Categories
Pregnancy Waiting II

33 / Portrait Of A Mother Of A Sixteen Month Old (24 Weeks / October 2021)

Self-portrait with B. I am holding her in my arms and she is touching my face with both of her hands. Her right foot has been photoshopped (duplicated and mirrored) over her eye, nose and mouth.
33 / Portrait Of A Mother Of A Sixteen Month Old (24 Weeks / October 2021)
 
#IHaveAlreadyDoneTheShootForOnceAndWasTryingToCopyTheShootThatBAndIDidTogetherWhenITurned32
#BackThenThoughSheDidNotMoveAboutMuchSoTodayWasAMassiveWriggleFest
#AtOnePointSheWasJustMessingWithMyFaceAndAsHerNailsNeedToBeCutMyLipHurtsABit
#HerNewFavouriteThingIsStandingUpOnHerBouncingZebraToyAndOnHerSmallCar
#SheHasBeenThreateningToDoItForAWhileSoIWasImpressedWhenSheActuallyStoodUpOnThemAndWithSoMuchControl
#IGuessAllTheClimbingOnHerFrameAndRampAndStandingInTheWobblyCarAtTheParkHasReallyImprovedHerBalanceAndCoreStrength
#AtTheWeekendWeWentToSeeMyParentsAndBHadLotsOfFunExploringTheirGarden
#TheyHaveOfferedToWatchBForAWeekendSoWeHaveJustBookedIntoAHotelWhereThereIsAPoolAndWeIntendToJustSwimEatAndSleep
#WeThoughtItWasAtLeastABitOfADriveFromTheirHouseButItIsOnly15MinutesAwayWhichIGuessIsGoodInCaseWeNeedToGetBackForAnyReason
#TypicallyAsSoonAsTheySaidTheyWouldHaveHerSheDidNotSleepVeryWellThatNightAtAll
#SheHasAMouthFullOfTeethNowButIThinkSheIsGoingThroughAParticularlyBadTeethingPhase
#WeTriedToSeeIfSheWouldSettleButAfterAWhileWeHadToGoInWithParacetamolAndAfterAnotherVisitWhereWeBothLaidWithHerInHerCotSheFinallyWentToSleepTwoHoursLater
#YesterdaySheMissedHerMorningNapWhichIThinkWasDueToMeForgettingToGiveHerParacetamol
#IHaveHadMyFluVaccineNowWhichIsGoodAndMyArmDidNotHurtAtAllOrAnything
#TwoHoursAfterTheAppointmentAtAPharmacyMyDoctorsMessagedToSayICouldHaveAFluJabWithThemThisWeek
#YesterdayWeDugOutTheRestOfMyMaternityPillowAsIHaveJustBeenUsingASmallSectionOfItForWeeks
#IFindMyselfWakingUpALotMoreAtNightNowAndOftenOnMyBackWhichIsNotGood
#IFeelLikeMyBumpIsGettingSoBigThatICanNotImagineItGettingMuchBiggerButIKnowItWill
#INeedToStartReadingHypnobirthingStuffAgainAndMentallyPreparingMyselfForTheBirth
#ThisWeekISaidToTiagoThatWeNeedToStartThinkingAboutBabyNamesAgain
#HeJustTurnedToBAndSaidTheNextSoundYouMakeWillBeTheNameOfYourSister
#WeBothWatchedHerWithAnticipationAndAfterALittleWhileSheDidABurp
#IAmTryingToImagineHowItWillBeOnMyNextBirthdayWhenIAm34AndWillMostLikelyHaveTwoKids
#ThePictureWillDefinitelyBeMoreOfAStruggleForSure
#IKeepSayingItButIKnowIWillNeedToAcceptThatThereWillBeLessTimeForMeForAWhile
#AtTheMomentTiagoUsuallyGetsBUpAndGivesHerBreakfastWhileIStretchAndFaffABit
#WithANewbornIKnowThatTimeWillProbablyBecomeBabyFeedingTimeAndIWillJustNeedToRestWhenICan
#WeOrderedAnIndianTakeawayLastNightThatWeWillAlsoHaveForDinnerTonight
#TiagoGetsStressedOutAboutPresentsEveryYearButIDoNotReallyWantAnything
#IAmOwedAFewMassagesThatHaveBeenGiftedForBirthdaysAndHolidaysEtcFromHimViaWordSoMaybeIWillActuallyGetOneOnOurWeekendAway

#IHaveAlreadyDoneTheShootForOnceAndWasTryingToCopyTheShootThatBAndIDidTogetherWhenITurned32

We did the shoot before her first nap.

(32 shoot.)

#BackThenThoughSheDidNotMoveAboutMuchSoTodayWasAMassiveWriggleFest

I was a bit nervous about how it would go, which was why I was keen to do it asap today.

#AtOnePointSheWasJustMessingWithMyFaceAndAsHerNailsNeedToBeCutMyLipHurtsABit

She found it hilarious. There is a series of her laughing her head off at me.

She was grumpy in the beginning, but then she got into it – especially when she could see the photos of herself and steal my remote.

