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Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Hip Hip Hooray (25th August 2020)

Hip Hip Hooray (25th August 2020)
 
#WentToTheHospitalTodayForBToHaveHerHipsChecked
#SheHadToHaveAnUltrasound
#WeWereWaitingForAgesAndBWasGettingRestless
#IDidNotWantToFeedHerInCaseWeWereAboutToBeCalledInAndIWouldHaveToScrambleToGetReady
#IWasJustHoldingHerButICouldNotReallySeeHerWithMyMaskOn
#ButEventuallyIThoughtScrewItAsWeHadBeenWaitingFor30Minutes
#SoIFedHerButItWasHardToSeeWhatIWasDoingWithMyMaskOnAndSheKeptPullingItDown
#After5MinutesIThoughtTheyWouldCallUsThroughSoonAndItSeemedLikeSheHadDrankEnoughToTideHerOver
#SheCanDrinkALotIn5MinutesNow
#TheyCalledUsThroughAFewMinutesLaterAndSaidSorryforTheDelayAsTheyOnlyHadOneSonographerWorking
#SheWasMovingBetweenTwoRoomsWhileHerAssistantCleanedTheVacantOneToSpeedThingsUp
#SheSaidTheyUsuallyHaveAtLeastThreeWorking
#BWasSuperChillEvenWithTheUltrasoundGel
#TheSonographerSaidAllSeemedFineButWeGotSentToAnotherDepartment
#ADoctorThereConfirmedAllWasGood
#SheSaidTheyWouldUsuallyDoAnExamThereTooButBecauseOfCovidTheyAreNotAtTheMoment
#AndApparentlyAtTheStartOfLockdownYouWouldGoToTheSonographerAndGetSentHomeAfter
#ThenSomeoneWouldCallTheNextDay
#ButSheSaidItLeftParentsFeelingAnxiousWhichIsFairEnough
#IHaveNotBotheredStressingAboutItAsIThoughtWhatWasThePoint
#SheHasSeemedFineAndAll
#ButSittingWithHerForAnUltrasoundMadeItFeelMoreSerious
#SoIfIHadHadToWaitForADayItMightHaveBeenStressfulIfTheSonographerHadNotSaidHerHipsSeemFine
#ButAllIsGoodAndNowBOnlyHasToWearOneNappyAgain
#IStoleTheTitleFromATextMyDadSentWhenHeHeardTheGoodNews
#YesterdayWeWentToOurFirstRealLifeBabyClass
#ItWasSoNiceToTalkToAndSeeOtherMumsAndBabiesAndGetOutTheFlat
#ItWasWeirdRecognisingPeopleFromZoom
#BHadNotHadADirtyNappyForTwoDaysSoMyMumSaidToEatSomeLettuce
#IAmNotSureIfSheWentBeforeOrAfterIFedHerAfterEatingLettuceButSheHadADirtyNappyAnyways
 

That’s a bit of a blown out background to the left, but never mind. It’s the best I could do on my phone whilst wearing a mask, breastfeeding a baby in one arm and anxiously checking to see if B’s name was going to be called.

#WentToTheHospitalTodayForBToHaveHerHipsChecked

The appointment was a bit later this time, so we had plenty of time to get ready unlike last time.

#SheHadToHaveAnUltrasound

I was going to make some joke to the sonographer like ‘tell me she’s not pregnant’, but then I realised how messed up that sounded…

#WeWereWaitingForAgesAndBWasGettingRestless
#IDidNotWantToFeedHerInCaseWeWereAboutToBeCalledInAndIWouldHaveToScrambleToGetReady
#IWasJustHoldingHerButICouldNotReallySeeHerWithMyMaskOn

I fed her before we left, but she seemed restless like she might want a feed. I really don’t like the feeling of ‘I should probably feed her’ in public whilst not knowing how much time I have…

#ButEventuallyIThoughtScrewItAsWeHadBeenWaitingFor30Minutes
#SoIFedHerButItWasHardToSeeWhatIWasDoingWithMyMaskOnAndSheKeptPullingItDown
#After5MinutesIThoughtTheyWouldCallUsThroughSoonAndItSeemedLikeSheHadDrankEnoughToTideHerOver
#SheCanDrinkALotIn5MinutesNow

…And then you finally decide to feed and you could have just done it already and had lots of time. Yay breastfeeding. Yay parenthood. It’ll be less stressful when I can just give her a snack bar/anything and not have to worry about these situations.

#TheyCalledUsThroughAFewMinutesLaterAndSaidSorryforTheDelayAsTheyOnlyHadOneSonographerWorking
#SheWasMovingBetweenTwoRoomsWhileHerAssistantCleanedTheVacantOneToSpeedThingsUp
#SheSaidTheyUsuallyHaveAtLeastThreeWorking

After sitting down in the waiting area I reread the letter and it said to arrive 15 minutes early for any tests. We were at least 10 minutes early but I went to the department that the letter said first, before getting sent to the radiography department. Obviously by the time they called us our appointment time had long gone, but I knew it wasn’t entirely my fault now.

All the surfaces need to be wiped down because of Covid, so it was smart that they had two rooms set up. I felt bad for her though as it must have been quite intense. I was slow packing up after, but it gave her plenty of time to write her notes up so I felt less bad.

#BWasSuperChillEvenWithTheUltrasoundGel

Super chill. I just had to hold her on her side whilst she looked at one hip, and then do the same on the other side. Her nappy was around her feet and I was worried that she would poo on us. I’m sure it wouldn’t have been the first time it had happened in that room…

#TheSonographerSaidAllSeemedFineButWeGotSentToAnotherDepartment

She did pause a bit longer on the one that the doctor said was a bit clicky, so I was worried but she said they seemed fine.

#ADoctorThereConfirmedAllWasGood

She said she had a look whilst we were walking across and all looked good. I felt relieved. She explained more about it but I don’t really remember what she said and as only one parent was allowed in the hospital I can’t ask Tiago what she said either.

#SheSaidTheyWouldUsuallyDoAnExamThereTooButBecauseOfCovidTheyAreNotAtTheMoment
#AndApparentlyAtTheStartOfLockdownYouWouldGoToTheSonographerAndGetSentHomeAfter
#ThenSomeoneWouldCallTheNextDay
#ButSheSaidItLeftParentsFeelingAnxiousWhichIsFairEnough

Oh yeah, this is some of what she said. It’s so weird hearing how things used to be.

#IHaveNotBotheredStressingAboutItAsIThoughtWhatWasThePoint
#SheHasSeemedFineAndAll
#ButSittingWithHerForAnUltrasoundMadeItFeelMoreSerious
#SoIfIHadHadToWaitForADayItMightHaveBeenStressfulIfTheSonographerHadNotSaidHerHipsSeemFine

To be honest I didn’t really understand what the problem was and because she was so young I knew they would be able to fix it if they needed to. I got a bit nervous the night before, but nothing was noticeably wrong to me.

#ButAllIsGoodAndNowBOnlyHasToWearOneNappyAgain

It’s great being able to easily see if her nappy needs changing again, though the second one was a bit of a barrier that protected her clothes from getting dirty. Oh well.

