Categories
Pregnancy Waiting II

Imitating B Climbing On The Step Ladder (10 Weeks? / 6th July 2021)

Self-portrait on a stepladder. I am looking back at the camera over my right shoulder, my left elbow is in the air and my feet are tucked together.
Imitating B Climbing On The Step Ladder (10 Weeks? / 6th July 2021)
 
#BLovesToClimbOnAndOffThisStepLadderButLuckilySheOnlyGoesToTheFirstStep
#SheLikesToPutHerKneesOnItAndHoldOnToTheSides
#ThisMorningIHadMyBackToHerWhileIWasDoingTheWashingUpAndAfterHearingALittleYellITurnedToSeeHerHangingOffOfIt
#IThoughtAboutGrabbingMyPhoneAndTakingAPictureButLuckilyCommonSenseKickedInAndIGotToHerJustAsSheBeganToFallOff
#MyInterpretationWillProbablyNotBeThatGreatAsIAmALotBiggerThanHerAndIAmPregnant
#TheBigDramaThoughWasBEatingSomeOfHerSkinCreamTheOtherDay
#IWentIntoHerRoomAndSawTheLidWasOffAndIWasSureIHadPutItBackOn
#ThenIWasChangingHerNappyAndISawHerPutSomethingInHerMouthQuiteCasually
#IRealisedItWasHerSkinCreamSoICalled111AndAfterTwentyMinutesIGotToSpeakToSomeone
#AfterGoingThroughALongChecklistTheySaidSomeoneWouldCallUsBackInABitButIfHerConditionChangedThenWeShouldCallBack
#TheySaidItHasALowToxicityAndAsSheDidNotEatMuchSheWouldBeOkayAndSheHasBeenFine
#IAmSurprisedSomethingLikeThisHasNotHappenedBeforeButItWasNotAProudParentingMoment
#AHealthVisitorCalledYesterdayAboutBAndTheQuestionnaireTheySentUsAFewMonthsAgoAboutHer
#ISaidIHadNoConcernsButTheyAskedIfIWantedToBringHerInToWeighAndMeasureHer
#ISaidYesButTheCentreIsQuiteAWayAwaySoTheySaidTheyCouldJustDoAHomeVisit
#IAmNowPotentiallyAQuarterOfTheWayThroughThePregnancy
#IAmSoBoredOfBeingSickAlreadyThoughIAmTryingMyBestToAvoidIt
#IHaveBeenSickThirteenTimesWhichIKnowAsIAmMakingASequelToPukePortraits
#LastNightIWasSickAfterBrushingMyTeethAndICouldNotGetTheSickTasteFromMyThroat
#WithBIWasGenerallyAlwaysSickInTheMorningButNowThereIsNotReallyAPattern
#InsomniaIsStartingToKickInAlreadyAndLastNightIWasAwakeFromThreeToFour
#WeAreTryingToGetBToWakeUpLaterByChangingWhenSheHasHerMilkAndGivingHerMoreSnacksAndGivingHerYoghurtBeforeBedButSheGenerallyStillWakesUpEarly
#OneThingIAmEnjoyingIsMyCravingForBreakfastBurritosWhichIHaveInTheMorning
#AWrapThreeHashBrownsTwoScrambledEggsAndDipsYum
#IAmDreamingALotMoreAndGenerallyTheyResultInMeGettingUpToLookForBAsIThinkSheHasFallenSomewhereInOurRoom
#TiagoSaysHeOftenSeesMeWalkingOutOfTheRoomAndWondersWhereIAmGoing
#IAmWorriedAboutMasksSoonNoLongerBeingLegallyRequiredAsIThinkALotOfPeopleWillNotWearThem
#IDoNotGoCurrentlyGoOutToManyPlacesAndIThinkIWillFeelEvenMoreLimitedWithMyOptionsWhenTheRulesChange
#IWorryThatPeopleWillFeelMoreComfortableWalkingCloserToPeopleWhoAreWearingMasksWhenTheyAreNotWearingThemThemselves
#IHaveStartedToTakeBForWalksAtSevenInTheMorningInsteadOfGoingOutAfterTheSchoolsHaveFinishedForTheDay

#BLovesToClimbOnAndOffThisStepLadderButLuckilySheOnlyGoesToTheFirstStep

At the moment. By the time I post this things could be different.

