCrawlAroundWithAndDoThingsThatSheHasBeenMissingOutOn
#LuckilySheDoesNotKnowSheIsMissingOutButHopefullySheWillNotHaveToMissOutAgainThoughIAmNotThatOptimisticAboutItAll
#IAmGladIHaveTheDentistSoonAsOneOfMyTeethIsStartingToPlayUp

(18th April 2021: I debated changing the title today, but there needs to be some comment in it about B not having so many teeth, and my teeth are bad so I guess it’s accurate. I do feel a bit awkward about it, but I guess that’s why my solo show last year was called Always Awkward.

#TheOtherDayINoticedThatBHadANewCheekyGrin

It made me cry a bit as I thought it was so sweet.

#IMadeAVideoOfItAndShowedItToHerThenSheWasGrinningBackAtHerself

Adorable.

#ThinkingAboutItSheHasNotReallyDoneItSinceThenButSheDoesSeemToDoNewThingsAndForgetAboutThemForABit

Yeah this happens a lot. I showed her the video again earlier, but she didn’t do it.

#MyMumSaysSheIsImitatingMeWhenIDoItButIAmNotAwareOfMyselfDoingIt

I guess it’s hard when you can’t see yourself all of the time – not that I’d want to anyways.

#WeAreJustConstantlyOnBWatchNowAsSheSeemsToBumpHerHeadAMillionTimesADay

She currently has two little red marks on her head at the moment. One is from her bumping her head on her box of eggs and the other one could be from a million other incidents.

#LuckilyBabiesSeemQuiteResilientWhichIsGoodAsOtherwiseIDoNotThinkAnyoneWouldMakeItToAdulthood

I probably should look at a baby first aid course. It has been on my list of things to do – I need to get on it.

#HerToothIsStillYetToBreakThroughAndSheLikesToWakeUpAtAround11pmInPain

🙁 I knew I was never going to look forward to the teething phase. Why can’t it just hurry up and appear. We still have lots of other teeth to deal with…

#LastNightTAndIWereBothSoTiredThatWeHopedItWasJustARandomWakeUp

‘She might just go back to sleep soon.’ She did settle for a bit, then as we were falling back to sleep she started again.

#OfCourseIWasJustStartingToDriftOffWhenSheWokeUp

T was already asleep. I need to start reading books again as otherwise my brain doesn’t switch off well…

#EventuallyTiagoWentAndGaveHerSomeTeethingGelWhichSeemedToWork

We hadn’t been using it much before, but it’s our new best friend.

#IShouldHaveJustGotUpSoonerAndDoneItAndNowIFeelQuiteGuilty

Bad parent. We live and learn…

#NowIAmActuallyLookingForwardToTheClocksChangingAsIHopeWeCanGetBBackToWakingUpAt7

Doubt it, but I hope so. Her naps still seem to be a bit here and there too.

#OftenWhenISeePicturesOfOtherPeopleBreastfeedingIFeelBadThatOurBreastfeedingJourneyEndedEarlierThanIPlanned

A random jump, but it’s on my notes to jog my memory about what I might want to talk about.

#ButBReallyDidNotWantToDoItSoItMadeSenseToStop

I probably upset people with my breastfeeding pictures, as they might not have been able to breastfeed or their journey ended earlier than they thought it might too.

I definitely think people should keep sharing their photos, but it just reminds me that I am sad about it all.

#WeCompletedOurCensusTheOtherDayAndItWasQuiteExcitingToPutBOnThere #HopefullyIn100YearsTimeWeWillHaveRelativesWhoAreInterestedInUs #AndTheyWillBeAbleToFindUsLivingWithNan

I do think about things like our family tree a bit. Will our line continue? Maybe, maybe not. Hopefully some distant relative will be interested in us though.

#IAmDefinitelyGladThatWeMoved

I do miss Liverpool but the winter would have been tough.

#IThinkIWouldBeStrugglingALotIfWeStillLivedInLiverpoolAsWeWouldNotHaveSoMuchSupport

Obviously there are people out there who have been through this pandemic with so little support. We would have just got on with it, but I think we would have probably ending up moving somewhere – even just the other side of Liverpool. We didn’t live near any parks, which was a big thing that I felt we were missing.

#IWouldNotBeAbleToHaveTheJobThatIAmDoingAtTheMomentOrAtLeastNotBeAbleToDoItInTheSameWay

At the moment I am spreading out my hours over multiple days so my Mum or Tiago can look after her. She would have either had to go to nursery which would have cancelled out what I was earning or Tiago would have had to look after her all weekend.

#ItHasBeenNiceToGoOutThoughMyLegsFeelABitLikeJellyAfterWalkingSoMuchYesterday

My shoulders are also a bit sore, so I have been trying to roll them out a lot.

