Categories
Pregnancy Waiting II

Imitating B Pulling Her Hair (19 Weeks / 12th September 2021)

Self-portrait with my hair covering my face and I'm pulling pieces of my hair on the left and right side of my head.
Imitating B Pulling Her Hair (19 Weeks / 12th September 2021)
 
#BIsStartingToBecomeMoreAwareOfHerselfAndHerBodyIThink
#SometimesSheWillJustPullAtHerHairButNotInABadWayJustInAOohIHaveHairWay
#ShePullsMyHairInAHowMuchDoIHaveToPullThisToGetItToComeOutWay
#IGotBackFromLondonLastNightAndHadAShowerToDecontaminate
#IWentToBedWithWetHairAsIWasSoTiredSoMaybeItWillStillLookABitWildByTheTimeIDoAShoot
#IHadNotBeenAwayFromBForMoreThan6HoursBeforeAndInTheEndIDidNotSeeHerForAbout41Hours
#ILeftJustBeforeHerSecondNapOnFridayAndGotBackAfterSheHadGoneToBedOnSaturday
#IHadBeenExcitedAboutGoingButAsIPackedOnFridayISuddenlyFeltQuiteEmotionalAndSadAboutLeaving
#PackingForAnAdultForOneNightIsSoMuchLessWorkThanPackingForTwoAdultsAndAToddler
#OnFridayMorningTiagoEndedUpGivingBASpoonfulOfSlightlySoapyWaterInHerWaterCupRatherThanHerVitaminsSoIWasALittleNervous
#IHadBeenRinsingAnOldBottleForRecyclingAndMyNanMustHaveMovedItAwayFromTheDrainingBoard
#BsParacetamolIsSometimesPinkAndSometimesClearSoTiagoAssumedTheVitaminsMightBeTheSame
#ButInTheEndItWasFineAndTiagoSentMeVideosOfHimChasingAfterBAndHerCuddlingHerCollectionOfTeddies
#MyNanKeepsBuyingHerTeddiesButSheHasNeverPaidMuchAttentionToThemUntilThisWeek
#SheIsGoingThroughALeapAndHasChangedSoMuchInTheLastWeek
#ItWasHotTheOtherDayAndSheWasSatJustInHerNappySpittingOutHerWaterOntoHerChestAndRubbingItIn
#SheCouldNotSwimInTheSeaSoSheHadToMakeDoWithATubOfWaterOutsideButSheHadAGreatTime
#ButYesItWasNiceToHaveAnEveningAndDayAwayForMyselfAndToSeeSoManyOldFriendsAndAcquaintancesAfterSoLong
#IKeptThinkingThatEveryoneHasBeenCarryingOnAsNormalWhileIHaveBeenAwayLookingAfterB
#ButOfCourseThePandemicHasBeenDifferentForEveryoneAndItWasAStrangeExperienceForAll
#ILostMyVoiceAtOnePointAsIWasNotUsedToTalkingAndSpeakingLoudlySoMuch
#MyBumpFeltHeavyAtTimesFromAllTheWalkingAndStandingAndBeforeBoardingTrainsAndTubesIWouldRubMyBellyToShowIWasPregnant
#ItWasUnnecessaryThoughAsTransportWasPrettyQuietWhichWasNiceAndISatInThePregnancySeatsWithoutFeelingSuperAwkwardThoughIFeltALittleBitSo
#ThisWeekBHadHerFirstToddlerClassAndAtTheBeginningSheJustSatByHerPushchair
#IGuessItWasWeirdForHerAsSheHadGoneFromBeingTheOldestToOneOfTheYoungest
#SheHadAlsoNotBeenAroundSoManyYoungPeopleInAWhileSoItMustHaveBeenALotToTakeIn
#ItWillBeGoodForHerThoughAndSheWillLearnALotFromTheOlderOnes
#IAmHopingToJustTakeBabyXAlongToBsClassesAfterTheyAreBorn
#IAmTryingToMakeAnEffortToMeetMoreLocalMumsWhoAreAlsoPregnantViaThoseAwkwardMumApps
#MyThinkingIsTheyWillBeOnMaternityLeaveSoWillHopefullyWantToHangOutAndWeCanPassTheLongWeekdaysTogetherAtTimes

#BIsStartingToBecomeMoreAwareOfHerselfAndHerBodyIThink

She was already aware of it, but it seems like she is more so.

#SometimesSheWillJustPullAtHerHairButNotInABadWayJustInAOohIHaveHairWay

Maybe she is stressed sometimes, or maybe it is just something to do? It seems to be in a playful/toddler way.

#ShePullsMyHairInAHowMuchDoIHaveToPullThisToGetItToComeOutWay

Maybe she is just more aware of bodies in general. She likes to grab our noses more now.

#IGotBackFromLondonLastNightAndHadAShowerToDecontaminate

Put all my clothes in the wash, had a shower and washed my hair.

#IWentToBedWithWetHairAsIWasSoTiredSoMaybeItWillStillLookABitWildByTheTimeIDoAShoot

It looked WILD this morning. We took B for a walk and I don’t want to brush it, so I looked a bit of a mess, but it will have fallen out more by the time I get round to the shoot.

#IHadNotBeenAwayFromBForMoreThan6HoursBeforeAndInTheEndIDidNotSeeHerForAbout41Hours

Those 6 hours were in November…

On holiday the other week I did have a bit of time away from her, but I would generally see her after two or three hours.

It was T’s first time looking after B for a whole day, though my Nan was around and my Mum was about for a bit.

#ILeftJustBeforeHerSecondNapOnFridayAndGotBackAfterSheHadGoneToBedOnSaturday

So I did not see her until this morning.

#IHadBeenExcitedAboutGoingButAsIPackedOnFridayISuddenlyFeltQuiteEmotionalAndSadAboutLeaving

I did miss her while I was away, but I was also happy to see so many people and be reminded that I do have friends and know people.

#PackingForAnAdultForOneNightIsSoMuchLessWorkThanPackingForTwoAdultsAndAToddler

One small backpack. I packed way too many changes of clothes, but whatever. So nice to have a short packing list rather than a massive one.

#OnFridayMorningTiagoEndedUpGivingBASpoonfulOfSlightlySoapyWaterInHerWaterCupRatherThanHerVitaminsSoIWasALittleNervous #IHadBeenRinsingAnOldBottleForRecyclingAndMyNanMustHaveMovedItAwayFromTheDrainingBoard #BsParacetamolIsSometimesPinkAndSometimesClearSoTiagoAssumedTheVitaminsMightBeTheSame

He had given her milk and pointed to a glass and said ‘this is what is left of B’s vitamin water’ (we mix her vitamins in with her water as it seems easier than giving it on a spoon, though she likes it so she probably would take it from the spoon now). I was confused and said ‘it looks a bit clear’, but he mentioned about her paracetamol sometimes being clear and sometimes being pink. Her vitamins are a very strong pink.

After a few seconds it clicked and I could not stop laughing. I tried the water to make T feel a bit better. It couldn’t have been so bad as B had drank most of the cup.

#ButInTheEndItWasFineAndTiagoSentMeVideosOfHimChasingAfterBAndHerCuddlingHerCollectionOfTeddies

A good run around before bed – ‘I’m going to get you’.

A morning cuddle with three teddies.

#MyNanKeepsBuyingHerTeddiesButSheHasNeverPaidMuchAttentionToThemUntilThisWeek

It’s probably because before I put her down for a nap for bed I mention the three stuffed animals that are in her cot. Sometimes she cuddles them, sometimes she cuddles her water cup.

#SheIsGoingThroughALeapAndHasChangedSoMuchInTheLastWeek

She just suddenly seems smarter. She now makes it clear when she wants more water etc.

#ItWasHotTheOtherDayAndSheWasSatJustInHerNappySpittingOutHerWaterOntoHerChestAndRubbingItIn

Classic.

#SheCouldNotSwimInTheSeaSoSheHadToMakeDoWithATubOfWaterOutsideButSheHadAGreatTime

She loved it. One day it was so hot that I did not even bother drying her afterwards and she dried fast. Her skin felt lovely and cold.

#ButYesItWasNiceToHaveAnEveningAndDayAwayForMyselfAndToSeeSoManyOldFriendsAndAcquaintancesAfterSoLong

It’s just nice to wander around and recognise so many faces.