(10th September: She has a climbing frame now, but she still hangs on the steps sometimes.)

#SheLikesToPutHerKneesOnItAndHoldOnToTheSides

Which is what I will try to imitate if I don’t topple it.

#ThisMorningIHadMyBackToHerWhileIWasDoingTheWashingUpAndAfterHearingALittleYellITurnedToSeeHerHangingOffOfIt

I guess she had stuck her legs through the gap then had let go and was doing a kind of back bend.

She is quite good at getting on and off it now so I thought I was okay to do the washing up. I often will just sit there and be ready to grab her if need be as I don’t want to say ‘careful’ to her too much. We need to get her a climbing frame.

#IThoughtAboutGrabbingMyPhoneAndTakingAPictureButLuckilyCommonSenseKickedInAndIGotToHerJustAsSheBeganToFallOff

I would have been way too slow to get a picture and I’m sure Tiago will witness it for himself at some point.

#MyInterpretationWillProbablyNotBeThatGreatAsIAmALotBiggerThanHerAndIAmPregnant

I need to be careful. I’ll move it into B’s room as there won’t be much space for all my kit in the kitchen and it’s awkward with my Nan around doing shoots.

(10th September: It was quite hard to photograph as B is small and I am big, and I’m pregnant. It hurt my knees…)

#TheBigDramaThoughWasBEatingSomeOfHerSkinCreamTheOtherDay

She’s been itching her chest a lot lately though the skin looks fine.

#IWentIntoHerRoomAndSawTheLidWasOffAndIWasSureIHadPutItBackOn

Now I am starting to think I didn’t as I was going to use it shortly, or B knocked it off.

#ThenIWasChangingHerNappyAndISawHerPutSomethingInHerMouthQuiteCasually #IRealisedItWasHerSkinCreamSoICalled111AndAfterTwentyMinutesIGotToSpeakToSomeone

She had just quite casually scooped her fingers in it and then put her fingers in her mouth. I realised quite quickly and pulled them away from her. Her bottom lip started to tremble like it does when she realises that I am stressed/annoyed. Calling 999 seemed liked overkill. It took me about 5 minutes to get to the right option. They said the website chat was quicker but not suitable for under 5s. Great.

#AfterGoingThroughALongChecklistTheySaidSomeoneWouldCallUsBackInABitButIfHerConditionChangedThenWeShouldCallBack

Well, waiting 20 minutes to tell them wouldn’t have been great.

#TheySaidItHasALowToxicityAndAsSheDidNotEatMuchSheWouldBeOkayAndSheHasBeenFine

Phew. That was a wakeup call.

#IAmSurprisedSomethingLikeThisHasNotHappenedBeforeButItWasNotAProudParentingMoment

It’s awkward to admit it, but yeah I screwed up. I had already forgotten about it though, but I send myself reminders of what to talk about in my next set of hashtags – I didn’t manage to fit everything into my last set, so some of these are things that I planned to say last time. I want to keep within Instagram’s post limits, but I’m getting too good at waffling on.

#AHealthVisitorCalledYesterdayAboutBAndTheQuestionnaireTheySentUsAFewMonthsAgoAboutHer

The one where they were like ‘we’re not coming round but you do this questionnaire’ while friends’ kids in Liverpool got seen in person. Still bitter.

#ISaidIHadNoConcernsButTheyAskedIfIWantedToBringHerInToWeighAndMeasureHer

Why not? I guess they just want to check on her. I wonder if they got flagged by my 111 call? Am I worried that I am on a watch list now? Maybe a little.

