Month: September 2021

Categories
Pregnancy Waiting II

Portrait Of A Mother Of A Thirteen Month Old (11 Weeks? / 14th July 2021)

Me lying in bed hugging my pregnancy pillow, with a face mask sat on my forehead and with a hand to my mouth.
Portrait Of A Mother Of A Thirteen Month Old (11 Weeks? / 14th July 2021)

#ItSeemsQuiteFittingToTakeAPhotoOfMeLyingInBed
#IFeelLikeIDoSoAtAnyChanceIHaveNow
#IAmJustSoTiredAndItIsFunnyReadingBackOldEntriesWhenIDidNotKnowIWasPregnantYetAndJustSayingHowTiredIWas
#ISawAPregnantFriendTheOtherDayWhoAlsoHasOneKidAndSheWasSayingTheFirstTrimesterWasTheWorst
#IAmHopingMyEnergyWillReturnSoon
#IHaveFeltSoInspiredToMakeOtherWorkButJustHaveNoEnergyForIt
#IHaveBeenTryingToOnlySleepOnMyLeftSideButIAmFindingMyRightSideAndBackMoreComfortableAtTheMoment
#TalkingOfSleepingWeWentToLiverpoolForTheWeekendAndOnTheFirstDayBMissedHerSecondNap
#SheHadWokenUpFortyMinutesEarlyFromHerFirstOneWhichMeantMeTryingToEntertainHerInTheCarWhichWasUsJustReadingThroughAllOfHerBooks
#WePlannedToLetHerSleepInHerPushchairForHerSecondNapButWeWereOutForFortyMinutesWithNoSuchLuck
#ThenWeTriedToPutHerDownInACotButAfterFifteenMinutesWeGaveUpSoSheWasUpForNineHours
#WeGotIntoBedAtAroundEightAndWentToSleepAtNineThirty
#TheNextDayBHadASuperShortNapAfterWakingUpAtHerUsualTimeOfPreSix
#ButOnTheWayHomeSheSleptForTwoHoursAndICouldNotWakeHerUp
#IWasWorriedThatSheWasGoingToDropHerSecondNapButNotYetPhew
#YesterdaySomeoneWasAskingMeHowIKnewIWasReadyForASecondKidAndSheTalkedAboutHerFriendsGettingBroody
#IWasNotBroodyAtAllButIJustWantedToTryAndHaveASecondOneBeforeWeReallyKnewWhatWeWereInFor
#BIsBecomingDifficultToChangeAndOftenWillCryLoudlyForWhatSeemsLikeNoReasonAtAll
#TheOtherDayWeWereTryingToGiveHerYoghurtAndSheWasScreamingSoIJustCopiedHer
#StraightAwaySheChangedHerTuneAndStartedToLaughAndAteAllOfHerYoghurt
#ItMaybeIsNotTheBestSolutionEveryTimeButItWasMuchBetterThanGettingStressedOutAndAnnoyed
#AfterwardsWeHadAFunGameOfHerTryingToStealMyEmptyBowlOfCrispsWhenMyBackWasTurned
#SheIsBecomingQuiteTheFoodThiefTheseDaysWithHerTryingToTakeWhateverWeHave
#IHaveNotBeenSickInACoupleOfDaysButIHaveGaggedAFewTimes
#IThinkTheMoreTiredIAmTheWorseIFeelAsLastNightBeforeBedIFeltSoSickAndIWasAsleepBeforeTen
#IWasAwakeFromFourToFiveButThenCouldNotGetUpOnceBHad
#TheGovernmentHasChangedTheirStanceABitWithMasksAfter19thJulyButItSeemsLikeSomePeopleStoppedWearingThemAWhileAgo
#BsWalkingIsDefinitelyImprovingDayByDayNowAndSheCanTakeQuiteAFewStepsNow
#AtHerBabyClassSomeoneWasSayingSheFeelsLikeBIsTheCelebrityOfTheClassAsEveryoneKnowsHerName
#SheReallyLikesToTryToStealEveryonesStuffButEveryoneIsNiceAboutIt

#ItSeemsQuiteFittingToTakeAPhotoOfMeLyingInBed

Well, I am yet to take it yet but it is what I have in mind. Lying in bed with my eye mask on (the one I got as an emergency in case I had to go into hospital to give birth to B – which I did).

#IFeelLikeIDoSoAtAnyChanceIHaveNow

Tiago had gone out with B to the supermarket the other night (for the first time in ages). I was about to go to sleep when I could hear that my Uncles were visiting. ‘Why does it have to be today?’ But it was nice to see them.

(19th September: I was disappointed to miss them the other day as B and I were both napping, and they only made a short visit.)

#IAmJustSoTiredAndItIsFunnyReadingBackOldEntriesWhenIDidNotKnowIWasPregnantYetAndJustSayingHowTiredIWas

I was confused as to why I was so tired. I’m taking double the amount of iron now, and my vitamins, but I guess it is just a big part of the first trimester. Great.

#ISawAPregnantFriendTheOtherDayWhoAlsoHasOneKidAndSheWasSayingTheFirstTrimesterWasTheWorst

She also had sickness and just felt so tired. I actually think I might have mentioned this in my last post, but it was on my mind.

#IAmHopingMyEnergyWillReturnSoon

I hope so. I am getting into bed as soon as I finish writing this.

#IHaveFeltSoInspiredToMakeOtherWorkButJustHaveNoEnergyForIt

By the time my energy returns the inspiration may have gone. What can I do?

#IHaveBeenTryingToOnlySleepOnMyLeftSideButIAmFindingMyRightSideAndBackMoreComfortableAtTheMoment

It is early days, so I do not need to really worry about how I am sleeping yet but I try to sleep on my left anyways. Sometimes I want to sleep on my front, but I am avoiding it.

#TalkingOfSleepingWeWentToLiverpoolForTheWeekendAndOnTheFirstDayBMissedHerSecondNap

It was a friend’s first birthday, so she obviously did not want to miss a minute of it.

#SheHadWokenUpFortyMinutesEarlyFromHerFirstOneWhichMeantMeTryingToEntertainHerInTheCarWhichWasUsJustReadingThroughAllOfHerBooks

I say us. I mean it was me reading to her. I was hoping to have a nap, so I was tired, and Tiago was also tired from driving. Tired family.

#WePlannedToLetHerSleepInHerPushchairForHerSecondNapButWeWereOutForFortyMinutesWithNoSuchLuck

Nothing like pushing B round a park screaming. (Her, not me.)

#ThenWeTriedToPutHerDownInACotButAfterFifteenMinutesWeGaveUpSoSheWasUpForNineHours

She did not seem that tired though.

#WeGotIntoBedAtAroundEightAndWentToSleepAtNineThirty

B had gone to bed at 7:50. Brushed teeth and into bedddd.

#TheNextDayBHadASuperShortNapAfterWakingUpAtHerUsualTimeOfPreSix

She will usually have 2 hours if she’s up that early, but it was more like 40 minutes.

#ButOnTheWayHomeSheSleptForTwoHoursAndICouldNotWakeHerUp

I did not want her to sleep for that long as I was worried she would have a super late bedtime. She went to bed at 7:45pm, as the England v Italy game was at 8pm and it was fine. She slept until her usual time.

#IWasWorriedThatSheWasGoingToDropHerSecondNapButNotYetPhew

I am not ready yet.

#YesterdaySomeoneWasAskingMeHowIKnewIWasReadyForASecondKidAndSheTalkedAboutHerFriendsGettingBroody #IWasNotBroodyAtAllButIJustWantedToTryAndHaveASecondOneBeforeWeReallyKnewWhatWeWereInFor

It’s really down to wanting two kids and feeling like I’m not up to much at the moment besides looking after B, so it seems like a good time to try to have another one. My body felt strong enough. I have been so anxious this week about the pregnancy, but I am trying to stay calm. Two weeks until my first scan…

#BIsBecomingDifficultToChangeAndOftenWillCryLoudlyForWhatSeemsLikeNoReasonAtAll

I am still struggling to change her nappies, and then add in her excessive wriggling and escaping. It’s great.

#TheOtherDayWeWereTryingToGiveHerYoghurtAndSheWasScreamingSoIJustCopiedHer

I remember my Mum doing it with me when I was crying crocodile tears.

#StraightAwaySheChangedHerTuneAndStartedToLaughAndAteAllOfHerYoghurt

Nothing like laughter to get you out of a bad mood. I think she is teething a lot at the moment, so that might be why.

#ItMaybeIsNotTheBestSolutionEveryTimeButItWasMuchBetterThanGettingStressedOutAndAnnoyed

Obviously if she was really upset it would not be a nice thing to do, but when it seems like she just doesn’t want to do something it is a nice trick. I’d rather make her laugh than get really pissed off.

#AfterwardsWeHadAFunGameOfHerTryingToStealMyEmptyBowlOfCrispsWhenMyBackWasTurned

I had some crisps in the bowl. She was trying to eat them. I then put the bowl on the table and she kept going to it and digging her hands in. Later on I had my back to her and she would touch the bowl while my back was turned, then I’d turn round to look at her and she would laugh. I do love when she laughs.

#SheIsBecomingQuiteTheFoodThiefTheseDaysWithHerTryingToTakeWhateverWeHave

She was trying to eat my Nan’s breakfast again today. I had some strawberries the other night and my plate was empty, but she would just scratch the plate anyways and then lick her fingers. She is funny.

