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Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Crying Because She Smiled At Me (19th August 2020)

Me with a tear on my cheek in the bathroom because my daughter smiled at me
Crying Because She Smiled At Me (19th August 2020)
 
#IUsedToCryBecauseSheDidNotSmile
#NowICryBecauseSheDoesSmile
#IHaveCriedThreeTimesBetweenHerFirstSmilingAtMeThisMorningAndMeOpeningThisDocumentToWriteTheseHashtags
#ObviouslyTearsOfJoy
#WeAreAllSatOnTheBedAndBIsAtMySide
#IKeepLookingDownAtHerAndTryingToMakeHerSmile
#MyNewFavouriteThingsIsJustSayingAEIOUAtHerAndOnUIPutMyFingerOnHerNose
#IReadThatBabiesLikeToLookAtYourMouth
#MyFavouriteSoundOfHersIsWhenSheCoos
#AndTheShapeThatHerMouthMovesIntoToMakeItIsSoCute
#IAlsoJustOpenMyMouthWideAndMakeAShortLaughingSoundWhichSheSeemsToLike
#SheLikesToGrabOnToThingsNow
#WeHaveALotOfMuslinsAndWeUseOneWithHerCarseatAndTheOtherDaySheWasHoldingItAllTheWayToTheCar
#AndSheIsFallingAsleepNowWithOneInHerHand
#MaybeItIsTimeToGiveHerTheComfortBlanketWeHaveForHer
#SheJustWokeUpAndMadeALittleSoundSoILookedOverAtHerAndMadeMyMouthBigAndSheSmiled
#IFeelLikeWhenSheIsInASmileyMoodICanSayAnythingAndSheWillSmile
#IMostlyCallHerAPoopMachineAndSayPoopInAHighPitchedWay
#SheAlsoPutsHerHandOnMyChestMoreWhenIFeedHer
#AllMyRecentPhonePhotosHaveJustBeenWhenIAmFeedingHerAndWhereShePutsHerHands
#IThinkYesterdayWasTheFirstTimeThatIDidNotHandExpressOrPump
#IFedHerOnAParkBenchYesterdayWhenWeMetNCTFriends
#AndTheDayBeforeIBreastfedHerAtATableOutsideOfARestaurant
#IReadAboutAnActivityToDoPaintingWithHer
#YouPutAPieceOfPaperWithBigDollopsOfPaintOnItInsideASeeThroughPlasticWalletAndTapeItToTheFloor
#ThenDragHerHandsAcrossItOrSeeIfSheInteractsWithItDuringTummyTime
#PerhapsSheIsTooYoungButWeMightTryItToday
#YesterdayIDidDanceVideosWithoutBAndAsMuchAsILoveHavingHerWithMeWhenIDoThemIThinkIDanceBetterAlone
#WhenSheIsOnMeMyMovementsAreLimitedAndIDoTheSameMobesButWithoutHerItIsMoreOfAWorkout
#SheJustWokeHerselfUpByCryingInHerSleepAndNowIAmCryingBecauseHerFrownBrokeMyHeart
 

It’s not the world’s best picture, but I only took a few. One was blah, one showed me licking the tear with my tongue (possibly interesting but odd) or this one which actually shows the tear but is a bit blurry. I guess the blurriness shows my hurried state these days – taking a few quick pictures in the bathroom then running back to my baby.

#IUsedToCryBecauseSheDidNotSmile
#NowICryBecauseSheDoesSmile
#IHaveCriedThreeTimesBetweenHerFirstSmilingAtMeThisMorningAndMeOpeningThisDocumentToWriteTheseHashtags
#ObviouslyTearsOfJoy

It’s such an amazing feeling to see her smiling at me; I’m getting emotional just writing this.

I wrote a post about my image/hashtags called My Baby Is A Brick Wall (14th July 2020), which talks about that I think I’ll find motherhood easier/better when B smiles and it is definitely true. Before it was hard when she didn’t show me any positive emotion, but obviously now that she does it makes me cry too – though in a good way.

Today B had some more injections and the person administering them (I never know the job titles of medical professionals) said it’s a shame that she never gets any babies smiling at her now because she has to wear a mask. I don’t think B just gets confused when I wear one, but it is true that she smiles less as me smiling at her usually triggers her to smile.

#WeAreAllSatOnTheBedAndBIsAtMySide
#IKeepLookingDownAtHerAndTryingToMakeHerSmile
#MyNewFavouriteThingsIsJustSayingAEIOUAtHerAndOnUIPutMyFingerOnHerNose
#IReadThatBabiesLikeToLookAtYourMouth

I have a hand movement for each vowel now. I’ll have to make a video of it and put it on my Instagram at some point, but without B as I don’t show her face. (Maybe I’ll get T to pretend to be B.)