#ISaidYesButTheCentreIsQuiteAWayAwaySoTheySaidTheyCouldJustDoAHomeVisit

I don’t drive. I definitely won’t be in a rush to take public transport now with mask rules changing. Tiago has to work and I can’t expect him to drop us off everywhere all the time. I was quite relieved when they said they could do a home visit as the first three dates and times she said would have been a struggle for us. I guess their rules have changed and they will do home visits now. Shrug.

#IAmNowPotentiallyAQuarterOfTheWayThroughThePregnancy

I am hoping this baby will not be a 42 weeker. B arrived just before 39 weeks, so I hoping it will be similar.

#IAmSoBoredOfBeingSickAlreadyThoughIAmTryingMyBestToAvoidIt #IHaveBeenSickThirteenTimesWhichIKnowAsIAmMakingASequelToPukePortraits

I think I have said that I definitely feel worse when I stand up. Some days I feel sick all day and just have to stay as close to being seated as possible. Sometimes I am sick just to try to get the feeling to pass, but sometimes it doesn’t.

#LastNightIWasSickAfterBrushingMyTeethAndICouldNotGetTheSickTasteFromMyThroat

It was grim. I feel sick just thinking about it.

#WithBIWasGenerallyAlwaysSickInTheMorningButNowThereIsNotReallyAPattern

Looking at the times it bounces all over the place from morning, afternoon to night.

#InsomniaIsStartingToKickInAlreadyAndLastNightIWasAwakeFromThreeToFour

Great. Note to self: Don’t faff on social media to try to go back to sleep. It does not work. I’m currently reading Mythos by Stephen Fry, and after all the faffing I read a bit of that and it’s so intense that I felt sleepy quite quickly. I used to read a lot in the night when I had insomnia with B.

It seems a bit early to be having these bouts of waking up, but it is what it is.

#WeAreTryingToGetBToWakeUpLaterByChangingWhenSheHasHerMilkAndGivingHerMoreSnacksAndGivingHerYoghurtBeforeBedButSheGenerallyStillWakesUpEarly

Great. If she woke up at 6 every day it would not be so bad. Last night she was awake loads, but I think it is due to the front top tooth of hers that has been showing itself for a bit now.

Now we give her milk with her meals as we were giving it to her between them, but it can’t be that filling. Now she has fruit/veg snacks, and instead of having yoghurt straight after dinner she has it about an hour later.

#OneThingIAmEnjoyingIsMyCravingForBreakfastBurritosWhichIHaveInTheMorning #AWrapThreeHashBrownsTwoScrambledEggsAndDipsYum

I was craving them for about 3 days before I asked Tiago to get me all the components. I’ve had one for breakfast for the last week now. I seem to enjoy breakfast the most. Dinner is a struggle. I had a phase of that with B, when I had to eat pasta and veg for dinner every night.

#IAmDreamingALotMoreAndGenerallyTheyResultInMeGettingUpToLookForBAsIThinkSheHasFallenSomewhereInOurRoom #TiagoSaysHeOftenSeesMeWalkingOutOfTheRoomAndWondersWhereIAmGoing

Last night I dreamed that she had been sick and got yoghurt everywhere.

#IAmWorriedAboutMasksSoonNoLongerBeingLegallyRequiredAsIThinkALotOfPeopleWillNotWearThem #IDoNotGoCurrentlyGoOutToManyPlacesAndIThinkIWillFeelEvenMoreLimitedWithMyOptionsWhenTheRulesChange #IWorryThatPeopleWillFeelMoreComfortableWalkingCloserToPeopleWhoAreWearingMasksWhenTheyAreNotWearingThemThemselves

My last hashtag was originally ‘I’m debating getting a hi vis jacket that says keep the f away from me’. I guess I will feel better when I am vaccinated but being double vaccinated is still a way off for me. I definitely won’t be going to that soft play place where the under 5 section is right at the back of (what feels like) an unventilated warehouse and people weren’t wearing their masks properly a month+ ago. I’m currently fuming about the government’s decision to tell the general public to do what they think is best. I was 8 months pregnant with people walking right next to me a year ago. I was in hospital for 4 days with no visitors, and not long afterwards people were partying in a square and throwing fireworks. Meh. I have little faith in the English public. Soz.

