Categories
Pregnancy Waiting II

Portrait Of A Mother Of A Nineteen Month Old (37 Weeks / 14th January 2022)

Self-portrait where I am sitting down in a black bra and pants. I have my hands on my hand and my elbows are touching. My bump looks very round.
Portrait Of A Mother Of A Nineteen Month Old (37 Weeks / 14th January 2022)
 
#WellTheNightBeforeMyScanBWasAwakeFromOneToFive
#IHadFallenAsleepAroundElevenThirtySoItWasALongNight
#TiagoHadStayedUpLateWorkingAndHadANapDownstairsBeforeLeavingAtFourThirty
#JustBeforeTiagoLeftIMovedBToOurBedAndSheSeemedToFallAsleepButThenWouldSuddenlyWakeUpCrying
#SoAtFiveIMovedHerBackToHerBedAndSheSleptUntilEightWhenIWokeHerUp
#LuckilyMyMumWasComingRoundSoIHadALieDownInTheMorningThenSleptForAnHourWhenBDid
#IWasStressedAsIfIHadGoneIntoLabourIWouldHaveNotHadMuchEnergy
#TiagoWasSetToGetBackInTimeForTheAppointmentButThenThereWasACrashOnTheMotorway
#LuckilyMyMumHadHungAroundSoSheDroppedMeOffAndTookBToTheSupermarketWhileIWasInThere
#IWasWearingAWhiteClothMaskAndThePeopleAtTheDoorAskedMeToPutAStandardBlueMaskOn
#ICouldNotSeeAnyoneAtReceptionSoIWentToWhereIThoughtTheAppointmentWasAndPanickedThatIHadGoneToTheWrongPlaceWhenTheySaidIDidNotHaveOneThere
#LuckilyIJustHadToGoToADifferentDepartmentAndSatAloneInARoomFullOfCouples
#TheySaidTheyWereRunningLateButIGotCalledInAboutFourMinutesAfterMyAppointmentTime
#TheSonographerWasNiceAndAfterAQuickLookSheSaidThatBabyXWasHeadDownAndNotBackToBack
#IHadFeltLikeTheyHadBeenQuiteActiveSinceMyMidwifeAppointmentSoMaybeTheyDidTurnOrMaybeTheyWereNeverBreech
#AlreadyTheBabyHasBeenVeryActiveThatIAmWorriedThatTheyMayBeBackToBackOrSomething
#ThenSheDidMeasurementsAndSaidThatTheBabyIsEstimatedToBeIThinkSheSaid7Pounds6
#BWas6Pounds4WhenSheWasBornAndTheBabyHadBeenMeasuringBigger
#ShePlottedItOnMyGrowthChartAndSaidThatYouHaveToIgnoreTheTapeMeasureEstimatesButItLooksLikeTheBabyIsGrowing
#IHaveAnotherScanScheduledForTwoWeeksTimeIfTheBabyHasNotBeenBornYetSoSheWasObviouslyNotTooConcerned
#AsIHaveBeenSoScepticalAboutWhetherOrNotIAmActuallyHavingAGirlIAskedIfSheCouldCheck
#SheSaidItLooksLikeAGirlToHerButCanNotSayFor100PercentSureIGuessAsTheyHaveToCoverTheirBacks
#IThinkAtThisPointItWouldBeQuiteObviousIfItWasABoySoIShouldStopCallingHerIt
#WaitingForMyMumOutsideItWasABitSurrealWatchingLotsOfDadsArrivingWithCarSeatsOrCouplesLeavingTheHospitalWithBabies
#IKnowIAmHavingABabySoonButIStillFindItHardToGetMyHeadAroundIt
#IAmGettingALotMoreCrampsTheseDaysAndTheBabyCouldBeHereAnyDayNowReally
#INeedToJustGetAsMuchRestAsICanToMakeSureIFeelGoodForLabour
#ButIAlsoJustWantToDoAsMuchAsICanBeforeTheBabyComesAsIKnowThereWillBeLessTimeForMeForAWhile
#BIsGettingMoreIndependentNowSoItWillBeWeirdHavingASmallHumanWhoIsSoDependentOnMeAgain
#LikeIKeepSayingIJustNeedToSurrenderMyselfToMotherhoodAndDoMyBestForMyKids

#WellTheNightBeforeMyScanBWasAwakeFromOneToFive #IHadFallenAsleepAroundElevenThirtySoItWasALongNight

I definitely got frustrated, but had started reading a parenting book while waiting to see if she had fallen asleep, so tried to remain calm.

#TiagoHadStayedUpLateWorkingAndHadANapDownstairsBeforeLeavingAtFourThirty

I had stayed up late waiting for him, though I had said he should sleep downstairs if he wanted. I turned the light off and tried to sleep, but then he came upstairs to sort his clothes out.

#JustBeforeTiagoLeftIMovedBToOurBedAndSheSeemedToFallAsleepButThenWouldSuddenlyWakeUpCrying

I’d given her paracetamol, water, changed her nappy etc. I’m still not sure what the problem was.

I drifted in and out of sleep, while giving her some mimos (Portuguese for affection) – like rubbing her arm and drawing circles in her hand. I’d stop and she’d cry.

#SoAtFiveIMovedHerBackToHerBedAndSheSleptUntilEightWhenIWokeHerUp

I had had an alarm set for 7, which I turned off and woke up at 7.40.

#LuckilyMyMumWasComingRoundSoIHadALieDownInTheMorningThenSleptForAnHourWhenBDid

Tiago told me later he texted my Mum at 4 in the morning to say I hadn’t slept much and to tell me to have a lie down in case I didn’t ask. I tried to sleep, but found it hard. B looked tired all morning and I had to wake her up from her nap.

#IWasStressedAsIfIHadGoneIntoLabourIWouldHaveNotHadMuchEnergy

I guess my body would have woken me up more, but I want to be as rested as possible for the ‘event’.

#TiagoWasSetToGetBackInTimeForTheAppointmentButThenThereWasACrashOnTheMotorway

Typical.

#LuckilyMyMumHadHungAroundSoSheDroppedMeOffAndTookBToTheSupermarketWhileIWasInThere

I was surprised that she was hanging around, but it made for sense for her to do that then go home and potentially come back. She was getting ready to leave, but I said could she hang on for another half an hour just in case as by that point she would have had to turn around by the time she got home. Luckily she did. The roads were quite icy too and as he hadn’t slept much I didn’t want him to be rushing home.

#IWasWearingAWhiteClothMaskAndThePeopleAtTheDoorAskedMeToPutAStandardBlueMaskOn

Fair enough.

#ICouldNotSeeAnyoneAtReceptionSoIWentToWhereIThoughtTheAppointmentWasAndPanickedThatIHadGoneToTheWrongPlaceWhenTheySaidIDidNotHaveOneThere

The midwife did not tell me where it was, but she had given me a phone number so I searched online and saw it was at a hospital.

#LuckilyIJustHadToGoToADifferentDepartmentAndSatAloneInARoomFullOfCouples

Phew. I read an article about The Lost Girls of Covid.

#TheySaidTheyWereRunningLateButIGotCalledInAboutFourMinutesAfterMyAppointmentTime

So not late at all really.

#TheSonographerWasNiceAndAfterAQuickLookSheSaidThatBabyXWasHeadDownAndNotBackToBack

I was a bit too annoyingly chatty I think. I don’t get out much…

#IHadFeltLikeTheyHadBeenQuiteActiveSinceMyMidwifeAppointmentSoMaybeTheyDidTurnOrMaybeTheyWereNeverBreech

The sonographer commented on how active this baby is.

#AlreadyTheBabyHasBeenVeryActiveThatIAmWorriedThatTheyMayBeBackToBackOrSomething

We’ll just have to wait and see. The sonographer said as I’ve had a breech baby before I probably won’t need to argue my case so much, and that if I’ve had a breech baby before then I can handle a back to back baby. I just need to stay calm.

#ThenSheDidMeasurementsAndSaidThatTheBabyIsEstimatedToBeIThinkSheSaid7Pounds6 #BWas6Pounds4WhenSheWasBornAndTheBabyHadBeenMeasuringBigger

B was born before 38 weeks.

#ShePlottedItOnMyGrowthChartAndSaidThatYouHaveToIgnoreTheTapeMeasureEstimatesButItLooksLikeTheBabyIsGrowing

Hurrah. I wasn’t too worried as a lot of friends have told me they had growth scans and everything looked fine.

#IHaveAnotherScanScheduledForTwoWeeksTimeIfTheBabyHasNotBeenBornYetSoSheWasObviouslyNotTooConcerned

Yeah, it’s not like she was like I think this baby should come out ASAP. Cool.

#AsIHaveBeenSoScepticalAboutWhetherOrNotIAmActuallyHavingAGirlIAskedIfSheCouldCheck

She did the usual ‘it’s not always guaranteed that we can see’ etc and I said I know, but if you can then that’d be nice.

#SheSaidItLooksLikeAGirlToHerButCanNotSayFor100PercentSureIGuessAsTheyHaveToCoverTheirBacks #IThinkAtThisPointItWouldBeQuiteObviousIfItWasABoySoIShouldStopCallingHerIt

She did say it’s a girl while pointing her mouse to and naming the labia, so yeah I doubt it is a boy.

#WaitingForMyMumOutsideItWasABitSurrealWatchingLotsOfDadsArrivingWithCarSeatsOrCouplesLeavingTheHospitalWithBabies

It could be us any day now.

#IKnowIAmHavingABabySoonButIStillFindItHardToGetMyHeadAroundIt

It’s just weird. I’ve obviously gone through all of this once before, but still I find it bizarre.

#IAmGettingALotMoreCrampsTheseDaysAndTheBabyCouldBeHereAnyDayNowReally

B’s arrival really surprised me (in terms of I hadn’t noticed any warning signs), so I just read into anything and everything now.

#INeedToJustGetAsMuchRestAsICanToMakeSureIFeelGoodForLabour

I’m going to have a lie down before I do the shoot.

#ButIAlsoJustWantToDoAsMuchAsICanBeforeTheBabyComesAsIKnowThereWillBeLessTimeForMeForAWhile

I want to take more pictures in the style of my Máscara project.

#BIsGettingMoreIndependentNowSoItWillBeWeirdHavingASmallHumanWhoIsSoDependentOnMeAgain

I was saying to Tiago that maybe I am just saying this as I am pregnant, but if I was not pregnant would I want to be trying to get pregnant now with B being more independent? I got pregnant while she was still pretty dependent. I guess I would. I just want to get the baby phase over and done with.

#LikeIKeepSayingIJustNeedToSurrenderMyselfToMotherhoodAndDoMyBestForMyKids

B going to nursery is definitely going to make a big difference, and I’m lucky that we are in the position to send her.

37 weeks pregnant with B comparison:

(This is actually the last photo that I took of myself pregnant for the project.)

Full-length self-portrait. I am slightly silhouetted against white blinds. My right arm is raised above my head and my right hand is behind my head.
Time Is Running Out (37 and a half weeks)
 
#IWasDoingMyMorningExerciseWhenICaughtMyReflectionInTheKitchenSplashBackWall
#IThoughtItWouldBeNiceToDoAMoreSilhouettedPhotoOfMyselfAndBumpAgainstTheBlinds
#SoThatIsWhatIDidThisEvening
#YesterdayEveningWeWentForAWalk
#IDidNotHaveAnyPainsOrDiscomfortAndIFeltLikeICouldWalkFasterThanNormal
#IJustDidTheWashingUpNowAndIGotSomeExtremeCrampsInTheTopOfMyLeftLeg
#AndNowTheBabyHasHiccupsWhichAlwaysMakesMeFeelUncomfortable
#TheyDoNotHurtButIJustDoNotLikeTheFeelingOfThem
#EspeciallyAsTheBabyIsHeadDownSoItJustFeelsWeird
#ItWouldNotBeSoBadIfTheyWereAtTheTopOfTheBump
#AFewDaysAgoIDecidedThatIWouldLikeToTakeSomePicturesInTheStyleOfMyMáscaraProject
#IThoughtIHadTheMakeupHereButApparentlyIDoNot
#MyMumFoundMyBagOfItAsWeHaveStillHaveSomeStuffAtFamilyHousesAndPutItInThePostToday
#SoHopefullyIGetItInTheNextCoupleOfDays
#AsTimeIsRunningOut
#MyHospitalPantsTurnedUpToday
#TheySaidTheyHadBeenDeliveredYesterdaySoIWasABitConcernedAsTheyWereNotHere
#AtTimesIKindOfForgetAboutThePandemic
#AndThenIRememberWhatIsGoingOn
#ItIsAllABitWeird
#IFeelLikeWeHaveAdaptedWellButIKnowWeArePrivileged
#ALotOfPeopleSeemToBeGoingBackToNormal
#ButIAmScared
#MeAndTiagoHaveALittleBitOfACold
#ButTheWeatherKeepsChangingAndIWasIllQuiteALotAtTheStartOfThePregnancy
#IHaveNotReallyBeenIllAtAllSinceLockdown
#SoIThinkItIsJustUsFeelingALittleRundown
#LastNightISleptThroughUntil5AMWhichHasNotHappenedInALongTime
#MaybeDoingALotOfKegelsYesterdayHelped
#AsWellAsHavingAGoodStretchingSessionAndNotSleepingMuchTheNightBefore

I would have liked to have remade this photo, but this was when we lived in Liverpool, and we now live in Birmingham.

Maybe there were warning signs – like cramps in the top of my left leg. When I was having surges with B my legs would cramp up.

Last night the baby had hiccups and I was trying to work out if they were head down or not.

My sent my makeup to make Máscara like images. They arrived the day before B was born and luckily it was my day off and I took photos. I only liked a couple of images. I did a shoot the other day and they seem a lot better.

Last night we went to bed at 9. T fell asleep straight away, whereas I probably fell asleep half an hour later. I woke up quite a lot of times, but eventually got up at 6.30 as B was awake.


