Categories
Oh Me, Oh Mãe II

Imitating B With Grapes On Her Fingers (9th / 11th March 2022)

Grape halves have been pushed onto the fingers and thumb of my right hand. Some grape juice is dripping down my fingers and hand. The back of my hand is facing the camera.
Imitating B With Grapes On Her Fingers (9th / 11th March 2022)
 
#IHaveMentionedThisBeforeAndIAmSureISawBDoThisAMonthOrTwoAgo
#SheLikesToPushHerFingersIntoGrapeHalvesAndThenMoveThemToAndFromHerBowlAndTable
#IHaveNotDoneAnImitationPhotoInAWhileAsIWasTryingToRecordMyPregnancyWithLAsMuchAsPossible
#AndSinceSheHasBeenBornIHaveJustBeenDocumentingOtherThingsLikeMyDeflatingBumpAndBreastfeedingJourney
#AtTheWeekendWeWentToBristolToSeeLotsOfMyBAUniFriendsAndOldLondonFriends
#AFriendWasVisitingFromAbroadAndEveryoneAlwaysMakesTheEffortToSeeHim
#IWasNervousAboutTheJourneyAndStressedALotAboutWhereWeWouldAllSitInTheCar
#InTheEndLSatNextToTiagoAsIfSheCriedWeWouldNeedToStop
#WhereasIfBCriedICouldEntertainHerAndItWorkedOutQuiteWell
#WeWentAfterLunchSoThatBCouldSleepInTheCarButItTookHerHalfAnHourToFallAsleepSoSheOnlyHadAnHourNap
#LFellAsleepStraightAwayAndThereWasNoTrafficSoItWasQuiteAGoodTrip
#WeWalkedIntoTheRoomAndEveryTimeILookedFurtherISawSomeoneElseWhoIHadNotSeenInSoLongAndICriedWhichWasABitEmbarrassing
#WeHadOnlySeenThreeOfThePeopleThereInTheLastYearAndSomeIHadNotSeenForAtLeastFourYears
#ItWasLovelyToMeetACoupleOfOurFriendsKidsForTheFirstTimeAsBAndThreeOthersWereBornWithinAboutFiveMonths
#BWasShyAtFirstButThenSheWasHappyRunningAroundAndHadAGreatTime
#IWasNervousAboutPossiblyGettingCovidButWeDidTestsLastNightAndTheyWereNegative
#WeCameHomeAtBedtimeAndLTookHalfAnHourToFallAsleepWhereasBDidNotSleepUntilTheLastFiveMinutes
#BeforeWeLeftOurFriendSaidThatAllKidsFallAsleepInTheCarWhichObviouslyCursedUs
#LuckilyItWasNotTooBadThoughAndAsIWasSatNextToBIGotToEntertainHer
#IAmSoHappyWeWentAsItWasHowIThoughtThingsWouldHaveBeenDuringEarlyMotherhoodIfItWasNotForThePandemic
#HangingOutWithFriendsAndTheirKidsAndJustHavingAFunTime
#AsIAmNoLongerPregnantIWantToGetOutABitMoreNowAndLiveLife
#EarlierIWasThinkingAboutHowIfIHadNotBeenPregnantForMostOfLastYearThenIProbablyWouldHaveTakenBOutToALotMorePlaces
#IFeelLikeSheHasMissedOutOnStuffButSheIsNotReallyAwareAndAtLeastSheGotToGoToNurseryWhichIThinkSheReallyEnjoys
#ObviouslyWeNeedToBeCarefulStillBecauseWeLiveWithNanButNanGoesShoppingALotAndDoesNotSeemToBotheredAboutItAll
#LHasNotBeenSoGoodAtNappingLatelyOrIFindSheIsGoodAtNappingWhenBIsAtNurseryButNotWhenSheIsNot
#IThinkItIsBecauseIJustHopeThatLWillFallAsleepDownstairsButSheDoesNotUnlessWeHaveBeenOutForAWalk
#SoINeedToJustWatchTheTimeAndPutHerDownForANapAsSheIsQuiteGoodAtFallingAsleepByHerselfInTheCot
#SheHasSleptForSixHoursInTheNightACoupleOfTimesWhichIsGoodButThenIGetStressedAboutGettingHerToDrinkAllMyMilk
#ICanNotBeBotheredToExpressInTheMiddleOfTheNightButByMidMorningTheySeemQuiteEmptyAgainHurrah
Grape halves have been pushed onto the fingers and thumb of my right hand. My fingers and thumb are close together and it's a side view of my hand.
Imitating B With Grapes On Her Fingers (9th / 11th March 2022) II

#IHaveMentionedThisBeforeAndIAmSureISawBDoThisAMonthOrTwoAgo #SheLikesToPushHerFingersIntoGrapeHalvesAndThenMoveThemToAndFromHerBowlAndTable Yeah, I mentioned it in my last post. I’ve wanted to photograph it for a while but ….

#IHaveNotDoneAnImitationPhotoInAWhileAsIWasTryingToRecordMyPregnancyWithLAsMuchAsPossible

People keep asking me if we want another kid. No. I would definitely be spreading myself too thin, which isn’t fair on the kids. So I wanted to make sure I documented my pregnancy as well as possible. I probably should have been a bit more experimental with my approach at times, but oh well.

#AndSinceSheHasBeenBornIHaveJustBeenDocumentingOtherThingsLikeMyDeflatingBumpAndBreastfeedingJourney

All those important early weeks things.

#AtTheWeekendWeWentToBristolToSeeLotsOfMyBAUniFriendsAndOldLondonFriends #AFriendWasVisitingFromAbroadAndEveryoneAlwaysMakesTheEffortToSeeHim

He always sends a quite last minute message saying ‘I’ll be here on this date’ and everyone drops everything to go see him. I’d mentioned it to Tiago a week ago and he did not seem too keen and I was quite ill, but when I mentioned it again he seemed up for it and I felt better.

#IWasNervousAboutTheJourneyAndStressedALotAboutWhereWeWouldAllSitInTheCar #InTheEndLSatNextToTiagoAsIfSheCriedWeWouldNeedToStop #WhereasIfBCriedICouldEntertainHerAndItWorkedOutQuiteWell

Initially I was thinking that I should sit between them, but my Dad said if we got in an accident I’d get squashed. Then we thought B should go in the front, but she’d have to face forward and that seemed distracting for Tiago.

#WeWentAfterLunchSoThatBCouldSleepInTheCarButItTookHerHalfAnHourToFallAsleepSoSheOnlyHadAnHourNap

She usually has 2 – 2 and a half hours.

#LFellAsleepStraightAwayAndThereWasNoTrafficSoItWasQuiteAGoodTrip

I made sure L was fed before we went.

#WeWalkedIntoTheRoomAndEveryTimeILookedFurtherISawSomeoneElseWhoIHadNotSeenInSoLongAndICriedWhichWasABitEmbarrassing

I’d be like ‘oh it’s …’ then look up and see someone else and say ‘oh it’s …’ and repeat until I cried…

#WeHadOnlySeenThreeOfThePeopleThereInTheLastYearAndSomeIHadNotSeenForAtLeastFourYears

We’d met up with a couple and their kid. We were supposed to see them again in September, but their kid was ill and we decided that we didn’t want to potentially catch it as I was pregnant etc.

#ItWasLovelyToMeetACoupleOfOurFriendsKidsForTheFirstTimeAsBAndThreeOthersWereBornWithinAboutFiveMonths

It was nice to be pregnant at the same time and share tips and things. B is the oldest of the four, but not by much.

#BWasShyAtFirstButThenSheWasHappyRunningAroundAndHadAGreatTime

It was so nice to see her in the company of friends.

#IWasNervousAboutPossiblyGettingCovidButWeDidTestsLastNightAndTheyWereNegative

I knew there was a possibility that we might catch it, but I really wanted to see people. I’ve been shut away for so long and I wanted B to meet people. There are still so many people that B hasn’t met. L got to meet a lot of people within her first month – it took me a while to fill in all the names of the ‘this month I met…’ section of her baby book.

#WeCameHomeAtBedtimeAndLTookHalfAnHourToFallAsleepWhereasBDidNotSleepUntilTheLastFiveMinutes

I really thought we’d have to stop for L. I think she was rooting around, but then she just went to sleep. Phew. I had fed her LOTS before we left.

#BeforeWeLeftOurFriendSaidThatAllKidsFallAsleepInTheCarWhichObviouslyCursedUs

Lol.

#LuckilyItWasNotTooBadThoughAndAsIWasSatNextToBIGotToEntertainHer

We were trying to discreetly eat snacks but B would just hear things rustling and put her hand out. I was trying to entertain her, but then giving her space to fall asleep but obviously it did not go well.

#IAmSoHappyWeWentAsItWasHowIThoughtThingsWouldHaveBeenDuringEarlyMotherhoodIfItWasNotForThePandemic #HangingOutWithFriendsAndTheirKidsAndJustHavingAFunTime

A friend pointed out that they’re only just getting to the age where they interact more, but I wanted to hang out with people and see people. I’ve met a lot of dog walkers around here, but not many people with kids.

#AsIAmNoLongerPregnantIWantToGetOutABitMoreNowAndLiveLife #EarlierIWasThinkingAboutHowIfIHadNotBeenPregnantForMostOfLastYearThenIProbablyWouldHaveTakenBOutToALotMorePlaces

One of those fun shower daydreams where I’m like ‘I could have taken B to the sea life centre and gone to the shops and blah blah blah’. To be fair with the money we spend on her nursery we could have been out doing cool activities but it felt like too much of a risk being pregnant, and I forget that I was not vaccinated for a lot of last year. Now I’m triple vaccinated I feel better about things, but I guess they are starting to wear off now.

#IFeelLikeSheHasMissedOutOnStuffButSheIsNotReallyAwareAndAtLeastSheGotToGoToNurseryWhichIThinkSheReallyEnjoys

Do I remember what I was getting up to when I was a year and a half? Nope.

#ObviouslyWeNeedToBeCarefulStillBecauseWeLiveWithNanButNanGoesShoppingALotAndDoesNotSeemToBotheredAboutItAll

She goes stir crazy when she’s in the house too much too. The weather is getting better now so at least she can go out into the garden more soon.

#LHasNotBeenSoGoodAtNappingLatelyOrIFindSheIsGoodAtNappingWhenBIsAtNurseryButNotWhenSheIsNot

It’s my fault basically.

#IThinkItIsBecauseIJustHopeThatLWillFallAsleepDownstairsButSheDoesNotUnlessWeHaveBeenOutForAWalk

When B is at nursery I’ll put L down in her cot. When B is home I feel bad running off to put L in her cot and it’s a faff if she cries and I have to go get her again etc, but I need to start doing it.

#SoINeedToJustWatchTheTimeAndPutHerDownForANapAsSheIsQuiteGoodAtFallingAsleepByHerselfInTheCot

I put her there just before writing this and she went off quite fast. If she’s like this now then hopefully sleep training will be alright. At this point B had a dummy and was a lot harder to put down for naps I think – but her wake windows were also a lot shorter. We bought dummies for L, just in case but once we changed her sleeping bag we realised we did not need them.

#SheHasSleptForSixHoursInTheNightACoupleOfTimesWhichIsGoodButThenIGetStressedAboutGettingHerToDrinkAllMyMilk

Probably not the best idea when I’ve had mastitis but I think the lecithin tablets I take now are good for helping to unclog ducts, and I’m tired. I need to sleep.

#ICanNotBeBotheredToExpressInTheMiddleOfTheNightButByMidMorningTheySeemQuiteEmptyAgainHurrah

Often I faff for ages trying to get L to drink more when she doesn’t want to, so last night I was putting her back down when she fell asleep while drinking and I fell asleep pretty quickly each time. She slept for four and a half hours (I’d tried to do a dream feed but it wasn’t successful), and then she slept for ~2 hours, ~1 hour and ~1 hour. I couldn’t really burp her though after her long feed so maybe that’s why she slept less, or because she didn’t drink as much as she normally would at the night feeds. Hmm.


Thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying my blog (and/or the work I make) please consider supporting me by ‘buying me a coffee’ on Ko-fi – thanks!

