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Pregnancy Waiting II

Portrait Of A Mother Of A Fourteen Month Old (15 Weeks / 13th August 2021)

Self-portrait of myself yawning with my eyes partially closed due the yawning. I am resting the index finger of my left hand near my left eye.
Portrait Of A Mother Of A Fourteen Month Old (15 Weeks / 13th August 2021)
 
#IShouldBePackingButInsteadIAmProcrastinatingAndDoingAShootThatIWasNotGoingToDoToday
#ItMakesSenseToGetItDoneThoughAsIWantItToHaveTheSameLookAsOtherPortraitsOfAMotherOfEtc
#HopefullyTomorrowWeWillBeGoingAwayAndIWillHaveToDoWithoutMyLightingKitForNearly3Weeks
#IHadLookedAtGettingSomethingThatWouldSuitButIAmNotEarningMuchAtTheMomentSoItFeltQuiteFrivolous
#AnywaysYesterdayWeWentToBirminghamAirportToDoOurFitToFlyPCRTests
#WeWentForTheDriveThroughOptionWhichWasGoodAsBSleptTheWholeTimeEvenWhenALoudPlaneTookOff
#IWarnedTheWomanThatIAmJustGettingOverMyMorningSicknessButItWasFineAndLessUncomfortableThanWhenIDoAFlowTestMyself
#IJustStartedToWinceOnTheLastFewSecondsOfTheTenSecondsNostrilTwisting
#WeAreDueToGetOurResultsByTenTonightThoughTheySaidItMayTake48HoursFromTheTestWhichIsTomorrowMorning
#ByThatPointWeWillBePackedAndHeadingToLondonSoIReallyHopeTheTestsAreNegative
#IFeltALotMoreHappyAndRelaxedOnceTheTestsWereDoneAsThatWasABigStressToOrganiseAndAtThisPointThereIsNotMuchWeCanDoApartFromWaitForTheResults
#ThoughIFeltLessRelaxedOnceIRealisedThatWeWillBeTestedOnArrivalTooSoWeHaveToHopeWeDoNotPickItUpBetweenTests
#ItShouldBeFineExceptForYesterdayIChattedToALotOfPeopleInThePark
#ISawACoupleWhoWeSeeAllTheTimeAndChattedToThemForTheFirstTimeWhichWasNiceButTypicallyItIsJustAsWeAreGoingAway
#AndThenISpokeToAWomanWithADogWhoWeAlsoSeeAllTheTimeButHaveNeverSpokenMuchTo
#BWasAtFirstYellingOrFrustratedlyTalkingToHerDogAndThenSheWasYellingAtASquirrel
#IHaveNoticedThatSheTalksToAllAnimalsApartFromGeeseWhichIsFairEnoughAsTheyAreScary
#TheWomanCameByAndISaidThatBOnlyLikesToTalkToAnimalsAndThenWeSpokeForAges
#AndThenWeSawAnotherWomanWithADogWhoWeUsuallySeeAboutOnceAMonthNowButByThatPointBWasFedUpAndGotScaredByHerDogBarking
#BLikesToStareALotNowAndTheOtherDayATeenagerYelledAtHerSayingWhatAreYouStaringAt
#IThinkHimYellingJustMadeBStareMoreAndHisFriendSaidToHimWhatAreYouDoingWhichIsGood
#BWokeUpAt6ThisMorningThoughMeAndTiagoWereAwakeAtHerUsualTimeAndWorryingIfSheWasAliveAsSheWasSoQuiet
#IDoNotKnowWhySheSleptLateAsInTheParkSheWasEitherInTheSwingOrHerPushchairButMaybeTheBiryaniSheHadForDinnerFilledHerUpOrSheJustWasNotTeethingAt5ForOnce
#LastNightIWokeUpAndBoltedAcrossTheRoomAsInMyDreamBWasAboutToFallOffTheKitchenCounter
#BMakesMeLaughAsYesterdayNanWasPickingCrumbsUpOffTheFloorWhileBSatNextToHerPlayingWithTheVelcroOnNansShoes
#IHaveMyMidwifeAppointmentTodayAtLunchSoHopefullyThatWillAllGoOkay
#WeirdlyTheMidwifeAndIThoughtWeRecognisedEachOtherButIDoNotThinkWeHaveEverMetBefore
#SheWasAlsoLovelyAndIsAboutAWeekMorePregnantThanMeWhichIsCoolButAlsoAnnoyingAsIWantHerAsMyMidwife
#AtMyLastAppointmentTheySaidTheyMayOrMayNotListenForAHeartbeatAsItIsUsuallyTooEarly
#ButSheTriedAndItWasReassuringToHearItAndSheSaidIfIEverWantToCheckItToJustSendHerAMessage

#IShouldBePackingButInsteadIAmProcrastinatingAndDoingAShootThatIWasNotGoingToDoToday

I just realised that the reminders I write to myself were stacking up, and if I do this today then I can chill about doing work for a little bit.