#IKeptThinkingThatEveryoneHasBeenCarryingOnAsNormalWhileIHaveBeenAwayLookingAfterB #ButOfCourseThePandemicHasBeenDifferentForEveryoneAndItWasAStrangeExperienceForAll

Big photography events and openings just haven’t been happening.

#ILostMyVoiceAtOnePointAsIWasNotUsedToTalkingAndSpeakingLoudlySoMuch

It was good to talk about photography and life with people in real life again. Apologies to anyone that I bored talking about family life to.

#MyBumpFeltHeavyAtTimesFromAllTheWalkingAndStandingAndBeforeBoardingTrainsAndTubesIWouldRubMyBellyToShowIWasPregnant

I haven’t stood up and walked so much in a while.

#ItWasUnnecessaryThoughAsTransportWasPrettyQuietWhichWasNiceAndISatInThePregnancySeatsWithoutFeelingSuperAwkwardThoughIFeltALittleBitSo

When I lived in London I’d never sit in the priority chairs so it felt weird, apart from getting the train to and from Brum. I love the single seats that face out, and I managed to get one of them both ways, so I didn’t have to sit next to someone without a mask.

I was disappointed how many people weren’t wearing masks on public transport in London.

#ThisWeekBHadHerFirstToddlerClassAndAtTheBeginningSheJustSatByHerPushchair

I had to put her by the mat and all the kids.

#IGuessItWasWeirdForHerAsSheHadGoneFromBeingTheOldestToOneOfTheYoungest

It’s nice to be at a more age appropriate class though, as the other one was getting boring.

#SheHadAlsoNotBeenAroundSoManyYoungPeopleInAWhileSoItMustHaveBeenALotToTakeIn #ItWillBeGoodForHerThoughAndSheWillLearnALotFromTheOlderOnes

It was a settling in class for both of us. Hopefully she will feel more at home next week, and we can try to meet some people.

#IAmHopingToJustTakeBabyXAlongToBsClassesAfterTheyAreBorn

Fingers crossed. Tiago can take B when he is on paternity leave, and then hopefully I’d feel comfortable enough to take them both.

#IAmTryingToMakeAnEffortToMeetMoreLocalMumsWhoAreAlsoPregnantViaThoseAwkwardMumApps

I’ve spent a lot of time talking to Mums over the last year, but not much comes out of it. It’s worse than dating.

#MyThinkingIsTheyWillBeOnMaternityLeaveSoWillHopefullyWantToHangOutAndWeCanPassTheLongWeekdaysTogetherAtTimes

Especially those who have an older kid as they will hopefully feel more comfortable going out. I’m not being picky though, I’d just like more weekday friends.

19 weeks pregnant with B comparison:

Self-portrait from my head to my knees. I'm dressed all in black and some of my hair is draped over my left arm, which is resting on my head.
The Other Day I Thought I Could Feel The Baby Moving (19 and a half weeks)
 
#TheOtherDayIThoughtICouldFeelTheBabyMoving
#ItFeltLikePopcornLightlyPopping
#ButAgainItCouldHaveBeenWishfulThinking
#TheNightBeforeIHadHadADreamThatINeededToFlushPeoplesRingsDownTheToilet
#OtherwiseSomethingReallyBadWouldHappenToMe
#ItWasASuperStressfulDream
#MeanwhileTiagoWasDreamingThatTheBabyWasCryingInItsCot
#SoHePickedItUpAndSangToItAndSettledIt
#AndThereWasAVeryBabylikeDollInTheCotToo
#BesidesFromTheCreepyDollItSoundsLikeAMuchBetterDream
#IHaveBeenFeelingABitBetterInTheLastFewDays
#IThinkTheCrampsWereProbablyTheBabyJustGrowingAndMyBodyDoingItsThing
#ButIAlsoThinkItMayHaveBeenTrappedWindAndThingsLikeThat
#CharmingButTrue
#ItHasBeenNiceNotGettingMenstrualCrampsForAWhile
#MyPeriodTrackerAppSaysMyPeriodIs111DaysLate
#MyCoughSeemsToHaveReturnedAlreadyWhichIsABitAnnoying
#PeopleAlwaysAskMeAboutIfIHaveCravings
#NotReallyThoughIHavePizzaToastInsteadOfCheeseAndPickleSandwichesWhenPossibleNow
#IThinkItIsMoreMeJustLettingMyselfEatWhatIWantRatherThanCravings
#IAmNotSureIfIMentionedItBeforeButOneDayISawAVanThatSaidWFSOnIt
#AndIWasLikeMmmWaffles
#TheOtherDayTiagoWasWatchingEvertonFootballHighlights
#AndTheirShirtsMadeMeWantCheeseAndOnionCrisps
#SoIGuessWeirdThingsTriggerCravings
#ThoughIDoNotUsuallyEatTheThingsIThinkAbout
#TheCravingsAreNormallyQuiteImpulsive
#LikeIWantItNowAndIfItWasEasilyAttainableThenIProbablyWouldEatItThenAndThere
#ThoughIAmTryingNotToEatTooUnhealthily
#INeedToEatMoreCalciumWhichIsWhyIDoNotFeelBadAboutEatingSomeCheddarEveryDay

I had forgot about describing kicks as popcorn popping. It just felt more ticklish this time and then quickly moved onto stronger movements.

My dreams have been intense lately (mid-October), but I don’t like when I have them as they tire me out.

I had a phase of being quite into vinegary crisps this time, but it passed. I have been enjoying beetroot and pickled red cabbage lately though (in a wrap with other things), and I did have a lot of vinegar on my chips at dinner today. But I was a fan of vinegar before being pregnant – I just usually don’t choose salt and vinegar crisps over other flavours though. Exciting stuff.

I have been making banana bread a lot lately and I put a lot of yoghurt on that, so I guess that’s my calcium sorted.


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Categories
Pregnancy Waiting II

General Documenting Pregnancy Shoot III (19 Weeks / 7th September 2021)

I'm kneeling on the floor in my bra and leggings. I am holding my arms behind my back. My bump is slightly bigger than similar photos I've taken before.
General Documenting Pregnancy Shoot III (19 Weeks / 7th September 2021)
 
#WeAreNowBackAtHomeSoICanFinallyDoTheThirdVersionOfThisPhoto
#IWouldHaveLikedToHaveDoneItSoonerAsTheGapBetweenTheOtherTwoWasFourWeeksAndNowThereIsASixWeekGap
#OhWellBetterLateThanNever
#ItWasNiceToBeAwayButItIsAlsoReallyGoodToBeHomeAndHaveAllOurStuff
#YesterdayIWasLikeANewWomanCookingAndCleaningLoads
#IThinkIAmDefinitelyNestingButWeWereAlsoTakingLivingWithMyNanForGrantedAndItIsNiceToBeBack
#IThinkIHaveAlreadyUsedUpALotOfMyEnergyAsThisMorningIAmJustSuperTired
#AtLeastIDoNotHaveToQuarantineButItIsSoHotThatIDoNotReallyWantToLeaveTheHouseAnyways
#TheDayBeforeLeavingWeWereSatInABankRunningErrandsAndIThinkIFeltTheBabyKick
#ItMightPossiblyHaveBeenBraxtonHicksButIDefinitelyFeelMoreThingsHappeningWithinMyBumpNow
#NowWhenIAskBForAKissSheOffersMeHerForeheadOrHeadbuttsMe
#TiagoSaidHisMumWasTeachingBHowToHeadbutLikeABullAsThereAreALotOfBullsOnTheIsland
#TravellingBackCouldHaveBeenWorseButItCouldHaveAlsoBeenBetterToo
#TheFirstPlaneWasFineAsTheAirportIsChillAndBHadHadLunchBeforeWeGotToTheAirportAndItWasAShortFlight
#ThenWeHadThreeHoursBetweenFlightsAndBWasStartingToGetSleepySoWeTookItInTurnsPushingHerUpAndDownTheAirportAndSheEventuallyHadANap
#CheckInStartedLateAndWeWereStoodInAQueueForAboutAnHour
#AFamilyInFrontOfUsWithATwoYearOldWereToldThatTheAirlineNoLongerAcceptedResultsFromTheCompanyTheyUsedAndWereNotAllowedToBoard
#WeTriedToHelpThemButThereWasNothingWeCouldDoAndAsCheckInWasSoLateTheyDidNotHaveTimeToGetNewTests
#BHasDefinitelyChangedAsSheWasNotSoBotheredByAllThePeopleAndSpentALotOfTheFlightWanderingUpAndDownTheAisle
#SheWasAlsoStealingWaterBottlesAsKidsDoNotWantFancyToysTheyWantToPlayWithAnythingAndEverythingElseInstead
#SheLikesToDanceUsingHerHandsButIThinkSheDoesAlsoWaveNowAsWellSoSheWasDancingOrWavingAtEveryone
#TheLightsWereOnHighOnTheFlightTheWholeWaySoBDidNotSleepAndWeLandedAtAboutElevenThirty
#TheFamilyQueueWasMassiveSoItTookAnHourToGetThrough
#TheTaxisWereSuperExpensiveAndWeHadJustMissedTheLastTrainSoWeHadToGetACoachInstead
#YouCouldSeeEveryoneInTheQueueThinkingErghNotABabyOnTheCoachButSheSleptTheWholeTime
#WeGotToMySistersPlaceAtTwoThirtyInTheMorningAndLuckilyBWentStraightToSleep
#ItWasNiceForHerToPlayWithHerCousinAndWeWentOutForLunch
#ApparentlySomeRestaurantsDoNotHaveMoreThanOneHighChairSoWeFinallyGotEnoughSeatsInTheThirdPlaceWeTried
#BDidNotLikeHerPlateOfEggFriedRiceSoIHadToGoAndBuyHerSomeFoodFromASupermarket
#WeAreTryingGivingHerDinnerLaterAndPuttingHerToBedLaterButLetsSeeIfSheCanKeepWakingUpAtAMoreRespectableHour
 