(She had been having to wear two as the doctor said she had a clicky hip and it apparently helps. She also said that the hospital might tell us to do it. Maybe it helped or maybe it wasn’t necessary?)

#IStoleTheTitleFromATextMyDadSentWhenHeHeardTheGoodNews

Thanks Dad! I don’t think I would have thought of it. He did say hip hop hooray first though 🙂

#YesterdayWeWentToOurFirstRealLifeBabyClass
#ItWasSoNiceToTalkToAndSeeOtherMumsAndBabiesAndGetOutTheFlat
#ItWasWeirdRecognisingPeopleFromZoom

It was interesting to get a glimpse of what B’s early life would be like if there wasn’t Covid, though the class was outside…

I mentioned in my last post about getting a call from the children’s centre to see if we wanted to register for classes that they aren’t sure when they’ll be able to run yet.

#BHadNotHadADirtyNappyForTwoDaysSoMyMumSaidToEatSomeLettuce
#IAmNotSureIfSheWentBeforeOrAfterIFedHerAfterEatingLettuceButSheHadADirtyNappyAnyways

It might have just been a coincidence, but when she goes now I am really missing those double nappies!


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Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Second Family Portrait Session (16th August 2020)

I’ve managed to get a few posts of ahead of myself for now as I want to catch up soon and then write other posts that aren’t necessarily related to my project. I write most of it then add in other more recent things when I go to hit ‘publish’.

I’ve had a go with playing with a picture that obscures B’s face, but let’s see if I like it when I come to post this.

(I think it will do for now, but perhaps I will revisit the pictures that obscure B’s face at a later date and do something else with them – or maybe not.)

Tiago, B and me lying on the sofa
Second Family Portrait Session (16th August 2020)
 
#IHaveWantedToDoAnotherFamilyPortraitSessionSinceNotLongAfterWeDidTheFirstOne
#AndThatWasOnThe28thOfJune
#ItSeemsEasierToDoThingsIndividuallyThanAllTogether
#BSleptThroughTheWholeShootAndHasJustWokeUpNow
#SheDidALoudCryLikeSheDoesWhenSheIsDreamingInHerSleepButThisTimeItWokeHerUp
#WeUsuallyWakeHerUpToFeedHerIfItHasBeenAWhile
#ButTheOtherDayAndTodayItWasImpossibleToWakeHerToFeedHer
#AFriendCalledTodayAsHerBabyHadBeenAsleepAllDayAndSheWasConcerned
#WhichMadeMeFeelBetterAsBWasDoingTheSameThing
#TheyBothWokeUpAfterAWhileAndWereFine
#AHealthVisitorCameACoupleOfDaysAgo
#BHasPutOnMoreThanHalfOfHerBirthWeightAndHadNoConcerns
#SheSaidToRingOurGPForAPrescriptionForSomeCradleCapShampoo
#IRangAndTheDoctorHadNeverHeardOfTheOneSheRecommended
#ButWeGotItSoThatWasFine
#TheHealthVisitorAskedUsIfThereWasAnyDomesticViolenceInOurHome
#ItSeemsAnOddThingToSayOutLoudToBothOfUs
#SurelyItIsSomethingYouAskIndividuallyOrSomethingButIGuessItWouldBeDifficultAndIGuessSheHadNoConcerns
#SheWouldHaveUsuallyVisitedUsBeforeButItWasDelayedDueToCovid
#SheIsOnlyAllowedToVisitTwoHouseholdsADayWhereasBeforeSheWouldVisitThreeOrFour
#IRushedToThePharmacyLaterOnAsIWasWorriedTheyWouldCloseBeforeIGotThereButTheyHadExtendedTheirOpeningHoursSinceLastTime
#AMemberOfStaffPeeredInsideHerBassinet
#SheSaidBsEyeLookedSwollenAndIWasLikeYeahIKnowIAmMassagingItDailyAndItIsCommon
#SheSaidYeahItIsCommonAndThatBothHerKidsHadItAndIRelaxed
#TheOtherDayAManWasHoldingAToddlerAndSheSaidBaby
#SoIOpenedUpTheBassinetCoverSoTheyCouldSeeHerFromADistance
#ButTheGuyStoodSoCloseToMeThatIDidNotFeelAbleToTalk
#HeProbablyThoughtIWasReallyRudeButItFreakedMeOut
#IDidNotWantAFamilyPictureInOurUnderwearButItIsSoHotAndThatWasWhatWeWereWearing
#IWasNotPlanningToUseALightButItWasTooDarkToNotUseOne
 

#IHaveWantedToDoAnotherFamilyPortraitSessionSinceNotLongAfterWeDidTheFirstOne
#AndThatWasOnThe28thOfJune

Let’s see when we manage to do another one…

#ItSeemsEasierToDoThingsIndividuallyThanAllTogether

Well it’s easier for me to photograph myself when T is looking after B, but I often feel bad for making T be in my photos as I know it’s not his most favourite thing.

Lately I’ve been taking more pictures on my phone or quickly doing a shoot during the day when B is asleep and T is working.

#BSleptThroughTheWholeShootAndHasJustWokeUpNow (and) #IWasNotPlanningToUseALightButItWasTooDarkToNotUseOne

I felt bad using the light, but B didn’t seem to care at all about it. I tried not to take too many pictures and because her eyes were closed I guess it helped. If she had been awake I would have made her look away from the light.

#SheDidALoudCryLikeSheDoesWhenSheIsDreamingInHerSleepButThisTimeItWokeHerUp

I would love to know what she dreams about. When she was first born I used to joke that it was two milky boobs running away from her and she was trying to catch them…

She does cry in her sleep a bit. It’s weird/funny/cute when you check on her as you think she is awake and upset as she lets out a cry, but she is smiling in her sleep.

#WeUsuallyWakeHerUpToFeedHerIfItHasBeenAWhile

We try to follow a schedule where you feed her every 3 hours until the night. We’ve been following those schedules since she was born for feeding, but failing on the napping side. However this week I suddenly decided to work on making her take naps more. Next week I need to work on me taking naps, while she naps!

#ButTheOtherDayAndTodayItWasImpossibleToWakeHerToFeedHer
#AFriendCalledTodayAsHerBabyHadBeenAsleepAllDayAndSheWasConcerned
#WhichMadeMeFeelBetterAsBWasDoingTheSameThing
#TheyBothWokeUpAfterAWhileAndWereFine

I laughed in relief when she said she couldn’t wake her baby up. I’m not sure if it was the weather or what…

#AHealthVisitorCameACoupleOfDaysAgo
#BHasPutOnMoreThanHalfOfHerBirthWeightAndHadNoConcerns

I wasn’t worried about her weight as she is definitely growing and getting heavier. Apparently you can get your babies weighed in children centres but they’ve been closed due to Covid. I didn’t know this, someone told me. I feel like I don’t know much about how having a baby should be in a non-Covid time, which is probably for the best as I don’t feel like we’re missing out on things really. I guess I probably would have taken her to an exhibition, but I’ve only taken her to see work outside so far.

I think the local children’s centre called yesterday. They got my details and asked if I wanted to sign B up for future classes. I said yes, but they don’t know when they’ll be able to run again and it will be invite only. I think I am starting to realise what B is missing out on now, but luckily she is too young to know and we are making do.

