Categories
Pregnancy Waiting II

Imitating B Putting Her Head Against A Mirror (26 Weeks / 26th October 2021)

Self-portrait where I am resting my head on a mirror and looking at myself.
Imitating B Putting Her Head Against A Mirror (26 Weeks / 26th October 2021)
 
#IfBSeesAMirrorForSomeReasonSheHasToButtHeadsWithItOrBangOnItOrAtLeastRestHerHeadOnIt
#IAmStillTryingToFigureOutIfSheKnowsItIsHerInTheMirrorOrNot
#IfISeeAMirrorAndIAmCarryingHerThenIUsuallyWaveAtHerSoIThinkSheMustKnowButWhoKnows
#FiveDaysAgoIWroteInMyHashtagRemindersThatMaybeItIsTimeToDropBDownToOneNapADayButIWasFeelingHesitantAsILikeOurRoutines
#WellWeWentAwayAtTheWeekendAndBDidNotHaveASecondNapOnTheFridaySaturdayAndSunday
#ThenYesterdayIPutHerDownForHerFirstNapAndSheWasNotFallingAsleepSoIGotHerBackUpAndThenGaveHerANapAtMiddayInstead
#LastNightSheWasAwakeFromMidnightToTwoishAndThenWokeUpAtFiveThirtySoIPutHerInOurBed
#IDoNotLikeToDoItMuchButSheDidActuallySleepForAnotherHourThoughMySleepWasVeryUnsettledAsIWasWorriedAboutSquishingHerOrSomething
#StayingInAHotelStressedMeOutAsEverytimeSheCriedIWasWorriedThatItWouldAnnoyPeople
#IBarelySleptOnTheFridayNightAndOnTheSaturdayMorningWePutHerInOurBedFromFiveishAndSheSleptALittleBitLonger
#IAmWorriedThatWeAreUndoingHerSleepTrainingButMaybeSheIsJustTeethingAndABitClingierThoughOnSundayNightSheSleptFine
#ItWasWeirdGoingToAPhotographyWeekendAndTiagoAndBJoiningMeAsMyTwoWorldsRarelyCollide
#ItWasFunnyTalkingToPhotoFriendsAndThenSeeingThemWalkingTowardsMeAsItJustSeemedSoOdd
#IAmGoingToHaveToAdjustToThisNewOneNapScheduleButOnceWeDoIThinkItWillBeForTheBetterAsWeCanGoOutForLonger
#ThoughIAmWorriedAboutTheDarkEveningsAsIWillNotBeAbleToTakeHerOutLikeIUsuallyDoSoWeMightFeelABitStuckAtHome
#IWillJustHaveToAdjustWhenITakeHerOutForWalksAndMaybeWeWillJustHaveToDoSomeWalksInTheDarkWithTiagoOnTheNightsThatFeelLonger
#LastWeekIHadAMidwivesAppointmentAndIHadToTakeBWithMeButItWasAllFineAndTheBabyIsFine
#HerDueDateIsAFewDaysBeforeMineIThinkSoIWillNotSeeHerAgainAsSheWillBeWorkingFromHome
#SheSaidAsItIsNotMyFirstBabyThe31WeekAppointmentIsOptionalButISaidIMightAsWellHaveIt
#ThatMorningIWasChangingBsNappyAndThenICouldNotFindHerNappyCreamThoughIKnewIHadGotItBeforeSettingUpAChangingStation
#SoIWentOffToLookForItAndBStoodUpAndPissedOnTheFloorAndThenManagedToSlipOverInItSoWhenITookHerVestOffTheBackOfHerHeadWasWet
#SorryToBIfThisIsTooMuchButIFoundItFunnyAndSoIHadToGiveHerABathWhichMightHaveBeenHerFirstMorningBath
#IAmSureThisMorningThatShePointedToMyBellyAndThenDidAnImpressionOfItWithHerHand
#MyMumAndNanBothSaidMyBumpLooksALotBiggerTodaySoMaybeBNoticedToo
#WithHerNewScheduleIAmGoingToHaveToSeeIfICanDoABitOfWorkWhileShePlaysNextToMe
#IDoNotKnowWhyIFeelBadForDoingThisAsIAmSureALotOfOtherPeopleDoItToo
#YesterdayWeWereInMineAndTsBedroomAndISawAStackOfStuffNextToTheMirror
#ILookedAtItAndThoughtMaybeIShouldMoveItButDecidedItShouldBeFineButThen5MinutesLaterBHadKnockedItOverSoIHadToMoveIt
#IAmGettingQuiteNervousAboutHavingTwoKidsInAFewMonthsOrSo
#SometimesIGetWorriedAboutLackOfMovementsButThenSheStartsMovingALotAndTiagoCouldFeelHerKickingMeLastNight

#IfBSeesAMirrorForSomeReasonSheHasToButtHeadsWithItOrBangOnItOrAtLeastRestHerHeadOnIt

I really wish she could talk so she could explain things to me. Maybe she likes that it feels cold?

#IAmStillTryingToFigureOutIfSheKnowsItIsHerInTheMirrorOrNot

I thought she had known for ages, then I read in a development thing that is a more recent ‘skill’ that they learn.

#IfISeeAMirrorAndIAmCarryingHerThenIUsuallyWaveAtHerSoIThinkSheMustKnowButWhoKnows

I think she knows. Again, I can’t ask her.

#FiveDaysAgoIWroteInMyHashtagRemindersThatMaybeItIsTimeToDropBDownToOneNapADayButIWasFeelingHesitantAsILikeOurRoutines

Things were just working. I did note that maybe it would stop her early mornings though.

I send reminders to myself of what I might want to talk about in my hashtags. I am starting to think that they are just super dull, but I am tired.

#WellWeWentAwayAtTheWeekendAndBDidNotHaveASecondNapOnTheFridaySaturdayAndSunday

Friday I just thought she would not have a long enough nap before going to an appointment, and then going away so we might as well just try to leave as early as possible.

Saturday – She had her morning nap at a good time, then Tiago took her back to the hotel for a nap and she didn’t take it. Maybe it was because she knew T was in the room, but he had been there in the morning too?