#WeAreNowBackAtHomeSoICanFinallyDoTheThirdVersionOfThisPhoto

Version 1 / Version 2.

#IWouldHaveLikedToHaveDoneItSoonerAsTheGapBetweenTheOtherTwoWasFourWeeksAndNowThereIsASixWeekGap #OhWellBetterLateThanNever

It is what it is. I’ll do the shoot when B wakes up from her nap and my Mum looks after her for an hour or so.

#ItWasNiceToBeAwayButItIsAlsoReallyGoodToBeHomeAndHaveAllOurStuff

Tiago’s parents’ house is a lot of stone and rock, so I didn’t feel like we had a safe place to play. Plus we didn’t take many books and toys.

#YesterdayIWasLikeANewWomanCookingAndCleaningLoads

I also don’t get on well with their kitchen and I missed having a routine with washing clothes etc. Simple stuff that shows I’m getting older.

#IThinkIAmDefinitelyNestingButWeWereAlsoTakingLivingWithMyNanForGrantedAndItIsNiceToBeBack

I did not want the suitcases hanging around for ages, so I washed what needed to be washed and put most of it away. Tiago just needs to sort out his mountain of clothes. The floor is covered in B’s toys, but there is no point tidying as she will be messing with them again in a bit. It’s good to see Nan too – though B was a bit weird with her for a day as I think she could not really remember her?

#IThinkIHaveAlreadyUsedUpALotOfMyEnergyAsThisMorningIAmJustSuperTired

I guess I also knew that today was a day for getting work done for me. Yesterday I let myself have an easy day – I also did a lot of what I needed to do before we came back.

#AtLeastIDoNotHaveToQuarantineButItIsSoHotThatIDoNotReallyWantToLeaveTheHouseAnyways

I took B to the park yesterday to kick her ball around, but she just wanted to play with the pushchair. We were in the shade the whole time.

#TheDayBeforeLeavingWeWereSatInABankRunningErrandsAndIThinkIFeltTheBabyKick #ItMightPossiblyHaveBeenBraxtonHicksButIDefinitelyFeelMoreThingsHappeningWithinMyBumpNow

At this point you can start to feel things, and apparently if you’ve had a baby before you might feel it earlier. I think because I was sat so still and not doing much I noticed it more.

#NowWhenIAskBForAKissSheOffersMeHerForeheadOrHeadbuttsMe #TiagoSaidHisMumWasTeachingBHowToHeadbutLikeABullAsThereAreALotOfBullsOnTheIsland

I tried to film it this morning and she just headbutted my phone instead. Hopefully she’ll stop doing it soon.

#TravellingBackCouldHaveBeenWorseButItCouldHaveAlsoBeenBetterToo #TheFirstPlaneWasFineAsTheAirportIsChillAndBHadHadLunchBeforeWeGotToTheAirportAndItWasAShortFlight

T’s parents live so close to the airport that it’s great. We can leave fairly late and still have plenty of time. We ate our lunch in the airport while giving B some snacks as she hadn’t eaten much since it was quite early for her. The flight was about 35 minutes I think.

#ThenWeHadThreeHoursBetweenFlightsAndBWasStartingToGetSleepySoWeTookItInTurnsPushingHerUpAndDownTheAirportAndSheEventuallyHadANap

At first we tried outside but I felt awkward and a lot of people were smoking. It was much better once we went inside and had seats too.

#CheckInStartedLateAndWeWereStoodInAQueueForAboutAnHour

It was less than 2 hours until the flight and T went to ask if it had started. They said yes, then updated the board. We were going to wait until the queue had got smaller, but we also didn’t want to miss our flight.

We moved to a different queue (after following others who had been in our queue), but it turned out to be for a different flight so they made us wait.

#AFamilyInFrontOfUsWithATwoYearOldWereToldThatTheAirlineNoLongerAcceptedResultsFromTheCompanyTheyUsedAndWereNotAllowedToBoard #WeTriedToHelpThemButThereWasNothingWeCouldDoAndAsCheckInWasSoLateTheyDidNotHaveTimeToGetNewTests

They’d used a company for tests to fly out with and it’d been fine. The staff told them they did not accept results from that company anymore… I felt so bad for them. It was late in the day and there is only one direct flight to London a week from the Azores (which was the flight we were all queuing for). I hope they got home okay in the end.

Some people had not needed to check-in, so some people got to the boarding gates without showing test results and were not allowed to board as they had not done tests. There were a lot of empty seats by us on the plane and we had 3 seats to ourselves which was good.

#BHasDefinitelyChangedAsSheWasNotSoBotheredByAllThePeopleAndSpentALotOfTheFlightWanderingUpAndDownTheAisle

She’s changed from the young girl who was scared of all the people on our first flight 3 weeks ago.

#SheWasAlsoStealingWaterBottlesAsKidsDoNotWantFancyToysTheyWantToPlayWithAnythingAndEverythingElseInstead

Ain’t that the truth?

#SheLikesToDanceUsingHerHandsButIThinkSheDoesAlsoWaveNowAsWellSoSheWasDancingOrWavingAtEveryone

Sometimes I do not know if she is waving or dancing at me. Maybe she thinks waving is dancing? Who knows? (Just B who can’t communicate what she thinks yet.)

#TheLightsWereOnHighOnTheFlightTheWholeWaySoBDidNotSleepAndWeLandedAtAboutElevenThirty

There was a slightly older toddler two rows behind us who was also struggling to sleep and making a lot of noise, so that also didn’t help.

#TheFamilyQueueWasMassiveSoItTookAnHourToGetThrough

I thought that not many flights would land at 11:30pm, but apparently they do. It was a queue full of overtired kids, and stressed out parents.

#TheTaxisWereSuperExpensiveAndWeHadJustMissedTheLastTrainSoWeHadToGetACoachInstead

Great.

#YouCouldSeeEveryoneInTheQueueThinkingErghNotABabyOnTheCoachButSheSleptTheWholeTime

It was not as bad as it could have been, but we should have probably got off at the first stop and got a taxi from there as it cost the same as from the fifth stop but whatever. It was too late by the time we realised as our luggage had been put in sections and we were at the back of the coach.

#WeGotToMySistersPlaceAtTwoThirtyInTheMorningAndLuckilyBWentStraightToSleep

We were planning to go to our car (though the taxi was the same price as a taxi to theirs), so we spent the night with them instead which was nice as we hadn’t seen them in a long time.

Another hurrah for not having to quarantine.

#ItWasNiceForHerToPlayWithHerCousinAndWeWentOutForLunch

The last time they saw each other they had been so young that they hadn’t really noticed each other existed. It was fun to see them together.

#ApparentlySomeRestaurantsDoNotHaveMoreThanOneHighChairSoWeFinallyGotEnoughSeatsInTheThirdPlaceWeTried

If we’d known my sister could have brought a booster seat, but oh well. The one we went to in the end had about 4?

