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Oh Me, Oh Pai Pregnancy Waiting II

Tiago’s Second British Father’s Day (7 Weeks? / 20th June 2021)

Tiago sat on a beanbag with B on his lap. He is looking down at her, while her face has been covered with duplicates of Tiago's thumb.
Tiago’s Second British Father’s Day (7 Weeks? / 20th June 2021)
 
#IAskedTiagoAboutHowHeFeelsAboutBeingADadTheseDaysAndHeJustSaidGood
#AfterSomeMoreDiggingHeSaidThatHeNowUnderstandsHisPlaceInTheWorldAsAHumanMore
#IGuessBWillNotBeAsStillForTheShootAsSheWasAYearAgo
#SheWasBarelyAWeekOldWhenItWasTiagosFirstFathersDay
#NowSheIsJustOnTheMoveSoMuchAndSheIsStartingToTakeMultipleSteps
#TheOtherDaySheDidAboutSixAsSheConcentratedOnMyPhoneAsIMovedIt
#YesterdaySheWalkedFromTheKitchenIntoTheLivingRoomWithoutAnyPrompt
#TheOtherDayInHerBabyClassThereWereSomeBigFakeDogsThatTheTeachersBroughtRound
#BRanOffAndSheWouldNotTouchAnyOfTheOtherToys
#SheIsTheOldestByFarNowAndSoonSheWillSoonBeTooOldForTheClass
#SheWasRandomlyHuggingTheWomanNextToUsWhoWeHadNotSpokenTo
#HerSleepHasGotWorseButICheckedAndSheIsGoingThroughALeap
#SheAlsoHadHerOneYearVaccinationsThisWeek
#IWasSayingToSomeoneThatAtLeastThereAreNotSevenJabsButThereWereFour
#TwoInEachLegAndIFeltSoBadForBWhoWasObviouslyUpset
#TheNurseWasSayingThereUsedToBeThreeAt12MonthsThenOneOneMonthLater
#ButPeopleWereJustNotTurningUpForTheSecondAppointmentOrTheKidsWouldRememberTheNeedleAndBeScared
#YesterdayBWasAwakeLoadsDuringTheNightButPrettyMuchAwakeFromFourThirty
#SheAteAllHerBreakfastAtSixSoSheMustHaveBeenHungry
#IStillFeelABitThrownOffFromUsChangingFromFormulaToMilkButTheMainDifferenceWasIDidNotGiveHerYoghurtForDessertTheNightBefore
#SheUsuallyEatsQuiteABitOfItAndIGuessItHelpsFillHerUp
#TodaySheWokeUpAtTheSameTimeButIPutTheHeatingOnAndSheSleptABitMore
#WeHaveJustKindOfAcceptedThatWeWillBeAwakeFromFiveThirtyEverydayNow
#IHaveBeenSoTiredThatIHaveBeenAsleepByTenTheLastCoupleOfNights
#MySicknessComesAndGoesAndIHaveOnlyBeenActuallySickTwoTimes
#TwoOtherTimesIWentToBeSickButNothingCameUp
#IHaveBeenEatingALotOfCheeseAndTomatoSandwiches
#TheOtherNightIHadAReallyStrongCravingForRiceAndMangoChutney
#IFeelABitNervousAboutItAllButHopefullyEverythingWillBeOkay
#IDoNotThinkThereWillEverBeAGoodTimeToHaveASecondKidSoWeWillJustHaveToDoOurBest

#IAskedTiagoAboutHowHeFeelsAboutBeingADadTheseDaysAndHeJustSaidGood

This is why I’ve stopped asking him for comments for these things.

#AfterSomeMoreDiggingHeSaidThatHeNowUnderstandsHisPlaceInTheWorldAsAHumanMore

As the shoot is about his second Father’s Day I thought I needed to at least get something else out of him.

He’s a great Dad. It’s currently 06:38 and he’s up sorting out B’s breakfast, while I’m writing this. I did start writing before 6am but B went back to sleep for 10 minutes…

#IGuessBWillNotBeAsStillForTheShootAsSheWasAYearAgo #SheWasBarelyAWeekOldWhenItWasTiagosFirstFathersDay

Oh, what a year.

#NowSheIsJustOnTheMoveSoMuchAndSheIsStartingToTakeMultipleSteps

She.Does.Not.Sit.Still. A friend came to visit yesterday and we were sat outside with her just pushing her walker up and down.

#TheOtherDaySheDidAboutSixAsSheConcentratedOnMyPhoneAsIMovedIt

She was stood up and she was looking at my phone, so I just held it at her grabbing height and kept moving it. We were sat behind the sofa so Nan and T missed it.

#YesterdaySheWalkedFromTheKitchenIntoTheLivingRoomWithoutAnyPrompt

I was glad that Nan and Tiago saw it. Both times were early evening-ish, so her legs must have enough strength by then.

#TheOtherDayInHerBabyClassThereWereSomeBigFakeDogsThatTheTeachersBroughtRound #BRanOffAndSheWouldNotTouchAnyOfTheOtherToys

I was shocked as I thought she would have grabbed them. I guess she is getting older and some safety defences are kicking in? The teachers were saying some kids just don’t like cuddly toys, but I was surprised. I think she was having a weird day as at home she wouldn’t go near her toys either.

#SheIsTheOldestByFarNowAndSoonSheWillSoonBeTooOldForTheClass

There was a baby I hadn’t noticed before who was starting to crawl, but it was their last week. It’s just B and a lot of kids half her age. She enjoys it though – besides being scared of stuffed animals.

#SheWasRandomlyHuggingTheWomanNextToUsWhoWeHadNotSpokenTo

She did keep looking at the woman’s baby, but then she just crawled off, gave her a hug, then tried to go in her handbag. Classic.

#HerSleepHasGotWorseButICheckedAndSheIsGoingThroughALeap

Great.

#SheAlsoHadHerOneYearVaccinationsThisWeek

Great great.

#IWasSayingToSomeoneThatAtLeastThereAreNotSevenJabsButThereWereFour

I thought it would be one injection for some reason.

#TwoInEachLegAndIFeltSoBadForBWhoWasObviouslyUpset

I had to try to hold her still. Her legs are a mess at the moment. She obviously tried to escape my grasp 🙁

A woman outside was saying she has twins and one watched the other one have their injections and he was off.

#TheNurseWasSayingThereUsedToBeThreeAt12MonthsThenOneOneMonthLater #ButPeopleWereJustNotTurningUpForTheSecondAppointmentOrTheKidsWouldRememberTheNeedleAndBeScared

I guess they didn’t want to overload them, but it’s easier just to get them all done on the same day. Good job my Mum comes round to visit as I think B is fine, but she says to give B paracetamol as she has a bit of a temperature. I don’t even notice so I feel bad.

#YesterdayBWasAwakeLoadsDuringTheNightButPrettyMuchAwakeFromFourThirty

Oh the joys. I tried putting the heating on but that didn’t work much.

