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Pregnancy Waiting II

General Documenting Pregnancy Shoot IV (24 Weeks / 17th October 2021)

Shoot which I am recreating for the 4th time this pregnancy. I am wearing a bra and leggings. I have my right hand clasping my left elbow. My bump is bigger than the previous version of this image.
General Documenting Pregnancy Shoot IV (24 Weeks / 17th October 2021)

#IThoughtItWasTimeThatIDoOneOfTheseShootsAgain
#TheBraThatIWearForThemHasFallenApartALotSinceTheFirstShootSoItWillBeGoingInTheBinOnceBabyXIsBorn
#MyBumpIsDefinitelyGettingBiggerAndICanNotImagineItGettingMuchBiggerButIKnowItWill
#IAmStrugglingToBendDownToPickThingsUpNowWhichIsReallyHandyAsBLikesToThrowEverythingOnTheFloor
#YesterdayISuddenlyFeltTheUrgeToTidyUpOurRoomAndGetRidOfLotsOfThings
#IDoNeedToDeclutterAndReduceMyStuffAsWeArePlanningToMoveAtSomePointNextYear
#SoItIsBetterToDoItNowWhileICanMoveAboutIshAndBeforeBabyXIsBorn
#ThereIsSoMuchStuffThatHasSurvived5MovesWithMeButINeedToBeRealisticWhetherIWouldWantToPayToShipItInTheFutureAndTheAnswerIsUsuallyNo
#IThinkTheOrganisingPlusDoingSomeExtraDanceVideosReallyTiredMeOut
#ThisMorningBWasUpAtFiveThirtySoTiagoWentToGetHerAndUsuallyIWakeUpButIWasAsleepWithHerPlayingRightNextToMe
#SheHasBeenAwakeAtFiveThirtyTheLastFewMorningsWhichIsNotMuchFunThoughAtLeastSheHasALongFirstNap
#IThinkItIsDueToHerTeethingAsSheSeemsToAlwaysHaveHerFingersInHerMouth
#SheOnlyReallyHasMolarsLeftToComeThroughAndTheyCanNotBePleasantAtAll
#ILikeHowIUsedToCountHowManyTeethSheHasAndNowIHaveNoIdea
#WeHaveFinallyBookedToGoAndLookAtANurseryForHer
#TheDaysWeAreThinkingWillMeanWeWillNeedToCancelHerMusicClassAndIWasFeelingBadAboutItAsILikeHerTeacherALot
#ButItTurnsOutHerTeacherIsFiveWeeksLessPregnantThanMeSoSheWillBeGoingOnMaternityLeaveAndNowIDoNotFeelSoBad
#IAmFeelingQuiteStressedAboutBeingPregnantAndTheFactWeWillSoonHaveTwoKids
#WeJustSeemSoTiredAtTheMomentAndEvenThoughBWakesUpEarlyAtLeastWeDoGetAGoodAmountOfSleep
#IJustNeedToGoToBedEarlierWhichToBeFairIDidLastNightButItObviouslyWasNotEnough
#EveryoneKeepsSayingTheFirstYearIsTheHardestAndToBeHonestIAmNotLookingForwardToWeaningAndAllThatStuffAgain
#HopefullySheWillArriveAndIWillJustGetOnWithItAndAllICanDoIsToTryMyBest
#AtLeastInTheEarlyDaysTheirNeedsArePrettyBasic
#IJustNeedToMakeAnEffortToGetOutOfTheHouseOnceADayForMySanity
#ItWillBeAStruggleInTheBeginningIAmSureButWeJustNeedToFindARoutineThatWorksForUs
#IJustHopeThatWeDoNotGetLockedDownAgainButThenAgainWhatDoesItMatterWhenIDoubtIWillWantToGoFarAnyways
#IAmWorriedThatCasesAreRisingButEveryoneIsABitNonchalantAboutItButIGuessIAmMoreRelaxedNowIHaveHadMySecondVaccineAndFluJab
#IJustDoNotGetWhyWearingMasksInShopsAndStuffIsNotCompulsoryAndIAmSurprisedAtHowFewPeopleActuallyDoWearThem
#InOtherNewsBIsTryingReallyHardToTalkNowAndISwearSheSaysTickleTickleTickle
#IHaveHeardACoupleOfMamaAndMumSoundsEscapeFromHerLatelyTooSoIHopeSheMightActuallyStartSayingMumAtMeSoon

#IThoughtItWasTimeThatIDoOneOfTheseShootsAgain

The last one was at 19 weeks, so there should be a difference?

(Yes, there is – you can see the versions here: 1 / 2 / 3.)

#TheBraThatIWearForThemHasFallenApartALotSinceTheFirstShootSoItWillBeGoingInTheBinOnceBabyXIsBorn

Maybe in each picture it will start to look more shabby. I’ve been wearing my maternity bras for a while now, and this is not one of them.

#MyBumpIsDefinitelyGettingBiggerAndICanNotImagineItGettingMuchBiggerButIKnowItWill

*Nervous laugh*

#IAmStrugglingToBendDownToPickThingsUpNowWhichIsReallyHandyAsBLikesToThrowEverythingOnTheFloor

This morning she was eating some of my breakfast (scrambled eggs and crusts of my toast), and then throwing it on the floor. I did struggle to pick it up.

#YesterdayISuddenlyFeltTheUrgeToTidyUpOurRoomAndGetRidOfLotsOfThings

I love nesting.

#IDoNeedToDeclutterAndReduceMyStuffAsWeArePlanningToMoveAtSomePointNextYear

Every time I go through my things I get rid of a few more things, but I need to start being ruthless.

#SoItIsBetterToDoItNowWhileICanMoveAboutIshAndBeforeBabyXIsBorn

I am tired, so yeah there will never be a good time again.

#ThereIsSoMuchStuffThatHasSurvived5MovesWithMeButINeedToBeRealisticWhetherIWouldWantToPayToShipItInTheFutureAndTheAnswerIsUsuallyNo

Playing my favourite ‘would I pay £5 to ship this?’ game.

I told Tiago about it and he said would most things really cost £5 to ship. I said no, but would you still pay £5 to ship it? Is it worth the money?

#IThinkTheOrganisingPlusDoingSomeExtraDanceVideosReallyTiredMeOut

I did lie down before B’s second nap, but I’m not sure if I even slept.

