Month: July 2021

Categories
Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Failing To Imitate B Playing With Her Socks While B Tried To Make It Look Like She Took The Photo (26th May 2021)

Self-portrait in a dark pink jumper holding one sock against my head and one against my chin. The hand of my daughter appears from the bottom centre of the frame and she is holding a shutter release button.
Failing To Imitate B Playing With Her Socks While B Tried To Make It Look Like She Took The Photo (26th May 2021)
 
#WeKeepALotOfHerSocksInTheLivingRoomByHerJacketsSoThatWeCanPutThemOnBeforeGoingOut
#BHasANewishThingOfGettingThemAndJustPlayingWithThem
#SheMainlyWavesThemAroundButSometimesSheTriesToEatThem
#SomeGoodNewsIsThatIPassedMyDrivingTheoryTestThisWeek
#MyMumWatchedBWhileIWentIntoBirminghamCityCentre
#TheTrainWasBusierThanLastTimeAndSeeingOtherKidsBeingPushedAroundInPushchairsMadeMeMissB
#INeedToFindTheCourageToTakeHerThereSometimeButIFeelABitWorried
#IHaveNotTakenHerThatFarAwayFromHomeByMyselfBeforeButIShouldTryToDoItSoon
#InTwoWeeksTiagoWillHaveAWeekOffSoIAmLookingForwardToThat
#MaybeWeWillGoToBirminghamThenSoAtLeastItWillNotBeSoScaryAsTakingHerByMyself
#IWasSurprisedThatIPassedMyTestAsThereWereAFewThingsIKnewNothingAbout
#NowIJustNeedToFindADrivingInstructorAndGetDrivingWhichIAmExcitedForButAlsoNervousAbout
#IQuicklyWentToAGalleryAfterwardsWhichWasMyFirstVisitToOneSinceMovingToBirmingham
#IHadToGetBackHomeToTakeBToHerBabyClassSoItWasASuperSpeedyVisit
#TheNightBeforeMyTestBWasWakingUpEveryTwoHoursOrSoWhichSheNeverDoes
#IThinkSheIsTeethingAndSheIsNotVeryWell
#TheOtherMorningSheFellAsleepOnMyNanLessThanAnHourAfterSheHadWokenUpWhichSheRarelyDoes
#IAmFineAfterHavingAToothRemovedButNowTiagoHasAToothThatIsPlayingUp
#HeManagedToGetToTheDentistYesterdayAndTheyGaveHimSomePenicillin
#IfWeManageToMakeItToPortugalThisSummerThenTiagosDentistCousinWillSortHimOut
#WeManagedToGetToBsClassOnTimeAndAfterwardsIThoughtSheWouldNotNapOnTheWayHome
#IHadPutHerHoodUpAndAfter5MinutesICheckedOnHerAndItWasAllTheWayDownToHerMouthAndSheWasAsleep
#SheWasSleepingVeryHeavilyWhileIPushedHerAroundThenJustSatOnABench
#MyLegsWereLikeJellyAsIWasNotUsedToWalkingSoMuchInOneDay
#LastNightIWasLyingDownOnTheFloorAndBCameOver
#IThoughtWeWereGoingToHaveASweetMomentButSheStuckHerThumbUpMyNose
#ItWasFunnyButItDidHurtAndMyNoseBledABit
#NextWeekIsHalfTermWhichMeansHerClassesAndGroupsWillNotBeRunning
#TheWeatherIsGettingBetterAtLeastSoHopefullyWeCanJustSitInTheParkMore
#IAmYetToTryGoingToSoftPlayAgainButIShouldGiveTheOneWeHaveNotGoneToAChance

#WeKeepALotOfHerSocksInTheLivingRoomByHerJacketsSoThatWeCanPutThemOnBeforeGoingOut

It would probably make more sense to put them in her room by her changing mat, but they get washed and end up just hanging around there. Sorry Nan.

#BHasANewishThingOfGettingThemAndJustPlayingWithThem

Nice.

#SheMainlyWavesThemAroundButSometimesSheTriesToEatThem

She gets quite excited waving them about. I’m yet to do the shoot, but that’s what I imagine I’ll copy. Maybe capture some movement in an arty way?

(26th July: Nope, just me pressing them to my face while B messed about around me. The camera was taking pictures every couple of seconds – easier to do when you’re trying to hold a sock in each hand and have a young child moving about.)

#SomeGoodNewsIsThatIPassedMyDrivingTheoryTestThisWeek

Hurrahhhh. No more revising!

#MyMumWatchedBWhileIWentIntoBirminghamCityCentre

Thanks Mum.

#TheTrainWasBusierThanLastTimeAndSeeingOtherKidsBeingPushedAroundInPushchairsMadeMeMissB

It felt weird to be out without B again. As I’ve said before I always say that I want some time off mothering, but then I miss B.

#INeedToFindTheCourageToTakeHerThereSometimeButIFeelABitWorried

I think the main thing is finding somewhere nice where we can get lunch – any suggestions dear one reader? And then timing things well for her nap. Soon she will be dropping a nap though so then maybe it will be a good time for trips?

