Categories
Oh Me, Oh Mãe II

Mastitis Is No Joke (5th / 7th March 2022)

Self-portrait where I have cabbage leaves in my bra, which are visible as I am wearing a breastfeeding dress and part of the dress is lifted up. My hair is covering my face and it is quite curly from having it up in a bun all the time and rarely washing it.
Mastitis Is No Joke (5th / 7th March 2022)
 
#ThisWeekHasBeenARoughWeekAndIFeelDumbComplainingWhenTheNewsIsSoAwfulAtTheMoment
#ISpendALotOfMyTimeWhileBreastfeedingJustDoomScrollingAndCryingAtVideosOfBabiesAndChildren
#MothersGivingBirthInBasementsAndBombSheltersWhileIHadAPleasantExperienceNotEvenAMonthAgoAndHaveBeenHavingMedicalTreatmentForBleedingAndBadBoobs
#IWokeUpAtTheStartOfTheWeekInTheEarlyHoursOfTheMorningWithOneBreastJustFeelingReallyHot
#IFeltAroundForALumpAndCouldNotFindOneButWasInstantlyWorriedItWasMastitis
#TheFluLikeSymptomsKickedInAndIHadMajorChillsAndCouldNotSleepWellAtAll
#TheBadSleepingWentOnForACoupleOfNightsAndIFoundARaisedAreaAtTheBottomOfMyRightBreast
#TakingIbruprofenMadeMyChillsGoToExtremeSweatsWhichWasGreatFun
#ICheckedTheNHSWebsiteAndItSaidToContactYourGPIfSymptomsDidNotGoAwayAfter24Hours
#SoICalledAndTheyGaveMeSomeAntibiotics
#LeadingUpToThatAndAfterThatIHaveJustBeenTryingEverythingFromEpsomSaltsToCabbageLeavesToExpressingToMassagesToLecithinToBathsAndShowersToWarmCompresses
#IDoNotFeelThatBadNowThoughIHaveBsColdAndASuperPhlegmyCoughAndILostMyVoiceACoupleOfDaysAgo
#SoBreastfeedingMightBeGoingBetterButWithBINeverGotMastitisWhichIsProbablyBecauseIMainlyPumpedSoMyBoobsWereAlwaysEmptied
#ITookLToHerFirstBabyClassWhichSheSleptThroughAndDuringTheSocialisingTimeIFeltSoAwkwardDueToMyWeirdVoiceThatIThoughtIShouldLeave
#OfCourseLWokeUpThenSoIChangedHerAndGotTalkingToAFewPeopleAndThenFedHer
#TheClassEndedThoughSoIEndedUpSittingAtTheBackOfTheNextClassFeedingHer
#InTheEndWeWereOutFor3HoursWhichWasABitMuchButItFeltGoodToGetOutOfTheHouseAndDoSomethingDifferentAndSeeSomePeople
#HopefullyIWillGetTalkingToMorePeopleEachWeekButLWasTheYoungestBabyByFarAsTheRestWereSittingUpAndMostWereCrawling
#WhenITookBToClassesIOnlyReallyTalkedToThoseWithKidsOfASimilarAgeSoIGetItIfNoOneWantsToTalkToMe
#IDidNotGetToTakeBToClassesThisEarlyOnAsThereWereNoneOnOrNoneNearUs
#LHasNotBeenSleepingGreatDuringTheDayButIThinkItIsBecauseOftenIShouldJustGoAndPutHerInHerCotButBecauseBIsAroundIJustTryToSeeIfSheWillFallAsleepDownstairs
#IAmDefinitelyMoreRelaxedAboutLHavingAScheduleThanIWasWithBButMyMumHasAlwaysSaidThatTheSecondKidJustSlotsIn
#IfBIsAwakeAnywaysThenThereDoesNotSeemMuchPointEnforcingAScheduleOnLUnlessIWantUsToGoOnAWalkButIKnowSheWillFallAsleepInTheCarrier
#IHaveBathedLByMyselfACoupleOfTimesWhichIsGoodAndProbablyAReliefForMyMum
#BMakesMeLaughSoMuchTheseDays
#SheSeemsToHaveANewHabitOfStoringFoodOrAtLeastJustPuttingCrustsSomewhereSoWeKeepFindingOldCrustsAround
#SheHasAThingAboutPushingHerFingersIntoGrapeHalvesWhichIShouldProbablyImitateAtSomePoint
#WhenLCriesSheGoesOverAndGetsAnnoyedWhichIHopeSheWillStopDoingSoon
#IThinkSheKnowsThatWhenLCriesSheGetsPickedUpSoSheWantsLToStopPerhaps
#BeforeBeingAMumIDidNotGetWhyPeopleDressedTheirKidsInMatchingOutfitsButLikeInOurFirstFamilyPortraitTheyHaveAFewMatchingOnesiesAndIGetItNowItIsCute

#ThisWeekHasBeenARoughWeekAndIFeelDumbComplainingWhenTheNewsIsSoAwfulAtTheMoment #ISpendALotOfMyTimeWhileBreastfeedingJustDoomScrollingAndCryingAtVideosOfBabiesAndChildren

It’s just awful. I felt I should have addressed it in my last post, but I didn’t feel able to yet. This isn’t really addressing it either but it is acknowledging it.

#MothersGivingBirthInBasementsAndBombSheltersWhileIHadAPleasantExperienceNotEvenAMonthAgoAndHaveBeenHavingMedicalTreatmentForBleedingAndBadBoobs

Well, antibiotics but I’ve been able to speak to a Doctor or go to a hospital and be checked out etc.

#IWokeUpAtTheStartOfTheWeekInTheEarlyHoursOfTheMorningWithOneBreastJustFeelingReallyHot #IFeltAroundForALumpAndCouldNotFindOneButWasInstantlyWorriedItWasMastitis

I worried about this happening the whole time I was breastfeeding B and I had been worried. L doesn’t feed for long but she feeds efficiently. The day before this started she had only fed for an hour and a half the whole day, so I think I should have been trying to get her feed more. Fail.

#TheFluLikeSymptomsKickedInAndIHadMajorChillsAndCouldNotSleepWellAtAll #TheBadSleepingWentOnForACoupleOfNightsAndIFoundARaisedAreaAtTheBottomOfMyRightBreast

Me complaining about not sleeping in a nice bed in a safe house etc. Lol. Well, I’m just saying what happened and I was really struggling to sleep – my brain was just thinking of 5 letter words which was really pissing me off. Thanks Wordle and Quordle.

#TakingIbruprofenMadeMyChillsGoToExtremeSweatsWhichWasGreatFun

I kind of preferred having the chills. Just waking up covered in sweat is not nice.

#ICheckedTheNHSWebsiteAndItSaidToContactYourGPIfSymptomsDidNotGoAwayAfter24Hours #SoICalledAndTheyGaveMeSomeAntibiotics

At first I was not sure about whether to get them or not, but she said it is different antibiotics to the ones I was taking for the bleeding. Also I did not want things to get worse.

#LeadingUpToThatAndAfterThatIHaveJustBeenTryingEverythingFromEpsomSaltsToCabbageLeavesToExpressingToMassagesToLecithinToBathsAndShowersToWarmCompresses

I imagine this shoot will involve cabbage leaves in some capacity. I was telling a friend that having them in my bra makes me feel like an allotment version of The Little Mermaid.

#IDoNotFeelThatBadNowThoughIHaveBsColdAndASuperPhlegmyCoughAndILostMyVoiceACoupleOfDaysAgo

It’s a relief that my Mum comes round and B goes to nursery a few times a week as looking after two kids when you’re feeling as bad as I did at the start of the week is not fun.

Also luckily the weather was quite bad so I didn’t feel so bad for not getting us all out for walks.

#SoBreastfeedingMightBeGoingBetterButWithBINeverGotMastitisWhichIsProbablyBecauseIMainlyPumpedSoMyBoobsWereAlwaysEmptied

I mainly pumped and bottle fed B.

#ITookLToHerFirstBabyClassWhichSheSleptThroughAndDuringTheSocialisingTimeIFeltSoAwkwardDueToMyWeirdVoiceThatIThoughtIShouldLeave

I was sat on the sidelines and felt awkward calling over to people as I felt I sounded so weird.

#OfCourseLWokeUpThenSoIChangedHerAndGotTalkingToAFewPeopleAndThenFedHer

The teacher was super nice and came to look at L as I left her on our mat to wash my hands. She said there is a baby who is two weeks old starting next week (at a different session).

#TheClassEndedThoughSoIEndedUpSittingAtTheBackOfTheNextClassFeedingHer

It was a nice big room so it was not that weird.

#InTheEndWeWereOutFor3HoursWhichWasABitMuchButItFeltGoodToGetOutOfTheHouseAndDoSomethingDifferentAndSeeSomePeople

It felt a bit more like how classes should have been when B was little.

#HopefullyIWillGetTalkingToMorePeopleEachWeekButLWasTheYoungestBabyByFarAsTheRestWereSittingUpAndMostWereCrawling

It was cute seeing the other kids.

#WhenITookBToClassesIOnlyReallyTalkedToThoseWithKidsOfASimilarAgeSoIGetItIfNoOneWantsToTalkToMe

People were polite, but L isn’t much of a fun playdate for kids who are interacting with things.

#IDidNotGetToTakeBToClassesThisEarlyOnAsThereWereNoneOnOrNoneNearUs

B would have liked the class for sure, but yeah not so much at L’s age.

#LHasNotBeenSleepingGreatDuringTheDayButIThinkItIsBecauseOftenIShouldJustGoAndPutHerInHerCotButBecauseBIsAroundIJustTryToSeeIfSheWillFallAsleepDownstairs

In her bouncer or something. Sometimes she does, but lately she hasn’t. If we’ve been for a walk I’ll leave her in her bassinet and she sleeps quite well. Sometimes I get the bassinet out for her to sleep in.

#IAmDefinitelyMoreRelaxedAboutLHavingAScheduleThanIWasWithBButMyMumHasAlwaysSaidThatTheSecondKidJustSlotsIn

I do need to start trying to implement one though. Today we got up at 7 so that was good. It depends what time L has last woken up though. She had an hour of sleep between 2 and 8pm yesterday (B had 1 1/2 in comparison), so she slept for 6 hours. That probably isn’t good for my boob situation, but I needed the sleep too. I went to bed at 9ish and L slept on Tiago, then he moved her to her cot.

#IfBIsAwakeAnywaysThenThereDoesNotSeemMuchPointEnforcingAScheduleOnLUnlessIWantUsToGoOnAWalkButIKnowSheWillFallAsleepInTheCarrier

I try to be smart if I want us to get out of the house, or if B is going to have a nap and I want to nap too but sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.

#IHaveBathedLByMyselfACoupleOfTimesWhichIsGoodAndProbablyAReliefForMyMum

I need to keep a record of when I bath her as I can not remember. We try to bath both of the kids twice a week, but once might be enough to be fair (with flannel washes every day).

#BMakesMeLaughSoMuchTheseDays

She has so much personality. We had a video call with a friend yesterday and she got to see what a ball of energy B is.

#SheSeemsToHaveANewHabitOfStoringFoodOrAtLeastJustPuttingCrustsSomewhereSoWeKeepFindingOldCrustsAround

She tried to eat one the other day and realised how gross it was.

#SheHasAThingAboutPushingHerFingersIntoGrapeHalvesWhichIShouldProbablyImitateAtSomePoint

A bit like Amelie and the raspberries on her fingers…

#WhenLCriesSheGoesOverAndGetsAnnoyedWhichIHopeSheWillStopDoingSoon

We can not really leave them in a room together – I mean while I quickly pop into the kitchen to get something.

#IThinkSheKnowsThatWhenLCriesSheGetsPickedUpSoSheWantsLToStopPerhaps

*Shrugs*

#BeforeBeingAMumIDidNotGetWhyPeopleDressedTheirKidsInMatchingOutfitsButLikeInOurFirstFamilyPortraitTheyHaveAFewMatchingOnesiesAndIGetItNowItIsCute

Super cute. I think in a couple of years they may be in the same size clothes though which ruins my plans of passing clothes down, but I guess L will have to wear B’s clothes for a bit anyways.


