Categories
Pregnancy Waiting II

I Have Not Taken A Nude Full Length This Pregnancy, So Now Feels Like The Time To (36 Weeks / 9th January 2022)

Full length nude showing my bump. White boxes censor the image.
I Have Not Taken A Nude Full Length This Pregnancy, So Now Feels Like The Time To (36 Weeks / 9th January 2022)
 
#LookingBackAtWhenIWasPregnantWithBITookAFullLengthNudeAt36WeeksSoItWouldBeNiceToHaveAComparisonPictureForMyself
#IFeelLikeIfIDoNotDoItTodayThenIMightNotHaveTheChanceTo
#MyMumAndADogWalkerSaidYesterdayThatMyBumpLookedLikeItHadDroppedMoreSinceTheLastTimeTheySawMeWhichHadOnlyBeenACoupleOfDays
#IThinkWithBIReallyDidNotThinkThatSheWouldComeBeforeHerDueDateThatIDidNotNoticeAnySignsThatLabourWasImminent
#ThisTimeIAmOnHighAlertThatTheBabyCouldComeAnyDayNowAndThinkThatAnyTwingeOrPainCouldMeanSomething
#ISuddenlyHaveABitMoreEnergyWhichIsNiceButItCouldBeASignThatLabourIsClose
#TheInsideOfMyTopRightLegHasBeenHurtingALotLatelyWhichCouldBeDueToRelaxinAndOrOverStretching
#YesterdayILookedToSeeWhatTheLatestCovidRulesAreAtTheHospitalThatIAmDueToGiveBirthIn
#YourBirthPartnerHasToLeaveOnceYouGetMovedFromTheDeliverySuiteToThePostNatalWardAndTheyAreNotAllowedToVisitDuringYourStay
#IHaveJustCheckedTheWebsiteAgainAndItIsVeryMisleadingAsToWhatTheRulesAre
#ItLooksLikeABirthPartnerCanBeWithYouFromTheTimeYouAreAdmittedButIMightBeMissingSomething
#IUnderstandWhyTheRulesMayBeStrictAgainAsServicesAreStretchedAndALotOfStaffAreIll
#ButItIsFrustratingThatThingsMightBeExactlyBackToHowTheyWereWhenIGaveBirthToBInJune2020
#IMightNotBeInForVeryLongThisTimeButIAlsoHaveToMentallyPrepareMyselfInCaseItIsARepeatOfLastTime
#ICavedAndOrderedSomeSleepsuitsForTheBabyLikeTheOnesWeHadForBAsTheyWereSoConvenient
#ILoveHavingAZipThatGoesBothWaysAndBuiltInMittensAndFeetThatYouCanFoldAndUnfoldOver
#TheyArrivedYesterdayAndMyHospitalBagsArePrettyMuchPackedNow
#MostOfTheStuffLeftToPackAreThingsThatIAmUsingLikeClothesAndChargersEtc
#TiagoBoughtSomeSnacksAndDrinksToPackYesterdaySoThatIsGood
#WeHaveStartedToWatchSomeHypnobirthingVideosAndIFeelABitMoreRelaxedAgain
#IWasStartingToFeelABitStressedAndWeirdlyDisconnectedAboutTheFactThatIMayBeGivingBirthSoon
#BHasANewObsessionWithHerBellyButtonWhichIsQuiteCute
#SheWillStartAnotherSessionOfNurseryInACoupleOfWeeksSoIAmFeelingRelievedAboutThat
#WeCanOnlyJustifySendingHerAsWeLiveWithMyNanAndSaveSomeMoney
#ItWillBeABigHelpThoughWhenTheBabyComesAndIKnowThatBIsGettingEnoughStimulation
#IHadToPickHerUpTheOtherDayAsTiagoWentOutToWorkForOnceAndHerCarerWasSayingAboutHowMuchSheLovesMilk
#IWasLikeYeahItIsABigObsessionOfHersButSheHasStartedToNotDrinkItAllInOneGoNowAndTakeSomeBitesOfFoodInBetweenSipsWhichSeemsGood
#IWishBCouldTellUsAboutHerTimeAtNurseryAndWhatSheGetsUpToButIGuessWeWillHaveToWaitAWhile
#HerCarerSaidThatBIsSayingTwoWordSentencesButIAmNotSureIfSheMeansActualWordsOrJustBabble
#BWillQuiteHappilyChatForAWhileWithALotOfEmotionAndLaughterAndHandGesturesButIHaveNoClueWhatSheIsSaying

(I’m feeling awkward about posting this and it’s censored.)

#LookingBackAtWhenIWasPregnantWithBITookAFullLengthNudeAt36WeeksSoItWouldBeNiceToHaveAComparisonPictureForMyself

I saw the image when I was comparing pregnancy images in my last post, and thought I should do a similar shoot.

#IFeelLikeIfIDoNotDoItTodayThenIMightNotHaveTheChanceTo

I know this baby is different to B, but B came really soon in comparison.

#MyMumAndADogWalkerSaidYesterdayThatMyBumpLookedLikeItHadDroppedMoreSinceTheLastTimeTheySawMeWhichHadOnlyBeenACoupleOfDays

I really don’t notice it, but I feel like I can breathe a bit better when I lie in bed, so (I believe) that’s usually a sign that it has dropped.

