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Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Imitating B Sucking Her Thumb (9th May 2021)

Imitating B Sucking Her Thumb (9th May 2021)
 
#WellMaybeSheIsSuckingHerThumbOrMaybeSheIsJustTeething
#TheTeethingSeemsLikeItWillNeverEndAndSheStillOnlyHasOneTooth
#IHaveJustNoticedHerSuckingHerThumbAndFlappingHerHandAroundInTheLastWeek
#SheHasBeenWakingUpBefore6LatelySoWeNeedToSeeWhatWeCanDoToPushHerWakeupTimeBack
#IJustSeemSuperTiredAtTheMomentAndMyTeethAreStillHurtingALot
#IbruprofenSeemsToTakeTheEdgeOffOfItButIThinkOneOfMyTeethNeedsToComeOut
#TiagoSaidIfIGetItOutThenEventuallyTheNextOneWillNeedToComeOutAndSoOnAndHowWillIEatWithNoTeeth
#IPointedOutThatBHasBeenDoingPrettyWellWithHerGumsForALongTime
#ItRainedAllDayYesterdayButIDidNotCareSoMuchAsItIsTheWeekend
#WeStillWentOutForAWalkAnywaysAndItWasQuiteNice
#PortugalIsCurrentlyOnTheGreenTravelListSoWeAreLookingAtBookingATrip
#ICanNotBelieveThatBIsNearlyAYearOldAndSheHasNotMetHerPortugueseGrandparentsYet
#WeJustHaveToHopeThatThingsDoNotGetWorseAndThatWeWillNotHaveToQuarantineInAHotel
#TheTripIsFaffyEnoughAsItIsLetAloneWithTravellingWithABabyWithCovidRestrictions
#ItIsAMinimumOfTwoFlightsToGetToHisHomeIslandSoItIsLookingForTripsThatDoNotHaveMegaLayovers
#MostOfTheFlightsAreEitherSuperEarlyInTheMorningOrTheyArriveBackLateAtNight
#WhichWouldNotBeSoBadIfTheyWereFromBirminghamButWeWillHaveToTravelToManchesterOrLondon
#AndItProbablyWillBeLondonAsTheyHaveFlightsThatLeaveAndArriveAtOkayishTimes
#IAmAlreadyFeelingStressedAboutHavingToGetToAndFromTheAirports
#PlusSortingOutTestingAndDealingWithDifferentAirlinesAndLuggage
#IShouldNotComplainAsIKnowWeAreLuckyToBeAbleToGoAway
#IfItWasNotForSeeingHisFamilyAndGoingToAWeddingAndHavingToSortOutThingsThereWeWouldJustLeaveItThough
#OrIGuessWeWouldHaveMaybeTriedALocationThatWasALotEasierToGetTo
#WeAlsoNeedToSortOutCotsAndCarSeatsAndHighchairsAndThingsSoThatIsMoreFunToLookAt
#IJustWantToSwimInTheSeaAndHaveAChangeOfScenery
#IDidNotBotherGoingToMyParentsHouseTheOtherDayAsICouldNotBeBotheredToPackUpAllOfBsThings
#ByTheTimeIHadFinishingVentingInMyPostAndBlogIFeltMuchBetter
#MyMumSaysSheIsSurprisedThatWeAllHaveNotArguedALotMoreThanWeHave
#ItIsNiceSeeingMyNanEveryDayAndIFeelGuiltyThatWeAreGoingAwayButItWillBeGoodForUsAll
#IJustHopeThatWeWillNotHaveToCancelOurTripAfterAllOfThisPlanningButLetsSee

#WellMaybeSheIsSuckingHerThumbOrMaybeSheIsJustTeething

I do not know for sure.

#TheTeethingSeemsLikeItWillNeverEndAndSheStillOnlyHasOneTooth

At this rate, this is going to go on for yearssss, then she will start losing baby teeth… Remembering the days of making my a loose tooth move with my tongue, and then feeling the empty space. Fun times.

#IHaveJustNoticedHerSuckingHerThumbAndFlappingHerHandAroundInTheLastWeek

I was going to write in these hashtags about being a fan of sucking my thumb until I was probably way too old for it, but I forgot. Well, now you know – all two of you who read this.

#SheHasBeenWakingUpBefore6LatelySoWeNeedToSeeWhatWeCanDoToPushHerWakeupTimeBack

We are not morning people B. I was reading a twitter thread the other day and someone’s advice for future parents was to meet someone who is the opposite to you – a night owl if you’re an early bird and vice versa. Tiago is better than me in the mornings, and I am more of an evening person, but we still like to sleep.

#IJustSeemSuperTiredAtTheMomentAndMyTeethAreStillHurtingALot

I could just lie in bed all day. Today I got up at 6.20am though, and did some cooking. Now B’s gone to bed I just want to get stuff done so I can have a little lie down, if she does not wake up before then.

#IbruprofenSeemsToTakeTheEdgeOffOfItButIThinkOneOfMyTeethNeedsToComeOut

I have an appointment at the dentist this week, though it’s just for a clean. My dentist said to have them cleaned and see if that helps with any pain. I’m guessing it won’t, but I’ll mention the pain to them when I’m there. It’s probably too late to get my tooth removed on my maternity exemption as that is due to expire in a month.

#TiagoSaidIfIGetItOutThenEventuallyTheNextOneWillNeedToComeOutAndSoOnAndHowWillIEatWithNoTeeth

I think four different teeth have been playing up this week, but the back one really has been and I know that one has a really deep filling. My dentist said it is protecting the next tooth along though, so once it goes that one will be at risk and so on.

#IPointedOutThatBHasBeenDoingPrettyWellWithHerGumsForALongTime

She’s my inspiration.

#ItRainedAllDayYesterdayButIDidNotCareSoMuchAsItIsTheWeekend

I feel less stuck at home when Tiago is looking after B a bit and I can do other things.

#WeStillWentOutForAWalkAnywaysAndItWasQuiteNice

The air was fresh and the paths were pretty empty. We did see a few border collies though…

#PortugalIsCurrentlyOnTheGreenTravelListSoWeAreLookingAtBookingATrip

Everyone has been messaging me to say have I seen it. Now we need to try to book a trip before everyone else does.

#ICanNotBelieveThatBIsNearlyAYearOldAndSheHasNotMetHerPortugueseGrandparentsYet

I wonder if she will recognise them from all the video calls. I know she will be a bit weird with them at first though.

#WeJustHaveToHopeThatThingsDoNotGetWorseAndThatWeWillNotHaveToQuarantineInAHotel

For the price of quarantining in a hotel we could just do the most epic UK trip instead. Fingers crossed that we don’t have to.

(21st June: Portugal is currently on the amber list. If it goes to red then we will cancel our trip – when I wrote this I didn’t realise how expensive hotel quarantines are.)

#TheTripIsFaffyEnoughAsItIsLetAloneWithTravellingWithABabyWithCovidRestrictions

I didn’t look forward to the travelling pre-baby.

#ItIsAMinimumOfTwoFlightsToGetToHisHomeIslandSoItIsLookingForTripsThatDoNotHaveMegaLayovers

I’m usually the one who organises our trips and does the research and at the moment I feel like a full-time travel agent.

#MostOfTheFlightsAreEitherSuperEarlyInTheMorningOrTheyArriveBackLateAtNight

Great with a baby. We once ‘slept’ on the floor at Heathrow to avoid paying for a hotel when we had a 6am flight (I didn’t sleep). B would be fine in her pushchair to be fair, but it’d be a longggg day.

#WhichWouldNotBeSoBadIfTheyWereFromBirminghamButWeWillHaveToTravelToManchesterOrLondon

Great.

#AndItProbablyWillBeLondonAsTheyHaveFlightsThatLeaveAndArriveAtOkayishTimes

It’s a ridiculous amount of money to put our car in the car park (let me know if you have any hints/tips) and we will have to fly in and out of different London airports by the look of it.

(21st June: Yeah we’re flying in and out of different airports.)

#IAmAlreadyFeelingStressedAboutHavingToGetToAndFromTheAirports

We are probably just going to have to get a super early train to London, so that we are not stressed about missing our flight. That’s not too bad as we are usually up early anyways (typically that would be the day that B would sleep in).

#PlusSortingOutTestingAndDealingWithDifferentAirlinesAndLuggage

And trying not to catch Covid in the run up to the holiday – though we’ve done well so far, but knowing our luck…

#IShouldNotComplainAsIKnowWeAreLuckyToBeAbleToGoAway

I’m sure a lot of people reading this will just be like ‘really you’re whining about all this?’ I think this is probably the opinion about most of my project though.

#IfItWasNotForSeeingHisFamilyAndGoingToAWeddingAndHavingToSortOutThingsThereWeWouldJustLeaveItThough

It’ll be nice when we’re there, but it is stress that we could do without. My tooth suddenly just started hurting again really bad, maybe it’s stress related?

#OrIGuessWeWouldHaveMaybeTriedALocationThatWasALotEasierToGetTo

Well someone that only needed one flight from Birmingham would be a lot better, but in reality I think we would just visit a lot of people in the UK instead.

#WeAlsoNeedToSortOutCotsAndCarSeatsAndHighchairsAndThingsSoThatIsMoreFunToLookAt

Travel highchair? Travel cot? Rent a car seat? Might just have to see if we can borrow these things from someone.

#IJustWantToSwimInTheSeaAndHaveAChangeOfScenery

It would be amazing. It will be amazing. Fingers crossed.

#IDidNotBotherGoingToMyParentsHouseTheOtherDayAsICouldNotBeBotheredToPackUpAllOfBsThings

Lol. You can see why I am struggling with the idea of packing for a holiday.

#ByTheTimeIHadFinishingVentingInMyPostAndBlogIFeltMuchBetter

And then felt super awkward. Classic me.

#MyMumSaysSheIsSurprisedThatWeAllHaveNotArguedALotMoreThanWeHave

For the record Tiago and my Nan never argue. Tiago is super patient with her and I need to be more like Tiago.

#ItIsNiceSeeingMyNanEveryDayAndIFeelGuiltyThatWeAreGoingAwayButItWillBeGoodForUsAll

We haven’t had time to ourselves since October. We will hopefully have a few days to ourselves as a family before going to stay with Tiago’s family.

#IJustHopeThatWeWillNotHaveToCancelOurTripAfterAllOfThisPlanningButLetsSee

It is what it is. We have to take the risk as it’s easier for us to go and see Tiago’s parents than for them to come here, and we have one of Tiago’s best friend’s wedding to go to. I hope it all works out.


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Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Hire Us For Your Denim Advert (6th May 2021)

Me holding B. We're both wearing denim and her back is to the camera. It's quite close up and framed from my eye bags down.
Hire Us For Your Denim Advert (6th May 2021)
 
#ThisWeekIsMaternalMentalHealthAwarenessWeek
#ItFeelsSomewhatFittingAsIWasSupposedToDoAllThisYesterdayButIFeltTooCrapTo
#IHadANapWhenBHadHerFirstNapAndIFeltMuchBetterButTheRestOfTheDayWasStillASlog
#ThisProjectIsSupposedToBeAllAboutHonestyAndStuffButIFeelLikeIDoLeaveQuiteABitOut
#IThinkFromReadingMyProjectThoughItIsSomewhatClearThatIHaveBeenStruggling
#ItGoesUpAndDownAndSometimesIFeelFineAndThenIJustReallyRubbishAgain
#IHaveBeenFindingItHardToGetOutOfBedEvenIfISleepFairlyWell
#IThinkIHaveDippedAgainBecauseTheWeatherHasBeenSoCrummyAgainLately
#ItJustRainsEveryDayAndIFeelStuckInsideButMoreThingsReopenIn11DaysSoIHopeThatWillMakeABigDifference
#IFeelLikeICanNotCompletelyRelaxInTheLivingRoomAtMyNansHouseWhichIsMoreToDoWithMeThanHer
#AgainWithTheWeatherBeingRubbishItMeansOurOptionsAreLimitedWithWhereWeCanGo
#AsBHasBlackoutBlindsTapedToHerWindowIDoNotLikeToTakeHerInThereMuchAsItIsSoDark
#SoThisMorningIBroughtHerToOurBedroomWhichIHadToChildproofABitMoreForHer
#IWasWorriedThatSheWasColdAndIDidNotWantToGoDownstairsToGetHerUsualIndoorJacket
#SoIPutHerInHerDenimJacketThatSheHadNotWornBeforeAndIHadBroughtUpstairsAnHourBefore
#ThenIRememberedThatTiagoHasADenimJacketSoIThoughtIWouldWearItAndWeCouldDoAShootToPassTheTimeUntilBreakfast
#IAmNotSureWhichPictureIWillChooseYetButBWasQuiteFedUpAndIWasFeelingDownSoIfItLooksAllHappyFamilyThenThatMightNotBeTheReality
#HireUsForYourDenimAdvert
#MyMumIsHereNowSoIThinkWeWillGoHomeWithHerJustToGetAChangeOfScenery
#BWasIllAndShePassedItOntoMeAndNowAllMyTeethHurtWhichIHopeIsJustRelatedToFeelingRundown
#ItIsPainfulAndParacetamolDoesNotSeemToTouchItWhichDoesNotMakeMeFeelMuchBetter
#BeingIllWhenYouDoNotHaveAKidIsTotallyDifferentToBeingIllWithAKid
#LuckilyItWasABankHolidayWeekendSoTiagoWasAroundToHelpForAnExtraDayButICouldHaveJustDoneWithLyingInBedForAFewDaysButSillyMeFeelsGuiltyAboutSuchThingsNow
#YesterdayWeDidAVideoCallInTheKitchenAndIPutBsWalkerThereToSeeIfSheWouldUseIt
#BeforeIHadEvenStartedTheCallSheStoodUpAndStartedToPushItWhichWasAHugeSurprise
#ITriedToGetHerToShowTiagoLaterButIThinkSheWasABitTiredAndDidNotDoItSoWell
#SomeGoodNewsIsHeHadAnInterviewForHisBritishPassportAndThatWasFineSoFingersCrossedThatWillBeSortedSoon
#WeAreDefinitelyInNeedOfSomeTimeAwaySomewhereAndWeHopeWeCanSeeHisFamilyThisSummer
#IDoWonderHowIWouldHaveBeenIfIHadHadABabyInNonCovidTimesButIGuessIWouldStillBeStrugglingInSomeWay
#IAmJustPissedOffThatItHasBeenATotalPostcodeLotteryWithWhatHasBeenOpenInDifferentAreasOverTheLastFewMonthsAndWithWhatSupportYouGet

#ThisWeekIsMaternalMentalHealthAwarenessWeek

As always I will be posting this much later, so it will no longer be Maternal Mental Health Awareness Week.