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Categories
Pregnancy Waiting II

Thirteenth Family Portrait (35 Weeks / 2nd January 2022)

Family portrait. Tiago and I are looking up at B who is on Tiago's shoulders. A box, the same colour as the wall, is over her face to hide her features.
Thirteenth Family Portrait (35 Weeks / 2nd January 2022)
 
#Hello2022AndHelloToBsThirdYearOnEarth
#ItMakesHerSoundSoOldWhenSheIsNotEven19MonthsYet
#WeHadAVeryQuietNewYearsEveWhereWeJustWatchedACoupleOfEpisodesOfQueerEyeThenWentToSleepAt11
#AtMidnightIWokeUpToALotOfLightAndNoiseAsEveryoneAroundUsSeemedToHaveFireworks
#IThoughtItWas3InTheMorningAndWasReallyConfusedAsToWhatWasHappeningAtFirst
#TiagoBarelyMovedAndBDidWakeUpBrieflyButLuckilyNotForTooLong
#HerSleepingHasBeenGettingWorseAndIThinkSheMustBeGoingThroughARegression
#IHaveMadeTheLightOnHerRoomThermometerABitStrongerInCaseItHelps
#SheJustSeemsToBeFullOfColdAndTeethingALotWhichProbablyDoesNotHelp
#TheOtherDayWhenWeWereAllLeavingThePlaygroundTiagoAndISanitisedOurHandsAndBCopiedWhichMadeMeLaugh
#WeAreStartingToDigOutBabyStuffAndBHadABriefPhaseOfEnjoyingSittingInHerBouncerAgain
#IAmGettingAnnoyedThoughAsWeReallyCanNotFindWhereWePutAllHer0To3MonthBabyClothes
#WeHaveLookedMultipleTimesAndYesterdayWeWentThroughThingsPrettyThoroughlyButNoLuck
#WhenWeMovedBHadOutgrownThemSoTheyMustJustBeInASmallBagSomewhere
#IWantToGetThemAllWashedSoICanPackMyHospitalBagButReallyIJustNeedToPackMyBagAndKeepLooking
#OtherwiseWeNeedToGetSomeClothesAsSoonAsPossibleAsTimeIsQuicklyPassingBy
#INeedToRereadTheHypnobirthingBookAndTiagoNeedsToReadItToo
#WeHaveAFewThingsThatWeNeedToGetThisWeekLikeASterilisingMachineAsWeBorrowedOneLastTime
#IAlsoNeedToHireATENSMachineSoonAsLastTimeIThoughtIWasBeingOrganisedAndItCameADayBeforeINeededToUseItAsBCameSoEarly
#TiagoAndIAreTryingToMakeAnEffortToSpendABitOfTimeTogetherBeforeWeGoToSleepAsUsuallyWeAreOffDoingOurOwnThing
#IAmTryingToFaffLessAndUseSocialMediaLessAndReadTheNewsLessAsIDoNotNeedToReadIt10TimesADay
#ItHasBeenNiceToTalkABitMoreBeforeGoingToBedAsOnceBabyXArrivesIKnowWeWillHaveLessUsTimeForAWhile
#MyMainHopesForThisYearIsThatBabyXIsBornHealthyAndThatTheBirthGoesWell
#IHopeThatBAdaptsWellToHavingASiblingAndThatTheyGetOnWell
#IAlsoHopeThatWeCanMoveOutOfMyNansHouseAndIntoOurPotentialForeverHome
#NextMonthItWillHaveBeen7YearsSinceTiagoAndIMetAndWeHaveLivedIn3DifferentCitiesTogether
#OurPlansAreSlowlyMovingForwardAndWeWantToMoveOutInTheSummer
#SoOnceBabyXIsBornTheCountdownWillSwitchFromTheBirthToMovingOutAndGettingOrganisedForThat
#ItWillBeABigMoveButIThinkAllTheWaitingWillBeWorthItInTheEnd
#ThanksToMyNanForPuttingUpWithUsForOverAYearAlready

#Hello2022AndHelloToBsThirdYearOnEarth

2021 dragged at times, but it also feels like it went quite fast.

#ItMakesHerSoundSoOldWhenSheIsNotEven19MonthsYet

It is weird how things work. Yesterday I was thinking about how I am 22 times older than B.

#WeHadAVeryQuietNewYearsEveWhereWeJustWatchedACoupleOfEpisodesOfQueerEyeThenWentToSleepAt11

New series. Great. We had forgotten that it was New Year’s Eve, so we agreed to both be in bed by 9 to hang out.

#AtMidnightIWokeUpToALotOfLightAndNoiseAsEveryoneAroundUsSeemedToHaveFireworks

I guess it was a safer option for a lot of people to meet up, rather than be indoors.

#IThoughtItWas3InTheMorningAndWasReallyConfusedAsToWhatWasHappeningAtFirst

It really startled me.

#TiagoBarelyMovedAndBDidWakeUpBrieflyButLuckilyNotForTooLong

When I woke up I was so shocked I said ‘Tiago!’, but he just said ‘what?’ and rolled over. I had turned B’s machine up.

#HerSleepingHasBeenGettingWorseAndIThinkSheMustBeGoingThroughARegression

I looked up 18 month sleep regression and a lot of boxes were checked.

#IHaveMadeTheLightOnHerRoomThermometerABitStrongerInCaseItHelps

I had put it on the lowest setting, but it didn’t seem high enough.

#SheJustSeemsToBeFullOfColdAndTeethingALotWhichProbablyDoesNotHelp

We are constantly cleaning her eyes, wiping her nose, wiping away dribble etc.

#TheOtherDayWhenWeWereAllLeavingThePlaygroundTiagoAndISanitisedOurHandsAndBCopiedWhichMadeMeLaugh

She did it a couple of days in a row, and then stopped. We wash her hands when she gets home. Sometimes I use sanitiser, but I worry it is too strong for her.

#WeAreStartingToDigOutBabyStuffAndBHadABriefPhaseOfEnjoyingSittingInHerBouncerAgain

She tried to sit in the baby bath, so I thought I should get the bouncer out for her, then I was worried that she liked it too much that she would be trying to sit on the baby…

#IAmGettingAnnoyedThoughAsWeReallyCanNotFindWhereWePutAllHer0To3MonthBabyClothes

It is stressing me out.

#WeHaveLookedMultipleTimesAndYesterdayWeWentThroughThingsPrettyThoroughlyButNoLuck

I was sure I had put them in a cupboard in our bedroom, but nope. There is a shoulder bag of mine that I have not seen in the couple of weeks that I have been searching, so I am wondering if they are in there, but I kind of doubt it. Thinking about it there is another bag of mine that I haven’t seen either… Hmm. The shoulder bag is probably just full of my bags…

#WhenWeMovedBHadOutgrownThemSoTheyMustJustBeInASmallBagSomewhere

It’s so annoying. I want to find them ASAP.

#IWantToGetThemAllWashedSoICanPackMyHospitalBagButReallyIJustNeedToPackMyBagAndKeepLooking

I might pack my bag later or tomorrow.

#OtherwiseWeNeedToGetSomeClothesAsSoonAsPossibleAsTimeIsQuicklyPassingBy

We have a couple of new sleepsuits that we got as B’s are a bit overwashed and worn as she lived in them, so we need to get a couple more and some vests really. That’s it. I’ve found some cardigans and hats.

#INeedToRereadTheHypnobirthingBookAndTiagoNeedsToReadItToo

I’m enjoying reading a book about the Carpenters at the moment. It’s just a short read, then I will reread the book. To be fair I wrote down the main points in an email to myself and it’s enough really, but I feel like I’d feel calmer if I reread the book.

#WeHaveAFewThingsThatWeNeedToGetThisWeekLikeASterilisingMachineAsWeBorrowedOneLastTime

I don’t want to pump as much as I did last time, but it’s good to be organised. I wasn’t planning to pump at all last time, but we got given a pump and a friend lent us the steriliser so we were all set up for it when we got home from hospital.

#IAlsoNeedToHireATENSMachineSoonAsLastTimeIThoughtIWasBeingOrganisedAndItCameADayBeforeINeededToUseItAsBCameSoEarly

I have put a reminder in my calendar. I think you can keep them for 6 weeks or so, so I’ll just order it next week.

#TiagoAndIAreTryingToMakeAnEffortToSpendABitOfTimeTogetherBeforeWeGoToSleepAsUsuallyWeAreOffDoingOurOwnThing

B goes to bed and we’re like ‘freedom to do what we want’, which is me usually sitting at my computer doing some work, then stretching, and T is usually just having some time to himself and doing bits of work. I guess us not having our own place has made it this way too.

#IAmTryingToFaffLessAndUseSocialMediaLessAndReadTheNewsLessAsIDoNotNeedToReadIt10TimesADay

Less, less, less. I definitely feel better for it.

#ItHasBeenNiceToTalkABitMoreBeforeGoingToBedAsOnceBabyXArrivesIKnowWeWillHaveLessUsTimeForAWhile

We know how important it is to keep our bond strong (cheesy, but true), so that we can navigate the potentially difficult journey ahead (cliche) a bit easier.

#MyMainHopesForThisYearIsThatBabyXIsBornHealthyAndThatTheBirthGoesWell

Fingers crossed.

#IHopeThatBAdaptsWellToHavingASiblingAndThatTheyGetOnWell

Again, fingers crossed.

#IAlsoHopeThatWeCanMoveOutOfMyNansHouseAndIntoOurPotentialForeverHome

Potential forever home, as if we don’t like it then obviously we can move again, but I hope that it all works out.

#NextMonthItWillHaveBeen7YearsSinceTiagoAndIMetAndWeHaveLivedIn3DifferentCitiesTogether

3 and a half years in London in 2 different places a brief stay at my Nan’s while finding a place to live in Liverpool (lots of trips up and down to view places and work etc.), 2 years in Liverpool, then to Birmingham to live with my Nan (we weren’t sure how long we would live with her and had planned to find somewhere of our own to rent in Brum, but it’s too late now).

#OurPlansAreSlowlyMovingForwardAndWeWantToMoveOutInTheSummer

We shall see. We are starting to get a bit excited though.

#SoOnceBabyXIsBornTheCountdownWillSwitchFromTheBirthToMovingOutAndGettingOrganisedForThat

I’m not looking forward to going through all our stuff and really cutting down on things, but there is a lot of stuff that we haven’t touched since moving.

#ItWillBeABigMoveButIThinkAllTheWaitingWillBeWorthItInTheEnd

There has been a lot of waiting, and though it has been frustrating I think the timing is better.

#ThanksToMyNanForPuttingUpWithUsForOverAYearAlready

It’s been nice to see my Nan everyday and not worry about her, though it has been frustrating at times – which says more about me than her. It’s been good for her though, and it’s been good for B too. It’s been nice for my family to see more of B than they would have if we had stayed in Liverpool – especially due to Covid.

35 weeks pregnant with B comparison:

Self-portrait which is shot from below my bump. My eyes are looking out over the top of my bump and my elbows are in the air.
Our World Will Soon Change In One Way Or Another (35 and a half weeks)
 
#IFeelLikeIHaveNotWrittenMuchInMyActualDiaryAboutBeingPregnant
#MaybeBecauseIAmDoingThisProject
#SoLastNightIMadeMyselfWriteAboutHowIAmFeelingAboutImminentMotherhood
#AndIGotABitEmotional
#IAmStillNervousAsEvenThoughIHaveBeenGrowingThisBabyForSoLong
#ItDoesNotMeanWeWillHaveABabyInLessThan2MonthsTime
#ObviouslyIHopeWeDoButThereIsAlwaysAPossibilityThatWeWillNot
#SomeMightSayThatThinkingThatWayDoesYouNoGood
#ButIThinkItIsGoodToBeRealistic
#ThoughIDoNotNowHowIWouldReactIfThingsWentBadly
#ButTiagoSaysWeWillDealWithWhateverComesOurWay
#IAmAlsoNervousForIfWeDoHaveABabyAndIAmARubbishMother
#ObviouslyIWillDoMyBest
#AndIThinkNoMatterHowYouRaiseYourChildrenThingsWillNeverBePerfect
#ThoughIDoNotBelieveInPerfectButItIsTheEasiestWordToUse
#LuckilyWithLockdownItWillTakeSomePressureOffMeIThink
#ObviouslyThereIsAlwaysPressureForTheFatherTooButIThinkTheMotherGetsBurdenedWithALotOfIt
#PeopleSaveMoreJudgementForTheMother
#AndIWillBeThePrimaryCaregiver
#IThinkTiagoWillBeAGoodFatherThough
#IThinkHeHasMorePatienceAndIsABetterTeacherThanMe
#IHopeToWorkOnThoseAspectsOfMyselfThoughAlongWithManyOtherThings
#AndIWantToBeTheBestMotherThatICanPossiblyBe
#WhilstRetainingMyOwnIdentityAtLeastToSomeExtent
#IWillHopefullyBeAMotherButAlsoStillMuchMoreThanThat
#ThatWillBeJustOneOfMyLifeRoles
#MeAndTiagoAreAFamilyButThisWillBeADifferentKindOfFamily
#ILookForwardToLazyDaysInBedOrOnGrassLyingSideBySideBySide
#WritingTheseHashtagsAreMakingMeEmotional
#OurWorldWillSoonChangeInOneWayOrAnotherAndItIsExcitingButAlsoABitScary

This is from a diptych, but the second image is quite booby.

I feel the same as I did when I wrote these hashtags – I am still quite nervous that I might not be be a mother of two soon.

I don’t feel like the best mother at times – especially at the moment as I have no energy – but I know I am not the worst and that I am doing my best (or maybe 90% of my best).

There haven’t been many lazy days in bed or much lying on the grass side by side… Hopefully in the coming years.

I am excited though, but I am feeling a bit nervous too.

My hypnobirthing notes are mainly about breathing and trying to be as relaxed as possible.

See, by this point I had washed all the baby clothes. I need to get on it and find things!

I think I have cared less about how I look with this pregnancy, but I also have not been going out to work and generally people just see me when I take B out and about. I’ve been stretching a lot, and I do get out for daily walks, and I think I am a bit kinder to my body now after birthing one kid.

My mental health has been better in ways during this pregnancy as we want two kids, and I felt a bit lost just living at my Nan’s and waiting for our move, so it made sense to have the second one now. The living situation has been frustrating at times though, and I do look forward to having our own place again – and I’m sure my Nan will like to feel more relaxed in her house again. I know we have been lucky with this situation, and my Nan has benefitted from it too, but we can’t all live like this forever.


Thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying my blog (and/or the work I make) please consider supporting me by ‘buying me a coffee’ on Ko-fi – thanks!

Categories
Pregnancy Waiting II

Imitating B With Conjunctivitis (34 Weeks / 24th December 2021)

Self-portrait with makeup around my eyes to make them look a bit sore/like when B had conjunctivitis.
Imitating B With Conjunctivitis (34 Weeks / 24th December 2021)
 
#ImitatingBWithTwoRedEyesDueToConjunctivitisIsNotTheNicestPortraitICouldTakeButItHasDominatedOurWeek
#ISeemToHaveBeenInSimilarHealthToHowIWas6WeeksAgoWhenIWasBeingSickALotAndFeelingWeakInGeneral
#IWentToBedFiveDaysAgoFeelingSickAndWokeUpAt1AndWasSickThenSickAgainAnHourLaterAndThenAgainNotLongAfterThat
#ITriedToHaveAShowerAndSleepOnTheSofaButMyNanAlsoCouldNotSleepSoWantedAShowerAndCameIntoTheLivingRoomEarly
#SoIWentBackToBedButDidNotSleepMuchAndKeptBeingSickUntilAbout11ThoughItWasJustWaterThatWasComingUp
#TypicallyItWasTheOneDayWhereBDidNotHaveNurseryAndMyMumWasNotComingOverButTiagoManagedToWorkWhileWatchingBAndIHadALieDown
#InTheAfternoonIHadABathAndBWasQuiteHappyJustSplashingHerHandsInTheWaterAndDroppingHerToysIn
#BHasANewTrickOfPuttingStuffInTheBinAndRippingToiletPaperAndLiftingTheToiletLidUpToPutItInTheToilet
#ITryToDiscourageHerButEvenGettingHerHandTrappedACoupleOfTimesHasNotPutHerOff
#ThisIsProbablyHowSheHasGotConjunctivitisOrMaybeSheGotItFromNursery
#IHadNoticedHerEyesWereABitGunkyButThoughtItWouldPassButByTheNextDayItWasWorse
#IWentToOurLocalPharmacyToGetEyeDropsButTheyWereClosedDueToStaffSickness
#SoMyMumWentToADifferentOneButTheySaidThatTheDropsWereOnlySuitableFor2AndOver
#IKeptWashingHerEyesWithCooledBoiledWaterAndTriedASlightlySaltySolutionTooWhichMightBeWhyTheSkinAroundHerEyesWasSuperRed
#MyDoctorsAreOnlyReallyDealingWithBoostersAtTheMomentSoIWaitedForHalfAnHourToSpeakToTheWalkInCentreButHadCalledAnotherDoctorsByMistake
#SoIWaitedAnotherHalfAnHourToActuallySpeakToTheWalkInAndTheySaidSomeoneWouldCallLater
#TypicallyTheyCalledThe10MinutesThatIWasAwayFromMyPhoneAsBWasAsleepOnMeInHerRoomAndIThoughtIWasJustGoingInToGetHerUpFromHerNap
#After3HoursICalledAgainAndTheySaidSomeoneWouldCallWithinAnHourButTheyCalledBackAbout3HoursLaterAtAround6
#TheCallWasShortAndHePrescribedEyeOintmentThatHeSaidWasOkayForUnder2s
#IShouldHaveAskedForHimWhichPharmacyWasStillOpenButInsteadIHadItSentToOurLocalOneForTheMorning
#WeGotItInTheMorningButSheHadToMissNurseryAsSheWasTooIllToGoReally
#IWasReallyLookingForwardToJustHavingSomeTimeInBedToRestAndRecoverButOhWell
#TiagoWasAlsoFeelingWeakAsHeHadHisBoosterSoWeHaveBeenAVeryFunFamilyThisWeek
#ItIsTheFirstTimeThatWeHaveAllBeenUnderTheWeatherTogetherAndIHopeItDoesNotHappenAgainForAWhile
#TodayWasTheFirstDayIHadEnoughEnergyToDoMyUsualMorningStretchingAndMyAppetiteIsPrettyMuchBackToNormalNow
#IHadMyBoosterVaccineYesterdayAndItWasSoQuickAndOrganisedThisTimeWhichWasGreat
#IAmSoGladThatTheBabyDidNotComeThisWeekAsIHadNoEnergyAtAllSoNowINeedToMakeSureIFeelGoodForWhenLabourBegins
#MyAcidRefluxHasBeenPrettyBadForACoupleOfWeeksSoIAmLookingForwardToThatBeingOver
#HadMy34WeekMidwifeAppointmentAndAllIsFineAlthoughTheBabyIsCurrentlyHeadDownButBackToBack
#ISaidAtLeastTheyAreNotBreechButTheWomanSaidItWouldBeASlowLongLabourWithALotOfBackPainSoLetsHopeTheyMoveBeforeThen

#ImitatingBWithTwoRedEyesDueToConjunctivitisIsNotTheNicestPortraitICouldTakeButItHasDominatedOurWeek

B cries whenever she sees me coming towards her with cotton wool, and giving her ointment is an experience every time.

#ISeemToHaveBeenInSimilarHealthToHowIWas6WeeksAgoWhenIWasBeingSickALotAndFeelingWeakInGeneral

Great.

#IWentToBedFiveDaysAgoFeelingSickAndWokeUpAt1AndWasSickThenSickAgainAnHourLaterAndThenAgainNotLongAfterThat

It’s horrid. My throat then hurt from being sick so much. Fun.

#ITriedToHaveAShowerAndSleepOnTheSofaButMyNanAlsoCouldNotSleepSoWantedAShowerAndCameIntoTheLivingRoomEarly

I wanted to feel nice after all the sick, but it was not meant to be. I thought sleeping on the sofa would be best as to not wake T and B up when I was being sick.

#SoIWentBackToBedButDidNotSleepMuchAndKeptBeingSickUntilAbout11ThoughItWasJustWaterThatWasComingUp

Lovely. It was a long night. I don’t like those nights.

#TypicallyItWasTheOneDayWhereBDidNotHaveNurseryAndMyMumWasNotComingOverButTiagoManagedToWorkWhileWatchingBAndIHadALieDown

He’s got 6 days off over Xmas (it’s currently day 2), so he didn’t want to take more time off. I felt so weak that I could not do much, so lying down in bed was good but I could not sleep.

#InTheAfternoonIHadABathAndBWasQuiteHappyJustSplashingHerHandsInTheWaterAndDroppingHerToysIn

I should have a bath on days like that in future, as it’s a good way to keep B occupied while I don’t feel too crummy as I’m relaxing and resting.

#BHasANewTrickOfPuttingStuffInTheBinAndRippingToiletPaperAndLiftingTheToiletLidUpToPutItInTheToilet

It seemed cute, but obviously we need to properly wash her hands after every time she does it now.

#ITryToDiscourageHerButEvenGettingHerHandTrappedACoupleOfTimesHasNotPutHerOff

I don’t like her wasting toilet paper. We should buy a toilet seat lock really.

#ThisIsProbablyHowSheHasGotConjunctivitisOrMaybeSheGotItFromNursery

She’s had a cold from nursery for over a week.

#IHadNoticedHerEyesWereABitGunkyButThoughtItWouldPassButByTheNextDayItWasWorse

Fail. I just thought it was a bit of sleep or something.

#IWentToOurLocalPharmacyToGetEyeDropsButTheyWereClosedDueToStaffSickness

Great.

#SoMyMumWentToADifferentOneButTheySaidThatTheDropsWereOnlySuitableFor2AndOver

Also great.

#IKeptWashingHerEyesWithCooledBoiledWaterAndTriedASlightlySaltySolutionTooWhichMightBeWhyTheSkinAroundHerEyesWasSuperRed

I wish she understood that we’re trying to help her feel better. It’s such a struggle to try to get them better.

#MyDoctorsAreOnlyReallyDealingWithBoostersAtTheMomentSoIWaitedForHalfAnHourToSpeakToTheWalkInCentreButHadCalledAnotherDoctorsByMistake

Ergh.

#SoIWaitedAnotherHalfAnHourToActuallySpeakToTheWalkInAndTheySaidSomeoneWouldCallLater

Cool.

#TypicallyTheyCalledThe10MinutesThatIWasAwayFromMyPhoneAsBWasAsleepOnMeInHerRoomAndIThoughtIWasJustGoingInToGetHerUpFromHerNap

She woke up early. I planned to get her up, but then wanted to soothe her a bit and she fell asleep on me while I sat on her beanbag. I had to wake her up as my back was hurting and I was bored sitting in the dark without my phone – I would have read my book.

#After3HoursICalledAgainAndTheySaidSomeoneWouldCallWithinAnHourButTheyCalledBackAbout3HoursLaterAtAround6

I understand they’re busy and swamped, so it’s fair enough. I just don’t like waiting around for calls.

#TheCallWasShortAndHePrescribedEyeOintmentThatHeSaidWasOkayForUnder2s

He said that the drops is not okay for under 2s, but the ointment is.

#IShouldHaveAskedForHimWhichPharmacyWasStillOpenButInsteadIHadItSentToOurLocalOneForTheMorning

I hoped that they would be open.

#WeGotItInTheMorningButSheHadToMissNurseryAsSheWasTooIllToGoReally

The instructions said it wasn’t for under 2s, but the NHS website says that chloramphenicol eye stuff can be prescribed for under 2s by a Doctor.

#IWasReallyLookingForwardToJustHavingSomeTimeInBedToRestAndRecoverButOhWell

I was looking forward to just lying down for 4 hours, watching a bit of TV and resting.

#TiagoWasAlsoFeelingWeakAsHeHadHisBoosterSoWeHaveBeenAVeryFunFamilyThisWeek

We had an orzo dish on Sunday night that I’m bored of, but Tiago loves. I threw that up, then didn’t have much on Monday night, but Tiago did and was sick on Tuesday morning. Maybe it was the orzo that triggered off my ‘illness’? Who knows? I’m glad that Tiago doesn’t want to eat it for a while now.

#ItIsTheFirstTimeThatWeHaveAllBeenUnderTheWeatherTogetherAndIHopeItDoesNotHappenAgainForAWhile

I don’t like feeling so weak and helpless.

#TodayWasTheFirstDayIHadEnoughEnergyToDoMyUsualMorningStretchingAndMyAppetiteIsPrettyMuchBackToNormalNow

I kept forcing myself to eat for the baby, but it’s been tough. It’s nice to enjoy food again – just in time for Xmas.

#IHadMyBoosterVaccineYesterdayAndItWasSoQuickAndOrganisedThisTimeWhichWasGreat

Tiago dropped me off and I was confused as they’d moved from a marquee in a car park, into a building. It was so efficient. 5 stars.

I’m still not feeling 100%, which may be down to the booster, but as I felt so bad earlier in the week I feel quite good.

#IAmSoGladThatTheBabyDidNotComeThisWeekAsIHadNoEnergyAtAllSoNowINeedToMakeSureIFeelGoodForWhenLabourBegins

I don’t want to feel that weak again for a long time.

#MyAcidRefluxHasBeenPrettyBadForACoupleOfWeeksSoIAmLookingForwardToThatBeingOver

I went to get something for it, but the pharmacist said it’s best to avoid taking anything really. Being ill this week has meant I haven’t overeaten, so I just need to keep to smaller meals and I sleep with my head elevated, which is meant to be a good thing.

#HadMy34WeekMidwifeAppointmentAndAllIsFineAlthoughTheBabyIsCurrentlyHeadDownButBackToBack #ISaidAtLeastTheyAreNotBreechButTheWomanSaidItWouldBeASlowLongLabourWithALotOfBackPainSoLetsHopeTheyMoveBeforeThen

Well, B was head down in the opposite to back to back until the day before she was born so fingers crossed. Reading about it, it looks like I just need to sit leaning forwards more, not sleep on my back (I often wake up on my back and can’t be bothered to shift), and a lot of babies turn round during labour.

34 weeks pregnant with B comparison:

Self-portrait where I am squatting while in my bra and pants, but my pants are barely visible due to my bump.
I Know It Does Not Look Like It But Swear That I Am Wearing Pants (34 weeks)
 
#TimeIsFlyingBy
#LastNightIHadTheWorstNightsSleepInAges
#JustWakingUpConstantlyAndHavingWeirdDreams
#IPlannedToHaveALieInButOfCourseIWokeUpEarlyAndCouldNotFallBackToSleep
#ItWasGettingLateAndIHadNotFeltTheBabyMovingSoIWasGettingWorried
#EventuallyIFeltMovementsAndWasRelieved
#LastNightTiagoFellAsleepSpooningMyBump
#ISawTheCarSeatTodayAndFreakedOutALittleThinkingWhyDoWeHaveACarSeat
#IMomentarilyForgotIWasPregnant
#WhichIsWeirdAsItDefinitelyIsGettingUncomfortableNow
#TiagoSaidThatHeHasNoticedOnOurDailyWalksThatIAmStartingToWalkABitWeird
#IAskedHimDoYouMeanIAmWaddling
#HeSaidYes
#IDoNotThinkItIsVeryPronouncedButIGuessItMustBeEnoughForTiagoToNotice
#IProbablyWouldNotHaveChosenToBePregnantDuringAPandemic
#ButAtTheSameTimeIFeelLikeIAmNotMissingOutOnStuff
#AndItIsNiceToHaveSomeKindOfCountdown
#AsIThinkALotOfPeopleAreJustWaitingForThingsToChange
#IThoughtMyProjectTitleWasSmartWhenICameUpWithItEarlyOn
#NowItWouldBeMoreLike
#WaitingForThingsInATimeWhenEveryoneIsWaitingForSomething
#ButIGuessTheOldTitleKindOfAppliesToOurEra
#UnlessThingsWillNeverBeTheSameAgain
#WellLikeIHaveSaidBeforeThingsWillNeverBeTheSameAgainForMeAnywaysOnceTheBabyIsBorn
#ThingsWillBeDifferentForTiagoTooButNotToTheSameExtent
#HisBodyWillBeTheSameAndHisWorkShouldStillBeFairlyTheSame
#BeforeIWasPregnantWeWerePrettyMuchTheSameSize
#SameHeightSameShoeSizeICouldWearHisClothesApartFromTrousersWhichICouldFitInButWereALittleTooTight
#IAmJustHappyThatIAmStillExercisingAndIThinkStartingWhenIWasMoreAbleToHelped
#TheSameVideosThatIHaveBeenDoingForMonthsAreGettingHarderToDoNow

Good to know my sleep was also rubbish at 34 weeks last time, but I wasn’t being super sick/feeling weak. I was often waking up at 5 and not being able to sleep again, but with B I am more tired so tend to sleep until she wakes up.

