Categories
Pregnancy Waiting II

Mum Looks #1 (10 Weeks? / 11th June 2021)

Self-portrait of myself wearing a colourful top and shorts. I have a book tucked into the back of my shorts and a pig puppet hanging out of my pocket.
Mum Looks #1 (10 Weeks? / 11th June 2021)
 
#ThisIsHowICarriedAPuppetAndABookUpTheStairsTheOtherDayWhileHoldingB
#ThePuppetUsedToDistractHerDuringNappyChangesButNowALittleMusicalPianoWorksBetter
#TheBookIsTheVeryHungryCaterpillarWhichBLikesALot
#NotLongAgoIWasTalkingToAnotherMumAboutAnUpcomingBookFestivalWhereAuthorsWillReadTheirBooks
#IJokedThatAllOfBsFavouriteAuthorsAreDeadAsIThoughtThatEricCarleHadDiedALongTimeAgo
#IWasSurprisedAfterAQuickOnlineSearchThatHeWasStillAliveButThenHeDiedACoupleOfWeeksLater
#IWasSupposedToHaveMyFirstVaccineThisWeekButAfterALotOfResearchIDecidedToWaitUntilIAmInMySecondTrimester
#TheBabyDevelopsSoMuchInTheFirstTrimesterAndIAmFeelingSoSick
#TheyDoNotKnowTheLongTermEffectsOfTheVaccinationsOnUnbornBabiesSoIWouldRatherWaitABit
#IrelandSuggestsWaitingUntil14WeeksToGetTheVaccineAndIHaveSeenThatInAFewPlaces
#SoIJustNeedToBeCarefulAndTryNotToGetCovidBeforeThen
#InABabyClassTheOtherDayWeDidNotHaveToWearAMaskWhenWeWereSatDown
#AndInATakeawayAGuyWalkedInWithoutAMaskButIPlanToKeepWearingMineUntilIGetAVaccine
#IAmStartingToThinkThatMaybeIAmMoreSixWeeksPregnantThanTen
#IThinkIWouldHaveBeenFeelingThisSickForLongerIfIWasTenWeeks
#ButIWasAlsoSoConvincedThatIWasPregnantWhenIWouldHaveOnlyBeenTwoWeeksIfIAmOnlySixWeeksNow
#ItHasBeenGoodThatTiagoHadThisWeekOffAsItMeansIHaveHadPlentyOfTimeToRest
#WeHaveNotDoneMuchButThatIsFineAsIHaveBeenFeelingSoTiredAndSick
#BWokeUpAtSixFortyTodayRatherThanFiveFortyWhichWasABitOfARelief
#WeHaveSatInTheParkAlotAndTodayWePlanToGoToAWildlifeCentre
#IUpdatedHerBabyBookTheOtherDaySoItIsNearlyCompleteNow
#IFeelLikeTheSecondKidWillNotHaveSuchAGoodOneButINeedToMakeTheEffortToMakeSureTheyHaveSomething
#TheWombMustBeQuiteResilientToDealWithPregnantPeopleLookingAfterKids
#BIsAlwaysFallingOnMeOrUsingMyStomachAsASupportPost
#IHaveAlreadyHadMoreKnocksToMyStomachThanIDidDuringMyWholePregnancyWithHer
#LastTimeWhenIWasPregnantIGotALetterFromTheMidwivesAfterTwoDays
#LastNightIGotATextFromMyDoctorsSayingINeedToPickAReferralLetterUpFromReception
#IAmGuessingItIsToDoWithTheMidwivesButItSeemsWeirdThatTheyDoNotPostOrEmailIt
#WellIWentToPickUpMyLetterUpAndIHaveCalledTheHospital
#TheyHavePutMeDownAsSixWeeksForNowAndApparentlyTheyDoNotHaveABedForMeAtTheDueDateIfIAmTenWeeks

(20th August: This probably won’t become a mini-series, but maybe it should. I think my whole project is just Mum Looks – me looking dishevelled.)

#ThisIsHowICarriedAPuppetAndABookUpTheStairsTheOtherDayWhileHoldingB

I tried to take a photo of my look on my phone at the time, but it was hard.

