Categories
Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Tiago’s Second Home Haircut (26th December 2020)

Tiago’s Second Home Haircut (26th December 2020)
 
#IAmWritingThisAt6ThirtyInTheMorningAsBHasAlreadyBeenUpForAboutAnHour
#SheHasBeenWakingUpACoupleOfTimesInTheNightButSleepingQuiteWellInGeneral
#SoLastNightWeStayedUpLateWatchingPearlHarbourWhichIHadRecordedACoupleOfWeeksAgo
#TheNightBeforeWeHadStayedUpNotAsLateWatchingADocumentaryAboutTheBeeGees
#IThinkTonightItWillBeAnEarlyNightForUsThoughWeWillProbablyNapWhenSheHasHerFirstNap
#TiagoHasFourDaysOffForXmasSoIHaveBeenHavingALittleMoreOfABreak
#IFeelGuiltyAboutItThough
#YesterdayIFeltLikeICouldHaveStayedInBedForAWeekAsISuddenlyFeltSoDown
#TheCodingCourseSeemsALotHarderAndIAmHavingALotLessFeelingSmartMoments
#YesIDidDoABitOfCodingAndGeneralWorkOnChristmasDay
#ItIsStillAboutAnotherWeekUntilMyPhoneCallAssessmentWithTheServiceThatMyHealthVisitorSuggested
#IAmFindingItHardToSeeSocialMediaPostsAboutPeopleAndTheirBabies
#IThinkItIsBecauseItAllLooksSoEasyForEveryoneElseThoughIKnowThatEveryoneOnlyUsuallyTriesToShowTheirBestSelvesOnSocialMedia
#AfterGoingToTheHairdressersIRealisedThatTheCystOnMyHeadIsQuiteVisibleNow
#WellItIsMoreTheBaldPatchThatSurroundsIt
#IHaveProbablyHadItForAtLeastAYearAndAHalfButItHasGotBiggerAsIMessWithItWhenIGetStressed
#AndPregnancyAndCovidAndThingsHaveBeenStressful
#IAmTalkingAboutItNowToShameMyselfIntoStopMessingWithItButIKnowThatIWillProbablyNot
#ICouldGetItRemovedButApparentlyTheyUsuallyGrowBack
#IJustSearchEnginedCystOnHeadAndIFeelABitBetterAboutItAllAsThereAreSomeHugeOnesOutThere
#AnywaysWeReallyNeedToMoveBOutOfTheBassinetOnHerCotAndIntoTheBottomBit
#ItIsRidiculousHowMuchSheHasGrownIn6Months
#IGuessWeAreStallingBecauseItWillBeALotMoreAnnoyingToGetHerOutOfItAndWeWillNotBeAbleToRockHerAsEasily
#YesterdayWeMadeHerSomeNiceMealsButSheDidNotSeemThatIntoThem
#WhichIsProbablyWhySheWokeUpSoEarlyTodayAsWhenSheEatsWellSheSeemsToSleepBetter
#IThinkIHaveFinallyGivenUpWithBreastfeedingNowAsSheHasHadAFewDaysOfNotWantingToBreastfeedSoIGaveUpAFewDaysAgo
#IThinkIFindItDifficultSeeingSoManyPostsAndReferencesAboutBreastfeedingAsIFeelABitGuiltyAboutItThoughItWasUltimatelyBsChoice
#ButAlsoIFeelBadThatThingsIHavePostedInThePastMightHaveMadeOthersFeelBadAboutThemselvesForWhateverReason
#TheShootWasMeantToBeAFamilyPortaitSessionButTiagoAskedMeToCutHisHairAgainSoIThoughtIShouldDocumentIt
#IThoughtIHadDoneABetterJobThanLastTimeButNowIAmNotSoSureAndIMightNeedToNeatenItUpMoreLater

#IAmWritingThisAt6ThirtyInTheMorningAsBHasAlreadyBeenUpForAboutAnHour

I can hear B giggling at T from here. I’m also listening to Sparrow Sleeps – which are lullaby versions of songs that I liked when I was a teen. I’ve been listening to Relient K, but now I see they have albums of Say Anything and Alkaline Trio… It’s quite nice to write to as I don’t get so distracted by the lyrics though I am kind of singing along anyways.