If we were in Liverpool still I would be taking her to all of the museums and the city centre as we were so close to them.

#IHaveNotTakenHerThatFarAwayFromHomeByMyselfBeforeButIShouldTryToDoItSoon

Yeah, I’m nervous. Would be great to take her there though.

#InTwoWeeksTiagoWillHaveAWeekOffSoIAmLookingForwardToThat

His first week off since the start of October. Of course I’m excited!

#MaybeWeWillGoToBirminghamThenSoAtLeastItWillNotBeSoScaryAsTakingHerByMyself

Maybe we’ll go to the Sea Life Centre and get lunch?

#IWasSurprisedThatIPassedMyTestAsThereWereAFewThingsIKnewNothingAbout

I should have revised level crossings more obviously. I can’t remember the last time I saw one – I used to love them when I was a kid. There was one close to where we’d stay on holiday and we’d often just park near it and wait for trains. We sound so cool…

#NowIJustNeedToFindADrivingInstructorAndGetDrivingWhichIAmExcitedForButAlsoNervousAbout

*Nervous laugh*. It’ll be alright. I just want to get on with it, but I know there is a massive backlog for tests. I need to have a few lessons with a teacher then Tiago said he can take me out in his car. I’m nervous about that too.

#IQuicklyWentToAGalleryAfterwardsWhichWasMyFirstVisitToOneSinceMovingToBirmingham

I was not sure if I would have time to even get there as it was far from the test centre, but I managed it. I ate a pasty (classic) on the walk there.

#IHadToGetBackHomeToTakeBToHerBabyClassSoItWasASuperSpeedyVisit

If it wasn’t for Covid I could have left it, but I had to book a ticket and I had made a donation so I did not want to not go.

#TheNightBeforeMyTestBWasWakingUpEveryTwoHoursOrSoWhichSheNeverDoes

Of course it started as I put my head down to sleep.

#IThinkSheIsTeethingAndSheIsNotVeryWell

🙁

#TheOtherMorningSheFellAsleepOnMyNanLessThanAnHourAfterSheHadWokenUpWhichSheRarelyDoes

My Nan also fell asleep so they both looked cute.

#IAmFineAfterHavingAToothRemovedButNowTiagoHasAToothThatIsPlayingUp

Great. Typically he lost a filling on it (I think it’s that one) before the pandemic, and after months of me badgering him to get it looked at he did and they said it was fine as it was not causing him pain, then bam.

#HeManagedToGetToTheDentistYesterdayAndTheyGaveHimSomePenicillin

Bless him.

#IfWeManageToMakeItToPortugalThisSummerThenTiagosDentistCousinWillSortHimOut

I think he needs quite a few things done and the dentist yesterday said he should be able to make it until then.

#WeManagedToGetToBsClassOnTimeAndAfterwardsIThoughtSheWouldNotNapOnTheWayHome

She is such a wriggler at that class. Yesterday she was stealing everyone’s leaves.

#IHadPutHerHoodUpAndAfter5MinutesICheckedOnHerAndItWasAllTheWayDownToHerMouthAndSheWasAsleep

I was hoping to get home and then we could both nap, but she was obviously tired from waking up loads the night before.

#SheWasSleepingVeryHeavilyWhileIPushedHerAroundThenJustSatOnABench

Bless her. I will have to remember the hood trick in future.

#MyLegsWereLikeJellyAsIWasNotUsedToWalkingSoMuchInOneDay

I was knackered. Probably all the studying has been tiring my brain out too so no wonder I have been quite tired.

#LastNightIWasLyingDownOnTheFloorAndBCameOver #IThoughtWeWereGoingToHaveASweetMomentButSheStuckHerThumbUpMyNose

Lol.

#ItWasFunnyButItDidHurtAndMyNoseBledABit

It still hurts a little bit now… Tiago was on the phone to his friend so they were both just laughing.

#NextWeekIsHalfTermWhichMeansHerClassesAndGroupsWillNotBeRunning

Great…

#TheWeatherIsGettingBetterAtLeastSoHopefullyWeCanJustSitInTheParkMore

I want to find her a trike or something that I can push her around on.

#IAmYetToTryGoingToSoftPlayAgainButIShouldGiveTheOneWeHaveNotGoneToAChance

I am a bit worried about it being as disappointing as the other one. I just need to make some friends who want to go to soft play and try having lunch at one of them, but we shall have to see.

(26th July: We’re still yet to go to one… Sorry B.)

Thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying my blog (and/or the work I make) please consider supporting me by ‘buying me a coffee’ on Ko-fi – thanks!