#IThinkWithBIReallyDidNotThinkThatSheWouldComeBeforeHerDueDateThatIDidNotNoticeAnySignsThatLabourWasImminent

Well, the only thing I can think of is that she was super active the day before she was born (that she turned round), but I was oblivious to any other signs that may have occurred.

#ThisTimeIAmOnHighAlertThatTheBabyCouldComeAnyDayNowAndThinkThatAnyTwingeOrPainCouldMeanSomething

Back pain – ooh does that mean I’m close? A cramp – oh? I know that these things can mean it is a few weeks away, which it could be.

#ISuddenlyHaveABitMoreEnergyWhichIsNiceButItCouldBeASignThatLabourIsClose

All the signs. Any signs. I’ll read into anything now.

#TheInsideOfMyTopRightLegHasBeenHurtingALotLatelyWhichCouldBeDueToRelaxinAndOrOverStretching

Another sign? Actually, it didn’t hurt yesterday for the first day in a while.

#YesterdayILookedToSeeWhatTheLatestCovidRulesAreAtTheHospitalThatIAmDueToGiveBirthIn

I’ve been avoiding looking as I didn’t see the point in looking too early in case things changed.

#YourBirthPartnerHasToLeaveOnceYouGetMovedFromTheDeliverySuiteToThePostNatalWardAndTheyAreNotAllowedToVisitDuringYourStay

Which is what the rules were when I had B – but it’s a different hospital as I was in Liverpool then.

#IHaveJustCheckedTheWebsiteAgainAndItIsVeryMisleadingAsToWhatTheRulesAre

A page about maternity says about being allowed to visit, but a webpage I found on my phone mentions that visiting is no longer allowed. They need to sync their pages.

#ItLooksLikeABirthPartnerCanBeWithYouFromTheTimeYouAreAdmittedButIMightBeMissingSomething

It might be on a page that I did not find.

#IUnderstandWhyTheRulesMayBeStrictAgainAsServicesAreStretchedAndALotOfStaffAreIll

I get it, I do.

#ButItIsFrustratingThatThingsMightBeExactlyBackToHowTheyWereWhenIGaveBirthToBInJune2020

I knew that when we were trying to get pregnant that I might have another Covid baby, but I did not think that cases would be so bad again and that there would be such hospital restrictions. Fun times.

#IMightNotBeInForVeryLongThisTimeButIAlsoHaveToMentallyPrepareMyselfInCaseItIsARepeatOfLastTime

I guess it depends on how breastfeeding goes, how desperately they need my bed, what kind of birth I have, what time of the day I give birth etc.

#ICavedAndOrderedSomeSleepsuitsForTheBabyLikeTheOnesWeHadForBAsTheyWereSoConvenient #ILoveHavingAZipThatGoesBothWaysAndBuiltInMittensAndFeetThatYouCanFoldAndUnfoldOver

We haven’t been able to find her 0-3 month clothes, but her sleepsuits were so worn anyways that it’s probably nicer for the baby to have new ones. I got them in a sale, and I dressed B’s in hers all day every day so we’ll get the use out of them.

#TheyArrivedYesterdayAndMyHospitalBagsArePrettyMuchPackedNow

Hurrah. One bag for baby, one bag for me.

#MostOfTheStuffLeftToPackAreThingsThatIAmUsingLikeClothesAndChargersEtc

It was a similar situation when I was pregnant with B. Everything packed that can be packed, then a list of things to grab when the time comes.

#TiagoBoughtSomeSnacksAndDrinksToPackYesterdaySoThatIsGood

Snack bars, sports drinks, snack mix, crisps etc. Last time I didn’t want to eat during labour, but the food came in handy for my long hospital stay.

#WeHaveStartedToWatchSomeHypnobirthingVideosAndIFeelABitMoreRelaxedAgain

I was getting worried that B would never read the book, so it seems like a good idea.

#IWasStartingToFeelABitStressedAndWeirdlyDisconnectedAboutTheFactThatIMayBeGivingBirthSoon

I’ve done it before, but the fact it could be so different this time is stressing me out a bit. I just need to relax.

#BHasANewObsessionWithHerBellyButtonWhichIsQuiteCute

Yesterday she unzipped her sleepsuit (she generally wears her sleepsuits all day unless she has nursery as it’s so easy to layer clothes over them if we go out – I ordered her a couple of 12-18 months suits as she is still in 6-12 months and the 18-24 months that I bought look massive) and was looking at it.

#SheWillStartAnotherSessionOfNurseryInACoupleOfWeeksSoIAmFeelingRelievedAboutThat

I was hoping that she would start next week, but they were quite slow about arranging it so I feel less bad about buying the sleepsuits as the money saved on a session next week pays for them.

#WeCanOnlyJustifySendingHerAsWeLiveWithMyNanAndSaveSomeMoney

If we moved out now I’d be at home with two kids all week, so it makes sense to stay here until our big move. Respect to the people who stay at home with their kids all week, but it seems too much for me. Sending B to nursery has been such a big relief in my third trimester.