#ThisMorningBWasUpAtFiveThirtySoTiagoWentToGetHerAndUsuallyIWakeUpButIWasAsleepWithHerPlayingRightNextToMe

Wake up as in become more alert. I ended up sleeping in until 7.10am, and then I looked through my books and stretched. Then Tiago had a nap (and is still napping as B is napping as I write this).

#SheHasBeenAwakeAtFiveThirtyTheLastFewMorningsWhichIsNotMuchFunThoughAtLeastSheHasALongFirstNap

I try not to put her down for a nap until 9, and then wake her up between 10.30 to 11 depending on our plans.

#IThinkItIsDueToHerTeethingAsSheSeemsToAlwaysHaveHerFingersInHerMouth

I’m being more generous with her paracetamol these days, as otherwise she does not nap or sleep very well. I do worry that I am drugging her at times, but it’s only when I see her with her fingers in her mouth and it’s been 4 hours since the last dose…

#SheOnlyReallyHasMolarsLeftToComeThroughAndTheyCanNotBePleasantAtAll

Bless her.

#ILikeHowIUsedToCountHowManyTeethSheHasAndNowIHaveNoIdea

If I put my finger in her mouth now it just gets bitten and it hurts.

#WeHaveFinallyBookedToGoAndLookAtANurseryForHer

Hurrah.

#TheDaysWeAreThinkingWillMeanWeWillNeedToCancelHerMusicClassAndIWasFeelingBadAboutItAsILikeHerTeacherALot

The class isn’t the best but I do really like her teacher and she makes it way more enjoyable.

#ButItTurnsOutHerTeacherIsFiveWeeksLessPregnantThanMeSoSheWillBeGoingOnMaternityLeaveAndNowIDoNotFeelSoBad

I mentioned I was pregnant last week and she said ‘oh me too’. I really could not tell that she was at all, but she does wear a baggy t-shirt. I had looked at moving locations and days, but I think once B goes down to one nap the other day and time will not work for us. Hopefully B will get enough stimulation at nursery and we can just do more music stuff at home.

#IAmFeelingQuiteStressedAboutBeingPregnantAndTheFactWeWillSoonHaveTwoKids

I feel like I’ve mentioned it before, but I am starting to get waves of overwhelmed-ness now.

#WeJustSeemSoTiredAtTheMomentAndEvenThoughBWakesUpEarlyAtLeastWeDoGetAGoodAmountOfSleep #IJustNeedToGoToBedEarlierWhichToBeFairIDidLastNightButItObviouslyWasNotEnough

This would probably make a big difference, and I’m sure once she is born I will have to just surrender to motherhood, but for now I am enjoying have a bit of evening time to myself.

#EveryoneKeepsSayingTheFirstYearIsTheHardestAndToBeHonestIAmNotLookingForwardToWeaningAndAllThatStuffAgain

I just need to take each day/cycle of the day at a time.

#HopefullySheWillArriveAndIWillJustGetOnWithItAndAllICanDoIsToTryMyBest

We wanted this baby and I have to handle the responsibility. I am nervous though.

#AtLeastInTheEarlyDaysTheirNeedsArePrettyBasic

And she won’t be running off like B does.

#IJustNeedToMakeAnEffortToGetOutOfTheHouseOnceADayForMySanity

It will be winter, but hopefully by then spring will not be too far away.

#ItWillBeAStruggleInTheBeginningIAmSureButWeJustNeedToFindARoutineThatWorksForUs

Like I said, I need to surrender to motherhood.

#IJustHopeThatWeDoNotGetLockedDownAgainButThenAgainWhatDoesItMatterWhenIDoubtIWillWantToGoFarAnyways

B’s classes moving to zoom would make things a lot easier to be fair. I doubt we will have another lockdown though.

#IAmWorriedThatCasesAreRisingButEveryoneIsABitNonchalantAboutItButIGuessIAmMoreRelaxedNowIHaveHadMySecondVaccineAndFluJab

Other countries have less cases and are in full panic mode, but I guess they are not as vaccinated as here.

#IJustDoNotGetWhyWearingMasksInShopsAndStuffIsNotCompulsoryAndIAmSurprisedAtHowFewPeopleActuallyDoWearThem

We still wear them in shops, and I do on public transport though that is rare. I have not been wearing them in classes, but in B’s music class she does not go near anyone else and we sit far back from everyone. At another class I probably should, but no one else does… When it’s time to sing we sat at the back of the bunch.

#InOtherNewsBIsTryingReallyHardToTalkNowAndISwearSheSaysTickleTickleTickle

It sounds more like ‘iggle iggle iggle’ or something else I guess, but I think that is what she is trying to say.

#IHaveHeardACoupleOfMamaAndMumSoundsEscapeFromHerLatelyTooSoIHopeSheMightActuallyStartSayingMumAtMeSoon

She’s been saying Dada and Dad for so long, though she doesn’t really say it at Tiago much. She is growing up fast though.

Despite my nervousness I am excited to see her with her sister.

24 weeks pregnant with B comparison:

Self-portrait wearing a black dress with white stripes. I have a toy octopus on my head.
So Many Decisions To Be Made (24 and a half weeks)
 