Sunday – We left early so B and I could sleep in the car. Then we were meeting friends I could not be bothered to even try to get B to have a nap on the go. To be fair she showed no signs of being tired and wouldn’t even sit in her pushchair…

#ThenYesterdayIPutHerDownForHerFirstNapAndSheWasNotFallingAsleepSoIGotHerBackUpAndThenGaveHerANapAtMiddayInstead

I just realised ‘what am I doing? I should just transition her to one nap now’ as I didn’t think she would end up having a very long second nap anyways.

#LastNightSheWasAwakeFromMidnightToTwoishAndThenWokeUpAtFiveThirtySoIPutHerInOurBed

I was hoping she would sleep late as she was awake for so long.

I went in with her water and paracetamol and she seemed fine, until every time I went to leave. Tiago went in after a bit and stayed with her until she calmed down.

This morning I was not ready to get her up, and she seemed tired so putting her in our bed seemed like the easier option.

#IDoNotLikeToDoItMuchButSheDidActuallySleepForAnotherHourThoughMySleepWasVeryUnsettledAsIWasWorriedAboutSquishingHerOrSomething

My maternity pillow acted as a barrier so she was stuck on my side of the bed. She did cuddle up to me which was cute. When she went to Tiago’s side after an hour-ish I realised what an uncomfortable position I had been in.

#StayingInAHotelStressedMeOutAsEverytimeSheCriedIWasWorriedThatItWouldAnnoyPeople

The hotel reviews were really mixed, but it was nice. The staff were super friendly and the bed wasn’t bad.

#IBarelySleptOnTheFridayNightAndOnTheSaturdayMorningWePutHerInOurBedFromFiveishAndSheSleptALittleBitLonger

Every time she woke up I sat upright and stressed. Again, it seemed like an easier option to just put her in our bed.

#IAmWorriedThatWeAreUndoingHerSleepTrainingButMaybeSheIsJustTeethingAndABitClingierThoughOnSundayNightSheSleptFine

She had a similar bad sleep episode a week ago (awake for 2 hours in the night etc.) I don’t want to keep giving her paracetamol but she has been putting her fingers in her mouth a lot and she does seem to have a bit of a cold again.

#ItWasWeirdGoingToAPhotographyWeekendAndTiagoAndBJoiningMeAsMyTwoWorldsRarelyCollide

Obviously I photograph them, so my worlds collide then but I mean colliding in real life – it was weird.

#ItWasFunnyTalkingToPhotoFriendsAndThenSeeingThemWalkingTowardsMeAsItJustSeemedSoOdd

It was nice to introduce B to people, though when she was getting tired one night she kept falling over, so Tiago had to keep taking her out of the room.

#IAmGoingToHaveToAdjustToThisNewOneNapScheduleButOnceWeDoIThinkItWillBeForTheBetterAsWeCanGoOutForLonger #ThoughIAmWorriedAboutTheDarkEveningsAsIWillNotBeAbleToTakeHerOutLikeIUsuallyDoSoWeMightFeelABitStuckAtHome

We will have to see. I am really not looking forward to the clocks changing.

#IWillJustHaveToAdjustWhenITakeHerOutForWalksAndMaybeWeWillJustHaveToDoSomeWalksInTheDarkWithTiagoOnTheNightsThatFeelLonger

The time of her one nap means we do have a lot of time in the morning, and hopefully we can go out after her nap before it gets dark.

I’m not sure how safe it will be walking around with B at night, but I know people with dogs who are already trying to figure out a route. Some nights we might feel like we have to get out for a bit. I definitely wouldn’t go out with B by myself though.

#LastWeekIHadAMidwivesAppointmentAndIHadToTakeBWithMeButItWasAllFineAndTheBabyIsFine

She was listening for a heartbeat and I could feel the baby kicking so I wasn’t too worried then.

#HerDueDateIsAFewDaysBeforeMineIThinkSoIWillNotSeeHerAgainAsSheWillBeWorkingFromHome

Shame as I like her.

#SheSaidAsItIsNotMyFirstBabyThe31WeekAppointmentIsOptionalButISaidIMightAsWellHaveIt

It’s not too far to go and I’d rather just go for an extra check and know things are okay.

#ThatMorningIWasChangingBsNappyAndThenICouldNotFindHerNappyCreamThoughIKnewIHadGotItBeforeSettingUpAChangingStation #SoIWentOffToLookForItAndBStoodUpAndPissedOnTheFloorAndThenManagedToSlipOverInItSoWhenITookHerVestOffTheBackOfHerHeadWasWet

Of course the cream had just rolled away and was under the step ladder next to us.

#SorryToBIfThisIsTooMuchButIFoundItFunnyAndSoIHadToGiveHerABathWhichMightHaveBeenHerFirstMorningBath

Sorry B. I’m sure most people have slipped over in their piss at least once in their life. If they say no then they’re probably lying. I don’t remember doing it, but I might well have done at your age.

I was hoping to get away with not giving her a bath, but nope. Then I was hoping to just wash the back of her head, but she had splashed so much that I just washed all her hair.

#IAmSureThisMorningThatShePointedToMyBellyAndThenDidAnImpressionOfItWithHerHand

Just like ‘you’re this big now’. We’ve seen some friends the last couple of days and their 4 year old son hadn’t even noticed I was pregnant until he gave me a hug last night and I pointed out he was hugging baby X too.

#MyMumAndNanBothSaidMyBumpLooksALotBiggerTodaySoMaybeBNoticedToo

It does seem to have suddenly grown, but I have eaten a lot this weekend and it might be due to where my placenta is or something. I don’t know.

#WithHerNewScheduleIAmGoingToHaveToSeeIfICanDoABitOfWorkWhileShePlaysNextToMe

Yesterday I did manage to prep a blog post. I’m getting a bit over doing this blog to be honest, but I might feel better once I am up to date with putting the images in, writing pregnancy comparisons and tags etc.

#IDoNotKnowWhyIFeelBadForDoingThisAsIAmSureALotOfOtherPeopleDoItToo

It’s good for kids to play by themselves for a bit for sure. Mum guilt is real.