Categories
Oh Me, Oh Mãe II

Mastitis Is No Joke (5th / 7th March 2022)

Self-portrait where I have cabbage leaves in my bra, which are visible as I am wearing a breastfeeding dress and part of the dress is lifted up. My hair is covering my face and it is quite curly from having it up in a bun all the time and rarely washing it.
Mastitis Is No Joke (5th / 7th March 2022)
 
#ThisWeekHasBeenARoughWeekAndIFeelDumbComplainingWhenTheNewsIsSoAwfulAtTheMoment
#ISpendALotOfMyTimeWhileBreastfeedingJustDoomScrollingAndCryingAtVideosOfBabiesAndChildren
#MothersGivingBirthInBasementsAndBombSheltersWhileIHadAPleasantExperienceNotEvenAMonthAgoAndHaveBeenHavingMedicalTreatmentForBleedingAndBadBoobs
#IWokeUpAtTheStartOfTheWeekInTheEarlyHoursOfTheMorningWithOneBreastJustFeelingReallyHot
#IFeltAroundForALumpAndCouldNotFindOneButWasInstantlyWorriedItWasMastitis
#TheFluLikeSymptomsKickedInAndIHadMajorChillsAndCouldNotSleepWellAtAll
#TheBadSleepingWentOnForACoupleOfNightsAndIFoundARaisedAreaAtTheBottomOfMyRightBreast
#TakingIbruprofenMadeMyChillsGoToExtremeSweatsWhichWasGreatFun
#ICheckedTheNHSWebsiteAndItSaidToContactYourGPIfSymptomsDidNotGoAwayAfter24Hours
#SoICalledAndTheyGaveMeSomeAntibiotics
#LeadingUpToThatAndAfterThatIHaveJustBeenTryingEverythingFromEpsomSaltsToCabbageLeavesToExpressingToMassagesToLecithinToBathsAndShowersToWarmCompresses
#IDoNotFeelThatBadNowThoughIHaveBsColdAndASuperPhlegmyCoughAndILostMyVoiceACoupleOfDaysAgo
#SoBreastfeedingMightBeGoingBetterButWithBINeverGotMastitisWhichIsProbablyBecauseIMainlyPumpedSoMyBoobsWereAlwaysEmptied
#ITookLToHerFirstBabyClassWhichSheSleptThroughAndDuringTheSocialisingTimeIFeltSoAwkwardDueToMyWeirdVoiceThatIThoughtIShouldLeave
#OfCourseLWokeUpThenSoIChangedHerAndGotTalkingToAFewPeopleAndThenFedHer
#TheClassEndedThoughSoIEndedUpSittingAtTheBackOfTheNextClassFeedingHer
#InTheEndWeWereOutFor3HoursWhichWasABitMuchButItFeltGoodToGetOutOfTheHouseAndDoSomethingDifferentAndSeeSomePeople
#HopefullyIWillGetTalkingToMorePeopleEachWeekButLWasTheYoungestBabyByFarAsTheRestWereSittingUpAndMostWereCrawling
#WhenITookBToClassesIOnlyReallyTalkedToThoseWithKidsOfASimilarAgeSoIGetItIfNoOneWantsToTalkToMe
#IDidNotGetToTakeBToClassesThisEarlyOnAsThereWereNoneOnOrNoneNearUs
#LHasNotBeenSleepingGreatDuringTheDayButIThinkItIsBecauseOftenIShouldJustGoAndPutHerInHerCotButBecauseBIsAroundIJustTryToSeeIfSheWillFallAsleepDownstairs
#IAmDefinitelyMoreRelaxedAboutLHavingAScheduleThanIWasWithBButMyMumHasAlwaysSaidThatTheSecondKidJustSlotsIn
#IfBIsAwakeAnywaysThenThereDoesNotSeemMuchPointEnforcingAScheduleOnLUnlessIWantUsToGoOnAWalkButIKnowSheWillFallAsleepInTheCarrier
#IHaveBathedLByMyselfACoupleOfTimesWhichIsGoodAndProbablyAReliefForMyMum
#BMakesMeLaughSoMuchTheseDays
#SheSeemsToHaveANewHabitOfStoringFoodOrAtLeastJustPuttingCrustsSomewhereSoWeKeepFindingOldCrustsAround
#SheHasAThingAboutPushingHerFingersIntoGrapeHalvesWhichIShouldProbablyImitateAtSomePoint
#WhenLCriesSheGoesOverAndGetsAnnoyedWhichIHopeSheWillStopDoingSoon
#IThinkSheKnowsThatWhenLCriesSheGetsPickedUpSoSheWantsLToStopPerhaps
#BeforeBeingAMumIDidNotGetWhyPeopleDressedTheirKidsInMatchingOutfitsButLikeInOurFirstFamilyPortraitTheyHaveAFewMatchingOnesiesAndIGetItNowItIsCute

#ThisWeekHasBeenARoughWeekAndIFeelDumbComplainingWhenTheNewsIsSoAwfulAtTheMoment #ISpendALotOfMyTimeWhileBreastfeedingJustDoomScrollingAndCryingAtVideosOfBabiesAndChildren

It’s just awful. I felt I should have addressed it in my last post, but I didn’t feel able to yet. This isn’t really addressing it either but it is acknowledging it.

#MothersGivingBirthInBasementsAndBombSheltersWhileIHadAPleasantExperienceNotEvenAMonthAgoAndHaveBeenHavingMedicalTreatmentForBleedingAndBadBoobs

Well, antibiotics but I’ve been able to speak to a Doctor or go to a hospital and be checked out etc.

#IWokeUpAtTheStartOfTheWeekInTheEarlyHoursOfTheMorningWithOneBreastJustFeelingReallyHot #IFeltAroundForALumpAndCouldNotFindOneButWasInstantlyWorriedItWasMastitis

I worried about this happening the whole time I was breastfeeding B and I had been worried. L doesn’t feed for long but she feeds efficiently. The day before this started she had only fed for an hour and a half the whole day, so I think I should have been trying to get her feed more. Fail.

#TheFluLikeSymptomsKickedInAndIHadMajorChillsAndCouldNotSleepWellAtAll #TheBadSleepingWentOnForACoupleOfNightsAndIFoundARaisedAreaAtTheBottomOfMyRightBreast

Me complaining about not sleeping in a nice bed in a safe house etc. Lol. Well, I’m just saying what happened and I was really struggling to sleep – my brain was just thinking of 5 letter words which was really pissing me off. Thanks Wordle and Quordle.

#TakingIbruprofenMadeMyChillsGoToExtremeSweatsWhichWasGreatFun

I kind of preferred having the chills. Just waking up covered in sweat is not nice.

#ICheckedTheNHSWebsiteAndItSaidToContactYourGPIfSymptomsDidNotGoAwayAfter24Hours #SoICalledAndTheyGaveMeSomeAntibiotics

At first I was not sure about whether to get them or not, but she said it is different antibiotics to the ones I was taking for the bleeding. Also I did not want things to get worse.

#LeadingUpToThatAndAfterThatIHaveJustBeenTryingEverythingFromEpsomSaltsToCabbageLeavesToExpressingToMassagesToLecithinToBathsAndShowersToWarmCompresses

I imagine this shoot will involve cabbage leaves in some capacity. I was telling a friend that having them in my bra makes me feel like an allotment version of The Little Mermaid.

#IDoNotFeelThatBadNowThoughIHaveBsColdAndASuperPhlegmyCoughAndILostMyVoiceACoupleOfDaysAgo

It’s a relief that my Mum comes round and B goes to nursery a few times a week as looking after two kids when you’re feeling as bad as I did at the start of the week is not fun.

Also luckily the weather was quite bad so I didn’t feel so bad for not getting us all out for walks.

#SoBreastfeedingMightBeGoingBetterButWithBINeverGotMastitisWhichIsProbablyBecauseIMainlyPumpedSoMyBoobsWereAlwaysEmptied

I mainly pumped and bottle fed B.

#ITookLToHerFirstBabyClassWhichSheSleptThroughAndDuringTheSocialisingTimeIFeltSoAwkwardDueToMyWeirdVoiceThatIThoughtIShouldLeave

I was sat on the sidelines and felt awkward calling over to people as I felt I sounded so weird.

#OfCourseLWokeUpThenSoIChangedHerAndGotTalkingToAFewPeopleAndThenFedHer

The teacher was super nice and came to look at L as I left her on our mat to wash my hands. She said there is a baby who is two weeks old starting next week (at a different session).

#TheClassEndedThoughSoIEndedUpSittingAtTheBackOfTheNextClassFeedingHer

It was a nice big room so it was not that weird.

#InTheEndWeWereOutFor3HoursWhichWasABitMuchButItFeltGoodToGetOutOfTheHouseAndDoSomethingDifferentAndSeeSomePeople

It felt a bit more like how classes should have been when B was little.

#HopefullyIWillGetTalkingToMorePeopleEachWeekButLWasTheYoungestBabyByFarAsTheRestWereSittingUpAndMostWereCrawling

It was cute seeing the other kids.

#WhenITookBToClassesIOnlyReallyTalkedToThoseWithKidsOfASimilarAgeSoIGetItIfNoOneWantsToTalkToMe

People were polite, but L isn’t much of a fun playdate for kids who are interacting with things.

#IDidNotGetToTakeBToClassesThisEarlyOnAsThereWereNoneOnOrNoneNearUs

B would have liked the class for sure, but yeah not so much at L’s age.

#LHasNotBeenSleepingGreatDuringTheDayButIThinkItIsBecauseOftenIShouldJustGoAndPutHerInHerCotButBecauseBIsAroundIJustTryToSeeIfSheWillFallAsleepDownstairs

In her bouncer or something. Sometimes she does, but lately she hasn’t. If we’ve been for a walk I’ll leave her in her bassinet and she sleeps quite well. Sometimes I get the bassinet out for her to sleep in.

#IAmDefinitelyMoreRelaxedAboutLHavingAScheduleThanIWasWithBButMyMumHasAlwaysSaidThatTheSecondKidJustSlotsIn

I do need to start trying to implement one though. Today we got up at 7 so that was good. It depends what time L has last woken up though. She had an hour of sleep between 2 and 8pm yesterday (B had 1 1/2 in comparison), so she slept for 6 hours. That probably isn’t good for my boob situation, but I needed the sleep too. I went to bed at 9ish and L slept on Tiago, then he moved her to her cot.

#IfBIsAwakeAnywaysThenThereDoesNotSeemMuchPointEnforcingAScheduleOnLUnlessIWantUsToGoOnAWalkButIKnowSheWillFallAsleepInTheCarrier

I try to be smart if I want us to get out of the house, or if B is going to have a nap and I want to nap too but sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t.

#IHaveBathedLByMyselfACoupleOfTimesWhichIsGoodAndProbablyAReliefForMyMum

I need to keep a record of when I bath her as I can not remember. We try to bath both of the kids twice a week, but once might be enough to be fair (with flannel washes every day).

#BMakesMeLaughSoMuchTheseDays

She has so much personality. We had a video call with a friend yesterday and she got to see what a ball of energy B is.

#SheSeemsToHaveANewHabitOfStoringFoodOrAtLeastJustPuttingCrustsSomewhereSoWeKeepFindingOldCrustsAround

She tried to eat one the other day and realised how gross it was.

#SheHasAThingAboutPushingHerFingersIntoGrapeHalvesWhichIShouldProbablyImitateAtSomePoint

A bit like Amelie and the raspberries on her fingers…

#WhenLCriesSheGoesOverAndGetsAnnoyedWhichIHopeSheWillStopDoingSoon

We can not really leave them in a room together – I mean while I quickly pop into the kitchen to get something.

#IThinkSheKnowsThatWhenLCriesSheGetsPickedUpSoSheWantsLToStopPerhaps

*Shrugs*

#BeforeBeingAMumIDidNotGetWhyPeopleDressedTheirKidsInMatchingOutfitsButLikeInOurFirstFamilyPortraitTheyHaveAFewMatchingOnesiesAndIGetItNowItIsCute

Super cute. I think in a couple of years they may be in the same size clothes though which ruins my plans of passing clothes down, but I guess L will have to wear B’s clothes for a bit anyways.


Thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying my blog (and/or the work I make) please consider supporting me by ‘buying me a coffee’ on Ko-fi – thanks!

Categories
Oh Me, Oh Mãe II

First Family Portrait As A Family Of Four (25th / 27th February 2022)

Family portrait where T is sat on the floor cradling L, I am kneeling on the floor with B on my lap. B is kissing L's head.
First Family Portrait As A Family Of Four (25th / 27th February 2022)
 
#IAmWritingThisOnThe25thWithTheHopeThatWeWillDoAFamilyPortraitOverTheWeekend
#ICanNotBelieveThatLIsTwoWeeksOldAlreadyThoughItAlsoSeemsLikeSheIsALotOlder
#SheIsSoAlertAndIDefinitelyFeelALotMoreRelaxedWithHerThanIWasWithBAtThisPoint
#ThoughIAmStillYetToBatheHerByMyselfAndSheHasALotOfMilkSpotsAndDrySkin
#IFeelBetterThoughAsBreastfeedingIsGoingSoWellAndSoIDoNotHaveToFaffSoMuchThisTime
#WeHadToTakeHerOutToAnAppointmentToGetWeighedAndSheHadOnlyPutOn20gSoWeHadToGoBackTwoDaysLater
#ThatTimeSheHadPutOn60gAndWasOverHerBirthWeightSoWeHaveBothBeenDischarged
#AtThisPointBabiesAreSoSmallThatTheWeightDifferenceMightBeLargelyDownToWhetherOrNotTheyHaveBeenToTheToiletRecentlyThoughIThink
#IWasWorriedThatMaybeMyMilkWasNotGoodEnoughAndWeWouldHaveToSupplementSoItWasARelief
#BreastfeedingLHasMadeMeRealiseHowMuchGuiltIHaveOverFeedingB
#IThinkAsIStruggledSoMuchInTheBeginningItJustMadeMeWantToPumpAndIAskedTiagoToFeedHerALot
#ThisMeantIWasQuiteDistantFromBAndWhenIDidTryIHatedHowSoreMyNipplesWere
#IJustReallyDidNotEnjoyMyBreastfeedingExperienceWithHerThoughIWasSadWhenItEndedEarlierThanIHopedItWould
#ThenIFeltLikeIWasRemindedAboutMyQuoteFailureUnquoteConstantlyOnSocialMedia
#OfCourseIKnowThatWritingLikeThisMightMakeOthersFeelBadAndEvenSayingThatBreastfeedingIsGoingBetterThisTimeMightBeHardForOthersToHear
#LHasPositionalTalipesSoIAmHavingToMassageTheInsidesOfHerFeet
#TheLastCoupleOfDaysIHaveManagedToTakeThemOutByMyselfWhichHasGreatlyImprovedMyMood
#WeBoughtAPushchairThatCouldExpandToHoldTwoKidsNotKnowingIfWeWouldHaveTwoKidsButObviouslyHopingSo
#ItIsABitOfATankToPushButBSeemsToLikeHerNewSeatAndIsOkayAtBeingPutInItRatherThanRunningAround
#TheMoreTiredIAmAndMoreStuckAtHomeIFeelTheMoreEmotionalIAmSoIAmTryingToHelpMyselfBeTheBestVersionOfMyself
#IHadAGoodCryWhenTiagoWentBackToWorkAndIWasTryingToFigureOutHowToLookAfterBothOfThemByMyselfAsNapTimeApproached
#IFeelLikeINeedToNotOverDoThingsThoughAsOtherwiseIGetQuiteAchyAndINeedToNotDoSomeHeavyLiftingForAWhile
#ThatIsHardAsBFeelsReallyHeavyToMeNowButINeedToLimitHowOftenIPickHerUp
#LuckilySheIsMoreOfADaddysGirlAndDoesNotMindMeHoldingLAllTheTime
#UnfortunatelyItIsToughForTiagoWhenHeWantsToHoldLForABitAsBThenWantsToBeHeldToo
#SheDoesSoonSeemToGetOverItButWeJustNeedToKeepAnEyeOnBothOfThem
#BIsInAThrowingStageStillAndThrewMyShoeAtLWhichIsNotGood
#ICanUnderstandThatSheMustBeGettingSoFrustratedAtNotBeingAbleToExpressHerselfProperly
#IAmGoingToSignLUpForAClassToGoToWhileBIsAtNurseryJustToGetOutOfTheHouse
#CovidRulesAreLessStrictOrPrettyMuchNonExistentButIStillFeelCautious

#IAmWritingThisOnThe25thWithTheHopeThatWeWillDoAFamilyPortraitOverTheWeekend

I think it will be chaotic, but it will be nice to have a record of our early days together. (Well, we managed it a couple of days later. I was dreading it all day, but it actually went quite well. Phew!)