#ItIsGoodThatBIsUsedToMyMumAsSheDoesNotSeemToMindWhenIGoOut #ItIsEarlyDaysSoThatMightChangeButSheIsQuiteHappyClingingToMyMumDuringABadTeethingMoment

If she was upset I’m sure she’d get over it soon but I’d feel guilty, though it’s good for us to let me go and do my own thing for a bit.

#IHopeItDoesNotRainMuchOnFutureWorkDaysAsThatWillMakeItNotSoGreat

It has just finished raining. I’m not supposed to talk about my job on social media, so this is why I am quite vague.

#IFeelPositiveWithGettingOutMoreThoughAndNextWeekWeShouldBeAbleToSitInOtherPeoplesGardens

I thought the 29th March was a Sunday, but nope it’s a Monday.

Will people probably be sat in gardens this weekend anyways? Probably.

#AndSoonBabyClassesWillReopenAgainWhichIAmGreatlyLookingForwardTo

Hurrah.

#FriendsInDifferentAreasHaveAlreadyBeenGoingToGroupsAndHaveBeenAbleToHangOut

A know one friend goes to an outdoors group and other friends go to a playgroup. I still don’t know when a playgroup will open near us. Am I jealous? Yes. Am I dealing with it? Yes. I have a big distraction with work now, and by the time I finish that job hopefully lots more things will be open.

#IWantBToHaveSomeFriendsThatSheCanCrawlAroundWithAndDoThingsThatSheHasBeenMissingOutOn

We’ve bumped into a Mum and her kids a couple of times this week, so it’s been nice for B to see a baby her own age.

#LuckilySheDoesNotKnowSheIsMissingOutButHopefullySheWillNotHaveToMissOutAgainThoughIAmNotThatOptimisticAboutItAll

It sounds like things are getting bad again. Hopefully we can be smarter as a country about things this time. The other day we realised that we might not be able to see Tiago’s family this summer. We don’t fancy throwing money down the drain as the logistics are complicated, so we’ll just have to wait and see.

#IAmGladIHaveTheDentistSoonAsOneOfMyTeethIsStartingToPlayUp

A random end, but yes this tooth is playing me up so I’m glad I can get it looked at soon.


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Imitating B Inspecting Dirt On The Floor (21st March 2021)

Me low to the ground in a stripey dress touching a piece of dirt on the carpet.
Imitating B Inspecting Dirt On The Floor (21st March 2021)
 
#NothingGetsPastBTheseDays
#EspeciallyAnyBitOfDirtOnTheFloorThatSheIsQuickToPickUp
#SheIsSoFastAndWeBreatheASighOfReliefWhenSheSitsStillForAMinute
#ThisWeekHasBeenMyBusiestWeekSinceSheWasBornIThink
#AndOfCourseItCoincidedWithBsFirstToothStartingToCutThroughHerGums
#ItIsDay6AndIDoNotThinkItHasBrokenTheSurfaceYet
#AWomanAtTheParkSaidItCanTakeUpToAMonthForAToothToFullyAppear
#WeHaveStartedToBrushBsTeethOrRatherGumsToGetHerUsedToUsDoingIt
#HerToothpasteIsFor0To2YearOldsButItSaysTheyShouldSpitItOut
#BHasBeenLaughingAtMeShowingHerHowToSpitItOutButIDoNotThinkItMattersThatMuch
#HerNapsHaveGenerallyBeenALotShorterAndSheUsuallyWakesUpAt6amNow
#IHaveBeenWorkingUntil11ishQuiteALotButThenItTakesSoLongForMyBrainToSwitchOff
#WeManagedOneEpisodeOfAShowForDateNightLastNightThenWeWentToBedAt10
#IAmDreadingTheClocksChangingNextWeekendThoughIAmLookingForwardToLighterEvenings
#YesterdayIHadPortfolioReviewsAndWorkWorkToDoSoTiagoLookedAfterBForMostOfTheDay
#IWasReadingSomethingAboutTheSuccessOfAFemaleArtistAfterHavingKidsSeemsToCorrelateToHowSupportiveTheirPartnerIs
#IFeelLuckyThatTiagoIsSupportiveOfItAllAsOtherwiseItWouldBeHarderToGetThingsDone
#ForTheNextMonthOrSoIWillBeOutALotMoreWorkingWhichMeansLessTimeForMyOwnStuffSoWeWillSeeHowThatAllGoes
#AKidAtTheParkTheOtherDayCameOverAndStartedToPushBInTheSwing
#SheDidNotKnowWhatToMakeOfItAndIWasAlsoABitUnsureOfWhatToDo
#IDoNowKnowHowToTalkToKids
#TheOtherDayICriedAsIHadQuiteATenderMomentWithB
#SheWasInspectingMyFingersWithGreatCareAndWasLaughingAtMeRaisingMyEyebrowsUpAndDown
#SheAlsoHasANewCheekyGrinWhichIsSuperAdorable
#SheLikesToPlayWithTheBalloonsThatWeBlewUpForOneOfHerBabyClasses
#SheIsYetToUnderstandThatTheyCanPopAndIAmNotLookingForwardToTheDayThatTheyDo
#RecentlySheWasReallyDiggingHerFingersIntoItAndIHatedTheNoise
#IQuicklyPutMyHandsOverMyEarsAndSheAlsoFoundThatHilarious
#INeedToDoSomeResearchIntoWhatSoundsAllAnimalsMake
#ForExampleWhatSoundDoesAGiraffeMake

#NothingGetsPastBTheseDays

I feel like I have a completely different baby to a month ago.