#IHaveNotBeenSickInACoupleOfDaysButIHaveGaggedAFewTimes

Nothing like going to the bathroom and expecting to be sick, but just dry heaving instead. Or sometimes it is just when I am in the kitchen. The body is weird.

#IThinkTheMoreTiredIAmTheWorseIFeelAsLastNightBeforeBedIFeltSoSickAndIWasAsleepBeforeTen

I hadn’t napped during her second nap, so I felt tired. When I get tired I faff, but I should just relax instead. I was going to hang up the washing, but I stood up and thought I was going to be sick. I had to lie down in bed as I had already brushed my teeth and did not fancy being sick.

#IWasAwakeFromFourToFiveButThenCouldNotGetUpOnceBHad

I read some of my book to try to feel sleepy again. T and B were up from 5:40. I slept for another hour. Thanks Tiago.

#TheGovernmentHasChangedTheirStanceABitWithMasksAfter19thJulyButItSeemsLikeSomePeopleStoppedWearingThemAWhileAgo

Though I’ve just seen that masks will still be mandatory on London transport. That’s good.

#BsWalkingIsDefinitelyImprovingDayByDayNowAndSheCanTakeQuiteAFewStepsNow

She can do more than a few really. Ten plus quite confidently, maybe more? I need to get her some shoes. I’ve ordered a foot measurer, so we can just measure them when we want to and order online.

#AtHerBabyClassSomeoneWasSayingSheFeelsLikeBIsTheCelebrityOfTheClassAsEveryoneKnowsHerName

I feel bad as I do not know many of the names (unless I think back to the register), but the teachers are always commenting on what B is doing. She was scared of some animal puppets again yesterday 🙁

#SheReallyLikesToTryToStealEveryonesStuffButEveryoneIsNiceAboutIt

Shoes, phones, toys, pushchairs, whatever. If it is there B will have it.

I maybe have time for an hour nap if my brain switches off quick enough…

–

11 weeks pregnant with B comparison:

A close-up of my face showing a couple of spots in my hairline.
I Feel Like My Body Has A Big Job To Perform Now (11 weeks)

#FeelingConcernedAsIHaveNotFeltSickThisEveningButIFeltSickDuringTheDay 
#MaybeIHaveJustEatenEnoughDinner 
#IWillProbablyFeelSickInAnHour 
#IHeardThatSourSweetsAreGoodForSickness 
#IFoundSomeGoodVeggieSweets 
#DoNotThinkTheyReallyHelpedWithTheSicknessButTheyTasteGood 
#Anyways 
#ThisTextIsSupposedToBeAboutSpots 
#WhenIHadTheCoilISuddenlyStartedToGetLotsOfSpotsOnMyScalp 
#IFiguredItWasDueToTooMuchCopperInMyDietAndInMyBody 
#SoMaybeIHaveBeenEatingALotOfThingsThatHaveCopperInThem 
#ButIDoubtIt 
#IGuessTheSpotsAreMoreToDoWithHormones 
#MyFaceFeelsSpottierTooButIThinkThatHasALotToDoWithTheWeather 
#AsMySkinGetsWorseThanNormalInTheWinter 
#ButIHaveBigSpotsOnMyHairline 
#INoticedThemTheOtherDayButTheySeemBiggerNow 
#FunTimes 
#MaybeINeedToWashMyHairMoreAndIHaveBeenWearingAHat 
#SoMaybeThatPlaysAPartInIt 
#CanNotBelieveIAm11WeeksNow 
#StillNervous 
#TiagoCanNotLieToSaveHisLifeSoHeToldAFewPeopleYesterday 
#SoTheNumberOfPeopleWhoKnowHasNowGrown 
#IJustFeelMorePressureNow 
#NoOneIsPuttingPressureOnMe 
#ButIFeelLikeMyBodyHasABigJobToPerformNow 
#AndIAmNervousThatThereIsPlentyOfTimeForThingsToGoWrong 
#NotFeelingSickNowIsABitWorrying 
#ButIThinkThatIWillGoBrushMyTeethNowAndThatWillProbablyMakeMeFeelSick 

(19th September: Using an image with a border as my laptop stopped charging the other day, and T’s laptop seems incapable of opening editing software – I also have to paste the letter s whenever I want to use it. I am hoping to have my own again in a few days.)

I have felt just as anxious this time as I did with B. I haven’t eaten any sour sweets (I actually forgot about this), but I was eyeing up someone’s sweets on the train the other day.

My face was spotty for a bit, which was probably hormones.

I have been washing my hair even less probably, but it doesn’t look too bad.

I am now 20 weeks and I dry heave again when I brush my teeth in the evenings. This has gone on for longer than when I was pregnant with B…

I feel like I do have a big job ahead of me again, but I am a bit more relaxed about it in ways as I have been through it all once before, and I am feeling a bit more like what will happen will happen – though obviously I am hoping for the best outcomes. Fingers crossed.

Thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying my blog (and/or the work I make) please consider supporting me by ‘buying me a coffee’ on Ko-fi – thanks!

Categories
Pregnancy Waiting II

Imitating B Hiding Behind A Blue Bean Bag (10 Weeks? / 9th July 2021)

Sitting behind a large blue bean bag with my hair in a bun appearing above it, by arms and legs appearing on the left of it.
Imitating B Hiding Behind A Blue Bean Bag (10 Weeks? / 9th July 2021)
 
#TodayBWasPlayingInHerToyBoxWhileHidingBehindABlueBeanBagSoIThoughtIWouldImitateIt
#TheShootWasOriginallyGoingToBeAboutAllTheSpotsISeemToHaveGainedAndLookingAtMyFirstPregnancyProjectIDidAShootAboutSpotsAroundASimilarPointSoItMustBeThisStage
#IHaveBeenHavingSomeBadCrampsLatelyWhichWorryMeButThenIForgetThatItIsOftenMyBodyJustCleaningItself
#IHaveANewStrategyOfJustBeingSickWhenIFeelLikeINeedToBe
#ItIsLessWorkThanTryingForAgesToNotBeSick
#ISeemToHaveQuiteBadBackPainAtTheMomentTooButIUsuallyStretchInTheMorningAndEvening
#ITryToDoVideosWhereIAmJustSatDownAsOtherwiseIFeelTooSick
#ThisMorningIDidAVideoThatRequiredSomeStandingUpAndThenIWasSickNotLongAfter
#BWokeUpAtSixTwentyYesterdayWhichWasEitherAMassiveFlukeOrSheHadSecretlyWatchedTheEnglandGameAndWasKnackered
#ThisMorningSheStartedToReallyKickOffAroundFiveFiftyFiveSoItIsNotTooBad
#ThoughIUsuallyWakeUpAroundFiveAndFiveThirtyAnywaysButThenGoBackToSleepIfSheIsNotAwake
#ItAppearsThatHerFirstTopToothHasBrokenThroughWhichIAmHopingIsWhySheIsSleepingSlightlyBetter
#IThinkItMustHaveBeenQuitePainfulBlessHerButWeStillHaveAZillionMoreTeethToLookForwardTo
#SheStillWakesUpEarlierThanWeWouldLikeHerToButTheGoodThingIsSheIsGenerallyHavingATwoHourNapInTheMorningSoAtLeastICanDoSomeWorkAndHaveANapToo
#IGenerallyJustNapWhenSheNapsNowAsIAmSoTired
#INeedToStartGoingToBedEarlierButItIsEasierSaidThanDone
#YesterdayIWasCookingDinnerAndBSpentMostOfTheTimeEntertainingHerselfWithALimeAPacketOfWrapsAndACardboardBox
#AWomanInABabyClassCommentedAboutHowBIsQuiteContentPlayingByHerself
#OftenSheWillJustGoAndSitAndLookAtHerBooksByHerselfForABitWhichIsNice
#IHadReadAboutTenBooksToHerThisMorningBeforeItWasEvenSevenThirty
#SheGetsSuperExcitedWhenSheKnowsThatIAmGoingToPutHerFavouritePortugueseSongsOn
#IAmStillStressedAboutBGettingEnoughToEatAndOfTheRightThings
#LoveIsMakingHerMuffinsWhenYouHaveMorningSicknessForHerToThenJustScatterOneOverFiveMetres
#AndThenLaughAtYouAsYouSweepItUpOnYourHandsAndKnees
#SheHasAGoodLaughAndTiagoAndNanAreAlwaysWonderingHowIMakeHerLaughSoMuch
#AtTheMomentSheLaughsAtTheCrocodileBitOfRowRowYourBoat
#TheOtherDayIWasSayingShhLetsBeQuietAsWeWentToCreepUpOnTiagoButThenBWentWahhh
#SheNowHasAGoodLaughWhenISayShhLetsBeQuietNotInAWhisperingVoiceAndThenWahhVeryLoudly
#WeHaveCancelledPartOfOurHolidaySoThatWeWillJustStayWithTiagosParentsNowForTheWholeTime
#IAmRelievedAsItWillBeLessStressfulButIJustHopeThatIWillGetOutToGoSwimmingAtSomePoint

#TodayBWasPlayingInHerToyBoxWhileHidingBehindABlueBeanBagSoIThoughtIWouldImitateIt

I love a bit of hiding and revealing. I did some with the toy box and some without as it got a bit distracting with everything, but I’m yet to choose the final shot.

#TheShootWasOriginallyGoingToBeAboutAllTheSpotsISeemToHaveGainedAndLookingAtMyFirstPregnancyProjectIDidAShootAboutSpotsAroundASimilarPointSoItMustBeThisStage

I keep hoping that I am more pregnant than 10 weeks, but looking at Waiting… I seem to be experiencing similar symptoms.