#YesterdayWeWereInMineAndTsBedroomAndISawAStackOfStuffNextToTheMirror #ILookedAtItAndThoughtMaybeIShouldMoveItButDecidedItShouldBeFineButThen5MinutesLaterBHadKnockedItOverSoIHadToMoveIt

Me being lazy… In future I need to trust my health and safety officer instincts. (I’m not one, but I feel like becoming a parent I do notice risks better.)

#IAmGettingQuiteNervousAboutHavingTwoKidsInAFewMonthsOrSo

*Nervous laugh* I’m just trying to go to bed earlier. The last couple of nights I have gone to sleep quite early. This is why I also need to get stuff done while B is awake/during her naps, though yesterday I had to nap during her nap and I imagine it will be the same today.

#SometimesIGetWorriedAboutLackOfMovementsButThenSheStartsMovingALotAndTiagoCouldFeelHerKickingMeLastNight

I feel like I have been writing ‘it’ instead of ‘her’ as sometimes I forget we know, though I will not 100% believe it until she is born.

I just hadn’t had much time to feel her movements as it was such a busy weekend, so it’s always a relief when I feel her moving about.

26 weeks with B comparison:

Self-portrait in my bra and pants where my bump is showing and I am looking up. My hands are resting on the top of my legs.
We Heard The Baby’s Heartbeat For The First Time Today (26 weeks)
 
#IFeelLikeIAmInSomeWeirdBubbleWithThisWholeCoronaVirus
#IAmUsuallyHomeQuiteABitAnyways
#AndInNoRushToGoOut
#ButNowIAmWorkingFromHomeForTheForeseeableFuture
#AndThereIsSomethingAboutNotHavingAnythingToGoOutTo
#WeJustTryToGoForAWalkInTheEveningToBuySomeFruitAndVeg
#TheGoodThingAboutOptingForAHomeBirthIsTheMidwifeVisitsOurFlat
#SheCameYesterdayAndAllWasGood
#SheSaidMyBloodPressureWasLowButInAGoodWay
#SheSaidWhyLowPressureWasGoodButICanNotRememberWhatSheSaid
#SheAskedMeIfIEverFeltDizzy
#ISaidNo
#ButLastNightAndThisMorningMaybeIGotUpTooQuickAndSawColourfulLightsInMyEyes
#SoINeedToBeCareful
#SheNeededToMeasureMyUterus
#ItTookHerAWhileAsSheSaidMyCoreIsSoStrong
#MustBeBecauseOfTheExerciseThatIAmDoingInTheMorningAndNight
#SheSaidThatMyAbdominalMusclesAreStartingToSeparateNowToMakeRoomForTheBabyWhichIsNormal
#IAmGuessingThatIfIKeepOnExercisingAsIHaveThenItWillAllBeFine
#ISaidIAmMoreFlexibleThanIWasBeforeIWasPregnant
#WhichIThoughtWasDownToTheExerciseAndItProbablyIsABit
#ButSheSaidThatHormonesDuringPregnancyWillMakeYouMoreFlexible
#SheAlsoCheckedTheBabysHeartbeat
#TheNightBeforeIWasConcernedAsICouldNotFeelItInTheEvening
#ThoughWhenICompletelyRelaxedIEventuallyDid
#SheSaidThatThePlacentaMightBeAbsorbingTheKicks
#AsItTookAWhileToFindTheBabyAsSheCouldMostlyHearPlacenta
#WhenSheFoundItThoughItWasAGoodQuickHeartbeatLikeItShouldBe
#TiagoWalkedIntoTheRoomAndHeardItTooWhichWasNice
#ThisMorningItWasKickingStrongAndTiagoFeltItALot

I heard the baby X’s heartbeat for the first time weeks ago, so not sure why it took so long with B.

It is weird thinking that at this point with B I was just going for a walk once a day and only seeing Tiago.

I feel like I look stronger in this above picture than I feel right now (at the same phase). I have made an effort to not sit up straight from lying down so hopefully my muscles will not separate so much this time. My midwife did think that I’d have to do physio after having B, but I didn’t have to luckily.

I think my placenta is in a different position this time, which may be why I can feel it kicking more than I did with B. It may also be why my bump looks different, but that might be down to having had a baby before.

As I’m not planning for a homebirth this time I have to go out to appointments, but I seem to have them at good times and it’s good to get out of the house.

Self-portrait with some broken blood vessels visible on my cheeks. I am wearing a purple top that matches the blotches on my cheeks a bit. I am resting my left hand on my chin.
Broken Blood Vessels (26 weeks)
 
#IHaveBeenNoticingBitsOfRedOnMyCheeksForAFewWeeks
#IJustThoughtItWasToDoWithTheColdOutside
#AsUsuallyMySkinGoesABitRubbishInTheWinter
#OrIThoughtItWasASlightAllergicReaction
#YesterdayMorningIHadABitOfRedOnMyFace
#IWentToPhotographItButTiagoWasDoingExerciseInTheBitOfTheLivingRoomWhereIShoot
#AndByTheTimeHeFinishedItHadFaded
#IWalkedForAbout2HoursYesterday
#AndTiagoCommentedThatMyFaceWasQuiteRedLastNight
#ItIsThatTimeOfYearWhereYourBodyFeelsWeirdWhenTheSunGoesDown
#AsItWasQuiteWarmDuringTheDay
#AndThenSuddenlyItIsVeryCold
#SoIThoughtItMightBeToDoWithThat
#ReadingLastNightThoughApparentlyItIsACommonThing
#ToDoWithIncreasedBloodFlowAndBloodVessels
#SometimesTheBloodVesselsBreak
#WhichExplainsWhySometimesThePatchesTakeAFewDaysToDisappear
#TheSkinOnMyChinIsAlsoABitWeird
#WhichIsProbablyToDoWithHormones
#ApparentlyTheBabyIsTheSizeOfAnAcornSquashNow
#AndAbout36cmLong
#IAmAlsoAboutTwoThirdsOfTheWayThrough
#TimeIsFlying
#FeelLikeIShouldStartBuyingMoreThingsOffTheBabyListSoon
#IKeepLookingAtThingsButDoNotWantToCommitToBuyingRightNow
#IAmHopingThatWeWillGetToGoSomewhereToTryOutThePushchairWeWant
#ButWeMightJustHaveToRiskItAndBuyItWithoutTrying
#WillSeeHowThingsAreWhenIAmAround30Weeks
#WeAreLuckyAsWeBothHaveJobsThatSeemRelativelySecure
#WhoKnowsHowLongThingsAreGoingToGoOnFor
 

I have not noticed any broken blood vessels this time, so far.