I’m having a lot of weird dreams at the moment too. Super vivid.

I don’t think I am waddling too much at the moment, but usually when I walk I am behind B’s pushchair so it is good support.

This time I did choose to be pregnant during a pandemic. I didn’t think it would be getting worse though (cases are on the rise).

A close-up photo of my belly button. A remake of an image I took at 20 and a half weeks.
My Belly Button Has Never Been So Close Or Perhaps So Far Away (34 weeks)

#ISaidAt20AndAHalfWeeksThatMyBellyButtonHadNeverBeenSoClose
#MaybeNowItIsCloserOrMaybeNot
#CloseToWhatQuestionMarkMyFaceQuestionMark
#IGuessMaybeItIsFurtherAwayNow
#ButItIsFarOut
#MyBellyButtonHasNeverBeenSoFarOut
#ItSoundsLikeASurferOrSomething
#IWishICouldReachMyHeadDownAndRestItOnBump
#IWasSayingWithMyLastPictureThatBabyWasNotMovingMuchAndFreakingMeOut
#ThenTheNextDayItWasMovingAroundLoads
#AndTodayHasBeenAnAverageDay
#EvenSittingOnMyBallIsUncomfortableTheseDays
#WellIFeelComfortableWhilstIAmSatDown
#ThenWhenIStandUpIAmInPain
#LyingDownSittingUpGettingOutOfBedIsAnnoying
#TodayIHadAVideoCallWithTheWomenFromMyNCTGroup
#WeWereTalkingAboutInductionsAndWantingToWait
#ButThenSayingHowUnconfortableWeAreSoWhoKnowsWhatWeWillDecideAtTheTime
#IReadALotOfMyHypnobirthingBookToday
#IHaveBeenGettingABitRubbishAtReadingAndPreparingForBaby
#IStillNeedToDoMyBirthPlan
#SomeWomenOnTheCallWereTalkingAboutHavingTheirHospitalBagsPacked
#IThinkIAmTheOnlyOnePlanningForAHomeBirth
#ButIShouldPackABagJustInCaseAsYouNeverKnow
#IHadNeverHeardAboutNaturalOrGentleCaesareansBeforeDoingTheHypnobirthingCourse
#WithTheBirthPlanItIsABitMoreOfBirthPreferencesThanAPlan
#AndWritingDownWhatYouWouldWantForAnyPossibleSituation
#ItFeelsGoodToKnowMyOptionsAndThatThereAreOptions
#IHaveHeardOfBirthPlansBeingMockedABitButGivingBirthIsABigEventWhichCouldImpactYouForTheRestOfYourLife
#IAmSoGladThatILearnedAboutHypnobirthingAndSeeingBirthInAMorePositiveLight

This is a remake of an image I took at 20 and a half weeks.

It does look really far out this time too, and B likes to touch it when I say ‘where’s the baby?’

Earlier in the week I was getting stressed about movements, but they seem to have been quite active and I have been distracted by B’s eyes and my health.

Our bed is comfier now so I do not have as many pains in bed, but it is still best for me to lie on my left side.

I need to do a birth plan, and reread the hypnobirthing book but I am currently trying to read House of Gucci. Once that is done I am going to focus on baby, I swear. I tried to find B’s baby clothes this morning, but they weren’t where I thought they were, and I need to pack my hospital bag.

The first image on this page is the picture I am referring to in the hashtags.

My sister got me some nice new pyjamas for Xmas, and mentioned my Grandad’s pyjamas.

My Grandad was married to my Nan who we have been living with since late October 2020, so every once in a while I feel sad that Tiago and B and baby X never got to meet him.

B didn’t meet her Portuguese Grandparents until this summer, and she is still yet to meet Tiago’s brother, his wife and their daughter. We did a video call with them all today.

I’m gutted that Tiago’s paternity hasn’t improved since he was off with B, but I’m looking forward to him having two weeks off. He’s going to do the same again – one week of paternity, and one week of annual leave.

It’s good to know that I felt uncomfortable after sitting on the exercise ball, as I thought I didn’t, and I’m getting those pains now.

I didn’t go into another building until I gave birth to B in hospital…


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Categories
Pregnancy Waiting II

Portrait of A Mother Of A Seventeen Month Old (28 Weeks / 14th November 2021)

Self-portrait lying on the bed in a bra and leggings. I am cradling my bump with my right hand and have my left hand resting on my face. I am leaning on and against a maternity pillow.
Portrait Of A Mother Of A Seventeen Month Old (28 Weeks / 14th November 2021)
 
#IKnowIHaveTakenALotOfPicturesOfMyselfLookingTiredInThePastForThisProjectWithinAProject
#ButThisTimeIReallyAmTiredAndBeforeIDoNotThinkIKnewWhatTheMeaningOfTiredWas
#OrMaybeIWasTiredThenButIFeelExhaustedNowAndProbablyShouldBeSavingMyEnergyAndNotTryingToDoABitOfWork
#IWentToBedFourNightsAgoFeelingLikeIWasMaybeGoingToBeSickButThoughtItWouldPass
#IBarelySleptAndGotUpToGoToTheBathroomAroundOneThirtyInTheMorningAndKeptBeingSickThenFinallyStoppedButWasSickAgainAfterASitDown
#BActuallySleptUntilSixForOnceAndIWasSickWhenIGotUpThenButFeltFineEnoughToDoMyMorningExerciseButThenICrashed
#IWentBackToBedAndTWatchedBThenIWatchedBForAnHourThenMyMumCameAndWatchedBUntilLunch
#ThenIGotUpToGiveHerLunchAndSheHadFallenAsleepOnMyMumSoTiagoWatchedHerDuringHisLunchThenSheNappedAndINapped
#IWasSurprisedThatBSleptForTwoHoursButIGotHerUpAndPutHerInOurBedButThenISuddenlyFeltSick
#SoIManagedToPutHerOnTheFloorAndRunToTheBathroomWhereIWasSickAndIMeanSickkk
#IThinkItIsExhaustionAndTheSicknessIsASideEffectOfItThoughIHaveNotBeenSickSinceButHaveFeltLikeIWillBeAtTimes
#BeforeBWasBornIDidUsedToSpendAWeekendInBedAtLeastOnceAYearButObviouslyItIsHardToDoThatNow
#TypicallyItHappenedAfterBStartedNurseryButIGuessMyBodyKnewICouldBeIllSoItWaitedUntilThenAndIHaveNotReallyBeenIllSinceBWasBorn
#BHasBeenABitUpAndDownAsWellButMaybeItIsDueToStartingNurseryAndHavingALeapAndTeethingAndBeingFrustratedAtNotBeingAbleToTalk
#WeGaveHerLunchYesterdayAndSheJustPushedItAllToTheFloorSoICriedAsIWasSoTired
#WeThoughtItWasBecauseSheWasOvertiredSoWeJustPutHerDownForHerNapAndSheWokeUpAfter40Minutes
#TiagoNeededARestAndIFeltTooTiredToLookAfterHerSoIGotIntoHerCotAndRubbedHerBackUntilSheFellBackToSleep
#IManagedToGetOutOfHerCotAndOutOfTheRoomWithoutHerWakingUpAndSheSleptForNearlyTwoMoreHours
#IDoWorryHowIAmGoingToCopeWithTwoKidsButIAmHopingThatIWillSomehowFeelLessTiredWhenTheBabyIsOutAndNotTakingAllMyNutrientsButIDoubtIt
#IHaveBarelyHadAnAppetiteButIHaveBeenMakingMyselfEatForTheBabysSake
#IDidHaveMy28WeeksMidwifeAppointmentThoughAndSheSaidEverythingSeemedFineButThatIShouldDrinkMore
#IDidNotRealiseThatIWasGoingToHaveABloodTestButLuckilyIHadForcedMyselfToEatASandwichBeforeGoing
#SheSaidTheBabyWasMeasuringWellAndThatSheHasAPercentileOf50Percent
#SheToldMeThatBHadAPercentileOf32WhenSheWasBornWhichIDidNotKnowSoThisBabyIsDefinitelyBiggerForNow
#IActuallyThoughtBHadBeenLessThan32SoThatIsGoodToKnow
#SheWasTryingToFigureOutWhereTheBabysHeadWasButSaidItDoesNotMatterAsBTurnedAroundTheDayBeforeSheWasBornAnyways
#ThisWeekendMyParentsAreDueToLookAfterBAndIAmABitNervousWithAllHerEarlyWakings
#WeChangedOurHotelYesterdaySoThatWeAreStayingCloseToOurFavouriteIndianRestaurantInsteadAndTheRoomHasABigBathAsIDoNotKnowIfIWillHaveTheEnergyToSwim
#IHadABathTheOtherDayWhenTiagoHadToTakeACoupleOfHoursOffToLookAfterB
#IWasBoredOfLyingInBedAndThoughtItWouldDoMeGoodAndItWasTheFirstBathIHadEverHadWhilePregnantAndItWasGreatThoughIDidFeelGuiltyForHavingToUseSoMuchWater

#IKnowIHaveTakenALotOfPicturesOfMyselfLookingTiredInThePastForThisProjectWithinAProject #ButThisTimeIReallyAmTiredAndBeforeIDoNotThinkIKnewWhatTheMeaningOfTiredWas

I’m yet to do the shoot, but I think I will be probably lying down or some kind of pose that means little effort for my body.

(Yeah, a classic lie across the bed pose. I was initially wearing a dress, but I didn’t like how it looked in the photos/you couldn’t see my bump as well.)

#OrMaybeIWasTiredThenButIFeelExhaustedNowAndProbablyShouldBeSavingMyEnergyAndNotTryingToDoABitOfWork

I’ve been umming and ahh-ing about whether or not to write this today etc.

#IWentToBedFourNightsAgoFeelingLikeIWasMaybeGoingToBeSickButThoughtItWouldPass #IBarelySleptAndGotUpToGoToTheBathroomAroundOneThirtyInTheMorningAndKeptBeingSickThenFinallyStoppedButWasSickAgainAfterASitDown

I wish I had just made myself be sick before going to bed, but I really hoped it would pass.

#BActuallySleptUntilSixForOnceAndIWasSickWhenIGotUpThenButFeltFineEnoughToDoMyMorningExerciseButThenICrashed

Classic.

#IWentBackToBedAndTWatchedBThenIWatchedBForAnHourThenMyMumCameAndWatchedBUntilLunch

By watching B I mean I just laid on the sofa while she watched TV. I felt bad, but it was all I could do.

#ThenIGotUpToGiveHerLunchAndSheHadFallenAsleepOnMyMumSoTiagoWatchedHerDuringHisLunchThenSheNappedAndINapped

She was just asleep on my Mum’s lap. We (well Tiago) kept her up for an hour and hoped that she would sleep again.

#IWasSurprisedThatBSleptForTwoHoursButIGotHerUpAndPutHerInOurBedButThenISuddenlyFeltSick

It’s good to know that she can nap for a good amount of time after having a short nap not too long before.

The sickness just kind of ‘rose up’.

#SoIManagedToPutHerOnTheFloorAndRunToTheBathroomWhereIWasSickAndIMeanSickkk

Grim. B was just crying and luckily Tiago came upstairs and took her downstairs.

#IThinkItIsExhaustionAndTheSicknessIsASideEffectOfItThoughIHaveNotBeenSickSinceButHaveFeltLikeIWillBeAtTimes

I will probably call the doctors tomorrow just to rule stuff out, but I also don’t want to waste their time.

#BeforeBWasBornIDidUsedToSpendAWeekendInBedAtLeastOnceAYearButObviouslyItIsHardToDoThatNow

Lie in bed and try to sleep, or just watch terrible TV. I did feel better the next night as I just watched TV in bed, and I fell asleep with my phone next to me which I never do – and slept solidly until B woke up at 5.30am.

#TypicallyItHappenedAfterBStartedNurseryButIGuessMyBodyKnewICouldBeIllSoItWaitedUntilThenAndIHaveNotReallyBeenIllSinceBWasBorn

I guess it’s been due, and growing a baby is tiring.