#IHaveBeenHavingSomeBadCrampsLatelyWhichWorryMeButThenIForgetThatItIsOftenMyBodyJustCleaningItself

Yeah I’m talking about discharge, and though I talked about it in Waiting… I’m like maybe people don’t want to read about it again? It is something that I had not heard about before being pregnant though.

#IHaveANewStrategyOfJustBeingSickWhenIFeelLikeINeedToBe #ItIsLessWorkThanTryingForAgesToNotBeSick

I try to hold it off a little bit, but often I’ll just stand up and I’ll be able to be sick right away. Fun times.

#ISeemToHaveQuiteBadBackPainAtTheMomentTooButIUsuallyStretchInTheMorningAndEvening

Another fun pregnancy symptom. Every night Tiago is like ‘I need to get up early in the morning’, but will then give me time to stretch while he makes B breakfast as I really can not stomach feeding her at the moment.

#ITryToDoVideosWhereIAmJustSatDownAsOtherwiseIFeelTooSick

I did do a blog post about the videos that I liked to do when I was pregnant with B.

I do this one every evening on mute while I watch TV:

(14th September: I don’t even watch it now as I know it off by heart.)

I’ve got really into watching TV sped up thanks to a plugin (Video Speed Controller) I have.

& this one maybe once a week in the morning:

Then I generally just search for ‘first trimester stretch’ or ‘first trimester yoga’.

I quite like these channels more now: Pregnancy and Postpartum TV – YouTube / Bettina Rae – YouTube

#ThisMorningIDidAVideoThatRequiredSomeStandingUpAndThenIWasSickNotLongAfter

I did this one this morning:

#BWokeUpAtSixTwentyYesterdayWhichWasEitherAMassiveFlukeOrSheHadSecretlyWatchedTheEnglandGameAndWasKnackered

Mentally it felt like a win, but physically it felt the same. (Her waking up after 6.)

I only watched the last fifteen minutes of extra time as I felt too stressed to watch it. It doesn’t feel like a proud win and I’m quite disgusted by the behaviour of English fans. Add my Covid worries to it and I’m annoyed as hell.

#ThisMorningSheStartedToReallyKickOffAroundFiveFiftyFiveSoItIsNotTooBad

I had heard her at five, and it only felt like five minutes later when the clock said 5:55.

#ThoughIUsuallyWakeUpAroundFiveAndFiveThirtyAnywaysButThenGoBackToSleepIfSheIsNotAwake

We met a girl at the pond today and her Mum said she gets up at 5:30/6 too, and she is about 9 months older. Fun.

#ItAppearsThatHerFirstTopToothHasBrokenThroughWhichIAmHopingIsWhySheIsSleepingSlightlyBetter

Fingers crossed.

#IThinkItMustHaveBeenQuitePainfulBlessHerButWeStillHaveAZillionMoreTeethToLookForwardTo

It looks like a big tooth compared to the bottom ones. Just checked my teeth and yeah that’s how teeth work. Lol.

#SheStillWakesUpEarlierThanWeWouldLikeHerToButTheGoodThingIsSheIsGenerallyHavingATwoHourNapInTheMorningSoAtLeastICanDoSomeWorkAndHaveANapToo

I will miss her two naps. I seem to talk about that every post but yeah.

#IGenerallyJustNapWhenSheNapsNowAsIAmSoTired

Even just a lie down is good.

#INeedToStartGoingToBedEarlierButItIsEasierSaidThanDone

I mentioned reading a book by Stephen Fry in my last post, but I’ve moved on to How To Solve A Murder by Derek and Pauline Tremain. It’s not really what I thought it would be after months of delaying reading it, but it’s an easy read.

#YesterdayIWasCookingDinnerAndBSpentMostOfTheTimeEntertainingHerselfWithALimeAPacketOfWrapsAndACardboardBox

Great. The other day she was being suspiciously quiet and she was pulling all of the tissues out of a tissue box. Looking at the tissues made me want to be sick?

#AWomanInABabyClassCommentedAboutHowBIsQuiteContentPlayingByHerself

She was sat just playing with a drum and cymbal.

#OftenSheWillJustGoAndSitAndLookAtHerBooksByHerselfForABitWhichIsNice

Often upside down, but whatever.

#IHadReadAboutTenBooksToHerThisMorningBeforeItWasEvenSevenThirty

She does seem to like books. My Mum gave us a box of my little sister’s old books and she looks out for them at charity shops so we have a nice collection.

#SheGetsSuperExcitedWhenSheKnowsThatIAmGoingToPutHerFavouritePortugueseSongsOn

She knows by me changing the settings on the TV and she starts to bounce up and down. We often have to play Baby Shark when we clean her up after dinner to get her to chill a bit.

#IAmStillStressedAboutBGettingEnoughToEatAndOfTheRightThings

All we can do is our best.

#LoveIsMakingHerMuffinsWhenYouHaveMorningSicknessForHerToThenJustScatterOneOverFiveMetres #AndThenLaughAtYouAsYouSweepItUpOnYourHandsAndKnees

Classic B.

#SheHasAGoodLaughAndTiagoAndNanAreAlwaysWonderingHowIMakeHerLaughSoMuch

I think my clowning/improv training is finally paying off.

I mean good laugh as in she has a great sounding laugh.

#AtTheMomentSheLaughsAtTheCrocodileBitOfRowRowYourBoat

She starts to laugh as I say ‘if you see…’.

#TheOtherDayIWasSayingShhLetsBeQuietAsWeWentToCreepUpOnTiagoButThenBWentWahhh

I wasn’t expecting her to stay quiet at all. It wasn’t a wah cry, but just a general noise sound.

#SheNowHasAGoodLaughWhenISayShhLetsBeQuietNotInAWhisperingVoiceAndThenWahhVeryLoudly

It’s our first proper in joke. Cute. She probably has forgotten the original time though.

I mean good laugh as in she laughs a lot.

#WeHaveCancelledPartOfOurHolidaySoThatWeWillJustStayWithTiagosParentsNowForTheWholeTime #IAmRelievedAsItWillBeLessStressfulButIJustHopeThatIWillGetOutToGoSwimmingAtSomePoint

I was worried we had hurried into booking stuff and was worried about the cost of changing our flight. Luckily I decided to not go for the cheapest option via not buying through the actual airline, and it turns out we have flexible tickets. Great. So if all goes to plan we will make our connecting flight that evening.

Swimming. I just want to swim. I never swam when I was pregnant with B, and I want to experience it this time as if things go well then I think two children are enough.

–

10 weeks pregnant with B comparison:

Self-portrait where I am looking to the left of the frame. I am stood sideways. I am wearing a light green top.
Pregnancy Just Seems Like The Name For An Illness Where I Am Sick Every Morning (10 and a half weeks ish)
 
#IKnowIAmPregnant
#ButIHonestlyIForgetWhatThatMeansSometimes
#ItJustSeemsLikeTheNameForAnIllnessWhereIAmSickEveryMorning
#ThenFeelSickAtRandomOtherPointsOfTheDay
#EatingHelpsWhichIsWeirdAsBecauseIFeelSickIDoNotReallyWantToEatButIDo
#PregnancyAlsoMeansALotOfRandomCrampsAndPains
#IReadThatItIsMoreCommonNow
#CrampsAndPainsNotPregnancy
#WhichMakesSenseAsMyBodyIsSlowlyBeingStretched
#MyWombIsAtLeastAlreadyTwoTimesTheSizeOfItsNormalSize
#PregnancyAlsoMeansIGoToBedEarlierAndAmAllowedToNotFeelGuiltyForTakingNaps
#WhichIsGood
#IHadANiceNapThisAfternoon
#IForgetThatPregnancyMeansThatALittleBeingIsGrowingInsideOfMe
#ItStillFeelsOddAndSurreal
#ItSeemsWeirdThatItIsHappeningToMe
#ItIsSomethingThatIHopedWouldBePossibleButAtTheSameTimeCouldNeverImagineItHappeningToMe
#TiagoHasDailyTalksWithMyBellyNow
#ItIsEarlyDaysButIFindItRelaxingAndFunny
#AndIThinkItHelpsHimFeelConnectedToThisStrangeThingThatIsHappeningToMyBody
#IJustAskedHimHowItMakesHimFeel
#HeSaysItMakesItAllFeelMoreReal
#IDoNotKnowHowPregnantIAmAnymoreAsAtMyScanTheyGaveMeANewEstimate
#ButIThinkIAmApproaching11Weeks
#AlreadyAQuarterOfTheWayThrough
#QuicklyApproachingAThird
#IKnowThatBadThingsCanHappenAndItIsStillSuperEarly
#ButIAmFeelingALittleLessFreakedOutAndWorried
#IWentToTheBathroomEarlierWhenIGotReallyStrongPainsButAllSeemedFine
#FingersCrossed

14th September: Well, I can completely relate to these previous hashtags. I’m nearly double in pregnant now, but I still can not get my head around it. It is odd thinking that next year we could be a family of 4. It’s weird thinking of myself as a mother of 2, it’s weird thinking of B as a big sister, it’s bizarre.

I wish I could nap as often as I could then, but I did have a nap yesterday afternoon – I was really disorientated, and I woke B up 40 minutes later than I should have. Whoops.

Tiago talks to my bump when he remembers, but it’s different this time around with B as she is a big distraction. The pregnancy seems to be going faster.

Thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying my blog (and/or the work I make) please consider supporting me by ‘buying me a coffee’ on Ko-fi – thanks!