#ItFeelsSomewhatFittingAsIWasSupposedToDoAllThisYesterdayButIFeltTooCrapTo

I got an email from Happity yesterday about their #shoutieselfie and I debated doing it, but yeah I felt too rubbish to. This post is somewhat negative but yesterdays would have been REALLY negative.

#IHadANapWhenBHadHerFirstNapAndIFeltMuchBetterButTheRestOfTheDayWasStillASlog

I sleep fairly well at night (though B had been awake for about an hour between 12.30 and 1.30), so I shouldn’t have needed that nap but apparently I did.

#ThisProjectIsSupposedToBeAllAboutHonestyAndStuffButIFeelLikeIDoLeaveQuiteABitOut

I’m aware of how negative and whiny it is all the time, and I feel awful about it. I know how lucky I am to have B and I do love her a lot, I am just feeling a bit stuck.

#IThinkFromReadingMyProjectThoughItIsSomewhatClearThatIHaveBeenStruggling

I feel like I don’t really need to talk about the really dark times that I sometimes have, and we do not need to see anymore photos of me crying.

#ItGoesUpAndDownAndSometimesIFeelFineAndThenIJustReallyRubbishAgain

It’s the circle of mental health.

#IHaveBeenFindingItHardToGetOutOfBedEvenIfISleepFairlyWell

Last night I went to bed earlier than normal. I probably fell asleep around 10.30pm and Tiago got up at 5.30ish, then B woke up at 6.20. Tiago had to go to work not long after, so I wasn’t in a great mood.

#IThinkIHaveDippedAgainBecauseTheWeatherHasBeenSoCrummyAgainLately

It just rains and rains. I took her to the swings briefly the other day and chatting to the Mum next to us she said we’d had all the weather today except for snow. I said it did hail the other day and two minutes later it was hailing…

#ItJustRainsEveryDayAndIFeelStuckInsideButMoreThingsReopenIn11DaysSoIHopeThatWillMakeABigDifference

The other week we were meeting up with a couple of Mums. This week we’ve just seen people in class, and it’s a new term at one of our classes next week and our friends are off to nursery so it’s time to make new friends. Great.

#IFeelLikeICanNotCompletelyRelaxInTheLivingRoomAtMyNansHouseWhichIsMoreToDoWithMeThanHer

We’re very grateful to my Nan for letting us live with her, but it is hard at times, and like I’ve said that’s more to do with me. This morning I was just not in the mood to chat as it was pre-7am and if I was my Nan I would have still been asleep in bed. I’ve said before that I do not like sitting in front of the TV all day. I can not remember the last time that I sat in the living room after B has gone to bed – I just like to have some time to myself.

(14th June: I feel so awkward about saying all that, but it was how I felt. I’m just not a morning person at all – she says after getting up at 5.40 this morning. We look at moving out from time to time, but there isn’t much on the renting market nearby. At the moment the weather is good, so we go out more and we open the window in her room (see two hashtags below) and play in there.)

#AgainWithTheWeatherBeingRubbishItMeansOurOptionsAreLimitedWithWhereWeCanGo

Again, as soon as the weather is better and places reopen we will be out more which will solve this ‘problem’.

#AsBHasBlackoutBlindsTapedToHerWindowIDoNotLikeToTakeHerInThereMuchAsItIsSoDark

It’s not the nicest place to sit in the day, though yesterday I did take her to her room early before a nap and just read books with her which was nice.

#SoThisMorningIBroughtHerToOurBedroomWhichIHadToChildproofABitMoreForHer

I had stopped bringing her in here to play as she just goes for all the cables and it stresses me out. I miss our big living/dining room in Liverpool where there would not have been many hazards for her.

#IWasWorriedThatSheWasColdAndIDidNotWantToGoDownstairsToGetHerUsualIndoorJacket

Logistics. Laziness.

#SoIPutHerInHerDenimJacketThatSheHadNotWornBeforeAndIHadBroughtUpstairsAnHourBefore

My Mum got it for her and it’s a little big. I was trying to tidy up a bit downstairs and so brought it up here.

#ThenIRememberedThatTiagoHasADenimJacketSoIThoughtIWouldWearItAndWeCouldDoAShootToPassTheTimeUntilBreakfast

This made me feel better as I did not know what I would do for the shoot, so it felt good to get the shoot out of the way, pass some time with B and get some photos together.

#IAmNotSureWhichPictureIWillChooseYetButBWasQuiteFedUpAndIWasFeelingDownSoIfItLooksAllHappyFamilyThenThatMightNotBeTheReality

I sang ‘Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall eating yellow bananas…’ a fair few times to cheer her up. She just wanted to smash my laptop as per usual; she took a few pictures of me accidentally.

#HireUsForYourDenimAdvert

I actually thought I looked alright in the denim jacket so maybe I will start wearing it.

#MyMumIsHereNowSoIThinkWeWillGoHomeWithHerJustToGetAChangeOfScenery

Tiago is at work so he can pick us up afterwards. I don’t know why we haven’t gone home with my Mum before… I will have to get her to try to have a nap in her pushchair and I hope it doesn’t pour on us while I take her out for one.

(14th June: I couldn’t be bothered to pack up B’s stuff in the end, so we didn’t go.)

#BWasIllAndShePassedItOntoMeAndNowAllMyTeethHurtWhichIHopeIsJustRelatedToFeelingRundown

Great. Tiago was ill for about half a day.

#ItIsPainfulAndParacetamolDoesNotSeemToTouchItWhichDoesNotMakeMeFeelMuchBetter

Whine whine whine. It does hurt though.

#BeingIllWhenYouDoNotHaveAKidIsTotallyDifferentToBeingIllWithAKid

Tell me about it.

#LuckilyItWasABankHolidayWeekendSoTiagoWasAroundToHelpForAnExtraDayButICouldHaveJustDoneWithLyingInBedForAFewDaysButSillyMeFeelsGuiltyAboutSuchThingsNow

Tiago told me to have a lie down. I did. I felt better. I made some mac and cheese for us all (B loves it), and then I felt knackered again and needed a lie down. Pre-baby I did used to get exhaustion at least once a year and I’d just spend a weekend in bed, but it’s difficult now.

#YesterdayWeDidAVideoCallInTheKitchenAndIPutBsWalkerThereToSeeIfSheWouldUseIt #BeforeIHadEvenStartedTheCallSheStoodUpAndStartedToPushItWhichWasAHugeSurprise

She did not even think about it. She just got up and went until she ploughed into the cupboard.

#ITriedToGetHerToShowTiagoLaterButIThinkSheWasABitTiredAndDidNotDoItSoWell

She had just woken up from a nap, so her legs were probably not warmed up yet.

#SomeGoodNewsIsHeHadAnInterviewForHisBritishPassportAndThatWasFineSoFingersCrossedThatWillBeSortedSoon

It was good that he did not have to venture anywhere for it – though in Liverpool we lived really close to the passport office.

#WeAreDefinitelyInNeedOfSomeTimeAwaySomewhereAndWeHopeWeCanSeeHisFamilyThisSummer

Fingers crossed. He is hopefully finding out today how long he is allowed to go away for if the world doesn’t go back to full doomed mode.

#IDoWonderHowIWouldHaveBeenIfIHadHadABabyInNonCovidTimesButIGuessIWouldStillBeStrugglingInSomeWay

I just wouldn’t realise I lucky I was…

#IAmJustPissedOffThatItHasBeenATotalPostcodeLotteryWithWhatHasBeenOpenInDifferentAreasOverTheLastFewMonthsAndWithWhatSupportYouGet

This has all obviously done me some good as I feel less pissed off than when I wrote this 30+ minutes ago. But it has been a total postcode lottery and I am jealous that friends in other areas have had a lot more things to go to. Oh well, as we keep saying to ourselves ‘things can only get better’.


Thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying my blog (and/or the work I make) please consider supporting me by ‘buying me a coffee’ on Ko-fi – thanks!

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Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Imitating B Watching The Washing Machine (1st May 2021)

A washing machine is on, my right hand is on the window, you can see part of my face reflected in the metallic surface of the machine and my nose can be seen in the top left hand corner.
Imitating B Watching The Washing Machine (1st May 2021)
 
#IfWeCanNotFindBThereIsAGoodChanceThatSheIsByTheWashingMachine
#PressingAllTheButtonsToSeeIfSheCanGetThemToMakeASound
#IfICallHerAndSheDoesNotComeThenIUsuallyOpenTheDishwasherAndSheQuicklyAppears
#ThisMorningSheKnockedOverACupOfColdCoffeeAndTiagosLaptopScreenWillNotWork
#NotLongBeforeIHadMovedNansCupsAroundToDecreaseTheRiskOfKnockingThemOver
#ThenTiagoPutHisCupOnTheTableWithHisLaptopNearbyAndThereYouGo
#BsWordRangeHasIncreasedToHerJustSayingDadAllTheTimeNow
#SheWokeUpWithASnottyColdYesterdaySoItHasBeenFunChasingHerAroundAfterHerAllTheTimeWithATissue
#IHaveNotTakenHerForAWalkInTwoDaysButTheWeatherHasBeenQuiteRubbish
#WeWentToTheSupermarketLastNightWhichSeemsToBeOurNewWeeklyFamilyTime
#SheIsEatingMoreOfOurMealsNowAndFeedingHerselfMoreWhichIsNice
#ItJustMakesThingsSoMuchEasier
#IAmLookingForwardToMoreThingsReopeningLikeSoftPlayPlaces
#ItWillBeNiceToTakeHerOutToFunActivitiesAndItIsBetterNowThatIAmConfidentAboutHerEatingOutsideTheHouse
#TheOtherDayWeWereAllInTheBathroomAndBStoodUpFromTheFloorWithoutHoldingOntoAnything
#ItMightHaveBeenBecauseSheWasSoBoredInThereButSheDidItAFewTimes
#MyNanSaidSheDidItYesterdayInTheLivingRoomButItIsNotARegularThingYet
#InOtherNewsIHaveBookedADrivingTheoryTest
#IHaveNotTriedToDriveSince2010WhenIWasTryingToPassMyTestBeforeMovingToLondon
#IRanOutOfTimeAndDueToNotNeedingToDriveInLondonAndConfidenceIssuesIDidNotKeepItUp
#IHaveThoughtAboutItOverTheYearsIncludingWhenWeLivedInLiverpool
#InLiverpoolIWentSoFarAsToBuyATheoryAppButNeverEvenOpenedIt
#ThenAfterBWasBornISaidIWantedToLearnToDriveButThenThePandemicHasDraggedOn
#LessonsHaveStartedUpAgainNowButNoOneHasAvailabilityAtTheMoment
#AndAllOfTheTestCentresAreFullyBookedUntilOctoberApparently
#ARidiculousNumberOfPeopleAreWaitingToTakeTheirTests
#SoIMightAsWellGetTheTheoryPartDoneAndThenTryToGetLessonsWhenICan
#IFeelLikeIAmRubbishWithSpatialAwarenessAndManoeuvresButIMightHaveMagicallyGainedSomeSkillsIn10PlusYearsOfNotDriving
#IThinkConfidenceIsABigPartOfItAllAndIDidNotHaveMuchThatLongAgo
#TiagoSaysHeFindsItWeirdThatISayIDoNotHaveTheConfidenceToDriveButCanTalkInFrontOf100PlusPeople

(6th June: A bit of a different picture. No flash as the space is too small to have my usual softbox, I’ve messed so many times with the colour of the image and it’s probably still wrong. Debated cropping my nose out but I quite like it.)