#BHasBeenABitUpAndDownAsWellButMaybeItIsDueToStartingNurseryAndHavingALeapAndTeethingAndBeingFrustratedAtNotBeingAbleToTalk

I try to put myself in her shoes. It must be so annoying not being able to say what you want, though I can guess at times, but sometimes I seem quite off.

#WeGaveHerLunchYesterdayAndSheJustPushedItAllToTheFloorSoICriedAsIWasSoTired

That was my frustration.

#WeThoughtItWasBecauseSheWasOvertiredSoWeJustPutHerDownForHerNapAndSheWokeUpAfter40Minutes

Great.

#TiagoNeededARestAndIFeltTooTiredToLookAfterHerSoIGotIntoHerCotAndRubbedHerBackUntilSheFellBackToSleep

Not the approach I like to take, but I was desperate.

#IManagedToGetOutOfHerCotAndOutOfTheRoomWithoutHerWakingUpAndSheSleptForNearlyTwoMoreHours

I felt like a bit of a champion.

#IDoWorryHowIAmGoingToCopeWithTwoKidsButIAmHopingThatIWillSomehowFeelLessTiredWhenTheBabyIsOutAndNotTakingAllMyNutrientsButIDoubtIt

I do intend to breastfeed again, so she will still be taking nutrients but in a less invasive way to being inside of me I imagine. That’s what I think anyways. The baby is due to double in size between now and birth. *Nervous laugh*

#IHaveBarelyHadAnAppetiteButIHaveBeenMakingMyselfEatForTheBabysSake

It’s been a struggle.

#IDidHaveMy28WeeksMidwifeAppointmentThoughAndSheSaidEverythingSeemedFineButThatIShouldDrinkMore

I really struggled to get a urine sample before I left the house, but I couldn’t see over my bump and so didn’t catch most of it. She said it was enough for the test though. I had drank a lot, but I guess it was old piss. Lovely.

#IDidNotRealiseThatIWasGoingToHaveABloodTestButLuckilyIHadForcedMyselfToEatASandwichBeforeGoing

And drinking all the drinks had helped as it came out quite easily. Hurrah.

#SheSaidTheBabyWasMeasuringWellAndThatSheHasAPercentileOf50Percent #SheToldMeThatBHadAPercentileOf32WhenSheWasBornWhichIDidNotKnowSoThisBabyIsDefinitelyBiggerForNow #IActuallyThoughtBHadBeenLessThan32SoThatIsGoodToKnow

I thought that B had just been over the okay line (I’m not sure what that is, but I thought it was around 10-15%?)

So yeah my suspicions of the baby being bigger have been confirmed. Maybe the first time my body was testing me and thought I could grow a bigger one this time?

#SheWasTryingToFigureOutWhereTheBabysHeadWasButSaidItDoesNotMatterAsBTurnedAroundTheDayBeforeSheWasBornAnyways

Cue a conversation about B’s birth again.

#ThisWeekendMyParentsAreDueToLookAfterBAndIAmABitNervousWithAllHerEarlyWakings

Le sigh.

#WeChangedOurHotelYesterdaySoThatWeAreStayingCloseToOurFavouriteIndianRestaurantInsteadAndTheRoomHasABigBathAsIDoNotKnowIfIWillHaveTheEnergyToSwim

We can also cancel until an hour before check-in so if my parents change their minds, then we can cancel.

This hotel also has a pool, but it is a bit cheaper and we haven’t had food from our favourite Indian restaurant in a long time so it’s a good excuse to change hotel and location.

#IHadABathTheOtherDayWhenTiagoHadToTakeACoupleOfHoursOffToLookAfterB

I think this makes me sound really bad…

#IWasBoredOfLyingInBedAndThoughtItWouldDoMeGoodAndItWasTheFirstBathIHadEverHadWhilePregnantAndItWasGreatThoughIDidFeelGuiltyForHavingToUseSoMuchWater

A lot to cram into the last hashtag, but yeah it was good. I had ran a very shallow bath to begin with and realised I either had to really fill it up or not have a bath. It was weird lifting my bump out of the water as it suddenly felt cold, but also quite heavy?

28 weeks pregnant with B comparison:

Self-portrait of myself nude from my head to knees. There are white sections over my breasts and pubic area.
I Just Want A Nice Record Of My Pregnancy As Maybe I Will Never Be Pregnant Again (28 and a half weeks)
 
#IPlannedToRecreateMyFailedBloodTestsPhotoButIWas7AndAHalfWeeksPregnantThen
#IAmNow28AndAHalfNowSoMyBumpWasTooBig
#SoIRemadeIHaveNeverSeenMyBodyLikeThisBeforeAndItIsSoWeirdInstead
#IHaveTakenNudePicturesBefore
#AndThereAreOthersInTheSeries
#ButIDoNotKnowWhyIFeelSoWeirdAboutHavingThemInThisSeries
#IGuessBecauseTheyAreNotReallyHiding
#AndAllAboutRevealing
#ThoughWhenPostingItIWillHaveToCensorItWhichIsSomewhatARelief
#IHaveBeenMakingSureThatITakeMorePicturesForMyself
#AsMaybeIWillNeverBePregnantAgain
#AndIDoNotActuallyWriteInMyDiaryAboutBeingPregnantThatMuch
#SoThisProjectIsANiceRecordOfIt
#MyBumpIsDefinitelyGettingBigger
#IThinkTheBabyDoublesInSizeBetweenNowAndBirth
#IHaveBeenContinuingMyDanceVideos
#TodayTwoPeopleSaidCongratsOnMyPregnancy
#IHadOnlyHadOneOtherMessageBefore
#SoMaybeItIsFinallyMoreObvious
#MyYouTubeAudienceIsMainlyMaleWhichIsABitWeird
#TodayIGotASexualInstagramMessage
#IThinkTheyFoundMyInstagramViaMyYouTube
#ItIsObviousOnYouTubeAndOnInstagramThatIAmPregnant
#SoItIsMoreWeirdToGetGrossMessages
#ThoughIKnowThatSomePeopleHavePregnancyFetishes
#WhichIsWhyItPutsMeOffSharingNudePhotosOfMyPregnantSelf
#ButItIsAlsoFunnyAsIThinkALotOfPeopleGetPregnantAndDoProfessionalNudeShoots
#EvenIfBeforeTheyWouldNotThinkAboutBeingPhotographedNude
#IJustWantANiceRecordOfMyPregnancy
#MyAppSaysThereAre80DaysLeftIfIGiveBirthOnTheDueDate

Well, spoiler I am pregnant again but it would be nice to have a comparison photo.

I have taken less nudes this time (if any?), but I do need to take at least one like this just as a reminder – and maybe baby X will say ‘Hey Mum, why did you not take a nude portrait with me?’

I am still dancing, but I think I need to be more casual about it with my tiredness and all. No one has commented about my bump yet, but then again I am quite behind with posting them – just like this project. At the time of writing this, this will be my 17th post that I need to post. They’re all ready to go, but yeah I’ve fell behind.

I’m also adding the first photo that I took at 29 weeks on as it talks about my 28 week appointment:

The backdrop is half a plain white wall and half black fabric. I am stood with the wall to my right and the fabric to my left, facing the left of the image. I am wearing a bra and leggings and have my left hand on my hip. Tiago's right hand is resting on my left thigh.
Subject: Leaky Boobs (29 weeks)
 
#IHadAMidwifeAppointmentTheOtherDay
#IAmSupposedToHaveThemEvery3Weeks
#ButTheyAreBeingChangedToEvery4WeeksNow
#IDidTheUsualUrineTestForProteinAndAllWasFine
#MyBloodPressureWasLowInAGoodWayAgain
#SheTriedToDoABloodTestToCheckMyIronLevels
#SheOnlyHadTwoNeedlesInHerBag
#TheRestWereInHerCar
#AndSheCouldNotManageToGetBlood
#SheSaidMyVeinsAreDeep
#IMadeSureIAteAndDrankWaterButObviouslyWasNotEnough
#TheyAreStillDoingHomeBirthsForNow
#AndSheSaidThatMorePeopleAreAskingForHomeBirthsNow
#SheSaidMyMusclesAreSeparatingQuiteALot
#AndThatIMayNeedToDoPhysioAfterBirth
#TiagoStoodAtTheDoorAsSheCheckedTheHeartbeat
#AllWasFine
#SheSaidMyPlacentaIsMainlyAtTheFront
#AndThatMightBeWhyISometimesCanNotFeelTheBaby
#IAmFeelingItMoreThoughParticularlyWhenIAmLyingDownInBed
#OftenICanNotFeelIt
#ButIPutMyHandAtTheBottomOfMyBumpAndICanFeelIt
#IKeepWakingUpAround3am
#WhenIWokeUpAtHalf3TodayMyLeftBoobFeltWeird
#ICouldNotSleepSoIReadForAnHour
#AtSomePointIRealisedThatItHadLeakedABit
#ThatIsTheFirstTimeThatHasHappenedSoItWasKindOfOddButExciting
#IThoughtItWouldNotHappenUntilLaterButLetUsSeeWhenTheRightOneFirstLeaks
#IEmailedMyselfWithTheSubjectOfLeakyBoobToRemindMyselfIncaseIForgotByTheMorning
#IHaveABruiseOnMyRightArmFromTheBloodTestAndIForgotToIncludeItInThePhoto

My midwife appointments are currently every 3 weeks. My blood test was more successful this time too.

No one has mentioned that my muscles have separated this time, which is good – I’ve made an effort to not do anything that might encourage them to separate more.

I think my placenta is at the back this time.

I’m yet to have a leak, so maybe that might happen soon?


Thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying my blog (and/or the work I make) please consider supporting me by ‘buying me a coffee’ on Ko-fi – thanks!

Categories
Pregnancy Waiting II

Imitating B With Her Cuddly Toys (21 Weeks / 25th September 2021)

Self-portrait cuddling about 6 of B's cuddly toys.
Imitating B With Her Cuddly Toys (21 Weeks / 25th September 2021)
 
#ILikeThatBInteractsMoreWithHerCuddlyToysNow
#YesterdaySheWasDraggingOneAroundWithHerThroughOurBedroomsWhichWasNiceToSee
#IWasABitObsessedWithCuddlyToysWhenIWasAKidSoMaybeThatIsWhyILikeThatSheIsGettingIntoThem
#WhenSheCrawlsIntoHerCotIWillIncorporateThemAllIntoTheVersionOfTwinkleTwinkleLittleStarThatISingToHer
#IBasicallyGotBoredOfSingingItAndAddNewBitsToItAllTheTime
#SheLikesToTakeFruitFromTheFruitBowlAndBiteIntoItAndThenTakeAnotherPieceOfFruitUntilItAllHasBiteMarksInIt
#BeforeIGiveHerAFewOfHerCrispsIRustleThePacketAndSheRunsOverToMe
#YesterdaySheGaveMeSuchABigSmileAndClappedHerHandsAtTheSightOfTheBag
#SomeDaysIHaveBeenTakingHerForThreeWalksButSomeDaysWeJustGoForOne
#TwoGirlsAtThePlaygroundTheOtherDayKeptCallingHerABoySoICorrectedThem
#OneStillKeptCallingHerABoySoISaidItIsConfusingAsSheWearsALotOfBlue
#ThenTheOtherGirlSaidWhyIsSheWearingRed
#OurNeighbourReferredToHerAsABoyTheOtherDayAndIFeltTooAwkwardToCorrectHim
#SomeDaysIPutHerInHerPinkLeggingsSoThatIDoNotHaveToDealWithTheAwkwardnessOfPeople
#IUsuallyAskPeopleHowOldTheirLittleOneIsSoThatTheyUsuallySayHeOrSheOrTheirKidsNameAsItIsOftenHardToTellWithYoungKids
#SheCanWalkFurtherNowAndWeSometimesTakeHerOutWithHerReins
#SheLikesToKickThroughAPileOfLeavesButWeSometimesHaveToPickHerUpAsOtherwiseSheWillJustKeepGoingBackToThings
#SheGotABitMoreInvolvedWithHerClassThisWeekAndSeemedToUnderstandMore
#OneThingIsThatAtTimesThereWillBeABasketWithInstrumentsToTakeFromAndThenReturnThemTo
#SheTendsToGoUpToItOnceItIsTimeForItToGoAwayButMaybeSoonSheWillBeABitQuicker
#SheDidSpendHalfOfTheClassJustClimbingOnHerPushchairButIThinkSheEnjoyedItStill
#IHadMySecondVaccineTheOtherDayAndIFeelFineApartFromJustFeelingReallyTired
#ItSeemedALotLessOrganisedThanMyFirstButItWasAtADifferentPlaceAndPeopleHaveJustStartedToHaveBoosterShots
#ThereWasABigQueueAndNotManyChairsButEventuallyIGotOne
#WheneverThePersonRunningReceptionStartedToLookForPeopleToKickOutOfChairsIWouldRubMyBelly
#ThisPlaceWasAlsoLessPrivateAndPeopleCouldSeeMeHavingMyVaccine
#IRealisedYesterdayThatThisWillProbablyBeTheLastTimeThatIWillBePregnantSoIShouldTryToAppreciateItAsMuchAsICan
#TheBabysMovementsAreGettingBiggerNowAndItJustRemindsMeOfWhatABizarreThingPregnancyIs
#IWonderIfSheWillLookALotLikeBOrIfTheyWillLookQuiteDifferentToEachOther
#IAmAlsoTryingToMentallyPrepareMyselfForHowItWillBeHavingTwoKidsAsItWillBeQuiteDifferentHavingABabyToLookAfterThisTime

#ILikeThatBInteractsMoreWithHerCuddlyToysNow

She’s had most of them since she was born, so it’s nice to see her enjoying them more each day.