#SheAteAllHerBreakfastAtSixSoSheMustHaveBeenHungry #IStillFeelABitThrownOffFromUsChangingFromFormulaToMilkButTheMainDifferenceWasIDidNotGiveHerYoghurtForDessertTheNightBefore #SheUsuallyEatsQuiteABitOfItAndIGuessItHelpsFillHerUp

I really need to look at her meals and change things up a bit. She does seem to be getting into her milk though, but it’s always a bit weird changing from one schedule to another. Soon it will be normal. I think her sleep isn’t helped by the leap and vaccinations…

#TodaySheWokeUpAtTheSameTimeButIPutTheHeatingOnAndSheSleptABitMore

Then she was awake from 5:30, but I went in and told her to go back to sleep. We need to be more strict with only getting her out of bed at 6. Sometimes we cave at 10 to 6. Today we were being strict and she actually fell asleep from 5:55 to 6:05. I had got my laptop out to start writing, but when she went quiet I quickly lay down again.

#WeHaveJustKindOfAcceptedThatWeWillBeAwakeFromFiveThirtyEverydayNow

Even if we don’t get her up until 6 she will be awake.

#IHaveBeenSoTiredThatIHaveBeenAsleepByTenTheLastCoupleOfNights

I seem to wake up around 4 by myself and feel quite awake, but I always want more sleep. If B gets up at 6 then we try to get her to nap from 9 to 11. Sometimes she sleeps all of it, sometimes she doesn’t. I will usually nap for most of it if I do not have much on.

#MySicknessComesAndGoesAndIHaveOnlyBeenActuallySickTwoTimes

Hurrah. I don’t want it to get worse. It’s bad enough as it is.

#TwoOtherTimesIWentToBeSickButNothingCameUp

I was relieved. I didn’t like feeling sick, so I wanted to feel better but I didn’t want to actually be sick. I gagged a couple of times and felt better. Great.

#IHaveBeenEatingALotOfCheeseAndTomatoSandwiches

Toast. Butter. Cheddar. A couple of cherry tomatoes. It seems to be enough to take the sickness away and to leave me feeling happy.

#TheOtherNightIHadAReallyStrongCravingForRiceAndMangoChutney

I don’t really like rice so that was fun/weird.

#IFeelABitNervousAboutItAllButHopefullyEverythingWillBeOkay

Last night I was going from hot to cold lots. I probably had sat outside for too long on a not very warm day.

#IDoNotThinkThereWillEverBeAGoodTimeToHaveASecondKidSoWeWillJustHaveToDoOurBest

I do worry about it, but I would rather have a second one now than leave it a few years. All we can do is our best and I’m sure it’ll all be okay.

Feeling sick now.

And then I was sick 10 minutes later…

7 weeks pregnant with B comparison:

Self-portrait with a piece of tissue wrapped around my finger.
(Dragon Fruit &) Cut To Finger (7 and a half weeks)
 
#SoInMyUlteriorMonologueProjectThereIsAPictureOfMyHandsHoldingADragonFruitWithABloodyFinger
#TheReasonWhyUlteriorMonologueIsCalledThatIsBecauseIWroteHashtagsLikeThese
#ButIDidNotAlwaysWriteWhatIAlwaysReallyWantedToWrite
#IAmWritingTheseHashtagsAWhileAfterITookThePhoto
#ThereIsNoDragonfruitInThisPicture
#ButThereIsTheCutFinger
#AndIThinkInMyEarlyPregnancyIHadAccidentsWithKnivesACoupleOfTimes
#AndThisWasTheWorstTime
#SoInTheHashtagsThatAccompanyTheDragonfruitPictureIfIHadFeltAbleToTalkAboutMyPregnancyIWouldHaveTalkedAboutBeingMoreClumsyThanNormal
#IThinkItWasJustBecauseMyBrainWasElsewhere
#WhichItShouldNotBeWhenIAmHoldingASharpKnife
#ThinkingAboutBeingPregnantAndNotBeingAbleToBelieveItProbably
#SoIHadStartedThisProjectButIWasStillWorkingOnUlteriorMonologueAsIDidNotWantToStopPostingStuff
#ButIRealisedThatINeededToTalkAboutBeingPregnant
#SoUlteriorMonologueReachedANaturalEnd
#ButIBoughtSomeTimeOnInstagramByPostingArchivePictures
#WhichIHadThoughtAboutDoingForAWhileButItGaveMeTheTimeToDoItAsILetMyPregnancyProgress
#IThinkItAnnoyedALotOfPeopleByJustPostingArchiveStuff
#ButIHaveSoMuchWorkThatIForgetIHaveHalfTheTime
#SoItWasNiceToGoThroughItAll
#ButItTookALongTimeToDo
#WhichIsWhatIWantedButByTheEndIWasBeyondDoneWithIt

It’s weird seeing myself with such long hair.

This was just an odd addition to the project where I explained Ulterior Monologue a little bit, and about buying myself time on Instagram.

I have been doing ‘dumb stuff’ at times, but I think it’s from having a toddler and being tired. I still don’t like the term ‘baby brain’.

Self-portrait of my body with a small round plaster on my left arm and a scratch on my belly.
Failed Blood Tests (7 and a half-ish weeks)
 
#SoTheyTriedToTakeMyBloodAndFailed
#ProbablyBecauseItWas10amAndIHadNotEatenYet
#AsIHadBeenSickThatMorningAndItPutMeOff
#ItSeemsSoEarlyToBeTalkingAboutOptions
#WhereIWantToGiveBirthWhenItSeemsSoEarlyAndIDoNotKnowTheFullFacts
#TheMidwifeMentionedAHomeBirth
#ILikeTheIdeaOfItButImmediatelyIJustThoughtAboutTheNeighboursAndWhatTheyWouldThink
#LivingInAFlatWithNeighboursOnMostSidesAndUpAndDownDoesNotMakeItSoAppealing
#ButIDoNotHearMuchFromThem
#ApartFromOneNeighbourWhoCoughsLoudly
#AndOnceICouldHearOneVomitingThroughTheVents
#WhichIsWhatIWorriedThisMorningWhenIWasBeingSick
#TIsWorriedAboutTheRisksOfHomeBirth
#SoINeedToFindHimSomeInfo
#OtherPeopleHaveExpressedTheirDisapproval
#WhichUpsetsMe
#AsItIsSoEarlyAndItIsNotSetInStoneYet
#ButThatIsMyPersonalPreference
#AndIAmTheOneGivingBirth
#AndIWantToFeelAsRelaxedAndComfortableAsPossibleToDoTheJobThatPeopleHaveBeenDoingForThousandsOfYears
#AsICanNotBeBotheredWithBeingSuperStressedOut
#LikeISaidMyMainConcernIsTheNeighbours
#SoLetUsHopeForAShortLabourThatIsMidDayAndNotMidNight
#ButItMightNotHappen
#MaybeIWillGoToTheHospitalOrABirthingCentre
#ABirthingPoolIsAllIReallyWant
#AsIWillNotGetASummerHolidaySoICanPretendIAmInTheSeaWhichIsWhereIFeelMostAtPeace
#FingersCrossedThatAllGoesWellFromHere
#ItAllSeemsTooEarlyButTodayMadeThingsABitMoreReal
#IDoNotKnowHowIGotTheScratchOnMyBelly

I learned a lot from all the blood tests to know to eat and drink more this time, though due to Covid my first tests were delayed anyways. They didn’t even ask me where I wanted to give birth this time. I’m also less for a homebirth as we live with my Nan, but it would be easier with not having to worry about childcare for B etc.