#IfWeCanNotFindBThereIsAGoodChanceThatSheIsByTheWashingMachine

It is usually the first place I look if I’ve turned my back and she’s crawled off.

#PressingAllTheButtonsToSeeIfSheCanGetThemToMakeASound

Changing the temperature, changing the spin, pausing it, trying to get any reaction from it.

#IfICallHerAndSheDoesNotComeThenIUsuallyOpenTheDishwasherAndSheQuicklyAppears

I might have mentioned it before. If she doesn’t respond to the noise of it opening then you know she is really engrossed by something.

#ThisMorningSheKnockedOverACupOfColdCoffeeAndTiagosLaptopScreenWillNotWork

Whoops.

#NotLongBeforeIHadMovedNansCupsAroundToDecreaseTheRiskOfKnockingThemOver

Nan likes to put her cups/glasses on a table mat and B likes to just pull the mat and anything that is on it. I am often monitoring the room for things that B can knock over.

#ThenTiagoPutHisCupOnTheTableWithHisLaptopNearbyAndThereYouGo

I was making dance videos so I wasn’t in the room to see the cup/B going towards it. Fail.

#BsWordRangeHasIncreasedToHerJustSayingDadAllTheTimeNow

I mainly just hear Dada and Dad all day.

#SheWokeUpWithASnottyColdYesterdaySoItHasBeenFunChasingHerAroundAfterHerAllTheTimeWithATissue

I could have imitated how B looked when she woke up yesterday morning, but it wouldn’t have been very delightful – dried snot on her nose.

#IHaveNotTakenHerForAWalkInTwoDaysButTheWeatherHasBeenQuiteRubbish

And I’ve been tired. Plus with her cold I did not really want to take her out yesterday. When I thought about taking her out it rained…

#WeWentToTheSupermarketLastNightWhichSeemsToBeOurNewWeeklyFamilyTime

Though we need to start planning meals the night before, not just as we are about to leave/are in the car.

#SheIsEatingMoreOfOurMealsNowAndFeedingHerselfMoreWhichIsNice

I try to make most meals be things where she can feed herself now. Yesterday I tried to turn her porridge into pancakes. They didn’t turn out as well as I hoped but they still tasted good and B fed herself.

#ItJustMakesThingsSoMuchEasier

It’s nice to get on and do other things like clean up, make food, eat etc while she eats.

#IAmLookingForwardToMoreThingsReopeningLikeSoftPlayPlaces

I have been looking at places to take her.

#ItWillBeNiceToTakeHerOutToFunActivitiesAndItIsBetterNowThatIAmConfidentAboutHerEatingOutsideTheHouse

A lot of kids places have cafes so we can get lunch there. It’ll be nice to have a change of scenery.

#TheOtherDayWeWereAllInTheBathroomAndBStoodUpFromTheFloorWithoutHoldingOntoAnything

I was super surprised.

#ItMightHaveBeenBecauseSheWasSoBoredInThereButSheDidItAFewTimes

We were just brushing our teeth and chilling while she watched us.

#MyNanSaidSheDidItYesterdayInTheLivingRoomButItIsNotARegularThingYet

She can not stand up for very long by herself yet but she is getting there.

#InOtherNewsIHaveBookedADrivingTheoryTest

I was going to try to study without booking a test yet, but I needed to book it as otherwise there would be no incentive to study.

#IHaveNotTriedToDriveSince2010WhenIWasTryingToPassMyTestBeforeMovingToLondon #IRanOutOfTimeAndDueToNotNeedingToDriveInLondonAndConfidenceIssuesIDidNotKeepItUp

I can not remember how many tests I failed. I tried to learn a few years before that too, but never did a test or my theory back then.

Now I’m kicking myself for not just trying to pass in London, but when I first moved there I was too scared to even get on a bus.

#IHaveThoughtAboutItOverTheYearsIncludingWhenWeLivedInLiverpool

I should have just done it as soon as I moved there. Oh well.

#InLiverpoolIWentSoFarAsToBuyATheoryAppButNeverEvenOpenedIt

Luckily I have it for now and it seems good. I have forgotten most of what I learned 10 years ago, but the test seems quite easy to revise for.

#ThenAfterBWasBornISaidIWantedToLearnToDriveButThenThePandemicHasDraggedOn

We went to a garden party and just before we went in I randomly said ‘I want to learn to drive’. It was during the early days of B when I was randomly feeling confident.

#LessonsHaveStartedUpAgainNowButNoOneHasAvailabilityAtTheMoment

I messaged 4 people.

#AndAllOfTheTestCentresAreFullyBookedUntilOctoberApparently

Great.

#ARidiculousNumberOfPeopleAreWaitingToTakeTheirTests

This article says 420,000 people are waiting for tests. How many of thoes people will need to retake the test?

#SoIMightAsWellGetTheTheoryPartDoneAndThenTryToGetLessonsWhenICan

I’d like to have a few lessons before I try to learn with Tiago – just to gain a bit of confidence by being in a car with dual controls first.

#IFeelLikeIAmRubbishWithSpatialAwarenessAndManoeuvresButIMightHaveMagicallyGainedSomeSkillsIn10PlusYearsOfNotDriving

I doubt it, but hopefully things will make more sense this time round.

#IThinkConfidenceIsABigPartOfItAllAndIDidNotHaveMuchThatLongAgo

I just need to not care what other people in their car think of me, and just get on with it.

#TiagoSaysHeFindsItWeirdThatISayIDoNotHaveTheConfidenceToDriveButCanTalkInFrontOf100PlusPeople

When I started to do improv comedy I thought something similar. It’s a skill that I’ll need in the future and it’ll make my life easier, so I’ll just try to do it asap. Not long ago I debated finding a TV show that was looking for learner drivers – I just had a search online and apparently a woman took 26 tests before she passed. That’ll be me…


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Categories
Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Imitating B Chewing On A Wet Flannel (28th April 2021)

Me with my hair up, holding a light blue flannel in both hands and putting part of it in my mouth. I am wearing a grey dress with black polka dots and am sat against a plain wall.
Imitating B Chewing On A Wet Flannel (28th April 2021)
 
#IAmSurprisedThatIsHasTakenMeThisLongToGetRoundToImitatingBChewingOnAWetFlannel
#AfterAMealIUsuallyWetAFlannelATryToWashHerFace
#HoweverSheJustWantsToChewOnItAsIGuessItMustFeelNiceForHerEverTeethingGums
#IBetWhenSheIsOlderBWillCallMeOutChoosingNotToShowHerFullFaceButDecidingToShareThingsLikeThis
#FairPlayFutureB
#SheHasStartedToSayGaGaMoreNow
#YesterdayWeGotSentAQuestionnaireToFillInAboutHerDevelopment
#AHealthVisitorWouldUsuallyVisitHerAround9To12MonthsToDoItButBecauseOfCovidTheyAreNotDoingItFaceToFace
#ThereAreQuestionsAboutCommunicationGrossMotorSkillsFineMotorSkillsProblemSolvingPersonalSkillsAndSocialSkills
#IThinkBNowDoesMostOfTheThingsThatItTalksAboutButIAmWorriedAboutFillingItInWrong
#ItIsShameThatSomeoneCanNotJustComeRoundAndDoItButIDoNotHaveAnyConcernsAboutHer
#LastWeekIWasWorriedThatSheWasTooHotInTheNightAndNowIThinkSheHasBeenTooCold
#SheWasAwakeForAnHourAndAHalfTheOtherNightButWentBackToSleepAfterIPutHerHeaterOn
#ItWasEitherThatThatFixedItOrItWasACoincidence
#IGotABitEmotionalYesterdaySeeingBHavingFunWithBabiesHerOwnAge
#WeHadAPicnicWithAMotherAndBabyFromOneOfHerClassesAndItWasReallyNice
#ThenSheWasJustCrawlingAroundAndInteractingWithBabiesInHerClass
#ThisIsHowItShouldHaveBeenTheWholeTimeSheHasBeenAliveButOhWell
#TheTeacherSaidThatTheyLearnTheConceptOfSharingAtFourWhichWeAllSighedAt
#ButReadingOnlineAnArticleSaysTheyReallyWantThingsToBeFairByTheTimeTheyAreSevenOrEight
#SoPlentyMoreYearsOfApologisingForBGrabbingToysAwayFromOtherKidsGreat
#MyAuntCameRoundToVisitUsAndBWasNotHappyAboutIt
#ThoughAgainAfterAWhileSheWasFineInHerCompanySoItIsGoodToKnowItIsJustAboutPerseverance
#IWasFeelingABitDownTheOtherDayAgainAndThenIRealisedThatTiagoHasNotHadAWeekOffSinceTheStartOfOctober
#NoWonderWeAreAllTired
#HeHasFinallyBookedAWeekOffInAMonthOrSoSoItIsNiceToHaveSomethingToCountDownTo
#INeedToWorkToBeMorePresentWhenIAmWithB
#ICompletedASurveyAboutSocialMediaTheOtherDayAndItAskedMeAboutMyMoodsWhenUsingIt
#IWasReallyNegativeAboutAllOfItSoINeedToUseItAndMyPhoneALotLess
#IWantToBeABetterMotherToBAndIWantToFeelHappier

#IAmSurprisedThatIsHasTakenMeThisLongToGetRoundToImitatingBChewingOnAWetFlannel

She has been doing it for a while.

#AfterAMealIUsuallyWetAFlannelATryToWashHerFace

Pretty standard.

#HoweverSheJustWantsToChewOnItAsIGuessItMustFeelNiceForHerEverTeethingGums

It makes sense. Yesterday she tried to teeth on my arm and it just hurt because of her one little sharp tooth.

#IBetWhenSheIsOlderBWillCallMeOutChoosingNotToShowHerFullFaceButDecidingToShareThingsLikeThis

Probably. I do wonder what she will think of this project, I do worry what she will think of this project. I hope she just finds it funny.

#FairPlayFutureB

I would say it’s your own fault for chewing on a flannel all the time, but you’ll probably just say ‘Mum, I was a baby I didn’t know any better!’

Fair play future B.

#SheHasStartedToSayGaGaMoreNow

Did I play Radio Ga Ga a few times this morning after B said it? Yes I did.

#YesterdayWeGotSentAQuestionnaireToFillInAboutHerDevelopment #AHealthVisitorWouldUsuallyVisitHerAround9To12MonthsToDoItButBecauseOfCovidTheyAreNotDoingItFaceToFace #ThereAreQuestionsAboutCommunicationGrossMotorSkillsFineMotorSkillsProblemSolvingPersonalSkillsAndSocialSkills #IThinkBNowDoesMostOfTheThingsThatItTalksAboutButIAmWorriedAboutFillingItInWrong

All the questions. It is a bit stressful. I started to do it, but I will wait until the weekend when Tiago is available to assess too.

#ItIsShameThatSomeoneCanNotJustComeRoundAndDoItButIDoNotHaveAnyConcernsAboutHer

It says if they don’t hear from us in 2 weeks then they will assume we have no worries.

(1st June: I didn’t bother finishing it in in the end as I was so pissed off that our friends in Liverpool have health visitors coming to them, and I don’t have any concerns about B’s development anyways.)

#LastWeekIWasWorriedThatSheWasTooHotInTheNightAndNowIThinkSheHasBeenTooCold

The joy never ends.

#SheWasAwakeForAnHourAndAHalfTheOtherNightButWentBackToSleepAfterIPutHerHeaterOn #ItWasEitherThatThatFixedItOrItWasACoincidence

We’d changed her nappy, given her paracetamol, given her water etc. Her room didn’t feel that cold, but it was 5am and we wanted to sleep so I thought it was worth a go.

#IGotABitEmotionalYesterdaySeeingBHavingFunWithBabiesHerOwnAge

I got a bit emotional writing this and thinking about it again.

#WeHadAPicnicWithAMotherAndBabyFromOneOfHerClassesAndItWasReallyNice

Just a normal thing that felt like a big deal.

#ThenSheWasJustCrawlingAroundAndInteractingWithBabiesInHerClass

I felt like we were sat in the cheeky corner as they were all just getting up to mischief. There are a lot of younger babies and B was looking at them, which was sweet.

#ThisIsHowItShouldHaveBeenTheWholeTimeSheHasBeenAliveButOhWell

I know a couple of them are starting nursery soon, so we’ll need to find some new friends in the class. People seem nice though so I’m sure it will be fine. The class is great and we all have a laugh which is really good.

#TheTeacherSaidThatTheyLearnTheConceptOfSharingAtFourWhichWeAllSighedAt

Sighed and groaned and lots of other negative reactions.