#SoWeFinallyBoughtSomeBabyStuff
#ThereWereSomeGoodSalesOn
#SoWeOrderedSomeBabyClothes
#AndThenISawSomeCuteToysSoIBoughtACouple
#ItFeelsLikeWeAreCursingThingsByBuyingStuff
#ButIAlsoDoNotWantToGetCaughtOutByHavingNothing
#ObviouslyTheBabyWillNotKnowIfItHasToysOrNotInTheBeginning
#ButThingsLikeClothesAreNecessary
#SoManyDecisionsToBeMade
#ThingsAreSeemingMoreReal
#ThoughIAlsoDoStillForgetThatIAmPregnantSometimes
#IFeltSoHeavyNotLongAgoButIFeelLighterTheseDays
#MaybeItIsAllTheStretchingIAmDoing
#AndOrMaybeIAmNotEatingSuchBigMealsNow
#IDoASquatPoseInTheMorning
#ButInTheEveningItIsHarderAsMyBellyIsFuller
#IBoughtAHypnobirthingCourseAfterAFriendsRecommendation
#INeedToStartDoingThatJustInCaseAsAgainIDoNotWantToGetCaughtOut
#IKeepReadingThingsAboutPeopleWhoDidNotWantToBeParents
#WhereasIDoButIWorryThatIWillBeRubbish
#ThoughIRememberGoingToSeeMyNieceForTheFirstTimeAndBeingWorriedAsIHadNotBeenAroundABabyForALongTime
#ButISoonGotOverTheNervousness
#ThoughIWasJustEntertainingHerAndNotDoingHerWholeRoutineAndBeingAroundHerAllDayEveryDay
#ICanOnlyDoMyBest
#AndSoonWeWillDoAnNCTCourseSoHopefullyWeWillNotBeTooClueless
#IFeelLikeTiagoIsGoodWithKids
#IAmLookingForwardToSeeingHimAsAFather
#IGotAKickTrackingAppYesterdayToTryToMakeMeFeelBetter
#ThoughIAmNotMonitoringHowManyKicksYetButJustWhenIFeelItMoving
#TodayIHaveNotFeltItMoveMuchButIThinkIHaveNotBeenThinkingAboutItAsMuchAsYesterday

This shoot was a bit bad. It was definitely a day when I was struggling with ideas…

It’s funny now as it’s gone from being a toy that we bought to it being B’s toy that she does interact with from time to time.

#ObviouslyTheBabyWillNotKnowIfItHasToysOrNotInTheBeginning

B has only really started to interact with the toys she had then, quite recently. Especially cuddly toys.

We aren’t going to do the hypnobirthing course again, but I have the book of it which we are both planning to read again. I need to get on with it really as time is flying by…

I downloaded an app to monitor kicks but I have only used it once. This baby seems more active, so I feel reassured. I am being kicked/punched right now…


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Categories
Pregnancy Waiting II

33 / Portrait Of A Mother Of A Sixteen Month Old (24 Weeks / October 2021)

Self-portrait with B. I am holding her in my arms and she is touching my face with both of her hands. Her right foot has been photoshopped (duplicated and mirrored) over her eye, nose and mouth.
33 / Portrait Of A Mother Of A Sixteen Month Old (24 Weeks / October 2021)
 
#IHaveAlreadyDoneTheShootForOnceAndWasTryingToCopyTheShootThatBAndIDidTogetherWhenITurned32
#BackThenThoughSheDidNotMoveAboutMuchSoTodayWasAMassiveWriggleFest
#AtOnePointSheWasJustMessingWithMyFaceAndAsHerNailsNeedToBeCutMyLipHurtsABit
#HerNewFavouriteThingIsStandingUpOnHerBouncingZebraToyAndOnHerSmallCar
#SheHasBeenThreateningToDoItForAWhileSoIWasImpressedWhenSheActuallyStoodUpOnThemAndWithSoMuchControl
#IGuessAllTheClimbingOnHerFrameAndRampAndStandingInTheWobblyCarAtTheParkHasReallyImprovedHerBalanceAndCoreStrength
#AtTheWeekendWeWentToSeeMyParentsAndBHadLotsOfFunExploringTheirGarden
#TheyHaveOfferedToWatchBForAWeekendSoWeHaveJustBookedIntoAHotelWhereThereIsAPoolAndWeIntendToJustSwimEatAndSleep
#WeThoughtItWasAtLeastABitOfADriveFromTheirHouseButItIsOnly15MinutesAwayWhichIGuessIsGoodInCaseWeNeedToGetBackForAnyReason
#TypicallyAsSoonAsTheySaidTheyWouldHaveHerSheDidNotSleepVeryWellThatNightAtAll
#SheHasAMouthFullOfTeethNowButIThinkSheIsGoingThroughAParticularlyBadTeethingPhase
#WeTriedToSeeIfSheWouldSettleButAfterAWhileWeHadToGoInWithParacetamolAndAfterAnotherVisitWhereWeBothLaidWithHerInHerCotSheFinallyWentToSleepTwoHoursLater
#YesterdaySheMissedHerMorningNapWhichIThinkWasDueToMeForgettingToGiveHerParacetamol
#IHaveHadMyFluVaccineNowWhichIsGoodAndMyArmDidNotHurtAtAllOrAnything
#TwoHoursAfterTheAppointmentAtAPharmacyMyDoctorsMessagedToSayICouldHaveAFluJabWithThemThisWeek
#YesterdayWeDugOutTheRestOfMyMaternityPillowAsIHaveJustBeenUsingASmallSectionOfItForWeeks
#IFindMyselfWakingUpALotMoreAtNightNowAndOftenOnMyBackWhichIsNotGood
#IFeelLikeMyBumpIsGettingSoBigThatICanNotImagineItGettingMuchBiggerButIKnowItWill
#INeedToStartReadingHypnobirthingStuffAgainAndMentallyPreparingMyselfForTheBirth
#ThisWeekISaidToTiagoThatWeNeedToStartThinkingAboutBabyNamesAgain
#HeJustTurnedToBAndSaidTheNextSoundYouMakeWillBeTheNameOfYourSister
#WeBothWatchedHerWithAnticipationAndAfterALittleWhileSheDidABurp
#IAmTryingToImagineHowItWillBeOnMyNextBirthdayWhenIAm34AndWillMostLikelyHaveTwoKids
#ThePictureWillDefinitelyBeMoreOfAStruggleForSure
#IKeepSayingItButIKnowIWillNeedToAcceptThatThereWillBeLessTimeForMeForAWhile
#AtTheMomentTiagoUsuallyGetsBUpAndGivesHerBreakfastWhileIStretchAndFaffABit
#WithANewbornIKnowThatTimeWillProbablyBecomeBabyFeedingTimeAndIWillJustNeedToRestWhenICan
#WeOrderedAnIndianTakeawayLastNightThatWeWillAlsoHaveForDinnerTonight
#TiagoGetsStressedOutAboutPresentsEveryYearButIDoNotReallyWantAnything
#IAmOwedAFewMassagesThatHaveBeenGiftedForBirthdaysAndHolidaysEtcFromHimViaWordSoMaybeIWillActuallyGetOneOnOurWeekendAway

#IHaveAlreadyDoneTheShootForOnceAndWasTryingToCopyTheShootThatBAndIDidTogetherWhenITurned32

We did the shoot before her first nap.