#SheSaidToRingOurGPForAPrescriptionForSomeCradleCapShampoo
#IRangAndTheDoctorHadNeverHeardOfTheOneSheRecommended
#ButWeGotItSoThatWasFine

She said she usually prescribed a cream over shampoo, but said the health visitor must know that it’s good. Eventually she found it and sent the prescription through to the pharmacy.

#IRushedToThePharmacyLaterOnAsIWasWorriedTheyWouldCloseBeforeIGotThereButTheyHadExtendedTheirOpeningHoursSinceLastTime
#AMemberOfStaffPeeredInsideHerBassinet
#SheSaidBsEyeLookedSwollenAndIWasLikeYeahIKnowIAmMassagingItDailyAndItIsCommon
#SheSaidYeahItIsCommonAndThatBothHerKidsHadItAndIRelaxed

I was feeling a little judged, but was relieved when she said her kids had the same thing.

#TheOtherDayAManWasHoldingAToddlerAndSheSaidBaby
#SoIOpenedUpTheBassinetCoverSoTheyCouldSeeHerFromADistance
#ButTheGuyStoodSoCloseToMeThatIDidNotFeelAbleToTalk
#HeProbablyThoughtIWasReallyRudeButItFreakedMeOut

I still find it odd when strangers get so close. Maybe they don’t think I present much of a risk as I have a baby so they know I’m being cautious, but I don’t know about them.

#IDidNotWantAFamilyPictureInOurUnderwearButItIsSoHotAndThatWasWhatWeWereWearing

I’ve said this before and I’ll probably say this a 100 times, but I want this project to be a true reflection of our family life. Hanging out in our underwear has been a big part of it so far, though B does have a lighter baby grow on here. The general rule is babies should have one extra layer than you, but sometimes it is just nappy weather for them.

I bought the blanket at the end of my trip to India in 2017 for a commission. It had just been sat in a bag since then until after B was born and I started to nest.

I have a habit of buying nice things and being too scared to use them, but with the pandemic my mentality has changed a bit, and I feel like I should enjoy things as you never know what is around the corner.


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Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Armpit Fungus (6th August 2020)

I asked Tiago which picture he preferred out of two options and he said ‘you’re not posting about your armpit fungus are you?’ It’s awkward, but yes I am.

He said, ‘what has that got to do with motherhood?’
I said, ‘I got it from breastfeeding’. He didn’t seem to believe me, and I might not have done but I’ve never had it before in my life until now…

Armpit Fungus (6th August 2020)
 
#ThisIsProbablyMyMostGlamorousPhotoToDate
#PleaseMayIIntroduceYouToMyArmpitFungus
#BHadHerFirstSetOfJabsTodayAndIHadACheckUp
#YesWeDidGoLastNightForBsCheckUp
#TheWomanWhoDidMyCheckUpCouldNotDoBsAsSheHasNotDoneTheRelevantCourse
#WeGaveBSomeParacetamolBeforeHandLikeTheDoctorSaidToYesterday
#SheHadAnOralVaccinationForSomethingThenA6In1VaccinationInOneLegAndThenMeningitisBInTheOther
#TheDoctorSaidTheParentsUsuallyGetMoreTraumatisedThanTheBabies
#InMyHeadIWasLikeNahIWillBeFine
#ThenPoorLittleBLetOutAWailThatIHadNotHeardBeforeAndIFeltAwful
#IThinkWritingYesterdayAboutTheAwkwardnessOfBabyTalkMadeMeGetOverMyself
#AsIJustKeptTalkingAndTalkingToBAfterwards
#IWentToTheWaitingRoomWhereIComfortedHerAndFedHerALittleWhilstWeWaitedForMyAppointment
#IGotCalledInAndIShowedHerMyArmpit
#IProbablyGotItFromBeingSweatyAllTheTimeAsBreastfeedingSeemsToMakeMeSweat
#ShePrescribedACream
#SheCheckedMyStitchesAndIHaveABitOfScarTissueThatSheSaidMightSoftenInAFewMonths
#TheySnaggedABitOfSkinWhenTheyWereStitchingMeUpAndIHopeItDoesSoften
#ISaidIHaveBeenFeelingEmotionalAtTimesButIKnowItIsWhenIAmMyMostSleepiest
#SheSaidToCallIfItFeelsLikeSomethingThatIsNotSleepRelated
#AndThatBreastfeedingIsANaturalFormOfContraceptionButItIsAdvisedToUseAnotherFormToo
#YesterdayOneOfTheWomenWorkingThereSaidHatsOffToMeForBeingPregnantAndHavingABabyDuringThePandemic
#ISaidHatsOffToHerForHavingToLookAfterTwoKidsDuringItAll
#IHadNotBeenPregnantOrHadABabyBeforeSoIDoNotKnowAnyDifferent
#IWentToPickUpMyPrescription
#ItWasMyFirstTimeInAShopSinceMarchAsTiagoWentTheTwoTimesBeforeToPickThemUp
#IBoughtTwoBagsOfDiscountedPopcornAsTheyWere10PEachAndILoveABargain
#SoPopcornWasMyFirstPhysicalPurchaseThatITappedMyCardForInAVeryLongTime
#IBoughtThemMoreForTiagoButIAteABagWhilstGoingForALongWalkHomeWithB
#BSleptThroughMyAppointmentAndAllTheWayHome

It does just look like I want to show off my armpit hair. I still feel awkward about it and I can’t even remember how long I’ve had it for now…

Today B and I attended our first baby class in real life (not via Zoom). My two favourite nursing dresses are sleeveless and it was too hot to wear a cardigan, so I decided to try not to care about my hairy pits and put my arms in the air when required. Hopefully the other Mums were just too busy worrying about themselves and their babies, and I’m sure the teacher doesn’t care. I was on the end so random people walking by probably saw too, but oh well.

There are some things that I don’t talk about in my work, and there are also some things that I probably shouldn’t talk about but here I am talking about my armpits.

If I’m this self-conscious about my hair then I should probably get rid of it, but I don’t like shaving them and epilating is too painful. I’m fine if I’m not required to lift my arms above my head, but anyways…

#ThisIsProbablyMyMostGlamorousPhotoToDate

Yes, I do love sarcasm.

#PleaseMayIIntroduceYouToMyArmpitFungus

It’s not that interesting to look at sorry. It would be better if I had little mushrooms growing there – that would be really cool! Even better if I could fry them up and eat them. Yes, I do feel a little ill now.

#BHadHerFirstSetOfJabsTodayAndIHadACheckUp
#YesWeDidGoLastNightForBsCheckUp
#TheWomanWhoDidMyCheckUpCouldNotDoBsAsSheHasNotDoneTheRelevantCourse

Everything was initially booked for the same day, which would have been a lot easier. At least we had some practice in getting out of the flat in time for appointments though.

#WeGaveBSomeParacetamolBeforeHandLikeTheDoctorSaidToYesterday #SheHadAnOralVaccinationForSomethingThenA6In1VaccinationInOneLegAndThenMeningitisBInTheOther

The paracetamol was for the meningitis B as apparently it’s not very nice, and the oral vaccine was for rotavirus, which I don’t think I have ever heard of.

