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Oh Me, Oh Mãe

B Has Only One Tooth And Today I Had One Pulled Out (12th May 2021)

Just realised that the title makes it sound like I had B’s tooth pulled out. Obviously it was one of mine…

Balancing my removed tooth on my thumb.
B Has Only One Tooth And Today I Had One Pulled Out (12th May 2021)
 
#WellThisWasNotWhatIWasPlanningToTalkOrShootAboutToday
#MyToothPainWentAwayForADayOrTwoAndThenItStartedUpAgainSoIThoughtIShouldCallTheDentistToday
#IWasSurprisedThatTheyWouldSeeMeSoSoon
#IWasTryingToWaitForMyDentalHygienistAppointmentButThenIRealisedThatTheyMightNotBeAbleToAdviseOnMyTooth
#TheySaidToCancelThatAppointmentButTheyDoNotHaveOtherSlotsUntilOctober
#MyTwoBackUpperRightTeethWereApparentlySuperCloseTogetherAndTheBackOneHadAFillingThatWasNearlyTouchingTheNerve
#HeTalkedAboutWideningTheGapButHeSeemedToBeSayingToJustGetRidOfTheTooth
#SoIDidAndIWorryThatIMaybeDidItPrematurelyButItIsTooLateNow
#TheFeelingOfHavingAToothYankedOutIsSoWeird
#LuckilyItOnlyTookAFewMinutesAndWasQuiteSimpleComparedToTheThirtyMinutesOrSoItTookToPullOutMyLastWisdomTooth
#TypicallyTheOnlySlotTheyHadCoincidedWithBsBabyClassSoIInitiallySaidIWouldCallAgainTomorrow
#ButThenISpokeToTiagoAndDecidedItWasBestToJustGoToday
#IWasLookingForwardToTakingBToAClassEspeciallyAsSheSeemedToEnjoyHerOtherClassThisWeek
#AllOfTheOtherBabiesWereJustChillingOnTheirMatsAndBWasJustConstantlyCrawlingAway
#IWouldGoToFetchHerAndASecondLaterSheWouldBeOffAgain
#TheTeacherSaidNotToWorryAndAgainWhenEveryoneWasQuietAndBWasScreaming
#SheHasANewHabitOfScreamingButIThinkItIsWhenSheIsExcited
#EarlierSheWasJustStoodUpScreamingAtTheBuckleOfHerHighchair
#TheTeacherSaidThatWeShouldReadAtLeastFiveBooksADayToOurKids
#IUsedToDoThatAndThenIGotLazySoTodayIThinkIReadAboutEightBooksToHer
#SheUsuallyGetsBoredAfterAFewPagesButIKeepReadingAnyways
#WhenIPutHerToBedIWillSometimesLieDownOnHerMatNextToHerAndReadWhichSheSeemsToLike
#UntilSheGetsBoredAndCrawlsAwayOfCourse
#ThereWasAFunnyKidAtThePlaygroundTodayWhoKeptTellingMeThatHeWasABoyAndThatHeIsStrongBecauseHeEatsMightyFood
#IAskedHimWhatMightyFoodIsAndHeSaidPeasAndBroccoli
#ISaidThatBLikesThemButHeThenSaidThatHeDoesNotReallyLikeThem
#WeHaveBookedMostOfOurTripToSeeTiagosParentsAndYesItWillBeAFaffAndYesIHopeItGoesAhead
#ThereWasANewsReportEarlierAboutThePriceOfTestingAndThatSomePeopleHaveHadProblemsWithThemNotTurningUp
#FingersCrossedItWorksOutAsIAmFeelingABitBetterNowThatWeMightHaveSomethingToLookForwardTo
#ThereIsPlentyOfTimeForTravelToPortugalToBeDisallowedAndAllowedAgainSoWeWillHaveToSee

I am too tired to be writing this. I started it this morning, but then had a lot of work to do while dealing with tooth pain. Then I ummed and ahhed about doing it but here we are.

#WellThisWasNotWhatIWasPlanningToTalkOrShootAboutToday

I was thinking about imitating B sticking her tongue out, but that will have to be another time.

#MyToothPainWentAwayForADayOrTwoAndThenItStartedUpAgainSoIThoughtIShouldCallTheDentistToday

My tooth pain got replaced with toe pain, then I might have brushed the tooth too hard yesterday and it was back.