This time we do not really need to buy anything, though I remembered earlier that soon we will need to buy newborn nappies and things. Fun times ahead…


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Categories
Pregnancy Waiting II

Portrait Of A Mother Of A Thirteen Month Old (11 Weeks? / 14th July 2021)

Me lying in bed hugging my pregnancy pillow, with a face mask sat on my forehead and with a hand to my mouth.
Portrait Of A Mother Of A Thirteen Month Old (11 Weeks? / 14th July 2021)

#ItSeemsQuiteFittingToTakeAPhotoOfMeLyingInBed
#IFeelLikeIDoSoAtAnyChanceIHaveNow
#IAmJustSoTiredAndItIsFunnyReadingBackOldEntriesWhenIDidNotKnowIWasPregnantYetAndJustSayingHowTiredIWas
#ISawAPregnantFriendTheOtherDayWhoAlsoHasOneKidAndSheWasSayingTheFirstTrimesterWasTheWorst
#IAmHopingMyEnergyWillReturnSoon
#IHaveFeltSoInspiredToMakeOtherWorkButJustHaveNoEnergyForIt
#IHaveBeenTryingToOnlySleepOnMyLeftSideButIAmFindingMyRightSideAndBackMoreComfortableAtTheMoment
#TalkingOfSleepingWeWentToLiverpoolForTheWeekendAndOnTheFirstDayBMissedHerSecondNap
#SheHadWokenUpFortyMinutesEarlyFromHerFirstOneWhichMeantMeTryingToEntertainHerInTheCarWhichWasUsJustReadingThroughAllOfHerBooks
#WePlannedToLetHerSleepInHerPushchairForHerSecondNapButWeWereOutForFortyMinutesWithNoSuchLuck
#ThenWeTriedToPutHerDownInACotButAfterFifteenMinutesWeGaveUpSoSheWasUpForNineHours
#WeGotIntoBedAtAroundEightAndWentToSleepAtNineThirty
#TheNextDayBHadASuperShortNapAfterWakingUpAtHerUsualTimeOfPreSix
#ButOnTheWayHomeSheSleptForTwoHoursAndICouldNotWakeHerUp
#IWasWorriedThatSheWasGoingToDropHerSecondNapButNotYetPhew
#YesterdaySomeoneWasAskingMeHowIKnewIWasReadyForASecondKidAndSheTalkedAboutHerFriendsGettingBroody
#IWasNotBroodyAtAllButIJustWantedToTryAndHaveASecondOneBeforeWeReallyKnewWhatWeWereInFor
#BIsBecomingDifficultToChangeAndOftenWillCryLoudlyForWhatSeemsLikeNoReasonAtAll
#TheOtherDayWeWereTryingToGiveHerYoghurtAndSheWasScreamingSoIJustCopiedHer
#StraightAwaySheChangedHerTuneAndStartedToLaughAndAteAllOfHerYoghurt
#ItMaybeIsNotTheBestSolutionEveryTimeButItWasMuchBetterThanGettingStressedOutAndAnnoyed
#AfterwardsWeHadAFunGameOfHerTryingToStealMyEmptyBowlOfCrispsWhenMyBackWasTurned
#SheIsBecomingQuiteTheFoodThiefTheseDaysWithHerTryingToTakeWhateverWeHave
#IHaveNotBeenSickInACoupleOfDaysButIHaveGaggedAFewTimes
#IThinkTheMoreTiredIAmTheWorseIFeelAsLastNightBeforeBedIFeltSoSickAndIWasAsleepBeforeTen
#IWasAwakeFromFourToFiveButThenCouldNotGetUpOnceBHad
#TheGovernmentHasChangedTheirStanceABitWithMasksAfter19thJulyButItSeemsLikeSomePeopleStoppedWearingThemAWhileAgo
#BsWalkingIsDefinitelyImprovingDayByDayNowAndSheCanTakeQuiteAFewStepsNow
#AtHerBabyClassSomeoneWasSayingSheFeelsLikeBIsTheCelebrityOfTheClassAsEveryoneKnowsHerName
#SheReallyLikesToTryToStealEveryonesStuffButEveryoneIsNiceAboutIt

#ItSeemsQuiteFittingToTakeAPhotoOfMeLyingInBed

Well, I am yet to take it yet but it is what I have in mind. Lying in bed with my eye mask on (the one I got as an emergency in case I had to go into hospital to give birth to B – which I did).

#IFeelLikeIDoSoAtAnyChanceIHaveNow

Tiago had gone out with B to the supermarket the other night (for the first time in ages). I was about to go to sleep when I could hear that my Uncles were visiting. ‘Why does it have to be today?’ But it was nice to see them.

(19th September: I was disappointed to miss them the other day as B and I were both napping, and they only made a short visit.)

#IAmJustSoTiredAndItIsFunnyReadingBackOldEntriesWhenIDidNotKnowIWasPregnantYetAndJustSayingHowTiredIWas

I was confused as to why I was so tired. I’m taking double the amount of iron now, and my vitamins, but I guess it is just a big part of the first trimester. Great.

#ISawAPregnantFriendTheOtherDayWhoAlsoHasOneKidAndSheWasSayingTheFirstTrimesterWasTheWorst

She also had sickness and just felt so tired. I actually think I might have mentioned this in my last post, but it was on my mind.

#IAmHopingMyEnergyWillReturnSoon

I hope so. I am getting into bed as soon as I finish writing this.

#IHaveFeltSoInspiredToMakeOtherWorkButJustHaveNoEnergyForIt

By the time my energy returns the inspiration may have gone. What can I do?

#IHaveBeenTryingToOnlySleepOnMyLeftSideButIAmFindingMyRightSideAndBackMoreComfortableAtTheMoment

It is early days, so I do not need to really worry about how I am sleeping yet but I try to sleep on my left anyways. Sometimes I want to sleep on my front, but I am avoiding it.