#IHaveStartedToTakeBForWalksAtSevenInTheMorningInsteadOfGoingOutAfterTheSchoolsHaveFinishedForTheDay

I am always feeling so meh in the morning and it’s generally quite quiet apart from dog walkers (we’ve seen a couple of familiar faces the last couple of days which has been nice). I used to take her out when the kids were leaving school just due to her nap times, but the playground is too crowded these days and we don’t talk to anyone so what’s the point? Instead I try to cook dinner before I feel too sick. Fun times.

10 weeks pregnant with B comparison:

Self-portrait showing the bandage on my left arm where I had a blood test. My right hand is under my chin and I am pulling a piece of my hair.
Bloody Blood Tests (10 Weeks)
 
#WhatAWasteOfTime
#LuckilyTiagoCouldDropMeOffAndPickMeUpOrItWouldHaveTakenUpMoreOfMyMorningThanItAlreadyDid
#WeGotToTheHospitalEarlyAndDroveRoundTheWholeMultistoryCarParkAndCouldNotGetASpace
#AnnoyinglyThereWereAFewCarsInFrontOfUsAndWeWatchedThemGetTheLastSpaces
#InTheEndIGotOutOfTheCarAndLeftTiagoToTryToFindASpace
#HeDidNotSoHeWentToAShop
#ICouldNotFindTheRightBuilding
#KeptLookingAtMaps
#NoneOfTheSignsSaidTheBuildingINeeded
#InTheEndIHadToUseGoogleMaps
#IFinallyFoundIt
#WaitingAroundButIDidNotSignInSoIWasLikeHowDoTheyKnowIAmHere
#WentBackToReceptionAndTheySaidToJustGoIn
#StoodByTheDoorAndThePersonCameOver
#WentInAndShowedHerMyFolderAndSheSaidAreYouHavingScreenings
#Yes
#SoWhyDidSheMakeYouComeHereAsAtYourNextScanTheyWillDoBloodTests
#SheWasSoAnnoyed
#ThenIWasAnnoyedAsItWasAWasteOfTimeForUsAll
#LuckilyMyBloodCameOutThisTime
#NotThatItWouldHaveMattered
#IHadEatenAndDrankEnoughAndExercisedAndItWasNotSoEarlyInTheMorning
#AnnoyedForTiagoWastingHisTimeAndForMe
#LuckilyTodayWasADayForMyOwnStuffSoIJustWastedMyOwnTime
#ButIHaveSoMuchThatIWantToGetDone
#WasAWasteOfEveryonesTimeAndResources
#IAmLuckyAsItWasFreeForMe
#ButItIsWastingEveryonesMoney
#SoAnnoyed
#SoWillHaveBloodTakenAgainInLessThanAMonthsTime

I avoided this mess this time by having my first blood test at 13 weeks. This was due to covid and my inital appointment being over the phone (see last post).

I’ve also learned from these experiences and to have eaten food and be well hydrated for appointments.


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Categories
Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Imitating B Chewing On A Wet Flannel (28th April 2021)

Me with my hair up, holding a light blue flannel in both hands and putting part of it in my mouth. I am wearing a grey dress with black polka dots and am sat against a plain wall.
Imitating B Chewing On A Wet Flannel (28th April 2021)
 