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Categories
Pregnancy Waiting II

Apparently My Children Like To Be Breech At 37 Weeks (37 Weeks / 12th January 2022)

Self-portrait from my thighs to below my shoulders. I am wearing a black bra and black leggings. I am side on and pulling up the left side of the leggings with my right hand. My fist is over my bump and my bump is exposed.
Apparently My Children Like To Be Breech At 37 Weeks (37 Weeks / 12th January 2022)
 
#IDoNotKnowWhatPhotoWillAccompanyTheseHashtagsButMaybeSomethingPlayfulAsIMayNotHaveABumpForMuchLonger
#IWentToMyDelayed36WeekAppointmentAndTheFirstThingTheMidwifeSaidWasICheckedYourNotesAndSawThatYouHadABreechDeliveryWithYourFirst
#ISaidYesAndJokedAboutHowBabyXWasBackToBackAtMyLastAppointmentAndHowIHaveAwkwardChildren
#ThereWasAStudentMidwifeAgainAndTheyBothCheckedMyBloodPressureAsThereWasSomeProteinInMyUrineButTheyWereNotConcerned
#IHadToBreatheIntoACarbonMonoxideMachineAndMyResultsWereFine
#ThenTheyHadAFeelOfMyBumpAndTheMidwifeSaidThatTheBabySeemsToBeBreech
#IJustLaughedAndThenIStartedToDaydreamAboutAllThePossibleScenarios
#IThoughtTheBabyHadMovedAsItsBeenSuperActiveButIWasHopingItHadTurnedRoundFromBackToBack
#TheyBothMeasuredMyBumpAndGotACentimetreDifference
#TheBabyDoesNotSeemToHaveGrownMuchSinceMyLastAppointmentSoIWillGoForAScanWhichWillAlsoConfirmIfTheBabyIsBreech
#TheyBookedMeInForTheNextAvailableSlotWhichIsTypicallyOnTheDayThatTiagoHasToGoOutForWorkSoHopefullyHeWillBeHomeInTime
#HeWillDriveMeThereAndWatchBInTheCarAsICanNotTakeHerInWithMe
#IJustWantToHaveTheScanDoneAlreadyAndKnowWhatIsGoingOn
#IWasStartingToFeelRelaxedAboutTheBirthAgainButNowIFeelQuiteStressedOut
#IJustNeedToRelaxAndSeeWhatMyOptionsAre
#IWentThroughAllTheEmotionsOnMyWayHomeIncludingAnnoyedWhichIFeltBadFor
#IHaveBeenGaggingAfterBrushingMyTeethAgainLatelyWhichIsQuiteUnpleasant
#InBNewsIGotSomeUpdatesOnHerNurseryAppTodayWhichWereQuiteOldButSuddenlyCameThrough
#TheyTalkAboutTheThingsThatSheGetsUpToAndTheWordsSheSaysWhichAnswersMyPreviousQuestions
#ApparentlyDuringOneSessionSheWasSayingQuackQuackWhichSheHasNeverSaidToMeEvenWithAllMyEncouragement
#SheAlsoSaidStompRoarAndMunchMunchWhenPlayingWithDinosaurs
#IThenAskedHerWhatSoundADinosaurMakesAndSheSaidSomethingSimilarToRoar
#AndDuringAMusicSessionAtNurserySheSaidBaaBaaSheepWhichSurprisedMe
#IGuessAtNurserySheCopiesTheOtherKidsAndAdultsMoreAndIsMoreLikelyToSayThings
#ISingWindTheBobbinUpToHerLoadsAndSometimesSheWillDoAFewActionsWithMeAndSometimesSheDoesNone
#WeWerePlayingWithHerCowPuppetAndSheSuddenlySaidMoo
#ItIsJustFunnyAsTheOtherDayIWasSayingToAFriendThatIWishedThatBMadeAnimalNoisesAndApparentlySheDoes
#IHaveStartedToPlayHideAndSeekWithBWhereICountToFiveAndTryToFindHer
#NineOutOfTenTimesSheIsBehindTheKitchenDoorButIPretendICanNotFindHerForABit
#SheIsStillTeethingAndHasABitOfAColdButSheIsRunningAroundWithMoreEnergyTheseDays

#IDoNotKnowWhatPhotoWillAccompanyTheseHashtagsButMaybeSomethingPlayfulAsIMayNotHaveABumpForMuchLonger

I feel like I should experiment and try to do something a bit different, but I’m quite tired so we’ll have to see.

#IWentToMyDelayed36WeekAppointmentAndTheFirstThingTheMidwifeSaidWasICheckedYourNotesAndSawThatYouHadABreechDeliveryWithYourFirst

Correct. She was born less than a week from this point…

#ISaidYesAndJokedAboutHowBabyXWasBackToBackAtMyLastAppointmentAndHowIHaveAwkwardChildren

She said about sitting forward and not slouching to encourage the baby to turn round etc. I was slouching at the time.

#ThereWasAStudentMidwifeAgainAndTheyBothCheckedMyBloodPressureAsThereWasSomeProteinInMyUrineButTheyWereNotConcerned

The student midwife did it first, but the midwife just wanted to make sure it was correct as protein in your urine can be a sign of pre-eclampsia.

#IHadToBreatheIntoACarbonMonoxideMachineAndMyResultsWereFine

I couldn’t remember doing it before, but she said they always check at the start and towards the end of your pregnancy.

#ThenTheyHadAFeelOfMyBumpAndTheMidwifeSaidThatTheBabySeemsToBeBreech #IJustLaughedAndThenIStartedToDaydreamAboutAllThePossibleScenarios

My brain just stayed stuck on a breech baby for the rest of the appointment and I forgot to ask about hospital restrictions etc.

B wasn’t breech at her 36 week appointment, so I’m wondering if this appointment hadn’t been delayed would Baby X have been breech at the original appointment time? I’m thinking that they might not have been. I guess at least this time I am aware that the baby is breech at this point (though B was born at 37+5, and I believe she became breech the day before she was born).

#IThoughtTheBabyHadMovedAsItsBeenSuperActiveButIWasHopingItHadTurnedRoundFromBackToBack

She commented while she was checking the heartbeat about how active the baby is.

#TheyBothMeasuredMyBumpAndGotACentimetreDifference

I think last time the midwife and the student midwife got about a difference of about 4cm.

#TheBabyDoesNotSeemToHaveGrownMuchSinceMyLastAppointmentSoIWillGoForAScanWhichWillAlsoConfirmIfTheBabyIsBreech

She said not to be worried about the growth as it might just be down to having different midwives at every appointment, and everyone measures differently. With B I had the same midwife measuring me, except for one appointment when she thought someone else should see me in case she wasn’t able to be at B’s birth – spoiler: neither of them were at B’s birth.

#TheyBookedMeInForTheNextAvailableSlotWhichIsTypicallyOnTheDayThatTiagoHasToGoOutForWorkSoHopefullyHeWillBeHomeInTime

He rarely has to go out for work, but there we go.

#HeWillDriveMeThereAndWatchBInTheCarAsICanNotTakeHerInWithMe

If I could I would just get a taxi to the appointment if Tiago doesn’t get back in time, but that would be too easy. My Mum will have to come and take care of B if he is going to be late.

#IJustWantToHaveTheScanDoneAlreadyAndKnowWhatIsGoingOn #IWasStartingToFeelRelaxedAboutTheBirthAgainButNowIFeelQuiteStressedOut

I’ve gone from feeling stressed to relaxed and back again a lot lately. It’s too much. Now I’ve had a bit of time to process things I feel a bit more relaxed.

#IJustNeedToRelaxAndSeeWhatMyOptionsAre

I’m just worried if they turn the baby that it might turn back again, but it is what it is. I just want to try a water birth this time. I don’t feel like I can go through arguing my way out of a c-section again, but who knows how things will be on the day of the birth.

#IWentThroughAllTheEmotionsOnMyWayHomeIncludingAnnoyedWhichIFeltBadFor

It’s not the baby’s fault. I just felt irritated. I was sweating as I was leaving the appointment.

#IHaveBeenGaggingAfterBrushingMyTeethAgainLatelyWhichIsQuiteUnpleasant

I do not like it. Who does though?

#InBNewsIGotSomeUpdatesOnHerNurseryAppTodayWhichWereQuiteOldButSuddenlyCameThrough

Ooh.

#TheyTalkAboutTheThingsThatSheGetsUpToAndTheWordsSheSaysWhichAnswersMyPreviousQuestions

One of her carers said that she was saying two word sentences and I was confused. What words? etc.

#ApparentlyDuringOneSessionSheWasSayingQuackQuackWhichSheHasNeverSaidToMeEvenWithAllMyEncouragement

Quacking is probably the animal sound that I make to her the most, so it’s good that it’s paying off I guess.

#SheAlsoSaidStompRoarAndMunchMunchWhenPlayingWithDinosaurs

It might explain why she suddenly stomps along with the elephant in her ‘From Head To Toe’ book. She has a book about dinosaurs where I always roar on the first page, so again I guess it’s paid off.

#IThenAskedHerWhatSoundADinosaurMakesAndSheSaidSomethingSimilarToRoar

Maybe rar. I can’t remember now, but it sounded like a roar anyways.

#AndDuringAMusicSessionAtNurserySheSaidBaaBaaSheepWhichSurprisedMe

She had a phase of liking me singing that song, which might have been after that session which also explains why she was so keen on the song – perhaps?

#IGuessAtNurserySheCopiesTheOtherKidsAndAdultsMoreAndIsMoreLikelyToSayThings

There’s more encouragement. The notes say about her looking to her peers and wanting them to join in with her etc. An example is she went to play with some animal hand puppets then smiled to her peers to join her. She put her hand in the puppets, which also explains why she started to do that at home not long ago. Nursery is obviously doing her a lot of good!

#ISingWindTheBobbinUpToHerLoadsAndSometimesSheWillDoAFewActionsWithMeAndSometimesSheDoesNone

It’s very hit and miss. Same with the ‘From Head To Toe’ book as sometimes she will do the actions, and sometimes she won’t. I guess it depends on her mood, and she isn’t on the planet to perform for me.

#WeWerePlayingWithHerCowPuppetAndSheSuddenlySaidMoo

All the surprises!

#ItIsJustFunnyAsTheOtherDayIWasSayingToAFriendThatIWishedThatBMadeAnimalNoisesAndApparentlySheDoes

It was a day of discovery.

#IHaveStartedToPlayHideAndSeekWithBWhereICountToFiveAndTryToFindHer #NineOutOfTenTimesSheIsBehindTheKitchenDoorButIPretendICanNotFindHerForABit

Sometimes she runs around after me while I look for her, and then goes back behind the kitchen door.

#SheIsStillTeethingAndHasABitOfAColdButSheIsRunningAroundWithMoreEnergyTheseDays

It’s good. I get worried about her, but she is usually in a good mood despite everything.

37 weeks comparison with B:

Self-portrait showing me leaning forward with my hands on my hips and my bump drooping down. White boxes censor my nipples.
Tiago Says This Shows The Animal Side Of Carrying A Baby (37 weeks)
 
#HadAMidwifeAppointmentYesterday
#MyUsualOneWasOnAnnualLeaveButAlsoTimedItToMakeSureISawSomeoneDifferent
#SheWasReallyNiceAndJustWentThroughAllMyNotesToDoubleCheckThatEverythingWasCorrect
#SheCalledForMyBloodResultsAndSaidSheDidNotKnowWhatIHaveBeenEatingButMyHemoglobinLevelIsGreat
#WhichIsGoodAsIAmVegetarianButIHaveBeenTakingIronForYears
#AndBeingPregnantEveryoneIsAlwaysAskingYouWhatYouAreEatingAndIfYouAreEatingWellEtc
#IHaveProbablyBeenABitHealthierBecauseOfThePandemic
#NotJustBeingAbleToGoOutAndGetWhatIWantAndOurFavouriteTakeawaysAreOnlyJustReopening
#ChocolateMilkHasBeenMyMainTreat
#SheSaidEverythingElseLooksGoodAndThatFrom37WeeksYouCanHaveAHomeBirth
#ThoughIfIHadTheBabyNowWeWouldProbablyHaveToGoToHospitalForACheckOver
#ICanAlsoStartUsingMyMedicalAidThatWillHopefullyHelpReduceTheRiskOfTearingAndAnEpisiotomy
#AndAlsoStartTryingToCollectColostrumIfMyBoobsSoWishToDoIt
#ThoseTwoThingsCouldPotentiallyTriggerEarlyLabour
#SoThoughIFeelRelaxedAndKindOfExcitedAboutBirthNowBecauseItIsSafeForMeToGiveBirthAtHomeNow
#IDoNotWantToHaveToGoToHospitalAsTheRulesForVisitationAreVeryStrictBecauseOfCovid
#IfIHaveToThenIHaveToAndIKnowWeWillWeWellLookedAfter
#ThereIsNoPointGettingStressedOutAboutThings
#IFeelLikePeopleDoNotKnowHowToTalkToPregnantPeople
#IncludingMyselfBeforeIWasPregnant
#PeopleAskingMeHowIAmFeelingAboutBirthWhichIsFineButThenAskingIfIAmWorried
#WhyShouldIBeWorried
#WhatIsThePointOfWorryingWhenItIsAPerfectlyNormalThingToHappenToMyBody
#PeopleTellingMeAboutALongLabourSomeoneTheyKnowHadAndHavingToHaveEmergencyCaesareans
#ApparentlyEmergencyOnesAreActuallyQuiteRareAndAreCalledUnplanned
#AndIfYouAreInLabourFor48HoursItIsNotConstantItJustComesAndGoes
#AtLeastThatIsWhatIHaveHeardButWhatDoIKnowAsIAmYetToExperienceIt
#IThinkTheMorePositiveYouAreAboutItThenTheBetterItWillGo
#AsAdrenalineStopsLabourSoIJustWantToFocusOnProducingAllTheOxytocin
#IAmDefinitelyGladThatIHaveDoneSomeReadingAndOnlineCourses

I think the day before I had still been 36 weeks.

Chocolate oat milk has been a big treat of mine this pregnancy too. I haven’t been as healthy this time with food this time I think, since I live with my Nan who has a massive sweet tooth and I have been indulging in crisps a bit lately.

I was not planning on using my medical aid this time as I was worried that that is what made B turn round, but now I might give it a go as I have nothing to lose. I also need to look at my colostrum kit, but I don’t know if I can really produce any yet.

Spoiler alert – I had to go to hospital with B.