#BDidNotLikeHerPlateOfEggFriedRiceSoIHadToGoAndBuyHerSomeFoodFromASupermarket

Her cousin was loving it, but B was crying her head off and we were getting stressed. My sister suggested going out to get her something (as the restaurant didn’t have much toddler friendly food). The kids loved the spinch and feta parcels I got.

#WeAreTryingGivingHerDinnerLaterAndPuttingHerToBedLaterButLetsSeeIfSheCanKeepWakingUpAtAMoreRespectableHour

The first night we all woke up at 7:45 after I realised what time it was and got us up. Yesterday I kept pressing snooze but we got up around 7:30. Today I heard B at 6:15, but she fell asleep again and then was crying at 6:45 so we got up then.

I was sick at about 7. Fun times. Need to get her up now…

19 weeks pregnant with B comparison:

Close-up of four of my fingers. There is a cut on one of them.
Hand Cuts & NHS Fine (19 weeks)
 
#IAmGuessingThatTheLittleCutsOnMyHandsAreNotDownToMeBeingPregnant
#IReadThatMasksDoNotReallyHelpWithViruses
#ButTheyStopYouTouchingYourFaceSoMuch
#SoIHaveBeenWashingMyHandsMoreSoTheyAreProbablyMoreDryAndCrackEasier
#NotBecauseOfTheVirusButBecauseIHaveBeenIllAndIAmBoredOfBeingIll
#ManagedToDoSomeSaltWaterGarglingYesterday
#RealisedItIsBestIfIKeepTheSaltDownToOneTeaSpoonPerMug
#AndAtTheEndIStillStruggleABit
#IGotALetterFromTheNHSTheOtherDayAndIWasHopingItWasFromMy12WeeksScreening
#NoItWasAFineForSayingIHadAValidMaternityExemptionCertificateWhenIDidNotWhenIGotAPrescription
#ItSaidIfIWasEntitledToHaveOneThenICanApplyForOneButIStillNeedToPayForThePrescription
#ToBeFairIUsedToWorkInAPharmacyButNoOneEverToldMeAboutFinesForPuttingTheWrongOption
#TheWomanAskedMeIfIUsuallyPayForMyPrescriptions
#AndISaidIAmPregnant
#SoSheTickedTheOption
#NotBlamingHerButIThoughtTheyWouldBeAbleToSeeOnMyRecordsThatIAmPregnant
#WellIAppliedForOneYesterday
#NowIAmJustHopingItMeansIDoNotGetFinedForFreeDentistTreatmentToo
#IHonestlyDidNotKnowHowItAllWorks
#ItMakesSenseThatYouGetFinedIfYouSayTheWrongOption
#LuckilyThePrescriptionWas2MonthsAgoSoTheyGiveYouAWhile
#AndGiveYouTwoMonthsToContestItOrPayOrGetACertificate
#TurningOverInBedIsBecomingAProblemIMightHaveSaidSoBefore
#IHaveToSitUpBeforeIDoItNow
#Doing20MinuteStretchingVideosBeforeBedNowWhichDefinitelyHelps
#IDoNotSeemToHaveSaidMuchPelvisPainLately
#ThoughIGetCrampsAndStuffButThatIsMyBodyCleaningItselfAndGrowing
#StillFeelingNervousAboutTheBabyAsIHaveNotSeenItsHeartbeatIn7Weeks
#ItHasDefinitelyGrownSinceThenButIJustGetWorriedThatIGoAndTheyWillSayItStoppedGrowingXWeeksAgo
#NoPointGettingTooStressedOutButWillBeGladWhenICanStartToFeelItsMovements

This time I didn’t need a prescription, and asked for a maternity exemption certificate later (23 weeks?). No one really tells you how this stuff works or generally asks you if you want things, so you just have to find out for yourself or hope that someone tells you stuff. I get it though – the NHS are under resourced, underfunded, overworked etc etc.

With a subsequent pregnancy you have less appointments so you just have to get on with it and pay attention to your body more I guess. I can feel the baby kicking (or braxton kicks?) as I write this. It definitely helps when you start to feel things as you can monitor things for yourself a bit better.

Portrait with my husband Tiago. We have our backs slightly to each other. We are both wearing blue tops and dark bottoms. We look like we are daydreaming.
My Portuguese-British Family and Me (19 weeks)

#SoBrexitFinallyHappened
#IFeelComfortedKnowingThatTiagoHasBritishCitizenship
#ThoughIAmJealousOfHimStillBeingAnEUCitizen
#HopefullyOurChildWillBeAbleToHaveBoth
#SoIDoNotNeedToWorryAboutThem
#IJustHopeThatOneDayICanBeAnEUCitizenAgainOneDay
#IWillProbablyNeverGetOverBrexit
#IWasSatFumingAllDayOnTheDayItFinallyHappened
#PeopleOnTheNewsDoNotSeemAbleToGiveAGoodEnoughReasonStill
#AndItHasBeen3AndAHalfYears
#WeWereInPortugalWhenTheResultsCameOut
#AndItWasTheGreyestDayOfOurTrip
#WeSpentAgesGettingToABeach
#AndTheWeatherWasJustTerrible
#WhichReflectedOurMood
#TheOnlyGoodThingAboutBrexitIsThatItStoppedUsGettingTrappedInZone5OfLondon
#WeThoughtAboutDidWeReallyWantToSpendOurLivesThere
#WeDecidedNo
#SoWeStayedInZone2AndThenTiagosJobRoleChangedAfterAWhile
#IDidNotSeeMyselfLeavingLondonForAnywhereElseInTheUK
#ButThenOneDayWhenIKnewMyWatfordProjectWasNearlyDoneISaidIfYouWantToMoveUpNorthForYourJobThenIAmReadyNowAndWeLeftWithin5Weeks
#AndNowWeLiveInLiverpool
#SoIAmGladThatWeDidNotCommitToZone5InTheEnd
#YesWeAreWearingTheSameTop
#MyMumBoughtMeOneAndIBoughtAnother
#ButTiagoWearsOneAsTheyAreNiceAndWarm
#AndItIsColdUpHereInLiverpool
#ItIsAwkwardWhenWeGoOutWithJumpersOnAndRealiseWeHaveTheSameTopOnUnderneath
#SoOneOfUsHasToBoilInAJumperSoWeDoNotLookSilly
#BlessTiagoBecauseItIsUsuallyHimBoilingInTheJumperAsWeDoNotWantToOverheatTheBaby

Tiago celebrated his 2 years of citizenship the other day (I’m writing this mid-October). We applied for B’s citizenship on holiday and I think it has gone through as now we can apply for a citizenship card for her. Hurrah.

I’m still pissed off about Brexit and will forever be, but we are lucky as hopefully one day our little family will all be EU citizens. With the kids it is easy, but with me it is more of a faff.

I am still grateful that we didn’t get stuck in zone 5 of London. We might have tried for kids sooner though…

When I wrote the hashtags I had no idea we would end up living in Birmingham within a year. Weird.


Thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying my blog (and/or the work I make) please consider supporting me by ‘buying me a coffee’ on Ko-fi – thanks!

Categories
Pregnancy Waiting II

Imitating B Hiding Behind The Curtain In Tiago’s Parents’ Living Room (18 Weeks / 2nd September 2021)

Self-portrait hiding behind a thin curtain. I am pressing my head into it so you can see my hair and a bit of my face.
Imitating B Hiding Behind The Curtain In Tiago’s Parents’ Living Room (18 Weeks / 2nd September 2021)
 