#ItWillBeABigHelpThoughWhenTheBabyComesAndIKnowThatBIsGettingEnoughStimulation

I know that every week day I will have some help now, which I am very grateful for and realise I am extremely privileged to have (T works all week, and my Nan can do some things but I can’t just leave her alone with B for 5 hours).

#IHadToPickHerUpTheOtherDayAsTiagoWentOutToWorkForOnceAndHerCarerWasSayingAboutHowMuchSheLovesMilk

He hasn’t had to leave the house for work for a while, and he also has to one day this week which I am a bit nervous about.

#IWasLikeYeahItIsABigObsessionOfHersButSheHasStartedToNotDrinkItAllInOneGoNowAndTakeSomeBitesOfFoodInBetweenSipsWhichSeemsGood

B loves milk. It’s a fact. I only give her a small amount at each meal as otherwise I feel like she would not eat much.

#IWishBCouldTellUsAboutHerTimeAtNurseryAndWhatSheGetsUpToButIGuessWeWillHaveToWaitAWhile

I’ve said this before probably, but it’s weird sending your daughter off and not hearing from her what happens etc.

#HerCarerSaidThatBIsSayingTwoWordSentencesButIAmNotSureIfSheMeansActualWordsOrJustBabble

I think she means babbling. B is really trying to talk.

#BWillQuiteHappilyChatForAWhileWithALotOfEmotionAndLaughterAndHandGesturesButIHaveNoClueWhatSheIsSaying

I can’t wait for her to start saying actual words and for us to have conversations. It sounds like she has a nice voice.

36 weeks pregnant with B comparison:

Self-portrait sat on the sofa. My bump looks very round and it is a closeup, which my elbows resting over my boobs.
The Baby Just Seems So Protected And Safe In My Belly (36 and a half weeks)
 
#IStillHaveNotBeenSleepingGreat
#WeOrderedSomeNewPillowsWhichArrivedYesterday
#ThoughtWeMightAsWellWithNoPlansToGoAnywhereThisSummer
#AndApparentSleepDeprivationAroundTheCorner
#ThePillowDoesFeelGreatButItDoesNotFixMyProblemOfHavingToWakeUpToTurnOver
#NotSureIfTheLackOfSleepIsDownToMyBodyTryingToPrepareMeForFutureLackOfSleep
#ThoughTalkingToOtherPregnantWomenIAmNotTheOnlyOne
#OurFavouriteFalafelPlaceHasReopenedSoWeGotTakeawayForLunch
#ThatWillProbablyBeTheHighlightOfTheWeekSoItSeemedWorthMentioning
#OtherwiseIGuessWeAreJustApproachingTheWaitingGameNow
#ItIsBabysDueMonthThoughItCouldComeNextMonth
#ABabyFromTheNCTGroupIsDueTodayAndAnotherIsDueTomorrow
#TheyAreTheFirstOnesThatAreDue
#ItWillBeInterestingToSeeWhenAll8BabiesAreBorn
#EarlyOnDateOrLate
#IHopeMineComesAfterTheDueDate
#JustToGiveMeMoreTimeToGetMyHeadAroundItAllAndWindDownABitMore
#ParticularlyAsIStillHaveWorkOnUntilTheWeekBeforeMyDueDate
#ThoughIKnowBabyWillComeWhenBabyWantsTo
#IThinkWeAreReadyEnoughThough
#WatchingThisPostNatalCourseIsReallyUsefulAsIStillFeelLikeIHaveSoMuchLearn
#AndIKnowIWillKeepLearningEveryDayOnceTheBabyArrivesAnyways
#TheBabyJustSeemsSoProtectedAndSafeInMyBelly
#ICanFeelItsHiccupsRightNow
#ItGetsEverythingItWantsOnTapRightNow
#TheWholeFourthTrimesterThingMakesSense
#TheBabyNotNeedingTotalQuietAndWantingToBeCloseEtc
#LikeIHaveSaid100TimesBeforeAtLeastThePandemicAllowsUsMoreTimeToNotRushBackToNormalLife
#ThoughOurNormalLifeTheseDaysIsJustBeingAtHomeForAtLeast23HoursADayReally
#IProbablyWillJustTakeTheBabyOutForWalksAroundLiverpoolInTheBeginning

I’ve been sleeping better this time, but it’s probably because I am tired from looking after B and the mattress at my Nan’s is comfier. I feel like I don’t have to turn over so much for pain reasons.

I miss our favourite falafel place. There is a falafel place that we get takeaway from here, but I’m not sure if it is as good. I don’t get salt headaches from this place though, which is good.

‘#IHopeMineComesAfterTheDueDate’

I was glad in the end that she came early as I did not have to wait and it was so unexpected when my waters broke. This time I’m on high alert, so it’s not as fun, though I guess I think this one won’t be so early. We’ll see.

I feel a bit more unprepared in ways – like I haven’t read/watched as much, but it’s not that long since B was a newborn and I know a bit more about looking after a baby this time (you’d hope).

I definitely took B on a lot of walks. I’m looking forward to taking baby X on walks while B is at nursery, and listening to podcasts and things. I feel like I haven’t had earphones in in a long time – though in Liverpool no one spoke to me, whereas I know a lot of local people now. It’ll be nice to show off the baby a bit.