I was obviously in a good place mentally in regards to giving birth. I need to get there again, so I need to binge on as much hypnobirthing stuff as I can…

Self-portrait showing that I can only do the top part of my coat up.
My Coat Is Uncomfortably Tight These Days (37 weeks)
 
#JustRealisedThatThePrevious3ImagesInTheSeriesAreQuiteNude
#IHadAlreadyPlannedForThisShootToBeMeInMyCoat
#ItWasNotADecisionOfOhIBetterCoverUpInTheNextPicture
#ThoughIAmNotSureWhyIFeelTheNeedToStateThis
#AnywaysYesterdayWeWereOnAWalk
#ItWasABitWindySoIWoreMyCoat
#ICouldJustAboutDoItUpButItFeltTooTightSoIHadToUndoIt
#ButItWasSoWindyThatINeededToDoItUpABit
#LuckilyICouldStillDoTheTopTwoPoppersUp
#IProbablyLookedABitFunnyWithMyBumpHangingOutTheBottomOfMyCoat
#ThoughNotManyPeopleWereAboutAnyways
#AndIDidNotReallyCare
#TodayWeHaveBeenOrganisingTheBedroomMore
#IThoughtTheCotWouldJustGoWhereWeWantedIt
#ButNoThatWouldBeTooEasy
#SoWeHadToRearrangeThingsOtherwiseItWouldBeAFaffToGetInAndOutOfTheRoom
#IDecidedToSetTheCotUp
#ItFeelsABitPrematureAndLikePerhapsIAmJinxingThings
#ButItWillBeNiceToLoseTheShockOfSeeingACotEverytimeIWalkInTheRoom
#ThoughIGuessWalkingInAndSeeingABabyWillBeMoreOfAShock
#WeAlsoCutDownTheBoxesThatOurPillowsCameInToMakeUnderBedStorage
#IWasLookingAtBuyingSomeUnderBedStorageTheOtherWeek
#ButTheDimensionsWereNeverRight
#ItTookMeHalfAnHourToCutOneDownToSize
#ThenTiagoCameHomeFromTheSupermarketAndDidTheOtherOneInAMinuteWithAKnife
#OhWellIWasWatchingSomeFreeBabyClassWhilstIDidTheFirstOneAndItHelpedMeConcentrate
#TiagoIsPracticingPuttingTheCarSeatInTheCarAtTheMoment
#ThoughIDoNotKnowWhenWeWillUseItExceptIfWeHaveToGoToHospitalForSomeReason
#ICanNotRememberTheLastTimeIHadANapDuringTheDay
#IAlwaysPlanToButMyToDoListSeemsNeverEnding

I can still do up the inner zip of this coat, so though this baby may be bigger than B was, my bump is obviously not bigger in some ways. Not sure.

I feel like I need to nest, but B has so much stuff that it is hard to. We can not set up the cot yet as it is at my parent’s house for in case they have to have B. I think I will keep B in her cot, and use their one for the new baby.

I try to have a nap every day when B does as otherwise I regret it. I often do not feel sleepy, but manage to sleep for a bit.

Self-portrait with my husband, Tiago, where we recreated an image for the second time (so there are 3 similar images). Tiago is at the same level as my bump and is slightly staring past it.
Bump Is Definitely Droopier (37 weeks)
 
#IDecidedYesterdayThatWeShouldRemakeThisPicture
#IWasNotSureIfIShouldLeaveItABitLonger
#ButObviouslyIDoNotKnowWhenIMayGiveBirth
#IThoughtMaybeThereWouldNotBeThatMuchChangeSince33Weeks
#ButBumpIsDefinitelyDroopier
#ShameThatWeDidNotDoItAround27AndAHalfWeeksToo
#ItCouldHaveBeenAPictureThatWeRemadeOnceAMonthIfWeHadThoughtAboutIt
#TiagoLooksALittleDifferentButNotMuch
#HeHasTrimmedHisBeardBetweenTheLastRemakeAndThisOne
#IStillNeedToTryToGiveHimAHaircutThoughIAmNervousTo
#HeHadHisBirthdayThisWeek
#ToCelebrateWeOrderedIndianTakeawayThatLastedFor3MealsEach
#ThereWasASmallChanceThatHeCouldHaveSharedHisBirthdayWithBaby
#ButIAmGladThatTheBabyHasNotArrivedYet
#IJustAskedHimHowHeFeelsAboutItPotentiallyBeingHisLastBirthdayWithoutBeingAFather
#HeSaysHeDoesNotCareMuchAboutHisBirthday
#HeLooksForwardToHavingAnotherHumanAroundAndBeingAFather
#WatchingThemGrowAndBeingResponsibleForTheirEducation
#IThinkHeIsExcitedToRelaxWithTheBabyOnHisChest
#LastNightIWasAwakeBetween3And6
#TiagoStirredAtAround6SoIToldHimICouldNotSleep
#SoHeSaidToPutMyHeadOnHisChest
#IFellAsleepPrettyQuickly
#BeforeIWasPregnantIRarelyFellAsleepLikeThat
#IHadToBeSuperSuperTired
#PeopleTalkALotAboutTheBenefitsOfTheBabyBeingOnYourChest
#ButApparentlyItWorksWellForMeToo
#AsThereHaveBeenAFewTimesLatelyThatIHaveFallenAsleepLikeThat
#MaybeItIsSomeEvolutionaryThingAndFeelingSafe
#IWokeUpWhenMyEarStartedToHurtThough

This picture is a remake of #1 (last image) and #2 (also last image).

My bump has definitely dropped, and the midwife commented on it (she saw me 2 or 3 appointments ago?)

This time around I tried to remake images more often.

I gave Tiago a haircut last week in case I didn’t have the opportunity to do it again for a while.

I think he is also looking forward to relaxing with a baby on his chest again. Those were sweet moments…


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Categories
Pregnancy Waiting II

I Have Not Taken A Nude Full Length This Pregnancy, So Now Feels Like The Time To (36 Weeks / 9th January 2022)

Full length nude showing my bump. White boxes censor the image.
I Have Not Taken A Nude Full Length This Pregnancy, So Now Feels Like The Time To (36 Weeks / 9th January 2022)
 
#LookingBackAtWhenIWasPregnantWithBITookAFullLengthNudeAt36WeeksSoItWouldBeNiceToHaveAComparisonPictureForMyself
#IFeelLikeIfIDoNotDoItTodayThenIMightNotHaveTheChanceTo
#MyMumAndADogWalkerSaidYesterdayThatMyBumpLookedLikeItHadDroppedMoreSinceTheLastTimeTheySawMeWhichHadOnlyBeenACoupleOfDays
#IThinkWithBIReallyDidNotThinkThatSheWouldComeBeforeHerDueDateThatIDidNotNoticeAnySignsThatLabourWasImminent
#ThisTimeIAmOnHighAlertThatTheBabyCouldComeAnyDayNowAndThinkThatAnyTwingeOrPainCouldMeanSomething
#ISuddenlyHaveABitMoreEnergyWhichIsNiceButItCouldBeASignThatLabourIsClose
#TheInsideOfMyTopRightLegHasBeenHurtingALotLatelyWhichCouldBeDueToRelaxinAndOrOverStretching
#YesterdayILookedToSeeWhatTheLatestCovidRulesAreAtTheHospitalThatIAmDueToGiveBirthIn
#YourBirthPartnerHasToLeaveOnceYouGetMovedFromTheDeliverySuiteToThePostNatalWardAndTheyAreNotAllowedToVisitDuringYourStay
#IHaveJustCheckedTheWebsiteAgainAndItIsVeryMisleadingAsToWhatTheRulesAre
#ItLooksLikeABirthPartnerCanBeWithYouFromTheTimeYouAreAdmittedButIMightBeMissingSomething
#IUnderstandWhyTheRulesMayBeStrictAgainAsServicesAreStretchedAndALotOfStaffAreIll
#ButItIsFrustratingThatThingsMightBeExactlyBackToHowTheyWereWhenIGaveBirthToBInJune2020
#IMightNotBeInForVeryLongThisTimeButIAlsoHaveToMentallyPrepareMyselfInCaseItIsARepeatOfLastTime
#ICavedAndOrderedSomeSleepsuitsForTheBabyLikeTheOnesWeHadForBAsTheyWereSoConvenient
#ILoveHavingAZipThatGoesBothWaysAndBuiltInMittensAndFeetThatYouCanFoldAndUnfoldOver
#TheyArrivedYesterdayAndMyHospitalBagsArePrettyMuchPackedNow
#MostOfTheStuffLeftToPackAreThingsThatIAmUsingLikeClothesAndChargersEtc
#TiagoBoughtSomeSnacksAndDrinksToPackYesterdaySoThatIsGood
#WeHaveStartedToWatchSomeHypnobirthingVideosAndIFeelABitMoreRelaxedAgain
#IWasStartingToFeelABitStressedAndWeirdlyDisconnectedAboutTheFactThatIMayBeGivingBirthSoon
#BHasANewObsessionWithHerBellyButtonWhichIsQuiteCute
#SheWillStartAnotherSessionOfNurseryInACoupleOfWeeksSoIAmFeelingRelievedAboutThat
#WeCanOnlyJustifySendingHerAsWeLiveWithMyNanAndSaveSomeMoney
#ItWillBeABigHelpThoughWhenTheBabyComesAndIKnowThatBIsGettingEnoughStimulation
#IHadToPickHerUpTheOtherDayAsTiagoWentOutToWorkForOnceAndHerCarerWasSayingAboutHowMuchSheLovesMilk
#IWasLikeYeahItIsABigObsessionOfHersButSheHasStartedToNotDrinkItAllInOneGoNowAndTakeSomeBitesOfFoodInBetweenSipsWhichSeemsGood
#IWishBCouldTellUsAboutHerTimeAtNurseryAndWhatSheGetsUpToButIGuessWeWillHaveToWaitAWhile
#HerCarerSaidThatBIsSayingTwoWordSentencesButIAmNotSureIfSheMeansActualWordsOrJustBabble
#BWillQuiteHappilyChatForAWhileWithALotOfEmotionAndLaughterAndHandGesturesButIHaveNoClueWhatSheIsSaying

(I’m feeling awkward about posting this and it’s censored.)

#LookingBackAtWhenIWasPregnantWithBITookAFullLengthNudeAt36WeeksSoItWouldBeNiceToHaveAComparisonPictureForMyself

I saw the image when I was comparing pregnancy images in my last post, and thought I should do a similar shoot.

#IFeelLikeIfIDoNotDoItTodayThenIMightNotHaveTheChanceTo

I know this baby is different to B, but B came really soon in comparison.

#MyMumAndADogWalkerSaidYesterdayThatMyBumpLookedLikeItHadDroppedMoreSinceTheLastTimeTheySawMeWhichHadOnlyBeenACoupleOfDays

I really don’t notice it, but I feel like I can breathe a bit better when I lie in bed, so (I believe) that’s usually a sign that it has dropped.

#IThinkWithBIReallyDidNotThinkThatSheWouldComeBeforeHerDueDateThatIDidNotNoticeAnySignsThatLabourWasImminent

Well, the only thing I can think of is that she was super active the day before she was born (that she turned round), but I was oblivious to any other signs that may have occurred.

#ThisTimeIAmOnHighAlertThatTheBabyCouldComeAnyDayNowAndThinkThatAnyTwingeOrPainCouldMeanSomething

Back pain – ooh does that mean I’m close? A cramp – oh? I know that these things can mean it is a few weeks away, which it could be.

#ISuddenlyHaveABitMoreEnergyWhichIsNiceButItCouldBeASignThatLabourIsClose

All the signs. Any signs. I’ll read into anything now.

#TheInsideOfMyTopRightLegHasBeenHurtingALotLatelyWhichCouldBeDueToRelaxinAndOrOverStretching

Another sign? Actually, it didn’t hurt yesterday for the first day in a while.

#YesterdayILookedToSeeWhatTheLatestCovidRulesAreAtTheHospitalThatIAmDueToGiveBirthIn

I’ve been avoiding looking as I didn’t see the point in looking too early in case things changed.

#YourBirthPartnerHasToLeaveOnceYouGetMovedFromTheDeliverySuiteToThePostNatalWardAndTheyAreNotAllowedToVisitDuringYourStay

Which is what the rules were when I had B – but it’s a different hospital as I was in Liverpool then.

#IHaveJustCheckedTheWebsiteAgainAndItIsVeryMisleadingAsToWhatTheRulesAre

A page about maternity says about being allowed to visit, but a webpage I found on my phone mentions that visiting is no longer allowed. They need to sync their pages.

#ItLooksLikeABirthPartnerCanBeWithYouFromTheTimeYouAreAdmittedButIMightBeMissingSomething

It might be on a page that I did not find.

#IUnderstandWhyTheRulesMayBeStrictAgainAsServicesAreStretchedAndALotOfStaffAreIll

I get it, I do.

#ButItIsFrustratingThatThingsMightBeExactlyBackToHowTheyWereWhenIGaveBirthToBInJune2020

I knew that when we were trying to get pregnant that I might have another Covid baby, but I did not think that cases would be so bad again and that there would be such hospital restrictions. Fun times.

#IMightNotBeInForVeryLongThisTimeButIAlsoHaveToMentallyPrepareMyselfInCaseItIsARepeatOfLastTime

I guess it depends on how breastfeeding goes, how desperately they need my bed, what kind of birth I have, what time of the day I give birth etc.

#ICavedAndOrderedSomeSleepsuitsForTheBabyLikeTheOnesWeHadForBAsTheyWereSoConvenient #ILoveHavingAZipThatGoesBothWaysAndBuiltInMittensAndFeetThatYouCanFoldAndUnfoldOver

We haven’t been able to find her 0-3 month clothes, but her sleepsuits were so worn anyways that it’s probably nicer for the baby to have new ones. I got them in a sale, and I dressed B’s in hers all day every day so we’ll get the use out of them.

#TheyArrivedYesterdayAndMyHospitalBagsArePrettyMuchPackedNow

Hurrah. One bag for baby, one bag for me.

#MostOfTheStuffLeftToPackAreThingsThatIAmUsingLikeClothesAndChargersEtc

It was a similar situation when I was pregnant with B. Everything packed that can be packed, then a list of things to grab when the time comes.