#ThePuppetUsedToDistractHerDuringNappyChangesButNowALittleMusicalPianoWorksBetter

I think it plays about four tunes automatically and I seem to know which one is coming next now. (If I know which one is coming I should know how many it has, but I can’t be bothered to work it out.)

(20th August: It has four. Now I just use any tactic to get her to stay still. Earlier I was using her bath toy, but sometimes it’s a tub with the lid screwed on tight, or a book or anything.)

#TheBookIsTheVeryHungryCaterpillarWhichBLikesALot

I haven’t read it to her in a few days, which I am somewhat happy about as I need a break from it.

#NotLongAgoIWasTalkingToAnotherMumAboutAnUpcomingBookFestivalWhereAuthorsWillReadTheirBooks

I think a lot of children’s authors will be present.

#IJokedThatAllOfBsFavouriteAuthorsAreDeadAsIThoughtThatEricCarleHadDiedALongTimeAgo

She was a Mum at the park and we had a very brief conversation. She likes a lot of Pam Adams’ books and I just looked and she died in 2010…

#IWasSurprisedAfterAQuickOnlineSearchThatHeWasStillAliveButThenHeDiedACoupleOfWeeksLater

RIP Eric Carle. We like his From Head To Toe book too.

#IWasSupposedToHaveMyFirstVaccineThisWeekButAfterALotOfResearchIDecidedToWaitUntilIAmInMySecondTrimester

It was stressing me out, so now I am glad I decided to wait.

(20th August: I ended up getting the vaccine at 13 weeks after advice became a bit more consistent. I was also swayed by a talk by Pregnant Then Screwed and Viki Male, an immunologist. Here is the talk on Instagram.)

#TheBabyDevelopsSoMuchInTheFirstTrimesterAndIAmFeelingSoSick #TheyDoNotKnowTheLongTermEffectsOfTheVaccinationsOnUnbornBabiesSoIWouldRatherWaitABit

Research shows that babies are being born fine, but it is too early to know if there are long term effects and when is best to get the vaccine.

I’m feeling sick all of the time so I don’t want to get ill on top of it if I have a bad reaction…

#IrelandSuggestsWaitingUntil14WeeksToGetTheVaccineAndIHaveSeenThatInAFewPlaces

I saw on Twitter that a country (not sure which one) was offering the vaccine to women over 14 weeks. The UK and my doctor say all trimesters are fine, but I’d rather wait…

#SoIJustNeedToBeCarefulAndTryNotToGetCovidBeforeThen

I’ve managed it this far, but you never know.

#InABabyClassTheOtherDayWeDidNotHaveToWearAMaskWhenWeWereSatDown

I walked in and was like ‘why does everyone look different?’ After a while a couple more women walked in wearing them, but the teacher said we don’t have to wear them while sat down. I took mine off, though I wanted to keep it on. Next time I will as B runs off a lot so I need to get up and pick her up.

#AndInATakeawayAGuyWalkedInWithoutAMaskButIPlanToKeepWearingMineUntilIGetAVaccine

I shouldn’t let my awkwardness affect my personal safety. Maybe it’s unnecessary but I do not want to risk it.

I definitely will have a vaccine in my second trimester as getting Covid in the third trimester is quite dangerous for a pregnant person.

#IAmStartingToThinkThatMaybeIAmMoreSixWeeksPregnantThanTen

This ball of fun again.

#IThinkIWouldHaveBeenFeelingThisSickForLongerIfIWasTenWeeks

Looking at my Waiting project I was feeling sick at 6 weeks and by 8 weeks I felt really bad.

#ButIWasAlsoSoConvincedThatIWasPregnantWhenIWouldHaveOnlyBeenTwoWeeksIfIAmOnlySixWeeksNow

With B I had a period of two days, then it stopped so I thought it was weird, did a pregnancy test and I was about 4 weeks.

Earlier in the year when I was pregnant I had a period of sorts, then I was starting to wake up feeling sick and I was pregnant. About 6 weeks.