(I wrote this on 26th December and I’d already forgot about Sparrow Sleeps, so thanks to me for the reminder!)

#SheHasBeenWakingUpACoupleOfTimesInTheNightButSleepingQuiteWellInGeneral #SoLastNightWeStayedUpLateWatchingPearlHarbourWhichIHadRecordedACoupleOfWeeksAgo #TheNightBeforeWeHadStayedUpNotAsLateWatchingADocumentaryAboutTheBeeGees

We thought that we were cursing things by staying up late two nights ago, but as she slept fairly well we just ended up watching the whole of Pearl Harbour. I thought I would turn it off at 11pm, but there seemed like no point as we were so close to the end.

#IThinkTonightItWillBeAnEarlyNightForUsThoughWeWillProbablyNapWhenSheHasHerFirstNap

Well, Tiago says when I am finished that he will probably have a nap.

#TiagoHasFourDaysOffForXmasSoIHaveBeenHavingALittleMoreOfABreak #IFeelGuiltyAboutItThough

Tiago says I can’t win as I feel bad for wanting more time for myself, but when I do I feel guilty about it and don’t really enjoy it.

T fed B all her meals yesterday (though dinner didn’t go well so I gave it a go). I tried to just read my book (The Sanest Guy In The Room by Don Black), but I kept getting distracted by my Nan and life. I usually read e-books now, but this is a physical book that my Mum got me for my birthday.

#YesterdayIFeltLikeICouldHaveStayedInBedForAWeekAsISuddenlyFeltSoDown

Though the feeling passed a bit after 20ish minutes in bed, when I felt guilty for being there.

#TheCodingCourseSeemsALotHarderAndIAmHavingALotLessFeelingSmartMoments

It sucks feeling dumb, but I am halfway through it now so I just need to get on and finish it.

#YesIDidDoABitOfCodingAndGeneralWorkOnChristmasDay

To be fair I think I always do work a bit on Xmas, and now it makes more sense than ever as Tiago is off and I work when I have the chance.

A couple of photos from my Neblina series were taken on Xmas day.

#ItIsStillAboutAnotherWeekUntilMyPhoneCallAssessmentWithTheServiceThatMyHealthVisitorSuggested

I felt like I didn’t need to speak to them anymore, but my mood does go up and down a lot. I know they won’t be able to help with some things (they won’t be able to give me time off – though like I’ve said before I don’t want time away from B), but maybe it might help me to try to change myself for the better.

#IAmFindingItHardToSeeSocialMediaPostsAboutPeopleAndTheirBabies #IThinkItIsBecauseItAllLooksSoEasyForEveryoneElseThoughIKnowThatEveryoneOnlyUsuallyTriesToShowTheirBestSelvesOnSocialMedia

It’s so stupid that it gets to me. I know that most of social media is fake and most people don’t show their true feelings etc. I am happy for other people, but it says a lot more about me than it does about them.

#AfterGoingToTheHairdressersIRealisedThatTheCystOnMyHeadIsQuiteVisibleNow

Talking about my cyst is just making me think of RuPaul’s Drag Race…

#WellItIsMoreTheBaldPatchThatSurroundsIt #IHaveProbablyHadItForAtLeastAYearAndAHalfButItHasGotBiggerAsIMessWithItWhenIGetStressed #AndPregnancyAndCovidAndThingsHaveBeenStressful #IAmTalkingAboutItNowToShameMyselfIntoStopMessingWithItButIKnowThatIWillProbablyNot #ICouldGetItRemovedButApparentlyTheyUsuallyGrowBack

I’m also currently reading a book about periods (Period by Emma Barnett) and it says something about talking about them being quite off limits for a lot of people. Well, I’ve now talked about periods and cysts in my project so…

#IJustSearchEnginedCystOnHeadAndIFeelABitBetterAboutItAllAsThereAreSomeHugeOnesOutThere

Another fun thing about getting older.