#HerNewFavouriteThingIsStandingUpOnHerBouncingZebraToyAndOnHerSmallCar

Now I can not look away as you never know what daredevil stunt she will be doing next.

#SheHasBeenThreateningToDoItForAWhileSoIWasImpressedWhenSheActuallyStoodUpOnThemAndWithSoMuchControl

The zebra is quite tall, but she stands up quite slowly and steadily. She does fall off from time to time though.

She was standing on the car in the kitchen and fell off a couple of times. That one does move as it has wheels. The zebra does rotate though.

#IGuessAllTheClimbingOnHerFrameAndRampAndStandingInTheWobblyCarAtTheParkHasReallyImprovedHerBalanceAndCoreStrength

I am quite impressed considering how often she falls over and I thought for a while that her balance was terrible, so it has improved quickly.

#AtTheWeekendWeWentToSeeMyParentsAndBHadLotsOfFunExploringTheirGarden

For a while she just sat playing with stones, she was super intrigued by their cat, and a bit freaked out by their turkeys.

#TheyHaveOfferedToWatchBForAWeekendSoWeHaveJustBookedIntoAHotelWhereThereIsAPoolAndWeIntendToJustSwimEatAndSleep

It will be our first over night stay away from B as a couple. Weird. It is nice to think of grand schemes to get up to, but yeah we just want to sleep, watch some crap TV, eat some nice food and swim. I need to get a new swimming costume as the one I wore in summer was tight then.

#WeThoughtItWasAtLeastABitOfADriveFromTheirHouseButItIsOnly15MinutesAwayWhichIGuessIsGoodInCaseWeNeedToGetBackForAnyReason

I was just looking for places with a pool and my geography is obviously really terrible. I feel so tired writing this. I think the reviews said the beds are comfy.

#TypicallyAsSoonAsTheySaidTheyWouldHaveHerSheDidNotSleepVeryWellThatNightAtAll

She does not cry much usually, but she was crying quite heavily. We were quite concerned.

#SheHasAMouthFullOfTeethNowButIThinkSheIsGoingThroughAParticularlyBadTeethingPhase

Maybe it was affecting her ears as well? At first I thought it was an ear infection.

#WeTriedToSeeIfSheWouldSettleButAfterAWhileWeHadToGoInWithParacetamolAndAfterAnotherVisitWhereWeBothLaidWithHerInHerCotSheFinallyWentToSleepTwoHoursLater

We were conflicted over her sleep training, and naturally reacting to how we saw her. Tiago did cuddle her a lot the first time round until she calmed down, but she was still upset.

So after a while he went in again and as she was still crying I also went in. We laid in her cot with her and before long she was clapping and laughing, so I read her bedtime story and sang Twinkle Twinkle to her to let her know it was bedtime, then she settled. Phew.

#YesterdaySheMissedHerMorningNapWhichIThinkWasDueToMeForgettingToGiveHerParacetamol

I planned to give it to her, but forgot. We usually don’t use the syringe that comes with it, so I have to use that now and realised that we haven’t been giving her the full dose that she is allowed so hopefully by doing that she will be in less pain now.

#IHaveHadMyFluVaccineNowWhichIsGoodAndMyArmDidNotHurtAtAllOrAnything

Hurrah. I have been tired, but I think that is a normal pregnancy symptom…

#TwoHoursAfterTheAppointmentAtAPharmacyMyDoctorsMessagedToSayICouldHaveAFluJabWithThemThisWeek

Typical. It would have been easier. Oh well.

#YesterdayWeDugOutTheRestOfMyMaternityPillowAsIHaveJustBeenUsingASmallSectionOfItForWeeks

I was reading about how I need to support my whole body more, so I thought we better find it. It was vacuum packed in the garage.

#IFindMyselfWakingUpALotMoreAtNightNowAndOftenOnMyBackWhichIsNotGood

Often I wake up on my back and know I shouldn’t be on my back, but just kind of end up staying there. Whoops.

#IFeelLikeMyBumpIsGettingSoBigThatICanNotImagineItGettingMuchBiggerButIKnowItWill

Definitely less space for food these days.

#INeedToStartReadingHypnobirthingStuffAgainAndMentallyPreparingMyselfForTheBirth

I’m going to finish reading Dave Grohl’s book then I’ll start reading my hypnobirthing books.

#ThisWeekISaidToTiagoThatWeNeedToStartThinkingAboutBabyNamesAgain

With B we didn’t have that many thinking sessions about them. We had one early on and then left it for ages. It seems to be our approach this time around too…

#HeJustTurnedToBAndSaidTheNextSoundYouMakeWillBeTheNameOfYourSister

She does babble quite a lot now so I was wondering what she would say.

#WeBothWatchedHerWithAnticipationAndAfterALittleWhileSheDidABurp

Classic B.

#IAmTryingToImagineHowItWillBeOnMyNextBirthdayWhenIAm34AndWillMostLikelyHaveTwoKids

I say ‘most likely’ as I am still quite anxious about things.

#ThePictureWillDefinitelyBeMoreOfAStruggleForSure

I might need to recruit Tiago, or I imagine B might be stood at my feet just pulling on my top. I will have probably mastered how to hold both of them, but who knows.