(32 shoot.)

#BackThenThoughSheDidNotMoveAboutMuchSoTodayWasAMassiveWriggleFest

I was a bit nervous about how it would go, which was why I was keen to do it asap today.

#AtOnePointSheWasJustMessingWithMyFaceAndAsHerNailsNeedToBeCutMyLipHurtsABit

She found it hilarious. There is a series of her laughing her head off at me.

She was grumpy in the beginning, but then she got into it – especially when she could see the photos of herself and steal my remote.

#HerNewFavouriteThingIsStandingUpOnHerBouncingZebraToyAndOnHerSmallCar

Now I can not look away as you never know what daredevil stunt she will be doing next.

#SheHasBeenThreateningToDoItForAWhileSoIWasImpressedWhenSheActuallyStoodUpOnThemAndWithSoMuchControl

The zebra is quite tall, but she stands up quite slowly and steadily. She does fall off from time to time though.

She was standing on the car in the kitchen and fell off a couple of times. That one does move as it has wheels. The zebra does rotate though.

#IGuessAllTheClimbingOnHerFrameAndRampAndStandingInTheWobblyCarAtTheParkHasReallyImprovedHerBalanceAndCoreStrength

I am quite impressed considering how often she falls over and I thought for a while that her balance was terrible, so it has improved quickly.

#AtTheWeekendWeWentToSeeMyParentsAndBHadLotsOfFunExploringTheirGarden

For a while she just sat playing with stones, she was super intrigued by their cat, and a bit freaked out by their turkeys.

#TheyHaveOfferedToWatchBForAWeekendSoWeHaveJustBookedIntoAHotelWhereThereIsAPoolAndWeIntendToJustSwimEatAndSleep

It will be our first over night stay away from B as a couple. Weird. It is nice to think of grand schemes to get up to, but yeah we just want to sleep, watch some crap TV, eat some nice food and swim. I need to get a new swimming costume as the one I wore in summer was tight then.

#WeThoughtItWasAtLeastABitOfADriveFromTheirHouseButItIsOnly15MinutesAwayWhichIGuessIsGoodInCaseWeNeedToGetBackForAnyReason

I was just looking for places with a pool and my geography is obviously really terrible. I feel so tired writing this. I think the reviews said the beds are comfy.

#TypicallyAsSoonAsTheySaidTheyWouldHaveHerSheDidNotSleepVeryWellThatNightAtAll

She does not cry much usually, but she was crying quite heavily. We were quite concerned.

#SheHasAMouthFullOfTeethNowButIThinkSheIsGoingThroughAParticularlyBadTeethingPhase

Maybe it was affecting her ears as well? At first I thought it was an ear infection.

#WeTriedToSeeIfSheWouldSettleButAfterAWhileWeHadToGoInWithParacetamolAndAfterAnotherVisitWhereWeBothLaidWithHerInHerCotSheFinallyWentToSleepTwoHoursLater

We were conflicted over her sleep training, and naturally reacting to how we saw her. Tiago did cuddle her a lot the first time round until she calmed down, but she was still upset.

So after a while he went in again and as she was still crying I also went in. We laid in her cot with her and before long she was clapping and laughing, so I read her bedtime story and sang Twinkle Twinkle to her to let her know it was bedtime, then she settled. Phew.

#YesterdaySheMissedHerMorningNapWhichIThinkWasDueToMeForgettingToGiveHerParacetamol

I planned to give it to her, but forgot. We usually don’t use the syringe that comes with it, so I have to use that now and realised that we haven’t been giving her the full dose that she is allowed so hopefully by doing that she will be in less pain now.

#IHaveHadMyFluVaccineNowWhichIsGoodAndMyArmDidNotHurtAtAllOrAnything

Hurrah. I have been tired, but I think that is a normal pregnancy symptom…

#TwoHoursAfterTheAppointmentAtAPharmacyMyDoctorsMessagedToSayICouldHaveAFluJabWithThemThisWeek

Typical. It would have been easier. Oh well.

#YesterdayWeDugOutTheRestOfMyMaternityPillowAsIHaveJustBeenUsingASmallSectionOfItForWeeks

I was reading about how I need to support my whole body more, so I thought we better find it. It was vacuum packed in the garage.

#IFindMyselfWakingUpALotMoreAtNightNowAndOftenOnMyBackWhichIsNotGood

Often I wake up on my back and know I shouldn’t be on my back, but just kind of end up staying there. Whoops.

#IFeelLikeMyBumpIsGettingSoBigThatICanNotImagineItGettingMuchBiggerButIKnowItWill

Definitely less space for food these days.

#INeedToStartReadingHypnobirthingStuffAgainAndMentallyPreparingMyselfForTheBirth

I’m going to finish reading Dave Grohl’s book then I’ll start reading my hypnobirthing books.

#ThisWeekISaidToTiagoThatWeNeedToStartThinkingAboutBabyNamesAgain

With B we didn’t have that many thinking sessions about them. We had one early on and then left it for ages. It seems to be our approach this time around too…

#HeJustTurnedToBAndSaidTheNextSoundYouMakeWillBeTheNameOfYourSister

She does babble quite a lot now so I was wondering what she would say.

#WeBothWatchedHerWithAnticipationAndAfterALittleWhileSheDidABurp

Classic B.

#IAmTryingToImagineHowItWillBeOnMyNextBirthdayWhenIAm34AndWillMostLikelyHaveTwoKids

I say ‘most likely’ as I am still quite anxious about things.

#ThePictureWillDefinitelyBeMoreOfAStruggleForSure

I might need to recruit Tiago, or I imagine B might be stood at my feet just pulling on my top. I will have probably mastered how to hold both of them, but who knows.

#IKeepSayingItButIKnowIWillNeedToAcceptThatThereWillBeLessTimeForMeForAWhile

I thought about it again this morning.

#AtTheMomentTiagoUsuallyGetsBUpAndGivesHerBreakfastWhileIStretchAndFaffABit

Not too shabby.

#WithANewbornIKnowThatTimeWillProbablyBecomeBabyFeedingTimeAndIWillJustNeedToRestWhenICan

Less reading, less working, more just resting when I can and looking after my kids. It’s weird to say kids.