#TiagoBoughtSomeSnacksAndDrinksToPackYesterdaySoThatIsGood

Snack bars, sports drinks, snack mix, crisps etc. Last time I didn’t want to eat during labour, but the food came in handy for my long hospital stay.

#WeHaveStartedToWatchSomeHypnobirthingVideosAndIFeelABitMoreRelaxedAgain

I was getting worried that B would never read the book, so it seems like a good idea.

#IWasStartingToFeelABitStressedAndWeirdlyDisconnectedAboutTheFactThatIMayBeGivingBirthSoon

I’ve done it before, but the fact it could be so different this time is stressing me out a bit. I just need to relax.

#BHasANewObsessionWithHerBellyButtonWhichIsQuiteCute

Yesterday she unzipped her sleepsuit (she generally wears her sleepsuits all day unless she has nursery as it’s so easy to layer clothes over them if we go out – I ordered her a couple of 12-18 months suits as she is still in 6-12 months and the 18-24 months that I bought look massive) and was looking at it.

#SheWillStartAnotherSessionOfNurseryInACoupleOfWeeksSoIAmFeelingRelievedAboutThat

I was hoping that she would start next week, but they were quite slow about arranging it so I feel less bad about buying the sleepsuits as the money saved on a session next week pays for them.

#WeCanOnlyJustifySendingHerAsWeLiveWithMyNanAndSaveSomeMoney

If we moved out now I’d be at home with two kids all week, so it makes sense to stay here until our big move. Respect to the people who stay at home with their kids all week, but it seems too much for me. Sending B to nursery has been such a big relief in my third trimester.

#ItWillBeABigHelpThoughWhenTheBabyComesAndIKnowThatBIsGettingEnoughStimulation

I know that every week day I will have some help now, which I am very grateful for and realise I am extremely privileged to have (T works all week, and my Nan can do some things but I can’t just leave her alone with B for 5 hours).

#IHadToPickHerUpTheOtherDayAsTiagoWentOutToWorkForOnceAndHerCarerWasSayingAboutHowMuchSheLovesMilk

He hasn’t had to leave the house for work for a while, and he also has to one day this week which I am a bit nervous about.

#IWasLikeYeahItIsABigObsessionOfHersButSheHasStartedToNotDrinkItAllInOneGoNowAndTakeSomeBitesOfFoodInBetweenSipsWhichSeemsGood

B loves milk. It’s a fact. I only give her a small amount at each meal as otherwise I feel like she would not eat much.

#IWishBCouldTellUsAboutHerTimeAtNurseryAndWhatSheGetsUpToButIGuessWeWillHaveToWaitAWhile

I’ve said this before probably, but it’s weird sending your daughter off and not hearing from her what happens etc.

#HerCarerSaidThatBIsSayingTwoWordSentencesButIAmNotSureIfSheMeansActualWordsOrJustBabble

I think she means babbling. B is really trying to talk.

#BWillQuiteHappilyChatForAWhileWithALotOfEmotionAndLaughterAndHandGesturesButIHaveNoClueWhatSheIsSaying

I can’t wait for her to start saying actual words and for us to have conversations. It sounds like she has a nice voice.

36 weeks pregnant with B comparison:

Self-portrait sat on the sofa. My bump looks very round and it is a closeup, which my elbows resting over my boobs.
The Baby Just Seems So Protected And Safe In My Belly (36 and a half weeks)
 
#IStillHaveNotBeenSleepingGreat
#WeOrderedSomeNewPillowsWhichArrivedYesterday
#ThoughtWeMightAsWellWithNoPlansToGoAnywhereThisSummer
#AndApparentSleepDeprivationAroundTheCorner
#ThePillowDoesFeelGreatButItDoesNotFixMyProblemOfHavingToWakeUpToTurnOver
#NotSureIfTheLackOfSleepIsDownToMyBodyTryingToPrepareMeForFutureLackOfSleep
#ThoughTalkingToOtherPregnantWomenIAmNotTheOnlyOne
#OurFavouriteFalafelPlaceHasReopenedSoWeGotTakeawayForLunch
#ThatWillProbablyBeTheHighlightOfTheWeekSoItSeemedWorthMentioning
#OtherwiseIGuessWeAreJustApproachingTheWaitingGameNow
#ItIsBabysDueMonthThoughItCouldComeNextMonth
#ABabyFromTheNCTGroupIsDueTodayAndAnotherIsDueTomorrow
#TheyAreTheFirstOnesThatAreDue
#ItWillBeInterestingToSeeWhenAll8BabiesAreBorn
#EarlyOnDateOrLate
#IHopeMineComesAfterTheDueDate
#JustToGiveMeMoreTimeToGetMyHeadAroundItAllAndWindDownABitMore
#ParticularlyAsIStillHaveWorkOnUntilTheWeekBeforeMyDueDate
#ThoughIKnowBabyWillComeWhenBabyWantsTo
#IThinkWeAreReadyEnoughThough
#WatchingThisPostNatalCourseIsReallyUsefulAsIStillFeelLikeIHaveSoMuchLearn
#AndIKnowIWillKeepLearningEveryDayOnceTheBabyArrivesAnyways
#TheBabyJustSeemsSoProtectedAndSafeInMyBelly
#ICanFeelItsHiccupsRightNow
#ItGetsEverythingItWantsOnTapRightNow
#TheWholeFourthTrimesterThingMakesSense
#TheBabyNotNeedingTotalQuietAndWantingToBeCloseEtc
#LikeIHaveSaid100TimesBeforeAtLeastThePandemicAllowsUsMoreTimeToNotRushBackToNormalLife
#ThoughOurNormalLifeTheseDaysIsJustBeingAtHomeForAtLeast23HoursADayReally
#IProbablyWillJustTakeTheBabyOutForWalksAroundLiverpoolInTheBeginning

I’ve been sleeping better this time, but it’s probably because I am tired from looking after B and the mattress at my Nan’s is comfier. I feel like I don’t have to turn over so much for pain reasons.

I miss our favourite falafel place. There is a falafel place that we get takeaway from here, but I’m not sure if it is as good. I don’t get salt headaches from this place though, which is good.

‘#IHopeMineComesAfterTheDueDate’

I was glad in the end that she came early as I did not have to wait and it was so unexpected when my waters broke. This time I’m on high alert, so it’s not as fun, though I guess I think this one won’t be so early. We’ll see.

I feel a bit more unprepared in ways – like I haven’t read/watched as much, but it’s not that long since B was a newborn and I know a bit more about looking after a baby this time (you’d hope).

I definitely took B on a lot of walks. I’m looking forward to taking baby X on walks while B is at nursery, and listening to podcasts and things. I feel like I haven’t had earphones in in a long time – though in Liverpool no one spoke to me, whereas I know a lot of local people now. It’ll be nice to show off the baby a bit.


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Categories
Pregnancy Waiting II

General Documenting Pregnancy Shoot VII (36 Weeks / 5th January 2022)

Shoot which I am recreating for the 7th time this pregnancy. I am wearing a bra and leggings. I have my right hand clasping my left elbow. My bump is bigger than the previous version of this image.
General Documenting Pregnancy Shoot VII (36 Weeks / 5th January 2022)
 
#WellIThoughtThe4WeeksWentFastBetweenShootsLastTimeButThese4WeeksHaveGoneScarilyFast
#IPlanToDropTheTimeBetweenTheseShootsTo2WeeksNowThoughBWasBornBefore38WeeksSoWeWillHaveToSee
#MyBumpIsDroppingLowerOutOfTheFrameWhichIsNotGreatVisuallyButIFeelLikeItIsTooLateToChangeHowIShootThemNowForContinuityPurposes
#TheyAreNotAsSpotOnAsIWouldLikeThemToBeAsTheEarlyOnesAreMoreSideOnAndWithTheLastOneMyBumpIsMorePushedOutButOhWell
#MyMumSawMeYesterdayAndSaidMyBumpHasDroppedMore
#WeStillCanNotFindBs0To3MonthClothesWhichIsReallyAnnoying
#WeHaveACoupleOfSleepsuitsThatWeBoughtRecentlyThoughAndIFoundSomeVestsThatWeDidNotGetRoundToDonating
#SoWeWillManageButIWantToFindAllBsOldSleepsuitsAsTheyHaveTwoWayZipsWhichIsSuperUseful
#IHaveWashedEverythingThatIHaveFoundWhichIncludesACoupleOfHatsAndSomeCardigans
#YesterdayIMadeAListForTheHospitalAndStartedToPackAsIDidNotRealiseThatIAlreadyHadItPackedBy35WeeksWithB
#IWasPrettyOrganisedConsideringIThoughtIWouldBeA42WeekerAndWasPlanningForAHomebirth
#WeGotASecondHandBottleWarmerAndASteriliserWhichTiagoPickedUpYesterdaySoICanTickThemOffTheBabyList
#WeBorrowedThemFromFriendsLastTimeAndDidNotThinkWeWouldUseThemButWeUsedThemLoadsSoItIsGoodToBePrepared
#WhenISayToBWhereIsTheBabySheJustPokesAtMyBellyButtonAndSometimesSmacksTheBumpWithBothOfHerHands
#ISayGentleButSheDoesNotReallyGetItWhichIsFairEnoughAsSheIsStillQuiteYoung
#SometimesIForgetHowYoungSheIs
#IAmGettingQuiteExcitedAtTheThoughtOfMeetingBabyX
#ICanNotWaitToSeeHowBReactsWhenTheyMeetForTheFirstTime
#IAmStillScepticalAboutItBeingAGirlSoWeShallHaveToWaitAndSee
#INeedToWriteABirthPreferencesDocument
#IHopeICanHaveAWaterBirthThisTimeButIKnowINeedToKeepMyExpectationsLow
#BIsGrowingUpMoreEachDay
#SheWasBeingQuietTheOtherDayAndIFoundHerJustLookingAtOneOfMyNansCatalogues
#SheDoesItQuiteALotWhichMakesMeLaugh
#WeBoughtHerATunnelAndYesterdaySheWasSatInItReadingOneOfThem
#InTheBathSheKeptPuttingHerHandsUpToThePumpOfHerBodyWashAndThenRubbingHerHands
#SheHasNotBeenEatingMuchOfHerOwnBreakfastLatelyButThenSheHappilyTakesTheScrambledEggThatMyNanLeavesOnHerPlateForHer
#SheWillJustPickAtItAllMorningAndStealMyCrusts
#YesterdayIGaveMyNanHerBreakfastAndBWentToGetATrayForHerPlate
#SheHasANewThingWhereSheWillAcceptNothingLessThanABigPieceOfSomethingLikeHerGettingOffendedAtMeOfferingHerABitOfBananaRatherThanAWholeOne
 

#WellIThoughtThe4WeeksWentFastBetweenShootsLastTimeButThese4WeeksHaveGoneScarilyFast #IPlanToDropTheTimeBetweenTheseShootsTo2WeeksNowThoughBWasBornBefore38WeeksSoWeWillHaveToSee

I actually thought that I had done the last shoot 2 weeks ago and that now I was going to change to doing them every 2 weeks, that’s how quick time has gone…

So, this could be the last one, but it could not.

#MyBumpIsDroppingLowerOutOfTheFrameWhichIsNotGreatVisuallyButIFeelLikeItIsTooLateToChangeHowIShootThemNowForContinuityPurposes #TheyAreNotAsSpotOnAsIWouldLikeThemToBeAsTheEarlyOnesAreMoreSideOnAndWithTheLastOneMyBumpIsMorePushedOutButOhWell

In all honesty I am not going to miss doing these shoots. I find them quite annoying and frustrating. I think especially now as I can see the errors I made earlier on. I should have just stood up, but I did not take the original one with the plan of repeating it every month. If I had thought about it more then I would have done it differently…

#MyMumSawMeYesterdayAndSaidMyBumpHasDroppedMore

I can not really tell, but I guess the baby is getting bigger and getting ready so it makes sense.

#WeStillCanNotFindBs0To3MonthClothesWhichIsReallyAnnoying

I’m so over it.

#WeHaveACoupleOfSleepsuitsThatWeBoughtRecentlyThoughAndIFoundSomeVestsThatWeDidNotGetRoundToDonating #SoWeWillManageButIWantToFindAllBsOldSleepsuitsAsTheyHaveTwoWayZipsWhichIsSuperUseful

I’d buy more of the same sleepsuits but they’re not cheap, and the baby might not be in them for long. Especially if they’re bigger than B was. Also, as we are not planning to have more kids it does not make sense. We need a few more though, so hopefully we can borrow some or find some alright ones second hand.

#IHaveWashedEverythingThatIHaveFoundWhichIncludesACoupleOfHatsAndSomeCardigans

So, all is not lost. Hurrah. They’re clothes that I did not pack away when we moved though as I guess I hoped B would wear them a bit more, and/or were a bit big for B as a newborn.

#YesterdayIMadeAListForTheHospitalAndStartedToPackAsIDidNotRealiseThatIAlreadyHadItPackedBy35WeeksWithB

Thanks to this blog and comparisons for making me realise.

#IWasPrettyOrganisedConsideringIThoughtIWouldBeA42WeekerAndWasPlanningForAHomebirth

This time I am preparing for a pre-38 week birth, but am obviously a bit more chilled about it. I guess having a toddler to run around after makes it more tiring. I had more time last time…

#WeGotASecondHandBottleWarmerAndASteriliserWhichTiagoPickedUpYesterdaySoICanTickThemOffTheBabyList

We don’t have too much to get now. Just a coat extender for babywearing, snacks and drinks for birth/hospital, sleepsuits, and a baby book (I’m still undecided about which one to get).

#WeBorrowedThemFromFriendsLastTimeAndDidNotThinkWeWouldUseThemButWeUsedThemLoadsSoItIsGoodToBePrepared

I did not expect to pump so much last time.

#WhenISayToBWhereIsTheBabySheJustPokesAtMyBellyButtonAndSometimesSmacksTheBumpWithBothOfHerHands #ISayGentleButSheDoesNotReallyGetItWhichIsFairEnoughAsSheIsStillQuiteYoung

Yesterday, I made a video of B poking my belly button then just smacking it. I kept saying gentle, but she did not seem to get the message… In the end I had to stop filming and stop her.

#SometimesIForgetHowYoungSheIs

Sometimes she seems older. Sometimes she looks so tall, sometimes she doesn’t. It’s weird.