#TalkingOfSleepingWeWentToLiverpoolForTheWeekendAndOnTheFirstDayBMissedHerSecondNap

It was a friend’s first birthday, so she obviously did not want to miss a minute of it.

#SheHadWokenUpFortyMinutesEarlyFromHerFirstOneWhichMeantMeTryingToEntertainHerInTheCarWhichWasUsJustReadingThroughAllOfHerBooks

I say us. I mean it was me reading to her. I was hoping to have a nap, so I was tired, and Tiago was also tired from driving. Tired family.

#WePlannedToLetHerSleepInHerPushchairForHerSecondNapButWeWereOutForFortyMinutesWithNoSuchLuck

Nothing like pushing B round a park screaming. (Her, not me.)

#ThenWeTriedToPutHerDownInACotButAfterFifteenMinutesWeGaveUpSoSheWasUpForNineHours

She did not seem that tired though.

#WeGotIntoBedAtAroundEightAndWentToSleepAtNineThirty

B had gone to bed at 7:50. Brushed teeth and into bedddd.

#TheNextDayBHadASuperShortNapAfterWakingUpAtHerUsualTimeOfPreSix

She will usually have 2 hours if she’s up that early, but it was more like 40 minutes.

#ButOnTheWayHomeSheSleptForTwoHoursAndICouldNotWakeHerUp

I did not want her to sleep for that long as I was worried she would have a super late bedtime. She went to bed at 7:45pm, as the England v Italy game was at 8pm and it was fine. She slept until her usual time.

#IWasWorriedThatSheWasGoingToDropHerSecondNapButNotYetPhew

I am not ready yet.

#YesterdaySomeoneWasAskingMeHowIKnewIWasReadyForASecondKidAndSheTalkedAboutHerFriendsGettingBroody #IWasNotBroodyAtAllButIJustWantedToTryAndHaveASecondOneBeforeWeReallyKnewWhatWeWereInFor

It’s really down to wanting two kids and feeling like I’m not up to much at the moment besides looking after B, so it seems like a good time to try to have another one. My body felt strong enough. I have been so anxious this week about the pregnancy, but I am trying to stay calm. Two weeks until my first scan…

#BIsBecomingDifficultToChangeAndOftenWillCryLoudlyForWhatSeemsLikeNoReasonAtAll

I am still struggling to change her nappies, and then add in her excessive wriggling and escaping. It’s great.

#TheOtherDayWeWereTryingToGiveHerYoghurtAndSheWasScreamingSoIJustCopiedHer

I remember my Mum doing it with me when I was crying crocodile tears.

#StraightAwaySheChangedHerTuneAndStartedToLaughAndAteAllOfHerYoghurt

Nothing like laughter to get you out of a bad mood. I think she is teething a lot at the moment, so that might be why.

#ItMaybeIsNotTheBestSolutionEveryTimeButItWasMuchBetterThanGettingStressedOutAndAnnoyed

Obviously if she was really upset it would not be a nice thing to do, but when it seems like she just doesn’t want to do something it is a nice trick. I’d rather make her laugh than get really pissed off.

#AfterwardsWeHadAFunGameOfHerTryingToStealMyEmptyBowlOfCrispsWhenMyBackWasTurned

I had some crisps in the bowl. She was trying to eat them. I then put the bowl on the table and she kept going to it and digging her hands in. Later on I had my back to her and she would touch the bowl while my back was turned, then I’d turn round to look at her and she would laugh. I do love when she laughs.

#SheIsBecomingQuiteTheFoodThiefTheseDaysWithHerTryingToTakeWhateverWeHave

She was trying to eat my Nan’s breakfast again today. I had some strawberries the other night and my plate was empty, but she would just scratch the plate anyways and then lick her fingers. She is funny.

#IHaveNotBeenSickInACoupleOfDaysButIHaveGaggedAFewTimes

Nothing like going to the bathroom and expecting to be sick, but just dry heaving instead. Or sometimes it is just when I am in the kitchen. The body is weird.

#IThinkTheMoreTiredIAmTheWorseIFeelAsLastNightBeforeBedIFeltSoSickAndIWasAsleepBeforeTen

I hadn’t napped during her second nap, so I felt tired. When I get tired I faff, but I should just relax instead. I was going to hang up the washing, but I stood up and thought I was going to be sick. I had to lie down in bed as I had already brushed my teeth and did not fancy being sick.

#IWasAwakeFromFourToFiveButThenCouldNotGetUpOnceBHad

I read some of my book to try to feel sleepy again. T and B were up from 5:40. I slept for another hour. Thanks Tiago.

#TheGovernmentHasChangedTheirStanceABitWithMasksAfter19thJulyButItSeemsLikeSomePeopleStoppedWearingThemAWhileAgo

Though I’ve just seen that masks will still be mandatory on London transport. That’s good.

#BsWalkingIsDefinitelyImprovingDayByDayNowAndSheCanTakeQuiteAFewStepsNow

She can do more than a few really. Ten plus quite confidently, maybe more? I need to get her some shoes. I’ve ordered a foot measurer, so we can just measure them when we want to and order online.

#AtHerBabyClassSomeoneWasSayingSheFeelsLikeBIsTheCelebrityOfTheClassAsEveryoneKnowsHerName

I feel bad as I do not know many of the names (unless I think back to the register), but the teachers are always commenting on what B is doing. She was scared of some animal puppets again yesterday 🙁

#SheReallyLikesToTryToStealEveryonesStuffButEveryoneIsNiceAboutIt

Shoes, phones, toys, pushchairs, whatever. If it is there B will have it.