#IKeepSayingItButIKnowIWillNeedToAcceptThatThereWillBeLessTimeForMeForAWhile

I thought about it again this morning.

#AtTheMomentTiagoUsuallyGetsBUpAndGivesHerBreakfastWhileIStretchAndFaffABit

Not too shabby.

#WithANewbornIKnowThatTimeWillProbablyBecomeBabyFeedingTimeAndIWillJustNeedToRestWhenICan

Less reading, less working, more just resting when I can and looking after my kids. It’s weird to say kids.

#WeOrderedAnIndianTakeawayLastNightThatWeWillAlsoHaveForDinnerTonight

Tiago thought about ordering from somewhere more fancy, but I like our local place. I know what we like. We ordered a couple of different things for once too and they were good.

#TiagoGetsStressedOutAboutPresentsEveryYearButIDoNotReallyWantAnything

If I want something I usually get it for myself.

#IAmOwedAFewMassagesThatHaveBeenGiftedForBirthdaysAndHolidaysEtcFromHimViaWordSoMaybeIWillActuallyGetOneOnOurWeekendAway

Covid, B and life have just stopped me having one. I definitely want a proper one after Baby X is born. I haven’t had many in my life, but I know it will be good for my body, and me.

24 weeks pregnant with B comparison:

Diptych where in both I am stood sideways with my left arm forward, my right arm hanging down with a remote, my left leg is forward and my right leg is back. In the first I am breathing out and my bump is visible, in the second I am breathing in and my bump is a bit smaller.
I Tried To Suck In My Bump, But It Didn’t Really Work (24 weeks)
 
#BeforeIWasPregnantIDidNotLikeWearingTightTops
#IBoughtSomeForTheWinterThisYearButDidNotRealiseTheyWereSoTight
#AsTheyWereInPacketsAndIThoughtTheyWereLikeTheOnesIAlreadyHad
#WellIGuessIStillDoNotLikeWearingTightTopsButIHaveBeenWearingThem
#ISupposeIWantToTakeAdvantageOfTheFactThatBumpsAreSeenAsBeautiful
#ThoughNowIAmAtThePointWhereILoveMyBumpButIFeelAwkwardWhenPeopleNoticeIt
#IWoreThisTopTheOtherDayButDidNotThinkMuchAsIWasGoingToWearAJumperOverIt
#ButIWasWarmSoIWasAtTheOfficeAndFeltSelfConsciousWalkingDownTheCorridor
#WhenIWalkedPastAnOfficeWithAnOpenDoorITriedToSuckInMyBump
#ButIRealisedThatItDidNotChangeMuch
#ThenInTheEveningAGroupOfUsWentOutForDinner
#AndItWasHotSoISatInMyTopFeelingAwkward
#ThenWhenIWentToTheBathroomITriedToBreatheInMyBumpABit
#AndPutMyArmsInAWayToTryToCoverItABit
#IGuessIThoughtPeopleWouldJudgeMeForBeingPregnantAndWearingATightTop
#NoMatterHowYouLookAsAWomanYouWillBeCriticisedForSomethingAnyways
#InOtherNewsIAmABitWorriedAboutTheCoronaVirus
#IfIWasNotPregnantThenIWouldNotBeSoWorried
#ButBecauseIAmIDoNotKnowHowItWouldAffectTheBaby
#WouldItHaveLongTermHealthProblemsBecauseOfIt
#WhoKnows
#IAmJustWashingMyHandsMore
#AndSideEyeingPeopleWhoCoughWithNoAttemptToCoverTheirMouthInPublic
#HopefullyItWillBeUnderControlSoon
#IForgotToMentionInMyLastPhotoThatIHadSuchABadHipPainACoupleOfDaysBeforeThePictureWasTaken
#IThinkIJustOverStretchedItBySittingWithButterflyLegsForTooLong
#ButThenItWasReallyAwkwardForMeToWalkForTwoDays
#IStretchedMoreAndGotOverItLuckily
#GettingBoredOfHavingToStretchSoMuch
#ButIFeelGoodAfterwards

I am currently (31st October) sat in one of my tight tops. I feel less awkward as no one really sees me these days. I have breathed in a few times in the mirror to see if it makes a difference, but at this point it does not.

‘#HopefullyItWillBeUnderControlSoon’

I can’t believe that Covid is still a thing and cases are going up… At least we have vaccines now. I have been less scared now that I am double vaccinated, and I feel better for having the flu jab as well.

I have been stretching more this time, so I think that is helping a lot.