#IAmGettingQuiteExcitedAtTheThoughtOfMeetingBabyX

I lay in bed yesterday just feeling quite emotional. I also just couldn’t wait for B to wake up from her nap so I could cuddle her, but I was relieved that she had the best nap that she had had in ages.

#ICanNotWaitToSeeHowBReactsWhenTheyMeetForTheFirstTime

I hope it goes well. B does seem to like babies, but she might be like ‘okay, when is this baby going back to its home?’

#IAmStillScepticalAboutItBeingAGirlSoWeShallHaveToWaitAndSee

I want to know if it’s actually a girl or not.

#INeedToWriteABirthPreferencesDocument

I’m just going to keep it simple.

#IHopeICanHaveAWaterBirthThisTimeButIKnowINeedToKeepMyExpectationsLow

It’s best not to get too attached to ideas/visions about how the birth will be, as with B it all went out the window.

#BIsGrowingUpMoreEachDay

She seems to change so much day to day.

#SheWasBeingQuietTheOtherDayAndIFoundHerJustLookingAtOneOfMyNansCatalogues

My Nan gets a lot of catalogues in the post and B loves to go through her post. She also loves to go through my Nan’s bags after she’s been shopping.

#SheDoesItQuiteALotWhichMakesMeLaugh

She is funny.

#WeBoughtHerATunnelAndYesterdaySheWasSatInItReadingOneOfThem

Cute. She liked going through the tunnels at a class we no longer go to, so it seemed like a nice idea to get her one.

#InTheBathSheKeptPuttingHerHandsUpToThePumpOfHerBodyWashAndThenRubbingHerHands

It was like her copying us using sanitiser. She’s so observant.

#SheHasNotBeenEatingMuchOfHerOwnBreakfastLatelyButThenSheHappilyTakesTheScrambledEggThatMyNanLeavesOnHerPlateForHer

I ask my Nan if she wants scrambled egg on toast. She always says ‘yes please, and B can have some’

#SheWillJustPickAtItAllMorningAndStealMyCrusts

If I gave her scrambled egg for breakfast, guaranteed she would not eat it. But then again she does just revisit the plate all morning.

#YesterdayIGaveMyNanHerBreakfastAndBWentToGetATrayForHerPlate

I thought my Nan didn’t need one, but B obviously thought otherwise. It was a cute moment. She’s very observant.

#SheHasANewThingWhereSheWillAcceptNothingLessThanABigPieceOfSomethingLikeHerGettingOffendedAtMeOfferingHerABitOfBananaRatherThanAWholeOne

Cue B walking around with a whole banana. I didn’t want her to eat the whole thing, so T took it off her, tore a bit off of it and gave that to her. B then just lay on the floor and was not happy. Fun times.

36 weeks pregnant with B comparison:

When I was thinking about how I am excited to meet Baby X yesterday, I was thinking about when I met B for the first time. Birth is a bizarre thing.

I am hoping this time that things will not be such a shock to the system – I know how to change nappies at least.

I had forgot about the one week in bed, one week on the sofa thing. I didn’t get out for a walk with B until 2 weeks-ish, so it makes sense. I guess it depends on how you feel. I felt sore…

I would say that I am quite active now too.

I am mainly nervous that there will not be enough staff that are Covid-free to have an okay birth experience. With B they gave me time (after I kept saying no to a c-section) to birth naturally, but will they have less patience this time (it’s also a different hospital).

We didn’t make it to Portugal until B was 14 months-ish old. B is still yet to meet one Aunt, Uncle and cousin.

I guess last time it was the summer, so the nights were shorter. I’m also more tired this time as I have B to look after so sleep hasn’t been so much of a problem. I do wear a mask when I have a nap though.

Naked self-portrait. I am stood straight on to the camera with my hands on my hips. I have put white boxes over my nipples and pubic area.
For All I Know This Could Be My Last Week Without The Responsibility Of A Small Human (36 weeks)
 
#RealisedThatIDidNotHaveAnyFullLengthShotsOfMePregnant
#TheyEitherStopBeforeMyKneesOrBeforeMyBoobs
#IWantedToGetAnotherNudeShotBeforeMyBumpDropsSoICanCompareBeforeAndAfter
#ItMightNotDropUntilJustBeforeBirthThoughOrIMightNotEvenNoticeIt
#SomeOfMyFriendsSaidTheirBumpDroppedWeeksAgo
#WeShallJustHaveToWaitAndSee
#ThisMorningWeWereThinkingAboutHowDifferentTheWorldIsGoingToBeForBaby
#HowMuchTechnologyAndThingsHaveChangedInOur30YearPlusLives
#ItIsKindOfScaryButKindOfExciting
#IAmInMyEarly30sButWithItNowBeingThe2020sItMeansIHaveBeenAliveDuring5DecadesWhichIsAWeirdThought
#IGuessItWillNotBeSoWeirdWhenIAmInMyLate30sButICanNotEvenImagineHowLifeWillBeThen
#IKeepReadingAbout1Year2Year5Year10YearPlansAndIAmNoGoodAtThatKindOfStuff
#IJustWantToKeepMakingMyWorkAndHopefullyActuallyStartMakingMoreOfALivingFromIt
#IAmHopingThatHavingABabyMightMakeMeMoreProactiveOrMoreConfident
#IStillFindItWeirdCallingMyselfAnArtist
#IGetImposterSyndromeAllTheTime
#IShouldNotPutTooManyExpectationsOnWhatHavingABabyMightDoForMe
#InTermsOfMakingMeMoreConfidentMoreEfficientMoreOrganisedEtc
#ILikeToThinkIAmAlreadyOrganisedButIFaffALot
#YesterdayIActuallyAllowedMyselfToRelaxABit
#ForAllIKnowThisCouldBeMyLastWeekWithoutTheResponsibilityOfASmallHuman
#WhichIsSuchAWeirdThought
#ICanSeeAndFeelItMovingAboutNow
#IAmTryingToImagineItsFace
#IFindItDifficultTo
#IThinkTiagoWantsItToLookMoreLikeMeAndPullTheFunnyFacesThatIPullInMyChildhoodPicturesAndStillPullNow
#WhereasIWantItToLookMoreLikeHim
#ButReallyIHopeItIsAFunMixOfTheTwoOfUsWithHisBetterPersonalityQualities
#OnlyTimeWillTellButIDoNotWantTimeToPassTooQuickly
#ThisPregnancyHasMadeMeRealiseHowQuicklyLifeGoesByEvenDuringTheSlowishPacedTimeOfAPandemic

I was really not expecting it to be, but actually it was! B came at 37+5, so it was my last full week without a lot of responsibility.

I’m still no good at plans. This year, I just want to keep making work, and move. Then once we move I need to figure out a lot of things. I’m excited though.

I think having a child has given me more confidence in some ways. I like to think I am more efficient and organised too. I don’t have much time to faff. I love to do lists more than ever.

I’ve said it before – I want this baby to look a bit more like me, but I want B and baby X to look like siblings. We’ll have to wait and see – and B’s face just keeps changing.


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Categories
Pregnancy Waiting II

Thirteenth Family Portrait (35 Weeks / 2nd January 2022)

Family portrait. Tiago and I are looking up at B who is on Tiago's shoulders. A box, the same colour as the wall, is over her face to hide her features.
Thirteenth Family Portrait (35 Weeks / 2nd January 2022)
 
#Hello2022AndHelloToBsThirdYearOnEarth
#ItMakesHerSoundSoOldWhenSheIsNotEven19MonthsYet
#WeHadAVeryQuietNewYearsEveWhereWeJustWatchedACoupleOfEpisodesOfQueerEyeThenWentToSleepAt11
#AtMidnightIWokeUpToALotOfLightAndNoiseAsEveryoneAroundUsSeemedToHaveFireworks
#IThoughtItWas3InTheMorningAndWasReallyConfusedAsToWhatWasHappeningAtFirst
#TiagoBarelyMovedAndBDidWakeUpBrieflyButLuckilyNotForTooLong
#HerSleepingHasBeenGettingWorseAndIThinkSheMustBeGoingThroughARegression
#IHaveMadeTheLightOnHerRoomThermometerABitStrongerInCaseItHelps
#SheJustSeemsToBeFullOfColdAndTeethingALotWhichProbablyDoesNotHelp
#TheOtherDayWhenWeWereAllLeavingThePlaygroundTiagoAndISanitisedOurHandsAndBCopiedWhichMadeMeLaugh
#WeAreStartingToDigOutBabyStuffAndBHadABriefPhaseOfEnjoyingSittingInHerBouncerAgain
#IAmGettingAnnoyedThoughAsWeReallyCanNotFindWhereWePutAllHer0To3MonthBabyClothes
#WeHaveLookedMultipleTimesAndYesterdayWeWentThroughThingsPrettyThoroughlyButNoLuck
#WhenWeMovedBHadOutgrownThemSoTheyMustJustBeInASmallBagSomewhere
#IWantToGetThemAllWashedSoICanPackMyHospitalBagButReallyIJustNeedToPackMyBagAndKeepLooking
#OtherwiseWeNeedToGetSomeClothesAsSoonAsPossibleAsTimeIsQuicklyPassingBy
#INeedToRereadTheHypnobirthingBookAndTiagoNeedsToReadItToo
#WeHaveAFewThingsThatWeNeedToGetThisWeekLikeASterilisingMachineAsWeBorrowedOneLastTime
#IAlsoNeedToHireATENSMachineSoonAsLastTimeIThoughtIWasBeingOrganisedAndItCameADayBeforeINeededToUseItAsBCameSoEarly
#TiagoAndIAreTryingToMakeAnEffortToSpendABitOfTimeTogetherBeforeWeGoToSleepAsUsuallyWeAreOffDoingOurOwnThing
#IAmTryingToFaffLessAndUseSocialMediaLessAndReadTheNewsLessAsIDoNotNeedToReadIt10TimesADay
#ItHasBeenNiceToTalkABitMoreBeforeGoingToBedAsOnceBabyXArrivesIKnowWeWillHaveLessUsTimeForAWhile
#MyMainHopesForThisYearIsThatBabyXIsBornHealthyAndThatTheBirthGoesWell
#IHopeThatBAdaptsWellToHavingASiblingAndThatTheyGetOnWell
#IAlsoHopeThatWeCanMoveOutOfMyNansHouseAndIntoOurPotentialForeverHome
#NextMonthItWillHaveBeen7YearsSinceTiagoAndIMetAndWeHaveLivedIn3DifferentCitiesTogether
#OurPlansAreSlowlyMovingForwardAndWeWantToMoveOutInTheSummer
#SoOnceBabyXIsBornTheCountdownWillSwitchFromTheBirthToMovingOutAndGettingOrganisedForThat
#ItWillBeABigMoveButIThinkAllTheWaitingWillBeWorthItInTheEnd
#ThanksToMyNanForPuttingUpWithUsForOverAYearAlready

#Hello2022AndHelloToBsThirdYearOnEarth

2021 dragged at times, but it also feels like it went quite fast.

#ItMakesHerSoundSoOldWhenSheIsNotEven19MonthsYet

It is weird how things work. Yesterday I was thinking about how I am 22 times older than B.

#WeHadAVeryQuietNewYearsEveWhereWeJustWatchedACoupleOfEpisodesOfQueerEyeThenWentToSleepAt11

New series. Great. We had forgotten that it was New Year’s Eve, so we agreed to both be in bed by 9 to hang out.

#AtMidnightIWokeUpToALotOfLightAndNoiseAsEveryoneAroundUsSeemedToHaveFireworks

I guess it was a safer option for a lot of people to meet up, rather than be indoors.

#IThoughtItWas3InTheMorningAndWasReallyConfusedAsToWhatWasHappeningAtFirst

It really startled me.

#TiagoBarelyMovedAndBDidWakeUpBrieflyButLuckilyNotForTooLong

When I woke up I was so shocked I said ‘Tiago!’, but he just said ‘what?’ and rolled over. I had turned B’s machine up.

#HerSleepingHasBeenGettingWorseAndIThinkSheMustBeGoingThroughARegression

I looked up 18 month sleep regression and a lot of boxes were checked.

#IHaveMadeTheLightOnHerRoomThermometerABitStrongerInCaseItHelps

I had put it on the lowest setting, but it didn’t seem high enough.

#SheJustSeemsToBeFullOfColdAndTeethingALotWhichProbablyDoesNotHelp

We are constantly cleaning her eyes, wiping her nose, wiping away dribble etc.

#TheOtherDayWhenWeWereAllLeavingThePlaygroundTiagoAndISanitisedOurHandsAndBCopiedWhichMadeMeLaugh

She did it a couple of days in a row, and then stopped. We wash her hands when she gets home. Sometimes I use sanitiser, but I worry it is too strong for her.

#WeAreStartingToDigOutBabyStuffAndBHadABriefPhaseOfEnjoyingSittingInHerBouncerAgain

She tried to sit in the baby bath, so I thought I should get the bouncer out for her, then I was worried that she liked it too much that she would be trying to sit on the baby…

#IAmGettingAnnoyedThoughAsWeReallyCanNotFindWhereWePutAllHer0To3MonthBabyClothes

It is stressing me out.

#WeHaveLookedMultipleTimesAndYesterdayWeWentThroughThingsPrettyThoroughlyButNoLuck

I was sure I had put them in a cupboard in our bedroom, but nope. There is a shoulder bag of mine that I have not seen in the couple of weeks that I have been searching, so I am wondering if they are in there, but I kind of doubt it. Thinking about it there is another bag of mine that I haven’t seen either… Hmm. The shoulder bag is probably just full of my bags…

#WhenWeMovedBHadOutgrownThemSoTheyMustJustBeInASmallBagSomewhere

It’s so annoying. I want to find them ASAP.

#IWantToGetThemAllWashedSoICanPackMyHospitalBagButReallyIJustNeedToPackMyBagAndKeepLooking

I might pack my bag later or tomorrow.

#OtherwiseWeNeedToGetSomeClothesAsSoonAsPossibleAsTimeIsQuicklyPassingBy

We have a couple of new sleepsuits that we got as B’s are a bit overwashed and worn as she lived in them, so we need to get a couple more and some vests really. That’s it. I’ve found some cardigans and hats.