#WeOrderedAnIndianTakeawayLastNightThatWeWillAlsoHaveForDinnerTonight

Tiago thought about ordering from somewhere more fancy, but I like our local place. I know what we like. We ordered a couple of different things for once too and they were good.

#TiagoGetsStressedOutAboutPresentsEveryYearButIDoNotReallyWantAnything

If I want something I usually get it for myself.

#IAmOwedAFewMassagesThatHaveBeenGiftedForBirthdaysAndHolidaysEtcFromHimViaWordSoMaybeIWillActuallyGetOneOnOurWeekendAway

Covid, B and life have just stopped me having one. I definitely want a proper one after Baby X is born. I haven’t had many in my life, but I know it will be good for my body, and me.

24 weeks pregnant with B comparison:

Diptych where in both I am stood sideways with my left arm forward, my right arm hanging down with a remote, my left leg is forward and my right leg is back. In the first I am breathing out and my bump is visible, in the second I am breathing in and my bump is a bit smaller.
I Tried To Suck In My Bump, But It Didn’t Really Work (24 weeks)
 
#BeforeIWasPregnantIDidNotLikeWearingTightTops
#IBoughtSomeForTheWinterThisYearButDidNotRealiseTheyWereSoTight
#AsTheyWereInPacketsAndIThoughtTheyWereLikeTheOnesIAlreadyHad
#WellIGuessIStillDoNotLikeWearingTightTopsButIHaveBeenWearingThem
#ISupposeIWantToTakeAdvantageOfTheFactThatBumpsAreSeenAsBeautiful
#ThoughNowIAmAtThePointWhereILoveMyBumpButIFeelAwkwardWhenPeopleNoticeIt
#IWoreThisTopTheOtherDayButDidNotThinkMuchAsIWasGoingToWearAJumperOverIt
#ButIWasWarmSoIWasAtTheOfficeAndFeltSelfConsciousWalkingDownTheCorridor
#WhenIWalkedPastAnOfficeWithAnOpenDoorITriedToSuckInMyBump
#ButIRealisedThatItDidNotChangeMuch
#ThenInTheEveningAGroupOfUsWentOutForDinner
#AndItWasHotSoISatInMyTopFeelingAwkward
#ThenWhenIWentToTheBathroomITriedToBreatheInMyBumpABit
#AndPutMyArmsInAWayToTryToCoverItABit
#IGuessIThoughtPeopleWouldJudgeMeForBeingPregnantAndWearingATightTop
#NoMatterHowYouLookAsAWomanYouWillBeCriticisedForSomethingAnyways
#InOtherNewsIAmABitWorriedAboutTheCoronaVirus
#IfIWasNotPregnantThenIWouldNotBeSoWorried
#ButBecauseIAmIDoNotKnowHowItWouldAffectTheBaby
#WouldItHaveLongTermHealthProblemsBecauseOfIt
#WhoKnows
#IAmJustWashingMyHandsMore
#AndSideEyeingPeopleWhoCoughWithNoAttemptToCoverTheirMouthInPublic
#HopefullyItWillBeUnderControlSoon
#IForgotToMentionInMyLastPhotoThatIHadSuchABadHipPainACoupleOfDaysBeforeThePictureWasTaken
#IThinkIJustOverStretchedItBySittingWithButterflyLegsForTooLong
#ButThenItWasReallyAwkwardForMeToWalkForTwoDays
#IStretchedMoreAndGotOverItLuckily
#GettingBoredOfHavingToStretchSoMuch
#ButIFeelGoodAfterwards

I am currently (31st October) sat in one of my tight tops. I feel less awkward as no one really sees me these days. I have breathed in a few times in the mirror to see if it makes a difference, but at this point it does not.

‘#HopefullyItWillBeUnderControlSoon’

I can’t believe that Covid is still a thing and cases are going up… At least we have vaccines now. I have been less scared now that I am double vaccinated, and I feel better for having the flu jab as well.

I have been stretching more this time, so I think that is helping a lot.


Thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying my blog (and/or the work I make) please consider supporting me by ‘buying me a coffee’ on Ko-fi – thanks!

Categories
Pregnancy Waiting II

Imitating B Wearing My Pants On Her Head (23 Weeks / 9th October 2021)

Self-portrait diptych. I am wearing a black dress with white stripes in both. In the left image I have pants on my head in a way that looks more like a hat. On the right a leg hole follows my nose and shows the left side of my face.
Imitating B Wearing My Pants On Her Head (23 Weeks / 9th October 2021)
 