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Categories
Pregnancy Waiting II

Portrait Of A Mother Of A Twelve Month Old (7 Weeks? / 15th June 2021)

Self-portrait sat on the floor with legs crossed. I have a hat on that says 1 on it, and I am holding the camera of a video monitor in my right hand.
Portrait Of A Mother Of A Twelve Month Old (7 Weeks? / 15th June 2021)

#ICannotAndCanBelieveThatBIsOneYearOldItHasGoneFastInSomeWaysAndVerySlowInOtherWays
#IWroteAPoemToCelebrateHerBirthdayButItIsQuiteRubbish
#HerNewTrickIsToGargleAllHerWater
#WeTookHerOutForLunchAndSheJustSatThereGargling
#WeWentToAWildlifeParkButIThinkTiagoAndIEnjoyedItMoreThoughItWasALotForHerToTakeIn
#TiagoIsBackAtWorkNowSoINeedToAdjustToNotBeingAbleToGoOffForNapsAllTheTime
#PoorTiagoIsMoreTiredThanBeforeHeHadHisWeekOffSoIFeelBadAboutThat
#IFeelKnackeredNowAndHopeIHaveTimeForAQuickLieDownAfterThis
#WeHaveStartedToGiveBGoatsMilkInsteadOfFormulaThoughWeWillChangeToCowsMilkSoon
#TodayWasTheFirstDayOfNotGivingHerFormulaWhenSheWokeUpAndIHadToGetOnWithBreakfastPrettyQuick
#MakingFoodJustMakesMeWantToVomitButINeedToEatAsOtherwiseIFeelMoreSick
#IAmSoBoredOfFeelingSickAlready
#IWasSickForTheFirstTimeTheOtherDayButIAmTryingToAvoidItAsIHateItSoMuch
#IWasHalfWayThroughMakingBsLunchOmeletteWhenIHadToRunOut
#TiagoCameToAskTheInstructionsToFinishItInbetweenMyGags
#ItIsEitherFeelHorribleAndBeSickOrFeelSickAndEatEvenThoughIDoNotFeelLikeItAndThenFeelBetter
#IMadeBABatchOfRatatouilleThisMorningAndItReallyMadeMeFeelIllDoingIt
#EatingBeigeFoodsGenerallyMakeMeFeelBetter
#IHaveBeenGettingALotOfCravingsForReallyVinegaryChipsAndMushyPeas
#LastNightBeforeGoingToBedICouldHaveEatenACheeseAndRedOnionWhiteBap
#ReallyWateredDownJuiceSeemsToBeANewThingThatIDesire
#IDoNotLikeEatingLateButIThinkIAmGoingToHaveToOtherwiseIWillProbablyStartBeingSickInTheEvenings
#WhyArePregnantPeoplePunishedByFeelingSickAllOfTheTime
#IAmNowSayingThatIAmSevenWeeksNowAsIDoThinkItIsMoreLikelyButIJustWantToBeFurtherAlongAlready
#TiagosLaptopScreenThatBBrokeAMonthAgoSuddenlyStartedToWorkAgainSoThatIsGood
#ThisPostIsSupposedToBeAboutBTurningOneButItIsMostlyAboutMyMorningSicknessAndTiredness
#InThePictureIHopeToImitatePhotosOfBThatITookToCelebrateHerBirthday
#IGotHerAHatThatSays1OnItThoughTheySentMeOneThatSaid3OnItAtFirst
#TheOnlyThingThatWouldDistractHerWasHerBabyMonitor
#AndSheWoreAOnePieceSoIWillWearTheOneIHaveStartedToWearAgainAsIKnowIWillNotGetMuchUseOutOfItThisSummer

#ICannotAndCanBelieveThatBIsOneYearOldItHasGoneFastInSomeWaysAndVerySlowInOtherWays

My little baby who could not support her own head is now one. What. A. Year.

#IWroteAPoemToCelebrateHerBirthdayButItIsQuiteRubbish

This post was initially just going to be a poem as of course it only has 30 lines, but I did not put it into hashtag form.

Here it is for the lolz:

B You Are One!

Oh what a year, oh what a ride,

But I am so grateful to have you by my side.

This poem is already cheesy and a bit cliché,

But I thought I should write something to celebrate your first birthday.

You were born during a pandemic in the year 2020,

We stayed in hospital for four days and I ate butternut squash curry aplenty.

Your Pai was relieved to see you arrive home,

Together is better than seeing us through the small screen of our phones.

You spent your first four months in Liverpool and saw lots of the river,

Nothing much was open so all we could do was walk and dither.

Then we moved to Birmingham to live with your Great Nan,

You like lots of books but a current favourite is This Old Man.

Here you’ve learned how to crawl, babble and eat,

I think soon you’ll be walking as you’re finding your feet.

You can say Dad and duck; you do like to go to the pond,

We’re trying to work out if you’ll be a brunette or blonde.

At your baby classes you like to wander and explore,

You bang your foot in time to music on the wood of the floor.

I like when you enjoy something and so clap your hands,

We hope soon you’ll get to visit friends in far distant lands.

Maybe we’ll get to go to Portugal and meet your family there,

When you sit on the swings you like to watch people and stare.

We look forward to seeing you develop and grow,

We’re learning a lot, there’s a lot we don’t know.

We still don’t know much about what parents should do,

But we’re making the effort to find out just for you.

We’re glad you’re here, you’ll always be our little B,

We love you so much and plan to do so permanently.

Here’s to your first birthday, what a year it has been,

You’re our baby, our bunny, you’re our little queen.