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Categories
Pregnancy Waiting II

Portrait Of A Mother Of A Twelve Month Old (7 Weeks? / 15th June 2021)

Self-portrait sat on the floor with legs crossed. I have a hat on that says 1 on it, and I am holding the camera of a video monitor in my right hand.
Portrait Of A Mother Of A Twelve Month Old (7 Weeks? / 15th June 2021)

#ICannotAndCanBelieveThatBIsOneYearOldItHasGoneFastInSomeWaysAndVerySlowInOtherWays
#IWroteAPoemToCelebrateHerBirthdayButItIsQuiteRubbish
#HerNewTrickIsToGargleAllHerWater
#WeTookHerOutForLunchAndSheJustSatThereGargling
#WeWentToAWildlifeParkButIThinkTiagoAndIEnjoyedItMoreThoughItWasALotForHerToTakeIn
#TiagoIsBackAtWorkNowSoINeedToAdjustToNotBeingAbleToGoOffForNapsAllTheTime
#PoorTiagoIsMoreTiredThanBeforeHeHadHisWeekOffSoIFeelBadAboutThat
#IFeelKnackeredNowAndHopeIHaveTimeForAQuickLieDownAfterThis
#WeHaveStartedToGiveBGoatsMilkInsteadOfFormulaThoughWeWillChangeToCowsMilkSoon
#TodayWasTheFirstDayOfNotGivingHerFormulaWhenSheWokeUpAndIHadToGetOnWithBreakfastPrettyQuick
#MakingFoodJustMakesMeWantToVomitButINeedToEatAsOtherwiseIFeelMoreSick
#IAmSoBoredOfFeelingSickAlready
#IWasSickForTheFirstTimeTheOtherDayButIAmTryingToAvoidItAsIHateItSoMuch
#IWasHalfWayThroughMakingBsLunchOmeletteWhenIHadToRunOut
#TiagoCameToAskTheInstructionsToFinishItInbetweenMyGags
#ItIsEitherFeelHorribleAndBeSickOrFeelSickAndEatEvenThoughIDoNotFeelLikeItAndThenFeelBetter
#IMadeBABatchOfRatatouilleThisMorningAndItReallyMadeMeFeelIllDoingIt
#EatingBeigeFoodsGenerallyMakeMeFeelBetter
#IHaveBeenGettingALotOfCravingsForReallyVinegaryChipsAndMushyPeas
#LastNightBeforeGoingToBedICouldHaveEatenACheeseAndRedOnionWhiteBap
#ReallyWateredDownJuiceSeemsToBeANewThingThatIDesire
#IDoNotLikeEatingLateButIThinkIAmGoingToHaveToOtherwiseIWillProbablyStartBeingSickInTheEvenings
#WhyArePregnantPeoplePunishedByFeelingSickAllOfTheTime
#IAmNowSayingThatIAmSevenWeeksNowAsIDoThinkItIsMoreLikelyButIJustWantToBeFurtherAlongAlready
#TiagosLaptopScreenThatBBrokeAMonthAgoSuddenlyStartedToWorkAgainSoThatIsGood
#ThisPostIsSupposedToBeAboutBTurningOneButItIsMostlyAboutMyMorningSicknessAndTiredness
#InThePictureIHopeToImitatePhotosOfBThatITookToCelebrateHerBirthday
#IGotHerAHatThatSays1OnItThoughTheySentMeOneThatSaid3OnItAtFirst
#TheOnlyThingThatWouldDistractHerWasHerBabyMonitor
#AndSheWoreAOnePieceSoIWillWearTheOneIHaveStartedToWearAgainAsIKnowIWillNotGetMuchUseOutOfItThisSummer

#ICannotAndCanBelieveThatBIsOneYearOldItHasGoneFastInSomeWaysAndVerySlowInOtherWays

My little baby who could not support her own head is now one. What. A. Year.

#IWroteAPoemToCelebrateHerBirthdayButItIsQuiteRubbish

This post was initially just going to be a poem as of course it only has 30 lines, but I did not put it into hashtag form.

Here it is for the lolz:

B You Are One!

Oh what a year, oh what a ride,

But I am so grateful to have you by my side.

This poem is already cheesy and a bit cliché,

But I thought I should write something to celebrate your first birthday.

You were born during a pandemic in the year 2020,

We stayed in hospital for four days and I ate butternut squash curry aplenty.

Your Pai was relieved to see you arrive home,

Together is better than seeing us through the small screen of our phones.

You spent your first four months in Liverpool and saw lots of the river,

Nothing much was open so all we could do was walk and dither.

Then we moved to Birmingham to live with your Great Nan,

You like lots of books but a current favourite is This Old Man.

Here you’ve learned how to crawl, babble and eat,

I think soon you’ll be walking as you’re finding your feet.

You can say Dad and duck; you do like to go to the pond,

We’re trying to work out if you’ll be a brunette or blonde.

At your baby classes you like to wander and explore,

You bang your foot in time to music on the wood of the floor.

I like when you enjoy something and so clap your hands,

We hope soon you’ll get to visit friends in far distant lands.

Maybe we’ll get to go to Portugal and meet your family there,

When you sit on the swings you like to watch people and stare.

We look forward to seeing you develop and grow,

We’re learning a lot, there’s a lot we don’t know.

We still don’t know much about what parents should do,

But we’re making the effort to find out just for you.

We’re glad you’re here, you’ll always be our little B,

We love you so much and plan to do so permanently.

Here’s to your first birthday, what a year it has been,

You’re our baby, our bunny, you’re our little queen.

The End

(23rd August: I’d completely forgotten that I wrote a poem for B….)

#HerNewTrickIsToGargleAllHerWater

Great. Take a gulp. Gargle. Take a gulp. Gargle. And repeat until the whole cup is empty.

I think she has just woken up from her nap. Fail. I had the heating on as I thought she may be cold. I’ve just put it on again. I thought that I’d been putting it on in the morning, but apparently I haven’t been. I need to try that again as she keeps waking up at 5.40am and it’s too early… She seems asleep for now.

#WeTookHerOutForLunchAndSheJustSatThereGargling

Luckily two women by us found it funny. It is funny, but it’s a bit much after 20 goes of it. I guess she is clever for working it out though…

#WeWentToAWildlifeParkButIThinkTiagoAndIEnjoyedItMoreThoughItWasALotForHerToTakeIn

Most of the animals were hiding or napping, so I don’t think B saw most of them. We only got a photo of her looking at a komodo dragon.

#TiagoIsBackAtWorkNowSoINeedToAdjustToNotBeingAbleToGoOffForNapsAllTheTime

Boo hoo hoo hoo hoo. How will I cope with two kids? Though at least I won’t be feeling sick all the time. I think/hope the first trimester is the worst.

