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Pregnancy Waiting II

Imitating B Wearing My Pants On Her Head (23 Weeks / 9th October 2021)

Self-portrait diptych. I am wearing a black dress with white stripes in both. In the left image I have pants on my head in a way that looks more like a hat. On the right a leg hole follows my nose and shows the left side of my face.
Imitating B Wearing My Pants On Her Head (23 Weeks / 9th October 2021)
 
#IHaveMentionedBeforeThatBLikesToPutThingsOnHerHeadAndOrAroundHerNeck
#AParticularFavouriteIsGettingMyPantsFromTheClothesLineAndPuttingThemOnHerHead
#ItIsFunnyButItAlsoScaresMeABitSoWeNeedToKeepAnEyeOnHerAtAllTimes
#IWishSheCouldSayWhySheLikesToDoItSoMuchButSheIsStillJustBabblingALot
#IFeelLikeIShouldTalkAboutHowIAmFeelingThisPregnancyAsIThinkThatIHaveNotReallySpokenAboutItMuch
#IHaveBeenHavingALotOfDaydreamsWhereSomethingBadHappensToBabyXEitherNowOrAtTheBirth
#OftenIDaydreamForQuiteALongTimeBeforeIRealiseWhatIAmDoingAndSnapMyselfOutOfIt
#SometimesIDoNotFeelTheBabyForQuiteAWhileButIKnowItIsProbablyBecauseIAmRunningAroundAfterB
#ThoughLastNightIThinkICouldFeelHerHiccuppingForAWhileSoThatWasARelief
#IDidNotFeelBMoveThatMuchReallyAndSheHiccuppedALotTooWhichWasAGoodIndicationThatSheWasOkay
#AtLeastBIsAGoodDistractionWhoMakesTimeFlyButIAmStillQuiteAnxiousWithThisPregnancy
#IMessagedMyMidwifeYesterdayAsIHadNotBeenOfferedTheWhoppingCoughVaccineAndSheSaidToCallMyDoctors
#SoIDidThatAndThatWillBeInAFewWeeksAndSheAlsoEmailedMeMyMaternityExemptionCertificate
#TheDoctorsSaidIJustNeedToAskForMyFluVaccineAtTheSameTimeButIDoNotWantToWaitThatLongForIt
#SoIBookedWithAPharmacyToGetThatDoneThisWeekAsIKnowPeopleMyAgeWhoHaveBeenGettingTheFluQuiteBadThisYear
#YesterdayAfterBreakfastIFeltLikeIWasGettingSomeAcidRefluxWhichIHaveNotHadMuchOfYetAndICanFeelItABitNowWhichIThinkMayBeCausedByOrangeJuice
#ReadingAdviceTheySayToEatSmallMealsButOnceIEatIGenerallyCanNotStopSoIThinkTheTimeHasComeToShowSomeRestraint
#MyBumpIsGettingQuiteBigNowAndIFindItHardToImagineHowMuchMoreItCanGrowBeforeTheBabyIsBorn
#SoItMakesSenseThatINeedToEatLittleAndOftenInsteadOfALotAndInfrequently
#LastNightIWasAwakeForAboutTwoHoursFromTwoInTheMorningWhichWasAnnoyingAsIHaveNotHadThatMuchInsomnia
#IWasJustReallyHotAndThirstyAndThenMyBrainWouldNotLetMeGoBackToSleepSoThatWasFun
#IWasMainlyThinkingAboutSendingBToNurseryAndForHowMuchTimeDuringTheWeek
#ItWouldNotBeYetButWeNeedToHaveALookAtThemAndCheckAvailability
#WeSeeAGirlAroundWhoIsTheSameAgeAsBAndTheyGetQuiteExcitedWhenTheySeeEachOther
#SheGoesToTheNurseryThatWeWereLookingAtSoItWouldBeNiceForThemToHangOutMoreAndItIsGoodToHaveARecommendation
#WeWouldProbablyStartOffSendingHerTwoMorningsAWeekInACoupleOfMonthsTimeSoICanHaveSomeTimeToSortOutThingsBeforeBabyXIsBorn
#IWouldRatherSheGoForTwoMorningsThanAFullDayAsAfterAWhileIWouldJustStartToFaff
#TiagoHasStartedToTalkToBumpABitMoreAndFeltSomeMovementLastNight
#HeMadeMeLaughWhenHeWasTellingTheBabyToWakeUpAndSaidWakeyWabyInsteadOfWakeyBaby
#BAlsoMakesMeLaughWithHerEnthusiasmForThingsLikeHerTryingOutTheRampOnHerClimbingFrameByRunningUpAndDownItFiftyTimesPlusLastNight

(Trigger warning: I talk about some of my anxiety during the pregnancy and unpleasant day dreams.)