#EspeciallyAnyBitOfDirtOnTheFloorThatSheIsQuickToPickUp

Though I do love when she goes for the tiny hole in the kitchen floor that she thinks is dirt, but obviously can’t pick up.

#SheIsSoFastAndWeBreatheASighOfReliefWhenSheSitsStillForAMinute

Tiago looked after her a lot yesterday and said that she never stops. I was like ‘welcome to my week’.

#ThisWeekHasBeenMyBusiestWeekSinceSheWasBornIThink

Still got plenty to do, but it’ll be fine.

#AndOfCourseItCoincidedWithBsFirstToothStartingToCutThroughHerGums #ItIsDay6AndIDoNotThinkItHasBrokenTheSurfaceYet

It felt so sharp the other day, but looking at it I do not think it has come through yet. It must be horrible. Bless B.

#AWomanAtTheParkSaidItCanTakeUpToAMonthForAToothToFullyAppear

Great.

#WeHaveStartedToBrushBsTeethOrRatherGumsToGetHerUsedToUsDoingIt

I wasn’t looking forward to it, but she does not seem to mind much.

#HerToothpasteIsFor0To2YearOldsButItSaysTheyShouldSpitItOut

Lol. Imagine trying to get a 4 month old to spit it out (B is 9 months and she does not get it yet).

#BHasBeenLaughingAtMeShowingHerHowToSpitItOutButIDoNotThinkItMattersThatMuch

She has seen us brush our teeth with an electric toothbrush so when we brush hers or I pretend to brush mine I make the sound of one. I think she finds me going ‘blergh’ more funny though. The other night she would not stop laughing.

#HerNapsHaveGenerallyBeenALotShorterAndSheUsuallyWakesUpAt6amNow

Yesterday Tiago was looking forward to her naps; she slept for half an hour both times. She has been sleeping okay through the night, though last night she did wake up at 11 briefly.

#IHaveBeenWorkingUntil11ishQuiteALotButThenItTakesSoLongForMyBrainToSwitchOff

I have been falling asleep after 12 most nights, except for last night when I actually was asleep when she woke up. Typical.

#WeManagedOneEpisodeOfAShowForDateNightLastNightThenWeWentToBedAt10

We’ve been watching Through Her Eyes. We watched 2 episodes last weekend, then hadn’t watched it again until last night. Tiago has given me the go ahead to watch it by myself though, as I think he is a little freaked out/can’t be bothered to watch it. I have started to watch a lot of TV on 1.5x while doing work…

#IAmDreadingTheClocksChangingNextWeekendThoughIAmLookingForwardToLighterEvenings

I get confused by it all every time though. Thinking about it the old 6am will be 7am, so the first night might not be great (hello super early bedtime) but it could be worse. We’ll see…

#YesterdayIHadPortfolioReviewsAndWorkWorkToDoSoTiagoLookedAfterBForMostOfTheDay

I hope more things stay online after the pandemic is over. It was so much more convenient to be at home with a digital portfolio. One reviewer said she wouldn’t have been able to go to the physical reviews as she has kids to look after.

They seemed to go well and were generally positive. It seems worth noting that I only had female reviewers.

#IWasReadingSomethingAboutTheSuccessOfAFemaleArtistAfterHavingKidsSeemsToCorrelateToHowSupportiveTheirPartnerIs

I guess it makes sense.

#IFeelLuckyThatTiagoIsSupportiveOfItAllAsOtherwiseItWouldBeHarderToGetThingsDone

It’s 9.15am and this morning he’s been looking after B so I could do dance videos, do a shoot and now my hashtags and blog. B is just going down for a nap, so I hope she sleeps well. I need to do some ‘work work’ after this, but I want to make sure that Tiago has some time for his own stuff today too.

I still feel guilty about T looking after her so much, but B doesn’t see him that much during the week so it’s nice for them to spend some quality time together.

#ForTheNextMonthOrSoIWillBeOutALotMoreWorkingWhichMeansLessTimeForMyOwnStuffSoWeWillSeeHowThatAllGoes

My Mum and Tiago will be looking after her while I’m doing it. I’m looking forward to getting out more, but I worry about fitting everything in. I know it’ll be fine though.