#PoorTiagoIsMoreTiredThanBeforeHeHadHisWeekOffSoIFeelBadAboutThat

🙁

#IFeelKnackeredNowAndHopeIHaveTimeForAQuickLieDownAfterThis

If B stays asleep… It’s looking unlikely.

#WeHaveStartedToGiveBGoatsMilkInsteadOfFormulaThoughWeWillChangeToCowsMilkSoon

I did some more reading about goats milk and I think we should just move to cows milk when her carton is over. Plus just having cows milk will be easier as we can use it with all her cooking.

She seemed unsure of the milk, but now I just make sure to warm it up a little bit. I gave her 100ml before she had this nap and she probably drank 80/90 of it, so that’s good. Yesterday she didn’t drink much, but it probably didn’t help that we gave her formula in the morning. Apparently it’s sweeter?

#TodayWasTheFirstDayOfNotGivingHerFormulaWhenSheWokeUpAndIHadToGetOnWithBreakfastPrettyQuick

She was upset and I thought maybe she was hungry. She got up at 5.40am. She had some water. She had breakfast at 7am.

#MakingFoodJustMakesMeWantToVomitButINeedToEatAsOtherwiseIFeelMoreSick

I make a tomato and egg omelette/scrambled egg thing for myself with garlic powder, pepper and oregano then bung it between two pieces of buttered toast. I just have to eat it slowly. I make it for myself after B’s porridge has been pancaked and the pan is still hot. Boring info.

#IAmSoBoredOfFeelingSickAlready

Boredd.

#IWasSickForTheFirstTimeTheOtherDayButIAmTryingToAvoidItAsIHateItSoMuch #IWasHalfWayThroughMakingBsLunchOmeletteWhenIHadToRunOut

I have days where I just feel sick all day. I have started a Puke Portraits II project, but I hope to just keep it to a very small number of images. I also can’t be bothered to spend the time writing hashtags and editing the images.

#TiagoCameToAskTheInstructionsToFinishItInbetweenMyGags

Lovely.

#ItIsEitherFeelHorribleAndBeSickOrFeelSickAndEatEvenThoughIDoNotFeelLikeItAndThenFeelBetter

A friend was saying the other day that when you usually feel sick you don’t want to eat and you don’t, but with pregnancy sickness you have to eat. Yep.

#IMadeBABatchOfRatatouilleThisMorningAndItReallyMadeMeFeelIllDoingIt

I was supposed to do it yesterday but Tiago was busy and I didn’t look for the passata well enough, and I felt too sick to make it so I didn’t bother trying much harder.

#EatingBeigeFoodsGenerallyMakeMeFeelBetter

Nan got some crumpets. Great. Mini cheddars seem like a good option at the moment. Crisps in general. I’m trying to eat more nuts…

#IHaveBeenGettingALotOfCravingsForReallyVinegaryChipsAndMushyPeas

Writing this and reading this makes me want them again.

#LastNightBeforeGoingToBedICouldHaveEatenACheeseAndRedOnionWhiteBap

Not feeling that so much now. My Nan bought some baps and made a cheese and tomato one before dinner yesterday. I could eat one of those now…

#ReallyWateredDownJuiceSeemsToBeANewThingThatIDesire

Water with a hint of something. Going to try elderflower cordial, though I probably should have asked for some ginger cordial instead…

#IDoNotLikeEatingLateButIThinkIAmGoingToHaveToOtherwiseIWillProbablyStartBeingSickInTheEvenings

Piece of toast before bed? Probably a good idea.

#WhyArePregnantPeoplePunishedByFeelingSickAllOfTheTime

Whoever/whatever invented pregnancy symptoms is a sod. Aren’t we punished enough with periods and menopause? Then we don’t get periods, which is nice, but then we have to deal with sickness. Sod. To those who don’t get morning sickness – you’re lucky!

#IAmNowSayingThatIAmSevenWeeksNowAsIDoThinkItIsMoreLikelyButIJustWantToBeFurtherAlongAlready

I just want to be clear of the first trimester already, and I want to get my jab. (I know I can get it already, but I do want to wait until 14 weeks like some countries suggest/are doing.)

#TiagosLaptopScreenThatBBrokeAMonthAgoSuddenlyStartedToWorkAgainSoThatIsGood

He came in showing me his laptop all excited. I was like ‘yeah the Google logo has always looked like that?’ Ahhh okay.

#ThisPostIsSupposedToBeAboutBTurningOneButItIsMostlyAboutMyMorningSicknessAndTiredness

Sorry love. I should have just made this post the poem and left my sickness until later in the week. I’m starting to feel a bit sick again now…

#InThePictureIHopeToImitatePhotosOfBThatITookToCelebrateHerBirthday

One hat. All in one outfit. Holding a video monitor. Looking quite serious.

(23rd August: I seemed to achieve it.)

#IGotHerAHatThatSays1OnItThoughTheySentMeOneThatSaid3OnItAtFirst

Well that will keep. Let’s see if I can find it in 2 years.

#TheOnlyThingThatWouldDistractHerWasHerBabyMonitor

We tried all the toys. T was getting frustrated. She liked the baby monitor and her room thermometer – things we don’t usually let her play with. I managed to move the thermometer out of the frame though.

#AndSheWoreAOnePieceSoIWillWearTheOneIHaveStartedToWearAgainAsIKnowIWillNotGetMuchUseOutOfItThisSummer

I suddenly remembered about it yesterday. I don’t remember wearing it last summer, and if things go to plan I doubt I will be fitting in it for much longer.

I’m going to eat some mini cheddars, then have a lie down…

7 weeks pregnant with B comparison:

A diptych of two full length images of me with my top pulled up to document my bump. In one I
I Have Nothing To Show Yet (7 weeks)
 
#ItIsColdNowSoIAmWearingExtraLayers
#IHaveNothingToShowYet
#OrMaybeIDoButIAmSureIHaveLookedTheSameAsThisEveryTimeIHaveEatenForManyYears
#IHaveLookedMorePregnantBeforeAfterOrderingAnIndianTakeawayAndNotBeingAbleToStop
#AtChristmas2018MyParentsThoughtIWasPregnantAsIWasWearingBaggyClothing
#AndIChooseComfortOverFashion
#YouKnowMe
#ThoughIWouldNotMindLookingALittleBetter
#IJustHateClothesShopping
#AndNowIsNotTheTimeToStartGettingIntoClothesMore
#BecauseTheyEitherWillNotFitMeForLongOrTheyWillNotFitMeAfter
#AGoodReasonForBaggierClothingThisWinterThoughIsToHideMyGrowingBoobs
#IToldAFriendThatIAmPregnantAndSheSaidSheThoughtMyBoobsLookedBiggerAndThisWasTwoWeeksAgo
#IHaveAlwaysHadAWeirdRelationshipWithThem
#BeingToldInHighSchoolThatIWasTwoParacetamolsOnAnIroningBoard
#AndBeingUpsetButAlsoNotCaringAsIWasLikeBoobsAreJustForBabiesAnyways
#AndTheIdeaOfMeWithBiggerBoobsWasJustWeird
#BeingToldByGuysThatTheyUsuallyDateGirlsWithBiggerBoobs
#Lol 
#ButIThinkBoobsBringAttentionAndIDoLikeToBeInvisible
#IReallyCanNotImagineMySelfHavingBigBoobs
#AndGoingOutWithThemOnDisplay
#NoOffenceToOtherPeopleWhoShowTheirsOff
#TheyLookGoodOnYouButTheyLookWeirdAsHellOnMe
#ThisPostHasTooManyBoobs
#NotSureIfIPreferBoobsOrBreasts
#BreastsJustSoundsLikeMeatRightNowAndThatIsMakingMeFeelSickEvenThoughIHadMeatCravingsYesterdayAndIAmVegetarian
#IThinkHowIFeelTowardsMyBodyDuringAndAfterMyPregnancyWillBeInteresting
#ParticularlyAsPregnantIsSeenAsBeautifulAndMyBodyGrowingIsForAGoodThingButThenAsSoonAsYouGiveBirthThereIsALotOfPressureToBeAsYouWereAgain
#IJustWantToLookAfterMyselfAndBodyAsBestAsICan 