#TheOtherDayWeWerePlayingInTheLivingRoomAndThenISuddenlyCouldNotFindB
#SheWasJustSittingQuietlyBehindTheCurtainThoughSometimesSheStandsAndMessesAbout
#SheHasStartedToTurnInCirclesWhichSheFindsHilariousAndIsCuteToSee
#SheNowAlsoPointsToStuffWhichIsGood
#ThisMayOrMayNotBeFromMeSingingAndDoingTheActionsToWindTheBobbinUpAMillionTimes
#TheOtherDayBMetHerSecondCousinWhoIsAboutFourMonthsYounger
#TheirCommonInterestsAreAnimalsFruitAndKeys
#ThereWereACoupleOfKittensInTheGardenWhereWeWereEatingDinnerAndBWasEnjoyingTalkingToThem
#TiagoAndACoupleOfFriendsFoundThreeKittensThatHadBeenAbandonedTheOtherDayWhileFixingSomeGardenWalls
#LuckilyTheyFoundThemAndTookThemToALocalGroceryShopAsACatCharityTheyCalledWasFull
#WeKeepTalkingAboutThemAndItIsSuchAShameThatWeCouldNotHaveKeptThemButIHopeTheyFoundAGoodHomeOrHomes
#WeHaveStartedToTakeBOutWithUsMoreInTheEveningAndTwoNightsInARowWeHaveReturnedWithHerAsleep
#WeRememberedToTakeHerToothbrushAndBrushHerTeethBeforeGettingInTheCarTheSecondTime
#WeHaveBeenWakingUpToTheSoundOfOurAlarmMoreLatelyButIDoWonderIfThisWillHappenWhenWeReturnHome
#TwoNightsAgoIWasLyingInTiagosArmsInTheNightAndAfterAWhileHePanickedAndSaidWhereIsB
#WeBothStartedToLookAroundButThenRealisedSheWasInHerCot
#TheSameNightIWasSatUpOnTheSideOfTheBedForAbout5MinutesWaitingForBAndTAsIThoughtWeWereOutside
#TheRoomWasPitchBlackButAfterAWhileIRealisedICouldHearTheSoundMachineSoKnewWeWereAtHomeSoIWentBackToSleep
#IHaveBeenHavingQuiteVividDreamsLatelyWithTheOneLastNightBeingAWholeEpisodeAboutLookingAfterMyParentsAnimalsAndThinkingIWasGoingOnHolidayWithFriends
#LastWeekIHadOneWhereIFilledUpAnEmptyOneKiloYoghurtBucketWithEarWax
#YesterdayIHadSuchIntenseCrampsInTheMorningThatIStartedToGetConcerned
#IDidNotWantToOverreactSoILookedOnlineAndItSoundedLikeItCouldBeDehydrationAndOrJustMyBodyStretching
#SoIDrankMoreWaterAndIDidFeelBetter
#YesterdayIGotUpTooFastFromSittingOnTheToiletAndIThinkIExperiencedRoundLigamentPain
#WeWillGoHomeInACoupleOfDaysSoTodayWeNeedToRunSomeErrandsAndGetOurCovidTestsDoneWhichIAmWorriedAbout
#ThereAreOnly20ActiveCasesHereSoItIsUnlikelyWeHaveItButYouNeverKnow
#IAmLookingForwardToGoingBackToOurRoutineAtHomeThoughIWillMissOurRandomExcursionsAndGoingOutAndAboutSoMuch
#TheMainChangeWeWantToMakeWhenWeGetAHomeIsToGetAFoldingDiningTableSoWeCanBothSitWithBWhenSheEats
#IMissSleepingInOurBedAsItIsMuchBiggerAndComfortable
#IfMyBodyFeelsThisAchyAndAwfulNowThenIAmReallyNotLookingForwardToBeingMorePregnant

#TheOtherDayWeWerePlayingInTheLivingRoomAndThenISuddenlyCouldNotFindB

The door was shut and I was so confused. There are not that many places for her to hide in the room…

#SheWasJustSittingQuietlyBehindTheCurtainThoughSometimesSheStandsAndMessesAbout

We do play a lot of ‘peekaboo’ with it.

I just need to try and take a photo with it now when it’s not in use (or Tiag’s parents are not there) as otherwise I will feel quite awkward.

#SheHasStartedToTurnInCirclesWhichSheFindsHilariousAndIsCuteToSee

Tiago’s Mum said she was doing it in the living room, then we saw her doing it outside. She usually falls down after 1 or 2 rotations.

#SheNowAlsoPointsToStuffWhichIsGood

Mainly the photos/paintings on the wall. The photo of T on the wall, and the paintings by Tiago’s Grandmother which are of many things but she likes the ones of flowers the most.

#ThisMayOrMayNotBeFromMeSingingAndDoingTheActionsToWindTheBobbinUpAMillionTimes

The whole ‘point to the ceiling, point to the floor, point to the window, point to the door’ saga. She points to none of them.

#TheOtherDayBMetHerSecondCousinWhoIsAboutFourMonthsYounger #TheirCommonInterestsAreAnimalsFruitAndKeys

I really don’t get how cousins work after first cousins, but his Mum is Tiago’s first cousin and I think they are second cousins?

They were both eating a lot of fruit, and playing with a set of keys.

#ThereWereACoupleOfKittensInTheGardenWhereWeWereEatingDinnerAndBWasEnjoyingTalkingToThem

Some say talking, some say yelling.

#TiagoAndACoupleOfFriendsFoundThreeKittensThatHadBeenAbandonedTheOtherDayWhileFixingSomeGardenWalls

They were fixing ‘curraletas’, which are the traditional way of growing grapes in the area.

#LuckilyTheyFoundThemAndTookThemToALocalGroceryShopAsACatCharityTheyCalledWasFull

They had been there one day the week before. It’s not a road where many people walk down and they would have been hidden. Luckily the weather was okay and they had got there early in the morning.

#WeKeepTalkingAboutThemAndItIsSuchAShameThatWeCouldNotHaveKeptThemButIHopeTheyFoundAGoodHomeOrHomes

I really hope they are okay. I am guessing this kind of thing happens more than we like to, but it may be how we end up with pets in the future…

#WeHaveStartedToTakeBOutWithUsMoreInTheEveningAndTwoNightsInARowWeHaveReturnedWithHerAsleep

We had been out 3 nights in a row. I was relieved to stay at home last night. We’d like to have a date night – just T and I – but it may not happen before we leave now. We have two nights left…

#WeRememberedToTakeHerToothbrushAndBrushHerTeethBeforeGettingInTheCarTheSecondTime

Hurrah.

#WeHaveBeenWakingUpToTheSoundOfOurAlarmMoreLatelyButIDoWonderIfThisWillHappenWhenWeReturnHome

Last night she went to bed at 8pm after having dinner at 6.30pm and she woke up when we woke her up at 7am, so that was good. The other nights she had been going to bed 2/3 hours past her bedtime, so it’s good to know she can do it without staying up late late. We’ll have to see if this routine works in the UK.

#TwoNightsAgoIWasLyingInTiagosArmsInTheNightAndAfterAWhileHePanickedAndSaidWhereIsB

He knew it was me, but at some point he thought I was B, and when he realised I wasn’t he panicked.

#WeBothStartedToLookAroundButThenRealisedSheWasInHerCot

Sleepily panicking in the dark.

#TheSameNightIWasSatUpOnTheSideOfTheBedForAbout5MinutesWaitingForBAndTAsIThoughtWeWereOutside

I must have been dreaming and then woke up. I was just sat patiently waiting for them.

#TheRoomWasPitchBlackButAfterAWhileIRealisedICouldHearTheSoundMachineSoKnewWeWereAtHomeSoIWentBackToSleep

It’s so weird. She’s sleeping less than half a metre from Tiago and we’re getting worked up a lot – as we can’t find her or whatever after waking up.

#IHaveBeenHavingQuiteVividDreamsLatelyWithTheOneLastNightBeingAWholeEpisodeAboutLookingAfterMyParentsAnimalsAndThinkingIWasGoingOnHolidayWithFriends

They don’t have many animals, but in my dream they did. They weren’t people I knew from ‘real life’ either – I think they were just based on people I knew or something.

#LastWeekIHadOneWhereIFilledUpAnEmptyOneKiloYoghurtBucketWithEarWax

There was more to the dream, which I have already forgotten. We have a lot of empty yoghurt tubs at home…

#YesterdayIHadSuchIntenseCrampsInTheMorningThatIStartedToGetConcerned

T started to message around about where I could go for a scan.

#IDidNotWantToOverreactSoILookedOnlineAndItSoundedLikeItCouldBeDehydrationAndOrJustMyBodyStretching

I know my body is stretching a lot, but it felt more intense than normal.

#SoIDrankMoreWaterAndIDidFeelBetter

Sometimes I forget to drink. We went out for a quick breakfast (just a cheese sandwich), so I drank water instead of my favourite chocolate milk.

#YesterdayIGotUpTooFastFromSittingOnTheToiletAndIThinkIExperiencedRoundLigamentPain

From reading what my pains could be I thought that I’d had been having round ligament pain earlier in the day. This seemed to fit the description more… I need to start getting up slower.

#WeWillGoHomeInACoupleOfDaysSoTodayWeNeedToRunSomeErrandsAndGetOurCovidTestsDoneWhichIAmWorriedAbout

We will go out in a minute, while T’s Mum can watch B.