Categories
Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Imitating B When She Gets Shy (23rd May 2021)

Imitating B When She Gets Shy (23rd May 2021)
 
#AtLeastIThinkItIsWhenSheIsShyOrIsPerhapsPretendingToBe
#OftenSheWillCrawlTowardsSomeoneAndThenSuddenlyHideABit
#SometimesSomeoneWillComeRoundToVisitAndSheWillBeReallyUpsetAboutIt
#ButAfterAWhileSheGetsOverItAndTheyAreHerNewBestFriend
#ButAtClassesSheWillJustCrawlOffAndLeaveMeInFrontOfLotsOfPeople
#ThenSheMightGetCloseToSomeoneAndPutHerHeadDownButSometimesNot
#WeSawSomeFriendsYesterdayAndThereWereTimesWhenSheWasBeingShy
#WeGotThereAndDidNotRealiseThatSheMustBeHeavilyTeethingAsSheWasNotReallyBeingHerself
#AtOnePointSheWentToTiagoToBeComfortedAndThenFellAsleepInHisArms
#ICanNotRememberTheLastTimeSheJustRandomlyFellAsleepOnEitherOfUs
#IWasGettingQuiteWorriedButSheSeemsToBeOkay
#ItWasGreatToSeeSomeOldFriendsAndTheirBaby
#ToCatchUpAndHaveAChangeOfSceneryAndToHaveTheKindOfTimeWithPeopleThatIThoughtWeWouldHaveHadALotMoreOfByNow
#OnTheWayThereWeStoppedAtAPetrolStationAndIThinkSheThoughtWeWereThereAlreadyAndGotQuiteExcited
#ItWasOurLongestCarTripSinceWeMovedToBirminghamNearlySevenMonthsAgo
#ItIsWeirdThatSheHasNowLivedInBirminghamLongerThanSheLivedInLiverpool
#ITriedToGetUsOutEveryWeekDayLastWeek
#ForFridayIWasLookingAtAllTheDifferentOptionsButOneSoldOutAsIWasAboutToBook
#InTheEndIDecidedWeWouldGoSomewhereElseButItJustRainedAllDay
#AndAfterBGotUpFromHerFirstNapICouldNotBeBotheredToGoOutInTheRain
#SoWeJustStayedInAllDayButItWasNotSoBadAsWeHadBeenOutALotAllWeek
#IDefinitelyNeedToDoThingsOnAThursdayAsThatIsTheDayThatDragsTheMost
#ItIsAShameThatTheLibraryIsNotOpenEveryDayAsThatWouldBeAnEasyPlaceToGo
#IAmHavingPhasesOfLookingAtBAndGettingEmotional
#IAmRealisingHowLuckyIAmToHaveHerEvenThoughIStillFindItWeirdThatIAmAMother
#InTheCarYesterdayIWasJustWatchingHerSleepAndFeelingVeryGratefulToHaveHer
#ICanNotImagineMyLifeWithoutHerNowAndThingsAreBetterNowThatMoreThingsAreOpen
#IDoNotLikeHowThisProjectHasBeenAMassiveWhinefestButItHasBeenMyPlaceToVentAndFeelBetter
#IDoFeelLikeNewParentsHaveBeenForgottenABitInThisPandemic
#IAmAnnoyedThatItHasAllBeenATotalPostcodeLotteryWithHowMuchSupportYouDoAndDoNotGet

#AtLeastIThinkItIsWhenSheIsShyOrIsPerhapsPretendingToBe

Some evolutionary thing where she feels like she needs to hide? (Though everyone can see where she is.)

#OftenSheWillCrawlTowardsSomeoneAndThenSuddenlyHideABit

She’ll crawl in the direction of someone, then they’ll say hi and then she’ll hide.

#SometimesSomeoneWillComeRoundToVisitAndSheWillBeReallyUpsetAboutIt

I think it is because the house and the garden are her safe space.

#ButAfterAWhileSheGetsOverItAndTheyAreHerNewBestFriend

That’s nice to see.

#ButAtClassesSheWillJustCrawlOffAndLeaveMeInFrontOfLotsOfPeople

So she doesn’t seem that shy at times?

#ThenSheMightGetCloseToSomeoneAndPutHerHeadDownButSometimesNot

Because they say hello. I guess her confidence goes up and down, but mine does too so I can relate. I wish I could suddenly hide my face when I felt awkward.

#WeSawSomeFriendsYesterdayAndThereWereTimesWhenSheWasBeingShy

Hiding on the floor or hiding behind Tiago or me.

#WeGotThereAndDidNotRealiseThatSheMustBeHeavilyTeethingAsSheWasNotReallyBeingHerself

She hadn’t eaten much breakfast, she slept well in the car – though it looked like she kept having nightmares and would wake up crying at times?

#AtOnePointSheWentToTiagoToBeComfortedAndThenFellAsleepInHisArms

She was coming to us a lot to be comforted which is usually the sign that she is ill. I just went downstairs and she is having cuddles with my Nan, which she doesn’t really do unless she is not feeling great – she’ll have short cuddles, but long cuddles is an under the weather thing.

#ICanNotRememberTheLastTimeSheJustRandomlyFellAsleepOnEitherOfUs

Monthsss ago.