#ICanNotBelieveThatLIsTwoWeeksOldAlreadyThoughItAlsoSeemsLikeSheIsALotOlder

I went from feeling so unprepared to just getting on with it.

#SheIsSoAlertAndIDefinitelyFeelALotMoreRelaxedWithHerThanIWasWithBAtThisPoint

I guess I knew how to look after a newborn, but it does feel like a long time since B was so small (and she was smaller as she was 6 pounds 4 when born and L was 9 pounds 9).

#ThoughIAmStillYetToBatheHerByMyselfAndSheHasALotOfMilkSpotsAndDrySkin

At least her neck is stronger, but I do not enjoy the early days of cleaning and changing – she feels so fragile.

#IFeelBetterThoughAsBreastfeedingIsGoingSoWellAndSoIDoNotHaveToFaffSoMuchThisTime

I’ve pumped (well more massaged) a couple of times, though not in a week, but I hope I will not have to do much of it. I just get worried about getting mastitis, but now I know that if she does not have it all now she might have it at the next feed.

#WeHadToTakeHerOutToAnAppointmentToGetWeighedAndSheHadOnlyPutOn20gSoWeHadToGoBackTwoDaysLater

Getting a newborn ready for appointments is a stress. Luckily B had nursery during the appointments.

#ThatTimeSheHadPutOn60gAndWasOverHerBirthWeightSoWeHaveBothBeenDischarged

Hurrah.

#AtThisPointBabiesAreSoSmallThatTheWeightDifferenceMightBeLargelyDownToWhetherOrNotTheyHaveBeenToTheToiletRecentlyThoughIThink

The second time we were late as she was hungry and I thought it might make the difference between her being over or under. We arrived and they were running late anyways, so had to wait for a while. Tiago just waited in the car and worked both times.

#IWasWorriedThatMaybeMyMilkWasNotGoodEnoughAndWeWouldHaveToSupplementSoItWasARelief

I think she just burns it off quickly as she is so alert and often does not sleep for two hours.

#BreastfeedingLHasMadeMeRealiseHowMuchGuiltIHaveOverFeedingB #IThinkAsIStruggledSoMuchInTheBeginningItJustMadeMeWantToPumpAndIAskedTiagoToFeedHerALot #ThisMeantIWasQuiteDistantFromBAndWhenIDidTryIHatedHowSoreMyNipplesWere #IJustReallyDidNotEnjoyMyBreastfeedingExperienceWithHerThoughIWasSadWhenItEndedEarlierThanIHopedItWould

I think I purposely made myself distant from B as I felt so bad about breastfeeding. I was also not letting Tiago get the sleep he needed, so I think it is much better this time around.

#ThenIFeltLikeIWasRemindedAboutMyQuoteFailureUnquoteConstantlyOnSocialMedia

I follow a lot of mothering/parenting accounts and so I felt like I was just constantly reminded of what a rubbish job I was doing.

My nipples have been sore this time, but as I could not feed her with nipple shields I just had to persevere and it’s alright. I still need to correct her latch at times.

#OfCourseIKnowThatWritingLikeThisMightMakeOthersFeelBadAndEvenSayingThatBreastfeedingIsGoingBetterThisTimeMightBeHardForOthersToHear

This post isn’t to make others feel bad, I just want to say how I feel and how I felt.

#LHasPositionalTalipesSoIAmHavingToMassageTheInsidesOfHerFeet

B had some form of talipes – I just searched on my blog and she also had positional talipes, though I never got told to do the massage with her. B had to wear double nappies for a bit due to clicky hips.

#TheLastCoupleOfDaysIHaveManagedToTakeThemOutByMyselfWhichHasGreatlyImprovedMyMood

Feeling like I’m not just stuck in the house makes a big difference – and preparing to leave the house takes up a lot of time which helps to pass time.

#WeBoughtAPushchairThatCouldExpandToHoldTwoKidsNotKnowingIfWeWouldHaveTwoKidsButObviouslyHopingSo

So it’s worked out well.

#ItIsABitOfATankToPushButBSeemsToLikeHerNewSeatAndIsOkayAtBeingPutInItRatherThanRunningAround

Before I’d let her walk a bit or walk all the way to the playground. Maybe I will again at some point but for now it is better if she sits in her seat. This seat is better as she can not wriggle down and escape like she could in her old one – where she used to sit is now the bassinet with L.

#TheMoreTiredIAmAndMoreStuckAtHomeIFeelTheMoreEmotionalIAmSoIAmTryingToHelpMyselfBeTheBestVersionOfMyself

I think I will have a lie down after this if L isn’t awake by then.

#IHadAGoodCryWhenTiagoWentBackToWorkAndIWasTryingToFigureOutHowToLookAfterBothOfThemByMyselfAsNapTimeApproached

My Mum had gone home and I suddenly felt overwhelmed. I felt better after the nap. The next time I let B eat lunch in the living room instead and it was a lot more relaxed.

#IFeelLikeINeedToNotOverDoThingsThoughAsOtherwiseIGetQuiteAchyAndINeedToNotDoSomeHeavyLiftingForAWhile

My body went through a lot carrying and pushing out a 9 pounds 9 baby so I definitely need to be kinder to myself.

#ThatIsHardAsBFeelsReallyHeavyToMeNowButINeedToLimitHowOftenIPickHerUp

Yesterday I picked her up a lot and then made dinner (enchiladas that I slaved over for ages and were quite disappointing). I need to make quicker meals and sit down more…

#LuckilySheIsMoreOfADaddysGirlAndDoesNotMindMeHoldingLAllTheTime

Phew – must be hard for people whose oldest is the opposite.

#UnfortunatelyItIsToughForTiagoWhenHeWantsToHoldLForABitAsBThenWantsToBeHeldToo

🙁

#SheDoesSoonSeemToGetOverItButWeJustNeedToKeepAnEyeOnBothOfThem

After a walk I will leave L in her bassinet to finish her nap and it seems like a safe place to leave her while I try to make dinner.

#BIsInAThrowingStageStillAndThrewMyShoeAtLWhichIsNotGood

She brought my shoes to me (without me asking) before we went for a walk. I thought she might throw one so I took it off her, turned around to do up the baby carrier and turned back to see my other shoe bouncing and L started to cry…

#ICanUnderstandThatSheMustBeGettingSoFrustratedAtNotBeingAbleToExpressHerselfProperly

Terrible twos are coming. I don’t think she’s terrible and I think she’s a good kid, but yeah the frustrations of not being able to communicate as you would like must be hard.

#IAmGoingToSignLUpForAClassToGoToWhileBIsAtNurseryJustToGetOutOfTheHouse

At this point the class is definitely more for me than for her. I’m sure she won’t mind.

#CovidRulesAreLessStrictOrPrettyMuchNonExistentButIStillFeelCautious

Luckily the teacher of the class I want to do still seems to want to keep precautions in place. Phew.


Thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying my blog (and/or the work I make) please consider supporting me by ‘buying me a coffee’ on Ko-fi – thanks!

Categories
Oh Me, Oh Mãe II

The Story So Far (14th / 16th February 2022)

(Photos from 14th February – text from 16th February.

The images are new versions of these photos: I Have A Lot Of Respect For My Body And What It Did.)

25th May 2022: Again I feel awkward posting these images. The problem with posting so out of sync is I have a completely different relationship to the images by the time I post them…

#WeCouldHaveBeenDischargedFromTheHospitalOnTheSameDayAsLsBirthButIWantedToStayOneNightToMakeSureThatBreastfeedingWasGoingOkay

I originally got kept in hospital with B due to breastfeeding problems – and then she had jaundice.

#SheLatchedOnAnHourAfterBeingBornAndNoOneFromTheBreastfeedingTeamEvenCameToSeeUs

I was a bit annoyed that no one bothered, but to be honest I did not need their help.

#WithBIReallyStruggledWithBreastfeedingAndDuringOur4DayStayInHospitalItFeltLikeEveryoneHadSeenMyBoobsAndTriedToHelpUs

I did not ask anyone else for help after the midwife who was there for L’s birth helped me.

#IHadBeenDreadingBreastfeedingAgainSoItCameAsANiceSurpriseThatItWasSoMuchEasierThisTime

A couple of midwives did a home check and checked the latch and could hear L drinking quite noisily. I do not remember B drinking so loudly, but at this point with B I was expressing a lot.

#MyNipplesWereSoSoreAfterAFewDaysThatIWantedToUseNippleShieldsButICouldNotGetLToFeedWithThemWhichHasNowPaidOffAsMyNipplesHaveToughenedUpMore

It was so painful. I’ve been alternating between a couple of different creams – Lansinoh and Weleda Nipple balm (I never used the Weleda one with B).

#IWishIHadNotStayedANightInHospitalThoughAsIObviouslyDoNotDoWellInSuchPlaces

I was miserable. I did also want one night there to just adjust before going home to being a Mum of 2. At least Tiago got a good night of sleep.

#WeEndedUpStayingInTheDeliverySuiteFor8HoursAfterTheBirthAsTheyCouldNotMoveMeToAWardUntilMyCovidResultsCameIn

And the staff were so overworked. I think it was a combination of things.

#TheyDidTestsOnMeAndTiagoAt1InTheMorningAndBy10TheyStillDidNotHaveTheResultsSoTheyMadeMeDoARapidTestAndOnceThoseResultsCameInICouldBeMoved

The lab got the tests at 6.30 in the morning.

#TiagosResultsHadStillNotArrivedAndSoWeCouldEitherWaitOrICouldMoveAndHeCouldGoHome #SoWeSaidHeShouldGoHomeAndTakeOverLookingAfterBFromMyMum

I was a bit annoyed by the whole situation, but what else could we do.

#TypicallyLNeededToFeedAsWeWereAboutToMoveSoIFedHerWhileIGetWheeledThroughABusyWaitingRoom

I felt so awkward being wheeled past so many people. I just kept my head down and looked at L.

#OnTheWardIHadNoBedSoISatInMyCurtainedSpaceFeedingLAndEatingAVegetableCurry

I think another reason the breastfeeding team never came is because the staff were ‘so impressed’ (their words) that I was feeding the baby and feeding myself already. Fair enough. They closed the curtains and it wasn’t until the next day I noticed that it said to keep the curtains open unless you’re dressing or feeding, so this probably also didn’t help with making me feel so lonely.

#TheOther3WomenOnTheWardLeftNotLongAfterIArrivedAndTheirReplacementsHadTheirBirthPartnersWithThemUntil8InTheEveningSoISatAloneFor8HoursListeningToThemAllTalking #YesIDidGetUpset

Your birth partner was allowed to stay with you until the end of visiting hours, but if you had been there for a day already they were only allowed to visit for 4 hours. I was okay until I started to get really sleep deprived and then the crying started.

#LSleptWellInHerCotDuringTheDayButAtNightSheWouldNotSettle

She would sleep for 10 minutes, I’d feed her, she’d sleep for 10 minutes and repeat. No wonder my nipples were sore…

#IDidNotSleepInTheDeliverySuiteAsIFeltUnableToButIWasAlsoWaitingToBeMovedToTheWard

I thought we’d move then Tiago could hold the baby while I had a nap etc – things I missed out on with B.

#IHadToCallTheOverworkedMidwivesTwiceToTakeLFromMeForALittleBitSoICouldGetSomeSleep

I was starting to get hysterical. I called for help and they offered to take her. They had her for an hour and a half I think. Later I called again and they probably took her for half an hour – I woke up to her crying. As I was the only one without ward visitors I think I was also the most annoying one as no one else really buzzed for help.

#LuckilyIHadHadANapTheDayBeforeButAsLWasBornAt3InTheMorningIHadNotSleptSinceThen

Luckily I made myself nap as I kept saying maybe this is my last chance. With B my waters broke at 1am and I had about an hour or two of sleep. B was born in the afternoon though.