Categories
Pregnancy Waiting II

Imitating B Climbing On The Step Ladder (10 Weeks? / 6th July 2021)

Self-portrait on a stepladder. I am looking back at the camera over my right shoulder, my left elbow is in the air and my feet are tucked together.
Imitating B Climbing On The Step Ladder (10 Weeks? / 6th July 2021)
 
#BLovesToClimbOnAndOffThisStepLadderButLuckilySheOnlyGoesToTheFirstStep
#SheLikesToPutHerKneesOnItAndHoldOnToTheSides
#ThisMorningIHadMyBackToHerWhileIWasDoingTheWashingUpAndAfterHearingALittleYellITurnedToSeeHerHangingOffOfIt
#IThoughtAboutGrabbingMyPhoneAndTakingAPictureButLuckilyCommonSenseKickedInAndIGotToHerJustAsSheBeganToFallOff
#MyInterpretationWillProbablyNotBeThatGreatAsIAmALotBiggerThanHerAndIAmPregnant
#TheBigDramaThoughWasBEatingSomeOfHerSkinCreamTheOtherDay
#IWentIntoHerRoomAndSawTheLidWasOffAndIWasSureIHadPutItBackOn
#ThenIWasChangingHerNappyAndISawHerPutSomethingInHerMouthQuiteCasually
#IRealisedItWasHerSkinCreamSoICalled111AndAfterTwentyMinutesIGotToSpeakToSomeone
#AfterGoingThroughALongChecklistTheySaidSomeoneWouldCallUsBackInABitButIfHerConditionChangedThenWeShouldCallBack
#TheySaidItHasALowToxicityAndAsSheDidNotEatMuchSheWouldBeOkayAndSheHasBeenFine
#IAmSurprisedSomethingLikeThisHasNotHappenedBeforeButItWasNotAProudParentingMoment
#AHealthVisitorCalledYesterdayAboutBAndTheQuestionnaireTheySentUsAFewMonthsAgoAboutHer
#ISaidIHadNoConcernsButTheyAskedIfIWantedToBringHerInToWeighAndMeasureHer
#ISaidYesButTheCentreIsQuiteAWayAwaySoTheySaidTheyCouldJustDoAHomeVisit
#IAmNowPotentiallyAQuarterOfTheWayThroughThePregnancy
#IAmSoBoredOfBeingSickAlreadyThoughIAmTryingMyBestToAvoidIt
#IHaveBeenSickThirteenTimesWhichIKnowAsIAmMakingASequelToPukePortraits
#LastNightIWasSickAfterBrushingMyTeethAndICouldNotGetTheSickTasteFromMyThroat
#WithBIWasGenerallyAlwaysSickInTheMorningButNowThereIsNotReallyAPattern
#InsomniaIsStartingToKickInAlreadyAndLastNightIWasAwakeFromThreeToFour
#WeAreTryingToGetBToWakeUpLaterByChangingWhenSheHasHerMilkAndGivingHerMoreSnacksAndGivingHerYoghurtBeforeBedButSheGenerallyStillWakesUpEarly
#OneThingIAmEnjoyingIsMyCravingForBreakfastBurritosWhichIHaveInTheMorning
#AWrapThreeHashBrownsTwoScrambledEggsAndDipsYum
#IAmDreamingALotMoreAndGenerallyTheyResultInMeGettingUpToLookForBAsIThinkSheHasFallenSomewhereInOurRoom
#TiagoSaysHeOftenSeesMeWalkingOutOfTheRoomAndWondersWhereIAmGoing
#IAmWorriedAboutMasksSoonNoLongerBeingLegallyRequiredAsIThinkALotOfPeopleWillNotWearThem
#IDoNotGoCurrentlyGoOutToManyPlacesAndIThinkIWillFeelEvenMoreLimitedWithMyOptionsWhenTheRulesChange
#IWorryThatPeopleWillFeelMoreComfortableWalkingCloserToPeopleWhoAreWearingMasksWhenTheyAreNotWearingThemThemselves
#IHaveStartedToTakeBForWalksAtSevenInTheMorningInsteadOfGoingOutAfterTheSchoolsHaveFinishedForTheDay

#BLovesToClimbOnAndOffThisStepLadderButLuckilySheOnlyGoesToTheFirstStep

At the moment. By the time I post this things could be different.

(10th September: She has a climbing frame now, but she still hangs on the steps sometimes.)

#SheLikesToPutHerKneesOnItAndHoldOnToTheSides

Which is what I will try to imitate if I don’t topple it.

#ThisMorningIHadMyBackToHerWhileIWasDoingTheWashingUpAndAfterHearingALittleYellITurnedToSeeHerHangingOffOfIt

I guess she had stuck her legs through the gap then had let go and was doing a kind of back bend.

She is quite good at getting on and off it now so I thought I was okay to do the washing up. I often will just sit there and be ready to grab her if need be as I don’t want to say ‘careful’ to her too much. We need to get her a climbing frame.

#IThoughtAboutGrabbingMyPhoneAndTakingAPictureButLuckilyCommonSenseKickedInAndIGotToHerJustAsSheBeganToFallOff

I would have been way too slow to get a picture and I’m sure Tiago will witness it for himself at some point.

#MyInterpretationWillProbablyNotBeThatGreatAsIAmALotBiggerThanHerAndIAmPregnant

I need to be careful. I’ll move it into B’s room as there won’t be much space for all my kit in the kitchen and it’s awkward with my Nan around doing shoots.

(10th September: It was quite hard to photograph as B is small and I am big, and I’m pregnant. It hurt my knees…)

#TheBigDramaThoughWasBEatingSomeOfHerSkinCreamTheOtherDay

She’s been itching her chest a lot lately though the skin looks fine.

#IWentIntoHerRoomAndSawTheLidWasOffAndIWasSureIHadPutItBackOn

Now I am starting to think I didn’t as I was going to use it shortly, or B knocked it off.

#ThenIWasChangingHerNappyAndISawHerPutSomethingInHerMouthQuiteCasually #IRealisedItWasHerSkinCreamSoICalled111AndAfterTwentyMinutesIGotToSpeakToSomeone

She had just quite casually scooped her fingers in it and then put her fingers in her mouth. I realised quite quickly and pulled them away from her. Her bottom lip started to tremble like it does when she realises that I am stressed/annoyed. Calling 999 seemed liked overkill. It took me about 5 minutes to get to the right option. They said the website chat was quicker but not suitable for under 5s. Great.

#AfterGoingThroughALongChecklistTheySaidSomeoneWouldCallUsBackInABitButIfHerConditionChangedThenWeShouldCallBack

Well, waiting 20 minutes to tell them wouldn’t have been great.

#TheySaidItHasALowToxicityAndAsSheDidNotEatMuchSheWouldBeOkayAndSheHasBeenFine

Phew. That was a wakeup call.

#IAmSurprisedSomethingLikeThisHasNotHappenedBeforeButItWasNotAProudParentingMoment

It’s awkward to admit it, but yeah I screwed up. I had already forgotten about it though, but I send myself reminders of what to talk about in my next set of hashtags – I didn’t manage to fit everything into my last set, so some of these are things that I planned to say last time. I want to keep within Instagram’s post limits, but I’m getting too good at waffling on.

#AHealthVisitorCalledYesterdayAboutBAndTheQuestionnaireTheySentUsAFewMonthsAgoAboutHer

The one where they were like ‘we’re not coming round but you do this questionnaire’ while friends’ kids in Liverpool got seen in person. Still bitter.

#ISaidIHadNoConcernsButTheyAskedIfIWantedToBringHerInToWeighAndMeasureHer

Why not? I guess they just want to check on her. I wonder if they got flagged by my 111 call? Am I worried that I am on a watch list now? Maybe a little.

#ISaidYesButTheCentreIsQuiteAWayAwaySoTheySaidTheyCouldJustDoAHomeVisit

I don’t drive. I definitely won’t be in a rush to take public transport now with mask rules changing. Tiago has to work and I can’t expect him to drop us off everywhere all the time. I was quite relieved when they said they could do a home visit as the first three dates and times she said would have been a struggle for us. I guess their rules have changed and they will do home visits now. Shrug.

#IAmNowPotentiallyAQuarterOfTheWayThroughThePregnancy

I am hoping this baby will not be a 42 weeker. B arrived just before 39 weeks, so I hoping it will be similar.

#IAmSoBoredOfBeingSickAlreadyThoughIAmTryingMyBestToAvoidIt #IHaveBeenSickThirteenTimesWhichIKnowAsIAmMakingASequelToPukePortraits

I think I have said that I definitely feel worse when I stand up. Some days I feel sick all day and just have to stay as close to being seated as possible. Sometimes I am sick just to try to get the feeling to pass, but sometimes it doesn’t.

#LastNightIWasSickAfterBrushingMyTeethAndICouldNotGetTheSickTasteFromMyThroat

It was grim. I feel sick just thinking about it.

#WithBIWasGenerallyAlwaysSickInTheMorningButNowThereIsNotReallyAPattern

Looking at the times it bounces all over the place from morning, afternoon to night.

#InsomniaIsStartingToKickInAlreadyAndLastNightIWasAwakeFromThreeToFour

Great. Note to self: Don’t faff on social media to try to go back to sleep. It does not work. I’m currently reading Mythos by Stephen Fry, and after all the faffing I read a bit of that and it’s so intense that I felt sleepy quite quickly. I used to read a lot in the night when I had insomnia with B.

It seems a bit early to be having these bouts of waking up, but it is what it is.