#AnywaysWeReallyNeedToMoveBOutOfTheBassinetOnHerCotAndIntoTheBottomBit #ItIsRidiculousHowMuchSheHasGrownIn6Months #IGuessWeAreStallingBecauseItWillBeALotMoreAnnoyingToGetHerOutOfItAndWeWillNotBeAbleToRockHerAsEasily

It is unbelievable how much babies grow in the first six months though. I remember my friend sending us a 6 month onesie for B and thinking nah she is never going to be that big in 6 months time. Well, she is…

#YesterdayWeMadeHerSomeNiceMealsButSheDidNotSeemThatIntoThem

Carrot porridge (she eats that up every day, butternut squash with almond butter and cinnamon (she ate that all up the day before), and aubergine with red pepper and cous cous (she barely ate any).

#WhichIsProbablyWhySheWokeUpSoEarlyTodayAsWhenSheEatsWellSheSeemsToSleepBetter

We give her a lot of water with meals and between if she doesn’t have milk. We give her a milk feed in the morning and in the evening, but after her terrible dinner we gave her milk to make sure she had enough. I think she was just teething really badly and food was irritating her. Possibly?

#IThinkIHaveFinallyGivenUpWithBreastfeedingNowAsSheHasHadAFewDaysOfNotWantingToBreastfeedSoIGaveUpAFewDaysAgo #IThinkIFindItDifficultSeeingSoManyPostsAndReferencesAboutBreastfeedingAsIFeelABitGuiltyAboutItThoughItWasUltimatelyBsChoice

B didn’t want to anymore, so I shouldn’t feel bad about it though I feel like I might have jumped to formula a bit too quick before.. You never know. She wasn’t feeding well and we were moving, so it seemed like the best thing to do to make sure she was getting enough.

I feel like the whole breastfeeding journey has been very up and down. There are a lot of what ifs… but I do just need to let it go. Easier said than done.

#ButAlsoIFeelBadThatThingsIHavePostedInThePastMightHaveMadeOthersFeelBadAboutThemselvesForWhateverReason

And possible future posts. I need to talk about my need to gravitate to talk about negative things all the time; this is something I have felt about addressing for a while.

I guess I’ll save it for a future reflective post.

#TheShootWasMeantToBeAFamilyPortaitSessionButTiagoAskedMeToCutHisHairAgainSoIThoughtIShouldDocumentIt #IThoughtIHadDoneABetterJobThanLastTimeButNowIAmNotSoSureAndIMightNeedToNeatenItUpMoreLater

Well, I guess the next shoot can be a family portrait.

Tiago asked if I could cut his hair tonight, but my Mum was round so she looked after B while I did it. I did feel very nervous, but like last time I quickly got into it. It is quite therapeutic, but hopefully next time I’ll do a better job of it.

I never like how hair looks when it’s just been cut, so maybe it will look better in a few days. I do need to work out there not being such an abrupt change in length in hair between sections though.


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Categories
Motherhood

First Haircut Since January (22nd December 2020)

First Haircut Since January (22nd December 2020)
 