#YesterdaySheWasDraggingOneAroundWithHerThroughOurBedroomsWhichWasNiceToSee

Partners in crime. I realised it was still in our room when she went to bed, but she didn’t miss it.

#IWasABitObsessedWithCuddlyToysWhenIWasAKidSoMaybeThatIsWhyILikeThatSheIsGettingIntoThem

I’d line them up all around my bed and I used to draw family trees and write biographies for them all. I was a cool kid.

#WhenSheCrawlsIntoHerCotIWillIncorporateThemAllIntoTheVersionOfTwinkleTwinkleLittleStarThatISingToHer

Her crawling into her cot now is great, though sometimes she crawls in before we’ve done the rest of her bedtime routine or without her sleeping bag on.

#IBasicallyGotBoredOfSingingItAndAddNewBitsToItAllTheTime

I started off singing it properly and then will sing something along the lines of:

‘Twinkle twinkle little star, you’re our bunny yes you are, we love you so very much, hope you always stay in touch…’

‘Here’s your squirrel, here’s your bee, here’s your carrot, it’s clear to see…’

Blah blah.

#SheLikesToTakeFruitFromTheFruitBowlAndBiteIntoItAndThenTakeAnotherPieceOfFruitUntilItAllHasBiteMarksInIt

We give her fruit for dessert with most meals. I’m not sure if she’s hungry or just doing it for fun. Obviously if we see her doing it we’ll move the bowl away, but she would happily sink her teeth into everything if she could. Earlier she had my dress in her mouth…

#BeforeIGiveHerAFewOfHerCrispsIRustleThePacketAndSheRunsOverToMe #YesterdaySheGaveMeSuchABigSmileAndClappedHerHandsAtTheSightOfTheBag

They’re ones for kids. Chickpea, quinoa, tomato and something? She does like crisps in general though. If we are eating crisps we have to give her a bit of one or she gets upset.

#SomeDaysIHaveBeenTakingHerForThreeWalksButSomeDaysWeJustGoForOne

It depends on the weather, how I’m feeling, how much energy I have etc.

#TwoGirlsAtThePlaygroundTheOtherDayKeptCallingHerABoySoICorrectedThem #OneStillKeptCallingHerABoySoISaidItIsConfusingAsSheWearsALotOfBlue #ThenTheOtherGirlSaidWhyIsSheWearingRed

I wear so much blue, I just knew that was why she was getting confused.

I feel sad as they are missing out on a lot if they feel like they can’t wear/own things of a certain colour.

#OurNeighbourReferredToHerAsABoyTheOtherDayAndIFeltTooAwkwardToCorrectHim

I thought he knew she was a girl, but maybe he forgot/always sees her wandering around in blue and thought he must be wrong? I don’t know.

#SomeDaysIPutHerInHerPinkLeggingsSoThatIDoNotHaveToDealWithTheAwkwardnessOfPeople

Just thinking about it all makes me feel tired.

#IUsuallyAskPeopleHowOldTheirLittleOneIsSoThatTheyUsuallySayHeOrSheOrTheirKidsNameAsItIsOftenHardToTellWithYoungKids

Some parents dress their kids quite gender neutral and some kids have gender neutral names. Even if I think a child is a certain gender, I try not to assume as sometimes I am wrong. Some parents put their daughter’s hair in girlish styles or put head bands on them, so obviously then it is easier to assume.

#SheCanWalkFurtherNowAndWeSometimesTakeHerOutWithHerReins

It’s nice to see her progessing with her walking.

#SheLikesToKickThroughAPileOfLeavesButWeSometimesHaveToPickHerUpAsOtherwiseSheWillJustKeepGoingBackToThings

Walk through the leaves. Back to the leaves. Sit down and play with the leaves.

#SheGotABitMoreInvolvedWithHerClassThisWeekAndSeemedToUnderstandMore

I was a bit proud.

#OneThingIsThatAtTimesThereWillBeABasketWithInstrumentsToTakeFromAndThenReturnThemTo #SheTendsToGoUpToItOnceItIsTimeForItToGoAwayButMaybeSoonSheWillBeABitQuicker

The teacher will often end up giving her an instrument, then I wait to see if she will put it back. Then I’ll put it back, then she’ll go up to the basket.

#SheDidSpendHalfOfTheClassJustClimbingOnHerPushchairButIThinkSheEnjoyedItStill

Like I’ve said before – if she’s happy, I’m happy.

A Grandmother said to me ‘think we’re in the slow corner’, but her Grandson and B are quite a bit younger than the others. The others are jumping and talking, so there is a bit of an age gap…

#IHadMySecondVaccineTheOtherDayAndIFeelFineApartFromJustFeelingReallyTired

I am struggling to write this as I am so tired. I planned to do it this morning, but I just lay in bed and rested. B will have a nap shortly, so I will nap too – she is currently with Tiago.

#ItSeemedALotLessOrganisedThanMyFirstButItWasAtADifferentPlaceAndPeopleHaveJustStartedToHaveBoosterShots

Maybe they booked into too many people for booster shots?

#ThereWasABigQueueAndNotManyChairsButEventuallyIGotOne

I didn’t want to take one close to the ‘vaccine zone’, but eventually one came up right in the back corner. Perfect.

#WheneverThePersonRunningReceptionStartedToLookForPeopleToKickOutOfChairsIWouldRubMyBelly

I had stood up for about 5/10 minutes before I got the chair. I think I waited about 40 minutes in the end before my number was called.

#ThisPlaceWasAlsoLessPrivateAndPeopleCouldSeeMeHavingMyVaccine

The first time was in a health centre, but this was in a tent. It’s fine, but it was weird knowing some people could see me – including a very vocal guy who acted like he was the only one who had to wait.

#IRealisedYesterdayThatThisWillProbablyBeTheLastTimeThatIWillBePregnantSoIShouldTryToAppreciateItAsMuchAsICan

I have already really forgotten how it was to be pregnant with B. I will be glad to not go through it again as it is quite nerve-wracking.

#TheBabysMovementsAreGettingBiggerNowAndItJustRemindsMeOfWhatABizarreThingPregnancyIs

It’s just weird feeling something moving inside of you. It is cool, but sometimes it is just really odd.

#IWonderIfSheWillLookALotLikeBOrIfTheyWillLookQuiteDifferentToEachOther

Only time will tell. It’d be nice if they looked quite alike I think, but if one looks more like me and more like T then that is also cool. But I don’t really mind.

#IAmAlsoTryingToMentallyPrepareMyselfForHowItWillBeHavingTwoKidsAsItWillBeQuiteDifferentHavingABabyToLookAfterThisTime

It was great when B had 5 naps a day. This time it does not matter so much as B will probably only be having 1 by the time baby X is born. I just need to do my best and rest when I can.

21 weeks pregnant with B comparison:

Self-portrait standing on one leg while naked.
Have I Mentioned That Pregnancy Is So Weird? (21 Weeks)
 
#FinallyGotTheScreeningResults
#TheScanPersonSaidToSpeakToMyMidwifeButTheMidwifeSaidToPhoneTheHospital
#PhonedTheHospitalAndGotPassedAround
#ButGotAPhoneCallBackWhichSaidIWasLowRiskForTheThreeSyndromes
#IAmJustGladThatTheyDidNotLoseTheBloodSampleOrResults
#AsIDoNotWantAnotherUnnecessaryBloodTest
#TheLetterGotLostInThePostSoTheyAreSendingAnotherOne
#ItIsReassuringToFeelTheBabyMovingAboutIt
#ThoughItAlsoWorriesMeWhenIFeelNothing
#INoticeTheMovementsMoreWhenIAmSatDownDrinkingWaterAndNotStressing
#IThinkItDidNotReactToMyStarJumpsTheOtherDayAsItIsUsedToMeExercisingAndDancingAbout
#ButItIsWeirdWhenYouFeelTheMovements
#ThatThereIsALittleSomeonePawingInsideYou
#HaveIMentionedThatPregnancyIsSoWeird
#IKnowIHaveSaidItManyTimesAlready
#IGetWorriedAboutThePregnancySometimesAndIExpressThis
#IKnowThatPeopleAreTryingToBeReassuring
#ButSomeoneTellingMeThatEverythingIsAndWillBeFineDoesNotAssureMe
#YouCanBeTheHealthiestPersonInTheWorldWhateverThatMeans
#ButThatDoesNotMeanThatYourBabyWillBeAbsolutelyFine
#PregnancyIsNotLikeTakingATestWhereIfYouStudyYouCanDoYourBest
#PregnancyIsUnpredictableAndYouCanNotControlItAndTheOutcome
#IAmSureThingsWillAllBeFineButItIsGoodToBeRealistic
#PeopleKnowAboutMyPregnancyNowAndIFeelAnxiousThatItIsOutInTheOpen
#AsWhatIfThingsGoWrongAndIHaveToTellPeople
#ButIAmQuiteHonestAboutThingsAndIAmSureIWillMakeWorkAboutThings
#IJustWishIHadBeenMoreHonestAboutTryingToGetPregnantAndMadeWorkAboutIt
#IMadeWorkAboutItButTheTextThatIWroteWasNotReallyAboutIt
#ThisPhotoIsSimilarToAPhotoITookLastYearWhenIWasTryingToGetPregnant
#IThoughtIShouldDocumentMyBodyInCaseIGotPregnantAndSoTheMainDifferenceInThisOneIsThatIHaveABumpButAlsoNoTan

This time my results came within a week.

Like I’ve said 100 times before, I don’t think pregnancy will ever stop not being weird to me.

I will also never stop not liking the fact that I have little control over pregnancy. It is stressful.

This time I did make work about wanting to be pregnant again, though I do feel awkward about it. I know that a lot of people have struggles with fertility or trying to get pregnant or getting through a pregnancy, and at times I do wonder why has it been quite straight forward for us as a family? I do feel guilty about it at times.

It Is Kind Of Nice Knowing That I Am Never Alone (21 and a half weeks)
 
#WellIAmIllAgain
#IThoughtThatMaybeICouldBeatTheColdThatIFeltComingOnButNo
#ItIsNotAsBadAsTheLastTwoTimesAtLeast
#ItIsJustABitAnnoying
#IThinkIAmGettingUsedToMyBodyChangingNow
#ICanNotReallyRememberWhatItLookedLikeBefore
#WellIAmRemindedByLookingAtOldSelfPortraits
#ButIGuessThisIsMyNewNormal
#IThinkIWillMissHavingABump
#ThoughMaybeIWillNotBeSayingThatSoonWhenItGetsMoreUncomfortable
#SoMaybeIWillMissHavingA21AndAHalfWeeksBump
#ItIsKindOfNiceKnowingThatIAmNeverAlone
#WasEatingMyBreakfastThisMorningAndIFeltItMove
#ItMadeMeImagineMyKidInACoupleOfYearsTime
#WatchingMeWheneverIEatAndWantingSomeOfIt
#ThisMorningItWasKindOfPawingAtMe
#LikeGiveMeSomeOfYourFood
#ButObviouslyIGuessItWasHavingTheNutrientsFromItOrWhatever
#ItSeemsToMoveMoreWhenIAmAboutToEat
#MaybeItSensesMyExcitement
#OrItIsJustACoincidence
#WhenItMovesIFeelReassured
#ThenIFeelStressedWhenItDoesNot
#IThinkItHasHadTheHiccupsAFewTimes
#AsTheOtherDayIThoughtItWasMovingButItHadARhythmToit
#AndMyMumHasMentionedThatSheUsedToFeelMySisterHiccuping
#SoWeird
#ItStillBlowsMyMindThatThereIsALittleHumanInMeAndOneDayItWillComeOut
#IKindOfJustWantToKeepItInMyBellyForever
#ButIAlsoWantToMeetTheLittleHumanThatIHaveGrownInsideMe

‘#ItMadeMeImagineMyKidInACoupleOfYearsTime
#WatchingMeWheneverIEatAndWantingSomeOfIt’

Well it hasn’t been a couple of years yet and B likes to eat everything that I have.

I definitely get stressed when I can’t feel many movements. Sometimes I am just busier though so have less opportunities to feel her.

As my bump gets bigger this time it is weird thinking that I probably will not ever be pregnant again, but being pregnant with a toddler is quite different to being pregnant without another kid. As B wants picking up a lot/needs to be as otherwise we will never get home from walks, having a bump does make it harder to pick her up/I get worried that maybe I am overstretching my bump.