#IHaveMentionedBeforeThatBLikesToPutThingsOnHerHeadAndOrAroundHerNeck
#AParticularFavouriteIsGettingMyPantsFromTheClothesLineAndPuttingThemOnHerHead
#ItIsFunnyButItAlsoScaresMeABitSoWeNeedToKeepAnEyeOnHerAtAllTimes
#IWishSheCouldSayWhySheLikesToDoItSoMuchButSheIsStillJustBabblingALot
#IFeelLikeIShouldTalkAboutHowIAmFeelingThisPregnancyAsIThinkThatIHaveNotReallySpokenAboutItMuch
#IHaveBeenHavingALotOfDaydreamsWhereSomethingBadHappensToBabyXEitherNowOrAtTheBirth
#OftenIDaydreamForQuiteALongTimeBeforeIRealiseWhatIAmDoingAndSnapMyselfOutOfIt
#SometimesIDoNotFeelTheBabyForQuiteAWhileButIKnowItIsProbablyBecauseIAmRunningAroundAfterB
#ThoughLastNightIThinkICouldFeelHerHiccuppingForAWhileSoThatWasARelief
#IDidNotFeelBMoveThatMuchReallyAndSheHiccuppedALotTooWhichWasAGoodIndicationThatSheWasOkay
#AtLeastBIsAGoodDistractionWhoMakesTimeFlyButIAmStillQuiteAnxiousWithThisPregnancy
#IMessagedMyMidwifeYesterdayAsIHadNotBeenOfferedTheWhoppingCoughVaccineAndSheSaidToCallMyDoctors
#SoIDidThatAndThatWillBeInAFewWeeksAndSheAlsoEmailedMeMyMaternityExemptionCertificate
#TheDoctorsSaidIJustNeedToAskForMyFluVaccineAtTheSameTimeButIDoNotWantToWaitThatLongForIt
#SoIBookedWithAPharmacyToGetThatDoneThisWeekAsIKnowPeopleMyAgeWhoHaveBeenGettingTheFluQuiteBadThisYear
#YesterdayAfterBreakfastIFeltLikeIWasGettingSomeAcidRefluxWhichIHaveNotHadMuchOfYetAndICanFeelItABitNowWhichIThinkMayBeCausedByOrangeJuice
#ReadingAdviceTheySayToEatSmallMealsButOnceIEatIGenerallyCanNotStopSoIThinkTheTimeHasComeToShowSomeRestraint
#MyBumpIsGettingQuiteBigNowAndIFindItHardToImagineHowMuchMoreItCanGrowBeforeTheBabyIsBorn
#SoItMakesSenseThatINeedToEatLittleAndOftenInsteadOfALotAndInfrequently
#LastNightIWasAwakeForAboutTwoHoursFromTwoInTheMorningWhichWasAnnoyingAsIHaveNotHadThatMuchInsomnia
#IWasJustReallyHotAndThirstyAndThenMyBrainWouldNotLetMeGoBackToSleepSoThatWasFun
#IWasMainlyThinkingAboutSendingBToNurseryAndForHowMuchTimeDuringTheWeek
#ItWouldNotBeYetButWeNeedToHaveALookAtThemAndCheckAvailability
#WeSeeAGirlAroundWhoIsTheSameAgeAsBAndTheyGetQuiteExcitedWhenTheySeeEachOther
#SheGoesToTheNurseryThatWeWereLookingAtSoItWouldBeNiceForThemToHangOutMoreAndItIsGoodToHaveARecommendation
#WeWouldProbablyStartOffSendingHerTwoMorningsAWeekInACoupleOfMonthsTimeSoICanHaveSomeTimeToSortOutThingsBeforeBabyXIsBorn
#IWouldRatherSheGoForTwoMorningsThanAFullDayAsAfterAWhileIWouldJustStartToFaff
#TiagoHasStartedToTalkToBumpABitMoreAndFeltSomeMovementLastNight
#HeMadeMeLaughWhenHeWasTellingTheBabyToWakeUpAndSaidWakeyWabyInsteadOfWakeyBaby
#BAlsoMakesMeLaughWithHerEnthusiasmForThingsLikeHerTryingOutTheRampOnHerClimbingFrameByRunningUpAndDownItFiftyTimesPlusLastNight

(Trigger warning: I talk about some of my anxiety during the pregnancy and unpleasant day dreams.)

#IHaveMentionedBeforeThatBLikesToPutThingsOnHerHeadAndOrAroundHerNeck

I think so anyways. The dry skin at the back of her neck has probably been caused by her love of it…

#AParticularFavouriteIsGettingMyPantsFromTheClothesLineAndPuttingThemOnHerHead

I love when she also carries three pairs of my pants around the house too.

#ItIsFunnyButItAlsoScaresMeABitSoWeNeedToKeepAnEyeOnHerAtAllTimes

You can see how kids can easily suffocate themselves on accident…

#IWishSheCouldSayWhySheLikesToDoItSoMuchButSheIsStillJustBabblingALot

It’s probably just because she found she can do it and it usually gets a reaction. Fair enough.

#IFeelLikeIShouldTalkAboutHowIAmFeelingThisPregnancyAsIThinkThatIHaveNotReallySpokenAboutItMuch

I generally plan to, but then end up talking about all the things that B has been up to.

#IHaveBeenHavingALotOfDaydreamsWhereSomethingBadHappensToBabyXEitherNowOrAtTheBirth

Basically, I end up without a second baby.

#OftenIDaydreamForQuiteALongTimeBeforeIRealiseWhatIAmDoingAndSnapMyselfOutOfIt

I imagine the events, the conversations, the feelings, the reactions etc. It’s deep.

#SometimesIDoNotFeelTheBabyForQuiteAWhileButIKnowItIsProbablyBecauseIAmRunningAroundAfterB

I can feel her (I find it weird that I know it’s a girl) moving about now as I am sat writing this, but sometimes I don’t. When B is awake my attention and focus is elsewhere.

#ThoughLastNightIThinkICouldFeelHerHiccuppingForAWhileSoThatWasARelief

I originally wrote them instead of her as I find it weird to say it’s a girl, I think as I didn’t know what B was until she came out.

#IDidNotFeelBMoveThatMuchReallyAndSheHiccuppedALotTooWhichWasAGoodIndicationThatSheWasOkay

Hiccups are reassuring. My Mum said before that my younger sister was the same.

#AtLeastBIsAGoodDistractionWhoMakesTimeFlyButIAmStillQuiteAnxiousWithThisPregnancy

I need to start reading about hypnobirthing again and start mentally preparing myself for the birth. I stretch in the morning and evening, and try to go for a walk or two a day with B so I feel quite strong at least. I just need to get strong mentally.

#IMessagedMyMidwifeYesterdayAsIHadNotBeenOfferedTheWhoppingCoughVaccineAndSheSaidToCallMyDoctors

With B I’m sure they said about booking it quite early on, or maybe I was just on the ball.

#SoIDidThatAndThatWillBeInAFewWeeksAndSheAlsoEmailedMeMyMaternityExemptionCertificate

I’m sure with B they told me to come in the same day, so I was surprised it was a bit of a wait. It’s good that the certificate is not a piece of paper this time – so much more convenient.

#TheDoctorsSaidIJustNeedToAskForMyFluVaccineAtTheSameTimeButIDoNotWantToWaitThatLongForIt

I’m more bothered about getting my flu vaccine now than the whooping cough.

#SoIBookedWithAPharmacyToGetThatDoneThisWeekAsIKnowPeopleMyAgeWhoHaveBeenGettingTheFluQuiteBadThisYear

My Nan got hers at the start of the week. I do not fancy catching the flu.

#YesterdayAfterBreakfastIFeltLikeIWasGettingSomeAcidRefluxWhichIHaveNotHadMuchOfYetAndICanFeelItABitNowWhichIThinkMayBeCausedByOrangeJuice

I’m still loving my hashbrowns and scrambled egg toasted sandwich with a small glass of orange juice.