I maybe have time for an hour nap if my brain switches off quick enough…

11 weeks pregnant with B comparison:

A close-up of my face showing a couple of spots in my hairline.
I Feel Like My Body Has A Big Job To Perform Now (11 weeks)

#FeelingConcernedAsIHaveNotFeltSickThisEveningButIFeltSickDuringTheDay 
#MaybeIHaveJustEatenEnoughDinner 
#IWillProbablyFeelSickInAnHour 
#IHeardThatSourSweetsAreGoodForSickness 
#IFoundSomeGoodVeggieSweets 
#DoNotThinkTheyReallyHelpedWithTheSicknessButTheyTasteGood 
#Anyways 
#ThisTextIsSupposedToBeAboutSpots 
#WhenIHadTheCoilISuddenlyStartedToGetLotsOfSpotsOnMyScalp 
#IFiguredItWasDueToTooMuchCopperInMyDietAndInMyBody 
#SoMaybeIHaveBeenEatingALotOfThingsThatHaveCopperInThem 
#ButIDoubtIt 
#IGuessTheSpotsAreMoreToDoWithHormones 
#MyFaceFeelsSpottierTooButIThinkThatHasALotToDoWithTheWeather 
#AsMySkinGetsWorseThanNormalInTheWinter 
#ButIHaveBigSpotsOnMyHairline 
#INoticedThemTheOtherDayButTheySeemBiggerNow 
#FunTimes 
#MaybeINeedToWashMyHairMoreAndIHaveBeenWearingAHat 
#SoMaybeThatPlaysAPartInIt 
#CanNotBelieveIAm11WeeksNow 
#StillNervous 
#TiagoCanNotLieToSaveHisLifeSoHeToldAFewPeopleYesterday 
#SoTheNumberOfPeopleWhoKnowHasNowGrown 
#IJustFeelMorePressureNow 
#NoOneIsPuttingPressureOnMe 
#ButIFeelLikeMyBodyHasABigJobToPerformNow 
#AndIAmNervousThatThereIsPlentyOfTimeForThingsToGoWrong 
#NotFeelingSickNowIsABitWorrying 
#ButIThinkThatIWillGoBrushMyTeethNowAndThatWillProbablyMakeMeFeelSick 

(19th September: Using an image with a border as my laptop stopped charging the other day, and T’s laptop seems incapable of opening editing software – I also have to paste the letter s whenever I want to use it. I am hoping to have my own again in a few days.)

I have felt just as anxious this time as I did with B. I haven’t eaten any sour sweets (I actually forgot about this), but I was eyeing up someone’s sweets on the train the other day.

My face was spotty for a bit, which was probably hormones.

I have been washing my hair even less probably, but it doesn’t look too bad.

I am now 20 weeks and I dry heave again when I brush my teeth in the evenings. This has gone on for longer than when I was pregnant with B…

I feel like I do have a big job ahead of me again, but I am a bit more relaxed about it in ways as I have been through it all once before, and I am feeling a bit more like what will happen will happen – though obviously I am hoping for the best outcomes. Fingers crossed.


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Categories
Pregnancy Waiting II

Here We Go Again Again (9 Weeks? / 31st May 2021)

Self-portrait against a plain wall and from the waist up. I'm wearing a dark top with a slight neck that is flopping over. I'm looking directly to the camera and have my hair tied up. My expression is neutral.
Here We Go Again Again (9 Weeks? / 31st May 2021)

#WellIDidAPregnancyTestAnHourOrSoAgoAndItWasPositive #IWasGoingToBeMoreSurprisedIfIWasNotAsItWasJustToCheckWhatIThought #IHaveBeenFeelingSickishForAFewWeeksAndHaveHadOtherSymptoms #SpotsLotsOfSnotReallyReallyTiredSomeDizzinessFeelingMoreEmotional #IWillLookAtBAndStartCryingAsIAmSoHappyToHaveHer #ABigSignIsThatMyPeriodIsUnusuallyLate #IHaveBeenFourDaysLateBeforeButWeArePastThatNowAndYeahItSeemedTimeToDoATest #IWouldHaveDoneItSoonerButWeHaveBeenAwayAndIHaveHadLotsOfWorkToDo #SoIWantedToWaitUntilIHadTimeToDoAShootAndWriteAboutItWhichIsABitSad #WeDidAFamilyShootThenIDidTheTestAndThenITookThePictures #IAmExcitedButNervous #IWantedToWaitAndSeeIfMyPeriodArrivedBeforeDoingATestAsIDidNotWantToBeDisappointedLikeLastTime #IDidHaveSomeSpottingThreeDaysBeforeItWasDueButThatWasIt #SoMaybeThatWasImplantationBleedingButIDoNotThinkIAmOnlyFiveWeeksPregnant #IWasWorriedThatIWasImaginingMorningSicknessSoThatIsAnotherReasonThatIWantedToDelayTakingATest #INeedToBookMyCovidVaccinationsSoIWantToCheckWithMyDoctorAboutItAllFirst #IHopeThisPregnancyGoesWell #IAmWorriedThatSomethingWillGoWrongButItIsWhatItIsAndWeWillHaveToSee #IfTheBabyHappensThenTheyWillBeBornInTheOppositeSeasonToB #WhichMeansThatMyGrandPlanOfPassingHerStuffAlongMightNotCompletelyWork #HerNiceStuffForTheSummerNowWillNotBeGoodForABabyBornInTheWinterWhoWillBeTooSmallForThemButOhWell #AtLeastIWillNotBeHeavilyPregnantInSummer #IDoNotWantToTellPeopleForNow #IWantToKeepItQuietAndThenMaybeJustTalkAboutItIfAndWhenIGetToTwelveWeeks #WhichMightBeSoonOrItMightNot #TheTwelveWeeksThingIsNotGreatAsItFeelsLikeItJustProtectsOtherPeopleFromTheAwkwardnessOfItAllMoreThanMe #AndIWillTalkAboutItWhetherOrNotItProgressesButIGuessSomePeopleDoNotLikeToShareSoMuch #IWonderHowItWillBeHavingTwoKids #IWorryThatItCouldBeTwinsButIReallyDoubtIt #IfBHadHadATwinThatWouldHaveBeenGreatButIDoNotWantTwinsNowThoughIfTwinsHappenThenWeWillGetOnWithItObviously

#WellIDidAPregnancyTestAnHourOrSoAgoAndItWasPositive #IWasGoingToBeMoreSurprisedIfIWasNotAsItWasJustToCheckWhatIThought

Yeah I wasn’t surprised, but it was still a bit weird seeing it confirmed.

I did a first trimester YouTube exercise video this morning (before I knew for sure) so that says a lot. I also did one two days ago…

#IHaveBeenFeelingSickishForAFewWeeksAndHaveHadOtherSymptoms #SpotsLotsOfSnotReallyReallyTiredSomeDizzinessFeelingMoreEmotional

Another weird thing is last time and this time, I felt a need to lie on my front in bed? I feel like I don’t really lie on my front. Maybe it’s an evolutionary thing to protect your stomach? Maybe it’s just all in my head?