#ButReadingOnlineAnArticleSaysTheyReallyWantThingsToBeFairByTheTimeTheyAreSevenOrEight

I remember being about 6 in the playground and being like ‘Who wants to play Aladdin? I’ll be Jasmine.’ Someone would complain. ‘Okay, let’s play Beauty and the Beast. I’ll be Belle’. Then we moved and I became the shy kid.

#SoPlentyMoreYearsOfApologisingForBGrabbingToysAwayFromOtherKidsGreat

Luckily they don’t seem to mind about it so much yet.

#MyAuntCameRoundToVisitUsAndBWasNotHappyAboutIt

She was CRYING. Trying to look at her, then hiding and crying.

#ThoughAgainAfterAWhileSheWasFineInHerCompanySoItIsGoodToKnowItIsJustAboutPerseverance

It did take some time, but I guess she realises that we aren’t concerned and so feels fine. At classes she will go and sit next to someone else and forget about me, but I guess my Nan’s house and garden is her territory so she doesn’t like other people randomly coming along. Fair enough.

#IWasFeelingABitDownTheOtherDayAgainAndThenIRealisedThatTiagoHasNotHadAWeekOffSinceTheStartOfOctober #NoWonderWeAreAllTired

I can’t believe it’s been that long, but it does feel like forever ago.

#HeHasFinallyBookedAWeekOffInAMonthOrSoSoItIsNiceToHaveSomethingToCountDownTo

It’ll be nice to do some things as a family and B will be older so she will probably appreciate going to a farm or something. She does seem to like animals, but so do most kids her age I imagine.

#INeedToWorkToBeMorePresentWhenIAmWithB

I complain about being a bad mother, but I need to work on being better. It’s hard when I am tired, but I feel better when I feel like she is enjoying herself.

#ICompletedASurveyAboutSocialMediaTheOtherDayAndItAskedMeAboutMyMoodsWhenUsingIt #IWasReallyNegativeAboutAllOfItSoINeedToUseItAndMyPhoneALotLess

I had already decided that I was going to go on Instagram less and that just showed why I should go on it less. I really get little from it, which seems weird to say considering this whole project is built around the maximum number of hashtags that you can post on a post on Instagram.

#IWantToBeABetterMotherToBAndIWantToFeelHappier

I am tired and B will hopefully nap for another hour. I think I’m going to play a game of online Minesweeper then have a little rest and read a bit of the fourth Narnia book. I should probably just do the shoot now, but I might wait until B is having her second nap.

(1st June: I think B woke up 5 minutes after I finishing writing this, and I did the shoot during her second nap.)


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Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Eighth Family Portrait (24th April 2021)

Eighth Family Portrait (24th April 2021)
 
#IHaveSaidBeforeThatIHadWishWeHadDoneAFamilyPortraitEveryMonthSinceBWasBorn
#ButItDoesNotFeelLikeThatLongSinceTheLastOne
#ItIsTheWeekendAndTiagoSaidHeIsUpForDoingOneThoughSoWhyNot
#HeHasJustComeBackFromHavingHisSecondVaccine
#LastTimeHeHadToTakeTheNextDayOffWorkSoItMadeMoreSenseToGetItOnASaturdayThisTime
#TheWeatherIsNiceSoWeCanJustLazeAroundInTheGardenAtLeast
#ThisWeekWasGoodAsWeDidALotMoreThingsButMaybeItWasTooMuch
#IThinkWeNeedToLimitThingsToOnePlanADayAndThenMaybeHaveANoPlansDay
#YesterdayIThoughtWeWouldSeeIfBWouldTakeHerMorningNapInThePushchairWhichSheHasNotDoneInMonthsss
#IThinkSheOnlySleptFor10MinutesAndSoIWasStressedInsteadOfEnjoyingSeeingFriends
#ThenWeHadBookedOntoAWalkForAnHourAfterwardsAndBWouldNotSleepDuringThatTime
#ThenOnTheWalkSheWasFussySoILeftEarlyAndOfCourseSheFellAsleepOnTheWayHome
#ILetHerHave20MinutesAsItWasLunchtime
#LuckilySheWentOffToSleepWhenIAmUsuallyWakingHerUpFromHer2ndNap
#AndSheOnlyWentToBed30MinutesLaterThanUsualAndSleptWellInTheNightSoItAllWorkedOut
#ItAllSoundsLikeReallyBoringStuffButDueToThePandemicIHaveNotReallyHadToBeSpontaneousAndFlexibleWithHerRoutine
#AndIWorryAboutHowThingsThatHappenDuringTheDayWillAffectHerSleepAtNight
#LuckilyIThinkSheAdaptsPrettyWellSoINeedToStopBeingAStressHead
#WeSeemToHaveFoundTheRightClothesForHerAtBedtimeAsSheHasSleptALotBetterAtNightTheLast2Nights
#WhenIPutHerInHerPushchairNowSheSeemsToKnowThatSheNeedsToBeBuckledInAndAlwaysReachesForTheBottomPartOfIt
#ItMightJustBeSomethingThatSheLikesToMessWithButILikeToThinkThatSheIsHelpingMe
#YesterdayIWasJustRandomlyFilmingBAndItLookedLikeSheWasTryingToDoAYogaSequence
#TheOtherDaySheWasLaughingAtAPigeonDrinkingWaterFromABirdBathAndShakingItsHeadAfterwards
#ItIsAmazingHowMuchSheHasChangedSinceWeMovedHereNearly6MonthsAgo
#NanHasBeenSoKeenToGoToTheHairdressersThatSheWentAWeekEarlyForHerAppointment
#LuckilyTheySqueezedHerInSoSheIsHappy
#WeHaveDecidedToTryToGoToPortugalThisSummerForAWeddingButTiagoNeedsToSortHisPassportOut
#IPlannedToTakeBToSomeCharityShopsWhileTiagoWentToGetSomePhotosDone
#IHadTakenSomeForHimSomeWeeksAgoButTheWebsiteSaidTheyWerePoorDueToUsingFlashEtc
#WeEndedUpJustGoingInOneAsWeGotChattingToANiceLadyForAgesSoWeWillHaveToGoBackAnotherTime

#IHaveSaidBeforeThatIHadWishWeHadDoneAFamilyPortraitEveryMonthSinceBWasBorn

She’s been around for 11 months and this is our eighth, so we haven’t missed many really.

#ButItDoesNotFeelLikeThatLongSinceTheLastOne

Now I feel like if we want to keep doing them monthly then we need to take them at the end of the month. I thought maybe we could try next Saturday instead, but it’s 1st May. So nope, today is the day!

#ItIsTheWeekendAndTiagoSaidHeIsUpForDoingOneThoughSoWhyNot

We are yet to take it, so hopefully we’re all still in the mood later.

(26th May: Well, we managed it. It’s not the best picture, but it was the best out of a bad bunch. Originally I edited it so that she had two left arms (and one was holding a ball), but I didn’t do it very well so I had another go with it last week or so and I much prefer this.)

#HeHasJustComeBackFromHavingHisSecondVaccine

I think that maybe I need to start being proactive and try to find a spare vaccine. There must be some going to waste every day?

Tiago asked a steward and they said to call around 11am, but that the person at reception might be annoyed. Can’t wait to call…

#LastTimeHeHadToTakeTheNextDayOffWorkSoItMadeMoreSenseToGetItOnASaturdayThisTime

He said he is already feeling sick, but I guess we’ll have to see. I’m trying to get my work done ASAP so I can look after him if need be.

(26th May: He was fine.)

#TheWeatherIsNiceSoWeCanJustLazeAroundInTheGardenAtLeast

We don’t have any plans this weekend, so it’s a good time to have a lazy weekend.

#ThisWeekWasGoodAsWeDidALotMoreThingsButMaybeItWasTooMuch

Typical I want to do lots of things, and then I do lots of things and it feels like too much.

#IThinkWeNeedToLimitThingsToOnePlanADayAndThenMaybeHaveANoPlansDay

On Thursday we had no plans and I felt super tired so it’s definitely a good idea. If I know we have some plans here and there then I feel better, so now it’s about finding the right balance. Maybe as I get used to socialising again we can do more.

#YesterdayIThoughtWeWouldSeeIfBWouldTakeHerMorningNapInThePushchairWhichSheHasNotDoneInMonthsss

I was nervous.

#IThinkSheOnlySleptFor10MinutesAndSoIWasStressedInsteadOfEnjoyingSeeingFriends

She seemed to be asleep and I was standing outside of the kid’s playground as I thought the squeaky gate might wake her up. Went through the gate and thought I’d got away with it even though it SQUEAKED, then after not very long I realised she was awake. Fail. We can try again in the future, but maybe it’s best if it is a walk and not somewhere where there are a lot of kids. Luckily I knew we had the rest of the day to make it up.

#ThenWeHadBookedOntoAWalkForAnHourAfterwardsAndBWouldNotSleepDuringThatTime

I had debated just going home, but thought I shouldn’t as it used to be fully booked and I have whined before about people not turning up. I nearly couldn’t find anyone as the person was running late, but just as I was about to give up I found them.

#ThenOnTheWalkSheWasFussySoILeftEarlyAndOfCourseSheFellAsleepOnTheWayHome

I was so stressed out by this point and not in the mood to talk to people anyways. I think we will give the walk a miss in future as B doesn’t like to be stuck in her pushchair for an hour – which I have said before.

I was also glad to go home as it was a warm day and I had washed my water bottle, but it tasted so much of soap. I rinsed it out loads yesterday and it still does. Blergh.

#ILetHerHave20MinutesAsItWasLunchtime

Usually when I stop pushing her she wakes up, but she was in a deep sleep. I felt bad waking her but I was not sure what to do with her schedule. I was hoping if she had a shorter nap that she would be tired enough to have an earlier nap.

#LuckilySheWentOffToSleepWhenIAmUsuallyWakingHerUpFromHer2ndNap

Hurrah. It was only 2 hours after I had woken her up, and she is usually awake for 3 and a half hours after her first nap so it went well. I tried to nap, but it was difficult. I think I only had 10 minutes, then I read some of the 3rd Narnia book – The Horse and His Boy. I am really enjoying the series.

#AndSheOnlyWentToBed30MinutesLaterThanUsualAndSleptWellInTheNightSoItAllWorkedOut

Hurrah.

#ItAllSoundsLikeReallyBoringStuffButDueToThePandemicIHaveNotReallyHadToBeSpontaneousAndFlexibleWithHerRoutine

So it is super stressful for me. Though some parents may read this and be like ‘you need to chill more’. Hopefully with time! I had packed lunch for her in case we wanted to have lunch out after the walk – maybe next time!

#AndIWorryAboutHowThingsThatHappenDuringTheDayWillAffectHerSleepAtNight

I just want her to sleep well as she hasn’t been so much lately – until the last couple of nights. T said maybe she is going through a leap. Checked the app. Lightning sign over the next few weeks. Okay.

#LuckilyIThinkSheAdaptsPrettyWellSoINeedToStopBeingAStressHead

I think having the blackout blinds in her room helped yesterday as well.

#WeSeemToHaveFoundTheRightClothesForHerAtBedtimeAsSheHasSleptALotBetterAtNightTheLast2Nights

At the moment she has a long sleeved vest on and a 2.5 tog sleeping bag. We tried the long sleeved vest with the 1 tog (too cold?), and a long sleeved suit with the 1 tog (too hot?).

#WhenIPutHerInHerPushchairNowSheSeemsToKnowThatSheNeedsToBeBuckledInAndAlwaysReachesForTheBottomPartOfIt

She’s done it the last few days now. I find it really cute.

#ItMightJustBeSomethingThatSheLikesToMessWithButILikeToThinkThatSheIsHelpingMe

She did something similar in her highchair today too – reaching for the strap on one side. However she does like to hold onto her highchair and chew on the buckle when it’s just hanging around.

#YesterdayIWasJustRandomlyFilmingBAndItLookedLikeSheWasTryingToDoAYogaSequence

She put her hands on the floor, then kneeled and put one foot on the floor, then lifted her arms in the air.

#TheOtherDaySheWasLaughingAtAPigeonDrinkingWaterFromABirdBathAndShakingItsHeadAfterwards

I was too late to film it. I just got her looking away from it, doing a loud scream, then turning back to see it was flying away.

#ItIsAmazingHowMuchSheHasChangedSinceWeMovedHereNearly6MonthsAgo

We hadn’t even started to wean her before we moved here, and now she is picking chunks of butternut squash out of her porridge and chewing them down fairly nicely – there was a little choke this morning.

#NanHasBeenSoKeenToGoToTheHairdressersThatSheWentAWeekEarlyForHerAppointment

I was thinking it was a bit soon considering they had called her two days ago.

#LuckilyTheySqueezedHerInSoSheIsHappy

She was also happy to get out of the house for a bit.