#INeedToRereadTheHypnobirthingBookAndTiagoNeedsToReadItToo

I’m enjoying reading a book about the Carpenters at the moment. It’s just a short read, then I will reread the book. To be fair I wrote down the main points in an email to myself and it’s enough really, but I feel like I’d feel calmer if I reread the book.

#WeHaveAFewThingsThatWeNeedToGetThisWeekLikeASterilisingMachineAsWeBorrowedOneLastTime

I don’t want to pump as much as I did last time, but it’s good to be organised. I wasn’t planning to pump at all last time, but we got given a pump and a friend lent us the steriliser so we were all set up for it when we got home from hospital.

#IAlsoNeedToHireATENSMachineSoonAsLastTimeIThoughtIWasBeingOrganisedAndItCameADayBeforeINeededToUseItAsBCameSoEarly

I have put a reminder in my calendar. I think you can keep them for 6 weeks or so, so I’ll just order it next week.

#TiagoAndIAreTryingToMakeAnEffortToSpendABitOfTimeTogetherBeforeWeGoToSleepAsUsuallyWeAreOffDoingOurOwnThing

B goes to bed and we’re like ‘freedom to do what we want’, which is me usually sitting at my computer doing some work, then stretching, and T is usually just having some time to himself and doing bits of work. I guess us not having our own place has made it this way too.

#IAmTryingToFaffLessAndUseSocialMediaLessAndReadTheNewsLessAsIDoNotNeedToReadIt10TimesADay

Less, less, less. I definitely feel better for it.

#ItHasBeenNiceToTalkABitMoreBeforeGoingToBedAsOnceBabyXArrivesIKnowWeWillHaveLessUsTimeForAWhile

We know how important it is to keep our bond strong (cheesy, but true), so that we can navigate the potentially difficult journey ahead (cliche) a bit easier.

#MyMainHopesForThisYearIsThatBabyXIsBornHealthyAndThatTheBirthGoesWell

Fingers crossed.

#IHopeThatBAdaptsWellToHavingASiblingAndThatTheyGetOnWell

Again, fingers crossed.

#IAlsoHopeThatWeCanMoveOutOfMyNansHouseAndIntoOurPotentialForeverHome

Potential forever home, as if we don’t like it then obviously we can move again, but I hope that it all works out.

#NextMonthItWillHaveBeen7YearsSinceTiagoAndIMetAndWeHaveLivedIn3DifferentCitiesTogether

3 and a half years in London in 2 different places a brief stay at my Nan’s while finding a place to live in Liverpool (lots of trips up and down to view places and work etc.), 2 years in Liverpool, then to Birmingham to live with my Nan (we weren’t sure how long we would live with her and had planned to find somewhere of our own to rent in Brum, but it’s too late now).

#OurPlansAreSlowlyMovingForwardAndWeWantToMoveOutInTheSummer

We shall see. We are starting to get a bit excited though.

#SoOnceBabyXIsBornTheCountdownWillSwitchFromTheBirthToMovingOutAndGettingOrganisedForThat

I’m not looking forward to going through all our stuff and really cutting down on things, but there is a lot of stuff that we haven’t touched since moving.

#ItWillBeABigMoveButIThinkAllTheWaitingWillBeWorthItInTheEnd

There has been a lot of waiting, and though it has been frustrating I think the timing is better.

#ThanksToMyNanForPuttingUpWithUsForOverAYearAlready

It’s been nice to see my Nan everyday and not worry about her, though it has been frustrating at times – which says more about me than her. It’s been good for her though, and it’s been good for B too. It’s been nice for my family to see more of B than they would have if we had stayed in Liverpool – especially due to Covid.

35 weeks pregnant with B comparison:

Self-portrait which is shot from below my bump. My eyes are looking out over the top of my bump and my elbows are in the air.
Our World Will Soon Change In One Way Or Another (35 and a half weeks)
 
#IFeelLikeIHaveNotWrittenMuchInMyActualDiaryAboutBeingPregnant
#MaybeBecauseIAmDoingThisProject
#SoLastNightIMadeMyselfWriteAboutHowIAmFeelingAboutImminentMotherhood
#AndIGotABitEmotional
#IAmStillNervousAsEvenThoughIHaveBeenGrowingThisBabyForSoLong
#ItDoesNotMeanWeWillHaveABabyInLessThan2MonthsTime
#ObviouslyIHopeWeDoButThereIsAlwaysAPossibilityThatWeWillNot
#SomeMightSayThatThinkingThatWayDoesYouNoGood
#ButIThinkItIsGoodToBeRealistic
#ThoughIDoNotNowHowIWouldReactIfThingsWentBadly
#ButTiagoSaysWeWillDealWithWhateverComesOurWay
#IAmAlsoNervousForIfWeDoHaveABabyAndIAmARubbishMother
#ObviouslyIWillDoMyBest
#AndIThinkNoMatterHowYouRaiseYourChildrenThingsWillNeverBePerfect
#ThoughIDoNotBelieveInPerfectButItIsTheEasiestWordToUse
#LuckilyWithLockdownItWillTakeSomePressureOffMeIThink
#ObviouslyThereIsAlwaysPressureForTheFatherTooButIThinkTheMotherGetsBurdenedWithALotOfIt
#PeopleSaveMoreJudgementForTheMother
#AndIWillBeThePrimaryCaregiver
#IThinkTiagoWillBeAGoodFatherThough
#IThinkHeHasMorePatienceAndIsABetterTeacherThanMe
#IHopeToWorkOnThoseAspectsOfMyselfThoughAlongWithManyOtherThings
#AndIWantToBeTheBestMotherThatICanPossiblyBe
#WhilstRetainingMyOwnIdentityAtLeastToSomeExtent
#IWillHopefullyBeAMotherButAlsoStillMuchMoreThanThat
#ThatWillBeJustOneOfMyLifeRoles
#MeAndTiagoAreAFamilyButThisWillBeADifferentKindOfFamily
#ILookForwardToLazyDaysInBedOrOnGrassLyingSideBySideBySide
#WritingTheseHashtagsAreMakingMeEmotional
#OurWorldWillSoonChangeInOneWayOrAnotherAndItIsExcitingButAlsoABitScary

This is from a diptych, but the second image is quite booby.

I feel the same as I did when I wrote these hashtags – I am still quite nervous that I might not be be a mother of two soon.

I don’t feel like the best mother at times – especially at the moment as I have no energy – but I know I am not the worst and that I am doing my best (or maybe 90% of my best).

There haven’t been many lazy days in bed or much lying on the grass side by side… Hopefully in the coming years.

I am excited though, but I am feeling a bit nervous too.

My hypnobirthing notes are mainly about breathing and trying to be as relaxed as possible.

See, by this point I had washed all the baby clothes. I need to get on it and find things!

I think I have cared less about how I look with this pregnancy, but I also have not been going out to work and generally people just see me when I take B out and about. I’ve been stretching a lot, and I do get out for daily walks, and I think I am a bit kinder to my body now after birthing one kid.

My mental health has been better in ways during this pregnancy as we want two kids, and I felt a bit lost just living at my Nan’s and waiting for our move, so it made sense to have the second one now. The living situation has been frustrating at times though, and I do look forward to having our own place again – and I’m sure my Nan will like to feel more relaxed in her house again. I know we have been lucky with this situation, and my Nan has benefitted from it too, but we can’t all live like this forever.


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Categories
Pregnancy Waiting II

B And The Bump (35 Weeks / 28th December 2021)

Self-portrait where I am holding B above my bump. She has my hair in her hands and is hiding her eyes. I am kissing her on her forehead.
B And The Bump (35 Weeks / 28th December 2021)
 
#ITookAPhotoOfMeHoldingBWhenIWas24WeeksPregnantAndYouCanSeeABitOfABumpButItIsDefinitelyMorePronouncedNow
#SoIWantToDoASimilarShootAsTimeIsRunningOutAndItCouldBeTheLastPhotoOfBWithMyBump
#IAmDefinitelyGettingToThePointOfBeingBoredWithBeingPregnant
#IDoNotLikeAcidRefluxAndNotBeingAbleToEatAsMuchAsIWant
#IWillEatSomethingAndKnowThatIWillFeelAwfulLaterWhichIsLotsOfFun
#IAmJustGladThatIHaveMoreEnergyNowAndFeelQuiteFit
#IAmNotSureIfIHadAnySideEffectsFromMyBoosterAsIFeltSoRubbishInTheWeekLeadingUpToItAndFeltMuchBetterByTheTimeIHadIt
#ChristmasWasVeryQuietAndWasJustNanTBAndIInTheEnd
#BHadAFewPresentsButNoneFromUsAsWeGotHerHerClimbingFrameAndSlideInTheSummerAndAnythingWeBuyForHerWeGenerallyJustGiveToHerStraightAway
#SheHasACoupleOfMolarsComingThroughAndSheWasInAFunnyMoodAllXmasDay
#IHopeThisTeethingStopsSoonButSheStillHasSpaceInHerMouthForMore
#HerConjunctivitisHasClearedUpNowWhichWeAreRelievedAbout
#WeUsuallyBathHerACoupleOfTimesAWeekButWeWereGivingHerDailyBathsToMakeSureHerEyesWereClean
#IAmSurprisedByHowMuchSheLikesWaterAndDidNotMindUsThrowingWaterAtHerFace
#ThisWeekSheSeemsToHaveLearnedWhatEarsAreAndWhenIAskHerWhereMineAreSheSticksAFingerInMyEar
#IAmNowTryingToTeachHerCheeks
#WhenWePutHerInHerHighchairAndPutHerFoxBibOnMostOfTheTimeSheWillTouchItsNose
#WhenSheFinishesHerBreakfastNowSheUsuallyPassesMeHerBowlWhichIsGood
#IThinkSheHasOfficiallyGrownTiredOfBakedBeansForLunchSoWeAreTryingOutDifferentThings
#WhileSheWasReallyIllSheWasNotEatingMuchSoItIsGoodToSeeHerGettingAnAppetiteAgain
#IGenerallyStruggleABitThisTimeOfTheYearWithMyMentalHealth
#TheOtherDayIJustFeltReallyTrappedInThisHouse
#WeArePlanningToMoveAwayInTheSummerSoIJustNeedToHoldOutUntilThen
#IMissHavingAPlaceOfOurOwnAndIGuessCovidHasComplicatedMatters
#IfItWasNotForCovidThenWeProbablyWouldNotBeHereOrInBirmingham
#ItHasBeenGoodInWaysButIHaveFoundItHardInOtherWays
#IGuessHavingASecondChildSoonWillBeABigDistractionAndTheMonthsWillFlyBy
#IWouldLikeToKnowMorePeopleButItAlsoSeemsABitLateNowIfWePlanToMoveAway
#IJustFeelLikeEveryDayIsTheSameAndWithASecondChildItMayFeelMoreThatWay
#INeedToStartGoingToBedEarlierAsIHaveBeenStayingUpTooLateWatchingShowsAndReadingIGuessAsIKnowThatWhenBabyXIsBornINeedToStartGoingToBedWhenTheyDo

#ITookAPhotoOfMeHoldingBWhenIWas24WeeksPregnantAndYouCanSeeABitOfABumpButItIsDefinitelyMorePronouncedNow

For my 33rd birthday portrait / marking B’s 16 month birthday. Post here.

#SoIWantToDoASimilarShootAsTimeIsRunningOutAndItCouldBeTheLastPhotoOfBWithMyBump

We will see how it goes. B was not very happy last time…

(I put off doing it all day, but in the end it was actually quite nice. She was unhappy at first, but then she started to just play with my hair and seemed to relax. Phew.)

#IAmDefinitelyGettingToThePointOfBeingBoredWithBeingPregnant

I know that once the baby is born my life will change a lot again, but I also just want to move on with our lives.

#IDoNotLikeAcidRefluxAndNotBeingAbleToEatAsMuchAsIWant

So much rich, fatty food at Xmas that is not good for acid reflux…

#IWillEatSomethingAndKnowThatIWillFeelAwfulLaterWhichIsLotsOfFun

Yesterday I had pizza for lunch and a few chocolates afterwards, and I didn’t feel as bad as I thought I would actually. Hurrah.

#IAmJustGladThatIHaveMoreEnergyNowAndFeelQuiteFit

I feel like I am not waddling as much as I was at this point when I was pregnant with B, but maybe it’s because I walk slower and not as far with B, and her pushchair gives me support.

#IAmNotSureIfIHadAnySideEffectsFromMyBoosterAsIFeltSoRubbishInTheWeekLeadingUpToItAndFeltMuchBetterByTheTimeIHadIt

It was hard to tell. I couldn’t feel more lousier than I did before having it.

#ChristmasWasVeryQuietAndWasJustNanTBAndIInTheEnd

Super chill.

#BHadAFewPresentsButNoneFromUsAsWeGotHerHerClimbingFrameAndSlideInTheSummerAndAnythingWeBuyForHerWeGenerallyJustGiveToHerStraightAway

I’d got her some felt tips the week before, but my Mum also gave her some. I guess next year we will have to be more Christmassy.

#SheHasACoupleOfMolarsComingThroughAndSheWasInAFunnyMoodAllXmasDay

It was a bit of a drag at times.

#IHopeThisTeethingStopsSoonButSheStillHasSpaceInHerMouthForMore

*Nervous laugh*

#HerConjunctivitisHasClearedUpNowWhichWeAreRelievedAbout

Hurrah. We’re still trying to clean her eyes a couple of times a day though, just in case it wants to come back.

#WeUsuallyBathHerACoupleOfTimesAWeekButWeWereGivingHerDailyBathsToMakeSureHerEyesWereClean

She loved it. We weren’t planning to give her a bath last night, but she went to the bathroom and looked longingly at the bath. It helps the time before bed go faster, and probably relaxes her so why not. She also uses a lot of energy up splashing about…

#IAmSurprisedByHowMuchSheLikesWaterAndDidNotMindUsThrowingWaterAtHerFace

She has a whale jug that we use and normally splash about with, so we’d splash her and say splash, and she’d laugh. Win.

#ThisWeekSheSeemsToHaveLearnedWhatEarsAreAndWhenIAskHerWhereMineAreSheSticksAFingerInMyEar

Lovely.

#IAmNowTryingToTeachHerCheeks

A lot of blowing my cheeks out and squeezing them.