B and baby X will be born in complete opposite seasons. In this diptych I am cold, but in my new photo I was quite hot.

I still look a mess all the time, so nothing has changed there. I feel like my boobs didn’t grow as quick this time, which I was kind of relieved about. They’re probably different from breastfeeding, but I can’t really tell.

I think my bump started to show a bit earlier this time, but it also may be just down to food. I seem to have a habit of doing shoots just after eating which doesn’t help.

I need to start eating better and exercising more again. I feel like over the last week I’ve let myself (and X) down a bit on that front. I’m trying my best…


Thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying my blog (and/or the work I make) please consider supporting me by ‘buying me a coffee’ on Ko-fi – thanks!

Categories
Pregnancy Waiting II

Mum Looks #1 (10 Weeks? / 11th June 2021)

Self-portrait of myself wearing a colourful top and shorts. I have a book tucked into the back of my shorts and a pig puppet hanging out of my pocket.
Mum Looks #1 (10 Weeks? / 11th June 2021)
 
#ThisIsHowICarriedAPuppetAndABookUpTheStairsTheOtherDayWhileHoldingB
#ThePuppetUsedToDistractHerDuringNappyChangesButNowALittleMusicalPianoWorksBetter
#TheBookIsTheVeryHungryCaterpillarWhichBLikesALot
#NotLongAgoIWasTalkingToAnotherMumAboutAnUpcomingBookFestivalWhereAuthorsWillReadTheirBooks
#IJokedThatAllOfBsFavouriteAuthorsAreDeadAsIThoughtThatEricCarleHadDiedALongTimeAgo
#IWasSurprisedAfterAQuickOnlineSearchThatHeWasStillAliveButThenHeDiedACoupleOfWeeksLater
#IWasSupposedToHaveMyFirstVaccineThisWeekButAfterALotOfResearchIDecidedToWaitUntilIAmInMySecondTrimester
#TheBabyDevelopsSoMuchInTheFirstTrimesterAndIAmFeelingSoSick
#TheyDoNotKnowTheLongTermEffectsOfTheVaccinationsOnUnbornBabiesSoIWouldRatherWaitABit
#IrelandSuggestsWaitingUntil14WeeksToGetTheVaccineAndIHaveSeenThatInAFewPlaces
#SoIJustNeedToBeCarefulAndTryNotToGetCovidBeforeThen
#InABabyClassTheOtherDayWeDidNotHaveToWearAMaskWhenWeWereSatDown
#AndInATakeawayAGuyWalkedInWithoutAMaskButIPlanToKeepWearingMineUntilIGetAVaccine
#IAmStartingToThinkThatMaybeIAmMoreSixWeeksPregnantThanTen
#IThinkIWouldHaveBeenFeelingThisSickForLongerIfIWasTenWeeks
#ButIWasAlsoSoConvincedThatIWasPregnantWhenIWouldHaveOnlyBeenTwoWeeksIfIAmOnlySixWeeksNow
#ItHasBeenGoodThatTiagoHadThisWeekOffAsItMeansIHaveHadPlentyOfTimeToRest
#WeHaveNotDoneMuchButThatIsFineAsIHaveBeenFeelingSoTiredAndSick
#BWokeUpAtSixFortyTodayRatherThanFiveFortyWhichWasABitOfARelief
#WeHaveSatInTheParkAlotAndTodayWePlanToGoToAWildlifeCentre
#IUpdatedHerBabyBookTheOtherDaySoItIsNearlyCompleteNow
#IFeelLikeTheSecondKidWillNotHaveSuchAGoodOneButINeedToMakeTheEffortToMakeSureTheyHaveSomething
#TheWombMustBeQuiteResilientToDealWithPregnantPeopleLookingAfterKids
#BIsAlwaysFallingOnMeOrUsingMyStomachAsASupportPost
#IHaveAlreadyHadMoreKnocksToMyStomachThanIDidDuringMyWholePregnancyWithHer
#LastTimeWhenIWasPregnantIGotALetterFromTheMidwivesAfterTwoDays
#LastNightIGotATextFromMyDoctorsSayingINeedToPickAReferralLetterUpFromReception
#IAmGuessingItIsToDoWithTheMidwivesButItSeemsWeirdThatTheyDoNotPostOrEmailIt
#WellIWentToPickUpMyLetterUpAndIHaveCalledTheHospital
#TheyHavePutMeDownAsSixWeeksForNowAndApparentlyTheyDoNotHaveABedForMeAtTheDueDateIfIAmTenWeeks

(20th August: This probably won’t become a mini-series, but maybe it should. I think my whole project is just Mum Looks – me looking dishevelled.)

#ThisIsHowICarriedAPuppetAndABookUpTheStairsTheOtherDayWhileHoldingB

I tried to take a photo of my look on my phone at the time, but it was hard.

#ThePuppetUsedToDistractHerDuringNappyChangesButNowALittleMusicalPianoWorksBetter

I think it plays about four tunes automatically and I seem to know which one is coming next now. (If I know which one is coming I should know how many it has, but I can’t be bothered to work it out.)

(20th August: It has four. Now I just use any tactic to get her to stay still. Earlier I was using her bath toy, but sometimes it’s a tub with the lid screwed on tight, or a book or anything.)

#TheBookIsTheVeryHungryCaterpillarWhichBLikesALot

I haven’t read it to her in a few days, which I am somewhat happy about as I need a break from it.

#NotLongAgoIWasTalkingToAnotherMumAboutAnUpcomingBookFestivalWhereAuthorsWillReadTheirBooks

I think a lot of children’s authors will be present.

#IJokedThatAllOfBsFavouriteAuthorsAreDeadAsIThoughtThatEricCarleHadDiedALongTimeAgo

She was a Mum at the park and we had a very brief conversation. She likes a lot of Pam Adams’ books and I just looked and she died in 2010…

#IWasSurprisedAfterAQuickOnlineSearchThatHeWasStillAliveButThenHeDiedACoupleOfWeeksLater

RIP Eric Carle. We like his From Head To Toe book too.