#IHaveMentionedBeforeThatBLikesToPutThingsOnHerHeadAndOrAroundHerNeck

I think so anyways. The dry skin at the back of her neck has probably been caused by her love of it…

#AParticularFavouriteIsGettingMyPantsFromTheClothesLineAndPuttingThemOnHerHead

I love when she also carries three pairs of my pants around the house too.

#ItIsFunnyButItAlsoScaresMeABitSoWeNeedToKeepAnEyeOnHerAtAllTimes

You can see how kids can easily suffocate themselves on accident…

#IWishSheCouldSayWhySheLikesToDoItSoMuchButSheIsStillJustBabblingALot

It’s probably just because she found she can do it and it usually gets a reaction. Fair enough.

#IFeelLikeIShouldTalkAboutHowIAmFeelingThisPregnancyAsIThinkThatIHaveNotReallySpokenAboutItMuch

I generally plan to, but then end up talking about all the things that B has been up to.

#IHaveBeenHavingALotOfDaydreamsWhereSomethingBadHappensToBabyXEitherNowOrAtTheBirth

Basically, I end up without a second baby.

#OftenIDaydreamForQuiteALongTimeBeforeIRealiseWhatIAmDoingAndSnapMyselfOutOfIt

I imagine the events, the conversations, the feelings, the reactions etc. It’s deep.

#SometimesIDoNotFeelTheBabyForQuiteAWhileButIKnowItIsProbablyBecauseIAmRunningAroundAfterB

I can feel her (I find it weird that I know it’s a girl) moving about now as I am sat writing this, but sometimes I don’t. When B is awake my attention and focus is elsewhere.

#ThoughLastNightIThinkICouldFeelHerHiccuppingForAWhileSoThatWasARelief

I originally wrote them instead of her as I find it weird to say it’s a girl, I think as I didn’t know what B was until she came out.

#IDidNotFeelBMoveThatMuchReallyAndSheHiccuppedALotTooWhichWasAGoodIndicationThatSheWasOkay

Hiccups are reassuring. My Mum said before that my younger sister was the same.

#AtLeastBIsAGoodDistractionWhoMakesTimeFlyButIAmStillQuiteAnxiousWithThisPregnancy

I need to start reading about hypnobirthing again and start mentally preparing myself for the birth. I stretch in the morning and evening, and try to go for a walk or two a day with B so I feel quite strong at least. I just need to get strong mentally.

#IMessagedMyMidwifeYesterdayAsIHadNotBeenOfferedTheWhoppingCoughVaccineAndSheSaidToCallMyDoctors

With B I’m sure they said about booking it quite early on, or maybe I was just on the ball.

#SoIDidThatAndThatWillBeInAFewWeeksAndSheAlsoEmailedMeMyMaternityExemptionCertificate

I’m sure with B they told me to come in the same day, so I was surprised it was a bit of a wait. It’s good that the certificate is not a piece of paper this time – so much more convenient.

#TheDoctorsSaidIJustNeedToAskForMyFluVaccineAtTheSameTimeButIDoNotWantToWaitThatLongForIt

I’m more bothered about getting my flu vaccine now than the whooping cough.

#SoIBookedWithAPharmacyToGetThatDoneThisWeekAsIKnowPeopleMyAgeWhoHaveBeenGettingTheFluQuiteBadThisYear

My Nan got hers at the start of the week. I do not fancy catching the flu.

#YesterdayAfterBreakfastIFeltLikeIWasGettingSomeAcidRefluxWhichIHaveNotHadMuchOfYetAndICanFeelItABitNowWhichIThinkMayBeCausedByOrangeJuice

I’m still loving my hashbrowns and scrambled egg toasted sandwich with a small glass of orange juice.

#ReadingAdviceTheySayToEatSmallMealsButOnceIEatIGenerallyCanNotStopSoIThinkTheTimeHasComeToShowSomeRestraint

I won’t be hungry, but then I’ll just keep eating for ages once I start – especially at lunch.

#MyBumpIsGettingQuiteBigNowAndIFindItHardToImagineHowMuchMoreItCanGrowBeforeTheBabyIsBorn #SoItMakesSenseThatINeedToEatLittleAndOftenInsteadOfALotAndInfrequently

I feel like I am running out of space already.

#LastNightIWasAwakeForAboutTwoHoursFromTwoInTheMorningWhichWasAnnoyingAsIHaveNotHadThatMuchInsomnia

I mentioned it before but it seemed to be a one off, or two night event.

#IWasJustReallyHotAndThirstyAndThenMyBrainWouldNotLetMeGoBackToSleepSoThatWasFun

I thought my Nan had put the heating on, but she hadn’t. By the time I’d checked the thermostat, and gone to the loo I was wide awake.

#IWasMainlyThinkingAboutSendingBToNurseryAndForHowMuchTimeDuringTheWeek

It’s been taking over my brain space for the last 16 hours or so?

#ItWouldNotBeYetButWeNeedToHaveALookAtThemAndCheckAvailability

I’m keen for it to be after B drops down to one nap a day, which isn’t far away, and when baby X isn’t so far away.