The End

(23rd August: I’d completely forgotten that I wrote a poem for B….)

#HerNewTrickIsToGargleAllHerWater

Great. Take a gulp. Gargle. Take a gulp. Gargle. And repeat until the whole cup is empty.

I think she has just woken up from her nap. Fail. I had the heating on as I thought she may be cold. I’ve just put it on again. I thought that I’d been putting it on in the morning, but apparently I haven’t been. I need to try that again as she keeps waking up at 5.40am and it’s too early… She seems asleep for now.

#WeTookHerOutForLunchAndSheJustSatThereGargling

Luckily two women by us found it funny. It is funny, but it’s a bit much after 20 goes of it. I guess she is clever for working it out though…

#WeWentToAWildlifeParkButIThinkTiagoAndIEnjoyedItMoreThoughItWasALotForHerToTakeIn

Most of the animals were hiding or napping, so I don’t think B saw most of them. We only got a photo of her looking at a komodo dragon.

#TiagoIsBackAtWorkNowSoINeedToAdjustToNotBeingAbleToGoOffForNapsAllTheTime

Boo hoo hoo hoo hoo. How will I cope with two kids? Though at least I won’t be feeling sick all the time. I think/hope the first trimester is the worst.

#PoorTiagoIsMoreTiredThanBeforeHeHadHisWeekOffSoIFeelBadAboutThat

🙁

#IFeelKnackeredNowAndHopeIHaveTimeForAQuickLieDownAfterThis

If B stays asleep… It’s looking unlikely.

#WeHaveStartedToGiveBGoatsMilkInsteadOfFormulaThoughWeWillChangeToCowsMilkSoon

I did some more reading about goats milk and I think we should just move to cows milk when her carton is over. Plus just having cows milk will be easier as we can use it with all her cooking.

She seemed unsure of the milk, but now I just make sure to warm it up a little bit. I gave her 100ml before she had this nap and she probably drank 80/90 of it, so that’s good. Yesterday she didn’t drink much, but it probably didn’t help that we gave her formula in the morning. Apparently it’s sweeter?

#TodayWasTheFirstDayOfNotGivingHerFormulaWhenSheWokeUpAndIHadToGetOnWithBreakfastPrettyQuick

She was upset and I thought maybe she was hungry. She got up at 5.40am. She had some water. She had breakfast at 7am.

#MakingFoodJustMakesMeWantToVomitButINeedToEatAsOtherwiseIFeelMoreSick

I make a tomato and egg omelette/scrambled egg thing for myself with garlic powder, pepper and oregano then bung it between two pieces of buttered toast. I just have to eat it slowly. I make it for myself after B’s porridge has been pancaked and the pan is still hot. Boring info.

#IAmSoBoredOfFeelingSickAlready

Boredd.

#IWasSickForTheFirstTimeTheOtherDayButIAmTryingToAvoidItAsIHateItSoMuch #IWasHalfWayThroughMakingBsLunchOmeletteWhenIHadToRunOut

I have days where I just feel sick all day. I have started a Puke Portraits II project, but I hope to just keep it to a very small number of images. I also can’t be bothered to spend the time writing hashtags and editing the images.

#TiagoCameToAskTheInstructionsToFinishItInbetweenMyGags

Lovely.

#ItIsEitherFeelHorribleAndBeSickOrFeelSickAndEatEvenThoughIDoNotFeelLikeItAndThenFeelBetter

A friend was saying the other day that when you usually feel sick you don’t want to eat and you don’t, but with pregnancy sickness you have to eat. Yep.

#IMadeBABatchOfRatatouilleThisMorningAndItReallyMadeMeFeelIllDoingIt

I was supposed to do it yesterday but Tiago was busy and I didn’t look for the passata well enough, and I felt too sick to make it so I didn’t bother trying much harder.

#EatingBeigeFoodsGenerallyMakeMeFeelBetter

Nan got some crumpets. Great. Mini cheddars seem like a good option at the moment. Crisps in general. I’m trying to eat more nuts…

#IHaveBeenGettingALotOfCravingsForReallyVinegaryChipsAndMushyPeas

Writing this and reading this makes me want them again.

#LastNightBeforeGoingToBedICouldHaveEatenACheeseAndRedOnionWhiteBap

Not feeling that so much now. My Nan bought some baps and made a cheese and tomato one before dinner yesterday. I could eat one of those now…

#ReallyWateredDownJuiceSeemsToBeANewThingThatIDesire

Water with a hint of something. Going to try elderflower cordial, though I probably should have asked for some ginger cordial instead…

#IDoNotLikeEatingLateButIThinkIAmGoingToHaveToOtherwiseIWillProbablyStartBeingSickInTheEvenings

Piece of toast before bed? Probably a good idea.

#WhyArePregnantPeoplePunishedByFeelingSickAllOfTheTime

Whoever/whatever invented pregnancy symptoms is a sod. Aren’t we punished enough with periods and menopause? Then we don’t get periods, which is nice, but then we have to deal with sickness. Sod. To those who don’t get morning sickness – you’re lucky!