#WeAreTryingToGetBToWakeUpLaterByChangingWhenSheHasHerMilkAndGivingHerMoreSnacksAndGivingHerYoghurtBeforeBedButSheGenerallyStillWakesUpEarly

Great. If she woke up at 6 every day it would not be so bad. Last night she was awake loads, but I think it is due to the front top tooth of hers that has been showing itself for a bit now.

Now we give her milk with her meals as we were giving it to her between them, but it can’t be that filling. Now she has fruit/veg snacks, and instead of having yoghurt straight after dinner she has it about an hour later.

#OneThingIAmEnjoyingIsMyCravingForBreakfastBurritosWhichIHaveInTheMorning #AWrapThreeHashBrownsTwoScrambledEggsAndDipsYum

I was craving them for about 3 days before I asked Tiago to get me all the components. I’ve had one for breakfast for the last week now. I seem to enjoy breakfast the most. Dinner is a struggle. I had a phase of that with B, when I had to eat pasta and veg for dinner every night.

#IAmDreamingALotMoreAndGenerallyTheyResultInMeGettingUpToLookForBAsIThinkSheHasFallenSomewhereInOurRoom #TiagoSaysHeOftenSeesMeWalkingOutOfTheRoomAndWondersWhereIAmGoing

Last night I dreamed that she had been sick and got yoghurt everywhere.

#IAmWorriedAboutMasksSoonNoLongerBeingLegallyRequiredAsIThinkALotOfPeopleWillNotWearThem #IDoNotGoCurrentlyGoOutToManyPlacesAndIThinkIWillFeelEvenMoreLimitedWithMyOptionsWhenTheRulesChange #IWorryThatPeopleWillFeelMoreComfortableWalkingCloserToPeopleWhoAreWearingMasksWhenTheyAreNotWearingThemThemselves

My last hashtag was originally ‘I’m debating getting a hi vis jacket that says keep the f away from me’. I guess I will feel better when I am vaccinated but being double vaccinated is still a way off for me. I definitely won’t be going to that soft play place where the under 5 section is right at the back of (what feels like) an unventilated warehouse and people weren’t wearing their masks properly a month+ ago. I’m currently fuming about the government’s decision to tell the general public to do what they think is best. I was 8 months pregnant with people walking right next to me a year ago. I was in hospital for 4 days with no visitors, and not long afterwards people were partying in a square and throwing fireworks. Meh. I have little faith in the English public. Soz.

#IHaveStartedToTakeBForWalksAtSevenInTheMorningInsteadOfGoingOutAfterTheSchoolsHaveFinishedForTheDay

I am always feeling so meh in the morning and it’s generally quite quiet apart from dog walkers (we’ve seen a couple of familiar faces the last couple of days which has been nice). I used to take her out when the kids were leaving school just due to her nap times, but the playground is too crowded these days and we don’t talk to anyone so what’s the point? Instead I try to cook dinner before I feel too sick. Fun times.

–

10 weeks pregnant with B comparison:

Self-portrait showing the bandage on my left arm where I had a blood test. My right hand is under my chin and I am pulling a piece of my hair.
Bloody Blood Tests (10 Weeks)
 
#WhatAWasteOfTime
#LuckilyTiagoCouldDropMeOffAndPickMeUpOrItWouldHaveTakenUpMoreOfMyMorningThanItAlreadyDid
#WeGotToTheHospitalEarlyAndDroveRoundTheWholeMultistoryCarParkAndCouldNotGetASpace
#AnnoyinglyThereWereAFewCarsInFrontOfUsAndWeWatchedThemGetTheLastSpaces
#InTheEndIGotOutOfTheCarAndLeftTiagoToTryToFindASpace
#HeDidNotSoHeWentToAShop
#ICouldNotFindTheRightBuilding
#KeptLookingAtMaps
#NoneOfTheSignsSaidTheBuildingINeeded
#InTheEndIHadToUseGoogleMaps
#IFinallyFoundIt
#WaitingAroundButIDidNotSignInSoIWasLikeHowDoTheyKnowIAmHere
#WentBackToReceptionAndTheySaidToJustGoIn
#StoodByTheDoorAndThePersonCameOver
#WentInAndShowedHerMyFolderAndSheSaidAreYouHavingScreenings
#Yes
#SoWhyDidSheMakeYouComeHereAsAtYourNextScanTheyWillDoBloodTests
#SheWasSoAnnoyed
#ThenIWasAnnoyedAsItWasAWasteOfTimeForUsAll
#LuckilyMyBloodCameOutThisTime
#NotThatItWouldHaveMattered
#IHadEatenAndDrankEnoughAndExercisedAndItWasNotSoEarlyInTheMorning
#AnnoyedForTiagoWastingHisTimeAndForMe
#LuckilyTodayWasADayForMyOwnStuffSoIJustWastedMyOwnTime
#ButIHaveSoMuchThatIWantToGetDone
#WasAWasteOfEveryonesTimeAndResources
#IAmLuckyAsItWasFreeForMe
#ButItIsWastingEveryonesMoney
#SoAnnoyed
#SoWillHaveBloodTakenAgainInLessThanAMonthsTime

I avoided this mess this time by having my first blood test at 13 weeks. This was due to covid and my inital appointment being over the phone (see last post).

I’ve also learned from these experiences and to have eaten food and be well hydrated for appointments.

Thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying my blog (and/or the work I make) please consider supporting me by ‘buying me a coffee’ on Ko-fi – thanks!

Categories
Pregnancy Waiting II

Imitating B Lying Under The Curtain (9 Weeks? / 3rd July 2021)

Self-portrait with my head under the bottom of a curtain.
Imitating B Lying Under The Curtain (9 Weeks? / 3rd July 2021)
 
#BHasPhasesOfBeingObsessedWithTheCurtainsInTheLivingRoom
#SometimesSheLeansAgainstThemButTheOtherDaySheWasLyingUnderOneOfThem
#AnotherCuteThingSheDoesNowIsIfISayCanIHaveAKissSheOffersMeHerHandToKiss
#IAmTryingToFigureOutWhySheDoesThisButIAmNotEntirelySure
#TheOtherDayItWasWaterPlayAtHerBabyClass
#TheOtherBabiesWereBeingHelpedToSplashInTheirBowlsButBWasJustDippingHerHandInAndLickingTheWaterOff
#AtSomePointSheTriedToPickUpTheBowlAndDrinkFromIt
#IFeltQuiteAwkwardAsOurUsualFriendsWereNotThereAndEveryoneElseHadQuiteYoungBabiesButItWasFunny
#WeAlsoHaveAGoodLaughAtHomeWhenISayIAmGoingToGetYouAndSheScreamsAndCrawlsOrMovesFastWhileHoldingOntoThings
#SheIsGraduallyTakingMoreStepsButIThinkAtTimesSheIsTryingToRunBeforeSheCanWalkProperly
#AtTimesIThinkIDefinitelyLookMorePregnantThanNineWeeksSoIAmEitherThirteenOrMyBodyIsJustShowingMoreAsIHaveBeenPregnantBefore
#TheShootsIHaveDoneSoFarThatShowABumpWereTakenNotLongAfterIHadAMealThough
#IThinkOftenIJustHaveABloatedFoodBabyAndAmJustNineWeeks
#ThisWeekIHaveBeenTryingToBeMoreHelpfulAtHomeAndHaveBeenStartingToMakeDinnerAtFour
#YesterdayITriedToMakeBsBreakfastForTheFirstTimeInProbablyTwoWeeksAndIWasSick
#IWasLettingTiagoHaveALieInButHeRushedDownstairsWhenHeHeardMeBeingSickAndTookOverLuckily
#TheOtherDayIHadA90MinutePhonecallForMyInitialMidwifeAppointment
#IThoughtItWasALongAppointmentLastTimeButGeezzzzzzz
#ItWasAStudentDoingItSoThatIsWhyItTookLongerButThereAlsoSeemedLikeMoreQuestionsThanBefore
#LuckilyTheyCalledJustAfterIHadPutBDownForANapSoSheEndedUpHavingAReallyLongNapButWePaidForItTheNextDayWhenSheWokeUpAtFour
#OnTheCallIAskedAboutWhenIShouldGetTheCovidVaccineAndTheyRecommendedAfter16WeeksSoIAmGladIHaveWaited
#TheyThenSaidToAskMyDoctorWhichVaccineHeRecommendsButISaidIDoNotTrustHimAsHeSaidToGetVaccinatedStraightAwayWeeksAgo
#AtTheMomentYouNeedToBeDoubleVaccinatedToNotHaveToQuarantineInPortugal
#SoItLooksLikeIWillBeSatInTiagosParentsHouseForTwoWeeksBeFreeForFiveDaysThenHaveToQuarantineInMyNansHouseForTenDays
#IAmNotSureWhatTheRulesWillBeForOneYearOldsButTiagoHasBothHisJabsSoHeWillBeMoreFree
#IHadToGoAndGetSomeBloodTestsDoneAndGiveAUrineSample
#SheSaidSheWasGoingToHaveToGetAnotherVialOfBloodAsIWasPregnantBeforeBWasOne
#ButThenSheSaidItWasFineAndSheWouldJustAddANoteWithOneOfTheOtherFourOrFiveVials
#INeedToStartEatingAndTakingMoreIronRichStuffAsMyStoresAreProbablyQuiteDepletedFromHavingB
#IHaveNoticedWhatIThinkIsAVaricoseVeinWhichWasNotOneOfMySymptomsWhenIWasPregnantWithB

#BHasPhasesOfBeingObsessedWithTheCurtainsInTheLivingRoom #SometimesSheLeansAgainstThemButTheOtherDaySheWasLyingUnderOneOfThem

One curtain is harder to get to due to furniture, but the other one is right by where her highchair is kept and by her books so it’s a popular hangout spot at times. I’m yet to do the shoot, but I need to find the energy to haul all my stuff there later when my Nan isn’t there thinking ‘what the hell is she doing?’