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Categories
Pregnancy Waiting II

Portrait Of A Mother Of An Eighteen Month Old (33 Weeks / 15th December 2021)

Self-portrait where I am kneeling on the bed. I am looking off to the left of the frame. I am dressed all in black and have my hands on my knees.
Portrait Of A Mother Of An Eighteen Month Old (33 Weeks / 15th December 2021)
 
#ICanNotBelieveThatBIsAYearAndAHalf
#ThoughInSomeWaysIFeelLikeSheIsOlderAndIAtTimesStillFindItOddThatIHaveAChild
#WellICouldSoonBeAMotherOfTwoAndMyNanPointsOutAtLeastOnceADayHowBigMyBumpIsGetting
#SometimesIWorryThatIAmATerribleMotherButThenTheNewsLatelyRemindsMeThatIReallyAmNot
#IHadToLeaveTheRoomWhenTheNewsWasOnEarlierTalkingAboutTheMurderOfASixteenMonthOldGirl
#IHadACryAndIWasTheSameWithTheNewsOfTheMurderOfASixYearOldBoy
#MakingBLaughIsTheBestFeelingInTheWorldAndHearingHerLaughIsTheBestSound
#SheLikesToHaveARunAroundBeforeBedtimeNowWithUsChasingHer
#AtThePlaygroundTodayWeWerePlayingPeekabooLotsAndSheLovedIt
#IHaveDiscoveredThatICanPutHerPushchairHandlebarsLowEnoughForHerToBeAbleToPushItNowThoughIDoHaveToSteerIt
#TodaySheStartedToStandUpOnTheStepOnTheBackOfHerPushchairAndLaterOnSatDownOnItFacingMeForTheFirstTime
#SheIsDefinitelyShowingOffHerPersonalityMoreWhichIsReallyCool
#ThoughSheDoesLikeToDropToHerKneesAndCryWhenTiagoGoesToLeaveARoom
#SheHasAlsoJustStartedToWalkIntoARoomWhereHeIsAndDropToHerKneesDramatically
#WhenHeGoesToPutHerDownSheWillOftenLiftHerLegsUpAndHoverAboveTheFloor
#SheLikesToSitInHisOfficeChairNowAndDrawOnHisNotepadWithHisPens
#IGotHerSomeColouringPencilsButSheDoesNotSeemToLikeThemSoIGotSomeWashableFeltTipsThatWeAreYetToTryOut
#IFinishedHerBabyBookAndAmDebatingJustBuyingTheSameOneForBabyXButMaybeDoingItADifferentWayThisTime
#IWouldFeelBadIfIDidNotDoSomethingAndAmWorryItMightNotBeAsGoodSoItWasProbablyBestToDoSomethingSimilar
#IFinallyTookBBackToTheSoftPlayPlaceThatWeWentToInMay
#WeMetUpWithAPregnantLadyAndHerDaughterWhoIMetOnAMumApp
#WeBookedInForTheFirstSessionOfTheDayAndItWasGreatAsItWasSoQuiet
#IFeltComfortableKnowingThatItWasProbablyTheCleanestItWouldBeAllDayToo
#EveryoneWasWearingMasksThisTimeApartFromOneGuyWhoMayHaveBeenExempt
#BKeptWantingToGoOnTheSlideSoIHadToGoOnItTooAndItWasGoodFun
#ItStillIsNotSomewhereThatIWouldWantToGoWithJustBThoughAsIThinkItIsQuiteBoringIfNoOneTalksToYou
#CovidCasesAreRisingAndIAmGettingABitWorriedNowAsIDoNotWantToBeCovidPositiveWhenTheBabyComes
#IDoKnowWhatBirthingProtocolIsForAPositivePersonButAlsoItWillComplicateChildcareIssuesWithB
#TiagoIsDueToGetHisBoosterThisWeekendWhichIsGoodAsHeHadHisSecondVaccineInAprilSoHisProtectionIsProbablyRunningLow
#MineIsBookedForNextWeekForWhenItWillHaveBeen3MonthsSinceMyLastDoseWhichIsGoodAsICanDefinitelyFeelThatMyLungCapacityIsReducedDueToABabySquashingAllMyOrgans

#ICanNotBelieveThatBIsAYearAndAHalf

Happy year and half B – though you’ll be a lot older by the time I post this.

#ThoughInSomeWaysIFeelLikeSheIsOlderAndIAtTimesStillFindItOddThatIHaveAChild

I’m terrible at aging young kids as I did not have much experience with them prior to having one, but at times she does seem older. Also, it feels like she’s been in my life for a lot longer than she has – I guess if you add on the 9ish months of pregnancy, then that would seem a bit more accurate.

I do still often look at her and think ‘whoa, I have a kid’.

#WellICouldSoonBeAMotherOfTwoAndMyNanPointsOutAtLeastOnceADayHowBigMyBumpIsGetting

It’s just weird. My Nan pointed out my bump today just after I’d had lunch, and then after dinner.

#SometimesIWorryThatIAmATerribleMotherButThenTheNewsLatelyRemindsMeThatIReallyAmNot

I feel bad when I am tired and just leave her to amuse herself for a bit, but it is good for her.