#ThereAreOnly20ActiveCasesHereSoItIsUnlikelyWeHaveItButYouNeverKnow

Well it is getting passed about somehow.

#IAmLookingForwardToGoingBackToOurRoutineAtHomeThoughIWillMissOurRandomExcursionsAndGoingOutAndAboutSoMuch

More our base than routine – all of B’s stuff and having a bit more of our own space. B has been practicing her climbing a lot, so I think she will enjoy using her climbing frame a lot again.

#TheMainChangeWeWantToMakeWhenWeGetAHomeIsToGetAFoldingDiningTableSoWeCanBothSitWithBWhenSheEats

Usually one of us watches B in the kitchen and the other one sits in the living room. It’ll be nice if we can just sit together.

#IMissSleepingInOurBedAsItIsMuchBiggerAndComfortable

My shoulders ache. My hips ache. The bed is super creaky, so I have to try to be quiet when I turn over as to not wake B.

#IfMyBodyFeelsThisAchyAndAwfulNowThenIAmReallyNotLookingForwardToBeingMorePregnant

I’m probably not even half way yet, and I’m feeling it.

When we get home I need to exercise/stretch more. I feel like I’ve lost some of my fitness for sure.

Self-portrait where I am nude with a white space cutting through my breasts. My right hand is wrapped around my back and peeking out from behind my left arm. My left arm is supporting my bump.
 I Have Never Seen My Body Like This Before And It Is So Weird (18 and a half weeks)

#WellIAmIllAgain
#ItIsMainlyACoughButICoughedSoMuchYesterdayMorningThatIThrewUp
#IAmJustTryingToDrinkLotsOfWaterButEarlierTheWaterCutOut
#ItIsMeantToGoOffTomorrowSoThatWasWeirdButItIsBackOnNow
#SawAChartEarlierThatShowsIAmInMy5thMonthOfPregnancy
#ItIsGoingSoFast
#IDefinitelyJustLookLikeABlownUpVersionOfMyselfNow
#IHaveNeverSeenMyBodyLikeThisBeforeAndItIsSoWeird
#IAmStillNervousAsItHasBeen6WeeksSinceISawTheBabyInMyBelly
#TodayIWasThinkingHowOddItIsThatInSomeMonthsTimeWeCouldHaveABabyToLookAfter
#ObviouslyWeKnewWhatWeWereSigningUpFor
#ButItStillBlowsMyMindThatIAmGrowingAHumanInsideOfMe
#IAmTryingNotToJustTakeLotsOfBumpPictures
#ButThenIRealisedThatEvenIfIDoNotIntendForEveryPhotoToBeABumpPhoto
#IShouldStillDocumentItForMyself
#AndTheMainThingThatIsChangingIsMyBody
#KindOfObviousButThatIsWhyItIsHardToTryToTakeOtherPicturesOfMyself
#MyWorkHasBeenAboutBodyImageAndSelfEsteemAndSelfConfidenceForSoLong
#SoItIsInterestingSeeingMyBodyChangeAndHowIFeelAboutIt
#ILikeItBecauseIKnowIAmGrowingSomeoneInsideOfMe
#ThatSoundsSoWeirdAndThatIsBecauseItIs
#ButItIsAlsoJustStrangeSeeingMyBodyChangeSoMuchSoQuickly
#IDefinitelyFeelMoreConfidentThoughAndICareALotLessAboutThingsNow
#IHaveSpentMyWholeLifeTryingToBeSuperPoliteToPeople
#IWasCatchingATrainTheOtherDayAndIWas20MinutesEarlySoISatOnABenchBecauseIAmPregnant
#ThePlatformFilledUpSoMuchAndIWasWorriedThatIWouldNotGetASeatForThe90MinuteJourney
#WhenTheTrainCameIJustMovedAsCloseToTheDoorsAsPossible
#WhichFeltABitAwkwardButIHadBeenThereForAges
#AndIWasWorriedThatIWouldNotHaveASeatAndHaveToAskPeopleToGiveMeOneAsIAmPregnantAndNeedToSitDown
#IHaveToStickMyElbowsOutABitWhenIAmInACrowdNowToStopPeopleBargingMeInTheBelly

I am finding being pregnant weird this time too. It hasn’t really been that long since I was pregnant with B, but it does feel like a lifetime ago.

I haven’t had many opportunities to stick my elbows out this pregnancy, but I did do it when I went to London for a weekend at times.

I haven’t taken that many bump photos this time, though I am working on fixing it, but I guess this time the project photos are half about pregnancy and half about being a mother to B.


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Categories
Pregnancy Waiting II

Imitating B Hiding Behind A Blue Bean Bag (10 Weeks? / 9th July 2021)

Sitting behind a large blue bean bag with my hair in a bun appearing above it, by arms and legs appearing on the left of it.
Imitating B Hiding Behind A Blue Bean Bag (10 Weeks? / 9th July 2021)
 
#TodayBWasPlayingInHerToyBoxWhileHidingBehindABlueBeanBagSoIThoughtIWouldImitateIt
#TheShootWasOriginallyGoingToBeAboutAllTheSpotsISeemToHaveGainedAndLookingAtMyFirstPregnancyProjectIDidAShootAboutSpotsAroundASimilarPointSoItMustBeThisStage
#IHaveBeenHavingSomeBadCrampsLatelyWhichWorryMeButThenIForgetThatItIsOftenMyBodyJustCleaningItself
#IHaveANewStrategyOfJustBeingSickWhenIFeelLikeINeedToBe
#ItIsLessWorkThanTryingForAgesToNotBeSick
#ISeemToHaveQuiteBadBackPainAtTheMomentTooButIUsuallyStretchInTheMorningAndEvening
#ITryToDoVideosWhereIAmJustSatDownAsOtherwiseIFeelTooSick
#ThisMorningIDidAVideoThatRequiredSomeStandingUpAndThenIWasSickNotLongAfter
#BWokeUpAtSixTwentyYesterdayWhichWasEitherAMassiveFlukeOrSheHadSecretlyWatchedTheEnglandGameAndWasKnackered
#ThisMorningSheStartedToReallyKickOffAroundFiveFiftyFiveSoItIsNotTooBad
#ThoughIUsuallyWakeUpAroundFiveAndFiveThirtyAnywaysButThenGoBackToSleepIfSheIsNotAwake
#ItAppearsThatHerFirstTopToothHasBrokenThroughWhichIAmHopingIsWhySheIsSleepingSlightlyBetter
#IThinkItMustHaveBeenQuitePainfulBlessHerButWeStillHaveAZillionMoreTeethToLookForwardTo
#SheStillWakesUpEarlierThanWeWouldLikeHerToButTheGoodThingIsSheIsGenerallyHavingATwoHourNapInTheMorningSoAtLeastICanDoSomeWorkAndHaveANapToo
#IGenerallyJustNapWhenSheNapsNowAsIAmSoTired
#INeedToStartGoingToBedEarlierButItIsEasierSaidThanDone
#YesterdayIWasCookingDinnerAndBSpentMostOfTheTimeEntertainingHerselfWithALimeAPacketOfWrapsAndACardboardBox
#AWomanInABabyClassCommentedAboutHowBIsQuiteContentPlayingByHerself
#OftenSheWillJustGoAndSitAndLookAtHerBooksByHerselfForABitWhichIsNice
#IHadReadAboutTenBooksToHerThisMorningBeforeItWasEvenSevenThirty
#SheGetsSuperExcitedWhenSheKnowsThatIAmGoingToPutHerFavouritePortugueseSongsOn
#IAmStillStressedAboutBGettingEnoughToEatAndOfTheRightThings
#LoveIsMakingHerMuffinsWhenYouHaveMorningSicknessForHerToThenJustScatterOneOverFiveMetres
#AndThenLaughAtYouAsYouSweepItUpOnYourHandsAndKnees
#SheHasAGoodLaughAndTiagoAndNanAreAlwaysWonderingHowIMakeHerLaughSoMuch
#AtTheMomentSheLaughsAtTheCrocodileBitOfRowRowYourBoat
#TheOtherDayIWasSayingShhLetsBeQuietAsWeWentToCreepUpOnTiagoButThenBWentWahhh
#SheNowHasAGoodLaughWhenISayShhLetsBeQuietNotInAWhisperingVoiceAndThenWahhVeryLoudly
#WeHaveCancelledPartOfOurHolidaySoThatWeWillJustStayWithTiagosParentsNowForTheWholeTime
#IAmRelievedAsItWillBeLessStressfulButIJustHopeThatIWillGetOutToGoSwimmingAtSomePoint

#TodayBWasPlayingInHerToyBoxWhileHidingBehindABlueBeanBagSoIThoughtIWouldImitateIt

I love a bit of hiding and revealing. I did some with the toy box and some without as it got a bit distracting with everything, but I’m yet to choose the final shot.