#IWasGettingQuiteWorriedButSheSeemsToBeOkay

She only has one tooth and she has been teething for 7 months. It looks like another one may be close…

#ItWasGreatToSeeSomeOldFriendsAndTheirBaby #ToCatchUpAndHaveAChangeOfSceneryAndToHaveTheKindOfTimeWithPeopleThatIThoughtWeWouldHaveHadALotMoreOfByNow

It was how I expected the last 11 months to be really. Seeing friends, hanging out etc.

We still need to make more local friends, but with old friends it is easy. They know you, you know them, I feel like I don’t talk about my art with new people as I feel like they just wouldn’t get it. Fun times.

#OnTheWayThereWeStoppedAtAPetrolStationAndIThinkSheThoughtWeWereThereAlreadyAndGotQuiteExcited

Or she might have been excited to see Tiago getting out of the car. She was looking at the pumps quite intrigued though.

#ItWasOurLongestCarTripSinceWeMovedToBirminghamNearlySevenMonthsAgo

I was nervous, but we timed the trip around her naps so she napped for longer than normal but she seemed tired at bedtime and slept through the night? Win. Might be because she is ill though, but I think the trip was probably a lot for her to take in so might have tired her out.

#ItIsWeirdThatSheHasNowLivedInBirminghamLongerThanSheLivedInLiverpool

She’s still Scouse though.

#ITriedToGetUsOutEveryWeekDayLastWeek

And not just to the park, somewhere more ‘substantial’. Soft play, classes, playgroups etc.

#ForFridayIWasLookingAtAllTheDifferentOptionsButOneSoldOutAsIWasAboutToBook

I didn’t really want to go back to the soft play place that week, but I thought the weather was a bit crummy so it was a safe bet.

#InTheEndIDecidedWeWouldGoSomewhereElseButItJustRainedAllDay

I was trying to find somewhere to take her for lunch, but there didn’t seem like any good options and I didn’t really want to take her by myself.

#AndAfterBGotUpFromHerFirstNapICouldNotBeBotheredToGoOutInTheRain

I just felt really tired and the idea of pushing her for 20+ minutes in the rain did not appeal.

#SoWeJustStayedInAllDayButItWasNotSoBadAsWeHadBeenOutALotAllWeek

I wanted to take her for a walk in the afternoon, but it just rained all day and I couldn’t be bothered. Sorry B.

#IDefinitelyNeedToDoThingsOnAThursdayAsThatIsTheDayThatDragsTheMost

Thursday is ‘we still have to get through Friday before it’s the weekend’. Friday is ‘countdown to the weekend when T is free.’

#ItIsAShameThatTheLibraryIsNotOpenEveryDayAsThatWouldBeAnEasyPlaceToGo

It seems to just be open on days when we do other things, not the days where I wonder where we should go. Fail.

#IAmHavingPhasesOfLookingAtBAndGettingEmotional

Heart emoji.

#IAmRealisingHowLuckyIAmToHaveHerEvenThoughIStillFindItWeirdThatIAmAMother

It was funny to see our friends yesterday and comment about how we are all parents now.

#InTheCarYesterdayIWasJustWatchingHerSleepAndFeelingVeryGratefulToHaveHer

She is cool and I am looking forward to seeing her grow up. I feel bad that I have wished some of this time away but it has been hard.

#ICanNotImagineMyLifeWithoutHerNowAndThingsAreBetterNowThatMoreThingsAreOpen

I have just felt stuck for so long with not many options of what we can do to pass some time and make sure B gets proper stimulation.

#IDoNotLikeHowThisProjectHasBeenAMassiveWhinefestButItHasBeenMyPlaceToVentAndFeelBetter

I will forever feel awkward about it, but I have done my best during these weird times – and it’s not over yet.

#IDoFeelLikeNewParentsHaveBeenForgottenABitInThisPandemic #IAmAnnoyedThatItHasAllBeenATotalPostcodeLotteryWithHowMuchSupportYouDoAndDoNotGet

I guess it all depends on your support network, where you live, who you know etc. I am worried that we will have to go through a similar winter again, but at least B will be older and into more things. We shall have to see, but fingers crossed more things will be open for us this time.

I am excited for summer though. Roll on summer.

Thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying my blog (and/or the work I make) please consider supporting me by ‘buying me a coffee’ on Ko-fi – thanks!

Categories
Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Imitating B Using A Balloon As A Pillow (19th May 2021)

Imitating B Using A Balloon As A Pillow (19th May 2021)
 