#AKidAtTheParkTheOtherDayCameOverAndStartedToPushBInTheSwing

We had been talking to some earlier about a car, which he said was a tractor.

#SheDidNotKnowWhatToMakeOfItAndIWasAlsoABitUnsureOfWhatToDo

He had a lot of spit on his hands and B had a runny nose – fun for Covid times.

#IDoNowKnowHowToTalkToKids

I guess as B gets older I’ll figure it out, and hopefully we’ll start to hang out with more kids soon.

#TheOtherDayICriedAsIHadQuiteATenderMomentWithB

I just had to check that that was the right term.

#SheWasInspectingMyFingersWithGreatCareAndWasLaughingAtMeRaisingMyEyebrowsUpAndDown

She was sat in her high chair and it was just really sweet. I love making her laugh.

#SheAlsoHasANewCheekyGrinWhichIsSuperAdorable

I should probably imitate it for a future shoot.

(15th April: It’s the next post.)

#SheLikesToPlayWithTheBalloonsThatWeBlewUpForOneOfHerBabyClasses

She also laughs when I throw one up and enthusiastically catch it. I have a lot of fun just kicking them about and playing volleyball with them.

#SheIsYetToUnderstandThatTheyCanPopAndIAmNotLookingForwardToTheDayThatTheyDo

I am worried that it might hurt her and she will get really freaked out.

#RecentlySheWasReallyDiggingHerFingersIntoItAndIHatedTheNoise

Ergh.

#IQuicklyPutMyHandsOverMyEarsAndSheAlsoFoundThatHilarious

I live to make her laugh. Once I learn how to talk to kids I might become a kid’s entertainer…

#INeedToDoSomeResearchIntoWhatSoundsAllAnimalsMake #ForExampleWhatSoundDoesAGiraffeMake

I end up singing that ‘What Does The Fox Say?‘ song from time to time as B has a fox toy and a few books that reference foxes. I just remember hearing them mate in London a lot and that wasn’t very nice…

People like to use animals for things that aren’t really known for their noises. If in doubt a lot of animals roar, and most birds tweet, but what does a moose say? A lot of them become Pokemon in my mind as in a toucan says tou-can, and a moose says moooose.


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Imitating How B Clapped Her Hands Until Two Days Ago (10th March 2021)

Imitating How B Clapped Until Two Days Ago (10th March 2021)
 
#UntilTwoDaysAgoBWasClappingLikeSheWasLookingForAFight
#SheLikesToClapAboutEverythingAtTheMoment
#EvenThoughHerSkinGotWorseAgainAndSheHasAColdAndSheIsTeething
#ICalledTheDoctorsTheOtherDayAsWeOpenedANewTubeOfHydrocortisoneCreamAndItSaidToOnlyUseItForAWeek
#WeHaveBeenUsingItForTwoWeeksAndAsADoctorSaidToUseItTwoTimesADayUntilItWasMuchBetterWeWereOnlyApplyingItOnceADay
#ThisDoctorSaidItIsFineToKeepUsingItTwiceADayAndBsSkinHasGotMuchBetterAlready
#WeJustNeedToKeepApplyingHerOtherCreamEveryHourOrSoAndItDefinitelyMakesADifferenceToo
#SheHasARunnyNoseWhichSheDoesNotLikeHavingWipedSoThatMakesForALotOfFun
#AtTheWeekendSheWasCrawlingALittleBitButThenSheWasSuddenlyOffAroundTheRoom
#YesterdaySheCrawledIntoTheKitchenAndPushedHerselfUpToStandingOnTheStepladderThatISitOnToFeedHer
#ItIsAmazingHowMuchSheChangesWeekToWeek
#AtTheMomentWeAreTryingToHaveTheTelevisionOnLessAndSpendMoreTimeInHerRoom
#ItIsMyNansHouseSoIfSheWantsTheTelevisionOnThenSheShouldHaveItOnButIFeelGuiltyForWatchingIt
#BHasMuchBetterPlaytimeWhenItIsNotOnAndWeReadMoreBooksAndSheCrawlsMore
#MoreCrawlingEqualsBetterSleepWhichIsGoodForUsAll
#IAmStillStressedOutWithMealsButNowIJustSeeWhatSheEatsInHalfAnHourAndLeaveItAtThat
#SheDoesNotSeemToLikeMeFeedingHerAtLunchAndDinnerButIfSheHasSomeKindOfFingerFoodThenSheDoesNotMind
#ItIs5WeeksUntilWeCanAttendAnInPersonBabyClassAgain
#FriendsElsewhereInTheCountryAreAlreadyAttendingBabyGroupsAndOutdoorClassesAndIAmJealous
#EvenThoughISaidBeforeThatTheBabyWalksNearUsAreNotFairOnBAsSheIsABitBoredIHaveTriedToBookSinceButTheyAreAlwaysSoldOut
#ItIsAnnoyingAsIKnowThatPeopleDoNotShowUpAndSoThereAreAlwaysFreeSpotsButOhWell
#ItIsAwkwardWalkingAroundInAGroupLikeThatAndBGetsNothingFromIt
#WhenWeDoOnlineClassesNowBKeepsCrawlingOverToMyLaptopAndSmashesAllTheKeys
#SometimesSheEndsUpTurningMyCameraOffOrUnmutingUsSoItIsAwkwardButFunny
#ThereIsAnOnlineCoffeeMorningTodayWithAMumAppThatIUse
#IWasGoingToAttendButNowIDoNotSeeThePointAsItIsHighlyUnlikelyThatAnyOfTheMumsWillLiveNearUs
#WeJustNeedToWaitThingsOutAndHopeThatThingsDoNotRevert
#IGuessItIsForTheBestThatWeCanNotGoToAnythingAsHopefullyByTheTimeWeCanMyNanWillHaveHadHerSecondVaccine
#IKnowItWillNotCompletelyProtectHerButItWillMakeThingsALittleLessStressful
#SheIsAlsoGettingFedUpOfBeingAtHomeAllTheTimeSoWeWillAllBeHappierWhenWeCanGoOutMore