#IAmSurprisedThatIsHasTakenMeThisLongToGetRoundToImitatingBChewingOnAWetFlannel
#AfterAMealIUsuallyWetAFlannelATryToWashHerFace
#HoweverSheJustWantsToChewOnItAsIGuessItMustFeelNiceForHerEverTeethingGums
#IBetWhenSheIsOlderBWillCallMeOutChoosingNotToShowHerFullFaceButDecidingToShareThingsLikeThis
#FairPlayFutureB
#SheHasStartedToSayGaGaMoreNow
#YesterdayWeGotSentAQuestionnaireToFillInAboutHerDevelopment
#AHealthVisitorWouldUsuallyVisitHerAround9To12MonthsToDoItButBecauseOfCovidTheyAreNotDoingItFaceToFace
#ThereAreQuestionsAboutCommunicationGrossMotorSkillsFineMotorSkillsProblemSolvingPersonalSkillsAndSocialSkills
#IThinkBNowDoesMostOfTheThingsThatItTalksAboutButIAmWorriedAboutFillingItInWrong
#ItIsShameThatSomeoneCanNotJustComeRoundAndDoItButIDoNotHaveAnyConcernsAboutHer
#LastWeekIWasWorriedThatSheWasTooHotInTheNightAndNowIThinkSheHasBeenTooCold
#SheWasAwakeForAnHourAndAHalfTheOtherNightButWentBackToSleepAfterIPutHerHeaterOn
#ItWasEitherThatThatFixedItOrItWasACoincidence
#IGotABitEmotionalYesterdaySeeingBHavingFunWithBabiesHerOwnAge
#WeHadAPicnicWithAMotherAndBabyFromOneOfHerClassesAndItWasReallyNice
#ThenSheWasJustCrawlingAroundAndInteractingWithBabiesInHerClass
#ThisIsHowItShouldHaveBeenTheWholeTimeSheHasBeenAliveButOhWell
#TheTeacherSaidThatTheyLearnTheConceptOfSharingAtFourWhichWeAllSighedAt
#ButReadingOnlineAnArticleSaysTheyReallyWantThingsToBeFairByTheTimeTheyAreSevenOrEight
#SoPlentyMoreYearsOfApologisingForBGrabbingToysAwayFromOtherKidsGreat
#MyAuntCameRoundToVisitUsAndBWasNotHappyAboutIt
#ThoughAgainAfterAWhileSheWasFineInHerCompanySoItIsGoodToKnowItIsJustAboutPerseverance
#IWasFeelingABitDownTheOtherDayAgainAndThenIRealisedThatTiagoHasNotHadAWeekOffSinceTheStartOfOctober
#NoWonderWeAreAllTired
#HeHasFinallyBookedAWeekOffInAMonthOrSoSoItIsNiceToHaveSomethingToCountDownTo
#INeedToWorkToBeMorePresentWhenIAmWithB
#ICompletedASurveyAboutSocialMediaTheOtherDayAndItAskedMeAboutMyMoodsWhenUsingIt
#IWasReallyNegativeAboutAllOfItSoINeedToUseItAndMyPhoneALotLess
#IWantToBeABetterMotherToBAndIWantToFeelHappier

#IAmSurprisedThatIsHasTakenMeThisLongToGetRoundToImitatingBChewingOnAWetFlannel

She has been doing it for a while.

#AfterAMealIUsuallyWetAFlannelATryToWashHerFace

Pretty standard.

#HoweverSheJustWantsToChewOnItAsIGuessItMustFeelNiceForHerEverTeethingGums

It makes sense. Yesterday she tried to teeth on my arm and it just hurt because of her one little sharp tooth.

#IBetWhenSheIsOlderBWillCallMeOutChoosingNotToShowHerFullFaceButDecidingToShareThingsLikeThis

Probably. I do wonder what she will think of this project, I do worry what she will think of this project. I hope she just finds it funny.

#FairPlayFutureB

I would say it’s your own fault for chewing on a flannel all the time, but you’ll probably just say ‘Mum, I was a baby I didn’t know any better!’

Fair play future B.

#SheHasStartedToSayGaGaMoreNow

Did I play Radio Ga Ga a few times this morning after B said it? Yes I did.

#YesterdayWeGotSentAQuestionnaireToFillInAboutHerDevelopment #AHealthVisitorWouldUsuallyVisitHerAround9To12MonthsToDoItButBecauseOfCovidTheyAreNotDoingItFaceToFace #ThereAreQuestionsAboutCommunicationGrossMotorSkillsFineMotorSkillsProblemSolvingPersonalSkillsAndSocialSkills #IThinkBNowDoesMostOfTheThingsThatItTalksAboutButIAmWorriedAboutFillingItInWrong

All the questions. It is a bit stressful. I started to do it, but I will wait until the weekend when Tiago is available to assess too.