I read that they like Old Macdonald Had A Farm, because of the vowel bit in the song. I sing it to her quite a bit, but also just say vowels at her… He has a lot of cows, because moo is a good mouth shape for her to copy. He also has a few cats and then whatever other animals I can think of.

#MyFavouriteSoundOfHersIsWhenSheCoos
#AndTheShapeThatHerMouthMovesIntoToMakeItIsSoCute

IT IS SO ADORABLE. I’m kind of annoyed at myself for choosing not to show her face as I just want to show the world how cute she is (and strong, and intelligent and smart etc.), but I also know that I should protect her privacy a bit.

(I feel like me saying I should protect her privacy makes me sound like I think I’m some ‘big shot’ or something. I don’t…)

#IAlsoJustOpenMyMouthWideAndMakeAShortLaughingSoundWhichSheSeemsToLike

It’s funny how quickly these things become a thing of the past. I don’t do this anymore… It’s a good job I record the songs that I make up for her as I often record them and then don’t sing them anymore.

#SheLikesToGrabOnToThingsNow
#WeHaveALotOfMuslinsAndWeUseOneWithHerCarseatAndTheOtherDaySheWasHoldingItAllTheWayToTheCar
#AndSheIsFallingAsleepNowWithOneInHerHand
#MaybeItIsTimeToGiveHerTheComfortBlanketWeHaveForHer

It’s nice to see her strength and awareness developing. I still need to get the comforter out of her toy bag for her…

#SheJustWokeUpAndMadeALittleSoundSoILookedOverAtHerAndMadeMyMouthBigAndSheSmiled
#IFeelLikeWhenSheIsInASmileyMoodICanSayAnythingAndSheWillSmile
#IMostlyCallHerAPoopMachineAndSayPoopInAHighPitchedWay

I also haven’t called her a poop machine much since I wrote the hashtags…

#SheAlsoPutsHerHandOnMyChestMoreWhenIFeedHer
#AllMyRecentPhonePhotosHaveJustBeenWhenIAmFeedingHerAndWhereShePutsHerHands

I’ve also started to take less pictures of feeding her, because of how her hands are. The other day she was putting her hands down my top whilst I fed her? She doesn’t know what she is doing, but it is funny.

#IThinkYesterdayWasTheFirstTimeThatIDidNotHandExpressOrPump

There were a couple of days where I didn’t, but I’m trying to do it once a day now. Mainly because it’s easier to give her her vitamin D in a bottle of milk, but also because I hope it helps keep my milk production up.

I realise that since I stopped pumping so much, when I do I don’t produce so much but I guess it’s more of a supply and demand now, whereas before I was probably over-producing.

(I’m trying to pump once a day now. Yesterday it took me a while to get 60ml from one boob and then I spilled 40ml of it over the bed – great.)

#IFedHerOnAParkBenchYesterdayWhenWeMetNCTFriends
#AndTheDayBeforeIBreastfedHerAtATableOutsideOfARestaurant

I talked about this already in a previous post or five.

#IReadAboutAnActivityToDoPaintingWithHer
#YouPutAPieceOfPaperWithBigDollopsOfPaintOnItInsideASeeThroughPlasticWalletAndTapeItToTheFloor
#ThenDragHerHandsAcrossItOrSeeIfSheInteractsWithItDuringTummyTime
#PerhapsSheIsTooYoungButWeMightTryItToday

Well I ended up doing a week or so later. I used too much paint and she really wasn’t in the mood for tummy time – which is unusual for her. Or perhaps she wasn’t in the mood for me to drag her hands, make her walk on it or sit on it…

B's first painting
I probably should have taken a picture of it now that it’s dry and not in the bag.

#YesterdayIDidDanceVideosWithoutBAndAsMuchAsILoveHavingHerWithMeWhenIDoThemIThinkIDanceBetterAlone
#WhenSheIsOnMeMyMovementsAreLimitedAndIDoTheSameMobesButWithoutHerItIsMoreOfAWorkout

I still want to dance with her occasionally, but it’s nice to have a bit of a workout.

One of the videos:

I broke a button off my dress (right video) and I’ve just realised how I shouldn’t dance in it until it is fixed. Maybe this is why I get annoying comments from men…


#SheJustWokeHerselfUpByCryingInHerSleepAndNowIAmCryingBecauseHerFrownBrokeMyHeart

She seems to be waking herself up my crying in her sleep a bit more lately. I think she does has bad dreams. It’s kind of cute when she does it, but I feel bad as I can’t stop her having bad dreams. I said it in my last post, but what do babies dream about?


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