#WeHaveDecidedToTryToGoToPortugalThisSummerForAWeddingButTiagoNeedsToSortHisPassportOut

The trip used to be a right faff without a baby and a pandemic, so let’s see how it goes. Two flights, probably starting off from Manchester or London, maybe getting cancelled due to Covid, maybe having to isolate somewhere, yeah I am already stressed. Tiago hasn’t seen his family in 18 months and he hasn’t been to his home island in 2 years…

(26th May: H got his passport last week. I knew it came quicker than we thought it would, but wow that was fast. The site said it was a 10 week wait…)

#IPlannedToTakeBToSomeCharityShopsWhileTiagoWentToGetSomePhotosDone

Baby clothes, baby books, baby toys – let’s see what they’ve got!

#IHadTakenSomeForHimSomeWeeksAgoButTheWebsiteSaidTheyWerePoorDueToUsingFlashEtc

The only room with a plain/empty wall in this house is B’s room, and the windows are on one side of it. Hello shadow. So I tried with flash and they said it was rubbish, so I said Tiago should go to a shop and get it done. I did B’s fine, but I think they are less fussy with babies.

#WeEndedUpJustGoingInOneAsWeGotChattingToANiceLadyForAgesSoWeWillHaveToGoBackAnotherTime

She just asked what I thought of the sunglasses she was trying on, then noticed B and we got talking about the pandemic, classes, life etc.

We have less plans for next week, so let’s see how it goes!


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Categories
Oh Me, Oh Mãe

I Say That B Is Always Hurting Herself, But I Am Evidently No Better (21st April 2021)

I Say That B Is Always Hurting Herself, But I Am Evidently No Better (21st April 2021)
 
#IAmAlwaysTalkingAboutHowBIsConstantlyHurtingHerself
#HoweverIHaveANiceBruiseOnMyKneeFromHittingItOnTheStairPostAtTheBottomOfTheStairs
#NanHasSomeGeraniumsAtTheBottomOfTheStairsThatAreWaitingForWarmerWeatherToBePlanted
#AndIDidNotTurnTheLandingLightOnInCaseItWokeBUp
#SoIWasObviouslyABitTooCloseToThePostTryingToAvoidThePlantsAndBam
#InOtherNewsThisWeekSoFarIsShapingUpToBeTheKindOfWeekThatIHaveBeenAfterForMonths
#WeFedBHerLunchOutsideForTheFirstTimeAtAParkWhileMeetingFriends
#IChoseSomethingThatIKnowSheLikedAndBroughtSnacksAndSheAtePrettyWell
#ItDoesNotSoundLikeABigDealButItFeelsLikeABigOneToMe
#WeHaveAlsoHungOutWithAMumAndBabyAtAParkWhichWasNice
#ItIsNiceToMeetPeopleWhoAreAlsoKeenToHangOut
#IFeltTiredAfterwardsAsIWasNotUsedToTalkingAndListeningSoMuch
#WeAlsoWentToABabyClassWhichBEnjoyedAgain
#SheWasCompletelyCaptivatedByTheTeacherLookingLikeAFairyWithLitUpBigWingsWhileBubblesBlewAroundTheRoom
#ThenWeHungOutWithAMumAndBabyAfterClassWhichIsSuchANormalThingToDoButItIsSomethingWeHaveNotDoneBefore
#IWentToAnAdultExerciseClassWhichWasGoodButItFeltWeirdToGoByMyself
#IAmEitherGettingBetterAtSocialisingOrIAmCaringLessWhatPeopleThinkWhichIsGood
#IThinkTheHappierIAmTheLessIJudgeMyselfWhichIsNice
#WeHavePlansToMeetMorePeopleThisWeekAndToGoToAnotherBabyClass
#ThereIsSoMuchTimeInTheDayToPassBySoItIsNiceToFinallyBeFillingItWithDifferentThings
#IAmStillGettingUsedToSeeingBInOutfitsAsItIsFunnyHowDifferentItMakesHerLook
#TheLastCoupleOfNightsHaveBeenQuiteHotAndIHaveBeenStressedThatSheIsTooHot
#SheHasMadeMoreNoiseDuringTheNightThoughSometimesItSeemsLikeSheIsAsleepAndItMightBeJustDueToTeethingAndOtherThings
#AsIAlwaysSayIWishSheCouldJustTellMeWhatSheWantsOrNeeds
#SheHasBeenEatingABitMoreIndependentlyNowWhichMeansICanCleanUpAsSheEatsAndILoveSavingTime
#WheneverSheHearsTheDishwasherOpeningSheMovesPrettyQuicklyFromWhereverSheIs
#IDoNotKnowWhySheLikesItSoMuchButIGuessItIsSomethingDifferentToInspect
#TheOtherDayInTheParkASchoolKidWalkedByAndShowedHerABatThatHeHadDrawn
#IShouldHaveSaidNotToGetTooCloseAsBRippedItsHeadOffAndIFeltBadForTheKid
#PerhapsThisMeansThatBIsStartingToTurnIntoABrummie

#IAmAlwaysTalkingAboutHowBIsConstantlyHurtingHerself

Well, yesterday she did bump her head and had a bit of a swollen eyebrow, but it went down pretty quick.

#HoweverIHaveANiceBruiseOnMyKneeFromHittingItOnTheStairPostAtTheBottomOfTheStairs

Genius.

#NanHasSomeGeraniumsAtTheBottomOfTheStairsThatAreWaitingForWarmerWeatherToBePlanted

It seemed like a nice spot by the door, though some have been flattened from her daily newspaper falling on them.

#AndIDidNotTurnTheLandingLightOnInCaseItWokeBUp

Of course.

#SoIWasObviouslyABitTooCloseToThePostTryingToAvoidThePlantsAndBam

It hurt, but I did not think it would bruise as much as it has. It has probably faded a bit now. I am writing all this with the intention of doing a shoot later of my knee. Not the most interesting perhaps, but I know I have done at least one other post about injuries.

(21st May: My Nan ended up binning them yesterday. She said it had been a total waste of time – and a waste of my ‘injury’. Oh well.)

#InOtherNewsThisWeekSoFarIsShapingUpToBeTheKindOfWeekThatIHaveBeenAfterForMonths

I hope next week is as good, and we’re only on Wednesday.

#WeFedBHerLunchOutsideForTheFirstTimeAtAParkWhileMeetingFriends #IChoseSomethingThatIKnowSheLikedAndBroughtSnacksAndSheAtePrettyWell

This was at the weekend, but it gives me hope for the future. If she can eat lunch when we’re out then we can stay out longer/go further which is good. I am trying to build my confidence up with these things as we’ve had little practice.

#ItDoesNotSoundLikeABigDealButItFeelsLikeABigOneToMe

It feels like a huge step, after feeding B in her high chair in the kitchen for months. T was helping me, so we will have to see how it goes when I’m by myself. I will probably just put her in her pushchair if she is moving about too much.

#WeHaveAlsoHungOutWithAMumAndBabyAtAParkWhichWasNice

It is someone that I have been messaging since before Xmas, but we were yet to meetup.

#ItIsNiceToMeetPeopleWhoAreAlsoKeenToHangOut

People who are like ‘I know we hung out today but do you want to hang out again this week?’ It feels like dating with how keen or not keen you are supposed to be.

#IFeltTiredAfterwardsAsIWasNotUsedToTalkingAndListeningSoMuch

I did plan to have a nap, but I had so much stuff to do.

#WeAlsoWentToABabyClassWhichBEnjoyedAgain

She was moving around a bit, but not as much as last week. I also just let her be a bit more free – seeing how far she was planning to crawl before I went to retrieve her.

#SheWasCompletelyCaptivatedByTheTeacherLookingLikeAFairyWithLitUpBigWingsWhileBubblesBlewAroundTheRoom

It is so nice to see other people in a room enjoying simple things like rolling beach balls to each other (with sanitised hands of course).

#ThenWeHungOutWithAMumAndBabyAfterClassWhichIsSuchANormalThingToDoButItIsSomethingWeHaveNotDoneBefore

Playdate after class? Yes please. It meant I had to push B’s nap back a bit, but she then had a short nap on the way home. Yes she did have a later bedtime, but we were flexible and it was fine! Small steps.

#IWentToAnAdultExerciseClassWhichWasGoodButItFeltWeirdToGoByMyself

I tried to jog there and back, but I had to stop a few times. If I keep going then I am hoping to build up to not stopping.

I spoke to the woman next to me and it felt easy to chat.

#IAmEitherGettingBetterAtSocialisingOrIAmCaringLessWhatPeopleThinkWhichIsGood

A bit of both perhaps.

#IThinkTheHappierIAmTheLessIJudgeMyselfWhichIsNice

And it also makes me feel like a better parent which is nice.

#WeHavePlansToMeetMorePeopleThisWeekAndToGoToAnotherBabyClass

Definitely need to make more plans for next week, though I think I do not need something for everyday as maybe it will be nice to just have a chill day where we do not have to plan ahead too much.

#ThereIsSoMuchTimeInTheDayToPassBySoItIsNiceToFinallyBeFillingItWithDifferentThings

This is what I have wanted for monthsss.

#IAmStillGettingUsedToSeeingBInOutfitsAsItIsFunnyHowDifferentItMakesHerLook

She looks so different. I’m like ‘is this my child?’

#TheLastCoupleOfNightsHaveBeenQuiteHotAndIHaveBeenStressedThatSheIsTooHot

One night it felt too cold for a short sleeve vest, but a sleepsuit was perhaps too much, but we put her in the suit. Yesterday my Mum got some long sleeved vests and we put her in one of those, but Tiago said her legs were cold this morning.

#SheHasMadeMoreNoiseDuringTheNightThoughSometimesItSeemsLikeSheIsAsleepAndItMightBeJustDueToTeethingAndOtherThings

Two nights ago she was making a lot of noise. Last night we had to go in at midnight and 5am. Tonight will be cooler so I think we can get away with a sleepsuit. I have never kept track of the weather and temperature so much in my life…

#AsIAlwaysSayIWishSheCouldJustTellMeWhatSheWantsOrNeeds

But that would be too easy.

#SheHasBeenEatingABitMoreIndependentlyNowWhichMeansICanCleanUpAsSheEatsAndILoveSavingTime

Her suction cup bowl does not suction well to her tray, so I just scatter it on her tray. Yesterday she was quite happy just picking at bits and she seemed to eat well. I have tried to eat my lunch in front of her, but she’ll just want what I have. I had to share my melon yesterday.

#WheneverSheHearsTheDishwasherOpeningSheMovesPrettyQuicklyFromWhereverSheIs

Sometimes I open it just to test her…

#IDoNotKnowWhySheLikesItSoMuchButIGuessItIsSomethingDifferentToInspect

It’s all been fine until she bumped her head on the corner last week…

#TheOtherDayInTheParkASchoolKidWalkedByAndShowedHerABatThatHeHadDrawn

It was really cool. We were just sat on the grass and he came by which was sweet.

#IShouldHaveSaidNotToGetTooCloseAsBRippedItsHeadOffAndIFeltBadForTheKid

His Dad was watching but was chill about the whole thing. He was like ‘we’ll fix it when we get home’. B tried to reach for the bat again and the kid pulled it away, which is fair.

#PerhapsThisMeansThatBIsStartingToTurnIntoABrummie

It’s been my terrible joke of the week that relates to Ozzy Osbourne (born in Birmingham) biting the head off of a bat. I thought that didn’t actually happen, but apparently it did. Not great.

I’m off to wake B up now, and hopefully I’ll do a shoot when she naps later.

(21st May: The shoot wasn’t that great, but it is what it is – a picture of my bruised knee.)