#IWasSupposedToHaveMyFirstVaccineThisWeekButAfterALotOfResearchIDecidedToWaitUntilIAmInMySecondTrimester

It was stressing me out, so now I am glad I decided to wait.

(20th August: I ended up getting the vaccine at 13 weeks after advice became a bit more consistent. I was also swayed by a talk by Pregnant Then Screwed and Viki Male, an immunologist. Here is the talk on Instagram.)

#TheBabyDevelopsSoMuchInTheFirstTrimesterAndIAmFeelingSoSick #TheyDoNotKnowTheLongTermEffectsOfTheVaccinationsOnUnbornBabiesSoIWouldRatherWaitABit

Research shows that babies are being born fine, but it is too early to know if there are long term effects and when is best to get the vaccine.

I’m feeling sick all of the time so I don’t want to get ill on top of it if I have a bad reaction…

#IrelandSuggestsWaitingUntil14WeeksToGetTheVaccineAndIHaveSeenThatInAFewPlaces

I saw on Twitter that a country (not sure which one) was offering the vaccine to women over 14 weeks. The UK and my doctor say all trimesters are fine, but I’d rather wait…

#SoIJustNeedToBeCarefulAndTryNotToGetCovidBeforeThen

I’ve managed it this far, but you never know.

#InABabyClassTheOtherDayWeDidNotHaveToWearAMaskWhenWeWereSatDown

I walked in and was like ‘why does everyone look different?’ After a while a couple more women walked in wearing them, but the teacher said we don’t have to wear them while sat down. I took mine off, though I wanted to keep it on. Next time I will as B runs off a lot so I need to get up and pick her up.

#AndInATakeawayAGuyWalkedInWithoutAMaskButIPlanToKeepWearingMineUntilIGetAVaccine

I shouldn’t let my awkwardness affect my personal safety. Maybe it’s unnecessary but I do not want to risk it.

I definitely will have a vaccine in my second trimester as getting Covid in the third trimester is quite dangerous for a pregnant person.

#IAmStartingToThinkThatMaybeIAmMoreSixWeeksPregnantThanTen

This ball of fun again.

#IThinkIWouldHaveBeenFeelingThisSickForLongerIfIWasTenWeeks

Looking at my Waiting project I was feeling sick at 6 weeks and by 8 weeks I felt really bad.

#ButIWasAlsoSoConvincedThatIWasPregnantWhenIWouldHaveOnlyBeenTwoWeeksIfIAmOnlySixWeeksNow

With B I had a period of two days, then it stopped so I thought it was weird, did a pregnancy test and I was about 4 weeks.

Earlier in the year when I was pregnant I had a period of sorts, then I was starting to wake up feeling sick and I was pregnant. About 6 weeks.

This time I had a normal period, then what seemed like a normal period, then a missed period. Then I did a test. I was feeling a bit sick before my missed period/or imagining things as I wanted to be pregnant. ?

#ItHasBeenGoodThatTiagoHadThisWeekOffAsItMeansIHaveHadPlentyOfTimeToRest

I am going to struggle when he goes back to work next week.

#WeHaveNotDoneMuchButThatIsFineAsIHaveBeenFeelingSoTiredAndSick

It’s been nice to just chill at home with T being available.

#BWokeUpAtSixFortyTodayRatherThanFiveFortyWhichWasABitOfARelief

Her heating comes on for a bit between 4 and 5, but it has been the last few days so who knows why she slept better today?

#WeHaveSatInTheParkAlotAndTodayWePlanToGoToAWildlifeCentre

Simple things. Hopefully she likes the centre today.

#IUpdatedHerBabyBookTheOtherDaySoItIsNearlyCompleteNow

Hurrah. I hadn’t looked at in a few months.

#IFeelLikeTheSecondKidWillNotHaveSuchAGoodOneButINeedToMakeTheEffortToMakeSureTheyHaveSomething

Or I need to change the way I do it. I’d feel bad if they didn’t have one.

#TheWombMustBeQuiteResilientToDealWithPregnantPeopleLookingAfterKids #BIsAlwaysFallingOnMeOrUsingMyStomachAsASupportPost #IHaveAlreadyHadMoreKnocksToMyStomachThanIDidDuringMyWholePregnancyWithHer

It freaks me out a bit when she touches my stomach, but I’m sure the baby is well protected.

#LastTimeWhenIWasPregnantIGotALetterFromTheMidwivesAfterTwoDays

Even though my Doctor said there was a massive delay with them.

#LastNightIGotATextFromMyDoctorsSayingINeedToPickAReferralLetterUpFromReception #IAmGuessingItIsToDoWithTheMidwivesButItSeemsWeirdThatTheyDoNotPostOrEmailIt

So it took longer to do the referral letter this time than it did for me to get a letter in the post this time? I know they’re busy. Maybe they thought it would be quicker for me to pick it up. It seems weird though. I’m going to go pick it up now.

#WellIWentToPickUpMyLetterUpAndIHaveCalledTheHospital

I guess they say to pick it up from reception now as the Doctors is operating more like in the ‘old days’ now. No having to wait outside for ages – the door was open.

I got myself a veggie samosa from a nearby shop on the way back and it was good.

#TheyHavePutMeDownAsSixWeeksForNowAndApparentlyTheyDoNotHaveABedForMeAtTheDueDateIfIAmTenWeeks

She said only I could say what date to put me down as. I said for 10 weeks. She said ‘well there are no beds left for then’. So I said to put me down as 6 weeks for now and we will have to see. If I wanted to be put down as 10 weeks a letter had to be sent to the higher ups or something, and maybe I am just 6 weeks. What a faff.

She said the first appointment will either be on the phone or in person. Last time they told me it would be on the phone, so things are changing.

(20th August: I was only 6 weeks here.)

6 weeks pregnant with B comparison:

Self-portrait of me sat with a purple scarf over myself. My left hand is just below my lips and I am gazing off and look deep in thought, though possibly just feeling sick.
Morning Sickness Is Not Only A Morning Thing (6 and a half weeks)
 
#SoTheSicknessComesAndGoes
#MorningSicknessIsSuchALie
#IAskedTheDoctorIfSheHadAnyTipsAfterIFirstWentWhenIFoundOut
#SheSaidThatMorningSicknessIsNotOnlyAMorningThing
#WellSheDidNotLie
#SometimesItIsTheMorning
#YesterdayICouldHaveBeenSickOverEverything
#LastWeekItWasMoreAnAfternoonThing
#ButSometimesItIsTheEvening
#SomeoneWasTalkingAboutWarmCamelsMilkTheOtherDay
#AndItWasMakingMeSoIll
#ThenILookedAtMyCollectionOfSoups
#AndJustReadingTheFlavoursMadeMeFeelIll
#ItIsSuchAWeirdThing
#IKnowThatNoOneReallyLikesToVomit
#ButIReallyHateIt
#IOnceProudlyCouldSayIHadNotVomitedInAtLeast10Years
#AndThenMyHousemateMadeMeSuperStrongRumCocktailsWhenIWasDoingMyBA
#AndThatWasGrim
#AndACharmingExBoyfriendTookPolaroidsOfMeByTheToilet 
#EvenThoughHeWasSickMostWeekendsBecauseOfAlcohol
#IDoNotKnowWhatHappenedToThosePolaroids
#BetTheyShowUpIn50Years
#Anyways
#YesterdayIHadStrongMeatAndFishCravingsEvenThoughIHaveBeenVegetarianForOverHalfMyLife
#CouldHaveEasilyEatenCodAndChipsOrATurkeyAndStuffingSandwich
#ThoughIThinkTheyWouldHaveMadeMeSick
#SoLastNightISettledForAVeganFishFreeBurger
#ItWasProbablyTheFirstTimeIHadEatenAFishBurger
#AndItWasAlrightButIWouldNotBeInARushToEatItAgain

Morning sickness is definitely a lie. With B I was generally sick in the mornings though struggled to eat anything at dinner except for pasta. This time I have been mostly sick in the evenings.