#LWasMoreThanHappyToSleepOnTheShouldersOfTheMidwivesWhileTheyWentAboutTheirWork

Phew.

#TiagoCameInAfterLunchToSeeUsAndToTakeUsHomeOnceWeGotDischarged

Hurrah. It was nice to see his face and feel less alone. I even started to chat to the other women. Their babies were all 5/6 pounds and I realised how big L was… (L was 9 pounds 9.)

#LCriedAllTheWayThroughHerExamAndIHadToHoldHerTheWholeTimeWhichTheMidwifeSaidWasAFirstForHer

She said she’d never had to examine a baby while they were in their Mum’s arms the whole time before. I find it hard to believe, but whatever.

#ThatNightSheWouldNotSleepInHerCotAgainAndTiagoHadToHaveHerOnHisChestSoThatICouldGetSomeSleep

When she slept she slept well though.

#MySisterRecommendedASleepingBagWhereTheyHaveTheirArmsUpRatherThanDown

With B she had sleeping bags where the arms can be in or out. I bought some 0-3 month ones for L and I couldn’t get her in them, so she was in B’s 3-9 month ones. She’d nap fine in them during the day, but at night – nope.

#AMumOnALocalWhatsappGroupWhoIHadNeverMetBeforeLentUsOneAndSheSleptSoWellOnceSheWasInIt

They are pricey, delivery was a few days and I doubted that it would make such a difference. Well, it made a huge difference.

#IAmDefinitelyRestingMoreThanIDidAfterHavingBAtThisPointButOnceTiagoIsBackAtWorkItWillBeABitDifferent

L is currently asleep, so I am going to try to nap once I finish this.

#IThinkThingsAreDefinitelyGoingBetterWithLThanTheyWereWithBAtThisPointButIDoGetVeryEmotionalWhenIDoNotSleep

Yesterday I did cry quite a bit. L had some long periods of being awake where I just felt like a milk machine and got upset. Tiago let her sleep on his chest in the end and I got some rest. Hurrah.

#TheOtherNightMyAfterPainsWereSoBadThatICheckedOn111AndItSaidWithAllMySymptomsIShouldCall999

I swear I never had afterpains with B. I had a couple of blood clots and my blood got heavier. I was crying with pain and it was awful. Labour wasn’t as bad as the pains…

#TheAmbulancesAreSoOverworkedThatAClinicianCalledInsteadWhichIWasHappyAboutAndByTheEndOfTheCallMyPainsHadStartedToSubsideButTheySaidToCallAMidwifeOrDoctorInTheMorning

I really did not want them to send an ambulance.

#AMidwifeCalledToBookAnAppointmentWithMeForNextWeekButCameOutToSeeUsAsSheWasConcernedButLuckilyAllIsFine

I had called my Doctors and they had arranged for someone to call me in the afternoon. Then the midwife called and could come to see me before the Doctors. It’s so much easier having someone come to the house.

#BIsTakingWellToBeingABigSisterThoughSheDoesNotKnowHerOwnStrengthWhenShePutsHerHeadToLsForAKissAndSheLikesToPointToLsNoseWhichIsFineButIHaveToSayCarefulALotWhenSheGoesToTouchLsEyes

I was worried about how it would be, but B seems to like having another little human around. When she points to L’s nose she says ‘no’ or something like that. The headbutting thing for a kiss is still funny. It’s very cute. I hope they get on well when they’re older.


Thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying my blog (and/or the work I make) please consider supporting me by ‘buying me a coffee’ on Ko-fi – thanks!

Categories
Pregnancy Waiting II

Imitating B In A Box (22 Weeks / 29th September 2021)

Self-portrait where I am sat in a grey fabric box. I am wearing a grey dress with black polka dots, and black leggings. My hands are tucking my hair behind my ears.
Imitating B In A Box (22 Weeks / 29th September 2021)
 
#BHasBeenClimbingInBoxesForAWhileButSheEspeciallyLikesThisOneWhichIsInOurBedroom
#WeUsuallyKeepHerPlayTilesInItAndAFewOtherThingsButIGuessIWillHaveToEmptyItToTryToGetInItAtAll
#IHaveRealisedLatelyThatALotOfTheImitationPhotosAreSimilarToPhotosIHaveTakenOfMyselfInThePast
#ButIWasJustDoingThemThenToTryToThinkOfNewWaysToPhotographMyselfOrToJustBeRandom
#TheOtherDayIWasEatingMyLunchAndBSuddenlyStartedToSoundUpsetAndKeptLookingTowardsTheWindow
#IWasABitScaredOfWhatIWouldFindButItWasAWaspActingABitWeirdAndLookingLikeItWasTrailingSomeLiquidBehindIt
#IThoughtBMustHaveBeenStungAsWeHaveSeenALotOfWaspsLatelyAndITryToRemainCalmWhenTheyAreAroundMe
#IWentToGetTiagoAndHeNoticedSomethingOnHerFingerWhichHeRemovedAndTurnedOutToBeAStinger
#LuckilyIWasWaitingForADoctorToCallBackAboutTheDrySkinOnHerNeckAndWhenSheFinallyRangSheSaidToJustKeepAnEyeOnIt
#HerFingerWasABitRedAndSwollenButSheDidNotSeemBotheredByItAndItHasHealedWell
#IAmJustGladThatSheWasNotAllergicToItAndIGuessSheMustHaveTriedToTouchTheWaspOrSomethingWhichIsWhyItStungHer
#TheOtherNightTiagoWasLyingDownInTheLivingRoomPlayingWithBsBallAndItHitAGlassAndHeJumpedUpVeryFast
#HisReactionPlusMeGettingABitAnnoyedProbablyScaredBABitAndHerLipStartedToQuiver
#ISaidDoYouWantACuddleAndWeHadAVeryLovelyCuddleButItIsAShameThatIOnlyGetThemWhenSheIsWorried
#AtLeastTheseDaysItIsLessOfAChoreToBrushHerTeethAndSheWasEvenBrushingHerTeethHerselfAfterwardsLastNight
#IHaveFinallyStartedToFeelABitBroodyAfterSeeingSomeParentsWithSmallBabiesAtTheWeekendWhenWeWentToAnExhibitionOpening
#IAlsoFoundSomePicturesOfBWhenSheWasLessThanAWeekOldAndICanNotBelieveHowMuchSheHasChangedInFifteenMonths
#IGuessItIsGoodThatIAmFeelingABitBroodyAsTimeIsPassingQuicklyButIDoWorryHowItWillBeLookingAfterANewbornAgain
#IAmNotReallyLookingForwardToItAsIFeelABitNervousAboutBreastfeedingAgainButHopefullyItGoesBetterThisTime
#IAmAlsoNotLookingForwardToHavingToGetUpLotsInTheNightButIKnowTheTimeWillFlyByAndBeforeWeKnowItWeWillHaveTwoToddlers
#SheIsStartingToReallyMoveAboutNowAndLastNightItFeltLikeSheWasTicklingMyInsides
#TheWeatherHasBeenReallyRubbishSoIHaveFeltABitTrappedIndoorsAgain
#ThisMorningTheWeatherWasNiceButItTookMeTwentyMinutesToFindBsSecondShoeWhichTurnedOutToBeInTheWashingMachine
#ByTheTimeIFoundItItWasNearlyTimeForHerNapSoWeHadAVeryShortWalkWhichTurnedIntoMeJustCarryingBAboutAsSheWasMoreInterestedInTwigsThanWalking
#NanGotHerBoosterShotWhichIsGoodNewsThoughSheHadToWaitAnHourForIt
#VaccinesUsedToBeSoOrganisedSoIAmNotSureWhatHasHappenedThoughMaybeFuelPanicBuyingHasNotHelped
#TiagoMadeEveryoneSalmonForDinnerLastNightAndEverytimeTheyHaveFishForDinnerMyNanAsksIfIEatItTooAndIJustSayYesNowAsItIsEasierThanArguing
#SheSaidWeMustStartHavingItTwiceAWeekAsItIsSoGoodForMeAndTheBaby
#IHaveNotEatenFishOrMeatIntentionallySinceIWasAbout15AndBTurnedOutFine
#WhenTiagoCanTellIWantMyNanToStopTalkingAboutSomethingHeAsksHerIfSheWantsACupOfTeaOrDessertToMoveHerOffTheSubjectOrToDistractHer

#BHasBeenClimbingInBoxesForAWhileButSheEspeciallyLikesThisOneWhichIsInOurBedroom #WeUsuallyKeepHerPlayTilesInItAndAFewOtherThingsButIGuessIWillHaveToEmptyItToTryToGetInItAtAll

I am not sure when it started, but I guess during some of her online zoom classes we were supposed to put our kids in a clothes basket or something, so I put B in a box instead.

She was all cute sticking her head out of the top of it, but sadly I won’t be able to do that as I’m too big.

#IHaveRealisedLatelyThatALotOfTheImitationPhotosAreSimilarToPhotosIHaveTakenOfMyselfInThePast

I guess this one will resemble me sitting in a bag in 2012.

Maybe that’s a show idea – me pre-kids in projects, with more recent photos of imitating B but the concepts being similar.

#ButIWasJustDoingThemThenToTryToThinkOfNewWaysToPhotographMyselfOrToJustBeRandom

Oh the days where I just had time to be random.

#TheOtherDayIWasEatingMyLunchAndBSuddenlyStartedToSoundUpsetAndKeptLookingTowardsTheWindow
#IWasABitScaredOfWhatIWouldFindButItWasAWaspActingABitWeirdAndLookingLikeItWasTrailingSomeLiquidBehindIt

Weird as in it was at first just kind of lying on the floor on its back, and then it started to go up the window trailing liquid.

#IThoughtBMustHaveBeenStungAsWeHaveSeenALotOfWaspsLatelyAndITryToRemainCalmWhenTheyAreAroundMe

I had a wasp stuck in my hair the other day at the playground and I could hear it buzzing, I still remained calm though. Tiago likes to swat them away, which I don’t think is a good idea – I have told him that.

#IWentToGetTiagoAndHeNoticedSomethingOnHerFingerWhichHeRemovedAndTurnedOutToBeAStinger

I had looked at B and she seemed okay, and didn’t seem obviously stung. It wasn’t like she was waving her finger around or showed it to me.

#LuckilyIWasWaitingForADoctorToCallBackAboutTheDrySkinOnHerNeckAndWhenSheFinallyRangSheSaidToJustKeepAnEyeOnIt

An eye on the sting. We got a prescription for hydrocortisone again for the neck – she had started to scratch it a lot again, so I thought I had better call.

#HerFingerWasABitRedAndSwollenButSheDidNotSeemBotheredByItAndItHasHealedWell

She really did not seem that bothered apart from when she was looking at the wasp. I think she was just annoyed at the wasp/upset that it had hurt her.

#IAmJustGladThatSheWasNotAllergicToItAndIGuessSheMustHaveTriedToTouchTheWaspOrSomethingWhichIsWhyItStungHer

I did closely monitor her after. I am not sure if I have ever been stung by one, but it is good to know that she reacted well to it all.

#TheOtherNightTiagoWasLyingDownInTheLivingRoomPlayingWithBsBallAndItHitAGlassAndHeJumpedUpVeryFast
#HisReactionPlusMeGettingABitAnnoyedProbablyScaredBABitAndHerLipStartedToQuiver
#ISaidDoYouWantACuddleAndWeHadAVeryLovelyCuddleButItIsAShameThatIOnlyGetThemWhenSheIsWorried

I always ask her if I can have a cuddle and she ignores me, which is fair enough as I did ask her question and the answer is obviously no. On this occasion though she came to me and it was very lovely, but yeah I don’t want her to get upset/scared frequently just so I can have nice cuddles.

#AtLeastTheseDaysItIsLessOfAChoreToBrushHerTeethAndSheWasEvenBrushingHerTeethHerselfAfterwardsLastNight

It may or may not be down to me singing the Something Special theme, though now we also play it on our ‘listening device’ and I think she enjoys it a lot more. I also try to make sure she sees me brushing my teeth, so she knows she isn’t the only one who has to do it.

#IHaveFinallyStartedToFeelABitBroodyAfterSeeingSomeParentsWithSmallBabiesAtTheWeekendWhenWeWentToAnExhibitionOpening

A baby asleep in the arms of a man while he waited outside the toilet. Aww.

#IAlsoFoundSomePicturesOfBWhenSheWasLessThanAWeekOldAndICanNotBelieveHowMuchSheHasChangedInFifteenMonths

Awwwww. It is strange how much they do change in a short space of time.

#IGuessItIsGoodThatIAmFeelingABitBroodyAsTimeIsPassingQuicklyButIDoWorryHowItWillBeLookingAfterANewbornAgain

I am excited to meet the little one, but…

#IAmNotReallyLookingForwardToItAsIFeelABitNervousAboutBreastfeedingAgainButHopefullyItGoesBetterThisTime

I am not really looking forward to the sensations of it all (heavy boobs, clogged boobs etc.) and feeling like my body is being taken over, but I am sure it will be fine.

#IAmAlsoNotLookingForwardToHavingToGetUpLotsInTheNightButIKnowTheTimeWillFlyByAndBeforeWeKnowItWeWillHaveTwoToddlers

We are lucky that B sleeps well at night (due to sleep training), but the time will fly by and then we might be sad that we will never have a little baby again.

#SheIsStartingToReallyMoveAboutNowAndLastNightItFeltLikeSheWasTicklingMyInsides

I originally wrote ‘they are’ as for a minute I forgot that I know it is a girl and that I will have revealed it by now. Yesterday for some reason I thought I was having a boy. My brain… (I actually only corrected one ‘they are’.)