#IAmNowSayingThatIAmSevenWeeksNowAsIDoThinkItIsMoreLikelyButIJustWantToBeFurtherAlongAlready

I just want to be clear of the first trimester already, and I want to get my jab. (I know I can get it already, but I do want to wait until 14 weeks like some countries suggest/are doing.)

#TiagosLaptopScreenThatBBrokeAMonthAgoSuddenlyStartedToWorkAgainSoThatIsGood

He came in showing me his laptop all excited. I was like ‘yeah the Google logo has always looked like that?’ Ahhh okay.

#ThisPostIsSupposedToBeAboutBTurningOneButItIsMostlyAboutMyMorningSicknessAndTiredness

Sorry love. I should have just made this post the poem and left my sickness until later in the week. I’m starting to feel a bit sick again now…

#InThePictureIHopeToImitatePhotosOfBThatITookToCelebrateHerBirthday

One hat. All in one outfit. Holding a video monitor. Looking quite serious.

(23rd August: I seemed to achieve it.)

#IGotHerAHatThatSays1OnItThoughTheySentMeOneThatSaid3OnItAtFirst

Well that will keep. Let’s see if I can find it in 2 years.

#TheOnlyThingThatWouldDistractHerWasHerBabyMonitor

We tried all the toys. T was getting frustrated. She liked the baby monitor and her room thermometer – things we don’t usually let her play with. I managed to move the thermometer out of the frame though.

#AndSheWoreAOnePieceSoIWillWearTheOneIHaveStartedToWearAgainAsIKnowIWillNotGetMuchUseOutOfItThisSummer

I suddenly remembered about it yesterday. I don’t remember wearing it last summer, and if things go to plan I doubt I will be fitting in it for much longer.

I’m going to eat some mini cheddars, then have a lie down…

7 weeks pregnant with B comparison:

A diptych of two full length images of me with my top pulled up to document my bump. In one I
I Have Nothing To Show Yet (7 weeks)
 
#ItIsColdNowSoIAmWearingExtraLayers
#IHaveNothingToShowYet
#OrMaybeIDoButIAmSureIHaveLookedTheSameAsThisEveryTimeIHaveEatenForManyYears
#IHaveLookedMorePregnantBeforeAfterOrderingAnIndianTakeawayAndNotBeingAbleToStop
#AtChristmas2018MyParentsThoughtIWasPregnantAsIWasWearingBaggyClothing
#AndIChooseComfortOverFashion
#YouKnowMe
#ThoughIWouldNotMindLookingALittleBetter
#IJustHateClothesShopping
#AndNowIsNotTheTimeToStartGettingIntoClothesMore
#BecauseTheyEitherWillNotFitMeForLongOrTheyWillNotFitMeAfter
#AGoodReasonForBaggierClothingThisWinterThoughIsToHideMyGrowingBoobs
#IToldAFriendThatIAmPregnantAndSheSaidSheThoughtMyBoobsLookedBiggerAndThisWasTwoWeeksAgo
#IHaveAlwaysHadAWeirdRelationshipWithThem
#BeingToldInHighSchoolThatIWasTwoParacetamolsOnAnIroningBoard
#AndBeingUpsetButAlsoNotCaringAsIWasLikeBoobsAreJustForBabiesAnyways
#AndTheIdeaOfMeWithBiggerBoobsWasJustWeird
#BeingToldByGuysThatTheyUsuallyDateGirlsWithBiggerBoobs
#Lol 
#ButIThinkBoobsBringAttentionAndIDoLikeToBeInvisible
#IReallyCanNotImagineMySelfHavingBigBoobs
#AndGoingOutWithThemOnDisplay
#NoOffenceToOtherPeopleWhoShowTheirsOff
#TheyLookGoodOnYouButTheyLookWeirdAsHellOnMe
#ThisPostHasTooManyBoobs
#NotSureIfIPreferBoobsOrBreasts
#BreastsJustSoundsLikeMeatRightNowAndThatIsMakingMeFeelSickEvenThoughIHadMeatCravingsYesterdayAndIAmVegetarian
#IThinkHowIFeelTowardsMyBodyDuringAndAfterMyPregnancyWillBeInteresting
#ParticularlyAsPregnantIsSeenAsBeautifulAndMyBodyGrowingIsForAGoodThingButThenAsSoonAsYouGiveBirthThereIsALotOfPressureToBeAsYouWereAgain
#IJustWantToLookAfterMyselfAndBodyAsBestAsICan 

B and baby X will be born in complete opposite seasons. In this diptych I am cold, but in my new photo I was quite hot.

I still look a mess all the time, so nothing has changed there. I feel like my boobs didn’t grow as quick this time, which I was kind of relieved about. They’re probably different from breastfeeding, but I can’t really tell.

I think my bump started to show a bit earlier this time, but it also may be just down to food. I seem to have a habit of doing shoots just after eating which doesn’t help.

I need to start eating better and exercising more again. I feel like over the last week I’ve let myself (and X) down a bit on that front. I’m trying my best…


Thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying my blog (and/or the work I make) please consider supporting me by ‘buying me a coffee’ on Ko-fi – thanks!