#IHadToLeaveTheRoomWhenTheNewsWasOnEarlierTalkingAboutTheMurderOfASixteenMonthOldGirl

I couldn’t see her face. She was only two months younger than B. I don’t get how people can be so cruel…

#IHadACryAndIWasTheSameWithTheNewsOfTheMurderOfASixYearOldBoy

I feel like I saw his lovely face every day, and it’s so heartbreaking. Especially as his family was fighting so much to protect him and look after him. I’d just turn the TV off, but my Nan is usually watching it.

These are just two cases of many.

It reminds me of a Sandra Bullock interview that I saw the other day, where she talks about how a lot of kids don’t have anyone to love them, and it’s so sad.

#MakingBLaughIsTheBestFeelingInTheWorldAndHearingHerLaughIsTheBestSound

I don’t get how people can enjoy making their kids cry or hurt them.

#SheLikesToHaveARunAroundBeforeBedtimeNowWithUsChasingHer

I’m usually tutting and saying ‘it’s bedtime soon, yeah’, but it’s also good for her to get all the energy out before going to bed. She suddenly seems to wake up.

#AtThePlaygroundTodayWeWerePlayingPeekabooLotsAndSheLovedIt

I was hiding behind various things, and she was hiding behind other things. Great fun.

#IHaveDiscoveredThatICanPutHerPushchairHandlebarsLowEnoughForHerToBeAbleToPushItNowThoughIDoHaveToSteerIt

This is a great discovery as she likes to be picked up to push the bar, but I have not been able to do it for a while as it is too difficult for me, and Tiago held her to do it for so long the other day that his back hurt.

#TodaySheStartedToStandUpOnTheStepOnTheBackOfHerPushchairAndLaterOnSatDownOnItFacingMeForTheFirstTime

Also great, as it keeps her happy, though it will be better when she is slightly taller as when she stands up the button that you push to move the handlebars up and down is at her eye height at the moment.

#SheIsDefinitelyShowingOffHerPersonalityMoreWhichIsReallyCool

She’s picked up another cold from nursery, but she still likes to have fun. I think she is also teething.

#ThoughSheDoesLikeToDropToHerKneesAndCryWhenTiagoGoesToLeaveARoom

I think he is nervous that he might have two kids that are a bit obsessed with him.

#SheHasAlsoJustStartedToWalkIntoARoomWhereHeIsAndDropToHerKneesDramatically

The first time she did it he thought she had fallen, but I saw her purposefully do it. He won’t pick her up until she stands up though which is good.

#WhenHeGoesToPutHerDownSheWillOftenLiftHerLegsUpAndHoverAboveTheFloor

This makes me laugh.

#SheLikesToSitInHisOfficeChairNowAndDrawOnHisNotepadWithHisPens

She can climb up on it by herself, which I am quite impressed by.

#IGotHerSomeColouringPencilsButSheDoesNotSeemToLikeThemSoIGotSomeWashableFeltTipsThatWeAreYetToTryOut

The pencils are a bit weak compared to T’s pen, but it’s not the safest option for her. The pens arrived today, so we’ll try them out soon.

#IFinishedHerBabyBookAndAmDebatingJustBuyingTheSameOneForBabyXButMaybeDoingItADifferentWayThisTime

We got an instax printer and printed phone pictures out, but I do not like how they look at all – and it was way more expensive than just getting them printed at the supermarket or via a printing site.

#IWouldFeelBadIfIDidNotDoSomethingAndAmWorryItMightNotBeAsGoodSoItWasProbablyBestToDoSomethingSimilar

Tiago just had a look through the whole book, and I feel good that I made the effort to do it now. It’s also weird seeing her so small. I need to start making a family album too.

#IFinallyTookBBackToTheSoftPlayPlaceThatWeWentToInMay

We’d only been to soft play once since then, and that was at a different place.

#WeMetUpWithAPregnantLadyAndHerDaughterWhoIMetOnAMumApp

We have met up with them once before, but it rained the whole time and it was too stressful trying to keep B entertained outside of a coffee shop.

#WeBookedInForTheFirstSessionOfTheDayAndItWasGreatAsItWasSoQuiet

Amazing. It is a better place to the other one that I took B too, but it feels more claustrophobic / less airy.

#IFeltComfortableKnowingThatItWasProbablyTheCleanestItWouldBeAllDayToo

As I imagine that they do a good clean once everyone leaves, and we saw them cleaning while we were there too.

#EveryoneWasWearingMasksThisTimeApartFromOneGuyWhoMayHaveBeenExempt

Last time people slowly took their masks off, which annoyed me.

#BKeptWantingToGoOnTheSlideSoIHadToGoOnItTooAndItWasGoodFun

I wanted to send her on by herself, but I was worried that she would fall down weirdly. I would help her go down by herself, then follow her very slowly.

#ItStillIsNotSomewhereThatIWouldWantToGoWithJustBThoughAsIThinkItIsQuiteBoringIfNoOneTalksToYou

I need adult conversation. If it was a bit nearer and Covid wasn’t on the rise, then I guess I would be a bit more enthusiastic. By the time I had walked there and home again I was aching.