#TheDoctorSaidTheParentsUsuallyGetMoreTraumatisedThanTheBabies
#InMyHeadIWasLikeNahIWillBeFine
#ThenPoorLittleBLetOutAWailThatIHadNotHeardBeforeAndIFeltAwful

I think it was more the shock than anything else, but she soon got over it. I knew it was for the best, though it’s still hard to see your baby crying.

#IThinkWritingYesterdayAboutTheAwkwardnessOfBabyTalkMadeMeGetOverMyself
#AsIJustKeptTalkingAndTalkingToBAfterwards
#IWentToTheWaitingRoomWhereIComfortedHerAndFedHerALittleWhilstWeWaitedForMyAppointment

Oh yeah I don’t care about baby talking anymore. I think B is trying her hardest to talk back which is cool. It does weird me out thinking that one day we will be having conversations, but I can’t wait! I need to start improving my Portuguese so I will know what her and T are saying…

#IGotCalledInAndIShowedHerMyArmpit
#IProbablyGotItFromBeingSweatyAllTheTimeAsBreastfeedingSeemsToMakeMeSweat

I didn’t show it straight away, but I suddenly remembered about it and it was a good time to ask about it. I don’t know what I thought it was, but I wasn’t expecting her to say fungus.

Breastfeeding really does make me sweaty so I’m not surprised.

#SheCheckedMyStitchesAndIHaveABitOfScarTissueThatSheSaidMightSoftenInAFewMonths
#TheySnaggedABitOfSkinWhenTheyWereStitchingMeUpAndIHopeItDoesSoften

I guess something had to go ‘wrong’ as the birth seemed pretty straightforward in the end. Obviously the hospital stay was a bit rocky, but it feels like old news now.

#ISaidIHaveBeenFeelingEmotionalAtTimesButIKnowItIsWhenIAmMyMostSleepiest
#SheSaidToCallIfItFeelsLikeSomethingThatIsNotSleepRelated

I definitely have been better now that I have been working on my life balance and know when to take nap (if I can).

#AndThatBreastfeedingIsANaturalFormOfContraceptionButItIsAdvisedToUseAnotherFormToo

Like I have said before I wouldn’t take any chances after a woman opposite me in the ward had a newborn and a 10-month old baby, and she was breastfeeding.

#YesterdayOneOfTheWomenWorkingThereSaidHatsOffToMeForBeingPregnantAndHavingABabyDuringThePandemic
#ISaidHatsOffToHerForHavingToLookAfterTwoKidsDuringItAll
#IHadNotBeenPregnantOrHadABabyBeforeSoIDoNotKnowAnyDifferent

She said she was getting broody by looking at B, but wouldn’t want to be pregnant now as she knows what it is like to not be pregnant during a pandemic. Major respect to anyone who had to look after their kids 24/7 whilst getting on with the rest of their lives at home.

I guess if I am ever pregnant again it will be a different experience, though who knows it might not be…

#IWentToPickUpMyPrescription
#ItWasMyFirstTimeInAShopSinceMarchAsTiagoWentTheTwoTimesBeforeToPickThemUp
#IBoughtTwoBagsOfDiscountedPopcornAsTheyWere10PEachAndILoveABargain
#SoPopcornWasMyFirstPhysicalPurchaseThatITappedMyCardForInAVeryLongTime
#IBoughtThemMoreForTiagoButIAteABagWhilstGoingForALongWalkHomeWithB

I really miss going to the supermarket and it was the closest thing to being in one. I went again to get another prescription recently and I bought more discounted food – I can’t help it, I love a bargain! I got chocolate bars and flapjacks. I know, super healthy choices.

It’s nice to have an excuse to talk to strangers and pretend that the world is semi-normal even if we are all wearing masks.

Today it was lovely to just be around so many other Mums and their babies. We met a few people who I’ve only spoken to via WhatsApp and Zoom, so it was nice to finally meet them in real life and have conversations. It’s good to get outside and just feel like life is somewhat ‘normal’ at times.

#BSleptThroughMyAppointmentAndAllTheWayHome

Lucky me! She doesn’t always sleep when I want her to, but when she does it really is great!


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Oh Me, Oh Mãe

My First Time Breastfeeding In Public (5th August 2020)

My First Time Breastfeeding In Public (5th August 2020)
 
#IDidItIFinallyBreastfedInPublic
#WellItWasTheWaitingRoomOfTheDoctorsAfterBsCheckUp
#AndNoOneWasThere
#TheReceptionStaffWereSittingBehindPerspexOrWhateverAtTheOtherEndOfTheRoom
#AndIUsedThePushchairToBlockTheViewJustInCase
#AfterAWhileIRealisedThatThereWasACCTVCameraOnTheWallToMyLeft
#Lol
#OhWellItIsQuiteDiscreetOnceYouGetThemLatchedOn
#IDoNotThinkBHadTheBestLatchButItWasTolerable
#SheFedFor6MinutesThenFellAsleepAndSleptInHerPushchairForTheNextCoupleOfHours
#ThatNeverHappens
#SheSleptThroughDinnerAndThenWokeUpOnceWeWokeHerUpForHerNextFeed
#ThisWeekItIsNationalBreastfeedingWeekSoIGuessItWasAGoodWeekToDoIt
#IDidHaveABottleOfExpressedMilkInACoolBagButIThoughtItWasMaybeMoreOfAFaffThanBreastfeeding
#TiagoSaysSheSeemsToBeABitMessierWhenFeedingFromABottleTheseDays
#IAmNotSureIfItIsJustHerGettingExcitedOrWhat
#TiagoSeemsMoreConcernedAboutItThanIAm
#IWillMentionItTomorrowWhenSheGetsHerJabsDone
#IfIRemember
#INeedToBuildMyConfidenceWithFeedingHerInPublic
#IAmSureIWouldHaveDoneItLoadsByNowIfThereWasNotAPandemic
#ButMaybeNot
#WhoKnows
#SometimesIGetStressedOutButSheOnlyHasVeryBasicNeedsRightNow
#SheIsCurrentlyLyingBellyUpOnTiagosChestHiccupping
#SheLooksQuiteSleepyButIGuessTheyAreKeepingHerUp
#SheHiccuppedALotInTheWomb
#HopefullyTheyWillStopSoonAndSheCanSleepALittle
#SheIsTooCute
#IStillCanNotBelieveThatWeHaveABaby

It’s not the best photo, but you get the point. The light from the window and me wearing a mask make it quite it dramatic.

#IDidItIFinallyBreastfedInPublic
#WellItWasTheWaitingRoomOfTheDoctorsAfterBsCheckUp
#AndNoOneWasThere
#TheReceptionStaffWereSittingBehindPerspexOrWhateverAtTheOtherEndOfTheRoom
#AndIUsedThePushchairToBlockTheViewJustInCase

It was a good first place to feed that wasn’t in a flat/house as it was quite private, so I felt confident enough to do it.