Categories
Oh Me, Oh Mãe

32 (October 2020)

Me holding B on my birthday
32 (October 2020)
 
#WellItIsMyFirstBirthdayAsAMother
#ThoughIWasPregnantOnMyLastBirthdayButIDidNotKnowItForAnotherWeek
#IGuessItDependsIfYouCountPregnancyAsMotherhoodOrNot
#TheBigNewsIsThatWeHaveGivenNoticeOnOurFlatAndPlanToMoveToBirminghamASAP
#WeWillMoveInWithMyNanSoWeCanCareForHerAndBWillGetSomeExtraAttention
#TwoYearsAgoIHadABirthdaySlashLeavingLondonParty
#ThisYearWouldBeABirthdaySlashLeavingLiverpoolParty
#ButWeWillBeLuckyIfWeGetToSayGoodbyeToManyPeopleBeforeWeGo
#TheLiverpoolRegionIsUnderTier3RestrictionsNowWhichIsTheOnlyAreaInTheUKToHaveSuchStrictRulesAtTheMoment
#ThisMeansWeCanNoLongerGoSwimmingThisWeekend
#IJustCancelledOurSlotAsTheCentreIsClosedNowAndWeGotCreditAddedToOurAccount
#SoOneDayIfWeAreAbleToVisitLiverpoolItLooksLikeWeWillBeDoingASwimSession
#MovingIsDefinitelyForTheBest
#ItWillBeSuchALongWinterOtherwiseAndAtLeastWeCanSeeMyNanAndPossiblyOtherFamilyFromADistance
#IWillMissOurDailyWalkHereButItIsStartingToGetVeryColdAndWindy
#OurFlatIsColdWithWindBlowingThroughThePlugSockets
#IDoNotGetHowSuchNewBuildingsCanBeSoBadlyDesigned
#WeDecidedToLeaveLondonAndWereGoneWithin6Weeks
#ThisTimeItWillBeWithin5WeeksThoughIThinkItWillBeALotQuicker
#TheWeekendAfterNextIfWeCan
#WeArePayingRentForAMonthButThereIsNoPointJustFeelingStuckHere
#AndAtLeastItGivesUsSomeTimeToCleanUpAndThings
#WeWillProbablyJustCelebrateMyBirthdayByOrderingALotOfIndianFood
#ThoughNowIAmTryingToEatUpAllTheRandomFoodWeHaveSoWeHaveLessToMove
#WithMyCodingCourseIAmWorkingOnMyProjectNow
#IAmGoingToTreatMyselfByNotDoingAnyCodingTodayThough
#IAmFeelingALotBetterMentallyThoughIThinkABigPartOfItIsBeingDistractedByTheMove
#IHaveNotHeardFromAHealthVisitorYetThoughIThinkIMightHaveMissedACallFromThemTheOtherDay
#IGuessAYearAgoIDidNotThinkIWouldBeSpendingMy32ndBirthdayLivingThroughAPandemicWithA4MonthOldWhilstDoingACodingCourseAndPlanningAMoveToBirmingham
#ButIGuessIWasNotThinkingMuchBeyondWantingToBePregnantAndNotBeingSureIfIWasAbleToBeOrNot

I’m not going to give the date of my birthday, though it’s probably easy to work out. I don’t know why – I’m weirdly security conscious about some things.

I just went to write what date I wrote this on, like I do for all of my blog posts; I am writing this on my birthday <with updates on 2nd November>.

<I always forget to write about the actual photo – it’s just me in my PJs holding my baby. I’m usually alone in my birthday portraits, but not this year!>

#WellItIsMyFirstBirthdayAsAMother

It feels odd writing that.

#ThoughIWasPregnantOnMyLastBirthdayButIDidNotKnowItForAnotherWeek

I had wanted to have a kid by the time I was 30, but I had to make do with being pregnant at 30. In the end it didn’t matter anyways and I’m glad B came when she did.

#IGuessItDependsIfYouCountPregnancyAsMotherhoodOrNot

<When I wrote this I don’t think I did, but pregnancy was so weird for me and I spent most of it in disbelief. I think I am just about getting used to the fact that I am a mother now.>

#TheBigNewsIsThatWeHaveGivenNoticeOnOurFlatAndPlanToMoveToBirminghamASAP

We gave notice the day after I wrote about considering it.

<And for the millionth time – we’ve moved already.>

#WeWillMoveInWithMyNanSoWeCanCareForHerAndBWillGetSomeExtraAttention

She broke her wrist in a fall recently and spent a week in hospital. It seems like the best thing to do for all of us – also who knows when we will actually be able to sit in her house again if we don’t go and live with her?

<It’s nice to know that she is okay and to see her everyday.>

#TwoYearsAgoIHadABirthdaySlashLeavingLondonParty #ThisYearWouldBeABirthdaySlashLeavingLiverpoolParty

I seem mostly move around this time of year.

Fact: I moved to London on Halloween 2010.

#ButWeWillBeLuckyIfWeGetToSayGoodbyeToManyPeopleBeforeWeGo

It’s so weird. I’ll miss people, but I’m not really supposed to see them at the moment anyways – meeting outdoors is ‘not recommended’.

