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Pregnancy Waiting II

Portrait Of A Mother Of A Nineteen Month Old (37 Weeks / 14th January 2022)

Self-portrait where I am sitting down in a black bra and pants. I have my hands on my hand and my elbows are touching. My bump looks very round.
Portrait Of A Mother Of A Nineteen Month Old (37 Weeks / 14th January 2022)
 
#WellTheNightBeforeMyScanBWasAwakeFromOneToFive
#IHadFallenAsleepAroundElevenThirtySoItWasALongNight
#TiagoHadStayedUpLateWorkingAndHadANapDownstairsBeforeLeavingAtFourThirty
#JustBeforeTiagoLeftIMovedBToOurBedAndSheSeemedToFallAsleepButThenWouldSuddenlyWakeUpCrying
#SoAtFiveIMovedHerBackToHerBedAndSheSleptUntilEightWhenIWokeHerUp
#LuckilyMyMumWasComingRoundSoIHadALieDownInTheMorningThenSleptForAnHourWhenBDid
#IWasStressedAsIfIHadGoneIntoLabourIWouldHaveNotHadMuchEnergy
#TiagoWasSetToGetBackInTimeForTheAppointmentButThenThereWasACrashOnTheMotorway
#LuckilyMyMumHadHungAroundSoSheDroppedMeOffAndTookBToTheSupermarketWhileIWasInThere
#IWasWearingAWhiteClothMaskAndThePeopleAtTheDoorAskedMeToPutAStandardBlueMaskOn
#ICouldNotSeeAnyoneAtReceptionSoIWentToWhereIThoughtTheAppointmentWasAndPanickedThatIHadGoneToTheWrongPlaceWhenTheySaidIDidNotHaveOneThere
#LuckilyIJustHadToGoToADifferentDepartmentAndSatAloneInARoomFullOfCouples
#TheySaidTheyWereRunningLateButIGotCalledInAboutFourMinutesAfterMyAppointmentTime
#TheSonographerWasNiceAndAfterAQuickLookSheSaidThatBabyXWasHeadDownAndNotBackToBack
#IHadFeltLikeTheyHadBeenQuiteActiveSinceMyMidwifeAppointmentSoMaybeTheyDidTurnOrMaybeTheyWereNeverBreech
#AlreadyTheBabyHasBeenVeryActiveThatIAmWorriedThatTheyMayBeBackToBackOrSomething
#ThenSheDidMeasurementsAndSaidThatTheBabyIsEstimatedToBeIThinkSheSaid7Pounds6
#BWas6Pounds4WhenSheWasBornAndTheBabyHadBeenMeasuringBigger
#ShePlottedItOnMyGrowthChartAndSaidThatYouHaveToIgnoreTheTapeMeasureEstimatesButItLooksLikeTheBabyIsGrowing
#IHaveAnotherScanScheduledForTwoWeeksTimeIfTheBabyHasNotBeenBornYetSoSheWasObviouslyNotTooConcerned
#AsIHaveBeenSoScepticalAboutWhetherOrNotIAmActuallyHavingAGirlIAskedIfSheCouldCheck
#SheSaidItLooksLikeAGirlToHerButCanNotSayFor100PercentSureIGuessAsTheyHaveToCoverTheirBacks
#IThinkAtThisPointItWouldBeQuiteObviousIfItWasABoySoIShouldStopCallingHerIt
#WaitingForMyMumOutsideItWasABitSurrealWatchingLotsOfDadsArrivingWithCarSeatsOrCouplesLeavingTheHospitalWithBabies
#IKnowIAmHavingABabySoonButIStillFindItHardToGetMyHeadAroundIt
#IAmGettingALotMoreCrampsTheseDaysAndTheBabyCouldBeHereAnyDayNowReally
#INeedToJustGetAsMuchRestAsICanToMakeSureIFeelGoodForLabour
#ButIAlsoJustWantToDoAsMuchAsICanBeforeTheBabyComesAsIKnowThereWillBeLessTimeForMeForAWhile
#BIsGettingMoreIndependentNowSoItWillBeWeirdHavingASmallHumanWhoIsSoDependentOnMeAgain
#LikeIKeepSayingIJustNeedToSurrenderMyselfToMotherhoodAndDoMyBestForMyKids

#WellTheNightBeforeMyScanBWasAwakeFromOneToFive #IHadFallenAsleepAroundElevenThirtySoItWasALongNight

I definitely got frustrated, but had started reading a parenting book while waiting to see if she had fallen asleep, so tried to remain calm.

#TiagoHadStayedUpLateWorkingAndHadANapDownstairsBeforeLeavingAtFourThirty

I had stayed up late waiting for him, though I had said he should sleep downstairs if he wanted. I turned the light off and tried to sleep, but then he came upstairs to sort his clothes out.