#AfterAWhileIRealisedThatThereWasACCTVCameraOnTheWallToMyLeft
#Lol

This did make me laugh. I’m guessing the video is just shown in the office section and it was all women there, so I just found it funny.

#OhWellItIsQuiteDiscreetOnceYouGetThemLatchedOn
#IDoNotThinkBHadTheBestLatchButItWasTolerable

Yes, the most nerve-wracking bit was getting her to latch on as sometimes she likes to come off a bit before starting to feed properly. Once she is feeding there isn’t much to see as she blocks the boob from view. I didn’t want to unlatch her and put her on again, but if it was more uncomfortable I would have.

#SheFedFor6MinutesThenFellAsleepAndSleptInHerPushchairForTheNextCoupleOfHours
#ThatNeverHappens
#SheSleptThroughDinnerAndThenWokeUpOnceWeWokeHerUpForHerNextFeed

We met up with Tiago after leaving the doctors and went out for dinner, which I talked about in yesterday’s post.

#IDidHaveABottleOfExpressedMilkInACoolBagButIThoughtItWasMaybeMoreOfAFaffThanBreastfeeding

Usually when we go out we take a bottle of expressed milk, but then if I feel up to it I breastfeed. Most of the time she sleeps though so the milk has had an unnecessary trip.

#TiagoSaysSheSeemsToBeABitMessierWhenFeedingFromABottleTheseDays
#IAmNotSureIfItIsJustHerGettingExcitedOrWhat
#TiagoSeemsMoreConcernedAboutItThanIAm

We mentioned this the other day and my Mum thinks she might be teething, as she is producing more saliva and is chewing the teat a bit. I think back to then though and she was just discovering her tongue and faffing about a bit.

#IWillMentionItTomorrowWhenSheGetsHerJabsDone
#IfIRemember

I forgot… probably because I wasn’t that worried.

#INeedToBuildMyConfidenceWithFeedingHerInPublic
#IAmSureIWouldHaveDoneItLoadsByNowIfThereWasNotAPandemic
#ButMaybeNot
#WhoKnows

I have done it a couple more times now. Once when we were out to lunch and another time at the park, but friends were feeding their babies too so I felt more relaxed. I would have probably been out more if there wasn’t a pandemic, but like I said, who knows?

#SometimesIGetStressedOutButSheOnlyHasVeryBasicNeedsRightNow

She needs to be fed, changed, put to bed, comforted, washed and played with. She sleeps for the majority of the day really.

#SheIsCurrentlyLyingBellyUpOnTiagosChestHiccupping

I think her favourite place (maybe not but she can’t tell us otherwise) is on Tiago’s chest; that’s where she does a lot of her tummy time.

#SheLooksQuiteSleepyButIGuessTheyAreKeepingHerUp
#SheHiccuppedALotInTheWomb
#HopefullyTheyWillStopSoonAndSheCanSleepALittle

I spelled hiccupped and hiccupping wrong. I put only one p for some reason. I should be better at spelling them considered she does it so much, but I can’t really spellcheck hashtags which is a bit annoying. It’s fine, I only have to correct the spelling in about 6 places when I realise. 👍

#SheIsTooCute
#IStillCanNotBelieveThatWeHaveABaby

I wonder when this feeling of ‘whoa, I have a baby’ will go away. I took a photo of B and I the other day, and it felt weird seeing myself with a baby. I’m feeling a lot more confident with looking after her though, which I guess you’d hope so by now…


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Oh Me, Oh Mãe

What B Sees (5th August 2020)

What B Sees (5th August 2020)
 
#IThoughtIWouldTakeAPictureOfHowILookWhenITalkToB
#YouKnowWithThatHighPitchedSingSongVoice
#ItFeelsABitAwkwardTalkingToBWhenWeAreOutAndAboutAlone
#TalkingToABabyWhoEveryoneCanSeeWillNotTalkBack
#ButSheWontBeTalkingBackForAWhileSoINeedToGetUsedToIt
#AtHomeIJustPullSillyFacesAndMakeUpSongsALot
#SheSmilesMoreNowWhichIsSuperNiceThoughItStillSeemsAtRandomTimesAndNotAtAnythingInParticular
#SheHadACheckUpAtTheDoctorsToday
#IWasNervousAboutGoingButWeWereTheOnlyOnesInTheWaitingRoom
#TheDoctorWasNiceAndIHadSpokenToHerOnThePhoneBefore
#ItIsSoGreatJustSendingInPhotosOfTheProblemAndNotHavingToWorryAboutGoing
#IHopeTheyKeepThisServiceForever
#AnywaysAllWasGoodApartFromHerHipClickingOnOneSide
#TheDoctorSaidSheWouldHaveReferredHerForItButSheAlreadyHasAnAppointmentAboutItLaterThisMonth
#ThatWasBecauseOfAReferralAfterBirthAsSheWasBornBreechAndIThinkAllBreechBabiesHaveThatCheck
#SheSaidToPutTwoNappiesOnBForNowAsTheyMightRecommendItAtTheAppointment
#TheDoctorApologisedForTalkingToBInTheSingSongBabyVoice
#ISaidNoNeedToApologise
#IHadAlreadyPlannedToDoThisShootBeforeWeWentToTheDoctorsButIfNotMaybeHerCommentWouldHaveMadeMeThinkAboutTakingAPhotoLikeThis
#AtTheDoctorsBWouldNotHaveSeenUsDoingTheWideMouthKindOfLookThoughAsWeWereWearingMasks
#TheDoctorSaidThatBIsTheMostAlert8WeekOldSheHasEverSeenButIAmSureSheSaysThatAboutAllTheBabies
#AfterwardsIBreastfedHerForTheFirstTimeInPublic
#ITookAPictureToMarkTheOccasionSoIMadeADifferentSetOfHashtagsForThatImage
#WeGotAPrescriptionForBabyParacetamolToGiveHerBeforeHerJabsTomorrow
#ThenWeWentOutForDinnerAgainToMakeTheMostOfTheGovernmentsEatOutOutToHelpOutScheme
#WeTryToChoosePlacesThatHaveALotOfSpaceAndWhereWeWillFeelMoreComfortable
#BSleptThroughItLikeSheDidLastNight
#IAmSureSheWillBeAwakeNextTimeButINeedToBuildUpMyConfidenceWithFeedingHerInPublic
#IHaveSaidBeforeThatIDoNotWantToGetChangedOrChangeMyAppearanceForTheseShoots
#SoIKeptMySunglassesOnMyHeadAsIWasStillWearingThemFromOurTripOutWhilstSettingUp

#IThoughtIWouldTakeAPictureOfHowILookWhenITalkToB
#YouKnowWithThatHighPitchedSingSongVoice

You know the voice. The one you talk to babies and animals with…

#ItFeelsABitAwkwardTalkingToBWhenWeAreOutAndAboutAlone
#TalkingToABabyWhoEveryoneCanSeeWillNotTalkBack
#ButSheWontBeTalkingBackForAWhileSoINeedToGetUsedToIt

I said that, but she actually is quite talkative in her own way. I made a video of her trying to sing yesterday, which is quite cute. She won’t be ‘talking talking’ for a long while, but she is already definitely trying.