#ItIsShameThatSomeoneCanNotJustComeRoundAndDoItButIDoNotHaveAnyConcernsAboutHer

It says if they don’t hear from us in 2 weeks then they will assume we have no worries.

(1st June: I didn’t bother finishing it in in the end as I was so pissed off that our friends in Liverpool have health visitors coming to them, and I don’t have any concerns about B’s development anyways.)

#LastWeekIWasWorriedThatSheWasTooHotInTheNightAndNowIThinkSheHasBeenTooCold

The joy never ends.

#SheWasAwakeForAnHourAndAHalfTheOtherNightButWentBackToSleepAfterIPutHerHeaterOn #ItWasEitherThatThatFixedItOrItWasACoincidence

We’d changed her nappy, given her paracetamol, given her water etc. Her room didn’t feel that cold, but it was 5am and we wanted to sleep so I thought it was worth a go.

#IGotABitEmotionalYesterdaySeeingBHavingFunWithBabiesHerOwnAge

I got a bit emotional writing this and thinking about it again.

#WeHadAPicnicWithAMotherAndBabyFromOneOfHerClassesAndItWasReallyNice

Just a normal thing that felt like a big deal.

#ThenSheWasJustCrawlingAroundAndInteractingWithBabiesInHerClass

I felt like we were sat in the cheeky corner as they were all just getting up to mischief. There are a lot of younger babies and B was looking at them, which was sweet.

#ThisIsHowItShouldHaveBeenTheWholeTimeSheHasBeenAliveButOhWell

I know a couple of them are starting nursery soon, so we’ll need to find some new friends in the class. People seem nice though so I’m sure it will be fine. The class is great and we all have a laugh which is really good.

#TheTeacherSaidThatTheyLearnTheConceptOfSharingAtFourWhichWeAllSighedAt

Sighed and groaned and lots of other negative reactions.

#ButReadingOnlineAnArticleSaysTheyReallyWantThingsToBeFairByTheTimeTheyAreSevenOrEight

I remember being about 6 in the playground and being like ‘Who wants to play Aladdin? I’ll be Jasmine.’ Someone would complain. ‘Okay, let’s play Beauty and the Beast. I’ll be Belle’. Then we moved and I became the shy kid.

#SoPlentyMoreYearsOfApologisingForBGrabbingToysAwayFromOtherKidsGreat

Luckily they don’t seem to mind about it so much yet.

#MyAuntCameRoundToVisitUsAndBWasNotHappyAboutIt

She was CRYING. Trying to look at her, then hiding and crying.

#ThoughAgainAfterAWhileSheWasFineInHerCompanySoItIsGoodToKnowItIsJustAboutPerseverance

It did take some time, but I guess she realises that we aren’t concerned and so feels fine. At classes she will go and sit next to someone else and forget about me, but I guess my Nan’s house and garden is her territory so she doesn’t like other people randomly coming along. Fair enough.

#IWasFeelingABitDownTheOtherDayAgainAndThenIRealisedThatTiagoHasNotHadAWeekOffSinceTheStartOfOctober #NoWonderWeAreAllTired

I can’t believe it’s been that long, but it does feel like forever ago.

#HeHasFinallyBookedAWeekOffInAMonthOrSoSoItIsNiceToHaveSomethingToCountDownTo

It’ll be nice to do some things as a family and B will be older so she will probably appreciate going to a farm or something. She does seem to like animals, but so do most kids her age I imagine.

#INeedToWorkToBeMorePresentWhenIAmWithB

I complain about being a bad mother, but I need to work on being better. It’s hard when I am tired, but I feel better when I feel like she is enjoying herself.

#ICompletedASurveyAboutSocialMediaTheOtherDayAndItAskedMeAboutMyMoodsWhenUsingIt #IWasReallyNegativeAboutAllOfItSoINeedToUseItAndMyPhoneALotLess

I had already decided that I was going to go on Instagram less and that just showed why I should go on it less. I really get little from it, which seems weird to say considering this whole project is built around the maximum number of hashtags that you can post on a post on Instagram.