#IHaveNotBeenToTheHairdressersSinceJanuary2020
#MyNanAndIHadAppointmentsTogetherForLastMonthButTheyWereCancelledDueToEnglandsSecondLockdown
#IWantToGetALotCutOffButNotTooMuchAsINeedToBeAbleToTieItUpOtherwiseBPullsOnIt
#ButSheAlsoGigglesALotFromMyHairSwishingAboutSoMaybeIWillJustGetWhatNeedsToBeCutOffRemoved
#IFeelABitAwkwardAboutGoingAsIHaveACystOnMyHeadThatIsALotBiggerSinceLastTimeIWent
#IThinkItFeelsBiggerThanItLooksAtLeast
#IWokeUpInTheNightThinkingBWasInDangerAndNearlySmackedTiagoAcrossTheFaceOnAccident
#ICanNotRememberWhatIThoughtHadHappenedButIWokeUpVerySuddenlyAndPanickedLookingForHer
#IAlsoTurnedHerNoiseMachineOffAtOneThinkingItWasTimeToGetUp
#TheOtherNightIDreamtThatHerLowerHalfWasHangingOverTheBedAndSheWasAboutToFallOffAndIWokeUpVeryFast
#ABigTopicAtHomeAtTheMomentIsIfBShouldBeRaisedVegetarianOrNot
#IDoNotThinkItIsReallyADiscussionThoughAsTheConsensusSeemsToBeThatBShouldBeAtLeastFedFishForNow
#ThisConversationHasComeUpAFewTimesInThePastButEveryTimeIJustGetAnnoyedByIt
#IWouldRatherSheAteItLessOftenButAteGoodQualityMeatOrFishWhereWeKnowTheAnimalHadAFairlyDecentLife
#IJustDoNotWantToFeedHerItAsIHaveBeenVeggieSinceIWas15
#IDoNotWantToTurnThisWholeEntryIntoAThingOnVegetarianism
#IKnowThatItIsAHeatedTopicForALotOfPeopleAndIDoNotWantToHaveDiscussionsWithAnyoneElseAboutIt
#IAmHavingFlashbacksToConversationsWithPeopleNowAskingWhyIAmVegetarianAndThenArguingWithMeAboutIt
#TheCodingCourseIAmDoingIsGoingOkayThoughItRequiresALotOfBrainPower
#IFeelABitLikeErghWhyAmIDoingThisButIAmNearlyAWeekAheadWithMyWorkAndThereAre4WeeksLeft
#AfterIFinishINeedToUtiliseMyEveningsWellAsIRealiseHowMuchTimeIDoHave
#INeedToStartStudyingPortugueseAgainReally
#IWatchKidsSongsInPortugueseWithBEspeciallyWhenIAmTryingToFileHerNails
#AndIFeelLikeIAmAtLeastLearningSomeNewWords
#ButIReallyNeedToWorkOnBeingAbleToHaveNormalConversationsWithPeopleAndNotJustBeAbleToSingAboutAnimals
#WellIGotMyHaircutAndItWasOddToLeaveTheHouseWithoutB
#ItWasNiceToCatchupWithMyHairdresserThoughAsIHaveBeenGoingToTheSamePlaceSinceIWasATeenager
#IJustToldHerToDoWhatSheWantedToMyHairWhichIsWhatIUsuallySay
#BKeptLookingAtMyHairWhenIGotHomeAndWhenIPutHerDownToSleepSheWasTryingToPlayWithIt
#MyHairHasNotLookedThisNeatAndTidyForALongTimeAndIGuessItWillBeAWhileUntilUntilItLooksLikeThisAgain

#IHaveNotBeenToTheHairdressersSinceJanuary2020

I thought I had better add 2020 to the end as I will probably be posting this in January 2021.

#MyNanAndIHadAppointmentsTogetherForLastMonthButTheyWereCancelledDueToEnglandsSecondLockdown

I wanted us to get appointments at the same time this time, but I had to take B to a baby class at the time they were able to fit us in, so Nan went two weeks ago.

#IWantToGetALotCutOffButNotTooMuchAsINeedToBeAbleToTieItUpOtherwiseBPullsOnIt #ButSheAlsoGigglesALotFromMyHairSwishingAboutSoMaybeIWillJustGetWhatNeedsToBeCutOffRemoved

I can see why a lot of Mums have short hair now.

#IFeelABitAwkwardAboutGoingAsIHaveACystOnMyHeadThatIsALotBiggerSinceLastTimeIWent #IThinkItFeelsBiggerThanItLooksAtLeast

Talking to other people I didn’t realise how common cysts on the head were, so she probably sees them all the time.

#IWokeUpInTheNightThinkingBWasInDangerAndNearlySmackedTiagoAcrossTheFaceOnAccident #ICanNotRememberWhatIThoughtHadHappenedButIWokeUpVerySuddenlyAndPanickedLookingForHer

I just sat up very quickly and didn’t realise that I had nearly hit him. He was awake and just said something like ‘hey, watch my face!’ I think maybe I thought she was going to drink some very hot milk? I don’t know.

#IAlsoTurnedHerNoiseMachineOffAtOneThinkingItWasTimeToGetUp

I think I turned it off while I was half asleep, then I looked at the time, said ‘oops’ and turned it back on. I think I disturbed B a bit as I soon had to soothe her a bit, but she went back to sleep.

#TheOtherNightIDreamtThatHerLowerHalfWasHangingOverTheBedAndSheWasAboutToFallOffAndIWokeUpVeryFast

Maybe my dream was also to do with her falling last night? I wake up so fast – it’s more efficient than an alarm clock.