#AtHomeIJustPullSillyFacesAndMakeUpSongsALot

I’ve posted a couple of songs (Milky Milky Moos and You’re My Baby) to my Instagram account. I should probably do another one soon…

#SheSmilesMoreNowWhichIsSuperNiceThoughItStillSeemsAtRandomTimesAndNotAtAnythingInParticular

She definitely smiles with a purpose now, which is really nice. She seems to smile more in the mornings, but maybe we are just imagining it.

#SheHadACheckUpAtTheDoctorsToday
#IWasNervousAboutGoingButWeWereTheOnlyOnesInTheWaitingRoom

It makes sense that places lock their doors to stop random people walking in, but I was awkwardly stood outside pressing a doorbell wondering if I had to call a number instead. Someone came to the door after a little while.

#TheDoctorWasNiceAndIHadSpokenToHerOnThePhoneBefore
#ItIsSoGreatJustSendingInPhotosOfTheProblemAndNotHavingToWorryAboutGoing
#IHopeTheyKeepThisServiceForever

I have mentioned this a few times already, but I really hope they do keep it. It’s super convenient and saves so much time.

#AnywaysAllWasGoodApartFromHerHipClickingOnOneSide
#TheDoctorSaidSheWouldHaveReferredHerForItButSheAlreadyHasAnAppointmentAboutItLaterThisMonth
#ThatWasBecauseOfAReferralAfterBirthAsSheWasBornBreechAndIThinkAllBreechBabiesHaveThatCheck
#SheSaidToPutTwoNappiesOnBForNowAsTheyMightRecommendItAtTheAppointment

Perhaps I should be more concerned about all of this, but I don’t see the point in getting stressed about it yet. I originally thought the appointment was the week after, but that was actually for her positional talipes (more commonly known as clubfoot – all was fine and she doesn’t need to be seen about it again). Hopefully because she will have been wearing double nappies for a few weeks by the time of her appointment it may have made a difference. I’m not entirely sure what it does, but looking online it might help the hip socket heal/put the hip back in the socket properly?

#TheDoctorApologisedForTalkingToBInTheSingSongBabyVoice
#ISaidNoNeedToApologise
#IHadAlreadyPlannedToDoThisShootBeforeWeWentToTheDoctorsButIfNotMaybeHerCommentWouldHaveMadeMeThinkAboutTakingAPhotoLikeThis

It’s quite funny seeing strangers interact with B, but it’s cute. It’s nice for her to get used to being around new people in a time when it is all a bit awkward.

#AtTheDoctorsBWouldNotHaveSeenUsDoingTheWideMouthKindOfLookThoughAsWeWereWearingMasks

I love when I smile at someone and then remember I’m wearing a mask, so they probably can’t tell. I wondered if the masks scare B, but they don’t seem to bother her. I guess she’s too young to care.

#TheDoctorSaidThatBIsTheMostAlert8WeekOldSheHasEverSeenButIAmSureSheSaysThatAboutAllTheBabies

Maybe, maybe not. I sometimes forget how young she is as she does seem older, but then again I don’t have much knowledge about young babies. I like that she spends a good amount of time awake and just chilling/daydreaming.

#AfterwardsIBreastfedHerForTheFirstTimeInPublic
#ITookAPictureToMarkTheOccasionSoIMadeADifferentSetOfHashtagsForThatImage

I was going to include it in this post, but I’ll save that fun for the next one.

#WeGotAPrescriptionForBabyParacetamolToGiveHerBeforeHerJabsTomorrow

Tiago was coming to meet us so he went and got the prescription. I still hadn’t been in a shop since March at this point.

They said to give her some before the appointment and then 4-6 hours afterwards.

#ThenWeWentOutForDinnerAgainToMakeTheMostOfTheGovernmentsEatOutOutToHelpOutScheme
#WeTryToChoosePlacesThatHaveALotOfSpaceAndWhereWeWillFeelMoreComfortable
#BSleptThroughItLikeSheDidLastNight

We went somewhere that had an outdoor area that was sheltered. It seems like some tables are quite close to others, but so far we have been quite lucky and sat a bit more to ourselves.

With her being asleep though I start to get a bit stressed towards the end as what if she wakes up just as we are about to leave? If she wakes up at the beginning or in the middle-ish it wouldn’t be so bad. We’ll deal with it when we get there though.

#IAmSureSheWillBeAwakeNextTimeButINeedToBuildUpMyConfidenceWithFeedingHerInPublic

Oh yeah she was, but it was fine and our confidence definitely got built a bit. She was awake for most of it and the service was slow, which was great as I gave us plenty of time to deal with her needs.

#IHaveSaidBeforeThatIDoNotWantToGetChangedOrChangeMyAppearanceForTheseShoots
#SoIKeptMySunglassesOnMyHeadAsIWasStillWearingThemFromOurTripOutWhilstSettingUp

I originally chose a photo where my hair was quite tidy, but T and my younger sister both preferred this one. I then realised that this is a more accurate depiction of how I generally look – my hair is usually in a mess and rarely washed. Today I washed my hair and it was starting to matt underneath, so it looks like I will be brushing it more from now on…


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Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Baby Fingernails, Stubbed Toe (24th July 2020)

Baby Fingernails, Stubbed Toe (24th July 2020)
 
#IWasThinkingOfTakingAPhotoOfHerHandOnMyHand
#ButThenIRememberedThatIStubbedMyToeBadlyOnTheSofaLegYesterday
#SoIPutMyToeNextToHerHandInsteadObviously
#MaybeYouCanSeeHowBadlyICutHerFingerNailsLastNight
#NotBadForTheFirstAttemptReally
#IHadBeenFilingThemButTheyWereStillQuiteLongAndSharp
#AndSheHasReallyBadMilkSpotsAtTheMomentSoIDoNotWantHerScratching
#AndIDoNotLikePuttingTheMittenPartOfHerOnesiesOverHerHandsAllTheTime
#AsPerhapsSheJustWantsHerHandsToBeFree
#SheLikesToSleepWithHerArmsOutWideOrAboveHerHead
#ICalledTheDoctorsAboutHerSpotsAsTheyLookedReallyBadLastNight
#ItIsTheSecondTimeIHaveHadToCallTheDoctorsForHer
#TheFirstTimeWasBecauseHerEyeLookedSwollenAndIHaveToDoATearDuctMassage
#BothTimesIHaveJustHadToSendPhotosAndIHopeAppointmentsLikeThisContinue
#AsGoingToTheDoctorsForTheseThingsWouldBeSoStressfulAndTakeSoMuchTime
#IHadAQuickShowerThenTheBuildingsFireAlarmStartedToGoOffAsIWasGettingDressed
#TiagoIsOutAtWorkForTheSecondTimeSinceLockdown
#BWasAsleepAndIGotStressedOutThinkingAboutWhatINeededToDoToGetHerReadyToGoOutside
#NextTimeIWouldJustTakeHerAsSheIsAndGrabSomeStuffForInCaseWeWereOutsideForALongTime
#IWaitedAFewMinutesThenHeardVoicesInTheCorridor
#SomeNeighboursWereChattingAndACoupleWereGoingDownstairs
#ISaidIHaveASmallBabyAndIWasHesitantToLeaveTheFlat
#TheyProbablyThoughtIWasAnIdiotAsSurelyWithABabyThatIsMoreOfAReasonToLeave
#TheySaidTheyCouldKnockOnMyDoorIfEverythingWasOkayButObviouslyTheyWouldNotIfItWasNotOkay
#ISaidDoNotWorryIWillJustComeDownstairs
#IWasLookingForwardToMeetingSomeOfMyNeighboursAsIDoNotKnowThem
#IStartedToGetUsReadyAndThenItStopped
#TheGuyKnockedToSayNotToBotherAndIShouldHaveAskedHimHisName
#IHaveSeenHimOnceBeforeSoHopefullyIWillSeeHimAndIPresumeHisGirlfriendAgainSoon
#ThenIThoughtIWouldDoThisShootWhilstBWasStillAsleepOnTheBed
 

#IWasThinkingOfTakingAPhotoOfHerHandOnMyHand

I had imagined a nice, cute picture of her hand on mine recording the difference in size. I’ll have to do it some other time.