This time I had a normal period, then what seemed like a normal period, then a missed period. Then I did a test. I was feeling a bit sick before my missed period/or imagining things as I wanted to be pregnant. ?

#ItHasBeenGoodThatTiagoHadThisWeekOffAsItMeansIHaveHadPlentyOfTimeToRest

I am going to struggle when he goes back to work next week.

#WeHaveNotDoneMuchButThatIsFineAsIHaveBeenFeelingSoTiredAndSick

It’s been nice to just chill at home with T being available.

#BWokeUpAtSixFortyTodayRatherThanFiveFortyWhichWasABitOfARelief

Her heating comes on for a bit between 4 and 5, but it has been the last few days so who knows why she slept better today?

#WeHaveSatInTheParkAlotAndTodayWePlanToGoToAWildlifeCentre

Simple things. Hopefully she likes the centre today.

#IUpdatedHerBabyBookTheOtherDaySoItIsNearlyCompleteNow

Hurrah. I hadn’t looked at in a few months.

#IFeelLikeTheSecondKidWillNotHaveSuchAGoodOneButINeedToMakeTheEffortToMakeSureTheyHaveSomething

Or I need to change the way I do it. I’d feel bad if they didn’t have one.

#TheWombMustBeQuiteResilientToDealWithPregnantPeopleLookingAfterKids #BIsAlwaysFallingOnMeOrUsingMyStomachAsASupportPost #IHaveAlreadyHadMoreKnocksToMyStomachThanIDidDuringMyWholePregnancyWithHer

It freaks me out a bit when she touches my stomach, but I’m sure the baby is well protected.

#LastTimeWhenIWasPregnantIGotALetterFromTheMidwivesAfterTwoDays

Even though my Doctor said there was a massive delay with them.

#LastNightIGotATextFromMyDoctorsSayingINeedToPickAReferralLetterUpFromReception #IAmGuessingItIsToDoWithTheMidwivesButItSeemsWeirdThatTheyDoNotPostOrEmailIt

So it took longer to do the referral letter this time than it did for me to get a letter in the post this time? I know they’re busy. Maybe they thought it would be quicker for me to pick it up. It seems weird though. I’m going to go pick it up now.

#WellIWentToPickUpMyLetterUpAndIHaveCalledTheHospital

I guess they say to pick it up from reception now as the Doctors is operating more like in the ‘old days’ now. No having to wait outside for ages – the door was open.

I got myself a veggie samosa from a nearby shop on the way back and it was good.

#TheyHavePutMeDownAsSixWeeksForNowAndApparentlyTheyDoNotHaveABedForMeAtTheDueDateIfIAmTenWeeks

She said only I could say what date to put me down as. I said for 10 weeks. She said ‘well there are no beds left for then’. So I said to put me down as 6 weeks for now and we will have to see. If I wanted to be put down as 10 weeks a letter had to be sent to the higher ups or something, and maybe I am just 6 weeks. What a faff.

She said the first appointment will either be on the phone or in person. Last time they told me it would be on the phone, so things are changing.

(20th August: I was only 6 weeks here.)

6 weeks pregnant with B comparison:

Self-portrait of me sat with a purple scarf over myself. My left hand is just below my lips and I am gazing off and look deep in thought, though possibly just feeling sick.
Morning Sickness Is Not Only A Morning Thing (6 and a half weeks)
 