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Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Imitating B Standing Up In Her Cot (17th April 2021)

Imitating B Standing Up In Her Cot (17th April 2021)
 
#ThisSeemsToBeANewSkillThatBHasDevelopedInTheLastFewDays
#ThisMorningTiagoWentToGetHerAndSaidThatSheWasStandingUpInIt
#AtTimesSheGripsSoTightToTheFrameThatHerHandsLoseTheirColour
#IAmSoRelievedThatItIsTheWeekend
#TheWeekdaysJustSeemToDragSoMuchAndByThursdayIAmUsuallyNotFeelingSoGreat
#IWasGladWeGoToGoToAClassThisWeekButThenIJustFeltRubbishAfterwards
#ItWasSoNiceToSitInARoomWithPeopleAndBabiesAndToInteract
#SoEverydaySinceHasJustFeltCrummyAsIWantTheSameExperienceEveryWeekday
#NextWeekWeHaveAFewMoreThingsInOurDiarySoHopefullyItWillBeNicer
#SomeDaysITakeBOutTwiceADayJustToTryToHaveSomeKindOfInteractionWithSomeone
#ItSoundsDumbAsObviouslyWeLiveWithMyNanAndTiagoButSometimesTiagoIsOutOrIDoNotWantToBotherHim
#AlsoAFewMinutesIsNotTheSameAsHangingOutWithSomeoneForAPeriodOfTime
#IFeelBadAsIFeelLonelyWhenISpendAllDayWithB
#SheIsGoodCompanyButItIsNotTheSameAsHavingConversationsWithPeople
#IWorrySheWillReadThisWhenSheIsOlderAndFeelBad
#BILoveYouButThisPandemicHasBeenToughAndThingsAreNotHowIThoughtTheyWouldBe
#IFeelLikePeopleCanSmellTheDesperationOnMeAndAgainMySocialSkillsAreRubbish
#ICanNotBeTheOnlyOneInTheAreaThatFeelsLikeThisThough
#IWouldSignBUpForAClassEverydayButALotClashWithBsNaps
#ICouldTryToRearrangeHerDayButItFeelsLikeABitTooMuch
#EspeciallyAsIDoLikeTheScheduleWeHaveAndIAmUsedToIt
#SoIProbablyShouldNotWhineThenButIAmABitStuckInMyWays
#AtSomePointSheWillGoDownToOneNapADayAndThenThatWillChangeTheDayALot
#ThoughForNowINeedHerToHaveHerTwoNapsSoICanGetThingsDone
#YesterdayIWasSoTiredThatIJustGotIntoBedAndReadAndNappedDuringThem
#MyBodyGetsToAPointWhereItIsSoTiredThatIJustNeedToRestAndRecover
#IThinkTheTirednessIsOftenCausedByMyMentalStateButIfThereIsNothingPressingToDoThenARestIsFine
#AnywaysINeedToStopWhiningAndTryToBeProactiveToMakeTheWeekdaysBetter
#IStillDreadMealtimesABitThoughSheIsEatingWellTheseDays
#HopefullyWithBetterWeatherOnTheWayWeCanJustSitOutsideMoreAndThatWillBeEnoughOfAChangeToMakeTheDaysPassBetter
 

#ThisSeemsToBeANewSkillThatBHasDevelopedInTheLastFewDays

I just walked into her room one day and was surprised to see her doing it. It might have been yesterday, it might have been 2 days ago. I can’t remember, but I do remember thinking yesterday that I should imitate it.

#ThisMorningTiagoWentToGetHerAndSaidThatSheWasStandingUpInIt

So it was the first time he’d seen it.

#AtTimesSheGripsSoTightToTheFrameThatHerHandsLoseTheirColour

Her fingers go white with tiny bits of red.

#IAmSoRelievedThatItIsTheWeekend

It’s been a couple of hours since I wrote these hashtags and I already feel much better – I finished a yoga session (I stopped as I felt in the mood to write these hashtags), I did a shoot, I did 4 dance videos, I edited the dance videos, had breakfast, had a quick shower and now I’m writing these at 10.10am.

(17th May – And then I was super tired. I think I often try to do too much on Saturday mornings when Tiago is around to look after B, and I pay for it later. This Saturday I had to have a long nap in the afternoon.)

#TheWeekdaysJustSeemToDragSoMuchAndByThursdayIAmUsuallyNotFeelingSoGreat

This project is all about trying to be as honest as possible about my motherhood journey. I feel like I’m honest but not as honest as I could be. I am not looking for pity or sympathy or whatever, I just want to say how I am finding things.

#IWasGladWeGoToGoToAClassThisWeekButThenIJustFeltRubbishAfterwards

Some normality (whatever that means) and then back to how it’s been for months.

#ItWasSoNiceToSitInARoomWithPeopleAndBabiesAndToInteract

Like I said in my last post, it was so nice to see B smiling at everyone. Yesterday my Uncles surprised us with a visit and B was crying at them, so I think she doesn’t like people suddenly turning up on her home turf. Well, they were already in the garden but she’d just got up from a nap.

#SoEverydaySinceHasJustFeltCrummyAsIWantTheSameExperienceEveryWeekday

I’ve been looking forward to going to a class for so long, but then yeah the rest of the week just felt like going back to old times.

#NextWeekWeHaveAFewMoreThingsInOurDiarySoHopefullyItWillBeNicer

Our diary is a bit busier next week, so fingers crossed.

#SomeDaysITakeBOutTwiceADayJustToTryToHaveSomeKindOfInteractionWithSomeone

Take B to the swings. See if there is anyone to talk to. And repeat. The other day some small kids were talking to us.

One asked why she did not have shoes.

Me: Because she doesn’t need them yet as she can’t walk. She does have two pairs of socks on though.

Her: Two pairs of socks? That’s a bit greedy!

I told Tiago and he said ‘how do young kids have such a good sense of humour already?’

#ItSoundsDumbAsObviouslyWeLiveWithMyNanAndTiagoButSometimesTiagoIsOutOrIDoNotWantToBotherHim

I can feel quite alone during the weekdays. It’s nice to live with my Nan and we’re grateful to her for letting us live with her, but I do not always see her much in the day either.

#AlsoAFewMinutesIsNotTheSameAsHangingOutWithSomeoneForAPeriodOfTime

I feel bad for bothering Tiago so I try to just wait until he comes out of his ‘office’. His lunch never feels long enough.

#IFeelBadAsIFeelLonelyWhenISpendAllDayWithB

This feels a bit sh*tty to say.

#SheIsGoodCompanyButItIsNotTheSameAsHavingConversationsWithPeople

If she could talk it would be so much different. I still feel like I do not talk to her enough. I wish she could talk. She does babble a lot more now, but it’s not proper conversation.

#IWorrySheWillReadThisWhenSheIsOlderAndFeelBad

I do worry what she will think about all of this when she is older.

#BILoveYouButThisPandemicHasBeenToughAndThingsAreNotHowIThoughtTheyWouldBe

I do love you B. I’m so glad that you exist, but it’s been tough.

And I feel like people read this and think like I act like I’m the only person who has found the pandemic/lockdowns tough. Of course I know I’m not the only one. I think everyone has found it tough in one way or another. This is just my diary of sorts and so I say what I feel.

#IFeelLikePeopleCanSmellTheDesperationOnMeAndAgainMySocialSkillsAreRubbish

I was reading something the other day about just act like you’re the popular kid. If you act like the awkward, anxious person you are then it’s a self fulfilling prophecy. I’d feel like a fake trying to be the popular kid, but I just need to be me and stop caring so much.

#ICanNotBeTheOnlyOneInTheAreaThatFeelsLikeThisThough

I think I said that I posted in our local group about wanting to meet more people. The problem is most people are free to meet up at the weekend, which is fine, but I want more weekday friends. Weekdays are the problem!

#IWouldSignBUpForAClassEverydayButALotClashWithBsNaps

I look most days to see if there are any new ones. I’m going to try out an outdoor exercise class next week if the weather is good, as T can put B to bed and I can still have some time afterwards to do anything that I need to do. I think it will be good for me.

#ICouldTryToRearrangeHerDayButItFeelsLikeABitTooMuch

She is generally getting up around 6.45am now. I don’t want to get her up earlier in able to go to classes. Nah. If she was waking up at 6am every morning still then fair enough, I’d adapt her schedule for classes.

#EspeciallyAsIDoLikeTheScheduleWeHaveAndIAmUsedToIt

It seems to serve us well, except for classes that she naps through.

#SoIProbablyShouldNotWhineThenButIAmABitStuckInMyWays

If you understand then you understand, if you don’t then I don’t know.

#AtSomePointSheWillGoDownToOneNapADayAndThenThatWillChangeTheDayALot

I am hoping that isn’t for a few more months at least.

#ThoughForNowINeedHerToHaveHerTwoNapsSoICanGetThingsDone

Nap in the morning to try to get stuff done, nap in the afternoon to get minor stuff done or have a nap if there is nothing urgent to do. Or if her first nap is rubbish like yesterday, then we just deal with it and try to get more stuff done in the second nap.

#YesterdayIWasSoTiredThatIJustGotIntoBedAndReadAndNappedDuringThem

I haven’t been reading much lately, so I’m trying to get back into it.

I finished reading Life Below Stairs: True Lives of Edwardian Servants by Alison Maloney. It was a short read, but it still took me ages.

Then I started to read The Magician’s Nephew by C.S. Lewis last night. I need an escape of sorts, and I’ve never read all the Narnia books. I know they’re not really for adults, but why not. I’ve just seen that this was published 6th, but my library says it is the first in the series. I was wondering why I had never heard of it before. Oh well.

#MyBodyGetsToAPointWhereItIsSoTiredThatIJustNeedToRestAndRecover

I used to get this before having a baby, so with a 10 month old that I look after all week no wonder I’m due for a period of this.

#IThinkTheTirednessIsOftenCausedByMyMentalStateButIfThereIsNothingPressingToDoThenARestIsFine

I need to look after myself.

Someone just slammed a door downstairs and B seems to have woken up. Great. I’m ready for a nap… I wanted to just lie in bed and rest more this morning but I thought I should get up and start doing my work. I feel less guilty for doing work on weekend mornings as I think that Tiago does not like to start his weekends with work.

#AnywaysINeedToStopWhiningAndTryToBeProactiveToMakeTheWeekdaysBetter

Try to go to more classes/hang out in the park. Try to meet people no matter how awkward it is. Go to a class by myself. Be more positive. Be grateful that I have a small human to look after.

#IStillDreadMealtimesABitThoughSheIsEatingWellTheseDays

I am trying to encourage her to feed herself more these days. It seems to be working.

#HopefullyWithBetterWeatherOnTheWayWeCanJustSitOutsideMoreAndThatWillBeEnoughOfAChangeToMakeTheDaysPassBetter

I say this every post but fingers crossed.

B has gone back to sleep. Phew. I would have a lie down now, but our bedsheets are in the wash so I’m just going to try to do a few more things – post dance videos, edit/backup the shoot, and look at some work work that I need to do.


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Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Portrait Of A Mother Of A Ten Month Old (14th April 2021)

Portrait Of A Mother Of A Ten Month Old (14th April 2021)
 
#TheLastFewDaysHaveFeltLikeHowTheLast10MonthsShouldHaveBeen
#MeetingUpWithFriendsAndTheirKidsAndBumpingIntoABabyFriendInTheParkAndGoingToAClass
#SheGotMudOnHerSuitForTheFirstTimeInTheParkAsSheCrawledAboutWithABaby
#SheLikesToTryToEatEverythingAndIAmTryingToBeOkayWithLettingHerEatSomeDirt
#IHadToGetATwigOutOfHerMouthAndThenIThoughtSheWasTryingToEatAnotherOne
#HoweverItWasACigaretteButtWhichIsObviouslyNotGreat
#IMadeAJokeAboutItBeingTooEarlyForHerToStartAndThenICringed
#MySocialSkillsAreReallyTerribleButIAmNoLongerGoingToBeatMyselfUpForIt
#IfPeopleLikeMeThenTheyLikeMeAndIfTheyDoNotThenIAmNotGoingToDwellOnIt
#BJustLooksSoHappySeeingOtherBabiesAndYoungKidsThatIReallyHopeTheRulesDoNotGetStricterAgain
#IPutBInAnOutfitForHerClassInsteadOfHerUsualOnesies
#ItWasProbablyOnlyTheThirdTimeThatSheHasBeenInAnOutfit
#TAndIBothThoughtThatSheDidNotLookLikeOurBaby
#IPlannedToGetThereEarlyButOfCourseIEndedUpRunningUpAHillWithAPushchair
#BJustLovedLookingAroundAtEveryoneAndSmilingAtAllTheBabies
#OfCourseSheDidNotWantToStayOnTheMatAndIHadToKeepGrabbingHerBack
#TheLastTimeSheWasAtThatClassSheWasATotallyDifferentBaby
#IDoFeelLikeWeHaveMissedOutOnALotButIJustWantToMakeSureWeHaveAReallyGreatSummerNow
#AtTheEndSheWasWavingAtEveryoneWithBothHandsAndTheWholeClassWentAww
#IDidFeelProud
#ISatUsInTheShadeToGiveBHerMilkAndOfCourseTheSunWentAwayStraightAway
#ItWasTheFirstTimeIHadFedHerFormulaInThePark
#ItTookHerAWhileToFallAsleepInHerPushchairButSheEventuallyDid
#AfterMonthsOfHavingAQuiteStrictScheduleIAmTryingToBeChillAboutAdaptingAndBeingFlexible
#TheOtherDayIGaveHerSomeLunchInTheParkWhichWasTheFirstTimeIHadDoneThatToo
#IAmTryingToBePreparedForSpontaneousMomentsWhichSoundsWeird
#JustHavingSnacksWithUsAndAPicnicBlanketAndToysInCaseTheWeatherIsSurprisinglyGood
#ItFeltWeirdToPackABagForBYesterdayWithAnythingSheMightNeedLikeNappiesAndAChangeOfClothes
#WeHaveNotReallyBeenOutFarOrLongEnoughForItToBeNecessary
#SometimesICatchMyselfAlreadyDreadingNextWinterButFingersCrossedWeWillNotHaveToGoThroughAllThatAgain

#TheLastFewDaysHaveFeltLikeHowTheLast10MonthsShouldHaveBeen

I can not believe that she is 10 months old. I say this every month and I will probably never stop saying it.

#MeetingUpWithFriendsAndTheirKidsAndBumpingIntoABabyFriendInTheParkAndGoingToAClass

Normal things that people used to do on the regular!