#AnotherCuteThingSheDoesNowIsIfISayCanIHaveAKissSheOffersMeHerHandToKiss #IAmTryingToFigureOutWhySheDoesThisButIAmNotEntirelySure

I guess that I blow her kisses occasionally but I don’t think that’s it? If I ask for a hug I put my arms out wide? I don’t know.

(7th September: If I ask for a kiss now she headbutts me. It seems her Portuguese Grandmother taught her how to butt heads when we were visiting her – there are a lot of bulls on the island, so I think it’s to do with that.)

#TheOtherDayItWasWaterPlayAtHerBabyClass

Guess who forgot to read their reminder to bring a towel… Luckily half the class forgot and the teachers had loads of spares. Phew.

#TheOtherBabiesWereBeingHelpedToSplashInTheirBowlsButBWasJustDippingHerHandInAndLickingTheWaterOff #AtSomePointSheTriedToPickUpTheBowlAndDrinkFromIt

Showing what she does at home when she has a bowl of yoghurt… I’ll try to feed her with a spoon, but she’ll get fed up and just dip her hands in. Or she will try to drink from the bowl. Classic. She did have one big splash though.

#IFeltQuiteAwkwardAsOurUsualFriendsWereNotThereAndEveryoneElseHadQuiteYoungBabiesButItWasFunny

The teachers are usually always just laughing at what B does in a good way, so they put me at ease. However, I do feel a bit judged at times. I guess when the other babies are older the parents will understand my struggles more…

#WeAlsoHaveAGoodLaughAtHomeWhenISayIAmGoingToGetYouAndSheScreamsAndCrawlsOrMovesFastWhileHoldingOntoThings

When T carries her up the stairs to bed she will also scream if I am following. I seem to forget about this every night, but she doesn’t… Sometimes I’ll say I’m going to get you and if T is in the kitchen she’ll go to him and he will pick her up. I’ll then pop my head around the door and roar and she goes ‘ohh’ and jumps. Cute and funny.

#SheIsGraduallyTakingMoreStepsButIThinkAtTimesSheIsTryingToRunBeforeSheCanWalkProperly

She will try to go a bit too fast and fall, but she is taking a few solid steps now and will often do about six.

#AtTimesIThinkIDefinitelyLookMorePregnantThanNineWeeksSoIAmEitherThirteenOrMyBodyIsJustShowingMoreAsIHaveBeenPregnantBefore #TheShootsIHaveDoneSoFarThatShowABumpWereTakenNotLongAfterIHadAMealThough #IThinkOftenIJustHaveABloatedFoodBabyAndAmJustNineWeeks

I guess the real teller is when I wake up in the morning and I haven’t eaten since before bed. There is definitely a bump there, but after a meal it is usually a lot bigger. Looking at my Waiting… pregnancy project I think I look more pregnant for 9 weeks than I did then, but I am sure that I have read that you generally show earlier with subsequent pregnancies. I guess everything is more stretched…?

(7th September: I was 9 weeks.)

#ThisWeekIHaveBeenTryingToBeMoreHelpfulAtHomeAndHaveBeenStartingToMakeDinnerAtFour

Tiago works hard and I feel like I am quite rubbish with running a home. I have definitely slacked off since morning sickness has appeared, especially as I feel sickest when I am standing up, but I want to help as much as I can.

#YesterdayITriedToMakeBsBreakfastForTheFirstTimeInProbablyTwoWeeksAndIWasSick

Tiago has been great at getting up to look after B and making her breakfast. I managed to make her a new batch of porridge, but turning it into pancakes… my body said nah. We were talking about it in bed last night and just talking about it made me feel sick.

#IWasLettingTiagoHaveALieInButHeRushedDownstairsWhenHeHeardMeBeingSickAndTookOverLuckily

Phew. I also can’t deal with looking at B’s face after a meal when it’s covered in food. Blergh.

#TheOtherDayIHadA90MinutePhonecallForMyInitialMidwifeAppointment #IThoughtItWasALongAppointmentLastTimeButGeezzzzzzz

Epic does not cut it.

#ItWasAStudentDoingItSoThatIsWhyItTookLongerButThereAlsoSeemedLikeMoreQuestionsThanBefore

I feel like they asked me every possible question. It is quite intrusive at times, but I understand why they might need to ask them all.

(7th September: It turns out that she managed to tick that I don’t speak English, and that I’ve had a major uterine surgery – these things get brought up in appointments now.)

#LuckilyTheyCalledJustAfterIHadPutBDownForANapSoSheEndedUpHavingAReallyLongNapButWePaidForItTheNextDayWhenSheWokeUpAtFour

They said they would call sometime between one and four. I’m lucky that B slept that long, but yeah the early morning wake ups aren’t great. We are trying to change B’s feeding schedule now to see if it might help her sleep better. This morning she was up at 5, but we did only start the new schedule yesterday afternoon. I just need to start to go to bed earlier.

#OnTheCallIAskedAboutWhenIShouldGetTheCovidVaccineAndTheyRecommendedAfter16WeeksSoIAmGladIHaveWaited

I was going to aim for 14 weeks as that is when some countries start to offer jabs to pregnant people. Apparently the advice is changing all of the time, but I had not seen 16 weeks mentioned online. Maybe it is just my local midwives who recommend 16 weeks?

(7th September: I ended up having it at 13 weeks as the advice changed to be more consistent, and I attended a good talk about it.)

#TheyThenSaidToAskMyDoctorWhichVaccineHeRecommendsButISaidIDoNotTrustHimAsHeSaidToGetVaccinatedStraightAwayWeeksAgo

I know I am only offered Moderna or Pfizer, but I would only be offered them due to my age anyways too. I know that women over 40 who are pregnant are also only offered those two.

#AtTheMomentYouNeedToBeDoubleVaccinatedToNotHaveToQuarantineInPortugal #SoItLooksLikeIWillBeSatInTiagosParentsHouseForTwoWeeksBeFreeForFiveDaysThenHaveToQuarantineInMyNansHouseForTenDays

We want B to meet her grandparents so she will. I wish his parents had a swimming pool at their house, but oh well… I imagine quarantine as not being able to leave the house, but I forget that you can sit in the garden too. We were meant to be staying on another island for a few days by ourselves (with B), but we will now cancel that and see if we can change our flight as it is pointless going there now.

#IAmNotSureWhatTheRulesWillBeForOneYearOldsButTiagoHasBothHisJabsSoHeWillBeMoreFree

Apparently those who have had the AstraZeneca jab that has been made in India will have to quarantine for fourteen days too. Tiago had the AZ one, but now we need to find out what batch it was and if he has to quarantine or not. Fun times.

(7th September: Rules changed so we did not have to quarantine in the Azores, and then they got put on the green list so I am free in the UK now.)

#IHadToGoAndGetSomeBloodTestsDoneAndGiveAUrineSample

Great.

#SheSaidSheWasGoingToHaveToGetAnotherVialOfBloodAsIWasPregnantBeforeBWasOne

Something about my iron stores.

#ButThenSheSaidItWasFineAndSheWouldJustAddANoteWithOneOfTheOtherFourOrFiveVials

I just looked away while she kept changing the vials. I don’t mind needles, but I was more worried that I might be sick or something.

#INeedToStartEatingAndTakingMoreIronRichStuffAsMyStoresAreProbablyQuiteDepletedFromHavingB

I take some iron rich water and when I was pregnant with B I kept taking one sachet though when you’re pregnant you can take two. When I remember I try to take two now (different times of the day), but it’s a faff.

#IHaveNoticedWhatIThinkIsAVaricoseVeinWhichWasNotOneOfMySymptomsWhenIWasPregnantWithB

I looked at it today and it currently looks like more of a bruise, but the other day it looked more veiny. Shrug. Just reading about the symptoms and maybe it’s not as I just noticed it when I was exercising, but it doesn’t hurt or anything.