#IHaveOnlySeenHerDoThisOnceButSheIsStartingToRestHerHeadOnThings
#TheFloorACushionMyLapThisBalloon
#HerPersonalitySeemsToBeDevelopingMoreEveryday
#SheIsSuddenlyTakingMoreOfAnInterestInDogsWhichMakesOurWalksMoreInteresting
#TheOtherDayWeMetUpWithAFriendForAPicnicAndADogKeptStealingTheirFood
#YesterdayIReadAnArticleAboutPeoplesHighsAndLowsOfHavingALockdownBaby
#ItReallyMadeMeFeelQuiteDownButIThinkNotHavingSleptMuchDidNotHelpEither
#IHaveStartedToStayUpTooLateAtNightButOftenICanNotSleep
#BGoesToBedAndIAmTiredButThenISuddenlyWakeUpAndWantMoreOfMyOwnTime
#IHaveJustBeenWastingMyTimeWatchingYoutubeVideosAndThings
#IAmFindingItHardToWriteTheseHashtagsTodayAndIThinkItIsBecauseIAmTired
#BWokeUpAtFiveFortyThisMorningButIPutTheHeatingOnInHerRoomAndWeThenHadToWakeHerUpAtSeven
#MyNansHouseIsUsuallyQuiteHotSoIThinkBIsQuiteUsedToTheHeatNow
#IWonderHowSheWillDealWithBeingOnHolidayInAMuchCoolerHouse
#IWouldRatherJustBeHavingANapRightNowButIFeelBadIfIDoNotDoThisProject
#IDoDebateHavingSomeTimeOffMyWorkButTheFeelingPassesAndIGetOnWithItAllAgain
#ITookBToSoftPlayTheOtherDayAndItWasNotAsGreatAsIHopedItWouldBe
#TheYoungKidsSectionWasABitSadAndPeopleGraduallyStoppedWearingTheirMasksWhichPissedMeOff
#IThinkABigPartOfItIsDownToWhoIsThereAtTheSameTimeAsYou
#EveryoneElseSeemedToBeThereWithSomeoneElseAndINeedToStopBeingAwkwardAboutTalkingToPeople
#ITookBOnTheSlideACoupleOfTimesThoughIThinkIFoundItMoreFunThanHer
#IWillProbablyEndUpTakingHerThereAgainSoonJustAsThereIsNotMuchElseAroundHereToDo
#IAmHopingToTryOutANewPlaygroupWithHer
#DueToThePandemicYouHaveToPrebookEverythingWhichIsNotGreatForSpontaneousPlans
#SomeGoodNewsIsThatTiagosPassportHasArrivedSoThatIsOneLessThingToWorryAbout
#ICutHisHairForTheThirdTimeTheOtherDayAndNowHisPassportPictureLooksNothingLikeHim
#HeShavedTooAndNowHeJustLooksLikeBsOlderBrother
#IAmTryingToGetBackIntoExercisingThoughIGenerallyDoSpeedUpMyStretchingVideos
#ToBeFairIHaveDoneThemAllSoManyTimesThatIDoNotNeedToHearTheLongExplanations
#IAmSoOverFeedingBNowThatITurnHerPorridgeIntoPancakes

#IHaveOnlySeenHerDoThisOnceButSheIsStartingToRestHerHeadOnThings

It is quite cute, though when I took her to soft play the other day she was just lying with her head on the floor and I felt like a few people were judging me as she looked like she was having a tantrum or something.

#TheFloorACushionMyLapThisBalloon

We have a lot of cushions around the living room to protect her from furniture and she will just chill on them a bit now.

#HerPersonalitySeemsToBeDevelopingMoreEveryday

I love when she laughs at things.

#SheIsSuddenlyTakingMoreOfAnInterestInDogsWhichMakesOurWalksMoreInteresting

There are a group of people who have been gathering on an area of grass with their dogs for months who I call ‘the dog club’ (very original), and now B likes to look at them all. I’m trying to get more comfortable with us stopping and looking at them, without feeling like a big weirdo.

#TheOtherDayWeMetUpWithAFriendForAPicnicAndADogKeptStealingTheirFood

Well B was stealing her friend’s food, and the dog was stealing food from both of them. The owners really didn’t seem that bothered. Thanks.

#YesterdayIReadAnArticleAboutPeoplesHighsAndLowsOfHavingALockdownBaby #ItReallyMadeMeFeelQuiteDownButIThinkNotHavingSleptMuchDidNotHelpEither

The article was on The Guardian. I was feeling alright and then after reading that I just felt rubbish. I really hope that B gets to meet T’s parents this summer… I had a long nap when B napped and I felt better.

#IHaveStartedToStayUpTooLateAtNightButOftenICanNotSleep

Last week I was not falling asleep for over an hour, so now I just stay up an hour later and then don’t fall asleep for another hour.

#BGoesToBedAndIAmTiredButThenISuddenlyWakeUpAndWantMoreOfMyOwnTime

It’s either go to bed early and feel alright in the morning, or stay up and feel good about having some time to myself and then feel grim in the morning. I do not like feeling tired, so I just need to suck it up and go to bed earlier.

#IHaveJustBeenWastingMyTimeWatchingYoutubeVideosAndThings

Watching highlights from comedy gameshows and watching RuPaul’s Drag Race Down Under.

#IAmFindingItHardToWriteTheseHashtagsTodayAndIThinkItIsBecauseIAmTired

I feel so groggy, though I was feeling fine at 7 this morning.