#CovidCasesAreRisingAndIAmGettingABitWorriedNowAsIDoNotWantToBeCovidPositiveWhenTheBabyComes

I’ve said this before, but yeah I am worried.

#IDoKnowWhatBirthingProtocolIsForAPositivePersonButAlsoItWillComplicateChildcareIssuesWithB

Tiago would probably have to stay home with B – this also goes for if my parents get Covid. I need to just relax though and try not to stress.

#TiagoIsDueToGetHisBoosterThisWeekendWhichIsGoodAsHeHadHisSecondVaccineInAprilSoHisProtectionIsProbablyRunningLow

I’ll feel better when he gets it. Luckily I ordered some flow tests last week, as there is a shortage. His is booked for Saturday evening, so he has Sunday to recover if need be.

#MineIsBookedForNextWeekForWhenItWillHaveBeen3MonthsSinceMyLastDoseWhichIsGoodAsICanDefinitelyFeelThatMyLungCapacityIsReducedDueToABabySquashingAllMyOrgans

I’m booked in at a medical centre, which is quite far from where we live but my Doctors messaged today to say they will be sending out booking info for there from tomorrow, so I might try to change it as it would be way more convenient to just be able to walk to my appointment. Everything does feel way more squished…

33 weeks pregnant with B comparison:

Self-portrait where I am hiding behind a piece of black fabric, but an arm, a leg and my bump are visible.
Things Seem A Bit More Real After My Midwife Appointment Today (33 weeks)
 
#WellTheBigNewsIsThatHomeBirthsHaveBeenUnsuspended
#ThoughMyMidwifeSaidThatThingsMightChangeAgain
#IDoNotKnowHowTheUKWillBeWhenIGiveBirth
#ButIFeelABitMoreRelaxedNow
#KnowingThatWeCanTakeOurTimeAndTiagoCanBeAroundTheWholeTime
#IfIHadToGiveBirthWithoutHimIAmSureICouldDoIt
#ButItIsMoreThatTheIsHeAllowedIsHeNotWhereIsHeThoughtsWillBeLessPresentIfIHaveAHomeBirth
#ObviouslyThereAreRisksAndIMightHaveToGoToHospitalAnywaysButIfWeCanStayInOurFlatThenItIsNice
#ThoughIStillWorryAboutWhatTheNeighboursWillThink
#ThingsFeelABitMoreRealNowAfterMyLatestAppointment
#WeHaveAListOfThingsThatWeNeedToGet
#AndSheTalkedALotAboutTheSnacksAndDrinksThatMightBeGoodToHelpMe
#IAmExcitedAboutSnacksThoughSheSaidThatAfterAWhileIWillNotWantToEat
#SheAskedMeIfIAmGoingToSetMyCameraUp
#IAmGladSheAskedAsIHopeToButIDoNotWantItToBeTooMuchOfADistraction
#ShameThereIsNotAnotherMeToDocumentIt
#IImagineThatIWillNotGetThePhotosIWantSoIDoNotWantToStressAboutIt
#MaybeINeedToTeachTiagoSomeSkillsButAtTheSameTimeIWantHimToJustBeWithMe
#ItIsFunnyAsTheMidwifeHasBeenTheOnlyPersonIHaveHadSuperCloseContactWithSinceLockdownBesidesTiago
#SheIsSendingSomeoneElseForMyNextAppointmentJustSoIHaveMetAnotherMidwifeAsSheMayNotBeAtTheBirth
#SheHadAGoodFeelOfTheBump
#ItIsCurrentlyHeadDownWithItsBackToMyBelly
#AgainSheSaidMyCoreIsStrong
#ButSheDidNotCommentOnMyMuscleSeparationSoItCanNotBeThatBad
#IGotUpEarlyToExerciseAndEatAndDrinkPlentyAndMyBloodCameOutFineForTheTest
#TiagoJustGotBackFromTheSupermarket
#ItIsABitSadHowMuchIMissGoingToBuyFood
#CravingsAreTotallyPointlessTheseDays
#IHaveFoundMyselfWastingAGoodHalfAnHourLookingAtFoodOnTakeawaySites
#IDoGetABitExcitedSeeingWhatTiagoPullsFromTheShoppingBagsThough
#TodayHeHadAReducedCheesecakeAndGotMeMyFavouriteChocolateOatMilk

Well, it’s good to know that at the same point of pregnancy things were a bit unclear. It was definitely more unclear then though – there were no vaccines.

As I have said many times before, I ended up not having a home birth so most of this was irrelevant, and he was there for the birth once I was allowed into a delivery suite – however, he was not able to visit B and I for the 4 days that we were there. I do wonder how it will be this time.

‘#IAmExcitedAboutSnacksThoughSheSaidThatAfterAWhileIWillNotWantToEat’

We got way too many snacks, but they came in handy during my long stay in the hospital. I did struggle to eat my hospital lunch when I was in the early stage of labour…

‘#SheAskedMeIfIAmGoingToSetMyCameraUp’

There are no pictures of me giving birth, which I am sad about, so I would like it to be different this time, but I also do not want to get distracted/I feel a bit awkward about it as I (imagine I) will be in hospital. I need to start thinking about this.