#TheShootWasOriginallyGoingToBeAboutAllTheSpotsISeemToHaveGainedAndLookingAtMyFirstPregnancyProjectIDidAShootAboutSpotsAroundASimilarPointSoItMustBeThisStage

I keep hoping that I am more pregnant than 10 weeks, but looking at Waiting… I seem to be experiencing similar symptoms.

#IHaveBeenHavingSomeBadCrampsLatelyWhichWorryMeButThenIForgetThatItIsOftenMyBodyJustCleaningItself

Yeah I’m talking about discharge, and though I talked about it in Waiting… I’m like maybe people don’t want to read about it again? It is something that I had not heard about before being pregnant though.

#IHaveANewStrategyOfJustBeingSickWhenIFeelLikeINeedToBe #ItIsLessWorkThanTryingForAgesToNotBeSick

I try to hold it off a little bit, but often I’ll just stand up and I’ll be able to be sick right away. Fun times.

#ISeemToHaveQuiteBadBackPainAtTheMomentTooButIUsuallyStretchInTheMorningAndEvening

Another fun pregnancy symptom. Every night Tiago is like ‘I need to get up early in the morning’, but will then give me time to stretch while he makes B breakfast as I really can not stomach feeding her at the moment.

#ITryToDoVideosWhereIAmJustSatDownAsOtherwiseIFeelTooSick

I did do a blog post about the videos that I liked to do when I was pregnant with B.

I do this one every evening on mute while I watch TV:

(14th September: I don’t even watch it now as I know it off by heart.)

I’ve got really into watching TV sped up thanks to a plugin (Video Speed Controller) I have.

& this one maybe once a week in the morning:

Then I generally just search for ‘first trimester stretch’ or ‘first trimester yoga’.

I quite like these channels more now: Pregnancy and Postpartum TV – YouTube / Bettina Rae – YouTube

#ThisMorningIDidAVideoThatRequiredSomeStandingUpAndThenIWasSickNotLongAfter

I did this one this morning:

#BWokeUpAtSixTwentyYesterdayWhichWasEitherAMassiveFlukeOrSheHadSecretlyWatchedTheEnglandGameAndWasKnackered

Mentally it felt like a win, but physically it felt the same. (Her waking up after 6.)

I only watched the last fifteen minutes of extra time as I felt too stressed to watch it. It doesn’t feel like a proud win and I’m quite disgusted by the behaviour of English fans. Add my Covid worries to it and I’m annoyed as hell.

#ThisMorningSheStartedToReallyKickOffAroundFiveFiftyFiveSoItIsNotTooBad

I had heard her at five, and it only felt like five minutes later when the clock said 5:55.

#ThoughIUsuallyWakeUpAroundFiveAndFiveThirtyAnywaysButThenGoBackToSleepIfSheIsNotAwake

We met a girl at the pond today and her Mum said she gets up at 5:30/6 too, and she is about 9 months older. Fun.

#ItAppearsThatHerFirstTopToothHasBrokenThroughWhichIAmHopingIsWhySheIsSleepingSlightlyBetter

Fingers crossed.

#IThinkItMustHaveBeenQuitePainfulBlessHerButWeStillHaveAZillionMoreTeethToLookForwardTo

It looks like a big tooth compared to the bottom ones. Just checked my teeth and yeah that’s how teeth work. Lol.

#SheStillWakesUpEarlierThanWeWouldLikeHerToButTheGoodThingIsSheIsGenerallyHavingATwoHourNapInTheMorningSoAtLeastICanDoSomeWorkAndHaveANapToo

I will miss her two naps. I seem to talk about that every post but yeah.

#IGenerallyJustNapWhenSheNapsNowAsIAmSoTired

Even just a lie down is good.

#INeedToStartGoingToBedEarlierButItIsEasierSaidThanDone

I mentioned reading a book by Stephen Fry in my last post, but I’ve moved on to How To Solve A Murder by Derek and Pauline Tremain. It’s not really what I thought it would be after months of delaying reading it, but it’s an easy read.

#YesterdayIWasCookingDinnerAndBSpentMostOfTheTimeEntertainingHerselfWithALimeAPacketOfWrapsAndACardboardBox

Great. The other day she was being suspiciously quiet and she was pulling all of the tissues out of a tissue box. Looking at the tissues made me want to be sick?

#AWomanInABabyClassCommentedAboutHowBIsQuiteContentPlayingByHerself

She was sat just playing with a drum and cymbal.

#OftenSheWillJustGoAndSitAndLookAtHerBooksByHerselfForABitWhichIsNice

Often upside down, but whatever.

#IHadReadAboutTenBooksToHerThisMorningBeforeItWasEvenSevenThirty

She does seem to like books. My Mum gave us a box of my little sister’s old books and she looks out for them at charity shops so we have a nice collection.

#SheGetsSuperExcitedWhenSheKnowsThatIAmGoingToPutHerFavouritePortugueseSongsOn

She knows by me changing the settings on the TV and she starts to bounce up and down. We often have to play Baby Shark when we clean her up after dinner to get her to chill a bit.

#IAmStillStressedAboutBGettingEnoughToEatAndOfTheRightThings

All we can do is our best.

#LoveIsMakingHerMuffinsWhenYouHaveMorningSicknessForHerToThenJustScatterOneOverFiveMetres #AndThenLaughAtYouAsYouSweepItUpOnYourHandsAndKnees

Classic B.

#SheHasAGoodLaughAndTiagoAndNanAreAlwaysWonderingHowIMakeHerLaughSoMuch

I think my clowning/improv training is finally paying off.

I mean good laugh as in she has a great sounding laugh.

#AtTheMomentSheLaughsAtTheCrocodileBitOfRowRowYourBoat

She starts to laugh as I say ‘if you see…’.

#TheOtherDayIWasSayingShhLetsBeQuietAsWeWentToCreepUpOnTiagoButThenBWentWahhh

I wasn’t expecting her to stay quiet at all. It wasn’t a wah cry, but just a general noise sound.

#SheNowHasAGoodLaughWhenISayShhLetsBeQuietNotInAWhisperingVoiceAndThenWahhVeryLoudly

It’s our first proper in joke. Cute. She probably has forgotten the original time though.

I mean good laugh as in she laughs a lot.

#WeHaveCancelledPartOfOurHolidaySoThatWeWillJustStayWithTiagosParentsNowForTheWholeTime #IAmRelievedAsItWillBeLessStressfulButIJustHopeThatIWillGetOutToGoSwimmingAtSomePoint

I was worried we had hurried into booking stuff and was worried about the cost of changing our flight. Luckily I decided to not go for the cheapest option via not buying through the actual airline, and it turns out we have flexible tickets. Great. So if all goes to plan we will make our connecting flight that evening.

Swimming. I just want to swim. I never swam when I was pregnant with B, and I want to experience it this time as if things go well then I think two children are enough.