#BWokeUpAtFiveFortyThisMorningButIPutTheHeatingOnInHerRoomAndWeThenHadToWakeHerUpAtSeven

Great. Yesterday she was awake at 5.30am and then didn’t go back to sleep, but then she had a long nap and so did I.

#MyNansHouseIsUsuallyQuiteHotSoIThinkBIsQuiteUsedToTheHeatNow

And as a result she likes her room to be quite warm. Downstairs is always hot, but upstairs isn’t.

#IWonderHowSheWillDealWithBeingOnHolidayInAMuchCoolerHouse

It’ll be fine. I’ll be more relaxed then hopefully as Tiago will be off and it’ll be lovely to spend some more time together as a family and with family.

#IWouldRatherJustBeHavingANapRightNowButIFeelBadIfIDoNotDoThisProject

Story of the last year of my life.

#IDoDebateHavingSomeTimeOffMyWorkButTheFeelingPassesAndIGetOnWithItAllAgain

Last week I was ready to stop posting on social media for a while and just keep making this project but with shortened hashtags. It’s part of the fun of being an artist right?

#ITookBToSoftPlayTheOtherDayAndItWasNotAsGreatAsIHopedItWouldBe

Le sigh. I was really hoping it would be the place that would save me from myself.

#TheYoungKidsSectionWasABitSadAndPeopleGraduallyStoppedWearingTheirMasksWhichPissedMeOff

Well maybe it wasn’t that sad, but for someone B’s age it was sad – the cooler stuff was too old for B.

When you go in someone says wear masks at all times unless you are sat down eating. I saw a guy with a mask not covering his nose walking around and then later he wasn’t even wearing it. I was sat in the young kids’ area close to a woman (it’s a small area) not wearing a mask and coughing.

#IThinkABigPartOfItIsDownToWhoIsThereAtTheSameTimeAsYou

People who put up with wearing a mask and those who don’t?

#EveryoneElseSeemedToBeThereWithSomeoneElseAndINeedToStopBeingAwkwardAboutTalkingToPeople

Basically I wanted to talk to people, but no one needed to talk to me. That’s fair enough.

#ITookBOnTheSlideACoupleOfTimesThoughIThinkIFoundItMoreFunThanHer

I saw other adults climbing up (I don’t know the rules of soft play alright) so I took her on that a few times. She was more interested in holding onto the netting at the side though.

#IWillProbablyEndUpTakingHerThereAgainSoonJustAsThereIsNotMuchElseAroundHereToDo

I’ll give it another go and see how it is.

(12th July: We’re still yet to go again. I’ve been put off it.)

#IAmHopingToTryOutANewPlaygroupWithHer

It’s when my Mum usually visits, but it might be where I meet some likeminded local people so I need to give it a go. We do know a few people now, but generally everyone is back at work and only has Friday off, and then they have plans with other people as they have lives and know other people.

#DueToThePandemicYouHaveToPrebookEverythingWhichIsNotGreatForSpontaneousPlans

I debated not booking the playgroup until the day, but I know that there will probably be no spaces on the day.

#SomeGoodNewsIsThatTiagosPassportHasArrivedSoThatIsOneLessThingToWorryAbout

Hurrah. It said 10 weeks, but I think it’s been 4? Not sure but it was definitely quick. B’s came a lot quicker than they said it would. I guess it’s so you don’t leave your application until the last minute.

Am I jealous of everyone on the news in Portugal already? Yes.

#ICutHisHairForTheThirdTimeTheOtherDayAndNowHisPassportPictureLooksNothingLikeHim

I think it was an alright cut.

#HeShavedTooAndNowHeJustLooksLikeBsOlderBrother

He commented on how young he looked first.

#IAmTryingToGetBackIntoExercisingThoughIGenerallyDoSpeedUpMyStretchingVideos

I am so lazy these days.

#ToBeFairIHaveDoneThemAllSoManyTimesThatIDoNotNeedToHearTheLongExplanations

I should have done this before. I had loads of YouTube comedy videos lined up but I knew I had to go to bed soon so I started to watch them faster. I’ve had to skip through RuPaul as there is no option on iPlayer to play them faster (shame – the feature is great on Netflix) as I need to go to bed, but I want to see what happens.

(12th July: I now use a plugin called ‘Video Speed Controller’. It’s great, and I can speed things up faster than Netflix allows.)

#IAmSoOverFeedingBNowThatITurnHerPorridgeIntoPancakes

A random ending but yes. I made her some porridge bars the other day, but they only feed her for two days and the porridge is healthier (it has butternut squash in it). I just add some flour (I used buckwheat the other day) and fry them. I made her a batch today, so I’ll do the porridge pancakes again for the next 4 days. To be fair they come more like porridge pancake blobs, but that’s fine.

(12th July: We no longer add the flour. We just fry the mix.)

Time to do a shoot and then get B up, if she doesn’t wake up before I finish.

Thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying my blog (and/or the work I make) please consider supporting me by ‘buying me a coffee’ on Ko-fi – thanks!