‘#IHaveFoundMyselfWastingAGoodHalfAnHourLookingAtFoodOnTakeawaySites’

These were sad times. I used to do it a lot…

Self-portrait from my neck to just below my waist. I am wearing a bra and my bump is on display. T is next to my bump, with a beard. It is a remake of an image that I took at 22 and a half weeks - he didn't have a beard then.
The Bump & The Beard (33 weeks)
 
#ItIsFunnyHowDifferentTiagoLooksToTheOriginalThatWeTookAt22AndAHalfWeeks
#IHaveNeverSeenHimWithThisMuchFacialHairBefore
#HeSaysHeHasNeverHadThisMuchFacialHairBefore
#HeMightGetRidOfItSoon
#ItIsFunnySeeingHowMuchBiggerMyBumpIsToo
#YesterdayWeWalkedADifferentWayAsOurWalksHaveBeenGettingShorter
#WalkingDownTheSameRoadAllTheTimeIsSoDemotivating
#WeWalkedInTheDirectionThatIsMorePopular
#TiagoIsTheOneWhoGoesOutAndDoesFoodShoppingSoHeIsUsedToBeingAroundAndSeeingMorePeople
#WhereasIHaveBecomeABitScaredOfPeople
#SoItWasGoodToSeeMorePeopleAndEnjoyALongerWalkAndChangeOfScenery
#SomePeopleStillWalkABitTooCloseForMyLiking
#ItIsQuiteObviousThatIAmPregnantNowIfYouAreWalkingTowardsMe
#MaybeTheyThinkThatBecauseIAmPregnantThatIAmNotLikelyToHaveCovidAndGiveItToThem
#ButIDoNotKnowIfTheyHaveItOrNotSoIWouldPreferIfTheyKeptTheirDistance
#ItIsWeirdImaginingAWorldPostAllOfThis
#MaybeItWillFeelEasyButIThinkRealisticallyIWillBeEmergingFromThisWithABaby
#AndSoTheOutsideWorldWillBeADifferentExperienceForMeAnyways
#ItIsGoingToBeOddNotHavingTiagoAroundAllTheTime
#IHaveBeenSpoiltAsHeHasBeenMaking99PercentOfTheMeals
#ITendToJustMakeCheeseAndPickleSandwiches
#ItWillBeWeirdHavingLunchByMyself
#WellIKeepThinkingAndSayingByMyselfButIWillHaveTheBabyAround
#IPictureMyselfWithTheBabyButItStillFeelsSoFarAway
#ThoughTimeIsMovingQuick
#INeedToStartPreparingMoreAgain
#IWasDoingWellAndThenTheNCTCourseKnackeredMeOut
#SoINeedToGetBackIntoReadingMoreThingsAndBuyingTheLastBitsAndBobs
#IAskedTiagoIfHeWantedToSayAnything
#HeJustSaidThatHeIsKeenToMeetTheBaby

This is a remake of I Have Told Him Before That If He Wants To Touch The Bump Then He Has To Make Sure His Hands Are Warm (22 and a half weeks).

At some point after moving he decided to keep a beard, though he keeps it quite short and neat.

This time I do manage to do a good walk as I have the pushchair to push which definitely helps me move, but I do need to be careful as I get quite achy.

‘#MaybeItWillFeelEasyButIThinkRealisticallyIWillBeEmergingFromThisWithABaby’

It’s weird that I will be emerging from this with two kids – if we ever emerge.

‘#ItIsGoingToBeOddNotHavingTiagoAroundAllTheTime’

He’s still around 99% of the time, and now the Government have said to work from home if you can, so hopefully it stays like that for a while so he won’t be out (which he rarely is) when I go into labour.

I need to read my hypnobirthing book again.


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Categories
Pregnancy Waiting

Failed Blood Tests (7 and a half-ish weeks)

This is a post about the sixth image from my series Waiting For Things In A Time When You Rarely Wait For Things where I documented my pregnancy from October 2019 to June 2020.

I haven’t posted about this project since July. I was just having a morning stretch and thought I should post about it again – even if they’re just short posts. Before I was making my life difficult by digging through outtakes, so I’m just going to focus on the photo/s that I chose for each set of hashtags.

So here we go…

Photo of my body. Arm has a plaster on it from a blood test
Failed Blood Tests (7 and a half-ish weeks)
 