#UntilTwoDaysAgoBWasClappingLikeSheWasLookingForAFight #SheLikesToClapAboutEverythingAtTheMoment

Last week she clapped when I put her down for a nap. That made me laugh.

#EvenThoughHerSkinGotWorseAgainAndSheHasAColdAndSheIsTeething

Her skin is so stressful. She still has no teeth. It’s great dealing with a baby with a runny nose.

#ICalledTheDoctorsTheOtherDayAsWeOpenedANewTubeOfHydrocortisoneCreamAndItSaidToOnlyUseItForAWeek #WeHaveBeenUsingItForTwoWeeksAndAsADoctorSaidToUseItTwoTimesADayUntilItWasMuchBetterWeWereOnlyApplyingItOnceADay

Well it was much better and then it suddenly got worse. I wanted some reassurance that it was okay to still use it and to maybe use it twice a day again.

#ThisDoctorSaidItIsFineToKeepUsingItTwiceADayAndBsSkinHasGotMuchBetterAlready

Hurrah. He said some people are on it long term… It’s only a mild one but we still need to be careful.

#WeJustNeedToKeepApplyingHerOtherCreamEveryHourOrSoAndItDefinitelyMakesADifferenceToo

We have ‘Dermol 500’ which the other doctors prescribed. We were using that and that hydromol, but yesterday we just kept applying Dermol and it seemed to make things better.

Her skin is the worst under her vest, and she has a sleepsuit on top of it most of the time. Last night we thought we would try her without the vest but she was crying her eyes out at 11.30 and we put it back on. Her skin seems better. We had also put her in a new brand of nappies, so we’ve gone back to her old ones. The problem with changing a few things is that you’re not sure what is really helping, but I think it is a mix of things really.

#SheHasARunnyNoseWhichSheDoesNotLikeHavingWipedSoThatMakesForALotOfFun

Like I said before – ‘It’s great dealing with a baby with a runny nose.’

#AtTheWeekendSheWasCrawlingALittleBitButThenSheWasSuddenlyOffAroundTheRoom

My Mum came on Saturday morning and B was moving around a bit, then by the afternoon she was crawling fast towards a toy that she wanted.

My Nan has a trolley that she likes to crawl to and play with the wheels, so we’re keeping that away from her now.

#YesterdaySheCrawledIntoTheKitchenAndPushedHerselfUpToStandingOnTheStepladderThatISitOnToFeedHer

It’s now time for constant vigilance. Yay.

#ItIsAmazingHowMuchSheChangesWeekToWeek

We talk to a woman who walks a dog when we see her, which is usually about once a week. She commented yesterday about how much B has changed since she last saw her – which was probably 5 days ago.

#AtTheMomentWeAreTryingToHaveTheTelevisionOnLessAndSpendMoreTimeInHerRoom #ItIsMyNansHouseSoIfSheWantsTheTelevisionOnThenSheShouldHaveItOnButIFeelGuiltyForWatchingIt #BHasMuchBetterPlaytimeWhenItIsNotOnAndWeReadMoreBooksAndSheCrawlsMore

My Nan will say ‘put B’s shows on’. I say ‘B has watched enough TV today’ and my Nan will disagree. I know my Nan means well, but surely me playing with B is much better for her than TV? We didn’t have a TV in Liverpool and we do not plan to have one when we eventually move out. We watch stuff on our computers from time to time, but I don’t like how we can just get stuck in front of the TV. Hopefully the weather will be good soon and we can go out more, and go to classes and do anything else that isn’t sitting in front of the box.

#MoreCrawlingEqualsBetterSleepWhichIsGoodForUsAll

Exactly.