Categories
Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Portrait Of A Mother Of An Eleven Month Old (15th May 2021)

A headshot with me looking at the camera, with my hair up and wearing a black and white striped top with a slight neck.
Portrait Of A Mother Of An Eleven Month Old (15th May 2021)
 
#ICanNotBelieveThatBIsNearlyAYearOld
#WhatAWeirdYearItHasBeen
#ITookThisPhotoAsSoonAsIGotOutOfBed
#IProbablyShouldHaveTakenItHalfAnHourEarlierButIWasWaitingForTiagoToGetBUpAsSheWasMakingNoise
#AndTiagoWasWaitingForMeToGetHerUpAsHeHadWokenUpAt4
#IShouldHaveJustGotUpAndDoneTheShootThenGotHerUpButSheIsWithTiagoNowWhileIDoSomeWork
#YesterdayTiagoTookHerToTheSupermarketByHimselfForTheFirstTime
#IUsuallyJoinToGetOltOfTheHouseWithHerButItMadeSenseForThemToGoAlone
#ItWasAlsoTheFirstTimeThatTheyHadBeenAloneInTheCarWhichIsWeirdAsSheIs11MonthsOld
#TiagoSaidHeEnjoyedPushingHerAroundAndTalkingToHer
#IThinkABigMistakeWeMadeWasNotGettingAPushchairWhereSheCanFaceUsButOhWell
#IAmRecoveringAlrightAfterHavingAToothOut
#IHaveBeenSuperTiredButMaybeItIsDownToNotExercisingSoMuch
#IHaveNotReallyExercisedInAFewWeeksAndMyOutdoorClassHasOnlyHappenedOnceDueToBadWeather
#PortugalHasBeenOnTheNewsALotWhenTalkingAboutSummerHolidays
#WhatHappensHappensAndWeWillJustHaveToSee
#IsItWeirdThatBIsNearlyAYearOldAndIStillFindItWeirdThatIHaveAKidAtTimes
#YesterdayIFellDownAnInternetHoleAndWasReadingAThreadAboutPeopleRegrettingTheyHadKids
#IDoNotRegretThatWeHadBAndThoughIFindItWeirdThatIAmAMotherICanNotImagineMyLifeWithoutHerNow
#ItWasMainlyPeopleSayingHowTiredTheyAreAndIGetIt
#WeWouldLikeToHaveAnotherChildAtSomePointButIDoWorryAboutHavingLessTimeForMyOwnStuff
#TheFurtherThatBGetsAwayFromTheSuperDependentBabyPhaseTheLessIWantToGoBackThere
#NowSheIsFeedingHerselfQuiteWellWhenWeGiveHerFoodWhereItIsDoable
#AndSheSitsAndAmusesHerselfMoreWhichIsNiceThoughIFeelBadIfSheDoesItForTooLong
#ButItGoodToBeAbleToMakeHerFoodWhileSheJustPlaysAndCrawlsAbout
#IWorryThatIAmABadEnoughMotherOfOneLetAloneAddingAnotherChildIntoTheMix
#IGuessWeWillJustSeeWhatHappensAndIfItHappensThenThingsWillNeedToChange
#InACoupleOfDaysMoreThingsWillReopenSoItWillBeGoodToExploreSomeDifferentPlaces
#IThinkTheWeatherIsMeantToBeQuiteRubbishForTheRestOfTheMonth
#IDefinitelyNeedToGetBetterAtEntertainingBIndoorsAtHome

#ICanNotBelieveThatBIsNearlyAYearOld

It probably has felt like a lot more than 11 months at times. It’s weird thinking back to how different she was 11 months ago…

#WhatAWeirdYearItHasBeen

I know I say it a lot, but I do wonder how things would be now if there hadn’t been a pandemic but there is no point thinking about it too much. It’s just been a very odd year.

#ITookThisPhotoAsSoonAsIGotOutOfBed

I was going for a ‘I’m very tired’ vibe.

#IProbablyShouldHaveTakenItHalfAnHourEarlierButIWasWaitingForTiagoToGetBUpAsSheWasMakingNoise

There was a lot of us looking at the clock then putting our heads back down.

#AndTiagoWasWaitingForMeToGetHerUpAsHeHadWokenUpAt4

He usually gets her up and I was going to offer, but I wanted to do this shoot and I had got in into my head that I was going to do it today – so I did not want to wait for tomorrow.

#IShouldHaveJustGotUpAndDoneTheShootThenGotHerUpButSheIsWithTiagoNowWhileIDoSomeWork

This would have made sense, but it’s 7:45am and I’ve done my hashtags and I’m doing this blog. I want to get it done so I can tackle the rest of my to do list. I seem to work best in the morning as I know Tiago will not want to do work now, and I keep working until I start to faff.

#YesterdayTiagoTookHerToTheSupermarketByHimselfForTheFirstTime

It doesn’t sound like a big deal, but it seemed like it (for me anyways).

#IUsuallyJoinToGetOutOfTheHouseWithHerButItMadeSenseForThemToGoAlone

I think supermarkets still don’t like more people going than necessary, and it made it different for Tiago.