#ButThenIRememberedThatIStubbedMyToeBadlyOnTheSofaLegYesterday
#SoIPutMyToeNextToHerHandInsteadObviously

But of course I’m the kind of person who then stubs their toe and thinks that I should put it next to my baby’s hand instead. It doesn’t even really look that bad in the picture, but it got worse as the day went on.

I stub my toes quite a lot, though I thought I hadn’t hit it as hard as previous times but afterwards it hurt more. I had moved the sofa to do dance videos and there was less space to walk by it than usual, so obviously the one time I’m not wearing my sandals I kick the sofa leg. I usually hurt them on the bed or something. Perhaps it doesn’t look that bad because the bedsheet is more purple.

(My feet looks quite tanned compared to B’s hand. I guess I’ve been wearing sandals a lot and B isn’t in the sun very much.)

#MaybeYouCanSeeHowBadlyICutHerFingerNailsLastNight
#NotBadForTheFirstAttemptReally
#IHadBeenFilingThemButTheyWereStillQuiteLongAndSharp

I’ve cut them again since, but I think I did a better job that time; I need to start cutting them and then filing them. She’s started to grab me a bit more, so I probably should for our safety.

#AndSheHasReallyBadMilkSpotsAtTheMomentSoIDoNotWantHerScratching

Oh those milk spots. I said in my last post that in a few posts time I’ll talk about crying again. Well her skin problems were the main reason why I got upset…

#AndIDoNotLikePuttingTheMittenPartOfHerOnesiesOverHerHandsAllTheTime
#AsPerhapsSheJustWantsHerHandsToBeFree

I feel like I’m depriving her by putting them away all the time; I should only really do it when she sleeps. I haven’t used the mittens in a while though…

#SheLikesToSleepWithHerArmsOutWideOrAboveHerHead

So adorable. We did swaddle her more in the beginning and we thought about buying a swaddle rather than using a blanket, but we haven’t done it in a while either.

#ICalledTheDoctorsAboutHerSpotsAsTheyLookedReallyBadLastNight

She just said to use some cream if the skin feels dry and that milk spots are super common.

#TheFirstTimeWasBecauseHerEyeLookedSwollenAndIHaveToDoATearDuctMassage

She had probably been scratching it, but her eyes get gunky and I have to clean them a lot. Their tear ducts get blocked easily at this age. It seems to be getting bad again, so I need to keep doing this massage:

#BothTimesIHaveJustHadToSendPhotosAndIHopeAppointmentsLikeThisContinue
#AsGoingToTheDoctorsForTheseThingsWouldBeSoStressfulAndTakeSoMuchTime

I’ve mentioned how great doctor’s appointments are near me at the moment a few times on this blog (I’m sure it’s a similar situation in the rest of the UK, but I don’t know for sure). It must be better for doctors with less people missing appointments/being late, and like I said I don’t have to stress about leaving home. Speaking of stressed about leaving home…

#IHadAQuickShowerThenTheBuildingsFireAlarmStartedToGoOffAsIWasGettingDressed
#TiagoIsOutAtWorkForTheSecondTimeSinceLockdown
#BWasAsleepAndIGotStressedOutThinkingAboutWhatINeededToDoToGetHerReadyToGoOutside

Of course I had just gotten out of the shower and was getting dressed when it went off. I had never heard it go off before. I just kind of froze in panic. It would have been different if Tiago was there, but obviously he wasn’t. I just didn’t know what to do.

Do I carry her? Put her in a carrier? Put her in a car seat? Put her in the pushchair? Do I put her in a cardigan? Do I change her clothes? Do I bring a bottle in case I feel awkward feeding her? What if we are out there for hours?

#NextTimeIWouldJustTakeHerAsSheIsAndGrabSomeStuffForInCaseWeWereOutsideForALongTime

I should have just grabbed some stuff quickly, put it in a bag and sorted her out once we got outside. Hopefully I won’t have to worry about it again, but next time I’d just get us out ASAP as you never know if it’s real or not.

(Then perhaps too many unnecessary hashtags about me interacting with neighbours/wanting to interact with neighbours.)

I saw two next door neighbours once during lockdown and I wasn’t even sure if they were the neighbours I’d seen before. I don’t know if they noticed that I was pregnant. Were they surprised to hear a baby a few months later? The other next door neighbour/s I might have seen once but I don’t remember. I feel like the one I saw a bit moved out. It’s a shame as in London we knew one neighbour and I thought we would know more here. The day that we moved in we chatted to a guy who lived in our building and he seemed nice, but we haven’t seen him since. So yeah, I’d be keen to know our neighbours more.

The way we spoke to people in our last building was by looking after their post, because it used to get stolen a lot. Here it doesn’t seem to be a problem though…

#ThenIThoughtIWouldDoThisShootWhilstBWasStillAsleepOnTheBed

The alarm was going off right outside our door, so I was also worried about subjecting B to that noise. How she slept through it all I don’t know, but she did and we did a shoot. Hurrah!


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I Feel Like I Am Definitely A Changed Person – I Am Wearing Cleaning Gloves (1st July 2020)

I Feel Like I Am Definitely A Changed Person – I Am Wearing Cleaning Gloves (1st July 2020) I
 