#ItMakesSenseToGetItDoneThoughAsIWantItToHaveTheSameLookAsOtherPortraitsOfAMotherOfEtc

And this. I had debated just doing a shoot today then writing another day.

#HopefullyTomorrowWeWillBeGoingAwayAndIWillHaveToDoWithoutMyLightingKitForNearly3Weeks

I’m sure I’ll manage, it just ruins the look of the project a little bit but oh well. It might mix it up in a good way…

#IHadLookedAtGettingSomethingThatWouldSuitButIAmNotEarningMuchAtTheMomentSoItFeltQuiteFrivolous

And researching/reading reviews takes up so much time.

#AnywaysYesterdayWeWentToBirminghamAirportToDoOurFitToFlyPCRTests

We had looked at other options, but they’d sold out. I think I mentioned it in my last entry/post (I still don’t know what to call these).

#WeWentForTheDriveThroughOptionWhichWasGoodAsBSleptTheWholeTimeEvenWhenALoudPlaneTookOff

Having to park and go through a walk in felt like more hassle. Especially as we did not know what time B would wake up in the morning (5:15am for the record) and if we would disturb her napping (she fell asleep before we got to the airport).

She did briefly open her eyes just after we started to move again, she sleepily smiled at me then went back to sleep. When we got home she stayed in the car for an hour continuing to nap…

#IWarnedTheWomanThatIAmJustGettingOverMyMorningSicknessButItWasFineAndLessUncomfortableThanWhenIDoAFlowTestMyself #IJustStartedToWinceOnTheLastFewSecondsOfTheTenSecondsNostrilTwisting

I thought that I had better warn her in case I made some weird noises or something. She said she would go slow and I could take a break whenever I wanted but it was fine. I was glad that I got a woman, but it seemed like policy which was good (Tiago got a guy).

#WeAreDueToGetOurResultsByTenTonightThoughTheySaidItMayTake48HoursFromTheTestWhichIsTomorrowMorning #ByThatPointWeWillBePackedAndHeadingToLondonSoIReallyHopeTheTestsAreNegative

It is so stressful. I don’t see why people are bothering to go abroad to places where you need to test loads if you are just going for a week and not visiting family… I need to look at booking day 2 and day 8 tests for when I get back. Tiago only needs to do day 2, and B doesn’t need to do them. Phew.

#IFeltALotMoreHappyAndRelaxedOnceTheTestsWereDoneAsThatWasABigStressToOrganiseAndAtThisPointThereIsNotMuchWeCanDoApartFromWaitForTheResults #ThoughIFeltLessRelaxedOnceIRealisedThatWeWillBeTestedOnArrivalTooSoWeHaveToHopeWeDoNotPickItUpBetweenTests

It’d be bloody typical…

#ItShouldBeFineExceptForYesterdayIChattedToALotOfPeopleInThePark

Typically I often go to the park and hope to talk to people and I talk to no one. Yesterday was our chattiest day in a longgg time, if ever.

#ISawACoupleWhoWeSeeAllTheTimeAndChattedToThemForTheFirstTimeWhichWasNiceButTypicallyItIsJustAsWeAreGoingAway

I think I have mentioned them before (I hope it doesn’t get to the point where they might read this blog and find it awkward – hello if so).

Their kid is the same age as B and we have seen them around since we moved here. It was nice to finally chat. We always say we should say hello to them, but after a while it feels like too late to say hello. I took B to the swings though and they were next to us, so I felt like I should ‘go for it’. They’re so nice, and we chatted for ages. B was getting restless, so I thought I should take her home for dinner and a run around.

#AndThenISpokeToAWomanWithADogWhoWeAlsoSeeAllTheTimeButHaveNeverSpokenMuchTo

Once I was sat with B on a picnic blanket and the dog just came and sat next to her randomly. We spoke briefly then, but that was monthsss ago I think.