#ItWasAlsoTheFirstTimeThatTheyHadBeenAloneInTheCarWhichIsWeirdAsSheIs11MonthsOld

I felt bad not being there to amuse B – we need to get one of those mirrors so B and T can see each other easily. I was more worried that she would fall asleep on the way home and then not go to bed easily. She keeps waking up half an hour after she’s gone to bed. Not sure what that is about.

#TiagoSaidHeEnjoyedPushingHerAroundAndTalkingToHer

I think the supermarket is good stimulation for B too with all the things to look at.

#IThinkABigMistakeWeMadeWasNotGettingAPushchairWhereSheCanFaceUsButOhWell

I think she is used to looking out when I push her around but it is hard to talk to her like that. That’s what you get for not being able to try out pushchairs during a pandemic…

#IAmRecoveringAlrightAfterHavingAToothOut

I can’t help but mess with the gap a lot. It feels massive.

#IHaveBeenSuperTiredButMaybeItIsDownToNotExercisingSoMuch

It is probably from a combination of many things – mothering Monday to Friday, trying to get lots of other stuff done when I can, recovering from having a tooth out and not exercising enough.

#IHaveNotReallyExercisedInAFewWeeksAndMyOutdoorClassHasOnlyHappenedOnceDueToBadWeather

My enthusiasm for the class is gone, so I don’t think I’ll be going back. I will stretch after I finish this post though – I can feel my back starting to ache.

#PortugalHasBeenOnTheNewsALotWhenTalkingAboutSummerHolidays

I think from Monday the doors will be open to Brits, but it can change and change again a million times before we go.

#WhatHappensHappensAndWeWillJustHaveToSee

Tiago says there is no point stressing about it. We’ll just have to prepare as best as we can and see what happens.

#IsItWeirdThatBIsNearlyAYearOldAndIStillFindItWeirdThatIHaveAKidAtTimes

It’s getting less weird, but it is bizarre.

#YesterdayIFellDownAnInternetHoleAndWasReadingAThreadAboutPeopleRegrettingTheyHadKids

Great. I haven’t been on Reddit in ages, and I won’t be going there again as I should have napped but instead I got sucked in to that thread and one about ruined weddings, and people who quit their jobs on the first day. Super productive stuff I know.

#IDoNotRegretThatWeHadBAndThoughIFindItWeirdThatIAmAMotherICanNotImagineMyLifeWithoutHerNow

It is weird thinking of life before her.

(5th July 2021: I said the same thing to Tiago yesterday.)

#ItWasMainlyPeopleSayingHowTiredTheyAreAndIGetIt

It is tiring, but it is rewarding. I don’t want to wish time away, but I am looking forward to her being older too.

#WeWouldLikeToHaveAnotherChildAtSomePointButIDoWorryAboutHavingLessTimeForMyOwnStuff

I think I’d just have to accept that I may not be able to do as much for a couple of years or so. I’m sure I’d find a way to do something though.

#TheFurtherThatBGetsAwayFromTheSuperDependentBabyPhaseTheLessIWantToGoBackThere

There was a 3 week old baby at B’s class the other day and it was weird thinking that B used to be that size. It’s amazing how much they change in a year. The early early days where they sleep 5 times a day isn’t so bad, and I hope that breastfeeding would be easier but looking after two kids must be a lot more tiring.

#NowSheIsFeedingHerselfQuiteWellWhenWeGiveHerFoodWhereItIsDoable

I need to look at more meals where she can feed herself, but we have a lot of frozen meals where you need a spoon really and B isn’t getting the hang of that yet.

#AndSheSitsAndAmusesHerselfMoreWhichIsNiceThoughIFeelBadIfSheDoesItForTooLong

She is obsessed with balloons at the moment. I am reading to her more which is nice.

#ButItGoodToBeAbleToMakeHerFoodWhileSheJustPlaysAndCrawlsAbout

Once or twice a week I make muffins and I usually do them in the morning when I am tired. We are all fans of those muffins – I usually put 3 blueberries on top though.

#IWorryThatIAmABadEnoughMotherOfOneLetAloneAddingAnotherChildIntoTheMix

I am just doing my best and I guess that is all I can do.

#IGuessWeWillJustSeeWhatHappensAndIfItHappensThenThingsWillNeedToChange

Let’s see.

#InACoupleOfDaysMoreThingsWillReopenSoItWillBeGoodToExploreSomeDifferentPlaces

Indoor play places! It will be good for B, and good for me. I hope that we’ll meet some more people too.

#IThinkTheWeatherIsMeantToBeQuiteRubbishForTheRestOfTheMonth

Great.

#IDefinitelyNeedToGetBetterAtEntertainingBIndoorsAtHome

The TV is on way too much for my liking, but I do like Bluey a lot. With better weather and more things reopening we can get out more which will make me feel better and B will probably enjoy it too so let’s see.

Thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying my blog (and/or the work I make) please consider supporting me by ‘buying me a coffee’ on Ko-fi – thanks!