#TheWeatherHasBeenReallyRubbishSoIHaveFeltABitTrappedIndoorsAgain

I need to just get B in her puddle suit and get on with things.

#ThisMorningTheWeatherWasNiceButItTookMeTwentyMinutesToFindBsSecondShoeWhichTurnedOutToBeInTheWashingMachine

I was relieved when I saw it through the door, and it was not wet. I was worried she had put it in the bin…

#ByTheTimeIFoundItItWasNearlyTimeForHerNapSoWeHadAVeryShortWalkWhichTurnedIntoMeJustCarryingBAboutAsSheWasMoreInterestedInTwigsThanWalking

I thought I would let her walk as I knew we did not have time to go far, but it’s not great when you don’t have much time. I should have just let her wander…

#NanGotHerBoosterShotWhichIsGoodNewsThoughSheHadToWaitAnHourForIt
#VaccinesUsedToBeSoOrganisedSoIAmNotSureWhatHasHappenedThoughMaybeFuelPanicBuyingHasNotHelped

I had mine last week before the panic buying had kicked in though. *shrug* I think maybe they’re booking in too many booster shots? Who knows.

#TiagoMadeEveryoneSalmonForDinnerLastNightAndEverytimeTheyHaveFishForDinnerMyNanAsksIfIEatItTooAndIJustSayYesNowAsItIsEasierThanArguing

I used to tell the truth, and get annoyed, so T says just say ‘okay’ and ‘yes’ and it does make things easier.

#SheSaidWeMustStartHavingItTwiceAWeekAsItIsSoGoodForMeAndTheBaby

Roll my eyes.

#IHaveNotEatenFishOrMeatIntentionallySinceIWasAbout15AndBTurnedOutFine

B does eat fish, and my Nan feeds her meat when she eats – I’m not happy about it, but Tiago wants her to eat meat. This is a bigger topic for another day, that I will probably never revisit as I do not have the energy to.

I’m not saying this stuff to be mean about my Nan. I’m just a bit fed up with being a woman in my 30s and getting told by people what I should and should not eat while pregnant.

(I say intentionally as there have been a few mishaps in restaurants, and in foreign countries – Japan with supermarket rice balls especially – where I have accidentally had a bit of meat or fish.)

#WhenTiagoCanTellIWantMyNanToStopTalkingAboutSomethingHeAsksHerIfSheWantsACupOfTeaOrDessertToMoveHerOffTheSubjectOrToDistractHer

The other day he knew I just wanted to eat my dinner in peace (I don’t like to talk much while eating), so he gave Nan some dessert. I like his new strategy. You can’t say it’s mean, as Nan is quite happy with her food/tea.

22 weeks pregnant with B comparison:

Self-portrait in a maternity bra and leggings. I am clasping my hands together and stretching them behind my back. I have a small bump.
It Is A Struggle To Roll Over In Bed (22 weeks)
 
#AFewDaysAgoIDidAShootWhereISaidIThinkIWillMissHavingABump
#IThinkIRomanticisedItABitTooMuch
#IKeepStandingUpTooQuickAndGettingPains
#ItIsAStruggleToRollOverInBed
#IHaveToSitUpFirstThenTurnOver
#RepositioningMyselfToTryToPickSomethingUpOffTheFloor
#OnAFlightAnOlderWomanDroppedSomethingOnTheFloorAcrossTheAisle
#ICouldFeelHerLookingAtMeLikeAreYouGoingToPickItUpForMe
#InMyHeadIWasLikeIAmNotTheBestPersonToPickItUp
#IWouldHaveHadToUndoMySeatbeltAndGetOutOfMySeatAndReachAwkwardlyToGetIt
#WhichMaybeIShouldHaveDone
#ButIGetAnxiousAboutGettingUpOnFlightsAndAvoidItIfICan
#IHaveHadToStretchInTheMorningAndEveningAndABitDuringTheDayToHelpWithPains
#ButIGuessILikeHavingTheBumpButIWillNotMissTheOtherStuff
#IThinkILikeItMainlyAsIDoNotFeelSelfConsciousAboutIt
#ThoughAWomanWasStaringAtMyBumpTheOtherDayAndIFoundItOdd
#SoMaybeIWillGetSelfConsciousAboutItInADifferentWay
#IGuessIAmStillAtThePointWhereRandomPeopleLookAtMeLikeIsShePregnantOrNot
#IUsedToNoticeWomenWithBumpsWhenIWasTryingToGetPregnant
#AndIDidNotMeanToStareButIGuessYouLookThenThinkAboutThings
#MainlyIWouldBeThinkingIsThatEverGoingToHappenToMe
#MyStomachHasNeverBeenAndNeverWillBeMyFavouriteBodyPart
#ItIsWeirdDoingAProjectWhereItIsTheMainFocus
#TheBabysMovementsAreGettingMoreTicklish
#ItIsFunnyExplainingHowItFeelsToPeople
#ThisLittleThingPawingAtYouAndTicklingYouFromTheInside
#ItIsSuperWeird
#AFriendSawTheLastScanPicAndSaidThatTheBabyLooksLikeJeremyCorbyn
#IAmLikeWellAtLeastTheyDidNotSayBorisJohnson
#WeHaveADateForTheFollowUpScanNowSoHopefullyThingsGoOkay

I think this time I just know how to get up easier.

Trying to pick stuff off the floor is annoying though.

At a restaurant last night the waitress dropped a fork on the floor. I looked to see what it was and she said ‘don’t worry about it’. I just pointed to my bump (I’m 26 weeks at the time of writing this) and said ‘it would be hard for me anyways’.

I guess I do look at people to see if they look pregnant these days too.

I was thinking about bellies being the main focus again today actually. It is odd. There was an episode of Yakka Dee on and it was all about tummies, which made me think about it.

I feel like though I have felt some tickles this time, it just felt more like kicks earlier on. Maybe it’s to do with where the placenta is?

Self-portrait with Tiago. My head is cut off and Tiago is next to my bump. I am wearing a black maternity bra and leggings, and Tiago is wearing a black top. He is clean shaven.
I Have Told Him Before That If He Wants To Touch The Bump Then He Has To Make Sure His Hands Are Warm (22 and a half weeks)
 
#IKeepGettingAdsForPregnancyPhotoShoots
#SoIThoughtIBetterTakeMoreOfOurOwn
#IWantedTiagoToRestHisHeadOnTheBump
#ButHeThoughtISaidForHimToPutHisHandsOnIt
#AndTheyWereFREEZING
#IHaveToldHimBeforeThatIfHeWantsToTouchTheBumpThenHeHasToMakeSureHisHandsAreWarm
#ThereIsAnOuttakeOfHimLaughingBecauseISaidNotHisHandsButHisHead
#AnywaysTheBumpContinuesToGrow
#IAmAtThePointNowWhereFoodCrumbsGetStuckOnTheTopOfIt
#TryingToMonitorTheMovementsStillStressesMeOut
#WhenICanFeelItMoveIFeelRelaxed
#WhenICanNotIFeelStressed
#ThisMorningTiagoWentForAShowerAndCameBackToFindMeJustLyingInBedWatchingMyBump
#IAmTryingToFaffLessOnMyPhoneSoItItOneWayOfDoingItIGuess
#WhoNeedsTechnologyWhenYouHaveAnOldFashionedBump
#ThatIsMonitoredInAllTheNewTechnologyWays
#IWasReadingAboutBraxtonHicksTheOtherDay
#IHaveNeverHeardAboutItInAllOfMyLife
#BasicallyItIsWhenYourBodyPracticesContractions
#SoNowIAmLikeWasThatAHiccupFromTheBabyOrABraxtonHicksContraction
#ItIsAFunGame
#INeedToStartThinkingAboutLookingMoreIntoHypnobirthingAndStuffNow
#AsTimeIsFlyingBy
#AndAFriendSaidThatHerFriendGaveBirthAt30Weeks
#SoIFeelLikeINeedToGetMorePrepared
#INeedToStartThinkingMoreAboutPushchairsAndAllThatStuffToo
#ThereIsSoMuchToChooseFromWhichIsAnnoying
#WeAreGoingToABabyShowSoonWhichSoundsLikeMyIdeaOfHellButIAmHopingItWillBeUseful
#TwoPeopleInTheLastWeekHaveToldMeThatILookPale
#WhichHasConcernedMeButIThinkItIsJustBecauseTheWinterIsJustDraggingOnAndMyBodyHasYetToUtiliseItsTemporarySkillOfRetainingATanForLonger

I haven’t had an ad for a pregnancy shoot yet. Disappointing but maybe it’s because I keep rejecting cookies.

I’m yet to take any bump photos with Tiago this time, but he is busy with work and then sometimes he is watching B while I do a shoot. Actually we have been doing family portraits so I guess that is something? But not a shoot like this anyways.

I still can’t tell the difference between a kick and a Braxton Hicks…


Thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying my blog (and/or the work I make) please consider supporting me by ‘buying me a coffee’ on Ko-fi – thanks!

Categories
Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Tiago’s Second Home Haircut (26th December 2020)

Tiago’s Second Home Haircut (26th December 2020)
 
#IAmWritingThisAt6ThirtyInTheMorningAsBHasAlreadyBeenUpForAboutAnHour
#SheHasBeenWakingUpACoupleOfTimesInTheNightButSleepingQuiteWellInGeneral
#SoLastNightWeStayedUpLateWatchingPearlHarbourWhichIHadRecordedACoupleOfWeeksAgo
#TheNightBeforeWeHadStayedUpNotAsLateWatchingADocumentaryAboutTheBeeGees
#IThinkTonightItWillBeAnEarlyNightForUsThoughWeWillProbablyNapWhenSheHasHerFirstNap
#TiagoHasFourDaysOffForXmasSoIHaveBeenHavingALittleMoreOfABreak
#IFeelGuiltyAboutItThough
#YesterdayIFeltLikeICouldHaveStayedInBedForAWeekAsISuddenlyFeltSoDown
#TheCodingCourseSeemsALotHarderAndIAmHavingALotLessFeelingSmartMoments
#YesIDidDoABitOfCodingAndGeneralWorkOnChristmasDay
#ItIsStillAboutAnotherWeekUntilMyPhoneCallAssessmentWithTheServiceThatMyHealthVisitorSuggested
#IAmFindingItHardToSeeSocialMediaPostsAboutPeopleAndTheirBabies
#IThinkItIsBecauseItAllLooksSoEasyForEveryoneElseThoughIKnowThatEveryoneOnlyUsuallyTriesToShowTheirBestSelvesOnSocialMedia
#AfterGoingToTheHairdressersIRealisedThatTheCystOnMyHeadIsQuiteVisibleNow
#WellItIsMoreTheBaldPatchThatSurroundsIt
#IHaveProbablyHadItForAtLeastAYearAndAHalfButItHasGotBiggerAsIMessWithItWhenIGetStressed
#AndPregnancyAndCovidAndThingsHaveBeenStressful
#IAmTalkingAboutItNowToShameMyselfIntoStopMessingWithItButIKnowThatIWillProbablyNot
#ICouldGetItRemovedButApparentlyTheyUsuallyGrowBack
#IJustSearchEnginedCystOnHeadAndIFeelABitBetterAboutItAllAsThereAreSomeHugeOnesOutThere
#AnywaysWeReallyNeedToMoveBOutOfTheBassinetOnHerCotAndIntoTheBottomBit
#ItIsRidiculousHowMuchSheHasGrownIn6Months
#IGuessWeAreStallingBecauseItWillBeALotMoreAnnoyingToGetHerOutOfItAndWeWillNotBeAbleToRockHerAsEasily
#YesterdayWeMadeHerSomeNiceMealsButSheDidNotSeemThatIntoThem
#WhichIsProbablyWhySheWokeUpSoEarlyTodayAsWhenSheEatsWellSheSeemsToSleepBetter
#IThinkIHaveFinallyGivenUpWithBreastfeedingNowAsSheHasHadAFewDaysOfNotWantingToBreastfeedSoIGaveUpAFewDaysAgo
#IThinkIFindItDifficultSeeingSoManyPostsAndReferencesAboutBreastfeedingAsIFeelABitGuiltyAboutItThoughItWasUltimatelyBsChoice
#ButAlsoIFeelBadThatThingsIHavePostedInThePastMightHaveMadeOthersFeelBadAboutThemselvesForWhateverReason
#TheShootWasMeantToBeAFamilyPortaitSessionButTiagoAskedMeToCutHisHairAgainSoIThoughtIShouldDocumentIt
#IThoughtIHadDoneABetterJobThanLastTimeButNowIAmNotSoSureAndIMightNeedToNeatenItUpMoreLater

#IAmWritingThisAt6ThirtyInTheMorningAsBHasAlreadyBeenUpForAboutAnHour

I can hear B giggling at T from here. I’m also listening to Sparrow Sleeps – which are lullaby versions of songs that I liked when I was a teen. I’ve been listening to Relient K, but now I see they have albums of Say Anything and Alkaline Trio… It’s quite nice to write to as I don’t get so distracted by the lyrics though I am kind of singing along anyways.

(I wrote this on 26th December and I’d already forgot about Sparrow Sleeps, so thanks to me for the reminder!)

#SheHasBeenWakingUpACoupleOfTimesInTheNightButSleepingQuiteWellInGeneral #SoLastNightWeStayedUpLateWatchingPearlHarbourWhichIHadRecordedACoupleOfWeeksAgo #TheNightBeforeWeHadStayedUpNotAsLateWatchingADocumentaryAboutTheBeeGees

We thought that we were cursing things by staying up late two nights ago, but as she slept fairly well we just ended up watching the whole of Pearl Harbour. I thought I would turn it off at 11pm, but there seemed like no point as we were so close to the end.