#BWasAtFirstYellingOrFrustratedlyTalkingToHerDogAndThenSheWasYellingAtASquirrel

I feel bad as I keep saying she is yelling, but she is probably just talking loudly and gets frustrated as they never come closer to her and/or talk back…

#IHaveNoticedThatSheTalksToAllAnimalsApartFromGeeseWhichIsFairEnoughAsTheyAreScary

At first I put evil instead of scary, but thought I might offend geese lovers. They just get quite defensive and hiss a lot. My parents used to have geese and once one bit my foot (luckily I was wearing steel toe capped boots, but still). I have been weary of them since…

#TheWomanCameByAndISaidThatBOnlyLikesToTalkToAnimalsAndThenWeSpokeForAges

She was smiling and I was in a good mood from talking to the couple. We spoke about lots of things from when she gave birth husbands were not allowed in the hospital at all, to anti-vaxxers. She’s also lovely.

#AndThenWeSawAnotherWomanWithADogWhoWeUsuallySeeAboutOnceAMonthNowButByThatPointBWasFedUpAndGotScaredByHerDogBarking

Last time we saw them it was early in the morning. We caught them this time as they came out early and we were late from chatting to so many people. I had to pick B up as she was scared by his barking. He’s a very friendly dog though.

#BLikesToStareALotNowAndTheOtherDayATeenagerYelledAtHerSayingWhatAreYouStaringAt

I was pushing B across the grass and she was sat on the standing board just chilling and looking at the world. I saw her looking at them and I looked briefly and smiled at them.

#IThinkHimYellingJustMadeBStareMoreAndHisFriendSaidToHimWhatAreYouDoingWhichIsGood

Maybe he was yelling at me, but I doubt it as B was having a good long look. So awkward. Glad his friend told him off as he was probably just showing off, but it did make me feel uncomfortable. I just didn’t look or say anything. Then a guy commented that B was staring a lot, but he was being friendly and was with his kids.

#BWokeUpAt6ThisMorningThoughMeAndTiagoWereAwakeAtHerUsualTimeAndWorryingIfSheWasAliveAsSheWasSoQuiet

Yesterday she was trying to get my Nan’s salt shaker off her tall table and I think it may have hit her on the head, so I was keeping an eye on her because of that.

#IDoNotKnowWhySheSleptLateAsInTheParkSheWasEitherInTheSwingOrHerPushchairButMaybeTheBiryaniSheHadForDinnerFilledHerUpOrSheJustWasNotTeethingAt5ForOnce

She wasn’t running around a lot, unless it was from all the listening? Maybe dinner was filling (she didn’t eat any yoghurt before bed like she usually does), or maybe it was down to teething. She never seems to stop teething, so maybe it did for a little bit and so she slept better. Who knows?

#LastNightIWokeUpAndBoltedAcrossTheRoomAsInMyDreamBWasAboutToFallOffTheKitchenCounter

Lol. There is no kitchen counter in our room. Tiago just said ‘are you alright?’ as my urgency woke him up. Classic.

#BMakesMeLaughAsYesterdayNanWasPickingCrumbsUpOffTheFloorWhileBSatNextToHerPlayingWithTheVelcroOnNansShoes

She is funny. She must like the sound. Today she realised she could make a sound on the cupboard with her fingers.

#IHaveMyMidwifeAppointmentTodayAtLunchSoHopefullyThatWillAllGoOkay

I have left myself four hashtags to write about it. Fun times.

#WeirdlyTheMidwifeAndIThoughtWeRecognisedEachOtherButIDoNotThinkWeHaveEverMetBefore

I was thinking I recognised her (even with her mask on) and then she said that she thought she had met me before. I’ve only had a couple of appointments though and they weren’t with her. I’ve recently moved GP surgery and it is better as I will have more of my appointments there rather than random centres, and I like her.

#SheWasAlsoLovelyAndIsAboutAWeekMorePregnantThanMeWhichIsCoolButAlsoAnnoyingAsIWantHerAsMyMidwife

Happy for her, but it’s typical. She said from her 30 weeks she might have to just work from home due to shielding, but she said we’ll see what the rules are. In Liverpool, my midwife was due to take sick leave but then she didn’t – but in the end she wasn’t my midwife as I didn’t have a homebirth. My midwife today said I could have a homebirth if I wanted, but I said it’s probably not very polite as we live at my Nan’s place.