#JustBeforeTiagoLeftIMovedBToOurBedAndSheSeemedToFallAsleepButThenWouldSuddenlyWakeUpCrying

I’d given her paracetamol, water, changed her nappy etc. I’m still not sure what the problem was.

I drifted in and out of sleep, while giving her some mimos (Portuguese for affection) – like rubbing her arm and drawing circles in her hand. I’d stop and she’d cry.

#SoAtFiveIMovedHerBackToHerBedAndSheSleptUntilEightWhenIWokeHerUp

I had had an alarm set for 7, which I turned off and woke up at 7.40.

#LuckilyMyMumWasComingRoundSoIHadALieDownInTheMorningThenSleptForAnHourWhenBDid

Tiago told me later he texted my Mum at 4 in the morning to say I hadn’t slept much and to tell me to have a lie down in case I didn’t ask. I tried to sleep, but found it hard. B looked tired all morning and I had to wake her up from her nap.

#IWasStressedAsIfIHadGoneIntoLabourIWouldHaveNotHadMuchEnergy

I guess my body would have woken me up more, but I want to be as rested as possible for the ‘event’.

#TiagoWasSetToGetBackInTimeForTheAppointmentButThenThereWasACrashOnTheMotorway

Typical.

#LuckilyMyMumHadHungAroundSoSheDroppedMeOffAndTookBToTheSupermarketWhileIWasInThere

I was surprised that she was hanging around, but it made for sense for her to do that then go home and potentially come back. She was getting ready to leave, but I said could she hang on for another half an hour just in case as by that point she would have had to turn around by the time she got home. Luckily she did. The roads were quite icy too and as he hadn’t slept much I didn’t want him to be rushing home.

#IWasWearingAWhiteClothMaskAndThePeopleAtTheDoorAskedMeToPutAStandardBlueMaskOn

Fair enough.

#ICouldNotSeeAnyoneAtReceptionSoIWentToWhereIThoughtTheAppointmentWasAndPanickedThatIHadGoneToTheWrongPlaceWhenTheySaidIDidNotHaveOneThere

The midwife did not tell me where it was, but she had given me a phone number so I searched online and saw it was at a hospital.

#LuckilyIJustHadToGoToADifferentDepartmentAndSatAloneInARoomFullOfCouples

Phew. I read an article about The Lost Girls of Covid.

#TheySaidTheyWereRunningLateButIGotCalledInAboutFourMinutesAfterMyAppointmentTime

So not late at all really.

#TheSonographerWasNiceAndAfterAQuickLookSheSaidThatBabyXWasHeadDownAndNotBackToBack

I was a bit too annoyingly chatty I think. I don’t get out much…

#IHadFeltLikeTheyHadBeenQuiteActiveSinceMyMidwifeAppointmentSoMaybeTheyDidTurnOrMaybeTheyWereNeverBreech

The sonographer commented on how active this baby is.

#AlreadyTheBabyHasBeenVeryActiveThatIAmWorriedThatTheyMayBeBackToBackOrSomething

We’ll just have to wait and see. The sonographer said as I’ve had a breech baby before I probably won’t need to argue my case so much, and that if I’ve had a breech baby before then I can handle a back to back baby. I just need to stay calm.

#ThenSheDidMeasurementsAndSaidThatTheBabyIsEstimatedToBeIThinkSheSaid7Pounds6 #BWas6Pounds4WhenSheWasBornAndTheBabyHadBeenMeasuringBigger

B was born before 38 weeks.

#ShePlottedItOnMyGrowthChartAndSaidThatYouHaveToIgnoreTheTapeMeasureEstimatesButItLooksLikeTheBabyIsGrowing

Hurrah. I wasn’t too worried as a lot of friends have told me they had growth scans and everything looked fine.

#IHaveAnotherScanScheduledForTwoWeeksTimeIfTheBabyHasNotBeenBornYetSoSheWasObviouslyNotTooConcerned

Yeah, it’s not like she was like I think this baby should come out ASAP. Cool.

#AsIHaveBeenSoScepticalAboutWhetherOrNotIAmActuallyHavingAGirlIAskedIfSheCouldCheck

She did the usual ‘it’s not always guaranteed that we can see’ etc and I said I know, but if you can then that’d be nice.

#SheSaidItLooksLikeAGirlToHerButCanNotSayFor100PercentSureIGuessAsTheyHaveToCoverTheirBacks #IThinkAtThisPointItWouldBeQuiteObviousIfItWasABoySoIShouldStopCallingHerIt

She did say it’s a girl while pointing her mouse to and naming the labia, so yeah I doubt it is a boy.

#WaitingForMyMumOutsideItWasABitSurrealWatchingLotsOfDadsArrivingWithCarSeatsOrCouplesLeavingTheHospitalWithBabies

It could be us any day now.