#IThinkTonightItWillBeAnEarlyNightForUsThoughWeWillProbablyNapWhenSheHasHerFirstNap

Well, Tiago says when I am finished that he will probably have a nap.

#TiagoHasFourDaysOffForXmasSoIHaveBeenHavingALittleMoreOfABreak #IFeelGuiltyAboutItThough

Tiago says I can’t win as I feel bad for wanting more time for myself, but when I do I feel guilty about it and don’t really enjoy it.

T fed B all her meals yesterday (though dinner didn’t go well so I gave it a go). I tried to just read my book (The Sanest Guy In The Room by Don Black), but I kept getting distracted by my Nan and life. I usually read e-books now, but this is a physical book that my Mum got me for my birthday.

#YesterdayIFeltLikeICouldHaveStayedInBedForAWeekAsISuddenlyFeltSoDown

Though the feeling passed a bit after 20ish minutes in bed, when I felt guilty for being there.

#TheCodingCourseSeemsALotHarderAndIAmHavingALotLessFeelingSmartMoments

It sucks feeling dumb, but I am halfway through it now so I just need to get on and finish it.

#YesIDidDoABitOfCodingAndGeneralWorkOnChristmasDay

To be fair I think I always do work a bit on Xmas, and now it makes more sense than ever as Tiago is off and I work when I have the chance.

A couple of photos from my Neblina series were taken on Xmas day.

#ItIsStillAboutAnotherWeekUntilMyPhoneCallAssessmentWithTheServiceThatMyHealthVisitorSuggested

I felt like I didn’t need to speak to them anymore, but my mood does go up and down a lot. I know they won’t be able to help with some things (they won’t be able to give me time off – though like I’ve said before I don’t want time away from B), but maybe it might help me to try to change myself for the better.

#IAmFindingItHardToSeeSocialMediaPostsAboutPeopleAndTheirBabies #IThinkItIsBecauseItAllLooksSoEasyForEveryoneElseThoughIKnowThatEveryoneOnlyUsuallyTriesToShowTheirBestSelvesOnSocialMedia

It’s so stupid that it gets to me. I know that most of social media is fake and most people don’t show their true feelings etc. I am happy for other people, but it says a lot more about me than it does about them.

#AfterGoingToTheHairdressersIRealisedThatTheCystOnMyHeadIsQuiteVisibleNow

Talking about my cyst is just making me think of RuPaul’s Drag Race…

#WellItIsMoreTheBaldPatchThatSurroundsIt #IHaveProbablyHadItForAtLeastAYearAndAHalfButItHasGotBiggerAsIMessWithItWhenIGetStressed #AndPregnancyAndCovidAndThingsHaveBeenStressful #IAmTalkingAboutItNowToShameMyselfIntoStopMessingWithItButIKnowThatIWillProbablyNot #ICouldGetItRemovedButApparentlyTheyUsuallyGrowBack

I’m also currently reading a book about periods (Period by Emma Barnett) and it says something about talking about them being quite off limits for a lot of people. Well, I’ve now talked about periods and cysts in my project so…

#IJustSearchEnginedCystOnHeadAndIFeelABitBetterAboutItAllAsThereAreSomeHugeOnesOutThere

Another fun thing about getting older.

#AnywaysWeReallyNeedToMoveBOutOfTheBassinetOnHerCotAndIntoTheBottomBit #ItIsRidiculousHowMuchSheHasGrownIn6Months #IGuessWeAreStallingBecauseItWillBeALotMoreAnnoyingToGetHerOutOfItAndWeWillNotBeAbleToRockHerAsEasily

It is unbelievable how much babies grow in the first six months though. I remember my friend sending us a 6 month onesie for B and thinking nah she is never going to be that big in 6 months time. Well, she is…

#YesterdayWeMadeHerSomeNiceMealsButSheDidNotSeemThatIntoThem

Carrot porridge (she eats that up every day, butternut squash with almond butter and cinnamon (she ate that all up the day before), and aubergine with red pepper and cous cous (she barely ate any).

#WhichIsProbablyWhySheWokeUpSoEarlyTodayAsWhenSheEatsWellSheSeemsToSleepBetter

We give her a lot of water with meals and between if she doesn’t have milk. We give her a milk feed in the morning and in the evening, but after her terrible dinner we gave her milk to make sure she had enough. I think she was just teething really badly and food was irritating her. Possibly?

#IThinkIHaveFinallyGivenUpWithBreastfeedingNowAsSheHasHadAFewDaysOfNotWantingToBreastfeedSoIGaveUpAFewDaysAgo #IThinkIFindItDifficultSeeingSoManyPostsAndReferencesAboutBreastfeedingAsIFeelABitGuiltyAboutItThoughItWasUltimatelyBsChoice

B didn’t want to anymore, so I shouldn’t feel bad about it though I feel like I might have jumped to formula a bit too quick before.. You never know. She wasn’t feeding well and we were moving, so it seemed like the best thing to do to make sure she was getting enough.

I feel like the whole breastfeeding journey has been very up and down. There are a lot of what ifs… but I do just need to let it go. Easier said than done.

#ButAlsoIFeelBadThatThingsIHavePostedInThePastMightHaveMadeOthersFeelBadAboutThemselvesForWhateverReason

And possible future posts. I need to talk about my need to gravitate to talk about negative things all the time; this is something I have felt about addressing for a while.

I guess I’ll save it for a future reflective post.

#TheShootWasMeantToBeAFamilyPortaitSessionButTiagoAskedMeToCutHisHairAgainSoIThoughtIShouldDocumentIt #IThoughtIHadDoneABetterJobThanLastTimeButNowIAmNotSoSureAndIMightNeedToNeatenItUpMoreLater

Well, I guess the next shoot can be a family portrait.

Tiago asked if I could cut his hair tonight, but my Mum was round so she looked after B while I did it. I did feel very nervous, but like last time I quickly got into it. It is quite therapeutic, but hopefully next time I’ll do a better job of it.

I never like how hair looks when it’s just been cut, so maybe it will look better in a few days. I do need to work out there not being such an abrupt change in length in hair between sections though.


Thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying my blog (and/or the work I make) please consider supporting me by ‘buying me a coffee’ on Ko-fi – thanks!

Categories
Oh Me, Oh Mãe

I Carried Her Coat Down The Stairs On My Head And Thought It Was Interesting Enough For A Photo (1st December 2020)

I Carried Her Coat Down The Stairs On My Head And Thought It Was Interesting Enough For A Photo (1st December 2020)
 
#IAmInSuchABadMoodThisMorning
#BSleptForAbout7HoursStraightLastNightButItIsNeverEnough
#IHaveBeenPreparingSomeButternutSquashForHerToday
#AndAttemptedToMakeAButternutSquashAndCarrotSoupForUs
#YesterdayTheHealthVisitorCameAndSheSaidBIsProgressingWell
#SheIsStayingWithinHerWeightPercentileWhichIsGood
#ISaidThatIAmStrugglingABitMentally
#InLiverpoolIToldMyGPWhoSaidToTellMyHealthVisitor
#HereInBirminghamTheHealthVisitorSaysIShouldTellMyGPAndGaveMeANumberForAPostNatalServiceToTry
#IFeltQuiteGoodYesterdaySoIThoughtIWouldCallThemWhenIFeltBad
#IMightGiveThemACallLater
#TheHealthVisitorIsComingAtTheEndOfThisMonthToCheckOnMeAgain
#SheKeptSayingThatIFeltLonelyButIDoNotReallyIJustWantMoreVariationInBsPlaytimes
#IHaveFinallyManagedToSignBUpForAClass
#ThereAreSomeClassesBeforeXmasAndThenThereIsABigGapThenAnotherFew
#IAmExcitedButAlsoVeryNervous
#OurScheduleIsVeryFocusedAroundHomeSoIFeelABitStressedAboutHavingToPlanAroundAClass
#ItWillBeGoodForUsThoughAndIHopeToFindOthersToGoTo
#IWasHopingThatTheHealthVisitorWouldGiveMeAListOfPlacesThatICouldGoTo
#TheChildrensCentreIsQuiteFarToWalkToButApparentlyTheyHaveOnlineClassesAtTheMoment
#IHaveNotHadToPackABagForBForAges
#AndIHaveNotFedHerInPublicForALongTime
#IGuessIShouldTakeABottleOfFormulaJustInCase
#TheOtherDayISaidSheHadNotBreastfedInAWhileAndThatIHadGivenUp
#IInspiredMyselfToTryAgain
#IDoNotThinkSheIsGettingMuchButSheIsGettingSomething
#IWasQuiteSurprisedThatMyMilkHadNotCompletelyDriedUp
#MyWorkshopWentWellThoughALotMorePeopleSignedUpThanAttended
#IWorkedHardOnItSoInTheEveningITreatedMyselfToABathWithSomeBathSaltsThatIBought5MonthsAgoButHadNotUsedYet
#ThereWasNotMuchHotWaterSoInTheEndIJustSoakedMyselfInAPrettyColdBath

(Well, the title says it all. Maybe I should have called it something more interesting, but it is what it is.)

#IAmInSuchABadMoodThisMorning

Though typically I feel better after venting about it in my hashtags.

(I’m writing this on 1st December 2020.)

#BSleptForAbout7HoursStraightLastNightButItIsNeverEnough

We gave her some paracetamol last night for the first time in a few nights and maybe that was why? Or it could be that she went to bed quite early, but had two more feeds before we went to bed? She always seems to be hungry…

#IHaveBeenPreparingSomeButternutSquashForHerToday

I try to prepare her food for the day during her first nap now.

#AndAttemptedToMakeAButternutSquashAndCarrotSoupForUs

This is my new thing now – preparing food for B and then trying to make a soup for us for lunch. I think I felt so crummy as I just wanted to get on and do my work, but I was sorting out food.

#YesterdayTheHealthVisitorCameAndSheSaidBIsProgressingWell #SheIsStayingWithinHerWeightPercentileWhichIsGood

Good news.

#ISaidThatIAmStrugglingABitMentally #InLiverpoolIToldMyGPWhoSaidToTellMyHealthVisitor #HereInBirminghamTheHealthVisitorSaysIShouldTellMyGPAndGaveMeANumberForAPostNatalServiceToTry #IFeltQuiteGoodYesterdaySoIThoughtIWouldCallThemWhenIFeltBad #IMightGiveThemACallLater

Obviously every place has their own way of doing things. I do tend to feel better at the start of the week and the health visitor coming made the day a bit more interesting. Though I did think that I had the wrong day as it was getting on and she had not arrived. B was due for a nap but I was trying to keep her up as I knew she would have to be weighed. In the end I put her to bed and called the number to check, and they said she was 30 minutes away.

#TheHealthVisitorIsComingAtTheEndOfThisMonthToCheckOnMeAgain

To see how I’m doing mentally.

#SheKeptSayingThatIFeltLonelyButIDoNotReallyIJustWantMoreVariationInBsPlaytimes

Back time, tummy time, books, toys etc. repeat x 10.

#IHaveFinallyManagedToSignBUpForAClass

Hurrah.

#ThereAreSomeClassesBeforeXmasAndThenThereIsABigGapThenAnotherFew

Classes are starting up again, but typically it’s nearly Christmas now so they generally close for that period.

#IAmExcitedButAlsoVeryNervous #OurScheduleIsVeryFocusedAroundHomeSoIFeelABitStressedAboutHavingToPlanAroundAClass #ItWillBeGoodForUsThoughAndIHopeToFindOthersToGoTo

B is 5 and a half months old. We’ve been to one class in person. This is why I get so rigid with her routine, but luckily I have been relaxing a bit about it lately.

I am hoping the class will tire her out more than just our usual playtimes so she will sleep well at night. I have been wondering if that is why sometimes she does not sleep very well – she has not been tired out enough.

#IWasHopingThatTheHealthVisitorWouldGiveMeAListOfPlacesThatICouldGoTo #TheChildrensCentreIsQuiteFarToWalkToButApparentlyTheyHaveOnlineClassesAtTheMoment

Typically in Liverpool we lived a lot closer to a children’s centre, but it was closed the whole time that we needed it.

#IHaveNotHadToPackABagForBForAges #AndIHaveNotFedHerInPublicForALongTime #IGuessIShouldTakeABottleOfFormulaJustInCase

I feel like I am already making a mental list of what I need to take. Changing bag, change of clothes, bibs, food.

It is a little walk, but hopefully we’ll walk there if the weather is nice and then T can pick us up afterwards.

#TheOtherDayISaidSheHadNotBreastfedInAWhileAndThatIHadGivenUp #IInspiredMyselfToTryAgain #IDoNotThinkSheIsGettingMuchButSheIsGettingSomething #IWasQuiteSurprisedThatMyMilkHadNotCompletelyDriedUp

This morning she fed a bit, but she still seemed hungry so I gave her some formula too. I am trying to feed her in the morning and evening to see if that helps my supply. I miss the convenience of breastfeeding, though our prep machine is super useful.

#MyWorkshopWentWellThoughALotMorePeopleSignedUpThanAttended

It was good to try it out with a very small, but enthusiastic group though. I am hoping that I will have more opportunities to do it again, but who knows.

#IWorkedHardOnItSoInTheEveningITreatedMyselfToABathWithSomeBathSaltsThatIBought5MonthsAgoButHadNotUsedYet #ThereWasNotMuchHotWaterSoInTheEndIJustSoakedMyselfInAPrettyColdBath

And I did not even notice the bath salts. Typical. Even though it was quite cold, it was nice to daydream though. I just felt like I had wasted a lot of water though…


Thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying my blog (and/or the work I make) please consider supporting me by ‘buying me a coffee’ on Ko-fi – thanks!