#SoTheyTriedToTakeMyBloodAndFailed
#ProbablyBecauseItWas10amAndIHadNotEatenYet
#AsIHadBeenSickThatMorningAndItPutMeOff
#ItSeemsSoEarlyToBeTalkingAboutOptions
#WhereIWantToGiveBirthWhenItSeemsSoEarlyAndIDoNotKnowTheFullFacts
#TheMidwifeMentionedAHomeBirth
#ILikeTheIdeaOfItButImmediatelyIJustThoughtAboutTheNeighboursAndWhatTheyWouldThink
#LivingInAFlatWithNeighboursOnMostSidesAndUpAndDownDoesNotMakeItSoAppealing
#ButIDoNotHearMuchFromThem
#ApartFromOneNeighbourWhoCoughsLoudly
#AndOnceICouldHearOneVomitingThroughTheVents
#WhichIsWhatIWorriedThisMorningWhenIWasBeingSick
#TIsWorriedAboutTheRisksOfHomeBirth
#SoINeedToFindHimSomeInfo
#OtherPeopleHaveExpressedTheirDisapproval
#WhichUpsetsMe
#AsItIsSoEarlyAndItIsNotSetInStoneYet
#ButThatIsMyPersonalPreference
#AndIAmTheOneGivingBirth
#AndIWantToFeelAsRelaxedAndComfortableAsPossibleToDoTheJobThatPeopleHaveBeenDoingForThousandsOfYears
#AsICanNotBeBotheredWithBeingSuperStressedOut
#LikeISaidMyMainConcernIsTheNeighbours
#SoLetUsHopeForAShortLabourThatIsMidDayAndNotMidNight
#ButItMightNotHappen
#MaybeIWillGoToTheHospitalOrABirthingCentre
#ABirthingPoolIsAllIReallyWant
#AsIWillNotGetASummerHolidaySoICanPretendIAmInTheSeaWhichIsWhereIFeelMostAtPeace
#FingersCrossedThatAllGoesWellFromHere
#ItAllSeemsTooEarlyButTodayMadeThingsABitMoreReal
#IDoNotKnowHowIGotTheScratchOnMyBelly

So I took this photo in November when there wasn’t even a whiff of pandemic in the air (ooh so poetic).

I really do not know how I got that scratch; I’m guessing it was a rogue fingernail.

The photo is cropped and rotated – I don’t like having to crop my work for some reason, but too much boob felt unnecessary. I do like that the picture is a little abstract.

#SoTheyTriedToTakeMyBloodAndFailed
#ProbablyBecauseItWas10amAndIHadNotEatenYet #AsIHadBeenSickThatMorningAndItPutMeOff

Typically it was the first day that I had actually been sick. Later on I would realise that eating a little bit when I felt sick would make me feel better, but at this point I did not know that.

Afterwards before every blood test I would make sure that I drank plenty and ate something. Usually my appointments would be in the morning so I would have less time to eat, and I went off a lot of food so I’d at least try to eat something that I could tolerate (usually some light crisps – like the oven baked ones).

#ItSeemsSoEarlyToBeTalkingAboutOptions
#WhereIWantToGiveBirthWhenItSeemsSoEarlyAndIDoNotKnowTheFullFacts
#TheMidwifeMentionedAHomeBirth

Back then there were more options, but it did seem super early. I remember calling the hospital when I found out I was pregnant and they were like ‘so you’re having the baby here?’ I did not know what my options were; I hadn’t researched or talked to anyone about them yet.

I did read ‘Give Birth Like A Feminist’ by Milli Hill when we were trying to get pregnant, which is when home births first became an idea in my mind.

Then I was surprised at my first midwife appointment that when she asked where I wanted to give birth that she said ‘at home?’ first. She said she had never registered someone for a home birth before. I thought maybe I should think about it more as she straight away referred me to the home birth team, but she did say I could change my mind.

I really wanted one, but I was worried about the neighbours in case the birth was during the night…

#TIsWorriedAboutTheRisksOfHomeBirth
#SoINeedToFindHimSomeInfo

I told T and he wasn’t very enthusiastic about the idea. Back then he was very much ‘you go to hospital and you do what the doctors say as they know best’. Luckily, we did an online hypnobirthing course together and he completely changed his mindset.

Now if he finds out that anyone is pregnant he really recommends the course to them; he says it made him feel empowered (so imagine how it made me feel). There is so much that we never knew about pregnancy before doing the course and it just explained things in a way that made things less daunting. T always says that ‘knowledge is power’ and with the knowledge you know how to advocate for yourself.

In the end I never got a home birth, but the course definitely empowered me to say no to a c-section (if I had needed one then fair enough, but I didn’t) and to ask for a vaginal delivery. T wasn’t there during the discussions due to Covid, so I did not have anyone to back me up. Luckily it worked out in the end, though I didn’t get a home birth or water birth. It’s just really good to know your options and think about your preferences (though my birth plan never accounted for a breech baby – so if you’re reading this while pregnant please think about it and what you would want to do).

I also learned that staying calm will help labour continue (adrenaline stops surges), so I focused on doing the breathing techniques that I had learned on the course and danced to music and tried to relax as much as possible whilst waiting on the maternity ward. If I had got stressed out then I probably would have had to have a C-section as they put me on a countdown (at 9am they said if I wasn’t in established labour by 6pm then I would not be allowed to have a vaginal delivery). I do love a challenge…

#OtherPeopleHaveExpressedTheirDisapproval

Funnily enough with Covid and all, those who weren’t so keen on me having a home birth in the beginning actually saw it as a good idea in the end. It seemed less risky going somewhere where I could possibly get Covid and everything. However precautions were in place there (I had a lovely swab up the nose) and it was so odd but nice to be around a lot of strangers for the first time in months.

You can read my birth story here and about my hospital stay here.


Thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying my blog (and/or the work I make) please consider supporting me by ‘buying me a coffee’ on Ko-fi – thanks!