#ABigTopicAtHomeAtTheMomentIsIfBShouldBeRaisedVegetarianOrNot #IDoNotThinkItIsReallyADiscussionThoughAsTheConsensusSeemsToBeThatBShouldBeAtLeastFedFishForNow #ThisConversationHasComeUpAFewTimesInThePastButEveryTimeIJustGetAnnoyedByIt #IWouldRatherSheAteItLessOftenButAteGoodQualityMeatOrFishWhereWeKnowTheAnimalHadAFairlyDecentLife #IJustDoNotWantToFeedHerItAsIHaveBeenVeggieSinceIWas15 #IDoNotWantToTurnThisWholeEntryIntoAThingOnVegetarianism #IKnowThatItIsAHeatedTopicForALotOfPeopleAndIDoNotWantToHaveDiscussionsWithAnyoneElseAboutIt

I feel like I should mention it, but at the same time I do not want to hear anyone else’s opinion on it. B will be eating fish some point soon. I’m quite torn about it, but hey ho.

#IAmHavingFlashbacksToConversationsWithPeopleNowAskingWhyIAmVegetarianAndThenArguingWithMeAboutIt

Roll my eyes.

#TheCodingCourseIAmDoingIsGoingOkayThoughItRequiresALotOfBrainPower #IFeelABitLikeErghWhyAmIDoingThisButIAmNearlyAWeekAheadWithMyWorkAndThereAre4WeeksLeft

When things finally make sense I feel good, but when you’ve had a full on day and you know that at around 8pm you need to do your homework it’s not always the best feeling. I’m lucky to be able to do it though and it is interesting, and it makes sense to do it now while things are fairly quiet.

#AfterIFinishINeedToUtiliseMyEveningsWellAsIRealiseHowMuchTimeIDoHave

I said this last time, but I guess I did need some kind of break after moving and everything. I’d like to try doing some other art forms for fun.

#INeedToStartStudyingPortugueseAgainReally #IWatchKidsSongsInPortugueseWithBEspeciallyWhenIAmTryingToFileHerNails #AndIFeelLikeIAmAtLeastLearningSomeNewWords #ButIReallyNeedToWorkOnBeingAbleToHaveNormalConversationsWithPeopleAndNotJustBeAbleToSingAboutAnimals

Portuguese should be my priority though. I used to do half an hour everyday and it was good – it wouldn’t even take up my whole evening. I need to start doing my books again. I stopped before as when pregnancy pains got a bit too much I used my Portuguese time for more stretching videos.

#WellIGotMyHaircutAndItWasOddToLeaveTheHouseWithoutB #ItWasNiceToCatchupWithMyHairdresserThoughAsIHaveBeenGoingToTheSamePlaceSinceIWasATeenager

She was a little disappointed that I didn’t bring B, but it would have been difficult. She settled for seeing a few videos instead.

#IJustToldHerToDoWhatSheWantedToMyHairWhichIsWhatIUsuallySay

She didn’t even bother asking how I wanted it styled at the end as she knows I just tell her to do whatever. I think she likes that I am an easy client.

#BKeptLookingAtMyHairWhenIGotHomeAndWhenIPutHerDownToSleepSheWasTryingToPlayWithIt

I was surprised that she recognised me in a mask when I was going out. She is used to seeing me with my hair up, so she must have found it all a bit odd.

#MyHairHasNotLookedThisNeatAndTidyForALongTimeAndIGuessItWillBeAWhileUntilUntilItLooksLikeThisAgain

I feel like I shouldn’t put it up today, but I’m sure B will start pulling on it later and I will need to.