Categories
Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Imitating B By Putting Baby Rice On My Face (28th November 2020)

Self-portrait with baby rice around my mouth
Imitating B By Putting Baby Rice On My Face (28th November 2020)
 
#WellInMyLastDiaryEntryISaidWeWereGoingToStartWeaningBSoon
#InTheEndIGaveBSomeBabyRiceTheSameDay
#SheWasABitUnsureAtFirstButThenSheAteItAllUpSoIGaveHerAnotherMealOfItTheSameDay
#IMixedItWithHerUsualMilkThenGaveHerTheRestOfTheBottleAfter
#WeDidTwoDaysOfThatThenITriedGivingHerSomePotato
#SheChokedWhichPutMeOffSoSheHadSomeBabyRiceAtDinner
#YesterdayITriedAgainAndItWasABitMoreSuccessful
#IThinkTodayIWillTryCarrot
#ThisPictureIsImitatingTheMessThatBGetsHerselfInto
#WeGotAnElectricChopperWhichWillHopefullyBlendHerFoodBetterNowAndSpeedUpCookingOurMeals
#IHaveGivenUpWithBreastfeedingAsDidNotWantToForThreeDaysAndAfterThatIStoppedTrying
#IWasFeelingMorePositiveAboutThingsButIThinkByTheEndOfTheWeekIStartToFeelSoTired
#AndTwoNightsAgoBWasWakingUpConstantlySoYesterdayIWasStrugglingABit
#AlsoSomeoneHadMentionedThatWearingBabiesSoTheyFaceForwardIsNotGoodForThem
#SoIFeelABitTornAsIWasReallyEnjoyingDoingThat
#YesterdayICarriedHerFacingMeAndSheFellAsleepWithin5Minutes
#SoIEndedUpJustWearingHerForAnHourWhileSheHadANap
#TypicallySheSometimesDoesNotNapForVeryLongAndItWasNotEvenHerNaptime
#ITriedToTakeAPhotoInTheKitchenOfMeAwkwardlyEatingMyLunchButTheyWereSoOutOfFocusAsItWasJustOnMyPhone
#MyBackIsReallyHurtingMeThoughNowSoIMightJustAlternateThings
#ForTheNextCoupleOfDaysIWillJustTakeHerOutInHerPushchairAndHopefullyItWillBeJustAsMuchFun
#IHaveLikedTheInteractionsThatWeHaveHadWithPeopleLatelySoMaybeIJustNeedToBeBetterAtEyeContactWhenSheIsInThePushchair
#UsuallyIJustLookDownAtTheWheelsAndPretendToJustCheckThatWeAreNotGoingOnTheGrass
#ItDoesNotMatterIfItGetsDirtyReallyButItIsALotEasierToJustWalkAcrossTheGrassAwayFromPeopleWhenCarryingHer
#ThePushchairIsJustABitBigAndAnnoyingAtTimesSoIFeelMoreFreeWithTheCarrier
#SoIThinkIWillCarryHerFacingOutOccasionally
#SheSeemsToEnjoyItAndOurWalksAreGenerallyShorterNowAsITendToGoOutTwiceADayInstead
#BeforeWhenIWasPushingHerToSleepIWouldWalkSoFarWhichWouldTireMeOut
#NowIWantHerToEnjoyHerAwakeTimeAndIDoNotPushHerSoFar
#IHaveMyWorkshopTomorrowWhichIAmNervousAboutButIThinkItWillBeOkay

(I wrote this on 28th November.)

#WellInMyLastDiaryEntryISaidWeWereGoingToStartWeaningBSoon

Oh, I actually said ‘#IAlsoMightGiveHerSomeBabyRiceTodayButIFeelLikeISayThatEveryday’

#InTheEndIGaveBSomeBabyRiceTheSameDay

So I actually did do it. I was feeling stressed about it, but suddenly I felt like that day was the day.

#SheWasABitUnsureAtFirstButThenSheAteItAllUpSoIGaveHerAnotherMealOfItTheSameDay

I thought she was going to spit it out, but she was quite enthusiastic. I was surprised. I thought she would not eat any of it.

There was a lot of it on her face though – hence the photo.

#IMixedItWithHerUsualMilkThenGaveHerTheRestOfTheBottleAfter

I thought she would not drink all of her milk, but she did.

#WeDidTwoDaysOfThatThenITriedGivingHerSomePotato #SheChokedWhichPutMeOffSoSheHadSomeBabyRiceAtDinner

It was a bit scary, so we built up our confidence again with the baby rice.

#YesterdayITriedAgainAndItWasABitMoreSuccessful

She still did not seem too impressed though. The lumps were worrying me though I did mash it up a lot.

#IThinkTodayIWillTryCarrot

I am typing this now in the kitchen while I am boiling some carrot. B is having a nap. This seems like a good time to do some cooking. The other day when I was boiling the potatoes I was also making a meal for the day.

(Carrot seems more successful than potato.)

#ThisPictureIsImitatingTheMessThatBGetsHerselfInto

There are some of me with it coming out of my mouth. I don’t know which one I will choose yet. Sorry if it is a disgusting choice…

(13th December: Well, I went for a more ‘classic’ option.)

#WeGotAnElectricChopperWhichWillHopefullyBlendHerFoodBetterNowAndSpeedUpCookingOurMeals

I am going to puree some carrot, but also have some bigger slices for her to try in the baby led weaning style.

Being vegetarian I feel like most of cooking is just chopping veg, so hopefully it will be good.

#IHaveGivenUpWithBreastfeedingAsDidNotWantToForThreeDaysAndAfterThatIStoppedTrying

I am sad about it. Maybe it is not too late… Maybe I should try? They’ve just been out of action for at least 5 days now, so I feel like the time has passed. I have gone back to wearing non-maternity bras now, which feels a bit weird.

My Mum said I wouldn’t be breastfed after 4 months…

(After I finished this B woke up and I felt compelled to try breastfeeding her. Some milk did actually come out, and though I had to keep swapping B over from side to side I think she did get something. Afterwards I winded her and she burped quite loudly, but it could have been left over from earlier? I think I might try to see if I can get my production up.)

#IWasFeelingMorePositiveAboutThingsButIThinkByTheEndOfTheWeekIStartToFeelSoTired

By Friday I am just knackered.

#AndTwoNightsAgoBWasWakingUpConstantlySoYesterdayIWasStrugglingABit

It was a long night. Last night she slept better but typically my brain was so awake at 2am after she woke up that I did not sleep for at least an hour.

#AlsoSomeoneHadMentionedThatWearingBabiesSoTheyFaceForwardIsNotGoodForThem #SoIFeelABitTornAsIWasReallyEnjoyingDoingThat

I read an article about it, but it seemed to be about babies that are a lot younger. It said that it overstimulates them, but one of the reasons why I like her to face out is so that she can see everything, and for a change of scenery during playtimes.

#YesterdayICarriedHerFacingMeAndSheFellAsleepWithin5Minutes

I realised that we were going out half an hour from naptime, so I thought we’d be quick.

I kept trying to keep her awake, but she fell asleep after 5 minutes.

#SoIEndedUpJustWearingHerForAnHourWhileSheHadANap

I could not be bothered to keep walking around with her, so I just came home.

#TypicallySheSometimesDoesNotNapForVeryLongAndItWasNotEvenHerNaptime

I was hoping it would be a 30 minute nap at the most, but her previous one had only been 30 minutes.

#ITriedToTakeAPhotoInTheKitchenOfMeAwkwardlyEatingMyLunchButTheyWereSoOutOfFocusAsItWasJustOnMyPhone

I got Tiago to put some food in the pan for me to reheat so the noise wouldn’t wake her up. I just watched Taskmaster on my phone, while awkwardly navigating my food over her head.

#MyBackIsReallyHurtingMeThoughNowSoIMightJustAlternateThings

I stretch quite a lot, so I do wonder how people who don’t stretch cope.

#ForTheNextCoupleOfDaysIWillJustTakeHerOutInHerPushchairAndHopefullyItWillBeJustAsMuchFun

I need to get a rain cover for the carrier, so at least her pushchair has one. It is a wet day today.

#IHaveLikedTheInteractionsThatWeHaveHadWithPeopleLatelySoMaybeIJustNeedToBeBetterAtEyeContactWhenSheIsInThePushchair

I usually have the hood of her pushchair pulled over her, so I can’t really see her and she is usually asleep so of course people will not interact with her. I just need to talk to her more in the pushchair. It doesn’t face me, so hopefully she can just enjoy the world and I can stop more to talk to her and point things out.

#UsuallyIJustLookDownAtTheWheelsAndPretendToJustCheckThatWeAreNotGoingOnTheGrass

Well, I don’t know if I am pretending but it is a thing I do to avoid eye contact.

#ItDoesNotMatterIfItGetsDirtyReallyButItIsALotEasierToJustWalkAcrossTheGrassAwayFromPeopleWhenCarryingHer #ThePushchairIsJustABitBigAndAnnoyingAtTimesSoIFeelMoreFreeWithTheCarrier

It could be worse, but some paths are quite narrow so you have to move. Some people barely leave any space as they go past, whereas others will awkwardly leave what feels like a bit too much space.

#SoIThinkIWillCarryHerFacingOutOccasionally

I’ve spoke to other people about it and they don’t think there is an issue.

#SheSeemsToEnjoyItAndOurWalksAreGenerallyShorterNowAsITendToGoOutTwiceADayInstead #BeforeWhenIWasPushingHerToSleepIWouldWalkSoFarWhichWouldTireMeOut #NowIWantHerToEnjoyHerAwakeTimeAndIDoNotPushHerSoFar

The walks are a lot more pleasant now.

#IHaveMyWorkshopTomorrowWhichIAmNervousAboutButIThinkItWillBeOkay

Fingers crossed.


Thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying my blog (and/or the work I make) please consider supporting me by ‘buying me a coffee’ on Ko-fi – thanks!

Categories
Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Imitating B Trying To Eat Her Toes (24th November 2020)

Imitating B Trying To Eat Her Toes (24th November 2020)
 
#ThisShootWasMeJustImitatingBWhenSheDoesTheHappyBabyYogaPoseAndWhenSheTriesToPutHerToesInHerMouth
#ICanSeeHowThePoseGotTheNameNow
#SheHasBeenDoingThisForAWhileButMyPlanOfCopyingHerHasBeenNeglectedForAWhile
#YesterdayITookHerOutForTwoWalksDuringHerAwakeTimes
#HerWakeWindowsAreUsuallyBetweenTwoAndTwoAndAHalfHoursNow
#ThatIsALongTimeToEntertainHer4TimesADay
#SoItMakesSenseToTakeHerOutDuringHerPlaytimesRatherThanNaptimes
#IPutHerForwardFacingInHerCarrierForTheFirstTime
#SheIsOldEnoughNowAndIFiguredItMightBeBetterForLettingHerSeeThings
#FirstITookHerOutInTheMorningAndALotOfPeopleSaidGoodMorningToUsWhichWasReallyNice
#SheJustSeemedToCheerSomePeopleUpAndWeStoppedToTalkToAYoungGirlAndHerFamilyWhoHadPointedAtHer
#IWalkedForABitTooLongAndBFellAsleep
#NextITookHerOutInTheAfternoonButWeDidNotMakeItSoFar
#ThereWereALotOfSchoolKidsAroundWhichFreaksMeOutALittleBitSoNextTimeWeNeedToBeEarlier
#IHadPutSomeLittleBootsOnHerFeet
#ButAfterGettingHomeTheSecondTimeICouldNotFindOneOfThem
#IWaitedForTiagoToFinishAWorkCallSoHeCouldWatchB
#ThenIRetracedOurStepsAndFoundItNotSoFarAwayOnAPath
#SoINeedToBeCarefulAboutTheAmountOfTimeAndKeepAnEyeOnHerBoots
#TheWeatherWasReallyNiceYesterdayButPuttingHerInTheCarrierMightNotBeAGreatPlanForEveryday
#SheHasBeenWakingUpALotAtNightLatelyWhichIsMakingTAndIABitGrumpy
#LastWeekSheWasStillBreastfeedingTwoOrThreeTimesADay
#ButNowSheReallyDoesNotWantToBreastfeedWhichIsABitOfAShame
#IThinkItProbablyHasALotToDoWithHerTeething
#ThoughSometimesIAmTryingToGetHerToLatchOnAndSheJustTipsHerHeadBackAndLooksLonginglyAtAnEmptyBottleThatIForgotToMove
#MyMumSaysThatSheWantedToBreastfeedMySistersAndIForLongerButWeStoppedBeingInterestedAround4Months
#TodayIMightJustTryFormulaFeedingHerForEveryFeedAndSeeIfThatHelpsWithHerSleep
#IAlsoMightGiveHerSomeBabyRiceTodayButIFeelLikeISayThatEveryday
#IAmCurrentlySpendingALotOfMyFreeTimePlanningForAHashtagWorkshop
#IAmNervousAboutItButIHopeThatItGoesWellAndThatPeopleEnjoyIt

(I wrote this on 24th November.)

#ThisShootWasMeJustImitatingBWhenSheDoesTheHappyBabyYogaPoseAndWhenSheTriesToPutHerToesInHerMouth

Classic B.

#ICanSeeHowThePoseGotTheNameNow

I could kind of see how it did before, but having a baby has made it very clear.