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Categories
Pregnancy Waiting II

Eleventh Family Portrait (20 Weeks / 19th September 2021)

Family portrait where T and I are smiling at B, while B holds the camera remote. Her face has been photoshopped so you can see her hair being repeated. I am holding a baby scan.
Eleventh Family Portrait (20 Weeks / 19th September 2021)
 
#WellItHasBeenTwoMonthsSinceWeLastDidAFamilyPortraitButWeFinallyGotRoundToIt
#TheWeatherWasMiserableSoItWasAGoodExcuseToDoAShootRatherThanGoToThePlayground
#BBarelySatStillAndRanOffALotSoWeWillHaveToSeeWhichOneIChoose
#TheMainAdditionToThePortraitThisTimeIsOfCourseTheLatestScanOfBabyX
#TAndBWaitedOutsideTheHospitalAndBHadHerLunchWhileIWentInByMyself
#OnlyThoseWhoWerePregnantWereAllowedToWaitInTheWaitingRoomWhilePartnersHadToWaitByTheCoffeeShop
#ItDoesNotMakeMuchSenseAsSurelyCovidIsMoreLikelyToSpreadAtTheCoffeeShopThanInTheWaitingRoomButWhatever
#TheyWereShowingBargainHuntSoIWasQuiteHappyWatchingThatWhileIWaitedAgesAsTheyWereRunningLate
#FinallyWentInAndTheGuyAskedIfIWantedToKnowTheSexAndISaidYesIfYouCanFindOut
#IHadAskedTiagoIfHeWantedMeThemToWriteItDownSoWeCouldDiscoverItTogetherButHeSaidNahYouCanJustTellMe
#BeforeLongHeSaidAreYouReadyAndILookedAtTheScreenAndAllICouldSeeWasSomethingBetweenTheLegsSoISaidBoy
#HeSaidNoGirlAndISaidOhItMustBeAHandAndHeSaidNoItIsThePlacentaSoObviouslyIHaveNoClueAboutScans
#IHadItInMyHeadAgainThatMaybeIWasHavingABoyThisTimeButIWasGoingToBeHappyEitherWayAndIAm
#HeCheckedAllTheOrgansAndLimbsButWasStrugglingToGetAFewMeasurements
#HeSaidIfHeCouldNotGetThemIWouldHaveToComeBackInTwoWeeksButHeSentMeToEmptyMyBladderAndThenGotThemPhew
#IWentOutAndTiagoAndBWereWalkingAboutAndTiagoSaidDoYouKnow
#ISaidWhatDoYouWantToKnowIfBIsHavingALittleBrotherOrALittleSisterAndIToldHim
#MyNanSaidWeWillHaveToHaveAnotherBabyToHaveABoyAndISaidNanThatIsNotHowItWorksAndTwoIsEnough
#WeShowedBTheScanAndSaidItIsYourLittleSisterButSheStillDoesNotGetItYet
#SheHasASnottyNoseAtTheMomentWhichIsSuperDelightful
#SheMightHavePickedItUpFromPuttingHerHandsInMyNansBirdBathsAndThenLickingHerFingers
#OrFromHerNewFoundFreedomInThePlaygroundAndTouchingEverything
#OrFromRummagingInTheBinAtThePlayground
#AGrandmotherWasSayingThatTooManyParentsDoNotLetTheirKidsGetDirtyTheseDays
#BWasPullingEverythingOutOfTheBinAndSoISaidMaybePlayingInTheBinIsABitTooMuchAndSheAgreed
#SheNowLikesToTryToClimbUpTheSlideWhichIsFineIfItIsQuiteEmpty
#AsSheGenerallyWakesUpAround7NowITakeHerOutForAMorningWalkABitLaterAndWeSeemToMeetMoreKidsHerAgeWhichIsNice
#SometimesSheWillJustPlayWithHerPushchairForAWhileBeforeGoingOffToExplore
#IThinkHerSecondNapMaySoonBeOnTheWayOutAsSheIsTakingLongerToFallAsleepAndOnlyHad10MinutesTheOtherDay
#IWillTryToKeepItForAsLongAsPossibleButWhenSheShowsMoreSignsThatSheIsReallyDoneWithItThenWeWillDropIt

(I am not so sure about the editing of B’s face, though I think I did try a few different things. I might give it another go. 3rd December: I tried. This will do…)

#WellItHasBeenTwoMonthsSinceWeLastDidAFamilyPortraitButWeFinallyGotRoundToIt

My main excuse is we were away for a while and then we’ve been getting back into the flow, but that’s lame.

#TheWeatherWasMiserableSoItWasAGoodExcuseToDoAShootRatherThanGoToThePlayground

I was worried about when we would fit it in, so it worked out well. We were going to see my parents today, but B has a cold so we will go next weekend instead to avoid passing it on.

#BBarelySatStillAndRanOffALotSoWeWillHaveToSeeWhichOneIChoose

There was a point where she put her hand in front of the camera, and she held onto my remote for the whole shoot – I just set up the camera to shoot in intervals as it is easier with a wriggly child.

#TheMainAdditionToThePortraitThisTimeIsOfCourseTheLatestScanOfBabyX

Ooh la la. This also felt like a good time to do the shoot as I knew I would talk about the scan.

#TAndBWaitedOutsideTheHospitalAndBHadHerLunchWhileIWentInByMyself

We had no one available to watch B, so it was how it had to be. I just hoped it would not be bad news as I did not want to receive it by myself.

#OnlyThoseWhoWerePregnantWereAllowedToWaitInTheWaitingRoomWhilePartnersHadToWaitByTheCoffeeShop #ItDoesNotMakeMuchSenseAsSurelyCovidIsMoreLikelyToSpreadAtTheCoffeeShopThanInTheWaitingRoomButWhatever

I am sure they have a good reason, but it just seems more a case of looking like they are trying to do something because of Covid.

#TheyWereShowingBargainHuntSoIWasQuiteHappyWatchingThatWhileIWaitedAgesAsTheyWereRunningLate

There were two people doing scans, and of course mine was the one running late. The other one seemed to be running early…

#FinallyWentInAndTheGuyAskedIfIWantedToKnowTheSexAndISaidYesIfYouCanFindOut

B was a surprise as she would not ‘present’ during scans, which I was happy about as I wanted it to be a surprise, but this time I have less patience.

#IHadAskedTiagoIfHeWantedMeThemToWriteItDownSoWeCouldDiscoverItTogetherButHeSaidNahYouCanJustTellMe

I was a bit relieved that he was casual about it, as I did not really want to have to ask, but I would have of course.

#BeforeLongHeSaidAreYouReadyAndILookedAtTheScreenAndAllICouldSeeWasSomethingBetweenTheLegsSoISaidBoy

Visions of B playing games with her little brother running through my head instantly.

#HeSaidNoGirlAndISaidOhItMustBeAHandAndHeSaidNoItIsThePlacentaSoObviouslyIHaveNoClueAboutScans

Lol, I’m alway tricked. I thought B was a boy when they showed me her after she was born as all I could see was the umbilical cord.

#IHadItInMyHeadAgainThatMaybeIWasHavingABoyThisTimeButIWasGoingToBeHappyEitherWayAndIAm

I was sure that B was going to be a boy, mainly as T always talked to my bump saying my little boy. He was doing that again this time…

I don’t really believe in the whole way that your bump hangs, but it looked similar to last time so I had thought maybe a girl, as well. Well, it’s only 50/50 isn’t it?!

#HeCheckedAllTheOrgansAndLimbsButWasStrugglingToGetAFewMeasurements

I think I had to go back again with B, or maybe that was the previous scan. They all blur into one…

#HeSaidIfHeCouldNotGetThemIWouldHaveToComeBackInTwoWeeksButHeSentMeToEmptyMyBladderAndThenGotThemPhew

I was relieved as these appointments are much more of a faff now with having a kid already, and when they run late and end up taking ages they are quite time consuming.

#IWentOutAndTiagoAndBWereWalkingAboutAndTiagoSaidDoYouKnow

I saw a guy close to them who had been smiling at B.

#ISaidWhatDoYouWantToKnowIfBIsHavingALittleBrotherOrALittleSisterAndIToldHim

The guy said congrats. Tiago was happy, especially when I said the baby is growing well and everything looks good.

#MyNanSaidWeWillHaveToHaveAnotherBabyToHaveABoyAndISaidNanThatIsNotHowItWorksAndTwoIsEnough

She had two kids and always wanted more. She used the excuse that she has 8 siblings, but I said it is only because contraception didn’t really exist then otherwise I doubt her mum would have had so many. She said true…

#WeShowedBTheScanAndSaidItIsYourLittleSisterButSheStillDoesNotGetItYet

Or maybe she does and is just pretending that she doesn’t.

#SheHasASnottyNoseAtTheMomentWhichIsSuperDelightful

I called it her marathon nose this morning as it is more than runny… (I’m so funny.)

#SheMightHavePickedItUpFromPuttingHerHandsInMyNansBirdBathsAndThenLickingHerFingers

We keep pulling her away from them, but she does not care. I was a bit slow the other day…

#OrFromHerNewFoundFreedomInThePlaygroundAndTouchingEverything

It is like taking a different kid to the playground these days.

#OrFromRummagingInTheBinAtThePlayground

Again, I pulled her away from it but she just kept going back.

#AGrandmotherWasSayingThatTooManyParentsDoNotLetTheirKidsGetDirtyTheseDays #BWasPullingEverythingOutOfTheBinAndSoISaidMaybePlayingInTheBinIsABitTooMuchAndSheAgreed

I was glad she agreed, otherwise I was going to be a bit concerned.

#SheNowLikesToTryToClimbUpTheSlideWhichIsFineIfItIsQuiteEmpty

Her shoes are so grippy that they help her a lot, but hinder her if she wants to slide down, which to be honest she rarely does. I think she also likes to hang on the slide and use it as a watch tower.

#AsSheGenerallyWakesUpAround7NowITakeHerOutForAMorningWalkABitLaterAndWeSeemToMeetMoreKidsHerAgeWhichIsNice

We were going out a bit too early before. Yesterday there were so many kids around her age, but I guess it was because it was a Saturday.

#SometimesSheWillJustPlayWithHerPushchairForAWhileBeforeGoingOffToExplore

B loves to climb on it, or play with the harness.

#IThinkHerSecondNapMaySoonBeOnTheWayOutAsSheIsTakingLongerToFallAsleepAndOnlyHad10MinutesTheOtherDay

I was hoping to have a nap, but oh well.

#IWillTryToKeepItForAsLongAsPossibleButWhenSheShowsMoreSignsThatSheIsReallyDoneWithItThenWeWillDropIt

I think it is usually dropped by 17 months, so she has less than 2 months left. Earlier I put her to sleep without her sleeping bag, just as she crawled into her cot and seemed quite happy so I did not want to take her out and put her in it – I had tried to get her to come out and have it put on, but nope.

20 weeks pregnant with B comparison:

Close-up of my belly button.
My Belly Button Has Never Been So Close (20 and a half weeks)
 
#IGuessItMustBeWeirderForPeopleWhoHaveInnies
#ItHasBeenMoreOutForAFewWeeks
#ButIAmStartingToThinkThatMaybeItHasAlwaysBeenLikeThis
#ButBecauseMyBellyIsGrowingThenItIsCloserToMe
#IFeelLikeItWasHarderToCleanBeforeThough
#InOtherNewsIHadMy20WeekScanToday
#WasRelievedToSeeAHeartbeatVeryQuickly
#ThoughTheScannerWasQuietALotWhichWorriedMe
#IGuessSheWasJustConcentratingOnCheckingThings
#AtOnePointWeCouldSeeItMovingItsMouthWhichWasFunny
#SheDidAllTheChecksApartFromThree
#SheAskedMeToGoToTheLooAndThenJumpUpAndDown
#TheBabyWasInABallAndWouldNotBudge
#SheHadMeRockingMyHipsFromSideToSide
#ItWouldNotMove
#SheMadeMeDrinkASugaryDrinkAndGoForAWalk
#ItWouldNotMove
#SheHadMeDoingStarjumps
#IWasImpressedWithHowManyIDidBut
#ItWouldNotMove
#SoIHaveToGoBackIn2To3Weeks
#IHopeEverythingIsOkay
#IStillHaveNotHadMyScreeningResultsFrom7PlusWeeksAgo
#IJustKeptLaughingAtTheMonitor
#WeHaveAPictureOfItLookingLikeAGrumpyOldMan
#WhenSheShowedUsItsFaceBeforeItLookedMoreLikeAPuppyThanABaby
#ThenSheShowedUsItsSpineSoMuchThatIComparedItToADinosaur
#SheGaveUsThePicturesForFreeAsSheSaidTheBabyWasInSuchABadPosition
#ICanDefinitelyFeelTheBabyMovingAroundNow
#ItTypicallyWasMovingBeforeAndAfterTheAppointment

My belly button seemed quite pushed out from an early stage this time, but I didn’t document it as it was not so interesting to me this time.

Scans went quite differently – with baby X it was a lot less faff and we found out that it’s a girl. With B we didn’t find out until she was born, and I had to go back so they could take all the measurements. I’m interested to see if this will reflect in their personalities, but I would say that B is pretty chill, so will baby X be even more chilled? We will have to wait and see.