#TheLiverpoolRegionIsUnderTier3RestrictionsNowWhichIsTheOnlyAreaInTheUKToHaveSuchStrictRulesAtTheMoment

I think most people in the UK know this, but I guess I am writing some of this for the future when hopefully all of this will be a distant memory.

<Well, they’re not alone in tier 3 anymore but England has another lockdown in a few days time.>

#ThisMeansWeCanNoLongerGoSwimmingThisWeekend #IJustCancelledOurSlotAsTheCentreIsClosedNowAndWeGotCreditAddedToOurAccount

Yeah the slot I called 40 times for!

<They called after a week and asked if we wanted to reschedule it, but we were moving that day.>

#SoOneDayIfWeAreAbleToVisitLiverpoolItLooksLikeWeWillBeDoingASwimSession

Great!

#MovingIsDefinitelyForTheBest #ItWillBeSuchALongWinterOtherwiseAndAtLeastWeCanSeeMyNanAndPossiblyOtherFamilyFromADistance

I am a little bit like ‘maybe I don’t want to move’, but I know give it another month and I will be super ready to go, so it’s better to go now.

I’ll mainly miss having space to make my work to be fair. I’ll just have to find a new way to work – and maybe not just have a white wall as a background all the time.

<We have barely unpacked anything and I am desperate to make some kind of studio space – well, we won’t be able to do much else during lockdown. I just have to be patient, as it’s slow work with a baby…>

#IWillMissOurDailyWalkHereButItIsStartingToGetVeryColdAndWindy

B won’t know the difference, and our walk is so exposed that it’ll be nice to not be nearly blown over a lot.

#OurFlatIsColdWithWindBlowingThroughThePlugSockets #IDoNotGetHowSuchNewBuildingsCanBeSoBadlyDesigned

The wind also blows through the gaps in the window, so I’ll be glad to not sleep in a freezing cold room. The radiators just blow the heat up the walls and barely heat the rooms. Fun times.

#WeDecidedToLeaveLondonAndWereGoneWithin6Weeks #ThisTimeItWillBeWithin5WeeksThoughIThinkItWillBeALotQuicker #TheWeekendAfterNextIfWeCan

So by the time I post this we should be in Birmingham.

<Yep, we are.>

#WeArePayingRentForAMonthButThereIsNoPointJustFeelingStuckHere

Yeah, there’s no point just being here waiting.

#AndAtLeastItGivesUsSomeTimeToCleanUpAndThings

We just got an email that said they want it ‘cleaned to a professional standard’. Well, when we left London we cleaned before the cleaners came in (which was something crazy like £100 that we paid when we moved in). We didn’t want the cleaners to think we were super sloppy, but we left a couple of things for them to clean and they didn’t do it – so I think we clean to a good standard.

#WeWillProbablyJustCelebrateMyBirthdayByOrderingALotOfIndianFood

Tiago has a work meeting after work, so we’ll be eating late but it’ll be nice.

This morning B woke up at 6, so I fed her, then B played with her and put her down for her nap so I pretty much got to sleep to 9am when I had to feed her again.

All I want for my birthday is sleep, sleep and sleep…

<She is waking up more at night at the moment, but we did have indian food which was very nice!>

#ThoughNowIAmTryingToEatUpAllTheRandomFoodWeHaveSoWeHaveLessToMove

You know when you just start eating random food that you haven’t wanted to eat?

#WithMyCodingCourseIAmWorkingOnMyProjectNow #IAmGoingToTreatMyselfByNotDoingAnyCodingTodayThough

I’ve been quite good at doing a bit every night. I feel like I am procrastinating a bit with it now as I know it is hard work, but I know I can do it. I just need to get on with it. I’ve set up the file system, I just need to do the rest of it now…

<I finished it in the end and I have a new course to start, but I’m leaving it for now.>

#IAmFeelingALotBetterMentallyThoughIThinkABigPartOfItIsBeingDistractedByTheMove

I wrote move as mood on accident. Whoops.

The move is definitely a massive distraction. Now I feel a bit overwhelmed but for different reasons…

#IHaveNotHeardFromAHealthVisitorYetThoughIThinkIMightHaveMissedACallFromThemTheOtherDay

They never left an answerphone message and haven’t called back since, so I’m not sure.

<They call a few days ago in the end, but now I am expecting a call from my new health visitor who needs to come visit us as we are new to the area.>

I’m not looking forward to having to register for things like the doctors, and changing all my postal addresses.

#IGuessAYearAgoIDidNotThinkIWouldBeSpendingMy32ndBirthdayLivingThroughAPandemicWithA4MonthOldWhilstDoingACodingCourseAndPlanningAMoveToBirmingham #ButIGuessIWasNotThinkingMuchBeyondWantingToBePregnantAndNotBeingSureIfIWasAbleToBeOrNot

What would I have imagined for myself? I would have hoped that I was pregnant or had a baby, but yeah I really thought that pregnancy and motherhood was something that happened to other people and not me.

But here we are!


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