#ReadingAdviceTheySayToEatSmallMealsButOnceIEatIGenerallyCanNotStopSoIThinkTheTimeHasComeToShowSomeRestraint

I won’t be hungry, but then I’ll just keep eating for ages once I start – especially at lunch.

#MyBumpIsGettingQuiteBigNowAndIFindItHardToImagineHowMuchMoreItCanGrowBeforeTheBabyIsBorn #SoItMakesSenseThatINeedToEatLittleAndOftenInsteadOfALotAndInfrequently

I feel like I am running out of space already.

#LastNightIWasAwakeForAboutTwoHoursFromTwoInTheMorningWhichWasAnnoyingAsIHaveNotHadThatMuchInsomnia

I mentioned it before but it seemed to be a one off, or two night event.

#IWasJustReallyHotAndThirstyAndThenMyBrainWouldNotLetMeGoBackToSleepSoThatWasFun

I thought my Nan had put the heating on, but she hadn’t. By the time I’d checked the thermostat, and gone to the loo I was wide awake.

#IWasMainlyThinkingAboutSendingBToNurseryAndForHowMuchTimeDuringTheWeek

It’s been taking over my brain space for the last 16 hours or so?

#ItWouldNotBeYetButWeNeedToHaveALookAtThemAndCheckAvailability

I’m keen for it to be after B drops down to one nap a day, which isn’t far away, and when baby X isn’t so far away.

#WeSeeAGirlAroundWhoIsTheSameAgeAsBAndTheyGetQuiteExcitedWhenTheySeeEachOther

We see her and her parents at the playground a lot. They’ll see each other from a distance and start smiling and flapping.

#SheGoesToTheNurseryThatWeWereLookingAtSoItWouldBeNiceForThemToHangOutMoreAndItIsGoodToHaveARecommendation

If it’s good enough for her, then it’s good enough for B. Great.

#WeWouldProbablyStartOffSendingHerTwoMorningsAWeekInACoupleOfMonthsTimeSoICanHaveSomeTimeToSortOutThingsBeforeBabyXIsBorn

And just have a bit of time to feel less tired?

#IWouldRatherSheGoForTwoMorningsThanAFullDayAsAfterAWhileIWouldJustStartToFaff

I do not know what I would do for a full day a week without having B around. I have work to do, but it’s more beneficial for it to be two mornings than a whole day. I’d get a lot more done. It’d also break the week up a bit.

#TiagoHasStartedToTalkToBumpABitMoreAndFeltSomeMovementLastNight

He feels the middle of my belly, but I said I feel more movements at the bottom and then he felt something.

#HeMadeMeLaughWhenHeWasTellingTheBabyToWakeUpAndSaidWakeyWabyInsteadOfWakeyBaby

Yeah, not that funny really but we had a good laugh.

#BAlsoMakesMeLaughWithHerEnthusiasmForThingsLikeHerTryingOutTheRampOnHerClimbingFrameByRunningUpAndDownItFiftyTimesPlusLastNight

I was hoping it would wear her out, but she was up just before 6. Zzz.

23 weeks pregnant with B comparison:

Self-portrait diptych. I am wearing a maternity bra and leggings in both. On the left my leggings are covering my bump, and on the right my bump is exposed.
I Am Not Sick, I Am Just Pregnant (23 and a half weeks)
 
#IWasFeelingStressedYesterday
#WorryingAboutTheBabysMovements
#EveryoneTellsMeNotToWorryButItIsEasierSaidThanDone
#IHaveNeverExperiencedPregnancyBeforeSoIDoNotKnowWhatIsNormal
#IWasOnTheFloorEarlierAndWasStrugglingToGetUp
#AndIWasLaughingToMyself
#IHadToGoOntoAllFoursSoThatICouldStandUp
#IKeepThinkingMyBodyIsTheSameAsItUsedToBe
#YesterdayIWasSayingToTiagoThatMaybeIDoNotEvenLookThatPregnant
#AndHeWasLikeYesYouDo
#IGuessLookingDownAtMyselfItSeemsFairlyNormalNowAsItGrowsABitDaily
#ButIGetMoreWeirdedOutWhenILookInTheMirror
#IDefinitelyLookedMorePregnantInMyDanceVideosToday
#ItIsWeirdLookingBackAtOlderPhotosThoughOfWhenIThoughtIStartedToLookPregnant
#AndIBarelyLookPregnantComparedToNow
#IAmAlsoFeelingAnnoyedAboutWorkAndOpportunities
#WhenIWasTryingToGetPregnantNothingReallyCameUp
#AndAsSoonAsIGotPregnantIStartedToGetApproachedForThings
#IFeelLikeIHaveBeenTurnedDownForThingsBecauseIAmPregnant
#ButInsteadOfThemHavingAConversationWithMeAboutWhatIFeelAbleToDo
#TheyChooseToShutItDownAndJustStartIgnoringMe
#MaybeItIsNotBecauseIAmPregnant
#ButEitherWayJustSaySorryWeDoNotWantToWorkWithYou
#ByThemNotSayingThatAndNotTalkingWithMe
#ItJustFeelsLikeItIsDiscriminationBecauseIAmPregnant
#ButByThemNotChoosingToTalkAboutItThenICanNotCallItDiscrimination
#IAmPostingThisProjectOnlineNowAndIThinkPeopleThinkIAmPostingItInRealTime
#IAmStillWorkingIAmStillMakingWorkIAmStillDancingIExerciseTwiceADay
#IAmNotSickIAmJustPregnant
#IKnowHavingAKidMeansIWillHaveToTurnDownCertainOpportunitiesButIAlsoFeelLikeMaybeIAmAlreadyOnADoNotHireListNow

Another unintentional pairing of comparison pictures – two diptychs. They also both talk about anxiety during pregnancy.

I decided to have another baby as soon as possible as I felt like it would be good to get the baby stage done and then hopefully in the not so distant future I can apply for bigger opportunities again. I also do think it will be good for them to be close in age.

I feel like since becoming a parent I have been approached for less opportunities, but maybe it’s because Covid is also a big part of life now and that also affects things?

I had to turn down one opportunity when I was pregnant with B as it was for international travel around the time B was due, but I guess it got cancelled due to Covid anyways.


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Categories
Pregnancy Waiting

Failed Blood Tests (7 and a half-ish weeks)

This is a post about the sixth image from my series Waiting For Things In A Time When You Rarely Wait For Things where I documented my pregnancy from October 2019 to June 2020.