–

9 weeks pregnant with B comparison:

Self-portrait holding a scan over my tummy. Tiago's hand is on my left shoulder
I Keep Looking At The Scan As I Can Not Believe It (9 and a half weeks)
 
#SoWeWentToTheHospital
#HadAnAppointmentButWaitedNearlyAnHour
#MaybeBecauseOtherPeopleNeededLookingAtMoreUrgently
#SomePeopleDidLookLikeTheyWereInALotOfPain
#IThoughtIShouldHaveAFullBladderIfTheyDidAScan
#SoIWasBurstingForTheToilet
#TheyFinallyCalledMeAndAskedIfINeededToGoToTheLoo
#SoThatWasDiscomfortForNoReasonAsItWasAnInternalExam
#ThePersonExaminingMeWasBeingTestedSoThereWere3PeopleInTheRoomPlusTiago
#TheyGaveMeASheetForDignityAndIApologisedForHavingHairyLegsThoughTheySaidNothingInReply
#TheySaidTheyWereTryingToGiveMeDignityButIAmUsedToHavingMoreInvasiveExaminationsThatInvolveSpeculumsSoIWasNotSureWhereTheSheetWasMeantToBe 
#TiagoSawTheToolTheyWereGoingToUseAndIWasLikeWelcomeToAWomansWorld
#ItWasNotThatBadJustABitColdAndTheWaitingRoomHadBeenSoHot
#BeforeLongTheyTurnedTheScreenAndShowedUsTheLittleHumanInsideOfMe
#SheSaidCanYouSeeTheFlickerThatIsTheHeartbeat
#AndIStartedToCryHappyTearsAsIWasRelievedAndItWasSoSurreal
#AndISaidItIsSoWeirdAsIThoughtPregnancyWasSomethingThatHappenedToOtherPeopleAndNotMeAndItIsSoWeirdSeeingThatLittleThingInsideOfMe
#SheLookedAroundThoroughly
#ItWasGoodThatSheHadSomeoneElseTalkingToHerAsIKnowThatTheyBothHadAGoodLookAndDidNotSeeAnyIssues
#TheTesterSaidIHadTheBestOvariesThatSheHadSeenTodayAndCalledThemBeautiful 
#SheGaveUsAPicture
#TheySaidThatIfItHappensAgainIShouldBookAnotherAppointment
#AsBleedingIsNotUncommonButItStillIsNotNormal
#IAmGladTheyWereEncouragingAsIWouldNotWantToBeSeenAsAnnoying
#IHaveBledALittleSinceButIGuessItIsBecauseTheyHadThatToolInsideMeForAtLeast10Minutes
#IThoughtIWas9WeeksTodayButTheySaidItIsMoreLike9DaysAnd4Or5Days
#IAmGuessingItWillChangeAgainButThatMeansIAmNearlyAQuarterOfTheWayThroughIfAllGoesWell
#TimeHasPassedQuickly
#IKeepLookingAtTheScanAsICanNotBelieveIt
#NanThinksItIsABoyAsSheSaysTheyCauseTroubleFromTheStart

Fingers crossed I do not have any scares this time, though I still feel anxious about being pregnant. I didn’t have a scan this time until I had my first scheduled one, which for me was at 13 weeks. My next one is coming up soon.

Thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying my blog (and/or the work I make) please consider supporting me by ‘buying me a coffee’ on Ko-fi – thanks!

Categories
Pregnancy Waiting II

General Documenting Pregnancy Shoot (9 Weeks? / 28th June 2021)

Self-portrait of me looking at the camera in a bra and leggings. I am holding onto my elbow, and there is a bit of a baby bump showing.
General Documenting Pregnancy Shoot (9 Weeks? / 28th June 2021)
 
#TypicallyIGotAnAppointmentLetterForAScanTheSameDayThatISaidIHadHeardNothing
#AnnoyinglyItIsTheOneDayThatTiagoCanNotDoForSureSoWeWillHaveToWaitAnotherWeekNow
#TheLetterDoesNotSayIfTiagoCanAttendOrNotButIGuessTheRulesMayChangeByThenAnyways
#IRealiseThatIThoughtIMayBePregnantAsIGotSomeSpotsButTheyMayHaveBeenCausedByMeWearingAMask
#ThoughPerhapsItIsACombinationOfHormonesAndAMaskMakingThemWorseThanNormal
#IFeelHappierLatelyWhichIsProbablyAlsoACombinationOfHormonesAndHavingSomethingToCountdownToAfterMonthsOfFeelingABitLost
#ItHasAlsoBeenGoodToSeeMorePeopleLately
#WeJustHadAFewNightsAwayWhereWeCaughtUpWithLotsOfPeople
#ItWasReallyNiceToJustSeePeopleRegularlyForAFewDays
#ItWasAlsoAGlimpseOfHowItMightBeHavingTwoKids
#BDoesLikeBabiesButSheAlsoLikesToRunAroundAfterBiggerKids
#SheWasQuiteConfidentAtTakingTheirStuffAndDidNotSeemToCareWhenTheyGotAnnoyed
#ItWasAlsoAGoodReminderThatTheSecondKidWillNotDoVeryMuchForAWhile
#SoAtLeastYouCanPutThemDownAndFindThemThereAgainTenSecondsLater
#IAmJustNotLookingForwardToTheConstantFeedingAndNappyChangingAgain
#IHopeBreastfeedingWillBeEasierNextTimeButWeWillHaveToWaitAndSee
#WeTriedToExperimentWithTheLengthOfBsNapsAndHerBedtimeButSheStillWokeUpEarlierThanWeWanted
#WeSharedARoomWithHerSoItProbablyDidNotHelpEncourageHerToFallBackToSleep
#YesterdaySheSleptForAnHourAndAHalfInTheCarThenWentToBedAtSevenFortyFiveAndSheWokeUpAtFiveThirtyToday
#WeHadBeenTryingCuttingHerSecondNapToThirtyMinutesAndPuttingHerToBedAtEightAndSheWasWakingUpAtFive
#SoSheCanJustKeepHavingAnHourNapAtHerSecondNapAndGoToBedAtSevenThirty
#IGuessWeAreLuckyThatAtLeastSheSleepsQuiteSolidlyForAGoodAmountOfTime
#SheSeemsToKnowHerNapAndBedtimeRoutinesNowAndSheEitherClingsToTheSideOfHerCotOrLiesDownNextToItAsITryToGetHerReady
#YesterdayTiagoLookedAfterBAndIWentBackToSleep
#IDreamtThatWeWereAwayAndWeSaidYesToBGoingSwimmingInASmallFountain
#ItThenTurnedOutToBeAMassiveSwimmingPoolAndICouldNotSeeBAndAllTheKidsWereInTheSameCostumesWithTheSameFloats
#IStartedToShoutHadAnyoneSeenHer
#IThenWokeMyselfUpAsIDidNotWantToDealWithTheStress
#IToldTiagoAndHeSaidDoYouKnowThatYouOftenWakeUpInTheMiddleOfTheNightAndLookForB
#YesIDo

I’m yet to do a shoot, but I’ve called it General Documenting Pregnancy Shoot for now as I want to experiment a bit today and not pretend to be a one year old for once.

(3rd September 2021: I have a habit of doing shoots just after eating, so I look a bit more pregnant than I was. I’ve already copied this shoot once, and I plan to do it at least a few more times during the pregnancy.)

#TypicallyIGotAnAppointmentLetterForAScanTheSameDayThatISaidIHadHeardNothing

It’s always the way.

#AnnoyinglyItIsTheOneDayThatTiagoCanNotDoForSureSoWeWillHaveToWaitAnotherWeekNow

What’s another week? I’m impatient though.

#TheLetterDoesNotSayIfTiagoCanAttendOrNotButIGuessTheRulesMayChangeByThenAnyways

I was going to ask, but then I didn’t. The woman on the phone did say that the letter has a lot of incorrect and missing information on it though. I knew that as the line said it was open until 5, but it closed at 2:30 and I initially called at 2:50 to change my appointment so I had to wait until the next day. Fun times.

#IRealiseThatIThoughtIMayBePregnantAsIGotSomeSpotsButTheyMayHaveBeenCausedByMeWearingAMask

I’m sure I mentioned this in a previous set of hashtags. I don’t really get spots that often – unless I have been eating a lot of bad foods. I was reading something the other day and then I thought ‘ah yeah maybe the spots are more due to wearing a mask?’

#ThoughPerhapsItIsACombinationOfHormonesAndAMaskMakingThemWorseThanNormal

I guess I wear a mask for the same amount of time each week, so it must have been a combination of both? I have some really bad ones on the right side of my face right now.

#IFeelHappierLatelyWhichIsProbablyAlsoACombinationOfHormonesAndHavingSomethingToCountdownToAfterMonthsOfFeelingABitLost

If I could bottle these hormones (but not have morning sickness all the time) I’d take them for life, but I guess when I was pregnant with B I had also been feeling lost previously too.

#ItHasAlsoBeenGoodToSeeMorePeopleLately

Seeing people that I have not seen for a year or two or more…

#WeJustHadAFewNightsAwayWhereWeCaughtUpWithLotsOfPeople

Three couples and their kids (they all have two kids each).

#ItWasReallyNiceToJustSeePeopleRegularlyForAFewDays

People to hang out with while we watched the kids and passed time quite nicely. Hurrah. Luckily the weather was nice!

#ItWasAlsoAGlimpseOfHowItMightBeHavingTwoKids

They varied in age from 11 weeks to 9 years.

#BDoesLikeBabiesButSheAlsoLikesToRunAroundAfterBiggerKids

She is intrigued by babies, but she also likes to follow older kids.

#SheWasQuiteConfidentAtTakingTheirStuffAndDidNotSeemToCareWhenTheyGotAnnoyed

The determination/nonchalance on her face…

#ItWasAlsoAGoodReminderThatTheSecondKidWillNotDoVeryMuchForAWhile

I had kind of forgotten how babies are. I guess I am the most concerned about all the night feedings, and B going down to one nap very soon.

#SoAtLeastYouCanPutThemDownAndFindThemThereAgainTenSecondsLater

I forget that they are quite happy just lying on a mat, looking at the ceiling or toys etc.

#IAmJustNotLookingForwardToTheConstantFeedingAndNappyChangingAgain

It is going to be a juggle, but it will be worth it in the end.

#IHopeBreastfeedingWillBeEasierNextTimeButWeWillHaveToWaitAndSee

I feel like I have forgotten everything already, but I’m sure some things will come back to me.

#WeTriedToExperimentWithTheLengthOfBsNapsAndHerBedtimeButSheStillWokeUpEarlierThanWeWanted

Great.