#SoTheSicknessComesAndGoes
#MorningSicknessIsSuchALie
#IAskedTheDoctorIfSheHadAnyTipsAfterIFirstWentWhenIFoundOut
#SheSaidThatMorningSicknessIsNotOnlyAMorningThing
#WellSheDidNotLie
#SometimesItIsTheMorning
#YesterdayICouldHaveBeenSickOverEverything
#LastWeekItWasMoreAnAfternoonThing
#ButSometimesItIsTheEvening
#SomeoneWasTalkingAboutWarmCamelsMilkTheOtherDay
#AndItWasMakingMeSoIll
#ThenILookedAtMyCollectionOfSoups
#AndJustReadingTheFlavoursMadeMeFeelIll
#ItIsSuchAWeirdThing
#IKnowThatNoOneReallyLikesToVomit
#ButIReallyHateIt
#IOnceProudlyCouldSayIHadNotVomitedInAtLeast10Years
#AndThenMyHousemateMadeMeSuperStrongRumCocktailsWhenIWasDoingMyBA
#AndThatWasGrim
#AndACharmingExBoyfriendTookPolaroidsOfMeByTheToilet 
#EvenThoughHeWasSickMostWeekendsBecauseOfAlcohol
#IDoNotKnowWhatHappenedToThosePolaroids
#BetTheyShowUpIn50Years
#Anyways
#YesterdayIHadStrongMeatAndFishCravingsEvenThoughIHaveBeenVegetarianForOverHalfMyLife
#CouldHaveEasilyEatenCodAndChipsOrATurkeyAndStuffingSandwich
#ThoughIThinkTheyWouldHaveMadeMeSick
#SoLastNightISettledForAVeganFishFreeBurger
#ItWasProbablyTheFirstTimeIHadEatenAFishBurger
#AndItWasAlrightButIWouldNotBeInARushToEatItAgain

Morning sickness is definitely a lie. With B I was generally sick in the mornings though struggled to eat anything at dinner except for pasta. This time I have been mostly sick in the evenings.

I didn’t like soup again this time and things like baked beans.

I haven’t had strong meat and fish cravings this time, though I’ve been taking double the amount of iron lately.

The bit about my ex-boyfriend taking pictures of me vomiting isn’t pleasant, but it’s true. Now I just take pictures of myself after vomiting…


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Categories
Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Imitating B’s Feet When She Holds Onto Furniture (11th April 2021)

Imitating B’s Feet When She Holds Onto Furniture (11th April 2021)

#IHaveSaidBeforeThatBIsAlwaysOnTheGoAndBangsHerHeadALot
#WellNowItIsEvenMoreSoThatMaybeWeShouldGetHerAHelmet
#ItIsWeirdThatWhenSheFallsAndMakesABigBangSheSeemsToCryLessThanWhenItBarelyMakesASound
#SheSeemsAbleToReachHerArmsFurtherAcrossTablesAndThingsNow
#SheLikesToReachForMyNansPapersAndChewOnThemOrRipThemUp
#WeHadToMoveNansOrnamentsOffHerRevolvingBookcaseAsBWasJustConstantlyTryingToPullThingsOff
#WeHaveReplacedThemWithBsBooksSoNowSheGetsDistractedByThemInstead
#ItIsNiceToHaveALittleLibraryThereThoughIAmGettingBoredOfReadingHerFavouritesOnRepeat
#SinceMyLastEntryIFeltMoreOptimisticAndLikeIWasGoingToStopWhiningAndBeMoreProactive
#WhichWasGreatForADayAndThenIFeltSuperDownAgain
#IMadeAPostInALocalGroupLookingForPlaymatesForBAndAskingAboutClassesAndThings
#ThePandemicHasBeenToughForEveryoneInDifferentWays
#AndIThinkItHasBeenATotalPostcodeLotteryWithWhatHasBeenGoingOnInLocalAreas
#TheGlimpseOfGoodWeatherMadeMeFeelGreatAsSittingOutsideMadeSuchAChangeToOurDay
#SoTheBadWeatherMadeMeFeelLockedInsideAgain
#YesterdayWeWentForAWalkInTheRainAsIFeltLikeINeededToGetOut
#HopefullyThingsCanOnlyGetBetterFromHereWithMoreThingsReopeningAndBetterWeatherOnTheHorizon
#IAmSureThatIWillSoonBeWhiningAboutHowIFeelLikeIDoNotFitInInLocalGroups
#ButTheChangeOfSceneryAndBreakInOurRoutinesWillBeReallyGoodForUs
#OrMeAnywaysAsBDoesNotReallyCareButIThinkSheWillLikeToSeeMoreYoungPeople
#IHaveMadeAnEffortToTryOutNewParksThisWeek
#TheOtherDayBWasSmilingAtAYoungGirlSoThatWasNice
#IThinkBMightHaveSeenATrainForTheFirstTimeTooWhichIsWeird
#SheDidNotSeemThatBotheredByItButSheDoesTakeNoteOfBusesThatIPointOut
#BIsStillTeethingALot
#ItHurtsWhenSheWantsToTeethOnMyFingerAndBitesItWithHerTooth
#ItStillLooksLikeItNeedsToComeOutOfHerGumsMore
#WeStartedToUseANewMoisturiserOnBsSkinAndItDoesNotSeemToBeGettingAnyWorse
#IFeelLikeIAmDefinitelyNotBeingTheBestMotherForBThatICouldBe
#INeedToJustDoBetterAndKeepTryingToMoveInAPositiveDirectionAndDoWhatIsBestForHer