#AtMyLastAppointmentTheySaidTheyMayOrMayNotListenForAHeartbeatAsItIsUsuallyTooEarly #ButSheTriedAndItWasReassuringToHearItAndSheSaidIfIEverWantToCheckItToJustSendHerAMessage

I know in Liverpool they were a bit weird about it. I guess it freaks people out if they don’t hear it, but the midwife today said that if it’s not good news then you wouldn’t hear much at all. The baby was hiding behind my placenta, but she could hear it moving and my placenta was being noisy. She kept trying to get a clearer sound for me, but I said as long as she was happy that all was good then it was fine with me.

Some reassuring news before our possible holiday. Fingers crossed.

15 weeks pregnant with B comparison:

Self-portrait wearing a black and white stripy dress. I am looking at the camera and have my left thumb touching my lips, and the rest of my fingers closing my left eye.
Maternity Clothes (15 and a half weeks)
 
#SoMyFirstMaternityClothesHaveArrived
#IDidNotWantToCurseThingsByBuyingThemTooEarly
#ButIDefinitelyNeededNewBras
#IAmTryingOutTheClipsThatYouUseSoYouCanFeed
#ItIsStartingToGetEasier
#ButIDoNotWantToPracticeTooMuch
#InCaseIBreakThatFunctionBeforeIActuallyNeedThem
#IHaveStartedToEditMyProjectDownNowSoIDoNotHaveToDoItLaterOn
#IHaveToPickMyFavouriteImageFromAllThePreviousShoots
#AndThenIMightTryDrawingOnThem
#ToHelpWithMyAnxietyAndWorries
#IDoDefinitelyHaveABumpNow
#ThoughIThinkDuringTheDayMostOfItIsDueToFood
#IHaveStartedToDoYogaOrPilatesOrStretchingInTheMorningAndEveningNow
#IHaveGotIntoAGoodHabitOfDoingItInTheMorning
#ButTheLastCoupleOfDaysIHaveBeenDoingItInTheEveningTooAsIFeelLikeINeedIt
#AndIAmStartingToGetPelvicPainNow
#AtLeastISeemToHaveMoreEnergyTheseDays
#IStillFeelABitSickButIAmNotBeingSick
#TheClosestIGetToBeingSickAtTheMomentIsWheneverIBrushMyTeeth
#IHaveTriedAllDifferentToothpastesButMyBodyHatesIt
#ITryToThinkOfDoughnutsAndUnicorns
#ApparentlyInWeek16TheBabyWillBeTheSizeOfADoughnut
#SoIMightGetOneToCelebrateAsIHaveBeenThinkingAboutThemForWeeks
#WheneverIAmSomewhereThatSellsThemINeverWantThemThough
#ApartFromMaybeThoseVansThatSellDinkieDoughnutsOrWhateverTheyAreCalledTheseDays
#AnywaysThisIsMyFirstMaternityDress
#IHateShoppingButISawItAndLikedItWhichIsRareSoIThoughtIShouldGetIt
#IAmBoredOfPregnancyAdsNow
#IWantToSeeOtherThings
#AFewYearsAgoWhenIUsedToGetPregnancyTestAdsOnYouTubeIWasSurprisedThatAGuyInMyImprovClassGotAdvertsForTomatoSoup

Well, coincidentally I have my left hand touching my face and one eye closed.

I have been wearing this dress since B was born, and I have been wearing it a lot lately. I haven’t bought any maternity clothes this time, but I have been given a maternity jumper.

I ended up not wearing the clip bras much, and ended up wearing the ones that you just move the bra with your hands. I’ve been wearing them lately anyways as they’re so comfy.

I never ended up drawing on the pictures, but I have got a lot quicker at editing. I usually edit the shoot on the day of the shoot or the day after now.

I feel like I haven’t had any pelvic pain yet with this pregnancy, but I have been doing pregnancy stretches in the morning and evening since getting a positive test this time which I think has helped.

I tried to distract myself more this time than think about doughnuts and unicorns when I feel sick – the thought of doughnuts is making me hungry. There are some jam doughnuts in the kitchen actually, but I’m not a fan.

I feel like I haven’t had too many pregnancy ads this time, but I am also making an effort to not accept all cookies on sites anymore. I could eat a cookie or five.


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