#IWantToBeABetterMotherToBAndIWantToFeelHappier

I am tired and B will hopefully nap for another hour. I think I’m going to play a game of online Minesweeper then have a little rest and read a bit of the fourth Narnia book. I should probably just do the shoot now, but I might wait until B is having her second nap.

(1st June: I think B woke up 5 minutes after I finishing writing this, and I did the shoot during her second nap.)


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Categories
Oh Me, Oh Mãe

I Carried Her Coat Down The Stairs On My Head And Thought It Was Interesting Enough For A Photo (1st December 2020)

I Carried Her Coat Down The Stairs On My Head And Thought It Was Interesting Enough For A Photo (1st December 2020)
 
#IAmInSuchABadMoodThisMorning
#BSleptForAbout7HoursStraightLastNightButItIsNeverEnough
#IHaveBeenPreparingSomeButternutSquashForHerToday
#AndAttemptedToMakeAButternutSquashAndCarrotSoupForUs
#YesterdayTheHealthVisitorCameAndSheSaidBIsProgressingWell
#SheIsStayingWithinHerWeightPercentileWhichIsGood
#ISaidThatIAmStrugglingABitMentally
#InLiverpoolIToldMyGPWhoSaidToTellMyHealthVisitor
#HereInBirminghamTheHealthVisitorSaysIShouldTellMyGPAndGaveMeANumberForAPostNatalServiceToTry
#IFeltQuiteGoodYesterdaySoIThoughtIWouldCallThemWhenIFeltBad
#IMightGiveThemACallLater
#TheHealthVisitorIsComingAtTheEndOfThisMonthToCheckOnMeAgain
#SheKeptSayingThatIFeltLonelyButIDoNotReallyIJustWantMoreVariationInBsPlaytimes
#IHaveFinallyManagedToSignBUpForAClass
#ThereAreSomeClassesBeforeXmasAndThenThereIsABigGapThenAnotherFew
#IAmExcitedButAlsoVeryNervous
#OurScheduleIsVeryFocusedAroundHomeSoIFeelABitStressedAboutHavingToPlanAroundAClass
#ItWillBeGoodForUsThoughAndIHopeToFindOthersToGoTo
#IWasHopingThatTheHealthVisitorWouldGiveMeAListOfPlacesThatICouldGoTo
#TheChildrensCentreIsQuiteFarToWalkToButApparentlyTheyHaveOnlineClassesAtTheMoment
#IHaveNotHadToPackABagForBForAges
#AndIHaveNotFedHerInPublicForALongTime
#IGuessIShouldTakeABottleOfFormulaJustInCase
#TheOtherDayISaidSheHadNotBreastfedInAWhileAndThatIHadGivenUp
#IInspiredMyselfToTryAgain
#IDoNotThinkSheIsGettingMuchButSheIsGettingSomething
#IWasQuiteSurprisedThatMyMilkHadNotCompletelyDriedUp
#MyWorkshopWentWellThoughALotMorePeopleSignedUpThanAttended
#IWorkedHardOnItSoInTheEveningITreatedMyselfToABathWithSomeBathSaltsThatIBought5MonthsAgoButHadNotUsedYet
#ThereWasNotMuchHotWaterSoInTheEndIJustSoakedMyselfInAPrettyColdBath

(Well, the title says it all. Maybe I should have called it something more interesting, but it is what it is.)

#IAmInSuchABadMoodThisMorning

Though typically I feel better after venting about it in my hashtags.

(I’m writing this on 1st December 2020.)

#BSleptForAbout7HoursStraightLastNightButItIsNeverEnough

We gave her some paracetamol last night for the first time in a few nights and maybe that was why? Or it could be that she went to bed quite early, but had two more feeds before we went to bed? She always seems to be hungry…

#IHaveBeenPreparingSomeButternutSquashForHerToday

I try to prepare her food for the day during her first nap now.