#IWasSurprisedThatTheyWouldSeeMeSoSoon

I guess just because I had to wait a while for an appointment, but this was an ’emergency appointment’ apparently.

#IWasTryingToWaitForMyDentalHygienistAppointmentButThenIRealisedThatTheyMightNotBeAbleToAdviseOnMyTooth

It seemed a bit dumb waiting for it though I had waited a week or so. Then I figured they’d be like ‘ask your dentist’. The dentist I saw before is on maternity leave now – that explains why she asked a lot of questions about pregnancy/B, perhaps?

#TheySaidToCancelThatAppointmentButTheyDoNotHaveOtherSlotsUntilOctober

It’s fine. My dentist told me to have it to see if cleaning would help sort out the tooth pain that I was having back then.

#MyTwoBackUpperRightTeethWereApparentlySuperCloseTogetherAndTheBackOneHadAFillingThatWasNearlyTouchingTheNerve

I knew the filling on that tooth was deep, and when we lived in London I’m sure the dentist said it would need to come out at some point probably.

#HeTalkedAboutWideningTheGapButHeSeemedToBeSayingToJustGetRidOfTheTooth

He said it wasn’t really doing much as there was no tooth completely underneath it to help me eat, and instead it was just getting pressed into by one that was slightly below it – and it hurt when that happened.

#SoIDidAndIWorryThatIMaybeDidItPrematurelyButItIsTooLateNow

The dentist from before said it would need to come out eventually, but that it was protecting the next tooth from more damage. The one today said he didn’t really think that was the case, but now I should be able to brush it better.

#TheFeelingOfHavingAToothYankedOutIsSoWeird

Just bizarre. I don’t like having a numb face either. I probably should have rested more afterwards but I came home and was singing to try to entertain B.

#LuckilyItOnlyTookAFewMinutesAndWasQuiteSimpleComparedToTheThirtyMinutesOrSoItTookToPullOutMyLastWisdomTooth

I guess I thought it all happened so fast as for that tooth I had to go to the hospital for it and let some students wreak havoc with it. When we visited Tiago’s parents a few+ years ago we both had a wisdom tooth taken out (weirdly it was the same tooth) and I sat and watched while his took a longgg time and they used every tool from the tray – mine took five minutes.

#TypicallyTheOnlySlotTheyHadCoincidedWithBsBabyClassSoIInitiallySaidIWouldCallAgainTomorrow #ButThenISpokeToTiagoAndDecidedItWasBestToJustGoToday

It’s the first class we had missed and I felt bad for B. Obviously she has no clue that she has missed it.

#IWasLookingForwardToTakingBToAClassEspeciallyAsSheSeemedToEnjoyHerOtherClassThisWeek

It was meant to be the highlight of the day and I was looking forward to going. Oh well.

#AllOfTheOtherBabiesWereJustChillingOnTheirMatsAndBWasJustConstantlyCrawlingAway

Did I feel like I was being judged? A bit. Were they? Probably not. Tiago said they were probably jealous that their babies weren’t doing much. Doubt it.

#IWouldGoToFetchHerAndASecondLaterSheWouldBeOffAgain

I would initially let her be and see what she was doing, but she only came back once when I asked her to and the rest of the time she was just going super close to the teacher. At the end I think she was worried about the teacher’s baby that had been left alone on her mat – but was a doll.

#TheTeacherSaidNotToWorryAndAgainWhenEveryoneWasQuietAndBWasScreaming

‘Don’t worry it’s all fine’ while I was like ‘B why do you have to keep doing this’. At least with the mask I get to hide a bit…

#SheHasANewHabitOfScreamingButIThinkItIsWhenSheIsExcited #EarlierSheWasJustStoodUpScreamingAtTheBuckleOfHerHighchair

My Nan called from the other room ‘B do you not like your dinner?’

She had already eaten it and was just standing there screaming while I was on my hands and knees cleaning up a lot of dinner that had been thrown on the floor. She did like it though.

#TheTeacherSaidThatWeShouldReadAtLeastFiveBooksADayToOurKids #IUsedToDoThatAndThenIGotLazySoTodayIThinkIReadAboutEightBooksToHer

Today I was reading her The Very Hungry Caterpillar and mentioned about his tooth ache rather than stomach ache…

#SheUsuallyGetsBoredAfterAFewPagesButIKeepReadingAnyways

IT’S FINE YOU JUST GO OVER THERE AND I’LL READ LOUD ENOUGH SO YOU CAN HEAR ME.