#WhenWePutHerInHerHighchairAndPutHerFoxBibOnMostOfTheTimeSheWillTouchItsNose

Then I ask her where hers is etc.

#WhenSheFinishesHerBreakfastNowSheUsuallyPassesMeHerBowlWhichIsGood

I don’t like when she starts throwing her food about, so this is good progress. Last night she passed me her yoghurt bowl when she was done.

#IThinkSheHasOfficiallyGrownTiredOfBakedBeansForLunchSoWeAreTryingOutDifferentThings

She had a houmous sandwich the other day, she had some pasta, yeah we need to mix it up more. Sorry B – I got lazy.

#WhileSheWasReallyIllSheWasNotEatingMuchSoItIsGoodToSeeHerGettingAnAppetiteAgain

I was getting a bit worried, though I know she will eat when she wants. She might not eat much of her food sometimes, but she will always steal a bit of whatever we are eating.

#IGenerallyStruggleABitThisTimeOfTheYearWithMyMentalHealth

Dark days where we can’t go out for walks so late etc.

#TheOtherDayIJustFeltReallyTrappedInThisHouse

We’ve lived here for 14 months now, and we’re very grateful to my Nan for letting us live with her.

#WeArePlanningToMoveAwayInTheSummerSoIJustNeedToHoldOutUntilThen

There aren’t many short term options now and it does not seem worth it now.

#IMissHavingAPlaceOfOurOwnAndIGuessCovidHasComplicatedMatters

It’s good to know that Nan is fine and that she is being looked after, but I also can’t wait to have our own place where I feel a bit more relaxed.

#IfItWasNotForCovidThenWeProbablyWouldNotBeHereOrInBirmingham

T and I were talking about how things might be now if it wasn’t for Covid. I’m really not sure. I guess we might have moved closer to a park in Liverpool, or we might have just put up with living in the city centre (it wasn’t that much of a chore, but just not that kid friendly) and I’d be taking B to the museums every day…

#ItHasBeenGoodInWaysButIHaveFoundItHardInOtherWays

There’s space for us at my Nan’s, I haven’t been worried about her (I used to call her every day before living with her), she lives in a safe area and close to a park etc.

I just feel trapped as there aren’t many places to go within walking distance, Covid makes me not want to go to the few places that we could go to, I don’t know many people etc.

#IGuessHavingASecondChildSoonWillBeABigDistractionAndTheMonthsWillFlyBy

Once the baby is born I guess I will go into a baby tunnel.

#IWouldLikeToKnowMorePeopleButItAlsoSeemsABitLateNowIfWePlanToMoveAway

It’s been so difficult trying to meet other parents. Everyone has their old schedules too which makes it more complicated. We can’t invite new friends round to my Nan’s (well we could, but it’s not the best set-up), and I don’t feel that comfortable with going to other people’s homes, because of Covid.

#IJustFeelLikeEveryDayIsTheSameAndWithASecondChildItMayFeelMoreThatWay

I’ve been complaining about Groundhog Day vibes for a while. I’m glad we’re having a second kid now though, rather than leaving it until later. It does make sense as I’m really not up to much.

#INeedToStartGoingToBedEarlierAsIHaveBeenStayingUpTooLateWatchingShowsAndReadingIGuessAsIKnowThatWhenBabyXIsBornINeedToStartGoingToBedWhenTheyDo

I finished reading House of Gucci yesterday. I’m currently watching a series of Survivor Australia at 2x speed, and skipping through it a bit as the episodes are too long.

I need to read my hypnobirthing book again, and just go to bed earlier.

35 weeks pregnant with B comparison:

Self-portrait with my hands supporting my bump, and a patch of dried colostrum is visible on my dress by where my right nipple is.
Yes, That Is Dried Colostrum (35 weeks)
 
#InMyHeadIHaveBeenCountingDownTo42Weeks
#AsTheySayThatUsuallyYourFirstBabyArrivesLate
#ButTalkingToPeopleLatelyEveryonesStorySeemsToInvolveTheBabyComingEarly
#SoIGuessNowThereIsAChanceThatEveryShootForThisProjectCouldBeTheLast
#BabyDefinitelySeemsMoreActiveTheseDays
#SoMaybeItHasJustGotToThePointWhereItsMovementsAreNotShelteredByThePlacentaSoMuch
#LastNightIWasHavingALotOfBraxtonHicksContractionsIThink
#SomeWereQuitePainful
#WhenBabyHiccupsItIsQuiteUncomfortable
#ThisMorningTiagoPointedToAWetPatchOnMyDress
#MyRightBoobHadLeaked
#ItHasBeen6WeeksSinceMyLeftBoobFirstLeaked
#IThinkOneOfThemHasLeakedSinceButICanNotRememberWhichOneAndItDidNotSeemThatSignificant
#TodayItDidForSomeReason
#SoMaybeMyRightBoobHasLeakedBefore
#IHaveAScratchOnMyBellyWhichIMustHaveDoneWithAFingerNail
#TiagoAlsoHadToPointThatOutAsICouldNotSeeIt
#YesterdayIWentOutByMyselfForTheFirstTimeSinceBeforeLockdown
#IWentForAWalkWhilstTiagoWentToTheSupermarket
#IFeltSelfConsciousByMyselfAsINoticedPeopleStaringAtMyBump
#IWalkedOnTheSideOfThePathAndYetPeopleWouldPassSuperCloseByMe
#IWasOnThePhoneTheWholeTimeSoItMadeItNotSoBad
#WeFinallyGotSomeWholemealFlourSoIPlanToMakeSomePancakes
#IHaveNotHadThemInSoLong
#IDidNotAskTiagoToBuyMyFavouriteChocolateOatMilkAsIThoughtIShouldHaveAWeekWithoutIt
#ButNowIReallyWantSome
#IThinkLockdownIsStartingToGetToMeALittleMoreNow
#IJustWantToSpendAWeekendAtMyNansAndKeepHerCompany
#ButItIsLookingLikeItWillNotHappenBeforeTheBabyIsBornDueToRulesAndAll
#AndOnceTheBabyIsBornIDoNotThinkItWillBeAGoodIdeaForABit

Lol at the first two hashtags – B came before 38 weeks.

I thought I leaked a lot earlier than this, so I feel a little less worried now. I got given a colostrum kit today. (Oh wait, it said I leaked 6 weeks before.)

I still don’t like hiccups. I didn’t think that B was that active, but this baby is a lot more active.

I go out loads without Tiago, but usually just for walks with B. I do go to the local shops by myself sometimes, and I went to my midwife appointment alone today.

When I picked up B’s prescription a woman with a walking stick said I should sit down on the chair, so I must be looking quite pregnant to other people.

I’ve been on about making pancakes for a long time, and I haven’t. I finally bought some maple syrup the other day, so I should try to do it soon. Reading this makes me want some now.

‘#IJustWantToSpendAWeekendAtMyNansAndKeepHerCompany’

Well, we’ve spent many weekends with her over the last year+…

Self-portrait of Tiago and me hugging. We are hugging so that my bump is to the side of him.
Hugs Are Different When You’ve Got A Bump (35 weeks)

#ThePictureWasSupposedToShowHowWeHaveToHugNow
#ThoughIAmNotSureHowWellItShowsThat
#IAmSoUnawareOfHowBigMyBumpIsSometimes
#LookingDownIsSoDifferentToSeeingItSideOnInTheMirror
#WellEvenLookingDownIKnowItIsBig
#ButStillIBumpIntoThings
#INearlyKnockedAPlateOffTheTableTheOtherDayWithIt
#OrITryToGiveTiagoAHugFromBehindAndJustBumpIntoHim
#IHaveToHugHimWithMyBumpToTheSide
#HeOnlyGoesToTheBigSupermarketOnceAWeek
#ButWeGoToASmallShopOnceAWeekForBitsAndBobsWeNeed
#LikeTomatoesAndMushroomsAsWeSeemToRunOutOfThoseQuick
#SoTodayIAskedForSomeChocolateMilkAsIHaveBeenThinkingAboutItForAFewDays
#ItIsNotMyFavouriteOneAsYouCanOnlyGetThatAtTheBigSupermarket
#ThatIsProbablyBoringButIAmHappyThatIGotSome
#TodayIBoughtSomeMaternityPants
#IDoNotKnowIfIHaveAHomebirthIfIWillGetGivenThoseHospitalStylePants
#SoIBoughtSomeAsWhenIThinkOfPhotographingMyselfPostBirthIThinkOfAPhotoByRinekeDijkstraWithTheMotherWearingThosePants
#ThoughActuallyInTheOtherTwoPicturesTheyAreNotWearingPants
#WeShallSeeHowSoonIEndUpTakingAPictureAfterBirth
#TheMoreIThinkAboutItTheMoreIWantPicturesOfTheBirth
#ButIGuessItDependsOnHowThingsGo
#AndIThinkTiagoDoesNotWantTheResponsibilityOfTakingPictures
#AndWeBothWantToJustExperienceTheBirthAsMuchAsWeCanWithoutDistractions
#IAlsoBoughtADressThatICanNurseIn
#IBoughtABreastfeedingScarfAWhileAgoForMorePrivacy
#ButAtThisRateIDoubtIWillBeDoingMuchFeedingAwayFromHome
#IAmIWillNotFeelSelfConsciousDoingIt
#IThinkTheBabysNeedWillOverTakeAwkwardnessOrIHopeSoAnyways
#ItIsSuchANaturalThingThatItIsAShameThatPeopleGetOffendedByIt

Yeah, we have to hug like that again now.

I’m definitely bumping my bump into things, and Tiago often knocks it as he goes past…

I didn’t use my maternity pants, but I’ve dug them out as a maybe for my hospital bag this time.

I definitely want to get a picture or two of me giving birth this time, but we’ll see.

I never used the breastfeeding scarf… I hope breastfeeding is easier this time.


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Categories
Pregnancy Waiting II

Imitating B With Conjunctivitis (34 Weeks / 24th December 2021)

Self-portrait with makeup around my eyes to make them look a bit sore/like when B had conjunctivitis.
Imitating B With Conjunctivitis (34 Weeks / 24th December 2021)
 
#ImitatingBWithTwoRedEyesDueToConjunctivitisIsNotTheNicestPortraitICouldTakeButItHasDominatedOurWeek
#ISeemToHaveBeenInSimilarHealthToHowIWas6WeeksAgoWhenIWasBeingSickALotAndFeelingWeakInGeneral
#IWentToBedFiveDaysAgoFeelingSickAndWokeUpAt1AndWasSickThenSickAgainAnHourLaterAndThenAgainNotLongAfterThat
#ITriedToHaveAShowerAndSleepOnTheSofaButMyNanAlsoCouldNotSleepSoWantedAShowerAndCameIntoTheLivingRoomEarly
#SoIWentBackToBedButDidNotSleepMuchAndKeptBeingSickUntilAbout11ThoughItWasJustWaterThatWasComingUp
#TypicallyItWasTheOneDayWhereBDidNotHaveNurseryAndMyMumWasNotComingOverButTiagoManagedToWorkWhileWatchingBAndIHadALieDown
#InTheAfternoonIHadABathAndBWasQuiteHappyJustSplashingHerHandsInTheWaterAndDroppingHerToysIn
#BHasANewTrickOfPuttingStuffInTheBinAndRippingToiletPaperAndLiftingTheToiletLidUpToPutItInTheToilet
#ITryToDiscourageHerButEvenGettingHerHandTrappedACoupleOfTimesHasNotPutHerOff
#ThisIsProbablyHowSheHasGotConjunctivitisOrMaybeSheGotItFromNursery
#IHadNoticedHerEyesWereABitGunkyButThoughtItWouldPassButByTheNextDayItWasWorse
#IWentToOurLocalPharmacyToGetEyeDropsButTheyWereClosedDueToStaffSickness
#SoMyMumWentToADifferentOneButTheySaidThatTheDropsWereOnlySuitableFor2AndOver
#IKeptWashingHerEyesWithCooledBoiledWaterAndTriedASlightlySaltySolutionTooWhichMightBeWhyTheSkinAroundHerEyesWasSuperRed
#MyDoctorsAreOnlyReallyDealingWithBoostersAtTheMomentSoIWaitedForHalfAnHourToSpeakToTheWalkInCentreButHadCalledAnotherDoctorsByMistake
#SoIWaitedAnotherHalfAnHourToActuallySpeakToTheWalkInAndTheySaidSomeoneWouldCallLater
#TypicallyTheyCalledThe10MinutesThatIWasAwayFromMyPhoneAsBWasAsleepOnMeInHerRoomAndIThoughtIWasJustGoingInToGetHerUpFromHerNap
#After3HoursICalledAgainAndTheySaidSomeoneWouldCallWithinAnHourButTheyCalledBackAbout3HoursLaterAtAround6
#TheCallWasShortAndHePrescribedEyeOintmentThatHeSaidWasOkayForUnder2s
#IShouldHaveAskedForHimWhichPharmacyWasStillOpenButInsteadIHadItSentToOurLocalOneForTheMorning
#WeGotItInTheMorningButSheHadToMissNurseryAsSheWasTooIllToGoReally
#IWasReallyLookingForwardToJustHavingSomeTimeInBedToRestAndRecoverButOhWell
#TiagoWasAlsoFeelingWeakAsHeHadHisBoosterSoWeHaveBeenAVeryFunFamilyThisWeek
#ItIsTheFirstTimeThatWeHaveAllBeenUnderTheWeatherTogetherAndIHopeItDoesNotHappenAgainForAWhile
#TodayWasTheFirstDayIHadEnoughEnergyToDoMyUsualMorningStretchingAndMyAppetiteIsPrettyMuchBackToNormalNow
#IHadMyBoosterVaccineYesterdayAndItWasSoQuickAndOrganisedThisTimeWhichWasGreat
#IAmSoGladThatTheBabyDidNotComeThisWeekAsIHadNoEnergyAtAllSoNowINeedToMakeSureIFeelGoodForWhenLabourBegins
#MyAcidRefluxHasBeenPrettyBadForACoupleOfWeeksSoIAmLookingForwardToThatBeingOver
#HadMy34WeekMidwifeAppointmentAndAllIsFineAlthoughTheBabyIsCurrentlyHeadDownButBackToBack
#ISaidAtLeastTheyAreNotBreechButTheWomanSaidItWouldBeASlowLongLabourWithALotOfBackPainSoLetsHopeTheyMoveBeforeThen

#ImitatingBWithTwoRedEyesDueToConjunctivitisIsNotTheNicestPortraitICouldTakeButItHasDominatedOurWeek

B cries whenever she sees me coming towards her with cotton wool, and giving her ointment is an experience every time.