#WeSeeAGirlAroundWhoIsTheSameAgeAsBAndTheyGetQuiteExcitedWhenTheySeeEachOther

We see her and her parents at the playground a lot. They’ll see each other from a distance and start smiling and flapping.

#SheGoesToTheNurseryThatWeWereLookingAtSoItWouldBeNiceForThemToHangOutMoreAndItIsGoodToHaveARecommendation

If it’s good enough for her, then it’s good enough for B. Great.

#WeWouldProbablyStartOffSendingHerTwoMorningsAWeekInACoupleOfMonthsTimeSoICanHaveSomeTimeToSortOutThingsBeforeBabyXIsBorn

And just have a bit of time to feel less tired?

#IWouldRatherSheGoForTwoMorningsThanAFullDayAsAfterAWhileIWouldJustStartToFaff

I do not know what I would do for a full day a week without having B around. I have work to do, but it’s more beneficial for it to be two mornings than a whole day. I’d get a lot more done. It’d also break the week up a bit.

#TiagoHasStartedToTalkToBumpABitMoreAndFeltSomeMovementLastNight

He feels the middle of my belly, but I said I feel more movements at the bottom and then he felt something.

#HeMadeMeLaughWhenHeWasTellingTheBabyToWakeUpAndSaidWakeyWabyInsteadOfWakeyBaby

Yeah, not that funny really but we had a good laugh.

#BAlsoMakesMeLaughWithHerEnthusiasmForThingsLikeHerTryingOutTheRampOnHerClimbingFrameByRunningUpAndDownItFiftyTimesPlusLastNight

I was hoping it would wear her out, but she was up just before 6. Zzz.

23 weeks pregnant with B comparison:

Self-portrait diptych. I am wearing a maternity bra and leggings in both. On the left my leggings are covering my bump, and on the right my bump is exposed.
I Am Not Sick, I Am Just Pregnant (23 and a half weeks)
 
#IWasFeelingStressedYesterday
#WorryingAboutTheBabysMovements
#EveryoneTellsMeNotToWorryButItIsEasierSaidThanDone
#IHaveNeverExperiencedPregnancyBeforeSoIDoNotKnowWhatIsNormal
#IWasOnTheFloorEarlierAndWasStrugglingToGetUp
#AndIWasLaughingToMyself
#IHadToGoOntoAllFoursSoThatICouldStandUp
#IKeepThinkingMyBodyIsTheSameAsItUsedToBe
#YesterdayIWasSayingToTiagoThatMaybeIDoNotEvenLookThatPregnant
#AndHeWasLikeYesYouDo
#IGuessLookingDownAtMyselfItSeemsFairlyNormalNowAsItGrowsABitDaily
#ButIGetMoreWeirdedOutWhenILookInTheMirror
#IDefinitelyLookedMorePregnantInMyDanceVideosToday
#ItIsWeirdLookingBackAtOlderPhotosThoughOfWhenIThoughtIStartedToLookPregnant
#AndIBarelyLookPregnantComparedToNow
#IAmAlsoFeelingAnnoyedAboutWorkAndOpportunities
#WhenIWasTryingToGetPregnantNothingReallyCameUp
#AndAsSoonAsIGotPregnantIStartedToGetApproachedForThings
#IFeelLikeIHaveBeenTurnedDownForThingsBecauseIAmPregnant
#ButInsteadOfThemHavingAConversationWithMeAboutWhatIFeelAbleToDo
#TheyChooseToShutItDownAndJustStartIgnoringMe
#MaybeItIsNotBecauseIAmPregnant
#ButEitherWayJustSaySorryWeDoNotWantToWorkWithYou
#ByThemNotSayingThatAndNotTalkingWithMe
#ItJustFeelsLikeItIsDiscriminationBecauseIAmPregnant
#ButByThemNotChoosingToTalkAboutItThenICanNotCallItDiscrimination
#IAmPostingThisProjectOnlineNowAndIThinkPeopleThinkIAmPostingItInRealTime
#IAmStillWorkingIAmStillMakingWorkIAmStillDancingIExerciseTwiceADay
#IAmNotSickIAmJustPregnant
#IKnowHavingAKidMeansIWillHaveToTurnDownCertainOpportunitiesButIAlsoFeelLikeMaybeIAmAlreadyOnADoNotHireListNow

Another unintentional pairing of comparison pictures – two diptychs. They also both talk about anxiety during pregnancy.

I decided to have another baby as soon as possible as I felt like it would be good to get the baby stage done and then hopefully in the not so distant future I can apply for bigger opportunities again. I also do think it will be good for them to be close in age.

I feel like since becoming a parent I have been approached for less opportunities, but maybe it’s because Covid is also a big part of life now and that also affects things?

I had to turn down one opportunity when I was pregnant with B as it was for international travel around the time B was due, but I guess it got cancelled due to Covid anyways.


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