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Categories
Pregnancy Waiting II

Imitating B Hiding Behind The Curtain In Tiago’s Parents’ Living Room (18 Weeks / 2nd September 2021)

Self-portrait hiding behind a thin curtain. I am pressing my head into it so you can see my hair and a bit of my face.
Imitating B Hiding Behind The Curtain In Tiago’s Parents’ Living Room (18 Weeks / 2nd September 2021)
 
#TheOtherDayWeWerePlayingInTheLivingRoomAndThenISuddenlyCouldNotFindB
#SheWasJustSittingQuietlyBehindTheCurtainThoughSometimesSheStandsAndMessesAbout
#SheHasStartedToTurnInCirclesWhichSheFindsHilariousAndIsCuteToSee
#SheNowAlsoPointsToStuffWhichIsGood
#ThisMayOrMayNotBeFromMeSingingAndDoingTheActionsToWindTheBobbinUpAMillionTimes
#TheOtherDayBMetHerSecondCousinWhoIsAboutFourMonthsYounger
#TheirCommonInterestsAreAnimalsFruitAndKeys
#ThereWereACoupleOfKittensInTheGardenWhereWeWereEatingDinnerAndBWasEnjoyingTalkingToThem
#TiagoAndACoupleOfFriendsFoundThreeKittensThatHadBeenAbandonedTheOtherDayWhileFixingSomeGardenWalls
#LuckilyTheyFoundThemAndTookThemToALocalGroceryShopAsACatCharityTheyCalledWasFull
#WeKeepTalkingAboutThemAndItIsSuchAShameThatWeCouldNotHaveKeptThemButIHopeTheyFoundAGoodHomeOrHomes
#WeHaveStartedToTakeBOutWithUsMoreInTheEveningAndTwoNightsInARowWeHaveReturnedWithHerAsleep
#WeRememberedToTakeHerToothbrushAndBrushHerTeethBeforeGettingInTheCarTheSecondTime
#WeHaveBeenWakingUpToTheSoundOfOurAlarmMoreLatelyButIDoWonderIfThisWillHappenWhenWeReturnHome
#TwoNightsAgoIWasLyingInTiagosArmsInTheNightAndAfterAWhileHePanickedAndSaidWhereIsB
#WeBothStartedToLookAroundButThenRealisedSheWasInHerCot
#TheSameNightIWasSatUpOnTheSideOfTheBedForAbout5MinutesWaitingForBAndTAsIThoughtWeWereOutside
#TheRoomWasPitchBlackButAfterAWhileIRealisedICouldHearTheSoundMachineSoKnewWeWereAtHomeSoIWentBackToSleep
#IHaveBeenHavingQuiteVividDreamsLatelyWithTheOneLastNightBeingAWholeEpisodeAboutLookingAfterMyParentsAnimalsAndThinkingIWasGoingOnHolidayWithFriends
#LastWeekIHadOneWhereIFilledUpAnEmptyOneKiloYoghurtBucketWithEarWax
#YesterdayIHadSuchIntenseCrampsInTheMorningThatIStartedToGetConcerned
#IDidNotWantToOverreactSoILookedOnlineAndItSoundedLikeItCouldBeDehydrationAndOrJustMyBodyStretching
#SoIDrankMoreWaterAndIDidFeelBetter
#YesterdayIGotUpTooFastFromSittingOnTheToiletAndIThinkIExperiencedRoundLigamentPain
#WeWillGoHomeInACoupleOfDaysSoTodayWeNeedToRunSomeErrandsAndGetOurCovidTestsDoneWhichIAmWorriedAbout
#ThereAreOnly20ActiveCasesHereSoItIsUnlikelyWeHaveItButYouNeverKnow
#IAmLookingForwardToGoingBackToOurRoutineAtHomeThoughIWillMissOurRandomExcursionsAndGoingOutAndAboutSoMuch
#TheMainChangeWeWantToMakeWhenWeGetAHomeIsToGetAFoldingDiningTableSoWeCanBothSitWithBWhenSheEats
#IMissSleepingInOurBedAsItIsMuchBiggerAndComfortable
#IfMyBodyFeelsThisAchyAndAwfulNowThenIAmReallyNotLookingForwardToBeingMorePregnant

#TheOtherDayWeWerePlayingInTheLivingRoomAndThenISuddenlyCouldNotFindB

The door was shut and I was so confused. There are not that many places for her to hide in the room…

#SheWasJustSittingQuietlyBehindTheCurtainThoughSometimesSheStandsAndMessesAbout

We do play a lot of ‘peekaboo’ with it.

I just need to try and take a photo with it now when it’s not in use (or Tiag’s parents are not there) as otherwise I will feel quite awkward.

#SheHasStartedToTurnInCirclesWhichSheFindsHilariousAndIsCuteToSee

Tiago’s Mum said she was doing it in the living room, then we saw her doing it outside. She usually falls down after 1 or 2 rotations.

#SheNowAlsoPointsToStuffWhichIsGood

Mainly the photos/paintings on the wall. The photo of T on the wall, and the paintings by Tiago’s Grandmother which are of many things but she likes the ones of flowers the most.

#ThisMayOrMayNotBeFromMeSingingAndDoingTheActionsToWindTheBobbinUpAMillionTimes

The whole ‘point to the ceiling, point to the floor, point to the window, point to the door’ saga. She points to none of them.

#TheOtherDayBMetHerSecondCousinWhoIsAboutFourMonthsYounger #TheirCommonInterestsAreAnimalsFruitAndKeys

I really don’t get how cousins work after first cousins, but his Mum is Tiago’s first cousin and I think they are second cousins?

They were both eating a lot of fruit, and playing with a set of keys.

#ThereWereACoupleOfKittensInTheGardenWhereWeWereEatingDinnerAndBWasEnjoyingTalkingToThem

Some say talking, some say yelling.

#TiagoAndACoupleOfFriendsFoundThreeKittensThatHadBeenAbandonedTheOtherDayWhileFixingSomeGardenWalls

They were fixing ‘curraletas’, which are the traditional way of growing grapes in the area.

#LuckilyTheyFoundThemAndTookThemToALocalGroceryShopAsACatCharityTheyCalledWasFull

They had been there one day the week before. It’s not a road where many people walk down and they would have been hidden. Luckily the weather was okay and they had got there early in the morning.

#WeKeepTalkingAboutThemAndItIsSuchAShameThatWeCouldNotHaveKeptThemButIHopeTheyFoundAGoodHomeOrHomes

I really hope they are okay. I am guessing this kind of thing happens more than we like to, but it may be how we end up with pets in the future…

#WeHaveStartedToTakeBOutWithUsMoreInTheEveningAndTwoNightsInARowWeHaveReturnedWithHerAsleep

We had been out 3 nights in a row. I was relieved to stay at home last night. We’d like to have a date night – just T and I – but it may not happen before we leave now. We have two nights left…

#WeRememberedToTakeHerToothbrushAndBrushHerTeethBeforeGettingInTheCarTheSecondTime

Hurrah.

#WeHaveBeenWakingUpToTheSoundOfOurAlarmMoreLatelyButIDoWonderIfThisWillHappenWhenWeReturnHome

Last night she went to bed at 8pm after having dinner at 6.30pm and she woke up when we woke her up at 7am, so that was good. The other nights she had been going to bed 2/3 hours past her bedtime, so it’s good to know she can do it without staying up late late. We’ll have to see if this routine works in the UK.

#TwoNightsAgoIWasLyingInTiagosArmsInTheNightAndAfterAWhileHePanickedAndSaidWhereIsB

He knew it was me, but at some point he thought I was B, and when he realised I wasn’t he panicked.

#WeBothStartedToLookAroundButThenRealisedSheWasInHerCot

Sleepily panicking in the dark.

#TheSameNightIWasSatUpOnTheSideOfTheBedForAbout5MinutesWaitingForBAndTAsIThoughtWeWereOutside

I must have been dreaming and then woke up. I was just sat patiently waiting for them.

#TheRoomWasPitchBlackButAfterAWhileIRealisedICouldHearTheSoundMachineSoKnewWeWereAtHomeSoIWentBackToSleep

It’s so weird. She’s sleeping less than half a metre from Tiago and we’re getting worked up a lot – as we can’t find her or whatever after waking up.

#IHaveBeenHavingQuiteVividDreamsLatelyWithTheOneLastNightBeingAWholeEpisodeAboutLookingAfterMyParentsAnimalsAndThinkingIWasGoingOnHolidayWithFriends

They don’t have many animals, but in my dream they did. They weren’t people I knew from ‘real life’ either – I think they were just based on people I knew or something.

#LastWeekIHadOneWhereIFilledUpAnEmptyOneKiloYoghurtBucketWithEarWax

There was more to the dream, which I have already forgotten. We have a lot of empty yoghurt tubs at home…

#YesterdayIHadSuchIntenseCrampsInTheMorningThatIStartedToGetConcerned

T started to message around about where I could go for a scan.

#IDidNotWantToOverreactSoILookedOnlineAndItSoundedLikeItCouldBeDehydrationAndOrJustMyBodyStretching

I know my body is stretching a lot, but it felt more intense than normal.

#SoIDrankMoreWaterAndIDidFeelBetter

Sometimes I forget to drink. We went out for a quick breakfast (just a cheese sandwich), so I drank water instead of my favourite chocolate milk.

#YesterdayIGotUpTooFastFromSittingOnTheToiletAndIThinkIExperiencedRoundLigamentPain

From reading what my pains could be I thought that I’d had been having round ligament pain earlier in the day. This seemed to fit the description more… I need to start getting up slower.

#WeWillGoHomeInACoupleOfDaysSoTodayWeNeedToRunSomeErrandsAndGetOurCovidTestsDoneWhichIAmWorriedAbout

We will go out in a minute, while T’s Mum can watch B.

#ThereAreOnly20ActiveCasesHereSoItIsUnlikelyWeHaveItButYouNeverKnow

Well it is getting passed about somehow.

#IAmLookingForwardToGoingBackToOurRoutineAtHomeThoughIWillMissOurRandomExcursionsAndGoingOutAndAboutSoMuch

More our base than routine – all of B’s stuff and having a bit more of our own space. B has been practicing her climbing a lot, so I think she will enjoy using her climbing frame a lot again.

#TheMainChangeWeWantToMakeWhenWeGetAHomeIsToGetAFoldingDiningTableSoWeCanBothSitWithBWhenSheEats

Usually one of us watches B in the kitchen and the other one sits in the living room. It’ll be nice if we can just sit together.

#IMissSleepingInOurBedAsItIsMuchBiggerAndComfortable

My shoulders ache. My hips ache. The bed is super creaky, so I have to try to be quiet when I turn over as to not wake B.

#IfMyBodyFeelsThisAchyAndAwfulNowThenIAmReallyNotLookingForwardToBeingMorePregnant

I’m probably not even half way yet, and I’m feeling it.

When we get home I need to exercise/stretch more. I feel like I’ve lost some of my fitness for sure.

Self-portrait where I am nude with a white space cutting through my breasts. My right hand is wrapped around my back and peeking out from behind my left arm. My left arm is supporting my bump.
 I Have Never Seen My Body Like This Before And It Is So Weird (18 and a half weeks)

#WellIAmIllAgain
#ItIsMainlyACoughButICoughedSoMuchYesterdayMorningThatIThrewUp
#IAmJustTryingToDrinkLotsOfWaterButEarlierTheWaterCutOut
#ItIsMeantToGoOffTomorrowSoThatWasWeirdButItIsBackOnNow
#SawAChartEarlierThatShowsIAmInMy5thMonthOfPregnancy
#ItIsGoingSoFast
#IDefinitelyJustLookLikeABlownUpVersionOfMyselfNow
#IHaveNeverSeenMyBodyLikeThisBeforeAndItIsSoWeird
#IAmStillNervousAsItHasBeen6WeeksSinceISawTheBabyInMyBelly
#TodayIWasThinkingHowOddItIsThatInSomeMonthsTimeWeCouldHaveABabyToLookAfter
#ObviouslyWeKnewWhatWeWereSigningUpFor
#ButItStillBlowsMyMindThatIAmGrowingAHumanInsideOfMe
#IAmTryingNotToJustTakeLotsOfBumpPictures
#ButThenIRealisedThatEvenIfIDoNotIntendForEveryPhotoToBeABumpPhoto
#IShouldStillDocumentItForMyself
#AndTheMainThingThatIsChangingIsMyBody
#KindOfObviousButThatIsWhyItIsHardToTryToTakeOtherPicturesOfMyself
#MyWorkHasBeenAboutBodyImageAndSelfEsteemAndSelfConfidenceForSoLong
#SoItIsInterestingSeeingMyBodyChangeAndHowIFeelAboutIt
#ILikeItBecauseIKnowIAmGrowingSomeoneInsideOfMe
#ThatSoundsSoWeirdAndThatIsBecauseItIs
#ButItIsAlsoJustStrangeSeeingMyBodyChangeSoMuchSoQuickly
#IDefinitelyFeelMoreConfidentThoughAndICareALotLessAboutThingsNow
#IHaveSpentMyWholeLifeTryingToBeSuperPoliteToPeople
#IWasCatchingATrainTheOtherDayAndIWas20MinutesEarlySoISatOnABenchBecauseIAmPregnant
#ThePlatformFilledUpSoMuchAndIWasWorriedThatIWouldNotGetASeatForThe90MinuteJourney
#WhenTheTrainCameIJustMovedAsCloseToTheDoorsAsPossible
#WhichFeltABitAwkwardButIHadBeenThereForAges
#AndIWasWorriedThatIWouldNotHaveASeatAndHaveToAskPeopleToGiveMeOneAsIAmPregnantAndNeedToSitDown
#IHaveToStickMyElbowsOutABitWhenIAmInACrowdNowToStopPeopleBargingMeInTheBelly

I am finding being pregnant weird this time too. It hasn’t really been that long since I was pregnant with B, but it does feel like a lifetime ago.

I haven’t had many opportunities to stick my elbows out this pregnancy, but I did do it when I went to London for a weekend at times.

I haven’t taken that many bump photos this time, though I am working on fixing it, but I guess this time the project photos are half about pregnancy and half about being a mother to B.


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