#ISetUpABlogAndIAmNervousButTheWorstThingThatCanHappenIsNoOneReadsIt
#MyMainReasonForSettingItUpWasToShareMyBirthStoryAndBreastfeedingExperience
#AsAfterGettingHomeFromHospitalMyFirstThoughtWasToTrainAsABreastfeedingSpecialist
#IFeelLikeIHadNotHeardHowHardItWasUntilIHadBAndHadProblems
#ThenEveryoneWasTellingTiagoAboutHowItTook3DaysOrMoreToEstablishFeeding
#IDidNotReallyLikeTheWholeBreastIsBestArmyBefore
#AndNowAfterGoingThroughAJourneyWithItIDoNotLikeItEvenMore
#ICanSeeWhyPeopleGetDiscouragedAndGiveUp
#IWasInHospitalFor4NightsWithNoVisitorsAndHadNothingElseToDoThanPracticeAndLearn
#ThoughItWasFrustratingSeeingFormulaFedBabiesAndTheirMumsLeavingQuick
#ButThenBHadJaundiceSoThatPutASpannerInTheWorks
#ThoughIWasGladThatItWasDiscoveredWhilstIWasAtHospital
#IDoNotKnowIfIWouldHaveBeenConfidentEnoughToRealiseThatSheWasUnwellAtHome
#IGuessIWouldHaveNoticed
#SheNowHasASwollenEye
#WeHaveHadToCleanHerEyesEveryDayAsGunkyEyesInNewbornsIsCommon
#TheGPCalledMeBackYesterdayAboutHer8WeekAppointmentAndMyCheckup
#ItShouldBe6WeeksButGuessingItIs8DueToCovid
#TheySaidToOnlyBookTheAppointmentIfIHaveNoSymptomsOfCovid
#TheAppointmentWillBeIn5WeeksTimeSoThatMakesNoSense
#WellICanCallAndThenTalkAboutHerEyeAnyways
#IAmWearingGlovesInThePictureAsIAmDoingSoMuchWashingUpThatMyHandsAreSoDryAndSore
#InitiallyIHadHeatBlistersAndTheWashingWasMakingThemWorse
#IHaveBeenBreastfeedingMoreTheLastCoupleOfDays
#WhenHerLatchIsGoodItIsGreat
#ThoughMyNipplesAreSoreRightNowSoIJustExpressedAndTiagoFedHerSomeMilkFromTheFridge
#TheFeedingPlanChangesEveryday
#TodayWeWillTryBottlefeedingHerDuringTheDaySoICanBreastfeedHerDuringTheNight
#IMadeDanceVideosWithHerYesterdayAndForgotIHadStitches
#IDidNotBotherChangingHowILookedForTheShootSoIHaveOnWhatIWoreToBedLastNightAndBedHair
I Feel Like I Am Definitely A Changed Person – I Am Wearing Cleaning Gloves (1st July 2020) II
I Feel Like I Am Definitely A Changed Person – I Am Wearing Cleaning Gloves (1st July 2020) III

#ISetUpABlogAndIAmNervousButTheWorstThingThatCanHappenIsNoOneReadsIt

Tiago keeps asking me how many people are reading it. I have analytics, but I haven’t really been looking as this is a good diary for myself. I do hope that other people like it though and that things I share might be useful/reassuring.

#MyMainReasonForSettingItUpWasToShareMyBirthStoryAndBreastfeedingExperience #AsAfterGettingHomeFromHospitalMyFirstThoughtWasToTrainAsABreastfeedingSpecialist #IFeelLikeIHadNotHeardHowHardItWasUntilIHadBAndHadProblems

I talked about our story (so far) with feeding a lot in this post.

The feeling to train as a breastfeeding specialist has passed a little, but I think it is because this blog is keeping me so occupied.

#IDoNotKnowIfIWouldHaveBeenConfidentEnoughToRealiseThatSheWasUnwellAtHome

I have called the doctors for B 3 times now; once for her eye and twice for her skin. Since they’re all phone consultations first it’s so easy and less stressful than getting ready and going out all masked up. I’ve just had to send photos so they can see, but once they said I could come in if I wanted. We didn’t go but she’s been to the doctors for jabs, then her 8 week check-up, and she’s also had a hospital appointment for her feet. She was referred for her feet and hips when she was born, which were both because she was breech. We’re so lucky to have the NHS. (Yes, we need to protect it.)

A health visitor is coming to see us this week for the first time. She’s called at least once before, but this will be the first time meeting her face to face. Pre-Covid we would have already met her, and I think she would have come at around 6 weeks. B is nearly 9 weeks old.

I can imagine that it’s weird for people with a newborn who had a baby in non-Covid times previously. We currently only know about parenting during a pandemic, but I think we’re doing quite well.

My Mum and older sister got a lot of messages asking for help/advice in the early days, and a WhatsApp group of new mums that I’m part of is super useful for sharing and comparing. So thanks to all of them for their help!

#IAmWearingGlovesInThePictureAsIAmDoingSoMuchWashingUpThatMyHandsAreSoDryAndSore

Before B was born we thought we had everything we needed and then we just bought SO MUCH STUFF. I think opening packaging, removing tape and flattening boxes didn’t help my hands. I stopped using the gloves a few weeks ago (so yeah it didn’t last long). I need to get to it though as I am starting to hand wash more clothing (hello sour milk bibs) and my hands feel quite dry now. In B’s pushchair organiser I keep a bottle of hand sanitiser and a tube of hand cream…

#TheFeedingPlanChangesEveryday #TodayWeWillTryBottlefeedingHerDuringTheDaySoICanBreastfeedHerDuringTheNight

Again, I talk about this a lot in this post, but breastfeeding is definitely going better. I think my nipples are starting to harden up a bit (hurrah) and it really is easier just breastfeeding her in the night.

We are still bottle-feeding her a little in the evening so it’s easier to give her her vitamin D and so Tiago can spend more time with her.

Yesterday we went out for dinner and it was the first time that she’d been awake during a meal. She was super chill and the service was slow, which was great as it gave us time to go through her routine. Tiago changed her nappy as I was a bit nervous about doing it (because of Covid – I’ve been avoiding public toilets), but it was great as the men’s and women’s toilets both had nappy changing facilities. I’ve only breastfed once so far in public, so I need to work on that. Last night we both just fed her with a bottle.

#IMadeDanceVideosWithHerYesterdayAndForgotIHadStitches

This was a bit of a sore mistake. I was really into my dancing as well, though I was nervous about holding her head and making sure she was okay. She was awake a bit in the beginning then fell asleep…

Here’s one of the videos (I made 5):

Love this song. I loved it more once I found out it was to do with his baby and wondering what they thing about things. I wonder ‘what does B think about?’ all the time.

#IDidNotBotherChangingHowILookedForTheShootSoIHaveOnWhatIWoreToBedLastNightAndBedHair

This is also why you see a bit of bum (sorry). In the first pictures of the shoot I was just pulling my top down over my pants, and in these I think I am pushing my top down a bit with the gloves.

I like not changing my clothes for shoots now as it’s more authentic/honest. I’m usually just sat at home in my underwear or with no leggings/trousers on as it’s too hot, but it must have been a bit cooler this day. I keep a dressing gown by the door just in case it’s needed, though I actually haven’t had to use it in a while.

Here are all 3 photos side by side (if you are reading this on a big enough screen).

One probably would have been enough to illustrate it, but I like all 3 and they show quite well how I do shoots and the adjustments I make with my poses. Shame I’m not in exactly the same position in the first one like I am in the other two, but I didn’t think at the time that I’d be choosing 3 images.

To end the post I thought I should comment on the title of the images – I Feel Like I Am Definitely A Different Person – I Am Wearing Cleaning Gloves.

I feel like I have changed so much since giving birth and I took these pictures less than a month after she was born. I’ve always been fairly messy, but I definitely like things to be tidier and more organised these days.

I need to do a post/picture on all the ways that I have changed, but this was one small thing (wearing gloves that I need to get back to wearing).

I look forward to continuing to change and hopefully it’s all for the best.


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