#IHaveSaidBeforeThatBIsAlwaysOnTheGoAndBangsHerHeadALot

I am pretty sure I have anyways.

#WellNowItIsEvenMoreSoThatMaybeWeShouldGetHerAHelmet

We won’t. We just need to be more vigilant, but it’s hard to be on top form all day…

#ItIsWeirdThatWhenSheFallsAndMakesABigBangSheSeemsToCryLessThanWhenItBarelyMakesASound

Not always the case, but it happens enough for us to comment on it (and for me to hashtag about it).

#SheSeemsAbleToReachHerArmsFurtherAcrossTablesAndThingsNow

Probably with the help of always standing on her tiptoes, but she seemed to be doing that before she really knew what she was doing.

#SheLikesToReachForMyNansPapersAndChewOnThemOrRipThemUp

My Nan doesn’t really take them off her, so I can’t really blame B too much.

She has an obsession with grabbing my Nan’s heater (when it’s not on – it’s not on if she’s in the room). I tell her not to do it all the time. The other day she was just laughing at me for saying no.

#WeHadToMoveNansOrnamentsOffHerRevolvingBookcaseAsBWasJustConstantlyTryingToPullThingsOff

I feel like everything in the living room is constantly being moved around to avoid B’s grasp. My Nan likes to rearrange everything, but then B likes to get hold of them so it’s a constant game. Baby chess?

#WeHaveReplacedThemWithBsBooksSoNowSheGetsDistractedByThemInstead

Well it is a bookcase so it makes sense. I was worried B would just pull herself up on it and pull them off, but that doesn’t seem to be the case… yet.

#ItIsNiceToHaveALittleLibraryThereThoughIAmGettingBoredOfReadingHerFavouritesOnRepeat

The House That Jack Built, The Very Hungry Caterpillar, some new book about dinosaurs that feels very nice to touch but the story isn’t great… Her bedtime books are Peppa Pig’s My Daddy and Goodnight You, Goodnight Me.

#SinceMyLastEntryIFeltMoreOptimisticAndLikeIWasGoingToStopWhiningAndBeMoreProactive #WhichWasGreatForADayAndThenIFeltSuperDownAgain

I had a day where I felt amazing, and then crashhh.

(I don’t write these things for pity. I know I am not the only person who feels like this, so I hope by talking about things it might help someone else. I still have a befriender who calls me about my mental health. I thought about quitting, but my reasons for wanting to quit were the reasons why I needed to stay – mainly feeling stressed out and like I didn’t have time for it.)

#IMadeAPostInALocalGroupLookingForPlaymatesForBAndAskingAboutClassesAndThings

The thought got in my head so I thought I better do it. I spent ages daydreaming about what I would write while B was awake, then when she went to sleep I thought ‘no I shouldn’t do it’. But because I had spent so much time thinking about it I thought I had better do it.

People sent good suggestions, and a few people got in touch about hanging out. We’ll see if it happens though. I realised that I know more people around here than I think I do, so I’ve reached out to people to see if they want to hang out soon. That’s a positive at least.

#ThePandemicHasBeenToughForEveryoneInDifferentWays

I whine, but I know things have been a lot worse for other people. It’s been hard for us all in different ways.