#AndAttemptedToMakeAButternutSquashAndCarrotSoupForUs

This is my new thing now – preparing food for B and then trying to make a soup for us for lunch. I think I felt so crummy as I just wanted to get on and do my work, but I was sorting out food.

#YesterdayTheHealthVisitorCameAndSheSaidBIsProgressingWell #SheIsStayingWithinHerWeightPercentileWhichIsGood

Good news.

#ISaidThatIAmStrugglingABitMentally #InLiverpoolIToldMyGPWhoSaidToTellMyHealthVisitor #HereInBirminghamTheHealthVisitorSaysIShouldTellMyGPAndGaveMeANumberForAPostNatalServiceToTry #IFeltQuiteGoodYesterdaySoIThoughtIWouldCallThemWhenIFeltBad #IMightGiveThemACallLater

Obviously every place has their own way of doing things. I do tend to feel better at the start of the week and the health visitor coming made the day a bit more interesting. Though I did think that I had the wrong day as it was getting on and she had not arrived. B was due for a nap but I was trying to keep her up as I knew she would have to be weighed. In the end I put her to bed and called the number to check, and they said she was 30 minutes away.

#TheHealthVisitorIsComingAtTheEndOfThisMonthToCheckOnMeAgain

To see how I’m doing mentally.

#SheKeptSayingThatIFeltLonelyButIDoNotReallyIJustWantMoreVariationInBsPlaytimes

Back time, tummy time, books, toys etc. repeat x 10.

#IHaveFinallyManagedToSignBUpForAClass

Hurrah.

#ThereAreSomeClassesBeforeXmasAndThenThereIsABigGapThenAnotherFew

Classes are starting up again, but typically it’s nearly Christmas now so they generally close for that period.

#IAmExcitedButAlsoVeryNervous #OurScheduleIsVeryFocusedAroundHomeSoIFeelABitStressedAboutHavingToPlanAroundAClass #ItWillBeGoodForUsThoughAndIHopeToFindOthersToGoTo

B is 5 and a half months old. We’ve been to one class in person. This is why I get so rigid with her routine, but luckily I have been relaxing a bit about it lately.

I am hoping the class will tire her out more than just our usual playtimes so she will sleep well at night. I have been wondering if that is why sometimes she does not sleep very well – she has not been tired out enough.

#IWasHopingThatTheHealthVisitorWouldGiveMeAListOfPlacesThatICouldGoTo #TheChildrensCentreIsQuiteFarToWalkToButApparentlyTheyHaveOnlineClassesAtTheMoment

Typically in Liverpool we lived a lot closer to a children’s centre, but it was closed the whole time that we needed it.

#IHaveNotHadToPackABagForBForAges #AndIHaveNotFedHerInPublicForALongTime #IGuessIShouldTakeABottleOfFormulaJustInCase

I feel like I am already making a mental list of what I need to take. Changing bag, change of clothes, bibs, food.

It is a little walk, but hopefully we’ll walk there if the weather is nice and then T can pick us up afterwards.

#TheOtherDayISaidSheHadNotBreastfedInAWhileAndThatIHadGivenUp #IInspiredMyselfToTryAgain #IDoNotThinkSheIsGettingMuchButSheIsGettingSomething #IWasQuiteSurprisedThatMyMilkHadNotCompletelyDriedUp

This morning she fed a bit, but she still seemed hungry so I gave her some formula too. I am trying to feed her in the morning and evening to see if that helps my supply. I miss the convenience of breastfeeding, though our prep machine is super useful.

#MyWorkshopWentWellThoughALotMorePeopleSignedUpThanAttended

It was good to try it out with a very small, but enthusiastic group though. I am hoping that I will have more opportunities to do it again, but who knows.

#IWorkedHardOnItSoInTheEveningITreatedMyselfToABathWithSomeBathSaltsThatIBought5MonthsAgoButHadNotUsedYet #ThereWasNotMuchHotWaterSoInTheEndIJustSoakedMyselfInAPrettyColdBath

And I did not even notice the bath salts. Typical. Even though it was quite cold, it was nice to daydream though. I just felt like I had wasted a lot of water though…


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