#IWillLookAtBAndStartCryingAsIAmSoHappyToHaveHer

I have always loved her, but my love for her has been stronger lately.

Since having B I also find it harder to read sad news stories about kids, but in the last week I have got more emotional – especially about the 5 year old who was the sole survivor of a cable car crash. Even now my eyes are welling up thinking about it.

#ABigSignIsThatMyPeriodIsUnusuallyLate #IHaveBeenFourDaysLateBeforeButWeArePastThatNowAndYeahItSeemedTimeToDoATest

When I was pregnant with B I had a period, and when I was pregnant earlier this year I had had my period, so it now being this late seemed like a clear sign.

#IWouldHaveDoneItSoonerButWeHaveBeenAwayAndIHaveHadLotsOfWorkToDo

Our first night away in 7 months! And yeah so much stuff to do.

#SoIWantedToWaitUntilIHadTimeToDoAShootAndWriteAboutItWhichIsABitSad

I did ask Tiago if we should do it before our trip, but he said ‘nah wait’, which I was relieved about. I knew I was pregnant, but if we had had it confirmed before the trip it would have felt like we were hiding a big secret, and Tiago is not great with secrets (bless him).

#WeDidAFamilyShootThenIDidTheTestAndThenITookThePictures

Everything was set up to take the picture in the same way that I have been doing since we started to try to get pregnant again.

(5th August: The title isn’t a mistake. It references a similar picture I took called ‘Here We Go Again’ in January after I got a positive pregnancy test. I look more shocked in that photo though.)

Here it is:

Self-portrait against a plain wall and from the waist up. I'm wearing a dark top with a slight neck that is flopping over. I'm looking directly to the camera and my hair is down. I have a slightly shocked expression and I am breathing out.
Here We Go Again (6 Weeks / 16th January 2021)
 
#MyHeartIsBeatingSoFast
#IWasPlanningHashtagsInMyHeadAboutDefinitelyNotBeingPregnant
#IHadBeenThinkingAboutTakingATestForTheLastFewDays
#MyPeriodWasSuperHeavyFor2DaysButThenWasReallyLightForAFewDays
#ButIThoughtLastTimeItCompletelyStopped
#IHaveWokenUpFeelingABitSickAFewMornings
#OneWasWhenIWasThinkingAboutPregnancySoIThoughtItWasMyMindPlayingTricksOnMe
#IHaveBeenFeelingQuiteTiredLatelyButIThoughtItWasDownToHavingA7MonthOld
#AndIHaveBeenFeelingQuiteGoodMentallyWhichIThoughtWasDownToMakingAnEffortToBeMorePositive
#IWasThinkingIShouldTakeATestAFewDaysAgoButICouldNotBeBotheredToLookForTheTestAndThoughtIWasBeingSilly
#YesterdayIWentAsFarAsToFindItButThoughtIWouldBeWastingATest
#ThisMorningITookItAsIWasFedUpOfThinkingWellAmIOrAmINotAndIDidNotWantToWaitTwoWeeksToSeeIfMyNextPeriodCame
#IAmInShock
#InThePastIHaveFoundItWeirdThatSomeWomenDoSoManyTestsButIThinkIWillGetTiagoToGetACoupleMore
#TiagoIsHappyAndICouldHearHimSingingToBInPortugueseThatSheMightHaveABrother
#IFeelCautiousAboutItThoughAndDoNotWantToTellPeopleUntilLaterOnThisTime
#IAmWorriedAboutBeingJudgedAboutBeingPregnantAgainSoSoon
#ButForMeItMakesSenseToMeWhileTheWorldIsInLimboAndWeCanNotDoMuch
#TiagoJustCameInToSayIfTheBabyIsDueInAugustThenHowIsHeSupposedToGoToTwoWeddingsOfHisBestFriends
#OneWasPostponedFromThisSummerAndWasTheOneWeWereTryingToAvoidBeingPregnantAroundLastTime
#TheWayThingsAreGoingItMightGetPostponedAgainWhoKnows
#IAmAlreadyWorriedThatSomethingWillGoWrongAsItIsSoEarly
#IHaveBeenContinuingToTakeMyPregnancyAndBreastfeedingVitaminsEvenThoughAsIWasNotPregnantOrBreastfeedingSoAtLeastIDoNotHaveToWorryAboutThat
#IMissedACallFromMyDoctorYesterdayWhoWantsToDoAReviewWithMeOnMondaySoIGuessIWillSayThenThatIAmPregnant
#EvenThoughIWasPregnantNotThatLongAgoIFeelLikeIHaveAlreadyForgottenAboutHowAllTheAppointmentsWork
#PlusNowWeHaveMovedSomewhereElseSoItWillBeSlightlyDifferentAnyways
#IHaveReadThatThereIsNoEvidenceToSayThatTheCovidVaccineIsUnsafeIfYouArePregnant
#ButTheNHSWantMoreEvidenceBeforePregnantPeopleAreRoutinelyOfferedTheVaccine
#IProbablyWouldNotBeCalledToHaveItForALongTimeAnywaysAsIAmInMy30sWithNoHealthIssues
#IAmInShockButINeedToStartRestingMoreForSure

#IAmExcitedButNervous

It is nice to have something to countdown to again. I wanted to learn to drive, but there isn’t much availability. I need to start messaging people as otherwise I will not have much time at all.

#IWantedToWaitAndSeeIfMyPeriodArrivedBeforeDoingATestAsIDidNotWantToBeDisappointedLikeLastTime

This post explains it.

#IDidHaveSomeSpottingThreeDaysBeforeItWasDueButThatWasIt

It was really nothing.

#SoMaybeThatWasImplantationBleedingButIDoNotThinkIAmOnlyFiveWeeksPregnant

I do not think I would be having all these symptoms if I was only 5 weeks, but you never know.

(5th August: I was only 5 weeks pregnant at this point (I’ve recently had a dating scan), but I wanted to believe I was more. Also based on my periods have been before when I’ve been pregnant it seemed like it might add up. I’ve decided to keep the wrong gestation and question marks in the titles as it reflects how I was feeling/what I believed.)