#AndIThinkItHasBeenATotalPostcodeLotteryWithWhatHasBeenGoingOnInLocalAreas

Still jealous that friends have been going to playgroups/support groups/outside groups in other areas. I really should just organise my own group…

(3rd May: I’ve been throwing this ‘postcode lottery’ phrase around a lot this week as in Liverpool the health visitor’s are starting to do 10 month checks on babies in person, whereas they will not be coming to us – the Birmingham health visitor that is – so I just have to fill in a questionnaire.)

#TheGlimpseOfGoodWeatherMadeMeFeelGreatAsSittingOutsideMadeSuchAChangeToOurDay

It felt so good to sit outside with B and some toys. A bit of sun, a bit of fun and less distractions.

#SoTheBadWeatherMadeMeFeelLockedInsideAgain

This morning it was snowing/raining and I thought we would have to cancel plans with friends. I felt bummed out. Luckily it’s now sunny so we can meet them, hurrah!

#YesterdayWeWentForAWalkInTheRainAsIFeltLikeINeededToGetOut

We kept waiting for the rain to stop, but it didn’t so I made us go out. We took an umbrella, but in the end we didn’t even use it as it was only drizzling.

#HopefullyThingsCanOnlyGetBetterFromHereWithMoreThingsReopeningAndBetterWeatherOnTheHorizon

It has nearly been 4 months since we last went to a class in person. Typically with the walks that we don’t go on due to the timings not being great – one is moving to a better time for us later this month, so that should be good (if we can book a slot quick enough).

#IAmSureThatIWillSoonBeWhiningAboutHowIFeelLikeIDoNotFitInInLocalGroups

Watch this space.

#ButTheChangeOfSceneryAndBreakInOurRoutinesWillBeReallyGoodForUs

I think so. It will be good for B. Doing one of our classes on zoom has meant I have got to know one of the teachers fairly well (especially when B was the only person taking part the other week) and we might recognise some of the other Mums and babies.

#OrMeAnywaysAsBDoesNotReallyCareButIThinkSheWillLikeToSeeMoreYoungPeople

It will be good for her. It’s good for her to see that more people exist in the world. I just want to see her crawling round with other babies as she’s yet to do that!

#IHaveMadeAnEffortToTryOutNewParksThisWeek

Well, one we have been to before but the other one has been on our list for a while.

#TheOtherDayBWasSmilingAtAYoungGirlSoThatWasNice

I do not know how to interact with little kids. I’m not sure how she felt about B just staring at her.

#IThinkBMightHaveSeenATrainForTheFirstTimeTooWhichIsWeird

I do like seeing trains pass by (yeah weird I know), so we will be going by there again.

#SheDidNotSeemThatBotheredByItButSheDoesTakeNoteOfBusesThatIPointOut

I should have made a train noise perhaps. It may have gone by too fast for her to really register it.

#BIsStillTeethingALot

The neverending joy.

#ItHurtsWhenSheWantsToTeethOnMyFingerAndBitesItWithHerTooth

She finds it funny when I go ‘argh!’

#ItStillLooksLikeItNeedsToComeOutOfHerGumsMore

I think so? It looks like it should be bigger than how it is, but maybe it is how it should be? I don’t know.

#WeStartedToUseANewMoisturiserOnBsSkinAndItDoesNotSeemToBeGettingAnyWorse

It’s this one from Childs Farm. Someone on a local Mums whatsapp group mentioned it, so I thought we’d give it a go. We’re still using the Dermol 500 and Diprobase, and applying them regularly, but now I also put the moisturiser on her once or twice a day too. The fact that her skin doesn’t seem to be getting worse is good. I’d say her skin looks about 98% normal right now.

#IFeelLikeIAmDefinitelyNotBeingTheBestMotherForBThatICouldBe

I’m tired. I do not read to her as much as I should, I’ve given up with her YouTube baby classes, I probably do not talk to her as much as I should and the list goes on.

#INeedToJustDoBetterAndKeepTryingToMoveInAPositiveDirectionAndDoWhatIsBestForHer

I need to be better and do better for B. The other day I took her out twice even though the weather wasn’t good, so I might just take her out more. That’s why I want the better weather to come so we can just sit outside more, and maybe I can start giving her lunch in the park and we can just enjoy nature more.

We’ll see.


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