I didn’t like soup again this time and things like baked beans.

I haven’t had strong meat and fish cravings this time, though I’ve been taking double the amount of iron lately.

The bit about my ex-boyfriend taking pictures of me vomiting isn’t pleasant, but it’s true. Now I just take pictures of myself after vomiting…


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Categories
Pregnancy Waiting II

Imitating B Closing Her Eyes As She Knocks Down A Tower Of Blocks (10 Weeks? / 7th June 2021)

Self-portrait with my eyes closed. B's bricks are stacked up with 5 rows of 2 on top of each other with just one at the top. I am holding onto the top one with my left hand and pushing them.
Imitating B Closing Her Eyes As She Knocks Down A Tower Of Blocks (10 Weeks? / 7th June 2021)
 
#BHasBeenClosingHerEyesBeforeDoingLoudThingsForQuiteAWhile
#ItUsedToBeThatBeforeSheDroppedHerCupFromHerHighchairSheWouldCloseThem
#ILikeToSeeHowTallICanBuildATowerBeforeSheComesToKnockItOver
#TheBlocksBelongToTheWalkerThatSheHas
#SheIsGettingReallyGoodWithItAndSomeDaysSheWillJustKeepGoingUpAndDownTheRoomWithIt
#ThoughSheStillNeedsToLearnHowToTurnItRoundAsWeHaveToDoThatForHer
#SheIsAlsoGettingQuickerAtMovingAroundTheRoomWhileHoldingOntoFurniture
#IAmAlrightButJustFeelingQuiteSickForMostOfTheDay
#ITryToDrinkWaterRegularlyAndEatOftenButMaybeItIsMoreDownToTiredness
#BKeepsWakingUpAroundFiveFortyAtTheMomentWhichIsNotMuchFun
#IOftenWakeUpAtFiveByMyselfButWillThenFallBackToSleep
#TheOtherDayIReallyFanciedChipsWithCurrySauceWhichIHadAndItWasGreat
#ItMayHaveBeenACravingOrItMayJustHaveBeenANormalFoodFancy
#IfIWatchAnythingThatShowsFoodInItBeforeGoingToBedIGetSoHungry
#BSaysDuckALotNowWhichIsQuiteCute
#SometimesSheSeemsToSayYuckWhichIsFunny
#TalkingOfBirdsThoughHavingABlackbirdNestInTheGardenIsNotAsCoolAsIInitiallyThought
#AboutFourDaysAgoICouldHearLotsOfNoiseSoILookedOutTheWindowAfterAWhileAndIScaredAMagpieAwayFromTheNest
#IWasUpsetAndAssumedTheChicksWereAllDeadAndItPutMeInABadMood
#ISawTheParentsTheNextDayWithWhatLookedLikeFoodInTheirMouthButIThoughtThatMaybeTheyWereBuildingANewNest
#TheNextDayIWasNearbyAndIHeardCheepingThenSawABlackbirdFlyToTheNestAndIWasSoHappy
#ThenLaterThatDayIHeardMoreNoiseAndLookedOutOfTheWindowExpectingToSeeAMagpieButInsteadISawADeadChickOnTheFloor
#IDoNotKnowWhatHappenedButIHaveSeenNoActivityAroundTheNestSinceSoItMayHaveBeenTheLastChick
#NatureIsBeautifulNatureIsCruel
#TheDoctorCalledMeToAskMeQuestions
#HeHasPutDownMyLastPeriodAs6WeeksAgoButIReallyDoThinkIAmTenWeeks
#ThoughNowIAmStartingToDoubtMyselfAsWouldIHaveHadAPeriodSixWeeksAgoIfIWasPregnant
#IGuessItWillBeAWhileUntilIHaveAScanSoWeShallHaveToSee
#HeSaidItIsFineForMeToHaveAVaccinationAndNowIThinkUnderFortiesAreLimitedToWhichOnesTheyCanHaveAnyways
#HeWillReferMeToTheMidwifeServiceSoHopefullyIWillReceiveALetterFromThemSoon

#BHasBeenClosingHerEyesBeforeDoingLoudThingsForQuiteAWhile #ItUsedToBeThatBeforeSheDroppedHerCupFromHerHighchairSheWouldCloseThem

It makes me laugh, but I guess it is smart/sensible? Though it would be smarter if she covered her ears I guess…

#ILikeToSeeHowTallICanBuildATowerBeforeSheComesToKnockItOver

I will loudly count or say the colours out loud before she notices. It depends where we are as on some surfaces I can get it quite high, but it is a bit too dangerous so now I have to restrict it.

#TheBlocksBelongToTheWalkerThatSheHas #SheIsGettingReallyGoodWithItAndSomeDaysSheWillJustKeepGoingUpAndDownTheRoomWithIt #ThoughSheStillNeedsToLearnHowToTurnItRoundAsWeHaveToDoThatForHer

Some days we use it loads, some days we don’t. We should really be more consistent with it.

#SheIsAlsoGettingQuickerAtMovingAroundTheRoomWhileHoldingOntoFurniture

This morning she was going up and down the sofa pretty fast.

#IAmAlrightButJustFeelingQuiteSickForMostOfTheDay

I feel sick now. Fun times.

#ITryToDrinkWaterRegularlyAndEatOftenButMaybeItIsMoreDownToTiredness

I’m just at home most of the time so it means I can snack and drink well. I also eat breakfast earlier than I used to, which I am hoping might help but we’ll see. I am worried about going off my food like last time. Yesterday at dinner B was covered in food and it made me feel a bit sick.

#BKeepsWakingUpAroundFiveFortyAtTheMomentWhichIsNotMuchFun

The other day she had a two hour nap in the morning, yesterday she had forty minutes, so let’s see how well she naps today. I want to finish this then have a lie down…

#IOftenWakeUpAtFiveByMyselfButWillThenFallBackToSleep

This morning I could hear people outside at 5. I wasn’t sure if they drunk and still out, or maybe they were on their way to work.

#TheOtherDayIReallyFanciedChipsWithCurrySauceWhichIHadAndItWasGreat

Mmm.