#IAmStillStressedOutWithMealsButNowIJustSeeWhatSheEatsInHalfAnHourAndLeaveItAtThat

Well, sometimes it creeps to 35 to 40 minutes but it is early days.

#SheDoesNotSeemToLikeMeFeedingHerAtLunchAndDinnerButIfSheHasSomeKindOfFingerFoodThenSheDoesNotMind

She loves breakfast and it seems okay for me to feed her, but lunch and dinner are a bit more tricky. I’ve made her broccoli scones and raspberry oat bites that she seems more into, but I need to work on giving her more finger foods as we didn’t do the baby led weaning approach.

I planned to but I found it too stressful.

#ItIs5WeeksUntilWeCanAttendAnInPersonBabyClassAgain

Fingers crossed.

#FriendsElsewhereInTheCountryAreAlreadyAttendingBabyGroupsAndOutdoorClassesAndIAmJealous

If we were still in Liverpool then we would also be quite cut off from things, as we lived on the wrong side of the city for baby classes.

#EvenThoughISaidBeforeThatTheBabyWalksNearUsAreNotFairOnBAsSheIsABitBoredIHaveTriedToBookSinceButTheyAreAlwaysSoldOut

Sometimes I just feel like we need to get out of the house and see people. I feel like B can deal with an hour of it.

#ItIsAnnoyingAsIKnowThatPeopleDoNotShowUpAndSoThereAreAlwaysFreeSpotsButOhWell

We’re on a WhatsApp group and there are usually a lot of ‘sorry I can’t make it messages’. I get it as babies are unpredictable, but we need to book onto it etc.

#ItIsAwkwardWalkingAroundInAGroupLikeThatAndBGetsNothingFromIt

It did make me feel quite anxious last time and I could not really enjoy myself, plus B’s boredom just stressed me out.

#WhenWeDoOnlineClassesNowBKeepsCrawlingOverToMyLaptopAndSmashesAllTheKeys #SometimesSheEndsUpTurningMyCameraOffOrUnmutingUsSoItIsAwkwardButFunny

She was doing it a bit before, but now she is super fast.

#ThereIsAnOnlineCoffeeMorningTodayWithAMumAppThatIUse #IWasGoingToAttendButNowIDoNotSeeThePointAsItIsHighlyUnlikelyThatAnyOfTheMumsWillLiveNearUs

It starts in 15 minutes. B is due to get up in 30 minutes.

I need to do the shoot for this so I’d rather get it done now and then relax during B’s nap later. Or I can just try to quickly do the shoot and attend, and leave early if I do not like it. Hmm. I think I’ll just do the shoot now as we have an online baby class in an hour or so.

#WeJustNeedToWaitThingsOutAndHopeThatThingsDoNotRevert

Let’s hope not.

#IGuessItIsForTheBestThatWeCanNotGoToAnythingAsHopefullyByTheTimeWeCanMyNanWillHaveHadHerSecondVaccine #IKnowItWillNotCompletelyProtectHerButItWillMakeThingsALittleLessStressful

I know that some people are still dying from Covid after having the vaccine, but at least we know she will have some protection and then we need to encourage her to still keep her distance from people etc.

#SheIsAlsoGettingFedUpOfBeingAtHomeAllTheTimeSoWeWillAllBeHappierWhenWeCanGoOutMore

I feel bad for her. I complain about things, but this whole situation is also rubbish for everyone else in different ways. She misses going out to the shops, which was her main source of joy before. Hopefully things will be better for us all soon.


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Imitating How B Puts Her Arms Up When I Pick Her Up (2nd March 2021)

Me with my arms in the air.
Imitating How B Puts Her Arms Up When I Pick Her Up (2nd March 2021)
 