10 weeks pregnant with B comparison:

Self-portrait where I am looking to the left of the frame. I am stood sideways. I am wearing a light green top.
Pregnancy Just Seems Like The Name For An Illness Where I Am Sick Every Morning (10 and a half weeks ish)
 
#IKnowIAmPregnant
#ButIHonestlyIForgetWhatThatMeansSometimes
#ItJustSeemsLikeTheNameForAnIllnessWhereIAmSickEveryMorning
#ThenFeelSickAtRandomOtherPointsOfTheDay
#EatingHelpsWhichIsWeirdAsBecauseIFeelSickIDoNotReallyWantToEatButIDo
#PregnancyAlsoMeansALotOfRandomCrampsAndPains
#IReadThatItIsMoreCommonNow
#CrampsAndPainsNotPregnancy
#WhichMakesSenseAsMyBodyIsSlowlyBeingStretched
#MyWombIsAtLeastAlreadyTwoTimesTheSizeOfItsNormalSize
#PregnancyAlsoMeansIGoToBedEarlierAndAmAllowedToNotFeelGuiltyForTakingNaps
#WhichIsGood
#IHadANiceNapThisAfternoon
#IForgetThatPregnancyMeansThatALittleBeingIsGrowingInsideOfMe
#ItStillFeelsOddAndSurreal
#ItSeemsWeirdThatItIsHappeningToMe
#ItIsSomethingThatIHopedWouldBePossibleButAtTheSameTimeCouldNeverImagineItHappeningToMe
#TiagoHasDailyTalksWithMyBellyNow
#ItIsEarlyDaysButIFindItRelaxingAndFunny
#AndIThinkItHelpsHimFeelConnectedToThisStrangeThingThatIsHappeningToMyBody
#IJustAskedHimHowItMakesHimFeel
#HeSaysItMakesItAllFeelMoreReal
#IDoNotKnowHowPregnantIAmAnymoreAsAtMyScanTheyGaveMeANewEstimate
#ButIThinkIAmApproaching11Weeks
#AlreadyAQuarterOfTheWayThrough
#QuicklyApproachingAThird
#IKnowThatBadThingsCanHappenAndItIsStillSuperEarly
#ButIAmFeelingALittleLessFreakedOutAndWorried
#IWentToTheBathroomEarlierWhenIGotReallyStrongPainsButAllSeemedFine
#FingersCrossed

14th September: Well, I can completely relate to these previous hashtags. I’m nearly double in pregnant now, but I still can not get my head around it. It is odd thinking that next year we could be a family of 4. It’s weird thinking of myself as a mother of 2, it’s weird thinking of B as a big sister, it’s bizarre.

I wish I could nap as often as I could then, but I did have a nap yesterday afternoon – I was really disorientated, and I woke B up 40 minutes later than I should have. Whoops.

Tiago talks to my bump when he remembers, but it’s different this time around with B as she is a big distraction. The pregnancy seems to be going faster.


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Categories
Pregnancy

Animal Hats & Cramps (6 and a half weeks)

The photo that I’m talking about in this post isn’t actually in my pregnancy project (Waiting For Things In A Time When You Rarely Wait For Things); it’s in my Ulterior Monologue project under the title of My Mum Bought Me A Hat When She Was On Holiday. I was pregnant at the time though and I had forgotten that I’d written pregnancy related hashtags for it.

The image with the pregnancy related hashtags:

I called the folder ‘Animal Hats & Cramps’.

#ILookSadInThePhotoBecauseIStartedToGetHorrendousCramps
#AndEveryTimeIDoItScaresTheShhhOutOfMe
#IThoughtTheWorstWasHappening
#SoIThoughtIWasPhotographingMyselfWhilstTheWorstWasHappening
#AndIKeptTakingPicturesAsIWasTooScaredToGoToTheBathroomToCheck
#AsEveryTimeIGoToTheBathroomIGetScaredOfWhatIMightFind
#OrWhatMightHappen
#ButAfterAWhileILetOutALotOfAir
#AndItMightHaveJustBeenTrappedWind
#SoIHadALittleLaughToMyself
#ButEveryTimeIGetAPainIThinkTheWorst
#AndOftenItIsTrappedWind
#ButIAmWorriedOneTimeThatItWillNotBe
#AndIDoNotWantToBeRushingToTheDoctorsOrHospitalEvery5Minutes
#IJustDoNotKnowWhatIsNormalYet
#INeedToCalmDownAndTryNotToStressSoMuch
#ThatIsTrue
#ButItIsEasierToSayThanDo
 

And the image with its original Ulterior Monologue hashtags – it shows it in a very different light.

My Mum Bought Me A Hat When She Was On Holiday

#IWantedToBuyAHatSoItSavedMeTheHassle
#ThoughIWasThinkingMoreOfAThickKnittedNavyColouredHatOrSomething
#ButThisIsTheKindOfHatIWantToWear #ButWouldNotBuyForMyself
#ButIfMyMumBuysItForMeWhenIAm31ThenItIsOkay #TheOtherDayIWatchedAll4EpisodesOfQueerEyeInJapanAndIWasThinkingIShouldStartDressingMoreBoldlyAgain #ButTheRealityIsIJustWantToBeDressedAllInBluesAndRemainAsInvisibleAsPossible #WhichMightSeemOddConsideringTheKindOfWorkIMake
#WhichIsMainlyPhotographingAndVideoingMyself
#ButIGuessIDoNotWantToBeCompletelyInvisible
#WhichIsPerhapsOneOfTheReasonsWhyIMakeWorkAboutMyself
#AsItIsTherapeuticForMe #ToBecomeMoreComfortableWithMyAppearance #AndNowWithTheseRamblingHashtagsIAmBecomingMoreComfortableWithMyThoughtsAndWords #AndIWantToBeVisibleOnSomeLevel
#ButOnOtherLevelsIWantToBeInvisible
#LikeWalkingDownTheStreet
#IAmNotSayingIAmACelebThankWhateverAbove #ButIMeanJustWalkingDownTheStreetWithoutAnyStrangeLooksOrBeingNoticedAtAllForAnyReasonWhetherItBeGoodOrBad
#IDoNotMindChattingWithRandomPeopleButSometimesIJustWantToBeInMyOwnLittleWorld #AndWalkAlongWithoutHavingToDealWithThingsLikeZebraCrossingsAndOtherAwkwardInteractions #ButAnywaysIHaveNotWornThisHatOutYet #AndIRealiseThatTheHatIsAnAnimalHatWhichIsWhatIMainlyWearInMyDanceVideos #AndIWearAHatInMyDanceVideosBecauseIDoNotLikeHowILookInHats
#AndIWasBulliedForAHatIHadInFirstSchool #SoItIsMyWayOfTryingToOvercomeMyPastExperiencesOfHatsWhichSoundsFunnyButIsTrue #ButIHaveOnlyReallyWornHatsLatelyInMyLivingRoom #SoIWillMakeAnEffortToWearItOutOnTheNextReallyColdDayAsIDoNotWantColdEarsOrAHeadache #IForgotToMentionWhatARidiculousSizeThosePomPomsAre
#MyMumSaidICanCutThemOffButIFeelBad

Ulterior Monologue is the project that I first started to use hashtags with. It was my response to my awkwardness of using hashtags and wanting to use more text with my images, but also feeling awkward about that.

The project was about wanting to be pregnant but not feeling able to talk about it. It started to come to a natural end when I found out I was pregnant, though there was some crossover with my new pregnancy project. I didn’t announce my pregnancy on social media until I was 20 weeks due to feeling worried that something bad would happen and not wanting to ‘curse myself’. It also took me a while to figure out what I was doing project wise and how to go about posting without revealing I was pregnant; in the end I went for the ‘post all the projects I’ve ever done’ archive approach on my Instagram.

I had forgotten about how I felt during this photo, but having never been pregnant before every little pain made me nervous. Pregnancy is thought of as a beautiful time, which it is, but I found it very stressful – even before the pandemic.

I never went to get the cramps checked out. It could have been wind (I think I had forgotten the scenario so I never had to share hashtags about trapped wind, but after having a baby you talk about bodily functions A LOT) or it could have just been my uterus stretching (makes sense as I was growing a baby inside it) or something else.

It is said that a photo says a 1000 words, but I don’t think a picture can tell you everything or even that much sometimes. Maybe a picture just makes you think what you want to think based on your life experiences and personality. Show a picture to 100 people and I wonder what they would all say and how differing the opinions would be about what the image is really about. Obviously it depends on what the image is of – show a picture of a cat and I’m sure there would be a mixed crowd of ‘that’s cute’ and ‘I hate cats’.

These two sets of hashtags really show two different sides to the image and if you only see one set then you miss part of the story. How would you know that I was pregnant and stressing out about cramps just by looking at a picture of me in a hat? It’s true I don’t look happy, but I’m not about to open the can of worms that is ‘why don’t people smile in photos these days?’ Does it really matter though about only knowing part of the story? I’d forgotten half of it myself.

Anyways, I think using hashtags with my work really brings another level to the pictures, though whether people choose to read them or not is their choice.

I love text with photographs and back when I used to go to exhibitions (used to because of Covid) I’d often spend more time reading the accompanying image text rather than looking at an image. I wonder if this will change when I finally go to a show again – will I want to hang around? Will I be able to with a baby anyways? Will I feel comfortable using a public toilet and changing her in one? How will I feel about breastfeeding in public or will I just choose to express and bottle-feed her?

We shall have to wait and see…