#IWasWorriedThatIWasImaginingMorningSicknessSoThatIsAnotherReasonThatIWantedToDelayTakingATest

I have felt quite sick at times, and not so much at others. I worry that sometimes I think ‘oh shouldn’t I be feeling more sick?’ and then I feel more sick. I do not want to be sick this time though.

#INeedToBookMyCovidVaccinationsSoIWantToCheckWithMyDoctorAboutItAllFirst

Fun times. I think I will be avoiding germ pits like softplay for now while I wait for it.

#IHopeThisPregnancyGoesWell

Fingers crossed.

#IAmWorriedThatSomethingWillGoWrongButItIsWhatItIsAndWeWillHaveToSee

I do not want to spend the whole time feeling as anxious and nervous as I did last time, but I also feel like I need to be realistic about it all, especially as it is still the first trimester.

#IfTheBabyHappensThenTheyWillBeBornInTheOppositeSeasonToB #WhichMeansThatMyGrandPlanOfPassingHerStuffAlongMightNotCompletelyWork #HerNiceStuffForTheSummerNowWillNotBeGoodForABabyBornInTheWinterWhoWillBeTooSmallForThemButOhWell

Me justifying buying nice stuff as it can be passed along = fail. Some stuff will be fine though. The baby could be quite big though – who knows?

#AtLeastIWillNotBeHeavilyPregnantInSummer

Phew.

#IDoNotWantToTellPeopleForNow #IWantToKeepItQuietAndThenMaybeJustTalkAboutItIfAndWhenIGetToTwelveWeeks #WhichMightBeSoonOrItMightNot

I need to call my doctor and see what they think. A lot of the appointments are down to how pregnant you are.

#TheTwelveWeeksThingIsNotGreatAsItFeelsLikeItJustProtectsOtherPeopleFromTheAwkwardnessOfItAllMoreThanMe #AndIWillTalkAboutItWhetherOrNotItProgressesButIGuessSomePeopleDoNotLikeToShareSoMuch

I am debating what to do – this could be a new project as before when I thought I was pregnant I was doing a pregnancy project and continuing with Oh Me, Oh Mãe. Two projects is too much of a faff, especially if one is just trying to hide the fact I am pregnant for a bit longer so this is probably a new project about having a kid and being pregnant. I guess my pregnancy project, OMOM and this are all chapters of a bigger project anyways?

(5th August: I’ve just been working on this project, which shows that I am a little more sure than I was earlier this year when I was working on two. (Well, I have been making a Puke Portraits II.) It is a cross between Waiting and OMOM. I’m calling it Waiting… II for now, but it needs it’s own title. I’ll start thinking…

#IWonderHowItWillBeHavingTwoKids

In the car yesterday I was imagining how it would be with two in the car.

#IWorryThatItCouldBeTwinsButIReallyDoubtIt #IfBHadHadATwinThatWouldHaveBeenGreatButIDoNotWantTwinsNowThoughIfTwinsHappenThenWeWillGetOnWithItObviously

We shall have to wait and see. Time to look after B now.

I am debating including the images/hashtags from when I was a similar gestation with B. However, I did actually manage to write a few blog posts about Waiting, so I’ll just include links to them for now.

Turns out I never did pictures for 5 weeks last time, but the first photo I took was the day after I found out at 4+ weeks so that is similar.

Head to knee self-portrait. I am stood facing the left hand side of the frame. My hair is falling down my right side and I am wearing a black cardigan, black leggings and a dress that is blue with darker blue dots. My hands are in the pockets of the dress and I am pulling it out, as if to imagine what it will be like to have a pregnancy bump.
The Day After I Found Out (4+ weeks)
 
#SoIAmGoingThroughMyPicturesACoupleOfMonthsAfterTryingToEditTheProjectSoFar
#AndApparentlyIHaveBeenWritingHashtagsForEveryShootOnTheDayApartFromThisOne
#WritingThemOnTheDayIsMuchBetterButOhWell
#ILikeThatIAmWearingThisDress
#NotSureIfItWasAnAccidentOrOnPurpose
#ButItIsTheSameDressAsTheOneIAmWearingInMyPictureCalled
#ItSeemsLikeEveryoneIsPregnantExceptMe
#InMySeriesCalledUlteriorMonologue
#WhichIsAboutWantingToTalkAboutWantingToBePregnantButFeelingTooAwkwardTo
#TheDayBeforeWeHadGoneFoodShopping
#IHadBoughtCheeseThatYouAreNotSupposedToEatIfYouArePregnant
#AndTwoPregnancyTests
#IBoughtTheTestsAsIMyPeriodWasLateAndIWasHopeful
#ButBoughtTheCheeseAsIWasNotThatHopeful
#WellActuallyIWasConfusedAsItHadStartedAndStopped
#IOnlyHadATinyBitOfTheCheeseAsIWasLikeWellWhatIf
#AndThenTriedToDoATest
#ButForgotIWasGoingToDoOne
#SoIWasJustInTheBathroomForAgesDrinkingLotsOfWaterAndWaiting
#FunTimes
#ThenICameOutOfTheBathroomInShockIThink
#AndCalledTiagoIntoTheBathroomAsWeWereAtMyNans
#HeSaidHeDidNotEvenKnowWhatWasTheResultByLookingAtTheTest
#WritingThisNowIHaveABitOfABump
#OnTheDayITookAPictureOfMyBellyAndToBeFairIThoughtILookedABitPregnant
#ButMyBellyUsuallyLookedLikeThat
#AndNowIKnowMyFoodBabiesLookABitDifferentToABabyBump
#ButFoodBabiesWithABabyBumpJustLookLikeABigBabyBump
#AnywaysHereIWasAbout4AndABitWeeksPregnantOrSoTheFolderTellsMe
#IFindItOddTheWayTheyCalculateItAsPartOfThatIWasNotPregnant

I thought I might as well just add the image and hashtags in. The picture is definitely more interesting than this new one, but oh well.


Thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying my blog (and/or the work I make) please consider supporting me by ‘buying me a coffee’ on Ko-fi – thanks!