#SheGotMudOnHerSuitForTheFirstTimeInTheParkAsSheCrawledAboutWithABaby

I did feel proud. It took her a while to get the hang of crawling in it and then she was off.

#SheLikesToTryToEatEverythingAndIAmTryingToBeOkayWithLettingHerEatSomeDirt

Especially with not really seeing anyone as she hasn’t been to exposed to as many bugs as babies usually are.

#IHadToGetATwigOutOfHerMouthAndThenIThoughtSheWasTryingToEatAnotherOne

At first I was just being a bit too casual about it, but then I thought I should get it out of her mouth. I thought she’d swallowed it but she’d done a good job of hiding it.

#HoweverItWasACigaretteButtWhichIsObviouslyNotGreat

She turned her head and wouldn’t let me get it out. Grim.

#IMadeAJokeAboutItBeingTooEarlyForHerToStartAndThenICringed

‘It’s too early for you to start. Well, I hope you never start.’ *cringe*

#MySocialSkillsAreReallyTerribleButIAmNoLongerGoingToBeatMyselfUpForIt

I just need to try to work on my social skills. Need to stop having verbal diarrhoea. Need to learn how to spell diarrhoea right enough that spellcheck even knows what word I’m looking for. Need to just listen to people.

#IfPeopleLikeMeThenTheyLikeMeAndIfTheyDoNotThenIAmNotGoingToDwellOnIt

Oh, I’ll probably keep dwelling on it but it’s a waste of my energy. So here’s to trying!

#BJustLooksSoHappySeeingOtherBabiesAndYoungKidsThatIReallyHopeTheRulesDoNotGetStricterAgain

I’m getting a bit emotional. It’s so lovely to see her smiling at people and babies, even if they do try to put their fingers up her nose (babies not adults). I’m glad she doesn’t seem nervous or scared around others at the playground or in classes, though she does play shy sometimes.

#IPutBInAnOutfitForHerClassInsteadOfHerUsualOnesies

Outfit as in separate top and bottoms.

#ItWasProbablyOnlyTheThirdTimeThatSheHasBeenInAnOutfit

I think once for a baby class where I actually managed to find time to change her beforehand, once for pictures for my Dad (both before Xmas) and this class.

#TAndIBothThoughtThatSheDidNotLookLikeOurBaby

Outfits are annoying. I love onesies – they make it so easy to change her nappy and apply cream. After Tiago had changed her for bed we were like ‘yes that’s our baby!’

#IPlannedToGetThereEarlyButOfCourseIEndedUpRunningUpAHillWithAPushchair

Kate Bush’s Running Up That Hill keeps coming to mind, though I don’t think the song is actually about being late for baby classes. The class is not long after B’s lunchtime so I need to be more on it next week!

#BJustLovedLookingAroundAtEveryoneAndSmilingAtAllTheBabies

All the heart emojis. I think she enjoyed seeing people more than doing the class, though it was probably the same for me too.

B was generally sat facing everyone but occasionally she’d look back at me and my masked face. I think as she is older she recognises me more in it now.

#OfCourseSheDidNotWantToStayOnTheMatAndIHadToKeepGrabbingHerBack

In non-Covid times it would not be such an issue. Le sigh. I was joking that she hadn’t been trained for classes. *cringe*

#TheLastTimeSheWasAtThatClassSheWasATotallyDifferentBaby

She really didn’t do much, though it feels like a lifetime ago.

#IDoFeelLikeWeHaveMissedOutOnALotButIJustWantToMakeSureWeHaveAReallyGreatSummerNow

Everyone has obviously missed out on so much. These months waiting for classes to resume have been hard, but our big countdown is finally over.

#AtTheEndSheWasWavingAtEveryoneWithBothHandsAndTheWholeClassWentAww

We were singing a goodbye song and she was double waving.

#IDidFeelProud

It was cute. Again I’m getting emotional. I was so worried about the class and though she kept squirming away it was good.

#ISatUsInTheShadeToGiveBHerMilkAndOfCourseTheSunWentAwayStraightAway

We sat in a really awkward place as only awkward spots tend to have shade.

#ItWasTheFirstTimeIHadFedHerFormulaInThePark

Milestone. I am looking forward to her no longer having it in a couple of months though as it’s one less thing to think about, though I guess it will need to be replaced with something else.

#ItTookHerAWhileToFallAsleepInHerPushchairButSheEventuallyDid

I made the mistake of doing a lap around the park, I should have just walked towards home where the paving slabs are more uneven as I think it helps send her to sleep. It was weird noticing the surface of the paths again as I haven’t thought about it for a while – I don’t remember the last time B had a nap in her pushchair, possibly it was after the same class last year!

#AfterMonthsOfHavingAQuiteStrictScheduleIAmTryingToBeChillAboutAdaptingAndBeingFlexible

I haven’t had much to break/get in the way of her routine, so it’s quite sad that I see it as a challenge.

#TheOtherDayIGaveHerSomeLunchInTheParkWhichWasTheFirstTimeIHadDoneThatToo

I didn’t know if we’d be out long enough, but we were. She didn’t sleep well that night so I worried maybe it was due to that, but she had good meals yesterday and she woke up a couple of times. I think it’s probably because she’s teething?

#IAmTryingToBePreparedForSpontaneousMomentsWhichSoundsWeird

Just being prepared for staying out later or the weather suddenly improving, things like that.

#JustHavingSnacksWithUsAndAPicnicBlanketAndToysInCaseTheWeatherIsSurprisinglyGood

Being prepared for anything the day might throw at us. Well, to an extent. We’re never that far from home so we don’t need too much. Maybe later in the summer we can really go wild!

#ItFeltWeirdToPackABagForBYesterdayWithAnythingSheMightNeedLikeNappiesAndAChangeOfClothes

So weird. I was wondering why my back was aching a bit yesterday and it probably was from running up a hill while pushing a pushchair and having a backpack on. Again, wild!

#WeHaveNotReallyBeenOutFarOrLongEnoughForItToBeNecessary

I am scared of longer and further journeys but we can do it – if things have good timings. We will adapt I’m sure.

#SometimesICatchMyselfAlreadyDreadingNextWinterButFingersCrossedWeWillNotHaveToGoThroughAllThatAgain

I need to enjoy Spring and Summer, and even Autumn can be nice, before I get worried about Winter again. Hopefully there will be playgroups and things. Maybe I’ll have a job where B can be in nursery a bit. We’ll have to see.


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Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Imitating B’s Feet When She Holds Onto Furniture (11th April 2021)

Imitating B’s Feet When She Holds Onto Furniture (11th April 2021)

#IHaveSaidBeforeThatBIsAlwaysOnTheGoAndBangsHerHeadALot
#WellNowItIsEvenMoreSoThatMaybeWeShouldGetHerAHelmet
#ItIsWeirdThatWhenSheFallsAndMakesABigBangSheSeemsToCryLessThanWhenItBarelyMakesASound
#SheSeemsAbleToReachHerArmsFurtherAcrossTablesAndThingsNow
#SheLikesToReachForMyNansPapersAndChewOnThemOrRipThemUp
#WeHadToMoveNansOrnamentsOffHerRevolvingBookcaseAsBWasJustConstantlyTryingToPullThingsOff
#WeHaveReplacedThemWithBsBooksSoNowSheGetsDistractedByThemInstead
#ItIsNiceToHaveALittleLibraryThereThoughIAmGettingBoredOfReadingHerFavouritesOnRepeat
#SinceMyLastEntryIFeltMoreOptimisticAndLikeIWasGoingToStopWhiningAndBeMoreProactive
#WhichWasGreatForADayAndThenIFeltSuperDownAgain
#IMadeAPostInALocalGroupLookingForPlaymatesForBAndAskingAboutClassesAndThings
#ThePandemicHasBeenToughForEveryoneInDifferentWays
#AndIThinkItHasBeenATotalPostcodeLotteryWithWhatHasBeenGoingOnInLocalAreas
#TheGlimpseOfGoodWeatherMadeMeFeelGreatAsSittingOutsideMadeSuchAChangeToOurDay
#SoTheBadWeatherMadeMeFeelLockedInsideAgain
#YesterdayWeWentForAWalkInTheRainAsIFeltLikeINeededToGetOut
#HopefullyThingsCanOnlyGetBetterFromHereWithMoreThingsReopeningAndBetterWeatherOnTheHorizon
#IAmSureThatIWillSoonBeWhiningAboutHowIFeelLikeIDoNotFitInInLocalGroups
#ButTheChangeOfSceneryAndBreakInOurRoutinesWillBeReallyGoodForUs
#OrMeAnywaysAsBDoesNotReallyCareButIThinkSheWillLikeToSeeMoreYoungPeople
#IHaveMadeAnEffortToTryOutNewParksThisWeek
#TheOtherDayBWasSmilingAtAYoungGirlSoThatWasNice
#IThinkBMightHaveSeenATrainForTheFirstTimeTooWhichIsWeird
#SheDidNotSeemThatBotheredByItButSheDoesTakeNoteOfBusesThatIPointOut
#BIsStillTeethingALot
#ItHurtsWhenSheWantsToTeethOnMyFingerAndBitesItWithHerTooth
#ItStillLooksLikeItNeedsToComeOutOfHerGumsMore
#WeStartedToUseANewMoisturiserOnBsSkinAndItDoesNotSeemToBeGettingAnyWorse
#IFeelLikeIAmDefinitelyNotBeingTheBestMotherForBThatICouldBe
#INeedToJustDoBetterAndKeepTryingToMoveInAPositiveDirectionAndDoWhatIsBestForHer

#IHaveSaidBeforeThatBIsAlwaysOnTheGoAndBangsHerHeadALot

I am pretty sure I have anyways.

#WellNowItIsEvenMoreSoThatMaybeWeShouldGetHerAHelmet

We won’t. We just need to be more vigilant, but it’s hard to be on top form all day…

#ItIsWeirdThatWhenSheFallsAndMakesABigBangSheSeemsToCryLessThanWhenItBarelyMakesASound

Not always the case, but it happens enough for us to comment on it (and for me to hashtag about it).

#SheSeemsAbleToReachHerArmsFurtherAcrossTablesAndThingsNow

Probably with the help of always standing on her tiptoes, but she seemed to be doing that before she really knew what she was doing.

#SheLikesToReachForMyNansPapersAndChewOnThemOrRipThemUp

My Nan doesn’t really take them off her, so I can’t really blame B too much.

She has an obsession with grabbing my Nan’s heater (when it’s not on – it’s not on if she’s in the room). I tell her not to do it all the time. The other day she was just laughing at me for saying no.

#WeHadToMoveNansOrnamentsOffHerRevolvingBookcaseAsBWasJustConstantlyTryingToPullThingsOff

I feel like everything in the living room is constantly being moved around to avoid B’s grasp. My Nan likes to rearrange everything, but then B likes to get hold of them so it’s a constant game. Baby chess?

#WeHaveReplacedThemWithBsBooksSoNowSheGetsDistractedByThemInstead

Well it is a bookcase so it makes sense. I was worried B would just pull herself up on it and pull them off, but that doesn’t seem to be the case… yet.

#ItIsNiceToHaveALittleLibraryThereThoughIAmGettingBoredOfReadingHerFavouritesOnRepeat

The House That Jack Built, The Very Hungry Caterpillar, some new book about dinosaurs that feels very nice to touch but the story isn’t great… Her bedtime books are Peppa Pig’s My Daddy and Goodnight You, Goodnight Me.

#SinceMyLastEntryIFeltMoreOptimisticAndLikeIWasGoingToStopWhiningAndBeMoreProactive #WhichWasGreatForADayAndThenIFeltSuperDownAgain

I had a day where I felt amazing, and then crashhh.

(I don’t write these things for pity. I know I am not the only person who feels like this, so I hope by talking about things it might help someone else. I still have a befriender who calls me about my mental health. I thought about quitting, but my reasons for wanting to quit were the reasons why I needed to stay – mainly feeling stressed out and like I didn’t have time for it.)

#IMadeAPostInALocalGroupLookingForPlaymatesForBAndAskingAboutClassesAndThings

The thought got in my head so I thought I better do it. I spent ages daydreaming about what I would write while B was awake, then when she went to sleep I thought ‘no I shouldn’t do it’. But because I had spent so much time thinking about it I thought I had better do it.

People sent good suggestions, and a few people got in touch about hanging out. We’ll see if it happens though. I realised that I know more people around here than I think I do, so I’ve reached out to people to see if they want to hang out soon. That’s a positive at least.

#ThePandemicHasBeenToughForEveryoneInDifferentWays

I whine, but I know things have been a lot worse for other people. It’s been hard for us all in different ways.

#AndIThinkItHasBeenATotalPostcodeLotteryWithWhatHasBeenGoingOnInLocalAreas

Still jealous that friends have been going to playgroups/support groups/outside groups in other areas. I really should just organise my own group…

(3rd May: I’ve been throwing this ‘postcode lottery’ phrase around a lot this week as in Liverpool the health visitor’s are starting to do 10 month checks on babies in person, whereas they will not be coming to us – the Birmingham health visitor that is – so I just have to fill in a questionnaire.)