#IKnowIAmHavingABabySoonButIStillFindItHardToGetMyHeadAroundIt

It’s just weird. I’ve obviously gone through all of this once before, but still I find it bizarre.

#IAmGettingALotMoreCrampsTheseDaysAndTheBabyCouldBeHereAnyDayNowReally

B’s arrival really surprised me (in terms of I hadn’t noticed any warning signs), so I just read into anything and everything now.

#INeedToJustGetAsMuchRestAsICanToMakeSureIFeelGoodForLabour

I’m going to have a lie down before I do the shoot.

#ButIAlsoJustWantToDoAsMuchAsICanBeforeTheBabyComesAsIKnowThereWillBeLessTimeForMeForAWhile

I want to take more pictures in the style of my Máscara project.

#BIsGettingMoreIndependentNowSoItWillBeWeirdHavingASmallHumanWhoIsSoDependentOnMeAgain

I was saying to Tiago that maybe I am just saying this as I am pregnant, but if I was not pregnant would I want to be trying to get pregnant now with B being more independent? I got pregnant while she was still pretty dependent. I guess I would. I just want to get the baby phase over and done with.

#LikeIKeepSayingIJustNeedToSurrenderMyselfToMotherhoodAndDoMyBestForMyKids

B going to nursery is definitely going to make a big difference, and I’m lucky that we are in the position to send her.

37 weeks pregnant with B comparison:

(This is actually the last photo that I took of myself pregnant for the project.)

Full-length self-portrait. I am slightly silhouetted against white blinds. My right arm is raised above my head and my right hand is behind my head.
Time Is Running Out (37 and a half weeks)
 
#IWasDoingMyMorningExerciseWhenICaughtMyReflectionInTheKitchenSplashBackWall
#IThoughtItWouldBeNiceToDoAMoreSilhouettedPhotoOfMyselfAndBumpAgainstTheBlinds
#SoThatIsWhatIDidThisEvening
#YesterdayEveningWeWentForAWalk
#IDidNotHaveAnyPainsOrDiscomfortAndIFeltLikeICouldWalkFasterThanNormal
#IJustDidTheWashingUpNowAndIGotSomeExtremeCrampsInTheTopOfMyLeftLeg
#AndNowTheBabyHasHiccupsWhichAlwaysMakesMeFeelUncomfortable
#TheyDoNotHurtButIJustDoNotLikeTheFeelingOfThem
#EspeciallyAsTheBabyIsHeadDownSoItJustFeelsWeird
#ItWouldNotBeSoBadIfTheyWereAtTheTopOfTheBump
#AFewDaysAgoIDecidedThatIWouldLikeToTakeSomePicturesInTheStyleOfMyMáscaraProject
#IThoughtIHadTheMakeupHereButApparentlyIDoNot
#MyMumFoundMyBagOfItAsWeHaveStillHaveSomeStuffAtFamilyHousesAndPutItInThePostToday
#SoHopefullyIGetItInTheNextCoupleOfDays
#AsTimeIsRunningOut
#MyHospitalPantsTurnedUpToday
#TheySaidTheyHadBeenDeliveredYesterdaySoIWasABitConcernedAsTheyWereNotHere
#AtTimesIKindOfForgetAboutThePandemic
#AndThenIRememberWhatIsGoingOn
#ItIsAllABitWeird
#IFeelLikeWeHaveAdaptedWellButIKnowWeArePrivileged
#ALotOfPeopleSeemToBeGoingBackToNormal
#ButIAmScared
#MeAndTiagoHaveALittleBitOfACold
#ButTheWeatherKeepsChangingAndIWasIllQuiteALotAtTheStartOfThePregnancy
#IHaveNotReallyBeenIllAtAllSinceLockdown
#SoIThinkItIsJustUsFeelingALittleRundown
#LastNightISleptThroughUntil5AMWhichHasNotHappenedInALongTime
#MaybeDoingALotOfKegelsYesterdayHelped
#AsWellAsHavingAGoodStretchingSessionAndNotSleepingMuchTheNightBefore

I would have liked to have remade this photo, but this was when we lived in Liverpool, and we now live in Birmingham.

Maybe there were warning signs – like cramps in the top of my left leg. When I was having surges with B my legs would cramp up.

Last night the baby had hiccups and I was trying to work out if they were head down or not.

My sent my makeup to make Máscara like images. They arrived the day before B was born and luckily it was my day off and I took photos. I only liked a couple of images. I did a shoot the other day and they seem a lot better.

Last night we went to bed at 9. T fell asleep straight away, whereas I probably fell asleep half an hour later. I woke up quite a lot of times, but eventually got up at 6.30 as B was awake.


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