#IHaveCalledTheShootFolderPutYourArmsInTheAirLikeYouAreBAndYouDoNotCare
#BeforeWhenIPickedHerUpSheWouldJustNotMoveHerArmsAndSoItWasEasyToLiftAndCarryHer
#NowAfterYouPickHerUpSheWillJustThrowHerArmsUpStraightIntoTheAirAndAsSheIsGettingHeavierItCanBeQuiteAStruggle
#HerSkinIsABitBetterButIThinkItWillTakeSomeTimeToGoAwayCompletely
#IAmABitBoredOfApplyingCreamsAndThingsButObviouslyItIsForTheBest
#AfterMyLastShootIWentToAnOnlineZoomMeetingForLocalMumsWhileBWasAsleep
#ItWasJustSoSuperAwkwardAsIDidNotRealiseIWasOnMuteAtFirstAndThenIDidNotGetToTalkOrSoItFelt
#ItMadeMeRememberWhyIHadNotBeenToOneForTwoMonthsOrSoAndIHadACryAfterwards
#AfterBWasUpIBlewMyNoseAndThenSheWasCryingAsItHadScaredHer
#IHaveBeenFeelingDownAgainAndPostingABlogEntryTheOtherDayMadeMeRealiseThatMyLastBadPatchWasNotThatLongAgo
#INeedToStartLookingAfterMyselfBetterSoThatICanBeABetterMumForB
#IWantToGetMentallyStrongAsWellAsPhysicallyStrong
#InTheLastWeekIHaveStartedToTryToDoPushups
#IThoughtMyArmsShouldBeGettingStrongerWithAllThisBabyCarryingButIRealisedHowWeakTheyAreStill
#DoYouEverGetThatFeelingOfThereIsSoMuchThatYouWantToDoButYouDoNotKnowWhereToStartSoInsteadOfDoingSomethingYouDoNothing
#IFeltABitLikeThatTheOtherDayAndISpentALotOfMyFreeTimeAtTheWeekendJustWatchingTaskmaster
#IThinkIAmJustABitScaredOfFailureSlashWastingMyTimeSoIWouldRatherRelax
#WeHadOurSecondDateNightTheOtherNightWhichWasUsJustWatchingTheFilmStanAndOllie
#SoOurDateNightIsBasicallyUsJustWatchingTVTogether
#OnceBGoesToSleepIAmUsuallyOffDoingWorkOrProcrastinatingOrTryingToRead
#IAmABitFrustratedByAllThePeopleActingLikeLockdownIsOver
#SuddenlyThereAreLargeGroupsSatInTheParkHavingPicnicsAndDrinking
#IGetItIKnowThatPeopleAreFedUpAndWhatever
#IAmJustBitterAsIWouldNotEnjoyMyselfIfIDidTheSame
#AndIAmWorriedThatByTheTimeBabyClassesAreDueToReopenTheyWillNotBeAllowedToAsInfectionRatesMightGetWorseAgain
#BSeemsToBeTeethingALotAgain
#SheHasBeenTeasingUsWithThisOnOffTeethingBusinessForAWhileButMaybeAToothWillSoonAppear
#EveryDayILoveHerABitMore
#INeedToStopFeelingSoGuiltyAndJustBeMorePresentWhenIAmWithHer
#IAlsoNeedToTalkToHerMoreButIFindItDifficultAsTheDaysAreSoLongAndRepetitiveAndIGetTired

#IHaveCalledTheShootFolderPutYourArmsInTheAirLikeYouAreBAndYouDoNotCare

I am so funny.

#BeforeWhenIPickedHerUpSheWouldJustNotMoveHerArmsAndSoItWasEasyToLiftAndCarryHer

Hands under the arms. Great.

#NowAfterYouPickHerUpSheWillJustThrowHerArmsUpStraightIntoTheAirAndAsSheIsGettingHeavierItCanBeQuiteAStruggle

Sometimes I worry that she will just slip out of my hands.

#HerSkinIsABitBetterButIThinkItWillTakeSomeTimeToGoAwayCompletely #IAmABitBoredOfApplyingCreamsAndThingsButObviouslyItIsForTheBest

Her chest seems a little worse in places. I am thinking it is heat rash as she does sleep on her tummy a lot. I’ve been experimenting with making her room cooler at bedtime this last week. It seems to have been going okay.

#AfterMyLastShootIWentToAnOnlineZoomMeetingForLocalMumsWhileBWasAsleep

I usually do work/have me time when B is asleep and these zoom chats are always when B is napping. However I felt in the mood to talk to people

#ItWasJustSoSuperAwkwardAsIDidNotRealiseIWasOnMuteAtFirstAndThenIDidNotGetToTalkOrSoItFelt

I am cringeing now. I thought they were ignoring me, but then I realised that I had muted my computer via the button on my keyboard. Later on I tried to talk but someone else also spoke at the same time, so I just let them carry on. Then I asked a question to one of the women, but at that moment she went on mute and it was just super awkward.

#ItMadeMeRememberWhyIHadNotBeenToOneForTwoMonthsOrSoAndIHadACryAfterwards

I was crying quite a lot. I think it was partly because of the call, but also just crying to get other things off of my chest.

#AfterBWasUpIBlewMyNoseAndThenSheWasCryingAsItHadScaredHer

I was still crying, so I had to blow my nose. Then she started to cry, which made me cry more as I felt terrible. I do not like crying in front of her. It was a bad day.

#IHaveBeenFeelingDownAgainAndPostingABlogEntryTheOtherDayMadeMeRealiseThatMyLastBadPatchWasNotThatLongAgo

This entry.

I said:

#OnceInAWhileIHaveDownPatchesAboutMyWorkAndIAmHavingOneRightNow

I think they’re more frequent occurrences than ‘once in a while’ to be fair.’

Reading that while feeling in a similar patch made me realise that it is more common. I had thought about quitting my fortnightly mental health call, but I think I need it for now.

#INeedToStartLookingAfterMyselfBetterSoThatICanBeABetterMumForB

I wrote about this a lot the other night in my diary.