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Categories
Oh Me, Oh Mãe Oh Me, Oh Pai

My First Attempt At Barbering (28th June 2020)

Before

My First Attempt At Barbering (28th June 2020)

#ItHasBeenOver3MonthsSinceLockdownStarted
#TiagoHadNotHadAHaircutSinceWayBeforeThat
#HeHadBeenAskingMeToCutHisHairBeforeBWasBorn
#ButIWasNotVeryConfident
#AndILikedHisHairLong
#AsWellAsHimHavingABeard
#IUnderstandHeNeedsItCutWithHisWorkAndHimWantingToLookSmartInMeetings
#TheOtherDayIAskedOnInstagramAboutTipsForCuttingHair
#IThenIBoughtClippersAndScissors
#ToriSentADiagramAndAVideoForMeToFollow
#ItWasGettingLateLastNightButItNeededToBeDone
#IWasNotFeelingConfidentAtAll
#SoIStartedOffShyAndAwkward
#ThenBeforeIKnewItIWasGettingReallyIntoIt
#IFoundItQuiteTherapeutic
#IThinkHeWantedItABitLonger
#ButIKeptAccidentallyCuttingBitsShorter
#IWasDaydreamingAtSomePointAndNotReallyPayingAttentionToWhatIWasDoing
#ItIsFunnyHowQuickIGoFromBeingScaredToNotReallyThinkingAboutIt
#TheWorstBitWasTheFrontAsIDidNotWantToMessItUp
#AfterwardsIClippedHisBeard
#AndHeWentAndHadAShowerAndShaved
#HeLooksLikeADifferentPerson
#WeWereLaughingAboutHowHeLooks12WithHisGlassesOn
#AndHeSaysHeLooksLikeMichaelGove
#IThinkIWillBeCuttingHisHairInFuture
#IAmAlsoTemptedToCutAllMineOffButIProbablyWillNot
#IFeelLikeIHaveChangedALotInTheLastFewWeeks
#AndMyOldHairCarriesOldBadEnergyThatIWantToGetRidOfButIAmTooScaredInCaseILookStupid
#ICanThinkOfManyTimesInMyLifeWhereChangeHasBroughtAHaircut

After

My First Attempt At Barbering (28th June 2020) II
My First Attempt At Barbering (28th June 2020) III

Well I cut Tiago’s hair on 28th June, even though hairdressers reopened on 4th July. We were being careful about going to places and I think Tiago was a bit wary of going somewhere to get his hair cut.

I felt inspired after mentioning in an Instagram story that he needed his hair cut, and receiving a few replies along the lines of ‘do it yourself’.

There is an hour between the before and after photos.

Tiago says why couldn’t I have taken an after photo without hair all over him, but it was nearly 11pm when I took them. I’m surprised we got through it without B waking up and I think I just wanted to tidy up and go to bed.

He asked me to crop the first after photo so his nipples wouldn’t be on show, so I cropped the before too to make them as similar in size as I could for a side by side comparison.

#AndILikedHisHairLong
#AsWellAsHimHavingABeard

His hair and beard were both getting too long though… I thought it would be really weird adjusting to his new look, but it felt pretty normal straight away.

Usually when he has his hair cut I don’t like it as it has that just cut look about it – you know too neat. I think because I didn’t know how to give it that proper just cut though I liked it straight away. I’m definitely not great at cutting hair, but it wasn’t bad for my first attempt!

#ItIsFunnyHowQuickIGoFromBeingScaredToNotReallyThinkingAboutIt

I’m always nervous before doing things for the first time. I feel like this applies to all areas of my life, but more recently with having a baby. Everything I did in hospital I’m very comfortable with, but things I hadn’t done – breastfeeding lying down, washing her, bathing her etc – I’m either still building my confidence with or haven’t mastered yet. Everyday I’m getting more confident with mothering though.

#WeWereLaughingAboutHowHeLooks12WithHisGlassesOn
#AndHeSaysHeLooksLikeMichaelGove

We did laugh for a long time…

#AndMyOldHairCarriesOldBadEnergyThatIWantToGetRidOfButIAmTooScaredInCaseILookStupid

The feeling about the bad energy has passed. I also remembered that I have had a cyst on my head for over a year. It doesn’t look like it is going anywhere and my hair hides it a bit at the moment, so I don’t think I’ll be cutting my hair off anytime soon. A tidy up would be good though.

I’ve been going to the same hairdressers on and off since I was a kid. I’d love to get a haircut and show them B, but I think if I go I will have to go alone because of restrictions. Plus the chances of her sleeping through the appointment would be small I think – she’s capable of it but with timings and random factors it’s never guaranteed.

I feel inspired to book an appointment though (thanks blogging) and maybe they can just see B outside from a 2m distance?


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