#WeSharedARoomWithHerSoItProbablyDidNotHelpEncourageHerToFallBackToSleep

It is easier to try to let her go back to sleep when you’re not there next to her. She slept better than I thought she would though with the shared room situation. We just tried to only go in the room when we wanted to go to sleep. Sometimes she woke up, but she quickly went back to sleep.

#YesterdaySheSleptForAnHourAndAHalfInTheCarThenWentToBedAtSevenFortyFiveAndSheWokeUpAtFiveThirtyToday

On the way there she was just awake the whole time when I wanted to sleep. Yesterday we both napped. Poor Tiago…

#WeHadBeenTryingCuttingHerSecondNapToThirtyMinutesAndPuttingHerToBedAtEightAndSheWasWakingUpAtFive #SoSheCanJustKeepHavingAnHourNapAtHerSecondNapAndGoToBedAtSevenThirty

I was relieved as I like for her to have more than half an hour so I can get things done. I probably need to try cutting her nap to 30 minutes then putting her to bed earlier, but I feel like she just likes to wake up between 5 and 5:40.

#IGuessWeAreLuckyThatAtLeastSheSleepsQuiteSolidlyForAGoodAmountOfTime

We just need to go to bed earlier. The last two nights we have been watching football (Euros). I like football, but not that much football. I could have gone to bed at 8pm last night easily, but oh well. Portugal are out now, but Tiago is suddenly more interested in England.

#SheSeemsToKnowHerNapAndBedtimeRoutinesNowAndSheEitherClingsToTheSideOfHerCotOrLiesDownNextToItAsITryToGetHerReady

Well, this was just while we were away. I would just be sorting something out and she would be there clinging to it or next to it. It’s good though.

#YesterdayTiagoLookedAfterBAndIWentBackToSleep

Thanks Tiago.

#IDreamtThatWeWereAwayAndWeSaidYesToBGoingSwimmingInASmallFountain #ItThenTurnedOutToBeAMassiveSwimmingPoolAndICouldNotSeeBAndAllTheKidsWereInTheSameCostumesWithTheSameFloats #IStartedToShoutHadAnyoneSeenHer #IThenWokeMyselfUpAsIDidNotWantToDealWithTheStress

I realised it was a dream/nightmare, so there was no way I was going to stay there getting stressed out within it.

#IToldTiagoAndHeSaidDoYouKnowThatYouOftenWakeUpInTheMiddleOfTheNightAndLookForB #YesIDo

I still have dreams where I think she has fallen out of our bed or is out of her cot or something. Oh the fun. I’m going to try to have a quick lie down now before she wakes up. Hopefully she will sleep for another hour, but sometimes she wakes up earlier. She is teething again, and her skin is itchy again though it looks normal. Fun timessss.

–

8 weeks pregnant with B comparison:

(I should have posted these in the last post, but oh well. I only did one shoot for 8 weeks, but I don’t want to miss them out.)

I have a long necked top on that is covering the bottom of my nose. My hair is hanging long down one side. I am dressed in dark clothing.
Day Before Haircut (8 Weeks)
 
#IAmSoBoredOfTheWinterAlready
#ITryToWashMyHairEvery5DaysIfICan
#IDreadWashingIt
#WellNotTheWashingItSoMuchButMoreTheDryingIt
#AndComingOutOfTheShowerWithALotOfWetHair
#IHaveBeenTryingToSeeHowLongICanGrowItForPhotographicPurposes
#ButIAmTooLowMaintenanceForThis
#ThereIsJustTooMuchHairToDry
#InTheSummerItIsNotTooBadAndItIsABitRefreshing
#ButHavingToPutTheHeaterOnBecauseMyHairIsTooAnnoying
#AndSpendingAgesBlowDryingIt
#Nah
#EspeciallyNowThatIAmPregnantIJustReallyCanNotBeBothered
#IFeelLikeIWillEndUpCuttingItOffSoonAnyways
#SoMightAsWellDoItNowAndSaveMyselfALotOfTimeOverTheWinter
#LetsSeeThough
#AsOftenITalkAboutCuttingItShorter
#ButMyHairdresserDoesNotWantMeToDislikeItAfter
#ItWillNotBeSuperSuperShort
#AsIWantToBeAbleToTieItBackStill
#ButThatWillBeABigImprovementIThink
#MyHairMightBeKeepingMeABitWarmAtTheMoment
#ButICanWearAHat
#SayingMyHairdresserSoundsFunny
#ButIHaveBeenGoingToTheSamePlaceForYEARS
#ThereHaveBeenPhasesWhereIHaveNot
#ButILikeToCatchUpWithEveryoneThere
#AndIUsedToBeSoAwkwardAndSitInSilence
#AndAvoidLookingAtMyselfInTheMirror
#MyHairdresserAndILaughAboutHowAwkwardIUsedToBeAllTheTime

I recently had my hair cut off, but I was not at the same stage of pregnancy.

I cut it off due to wanting it to be lower maintenance and because it is harder to bend over the bath to wash my hair – my preferred way to do it, but I did not have that option when I was pregnant with B due to the bathroom set-up.

I can not really wear it down now as it gets so frizzy/wild, so I usually just tie up the top bit of it in a messy bun.

I now live close to my hairdressers again, so I’m going to the same place…

I am wearing a striped top and my arms are wrapped around me. I am looking at the camera.
Day After Haircut (8 Weeks)

#NotMuchToSayIThink
#GotAHaircut
#ItWasTooMuchHassleHavingLongHair
#MyHairdresserStraightenedItAndWhatever
#SoNotSureHowItWillLookWhenIHaveWashedAndBlowDriedItMyself
#ProbablyALotFluffier
#IWantedItLongEnoughToTieBack
#ButItIsAtALengthWhereIHaveToUseStrongTiesAsOtherwiseItFallsOut
#ItWillBeFine
#IDoNotLikeHowJustCutHairLooksOnMe
#TheEndsAreTooSharp
#ButIGuessItIsAlsoBecauseItIsStraight
#ButOftenIDoNotLikeHowTiagosHairLooksAfterHeHasJustHadItCut
#AfterAFewDaysItSeemsBetterButAlsoMaybeIJustGetUsedToIt
#FeelingABitSickNow
#BoredOfThisSickBusiness
#ILookPregnantHereButIAmJustBloated
#AndThisIsWhyIDoNotLikeTightTops
#ButISomehowDecidedToBuySomeTopsLikeThis
#ToBeFairTheyWereInAPacketAndIThoughtTheyWereLooserLikeOtherOnesIHave
#FunTimes
#GoingToGoSoakMyFeetAsIFeelLikeTheyNeedSomeLove
#ThenReadMyBookAboutTheSpiceGirls

I love how I say I look pregnant when I clearly don’t…

I have been caring less about what I wear as I am usually at home.

–

9 weeks pregnant with B comparison:

Self-portrait holding my NHS-issued pregnancy book. I look sad and have my arms crossed over the folder.
Bleeding Worry (9 Weeks)
 
#SoLastNightThingsFeltABitFunny
#AndIWasFeelingTooScaredToGoToTheBathroom
#AfterAWhileIWentAsIWantedToBrushMyTeeth
#AndThereWasBlood
#NotLoadsButMoreThanIHaveBledSoFarAndAReallyIntenseColour
#IWasHavingCramps
#IStillHaveSomeCrampsAndWeirdFeelings
#ItCouldBeAFewThings
#HadABusyWeekWhichIsWhyIDecidedThatINeededToStayInAndRestLastNight
#YesterdayIAccidentallyJabbedMyselfInTheStomachWithMyPhoneInMyPocket
#IAteSomethingFromAJarThatWas3WeeksOutOfDate
#ThatIsAwkwardToAdmitButItWasVegetablesAndIHadJustOpenedIt
#IUsedALotOfMoisturiserOnMyBodyWhenIUsuallyRarelyUseAny
#IFeelLikeThereWasSomethingElseButICanNotRemember
#ItCouldAllBeFineButIAmExpectingTheWorst
#LuckilyIHaveAnAppointmentForThisAfternoonAtTheHospital
#MyLeafletSaidToCallIfIHaveAnyBleedingOrPain
#AsThoughItIsNotUncommonItNeedsToBeCheckedOut
#CalledTheNumberAndOption1WasEmergency
#IFeltAwkwardPressing1SoIPressedForAllOtherEnquiriesAndThenShePutMeThroughToTheEmergencyLine
#ItIsInAFewHoursButThisMorningIsDraggingSoMuch
#IWasNotSickToday
#MyBoobsAreNotSore
#MyNoseDoesNotFeelFull
#FeelsLikeMostOfMySymptomsHaveGone
#WeCanOnlyWaitAndSee
#LastNightIJustCriedInTiagosArms
#InThePhotoIAmHoldingMyFolderOfNotesThatINeedToTakeToEveryAppointment
#DuringTheShootItFeltLikeSomethingWasJabbingMe
#IDoNotKnowWhatNormalIsSupposedToFeelLikeWhenPregnant

Luckily I have not had a scare like this yet this pregnancy. I’ve been getting bad cramps, which seem stronger than when I was pregnant with B but maybe I’ve just forgotten how things are.

B’s been accidentally kicking and punching me in my stomach loads.

My folder of notes is just a tiny booklet instead this time. Birmingham seems to use an app for all my notes?

I still feel like I do not know what normal is when pregnant, and I get anxious at times, but I just have to take some deep breaths and hope that everything will go the same as last time. I am just hoping that this baby will come out head first this time…

Thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying my blog (and/or the work I make) please consider supporting me by ‘buying me a coffee’ on Ko-fi – thanks!