#SheHasBeenDoingThisForAWhileButMyPlanOfCopyingHerHasBeenNeglectedForAWhile

I have a list of shoot ideas, but actually this idea is not as old as I thought – I added it on 22nd October.

#YesterdayITookHerOutForTwoWalksDuringHerAwakeTimes #HerWakeWindowsAreUsuallyBetweenTwoAndTwoAndAHalfHoursNow #ThatIsALongTimeToEntertainHer4TimesADay #SoItMakesSenseToTakeHerOutDuringHerPlaytimesRatherThanNaptimes

Well, I know that during her awake times I am feeding her, changing her and other things, but still it leaves a lot of play time.

#IPutHerForwardFacingInHerCarrierForTheFirstTime

The day before Tiago had taken her out facing him.

#SheIsOldEnoughNowAndIFiguredItMightBeBetterForLettingHerSeeThings

Just another one of those things that seems scary to do, but once you do it it seems easy. I’ll just have to see if I can higher her up anymore.

#FirstITookHerOutInTheMorningAndALotOfPeopleSaidGoodMorningToUsWhichWasReallyNice

At one point I think I was having a competition with myself to see how many I could get to say good morning to me or back to me.

#SheJustSeemedToCheerSomePeopleUpAndWeStoppedToTalkToAYoungGirlAndHerFamilyWhoHadPointedAtHer

With her being on me it’s a lot easier to move out of the way of people too if paths are too narrow.

#IWalkedForABitTooLongAndBFellAsleep

So when I got home and wanted her to have a nap, she took longer to fall asleep than usual.

#NextITookHerOutInTheAfternoonButWeDidNotMakeItSoFar #ThereWereALotOfSchoolKidsAroundWhichFreaksMeOutALittleBitSoNextTimeWeNeedToBeEarlier

It just gets a bit busy when all the kids are walking home from school and they seem to hang around more than I thought they would. I think they all get let out at different times too so when one lot seems to clear, a new lot soon appears.

#IHadPutSomeLittleBootsOnHerFeet #ButAfterGettingHomeTheSecondTimeICouldNotFindOneOfThem

Classic me. I thought it must have just fallen off when I lifted her out of her carrier, but I couldn’t see it.

#IWaitedForTiagoToFinishAWorkCallSoHeCouldWatchB #ThenIRetracedOurStepsAndFoundItNotSoFarAwayOnAPath

I was so proud of myself for finding it. I was worried as I had walked across a big patch of grass, which would have made it easier to find, but it had probably dropped just before I went onto it.

#SoINeedToBeCarefulAboutTheAmountOfTimeAndKeepAnEyeOnHerBoots

Shorter walks. Check boots. Got it.

#TheWeatherWasReallyNiceYesterdayButPuttingHerInTheCarrierMightNotBeAGreatPlanForEveryday

I need to get a rain cover for it…

#SheHasBeenWakingUpALotAtNightLatelyWhichIsMakingTAndIABitGrumpy

When she woke up for the last time at 6.30am it felt like it was 3am and I was like erghhhh.

#LastWeekSheWasStillBreastfeedingTwoOrThreeTimesADay

Great.

#ButNowSheReallyDoesNotWantToBreastfeedWhichIsABitOfAShame

I am a bit saddened by it.

#IThinkItProbablyHasALotToDoWithHerTeething

Yeah, it can’t be too comfortable at the moment. She has been teething for about a month, which doesn’t help.

#ThoughSometimesIAmTryingToGetHerToLatchOnAndSheJustTipsHerHeadBackAndLooksLonginglyAtAnEmptyBottleThatIForgotToMove

It’s probably nicer to teethe on.

#MyMumSaysThatSheWantedToBreastfeedMySistersAndIForLongerButWeStoppedBeingInterestedAround4Months

Maybe she’s more like me than she looks… (She looks more like Tiago.)

#TodayIMightJustTryFormulaFeedingHerForEveryFeedAndSeeIfThatHelpsWithHerSleep #IAlsoMightGiveHerSomeBabyRiceTodayButIFeelLikeISayThatEveryday

Between writing the hashtags and writing this blog post I did give her some. It went well. If I remember I’ll probably talk about it in my next blog post.

#IAmCurrentlySpendingALotOfMyFreeTimePlanningForAHashtagWorkshop #IAmNervousAboutItButIHopeThatItGoesWellAndThatPeopleEnjoyIt

Luckily I did a university lecture last week, so I am feeling a little less awkward about it. I really hope that people enjoy it.

I was going to post a link to the workshop, but by the time I post this it will have already happened. Wishing myself luck from the past and future…


Thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying my blog (and/or the work I make) please consider supporting me by ‘buying me a coffee’ on Ko-fi – thanks!

Categories
Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Feeling A Bit More Like My Old Self (16th November 2020)

Phone photo of my computer screen showing me on zoom
Feeling A Bit More Like My Old Self (16th November 2020)
 
#PerhapsThisImageLooksMoreLikeIHaveBeenCalledInForQuestioningAtAFloweryPoliceStation
#ThanMeSatWaitingForStudentsToJoinAnOnlineTutorialSession
#TypicallyIActuallyWashedMyHairForItLastNightButThenHadMyHairUpMostOfTheDayAsItWasAnnoyingMe
#TodayWasTheLongestIHadSpentNotMotheringB
#IDidAnOnlineTalkAndSomeTutorialsAndItFeltSoGoodToBeDoingSomethingElseForAChange
#IDoEnjoyBeingWithBAndIAmGratefulToHaveHer
#IFeelLikeIDoComplainTooMuchButItHasBeenAnIntenseFivePlusMonthsOfMothering
#IKnowThatWeAreLuckyAndQuitePrivilegedAsAFamilySoIShouldWhineLess
#IWasNotPlanningToUseThisPictureForTheProjectButIJustSawItOnMyPhoneAndThoughtWhyNot
#IWasSupposedToDoAShootYesterday
#IWasPlanningAFamilyShootButThoughTheDayGotOffToAProductiveStart
#WeManagedToBreakTheGarageDoorAndSpentALotOfTimeFaffingWithThat
#SoWeDidNotGoForAWalkAndIDidNotManageToOrganiseMyWorkSpaceOrDoMuchWork
#InOtherNewsWeGotASecondHandFormulaPrepMachineTheOtherDayAndItIsLifeChanging
#NoMoreSettingAlarmsToRememberToBoilWaterOrFranticallyTryingToCoolTheMilkDown
#AndNowThatBIs5MonthsIAmTryingToDropOneOfHerNaps
#IAlsoRealisedThatIHaveBeenWayTooStrictWithHerScheduleAndFrettingAboutHerWakeWindowsAndThings
#SoTheOtherDayIChilledOutABitWithItToAllowHerToGoToBedAroundSevenFifteenIsh
#ThoughTheLast2NightsSheHasGoneToBedEarlierDueToTryingToDropTheThirdNap
#SheHasWokeUpOnceInTheNightAndSheWasAwakeLongerThanNeedBeAsITriedNotToFeedHer
#OnceYouLiftHerOutOfTheCotToChangeHerNappyThoughYouHaveToFeedHerOrSheWillNotSleep
#ButOnceSheIsFedSheIsQuiteContentAndGoesBackToSleepAlright
#YesterdayIFeltBadAsSheWokeUpAt8InTheMorningAndIDidFretABitAboutHerSchedule
#SoTodayISetAnAlarmFor7OnceSheWentBackToSleep
#IFeelMorePositiveButLetUsSeeHowLongItLasts
#INeededADayToDoSomethingDifferentAndFeelLikeMoreThanJustAMother
#NotThatThereIsAnythingWrongWithJustBeingAMother
#IJustWasNotPreparedForHowMuchMyLifeWouldChangeWithABaby
#INeedToStretchAsIHaveNotInTheLastCoupleOfDaysAndIAcheFromAllTheBabyCarryingAndStuffMoving

(I wrote this post on 16th November.)

#PerhapsThisImageLooksMoreLikeIHaveBeenCalledInForQuestioningAtAFloweryPoliceStation #ThanMeSatWaitingForStudentsToJoinAnOnlineTutorialSession

Not that I have ever been called in for questioning at a police station, but it does look like I’ve been up to something.

#TypicallyIActuallyWashedMyHairForItLastNightButThenHadMyHairUpMostOfTheDayAsItWasAnnoyingMe

I was not going to wash it, but I thought I should make the effort. My hair looked quite good at 2am, but I brushed it when I got up and it looked bad.

Not that I usually care about my hair, but I thought I better make the effort for an online talk. (There were 50ish people in the end – thanks University of Hertfordshire.)

#TodayWasTheLongestIHadSpentNotMotheringB

I spent about 6 hours away from her in the end.

#IDidAnOnlineTalkAndSomeTutorialsAndItFeltSoGoodToBeDoingSomethingElseForAChange

It was like a flashback to my pre-baby life.

#IDoEnjoyBeingWithBAndIAmGratefulToHaveHer

I do appreciate her, but it is a full-on job.

#IFeelLikeIDoComplainTooMuchButItHasBeenAnIntense5PlusMonthsOfMothering

5+ months of mothering and we’ve only been to one baby class in real life, and haven’t had many chances to hang out with friends lately.

#IKnowThatWeAreLuckyAndQuitePrivilegedAsAFamilySoIShouldWhineLess

I am lucky to have Tiago, and for my Nan to provide an extra pair of eyes now. We’re very fortunate and I really need to get over myself and whine less.

#IWasNotPlanningToUseThisPictureForTheProjectButIJustSawItOnMyPhoneAndThoughtWhyNot

I was just going to post it on my Instagram stories, but I saw the ‘potential’ of it.

Did I ever think that I’d be including a photo of my computer screen in a project? No. To be fair I probably have done it before in other projects that aren’t shown or it may have been edited out of one series.

#IWasSupposedToDoAShootYesterday #IWasPlanningAFamilyShootButThoughTheDayGotOffToAProductiveStart

Yeah, I thought it was probably time to do another family shoot.

#WeManagedToBreakTheGarageDoorAndSpentALotOfTimeFaffingWithThat

Great.

#SoWeDidNotGoForAWalkAndIDidNotManageToOrganiseMyWorkSpaceOrDoMuchWork

Perfect.

I feel like weekends are my best time to get things done, but Tiago is always tired and at the moment we are trying to organise our stuff. I’ll just have to do it this week…

I felt bad that I only did one shoot last week, but I did spend a lot of time preparing my presentation – cutting out some projects and adding in newer stuff.

#InOtherNewsWeGotASecondHandFormulaPrepMachineTheOtherDayAndItIsLifeChanging

It’s an absolute gamechanger. I wasn’t going to bother for a month or so (we’re not sure for how long we will formula feed her), but after talking to a friend I was swayed.

#NoMoreSettingAlarmsToRememberToBoilWaterOrFranticallyTryingToCoolTheMilkDown

It’s always a faff when an alarm doesn’t get set and you have a very upset baby to deal with…

#AndNowThatBIs5MonthsIAmTryingToDropOneOfHerNaps

She is supposed to nap less during the day, which means potentially less time to do things. Fun.

#IAlsoRealisedThatIHaveBeenWayTooStrictWithHerScheduleAndFrettingAboutHerWakeWindowsAndThings

I am not sure why I have been so obsessed. Possibly, because we’re dealing with a second lockdown and I can’t go anywhere? True.

I was like ‘she has to be awake for 90 minutes, then 105 minutes twice, then 120 minutes. She can’t go to bed unless she has been awake for those full wake windows’. So some days her bedtime was getting a bit later.

#SoTheOtherDayIChilledOutABitWithItToAllowHerToGoToBedAroundSevenFifteenIsh

Great. Does she wake up after a bit? Yes. Everyday is a new day though, and it means we have a bit more time in the evening to do things.

#ThoughTheLast2NightsSheHasGoneToBedEarlierDueToTryingToDropTheThirdNap

Yeah, things get a bit messed up by the evening. I am learning to be flexible though…

#SheHasWokeUpOnceInTheNightAndSheWasAwakeLongerThanNeedBeAsITriedNotToFeedHer

This is about the last two nights. I just hoped that she would go back to sleep both times as she wasn’t being too loud.

#OnceYouLiftHerOutOfTheCotToChangeHerNappyThoughYouHaveToFeedHerOrSheWillNotSleep

Sometimes I think she just needs her nappy changed, but then she gets rowdy.

#ButOnceSheIsFedSheIsQuiteContentAndGoesBackToSleepAlright

Last night I got away with breastfeeding her, but the night before we had to give her some formula as she would not breastfeed.

#YesterdayIFeltBadAsSheWokeUpAt8InTheMorningAndIDidFretABitAboutHerSchedule

Whoops. It was Sunday. I need to chill more…

#SoTodayISetAnAlarmFor7OnceSheWentBackToSleep

And then I wished that I had not set one incase she slept longer.

#IFeelMorePositiveButLetUsSeeHowLongItLasts

After being reunited with B I did feel knackered after 5 minutes.

#INeededADayToDoSomethingDifferentAndFeelLikeMoreThanJustAMother

It is good for me and good for her.

#NotThatThereIsAnythingWrongWithJustBeingAMother

Kudos to women who can just be with their kid for 24/7.

#IJustWasNotPreparedForHowMuchMyLifeWouldChangeWithABaby

You can imagine it, but it’s hard to actually imagine it.

#INeedToStretchAsIHaveNotInTheLastCoupleOfDaysAndIAcheFromAllTheBabyCarryingAndStuffMoving

I did do a baby yoga class today this morning actually, but it’s not the same as just doing a video by myself.

I’m going to go stretch now…


Thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying my blog (and/or the work I make) please consider supporting me by ‘buying me a coffee’ on Ko-fi – thanks!