#ISeemToHaveBeenInSimilarHealthToHowIWas6WeeksAgoWhenIWasBeingSickALotAndFeelingWeakInGeneral

Great.

#IWentToBedFiveDaysAgoFeelingSickAndWokeUpAt1AndWasSickThenSickAgainAnHourLaterAndThenAgainNotLongAfterThat

It’s horrid. My throat then hurt from being sick so much. Fun.

#ITriedToHaveAShowerAndSleepOnTheSofaButMyNanAlsoCouldNotSleepSoWantedAShowerAndCameIntoTheLivingRoomEarly

I wanted to feel nice after all the sick, but it was not meant to be. I thought sleeping on the sofa would be best as to not wake T and B up when I was being sick.

#SoIWentBackToBedButDidNotSleepMuchAndKeptBeingSickUntilAbout11ThoughItWasJustWaterThatWasComingUp

Lovely. It was a long night. I don’t like those nights.

#TypicallyItWasTheOneDayWhereBDidNotHaveNurseryAndMyMumWasNotComingOverButTiagoManagedToWorkWhileWatchingBAndIHadALieDown

He’s got 6 days off over Xmas (it’s currently day 2), so he didn’t want to take more time off. I felt so weak that I could not do much, so lying down in bed was good but I could not sleep.

#InTheAfternoonIHadABathAndBWasQuiteHappyJustSplashingHerHandsInTheWaterAndDroppingHerToysIn

I should have a bath on days like that in future, as it’s a good way to keep B occupied while I don’t feel too crummy as I’m relaxing and resting.

#BHasANewTrickOfPuttingStuffInTheBinAndRippingToiletPaperAndLiftingTheToiletLidUpToPutItInTheToilet

It seemed cute, but obviously we need to properly wash her hands after every time she does it now.

#ITryToDiscourageHerButEvenGettingHerHandTrappedACoupleOfTimesHasNotPutHerOff

I don’t like her wasting toilet paper. We should buy a toilet seat lock really.

#ThisIsProbablyHowSheHasGotConjunctivitisOrMaybeSheGotItFromNursery

She’s had a cold from nursery for over a week.

#IHadNoticedHerEyesWereABitGunkyButThoughtItWouldPassButByTheNextDayItWasWorse

Fail. I just thought it was a bit of sleep or something.

#IWentToOurLocalPharmacyToGetEyeDropsButTheyWereClosedDueToStaffSickness

Great.

#SoMyMumWentToADifferentOneButTheySaidThatTheDropsWereOnlySuitableFor2AndOver

Also great.

#IKeptWashingHerEyesWithCooledBoiledWaterAndTriedASlightlySaltySolutionTooWhichMightBeWhyTheSkinAroundHerEyesWasSuperRed

I wish she understood that we’re trying to help her feel better. It’s such a struggle to try to get them better.

#MyDoctorsAreOnlyReallyDealingWithBoostersAtTheMomentSoIWaitedForHalfAnHourToSpeakToTheWalkInCentreButHadCalledAnotherDoctorsByMistake

Ergh.

#SoIWaitedAnotherHalfAnHourToActuallySpeakToTheWalkInAndTheySaidSomeoneWouldCallLater

Cool.

#TypicallyTheyCalledThe10MinutesThatIWasAwayFromMyPhoneAsBWasAsleepOnMeInHerRoomAndIThoughtIWasJustGoingInToGetHerUpFromHerNap

She woke up early. I planned to get her up, but then wanted to soothe her a bit and she fell asleep on me while I sat on her beanbag. I had to wake her up as my back was hurting and I was bored sitting in the dark without my phone – I would have read my book.

#After3HoursICalledAgainAndTheySaidSomeoneWouldCallWithinAnHourButTheyCalledBackAbout3HoursLaterAtAround6

I understand they’re busy and swamped, so it’s fair enough. I just don’t like waiting around for calls.

#TheCallWasShortAndHePrescribedEyeOintmentThatHeSaidWasOkayForUnder2s

He said that the drops is not okay for under 2s, but the ointment is.

#IShouldHaveAskedForHimWhichPharmacyWasStillOpenButInsteadIHadItSentToOurLocalOneForTheMorning

I hoped that they would be open.

#WeGotItInTheMorningButSheHadToMissNurseryAsSheWasTooIllToGoReally

The instructions said it wasn’t for under 2s, but the NHS website says that chloramphenicol eye stuff can be prescribed for under 2s by a Doctor.

#IWasReallyLookingForwardToJustHavingSomeTimeInBedToRestAndRecoverButOhWell

I was looking forward to just lying down for 4 hours, watching a bit of TV and resting.

#TiagoWasAlsoFeelingWeakAsHeHadHisBoosterSoWeHaveBeenAVeryFunFamilyThisWeek

We had an orzo dish on Sunday night that I’m bored of, but Tiago loves. I threw that up, then didn’t have much on Monday night, but Tiago did and was sick on Tuesday morning. Maybe it was the orzo that triggered off my ‘illness’? Who knows? I’m glad that Tiago doesn’t want to eat it for a while now.

#ItIsTheFirstTimeThatWeHaveAllBeenUnderTheWeatherTogetherAndIHopeItDoesNotHappenAgainForAWhile

I don’t like feeling so weak and helpless.

#TodayWasTheFirstDayIHadEnoughEnergyToDoMyUsualMorningStretchingAndMyAppetiteIsPrettyMuchBackToNormalNow

I kept forcing myself to eat for the baby, but it’s been tough. It’s nice to enjoy food again – just in time for Xmas.

#IHadMyBoosterVaccineYesterdayAndItWasSoQuickAndOrganisedThisTimeWhichWasGreat

Tiago dropped me off and I was confused as they’d moved from a marquee in a car park, into a building. It was so efficient. 5 stars.

I’m still not feeling 100%, which may be down to the booster, but as I felt so bad earlier in the week I feel quite good.

#IAmSoGladThatTheBabyDidNotComeThisWeekAsIHadNoEnergyAtAllSoNowINeedToMakeSureIFeelGoodForWhenLabourBegins

I don’t want to feel that weak again for a long time.

#MyAcidRefluxHasBeenPrettyBadForACoupleOfWeeksSoIAmLookingForwardToThatBeingOver

I went to get something for it, but the pharmacist said it’s best to avoid taking anything really. Being ill this week has meant I haven’t overeaten, so I just need to keep to smaller meals and I sleep with my head elevated, which is meant to be a good thing.

#HadMy34WeekMidwifeAppointmentAndAllIsFineAlthoughTheBabyIsCurrentlyHeadDownButBackToBack #ISaidAtLeastTheyAreNotBreechButTheWomanSaidItWouldBeASlowLongLabourWithALotOfBackPainSoLetsHopeTheyMoveBeforeThen

Well, B was head down in the opposite to back to back until the day before she was born so fingers crossed. Reading about it, it looks like I just need to sit leaning forwards more, not sleep on my back (I often wake up on my back and can’t be bothered to shift), and a lot of babies turn round during labour.

34 weeks pregnant with B comparison:

Self-portrait where I am squatting while in my bra and pants, but my pants are barely visible due to my bump.
I Know It Does Not Look Like It But Swear That I Am Wearing Pants (34 weeks)
 
#TimeIsFlyingBy
#LastNightIHadTheWorstNightsSleepInAges
#JustWakingUpConstantlyAndHavingWeirdDreams
#IPlannedToHaveALieInButOfCourseIWokeUpEarlyAndCouldNotFallBackToSleep
#ItWasGettingLateAndIHadNotFeltTheBabyMovingSoIWasGettingWorried
#EventuallyIFeltMovementsAndWasRelieved
#LastNightTiagoFellAsleepSpooningMyBump
#ISawTheCarSeatTodayAndFreakedOutALittleThinkingWhyDoWeHaveACarSeat
#IMomentarilyForgotIWasPregnant
#WhichIsWeirdAsItDefinitelyIsGettingUncomfortableNow
#TiagoSaidThatHeHasNoticedOnOurDailyWalksThatIAmStartingToWalkABitWeird
#IAskedHimDoYouMeanIAmWaddling
#HeSaidYes
#IDoNotThinkItIsVeryPronouncedButIGuessItMustBeEnoughForTiagoToNotice
#IProbablyWouldNotHaveChosenToBePregnantDuringAPandemic
#ButAtTheSameTimeIFeelLikeIAmNotMissingOutOnStuff
#AndItIsNiceToHaveSomeKindOfCountdown
#AsIThinkALotOfPeopleAreJustWaitingForThingsToChange
#IThoughtMyProjectTitleWasSmartWhenICameUpWithItEarlyOn
#NowItWouldBeMoreLike
#WaitingForThingsInATimeWhenEveryoneIsWaitingForSomething
#ButIGuessTheOldTitleKindOfAppliesToOurEra
#UnlessThingsWillNeverBeTheSameAgain
#WellLikeIHaveSaidBeforeThingsWillNeverBeTheSameAgainForMeAnywaysOnceTheBabyIsBorn
#ThingsWillBeDifferentForTiagoTooButNotToTheSameExtent
#HisBodyWillBeTheSameAndHisWorkShouldStillBeFairlyTheSame
#BeforeIWasPregnantWeWerePrettyMuchTheSameSize
#SameHeightSameShoeSizeICouldWearHisClothesApartFromTrousersWhichICouldFitInButWereALittleTooTight
#IAmJustHappyThatIAmStillExercisingAndIThinkStartingWhenIWasMoreAbleToHelped
#TheSameVideosThatIHaveBeenDoingForMonthsAreGettingHarderToDoNow

Good to know my sleep was also rubbish at 34 weeks last time, but I wasn’t being super sick/feeling weak. I was often waking up at 5 and not being able to sleep again, but with B I am more tired so tend to sleep until she wakes up.

I’m having a lot of weird dreams at the moment too. Super vivid.

I don’t think I am waddling too much at the moment, but usually when I walk I am behind B’s pushchair so it is good support.

This time I did choose to be pregnant during a pandemic. I didn’t think it would be getting worse though (cases are on the rise).

A close-up photo of my belly button. A remake of an image I took at 20 and a half weeks.
My Belly Button Has Never Been So Close Or Perhaps So Far Away (34 weeks)

#ISaidAt20AndAHalfWeeksThatMyBellyButtonHadNeverBeenSoClose
#MaybeNowItIsCloserOrMaybeNot
#CloseToWhatQuestionMarkMyFaceQuestionMark
#IGuessMaybeItIsFurtherAwayNow
#ButItIsFarOut
#MyBellyButtonHasNeverBeenSoFarOut
#ItSoundsLikeASurferOrSomething
#IWishICouldReachMyHeadDownAndRestItOnBump
#IWasSayingWithMyLastPictureThatBabyWasNotMovingMuchAndFreakingMeOut
#ThenTheNextDayItWasMovingAroundLoads
#AndTodayHasBeenAnAverageDay
#EvenSittingOnMyBallIsUncomfortableTheseDays
#WellIFeelComfortableWhilstIAmSatDown
#ThenWhenIStandUpIAmInPain
#LyingDownSittingUpGettingOutOfBedIsAnnoying
#TodayIHadAVideoCallWithTheWomenFromMyNCTGroup
#WeWereTalkingAboutInductionsAndWantingToWait
#ButThenSayingHowUnconfortableWeAreSoWhoKnowsWhatWeWillDecideAtTheTime
#IReadALotOfMyHypnobirthingBookToday
#IHaveBeenGettingABitRubbishAtReadingAndPreparingForBaby
#IStillNeedToDoMyBirthPlan
#SomeWomenOnTheCallWereTalkingAboutHavingTheirHospitalBagsPacked
#IThinkIAmTheOnlyOnePlanningForAHomeBirth
#ButIShouldPackABagJustInCaseAsYouNeverKnow
#IHadNeverHeardAboutNaturalOrGentleCaesareansBeforeDoingTheHypnobirthingCourse
#WithTheBirthPlanItIsABitMoreOfBirthPreferencesThanAPlan
#AndWritingDownWhatYouWouldWantForAnyPossibleSituation
#ItFeelsGoodToKnowMyOptionsAndThatThereAreOptions
#IHaveHeardOfBirthPlansBeingMockedABitButGivingBirthIsABigEventWhichCouldImpactYouForTheRestOfYourLife
#IAmSoGladThatILearnedAboutHypnobirthingAndSeeingBirthInAMorePositiveLight

This is a remake of an image I took at 20 and a half weeks.

It does look really far out this time too, and B likes to touch it when I say ‘where’s the baby?’

Earlier in the week I was getting stressed about movements, but they seem to have been quite active and I have been distracted by B’s eyes and my health.

Our bed is comfier now so I do not have as many pains in bed, but it is still best for me to lie on my left side.

I need to do a birth plan, and reread the hypnobirthing book but I am currently trying to read House of Gucci. Once that is done I am going to focus on baby, I swear. I tried to find B’s baby clothes this morning, but they weren’t where I thought they were, and I need to pack my hospital bag.

The first image on this page is the picture I am referring to in the hashtags.

My sister got me some nice new pyjamas for Xmas, and mentioned my Grandad’s pyjamas.

My Grandad was married to my Nan who we have been living with since late October 2020, so every once in a while I feel sad that Tiago and B and baby X never got to meet him.

B didn’t meet her Portuguese Grandparents until this summer, and she is still yet to meet Tiago’s brother, his wife and their daughter. We did a video call with them all today.

I’m gutted that Tiago’s paternity hasn’t improved since he was off with B, but I’m looking forward to him having two weeks off. He’s going to do the same again – one week of paternity, and one week of annual leave.

It’s good to know that I felt uncomfortable after sitting on the exercise ball, as I thought I didn’t, and I’m getting those pains now.

I didn’t go into another building until I gave birth to B in hospital…


Thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying my blog (and/or the work I make) please consider supporting me by ‘buying me a coffee’ on Ko-fi – thanks!