#TheGlimpseOfGoodWeatherMadeMeFeelGreatAsSittingOutsideMadeSuchAChangeToOurDay

It felt so good to sit outside with B and some toys. A bit of sun, a bit of fun and less distractions.

#SoTheBadWeatherMadeMeFeelLockedInsideAgain

This morning it was snowing/raining and I thought we would have to cancel plans with friends. I felt bummed out. Luckily it’s now sunny so we can meet them, hurrah!

#YesterdayWeWentForAWalkInTheRainAsIFeltLikeINeededToGetOut

We kept waiting for the rain to stop, but it didn’t so I made us go out. We took an umbrella, but in the end we didn’t even use it as it was only drizzling.

#HopefullyThingsCanOnlyGetBetterFromHereWithMoreThingsReopeningAndBetterWeatherOnTheHorizon

It has nearly been 4 months since we last went to a class in person. Typically with the walks that we don’t go on due to the timings not being great – one is moving to a better time for us later this month, so that should be good (if we can book a slot quick enough).

#IAmSureThatIWillSoonBeWhiningAboutHowIFeelLikeIDoNotFitInInLocalGroups

Watch this space.

#ButTheChangeOfSceneryAndBreakInOurRoutinesWillBeReallyGoodForUs

I think so. It will be good for B. Doing one of our classes on zoom has meant I have got to know one of the teachers fairly well (especially when B was the only person taking part the other week) and we might recognise some of the other Mums and babies.

#OrMeAnywaysAsBDoesNotReallyCareButIThinkSheWillLikeToSeeMoreYoungPeople

It will be good for her. It’s good for her to see that more people exist in the world. I just want to see her crawling round with other babies as she’s yet to do that!

#IHaveMadeAnEffortToTryOutNewParksThisWeek

Well, one we have been to before but the other one has been on our list for a while.

#TheOtherDayBWasSmilingAtAYoungGirlSoThatWasNice

I do not know how to interact with little kids. I’m not sure how she felt about B just staring at her.

#IThinkBMightHaveSeenATrainForTheFirstTimeTooWhichIsWeird

I do like seeing trains pass by (yeah weird I know), so we will be going by there again.

#SheDidNotSeemThatBotheredByItButSheDoesTakeNoteOfBusesThatIPointOut

I should have made a train noise perhaps. It may have gone by too fast for her to really register it.

#BIsStillTeethingALot

The neverending joy.

#ItHurtsWhenSheWantsToTeethOnMyFingerAndBitesItWithHerTooth

She finds it funny when I go ‘argh!’

#ItStillLooksLikeItNeedsToComeOutOfHerGumsMore

I think so? It looks like it should be bigger than how it is, but maybe it is how it should be? I don’t know.

#WeStartedToUseANewMoisturiserOnBsSkinAndItDoesNotSeemToBeGettingAnyWorse

It’s this one from Childs Farm. Someone on a local Mums whatsapp group mentioned it, so I thought we’d give it a go. We’re still using the Dermol 500 and Diprobase, and applying them regularly, but now I also put the moisturiser on her once or twice a day too. The fact that her skin doesn’t seem to be getting worse is good. I’d say her skin looks about 98% normal right now.

#IFeelLikeIAmDefinitelyNotBeingTheBestMotherForBThatICouldBe

I’m tired. I do not read to her as much as I should, I’ve given up with her YouTube baby classes, I probably do not talk to her as much as I should and the list goes on.

#INeedToJustDoBetterAndKeepTryingToMoveInAPositiveDirectionAndDoWhatIsBestForHer

I need to be better and do better for B. The other day I took her out twice even though the weather wasn’t good, so I might just take her out more. That’s why I want the better weather to come so we can just sit outside more, and maybe I can start giving her lunch in the park and we can just enjoy nature more.

We’ll see.


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Categories
Oh Me, Oh Mãe

I Need To Stop Whining And Get Over Myself (7th April 2021)

I Need To Stop Whining And Get Over Myself (7th April 2021)
 
#AfterIHadWrittenMyHashtagsAndDoneMyShootTheOtherDayBSuddenlyStartedToBabbleLoads
#SheSaysDadaQuiteClearlyThoughWeNeverReallySaidItToHerBeforeAsWeCallTiagoHerPaiMoreThanHerDad
#ItIsObviouslyJustASoundThatBabiesCanMakeQuiteEasily
#TiagoWasTellingBThatIAmHerBigDadaAndThatHeIsTheLittleDada
#SheHasPhasesWhereSheBabblesLoadsAndThenSheWillNotSayAnythingForAWhile
#WeAreStillGettingUsedToHearingHerBabblingButItIsReallyCute
#ICanStillNotImagineHavingProperConversationsWithHerOneDay
#ButItIsLikeSheHasAlwaysBeenCrawlingNowSoIAmSureItWillBecomeNormalFast
#WeHadSomeTiramisuAtTheWeekendAndIFeltQuiteTipsyAfterwardsAsIHaveNotHadADrinkForAWhile
#SometimesIThinkAboutHavingADrinkButThenIUsuallyHaveLotsOfStuffToDoSoIDoNotBother
#IAmStillFeelingABitWeirdAboutHavingQuitMyJob
#IDoNotLikeToQuitThingsButIThinkItWasTheRightDecision
#IWasSoTiredOnMondayThatIDoNotSeeHowIWouldHaveManagedToDoAShiftAnyways
#MyBossCameToPickUpMyThingsYesterdayAndIDidNotEvenSeeHimSinceHeSaidICouldJustLeaveItByTheFrontDoor
#IFeltSoRubbishAtTheJobAsIWasSoAnxiousAboutKnockingOnPeoplesDoors
#ItHasAffectedMyConfidenceABitButHopefullyIWillGetOverItAllSoon
#IDefinitelyFeltABitRunDownPerhapsAsMyBodyWasLikeOkayYouCanRelaxNowThatThatIsOver
#IHadSomeCovidTestsLeftOverFromMyJobSoITookOneJustInCaseButItWasNegative
#IDoNotFindThemThatUncomfortableThoughTheyDoMakeMeGagAndSneeze
#BHasABabyClassNextWeekWhichIAmExcitedForButAlsoAnxiousAbout
#IAmWorriedAboutHowSheWillReactToItAllButIAmSureSheWillBeFine
#MyYoungerSisterCameToVisitUsAndBCriedAtHerForAWhile
#ByTheTimeSheLeftThoughBWasABitObsessedWithHerSoItJustShowsThatSheNeedsALittleTimeToAdapt
#IAmMostWorriedAboutBTryingToCrawlAwayWhenWeProbablyNeedToStayFirmlyOnOurMat
#ButIAmSureSheWillJustEnjoySittingAndLookingAtOtherPeople
#YesterdayOnTheSwingsSheWasJustStaringAtEveryoneAgain
#IFeelSoAwkwardAsObviouslyWeAreTaughtThatItIsNotPoliteToStare
#IAmSurePeopleDoNotMindAsTheyKnowSheIsJustABabyButStill
#SometimesItIsAGoodWayToMakeConversationButSometimesItDoesNotHappen
#IDidAShootWithBAndIThinkWeBothExperiencedEveryKindOfEmotionDuringIt

Well, this has never happened before – I managed to not post this and not realise this for two posts. Good work!

#AfterIHadWrittenMyHashtagsAndDoneMyShootTheOtherDayBSuddenlyStartedToBabbleLoads

I feel like she used to be quite ‘talkative’ when she was younger and then she went quieter. It was a bit of a shock to hear her babbling with quite clear sounds.

#SheSaysDadaQuiteClearlyThoughWeNeverReallySaidItToHerBeforeAsWeCallTiagoHerPaiMoreThanHerDad

Pai is Dad in Portuguese.

#ItIsObviouslyJustASoundThatBabiesCanMakeQuiteEasily

Maybe that’s where Dad came from?

‘Dada? That can be your name for me but it sounds a bit babyish so what about Dad?’

#TiagoWasTellingBThatIAmHerBigDadaAndThatHeIsTheLittleDada

Lol. I wonder when she will say Mama though.

#SheHasPhasesWhereSheBabblesLoadsAndThenSheWillNotSayAnythingForAWhile

She likes to babble to the stepladder in the kitchen, and last night she was talking to the bin a lot?

#WeAreStillGettingUsedToHearingHerBabblingButItIsReallyCute

I wonder what her voice will sound like when she’s older, and what accent she’ll have?

#ICanStillNotImagineHavingProperConversationsWithHerOneDay

It’s a weird thought, but I’m looking forward to it. It’s weird spending so much of my time with someone who doesn’t talk back to me…

#ButItIsLikeSheHasAlwaysBeenCrawlingNowSoIAmSureItWillBecomeNormalFast

It’s probably only been a month and a half? I can’t even remember now. It’s like she’s always done it.

#WeHadSomeTiramisuAtTheWeekendAndIFeltQuiteTipsyAfterwardsAsIHaveNotHadADrinkForAWhile

Absolute lightweight.

#SometimesIThinkAboutHavingADrinkButThenIUsuallyHaveLotsOfStuffToDoSoIDoNotBother

I didn’t have time for after effects of alcohol before having a baby, and I definitely do not have time for it now.

#IAmStillFeelingABitWeirdAboutHavingQuitMyJob

Ergh.

#IDoNotLikeToQuitThingsButIThinkItWasTheRightDecision

Oh definitely.

#IWasSoTiredOnMondayThatIDoNotSeeHowIWouldHaveManagedToDoAShiftAnyways

I guess I would have just got on with it, but my body felt so heavy then and it feels heavy now.

#MyBossCameToPickUpMyThingsYesterdayAndIDidNotEvenSeeHimSinceHeSaidICouldJustLeaveItByTheFrontDoor

I put it out early as I knew I had to get B ready for a nap around the time he said he’d drop by. I checked a couple of minutes later before I had even started to get B ready and it was already gone.

I was worried it had been stolen, but he never rang/texted/knocked so I’m sure it’s fine.

#IFeltSoRubbishAtTheJobAsIWasSoAnxiousAboutKnockingOnPeoplesDoors

It’s not great when you’re balancing everything to do a job that you feel so rubbish at and anxious about.

#ItHasAffectedMyConfidenceABitButHopefullyIWillGetOverItAllSoon

I need to focus and get over myself as I need to find other work now. Why do I have to be so awkward?

#IDefinitelyFeltABitRunDownPerhapsAsMyBodyWasLikeOkayYouCanRelaxNowThatThatIsOver

Yesterday I just napped/rested when B did.

#IHadSomeCovidTestsLeftOverFromMyJobSoITookOneJustInCaseButItWasNegative

I just felt a bit unwell, but I think it’s just how I feel in the morning when I get up sometimes. I took the test just in case, and I soon felt better anyways.

#IDoNotFindThemThatUncomfortableThoughTheyDoMakeMeGagAndSneeze

Fun times. I think soon everyone in the UK will be able to do tests twice a week, so maybe I’ll get used to them and they won’t take so long due to all the sneezing. It’s like sticking a little duster up my nose…

#BHasABabyClassNextWeekWhichIAmExcitedForButAlsoAnxiousAbout

I CAN NOT BELIEVE THAT IT IS NEARLY TIME TO GO.

#IAmWorriedAboutHowSheWillReactToItAllButIAmSureSheWillBeFine

It has been 4ish months since her last in person class.

#MyYoungerSisterCameToVisitUsAndBCriedAtHerForAWhile

‘Who is this strange woman in my territory?’

#ByTheTimeSheLeftThoughBWasABitObsessedWithHerSoItJustShowsThatSheNeedsALittleTimeToAdapt

I was really surprised that she cried as we do see her for walks from time to time, but I guess it has been a few weeks since we last saw her.

#IAmMostWorriedAboutBTryingToCrawlAwayWhenWeProbablyNeedToStayFirmlyOnOurMat

I’m sure she won’t be the only little escape artist. It’s going to be weird, but hopefully fun. I need to pack a going out bag for B. I haven’t had to do that for a long time…

#ButIAmSureSheWillJustEnjoySittingAndLookingAtOtherPeople

I am hoping she loves seeing lots of people her own age.

#YesterdayOnTheSwingsSheWasJustStaringAtEveryoneAgain

I’ve probably talked about it before; she does just stare at everyone at the playground.

#IFeelSoAwkwardAsObviouslyWeAreTaughtThatItIsNotPoliteToStare #IAmSurePeopleDoNotMindAsTheyKnowSheIsJustABabyButStill

Some people react well, some people are a little awkward. I don’t blame them.

#SometimesItIsAGoodWayToMakeConversationButSometimesItDoesNotHappen

‘Yes B, there are other people in the world.’ ‘Sorry, she’s not used to seeing other people.’ ‘Yeah, she’s a proper lockdown baby.’

#IDidAShootWithBAndIThinkWeBothExperiencedEveryKindOfEmotionDuringIt

Happy, sad, annoyed, frustrated – you name it we both went there.


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