#IWantToGetMentallyStrongAsWellAsPhysicallyStrong

I’m bored of sounding like such a negative whiney person. I think I write this at least once a month.

A big part of it is also feeling like I’m only as good as my last shoot and I haven’t liked my last couple of shoots. I hope today’s shoot goes better.

#InTheLastWeekIHaveStartedToTryToDoPushups #IThoughtMyArmsShouldBeGettingStrongerWithAllThisBabyCarryingButIRealisedHowWeakTheyAreStill

I’ve done 30 days of yoga a few times now and I still can not do chaturanga to upward facing dog without touching the floor between them. So with more pushups I hope to be able to achieve this (I can do it sometimes, but I want to be able to do it all the time).

#DoYouEverGetThatFeelingOfThereIsSoMuchThatYouWantToDoButYouDoNotKnowWhereToStartSoInsteadOfDoingSomethingYouDoNothing #IFeltABitLikeThatTheOtherDayAndISpentALotOfMyFreeTimeAtTheWeekendJustWatchingTaskmaster #IThinkIAmJustABitScaredOfFailureSlashWastingMyTimeSoIWouldRatherRelax

I was tired. I need to not be so hard on myself and let myself relax a bit. Previously I would have just jumped into doing something. Now I am trying to think about it more first before I do it, though I think I am at the point where I just need to try something.

It’s difficult not having a good space to work in, like when I was using what is now B’s room. Our bedroom is okay, but it’s not the most ideal. I miss a blank wall. I’m going to order a backdrop or paper or something.

#WeHadOurSecondDateNightTheOtherNightWhichWasUsJustWatchingTheFilmStanAndOllie

We had planned to watch this last week, but instead we watched 3 episodes of tv.

Amy Poehler told a joke at the Golden Globes the other night that summed it up nicely:  ‘Now, TV is the one that I watch five hours straight, but a movie is the one that I don’t turn on because it’s two hours. I don’t want to be in front of my TV for two hours, I want to be in front of the TV for one hour five times.’

#SoOurDateNightIsBasicallyUsJustWatchingTVTogether

So most couple’s normal nights? We don’t watch TV together in the evenings after B is asleep usually.

#OnceBGoesToSleepIAmUsuallyOffDoingWorkOrProcrastinatingOrTryingToRead

I rarely sit in the living room while B is asleep. I’m usually sat in our room. I’ve started 3 books lately, but I need to actually finish one.

Library e-books are a better way for me to read as I usually have 14 days to read them before it’s time to return it for someone else in the queue. If I own it then I do not do such a good job of finishing it.

A book that I am aiming to finish is The Five by Hallie Rubenhold.

Last night I should have just got into bed early and read it, but when I’m tired I procrastinate more than usual and I wasted a lot of time doing nothing.

#IAmABitFrustratedByAllThePeopleActingLikeLockdownIsOver #SuddenlyThereAreLargeGroupsSatInTheParkHavingPicnicsAndDrinking

Hi, it’s me Jocelyn the pandemic police lady again.

#IGetItIKnowThatPeopleAreFedUpAndWhatever

I am also a member of the not very exclusive ‘I’m fed up’ club.

#IAmJustBitterAsIWouldNotEnjoyMyselfIfIDidTheSame

I would feel guilty for openly flouting the rules and I also can not be carefree in the park anymore as I have a baby.

#AndIAmWorriedThatByTheTimeBabyClassesAreDueToReopenTheyWillNotBeAllowedToAsInfectionRatesMightGetWorseAgain

If you all want to get Covid then fine, but just let me leave the house for a baby class or playgroup. Pleaseeee.

#BSeemsToBeTeethingALotAgain #SheHasBeenTeasingUsWithThisOnOffTeethingBusinessForAWhileButMaybeAToothWillSoonAppear

She has been teasing us since before we moved to Birmingham and we have lived here for 4 months now.

#EveryDayILoveHerABitMore

Cheesy but true. I look at her many times during the day and think ‘whoa I grew this little human inside me’.

#INeedToStopFeelingSoGuiltyAndJustBeMorePresentWhenIAmWithHer #IAlsoNeedToTalkToHerMoreButIFindItDifficultAsTheDaysAreSoLongAndRepetitiveAndIGetTired

Maybe these hashtags should be swapped around? Oh well.

I do need to talk to her more. I think I spend a lot of the day in silence/watching more kids TV than she does. I just can not talk all day, especially when the person I am talking to can not really talk back. She has more talkative phases though and I just need to do that thing where you copy then say some words afterwards.

I need to get over things. I wanted a baby. I am so happy that we have B. We are lucky as we have my Nan, and we see my Mum a few times a week. It is just so tiring, but I do still want another one at some point. I’d rather just get on with things as there will never be a good time to have another child now.

(26th March: B throwing her arms up in the air after I picked her up seemed to be a 2 day phase. She hasn’t done it since then.)


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