#ItMayHaveBeenACravingOrItMayJustHaveBeenANormalFoodFancy

I fancy a lot of food at the moment. Hoping to get a falafel wrap today…

#IfIWatchAnythingThatShowsFoodInItBeforeGoingToBedIGetSoHungry

We’re been speed watching (1.25x if with Tiago or 1.5x by myself) some trashy stuff on Netflix, and if they eat I get realllllly hungry. I’m getting hungry now thinking about food and I had a good breakfast not long ago.

#BSaysDuckALotNowWhichIsQuiteCute

Duck duck duck duck duck.

#SometimesSheSeemsToSayYuckWhichIsFunny

I can’t wait until she says more.

#TalkingOfBirdsThoughHavingABlackbirdNestInTheGardenIsNotAsCoolAsIInitiallyThought

It’s been stressful/sad.

#AboutFourDaysAgoICouldHearLotsOfNoiseSoILookedOutTheWindowAfterAWhileAndIScaredAMagpieAwayFromTheNest #IWasUpsetAndAssumedTheChicksWereAllDeadAndItPutMeInABadMood

I had looked online to see if magpies will eat blackbird chicks and it said yeah. My Mum said there is less food for birds at the moment, so this also might be why.

#ISawTheParentsTheNextDayWithWhatLookedLikeFoodInTheirMouthButIThoughtThatMaybeTheyWereBuildingANewNest

Food or twigs? It looked like food.

#TheNextDayIWasNearbyAndIHeardCheepingThenSawABlackbirdFlyToTheNestAndIWasSoHappy

Sooo happy.

#ThenLaterThatDayIHeardMoreNoiseAndLookedOutOfTheWindowExpectingToSeeAMagpieButInsteadISawADeadChickOnTheFloor

🙁

#IDoNotKnowWhatHappenedButIHaveSeenNoActivityAroundTheNestSinceSoItMayHaveBeenTheLastChick

I felt bad. I was wishing that the blackbirds were able to communicate to me so that I would have been able to help them.

The pregnancy has been making me more emotional, so I really didn’t need a blackbird saga. The chick was a lot bigger than I thought it would be. I wonder if a magpie came, but then dropped it? I don’t know.

Luckily/sadly it was gone not long after, but I do not want to sit out there for a while.

#NatureIsBeautifulNatureIsCruel

I’ve really got into birds since living at my Nan’s house, but when I was pregnant I really liked to see the goslings, ducks and cygnets growing up by us in Liverpool.

#TheDoctorCalledMeToAskMeQuestions

I was worried that I would be waiting all day, but I had left some space at the bottom of my hashtags and I was starting to write my blog post.

#HeHasPutDownMyLastPeriodAs6WeeksAgoButIReallyDoThinkIAmTenWeeks

He said that I know my body better than him, but he has put 6 weeks anyways. I should have just given him the earlier date.

#ThoughNowIAmStartingToDoubtMyselfAsWouldIHaveHadAPeriodSixWeeksAgoIfIWasPregnant

The body is weird. Who knows. Maybe I am 6 weeks though.

(16th August: I was 6 weeks.)

#IGuessItWillBeAWhileUntilIHaveAScanSoWeShallHaveToSee

I am so impatient.

#HeSaidItIsFineForMeToHaveAVaccinationAndNowIThinkUnderFortiesAreLimitedToWhichOnesTheyCanHaveAnyways

‘If you’re under 40, you’ll only be shown appointments for the Pfizer/BioNTech or Moderna vaccines. If you’re 40 or over, you’ll be asked if you’re pregnant to make sure you’re only shown appointments for these vaccines.’

#HeWillReferMeToTheMidwifeServiceSoHopefullyIWillReceiveALetterFromThemSoon

I just read the hashtags from my pregnancy project that was not to be and it said he said to not expect to hear from them anytime soon, but I got a letter two days later. This time he didn’t say expect a wait, so we’ll see. Knowing my luck it will take 2 weeks.

6 weeks pregnant with B comparison:

The new picture doesn’t really show me pregnant as this project is a mix of pregnancy, and motherhood photos.

I'm lying on the living room floor in a dark pink top with my hair flowing down. My legs are bare and lifted off the ground with one foot supporting the other.
I Can Tell My Body Is Already Changing (6 weeks)

#WellWeHadBeenTryingToGetPregnantSinceTheStartOfTheYear
#WeHaveAWeddingToGoToInPortugalInJulyNextYearSoIThoughtWeShouldPauseThingsForABit
#ButTiagoSaidWeWereBetterOffTrying
#AndToBeFairIThoughtICouldNotGetPregnant
#EvenThoughIHadABloodTestAtOvulationOnceAndTheySaidAllWasGood
#SoIDecidedIWantedToBeLessStressedOutInLifeSoIStartedToMakeAnEffortToBeMoreRelaxed
#WhenMyPeriodWas4DaysLateIKnowSomethingWasUp
#SoIBoughtATest
#AndIForgotIWasGoingToDoOneSoIHadToKeepDrinkingWaterAndEventuallyIManagedToGetAResultFromTheDamnThing
#AndTheCrossCameUpPrettyQuickThen
#AndIWasNotThatSurprised
#IDidNotHaveMuchOfAReaction
#IWasJustRelievedToKnowICouldGetPregnant
#AndThenIJustGotRealStressedAboutWhatIfThingsGoWrong
#IDoNotKnowHowPeopleDealtWithPregnanciesPreInternet
#AnythingAndIAmCheckingIsThisNormal
#AnywaysICanTellMyBodyIsAlreadyChanging
#AndIHaveBeenFeelingSick
#MorningSicknessIsALieItStrikesAtAnytime
#ButItIsEarlyDaysForMeSoItIsNotYetThatBad
#IKnowINeedToEatMoreCalciumSoIAmIndulgingInCheddarOnSandwiches
#WasTryingToCutOutSugarButWasEatingChutneyAndPickleSoAmHavingMoreMarmiteThanThoseNow
#AndIAmGoingOffFoods
#LikeDaalOrDalOrDahlWhichWeEatAllTheTimeUsually
#AndMyFavouriteLunchOfASpicyBeanBurgerWithGherkinsTomatoesAndHoumousIsNotAsGreatAsItUsedToBe
#AndIHaveEatenThatWeeklyForYears
#AndIMeanYEARS
#AndICanNotDrinkMostOfMyLargeCollectionOfHerbalTeas
#AsEverythingHasLicoriceInIt
#SoItIsRooibosAndHoneybushEverydayForNowUntilIFindOtherOnes

I haven’t got back into drinking herbal tea since being pregnant with B, but I also drank more when I was in an office setting and I haven’t been in one of those since before England’s first lockdown.

We ended up having two weddings to go to, but one got postponed and one got cancelled (they’ve got married). I’m still stressed that things could go wrong, but B is a big distraction this time. She also makes time go by fast, though the days are long.

I have been noticing my body changes and of course I couldn’t help but notice the sick feelings, but it is different this time with having B around.


Thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying my blog (and/or the work I make) please consider supporting me by ‘buying me a coffee’ on Ko-fi – thanks!