I haven’t posted about this project since July. I was just having a morning stretch and thought I should post about it again – even if they’re just short posts. Before I was making my life difficult by digging through outtakes, so I’m just going to focus on the photo/s that I chose for each set of hashtags.

So here we go…

Photo of my body. Arm has a plaster on it from a blood test
Failed Blood Tests (7 and a half-ish weeks)
 
#SoTheyTriedToTakeMyBloodAndFailed
#ProbablyBecauseItWas10amAndIHadNotEatenYet
#AsIHadBeenSickThatMorningAndItPutMeOff
#ItSeemsSoEarlyToBeTalkingAboutOptions
#WhereIWantToGiveBirthWhenItSeemsSoEarlyAndIDoNotKnowTheFullFacts
#TheMidwifeMentionedAHomeBirth
#ILikeTheIdeaOfItButImmediatelyIJustThoughtAboutTheNeighboursAndWhatTheyWouldThink
#LivingInAFlatWithNeighboursOnMostSidesAndUpAndDownDoesNotMakeItSoAppealing
#ButIDoNotHearMuchFromThem
#ApartFromOneNeighbourWhoCoughsLoudly
#AndOnceICouldHearOneVomitingThroughTheVents
#WhichIsWhatIWorriedThisMorningWhenIWasBeingSick
#TIsWorriedAboutTheRisksOfHomeBirth
#SoINeedToFindHimSomeInfo
#OtherPeopleHaveExpressedTheirDisapproval
#WhichUpsetsMe
#AsItIsSoEarlyAndItIsNotSetInStoneYet
#ButThatIsMyPersonalPreference
#AndIAmTheOneGivingBirth
#AndIWantToFeelAsRelaxedAndComfortableAsPossibleToDoTheJobThatPeopleHaveBeenDoingForThousandsOfYears
#AsICanNotBeBotheredWithBeingSuperStressedOut
#LikeISaidMyMainConcernIsTheNeighbours
#SoLetUsHopeForAShortLabourThatIsMidDayAndNotMidNight
#ButItMightNotHappen
#MaybeIWillGoToTheHospitalOrABirthingCentre
#ABirthingPoolIsAllIReallyWant
#AsIWillNotGetASummerHolidaySoICanPretendIAmInTheSeaWhichIsWhereIFeelMostAtPeace
#FingersCrossedThatAllGoesWellFromHere
#ItAllSeemsTooEarlyButTodayMadeThingsABitMoreReal
#IDoNotKnowHowIGotTheScratchOnMyBelly

So I took this photo in November when there wasn’t even a whiff of pandemic in the air (ooh so poetic).

I really do not know how I got that scratch; I’m guessing it was a rogue fingernail.

The photo is cropped and rotated – I don’t like having to crop my work for some reason, but too much boob felt unnecessary. I do like that the picture is a little abstract.

#SoTheyTriedToTakeMyBloodAndFailed
#ProbablyBecauseItWas10amAndIHadNotEatenYet #AsIHadBeenSickThatMorningAndItPutMeOff

Typically it was the first day that I had actually been sick. Later on I would realise that eating a little bit when I felt sick would make me feel better, but at this point I did not know that.

Afterwards before every blood test I would make sure that I drank plenty and ate something. Usually my appointments would be in the morning so I would have less time to eat, and I went off a lot of food so I’d at least try to eat something that I could tolerate (usually some light crisps – like the oven baked ones).

#ItSeemsSoEarlyToBeTalkingAboutOptions
#WhereIWantToGiveBirthWhenItSeemsSoEarlyAndIDoNotKnowTheFullFacts
#TheMidwifeMentionedAHomeBirth

Back then there were more options, but it did seem super early. I remember calling the hospital when I found out I was pregnant and they were like ‘so you’re having the baby here?’ I did not know what my options were; I hadn’t researched or talked to anyone about them yet.

I did read ‘Give Birth Like A Feminist’ by Milli Hill when we were trying to get pregnant, which is when home births first became an idea in my mind.

Then I was surprised at my first midwife appointment that when she asked where I wanted to give birth that she said ‘at home?’ first. She said she had never registered someone for a home birth before. I thought maybe I should think about it more as she straight away referred me to the home birth team, but she did say I could change my mind.

I really wanted one, but I was worried about the neighbours in case the birth was during the night…

#TIsWorriedAboutTheRisksOfHomeBirth
#SoINeedToFindHimSomeInfo

I told T and he wasn’t very enthusiastic about the idea. Back then he was very much ‘you go to hospital and you do what the doctors say as they know best’. Luckily, we did an online hypnobirthing course together and he completely changed his mindset.

Now if he finds out that anyone is pregnant he really recommends the course to them; he says it made him feel empowered (so imagine how it made me feel). There is so much that we never knew about pregnancy before doing the course and it just explained things in a way that made things less daunting. T always says that ‘knowledge is power’ and with the knowledge you know how to advocate for yourself.

In the end I never got a home birth, but the course definitely empowered me to say no to a c-section (if I had needed one then fair enough, but I didn’t) and to ask for a vaginal delivery. T wasn’t there during the discussions due to Covid, so I did not have anyone to back me up. Luckily it worked out in the end, though I didn’t get a home birth or water birth. It’s just really good to know your options and think about your preferences (though my birth plan never accounted for a breech baby – so if you’re reading this while pregnant please think about it and what you would want to do).

I also learned that staying calm will help labour continue (adrenaline stops surges), so I focused on doing the breathing techniques that I had learned on the course and danced to music and tried to relax as much as possible whilst waiting on the maternity ward. If I had got stressed out then I probably would have had to have a C-section as they put me on a countdown (at 9am they said if I wasn’t in established labour by 6pm then I would not be allowed to have a vaginal delivery). I do love a challenge…

#OtherPeopleHaveExpressedTheirDisapproval

Funnily enough with Covid and all, those who weren’t so keen on me having a home birth in the beginning actually saw it as a good idea in the end. It seemed less risky going somewhere where I could possibly get Covid and everything. However precautions were in place there (I had a lovely swab up the nose) and it was so odd but nice to be around a lot of strangers for the first time in months.

You can read my birth story here and about my hospital stay here.


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