#WhenIPutHerToBedIWillSometimesLieDownOnHerMatNextToHerAndReadWhichSheSeemsToLike

I think I’ve mentioned it before. She does a little smile when I lie next to her and sometimes she touches my face in a cute way.

#UntilSheGetsBoredAndCrawlsAwayOfCourse

Obviously.

#ThereWasAFunnyKidAtThePlaygroundTodayWhoKeptTellingMeThatHeWasABoyAndThatHeIsStrongBecauseHeEatsMightyFood

I think he kept mentioning that he’s a boy as he has very long hair and he is probably fed up of being mistaken for a girl. His hair is lovely.

#IAskedHimWhatMightyFoodIsAndHeSaidPeasAndBroccoli

Well at least I am getting better at talking to kids.

#ISaidThatBLikesThemButHeThenSaidThatHeDoesNotReallyLikeThem

I didn’t bother asking him how he is so strong then. I did laugh to myself when he showed me his bicep when he said strong.

#WeHaveBookedMostOfOurTripToSeeTiagosParentsAndYesItWillBeAFaffAndYesIHopeItGoesAhead

I am stressed thinking about it. If it was one flight each way then it would be less stressful, but whatever. I was going to apologise about being so privileged and whiney in my last post about potentially going away, but I am stressed about it.

#ThereWasANewsReportEarlierAboutThePriceOfTestingAndThatSomePeopleHaveHadProblemsWithThemNotTurningUp

And it’s money. But luckily we’re not a family of four and maybe B won’t need to get tested? Can you imagine me shoving a test up B’s nose and in her mouth? I guess it might happen.

#FingersCrossedItWorksOutAsIAmFeelingABitBetterNowThatWeMightHaveSomethingToLookForwardTo

Just having something to countdown to is something.

#ThereIsPlentyOfTimeForTravelToPortugalToBeDisallowedAndAllowedAgainSoWeWillHaveToSee

Fingers crossed. The rules might be completely different by the time we go.

Love when you get to the end and you realise you’ve missed out lots of things in the hashtags. I was meant to talk about how you can’t just chill and have toothache when you’ve got a baby, which might have led to the decision to get it removed earlier rather than later.

Also the dentist said ‘you don’t want to keep this do you?’ about my tooth and of course I said ‘I’LL HAVE IT’. They probably thought I was weird but oh well. I tried to make light conversation and I got a couple of laughs out of them, but I was probably just annoying. Oh well. Tomorrow is a new day and hopefully I can eat better soon 🙂


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Categories
Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Imitating B Sucking Her Thumb (9th May 2021)

Imitating B Sucking Her Thumb (9th May 2021)
 
#WellMaybeSheIsSuckingHerThumbOrMaybeSheIsJustTeething
#TheTeethingSeemsLikeItWillNeverEndAndSheStillOnlyHasOneTooth
#IHaveJustNoticedHerSuckingHerThumbAndFlappingHerHandAroundInTheLastWeek
#SheHasBeenWakingUpBefore6LatelySoWeNeedToSeeWhatWeCanDoToPushHerWakeupTimeBack
#IJustSeemSuperTiredAtTheMomentAndMyTeethAreStillHurtingALot
#IbruprofenSeemsToTakeTheEdgeOffOfItButIThinkOneOfMyTeethNeedsToComeOut
#TiagoSaidIfIGetItOutThenEventuallyTheNextOneWillNeedToComeOutAndSoOnAndHowWillIEatWithNoTeeth
#IPointedOutThatBHasBeenDoingPrettyWellWithHerGumsForALongTime
#ItRainedAllDayYesterdayButIDidNotCareSoMuchAsItIsTheWeekend
#WeStillWentOutForAWalkAnywaysAndItWasQuiteNice
#PortugalIsCurrentlyOnTheGreenTravelListSoWeAreLookingAtBookingATrip
#ICanNotBelieveThatBIsNearlyAYearOldAndSheHasNotMetHerPortugueseGrandparentsYet
#WeJustHaveToHopeThatThingsDoNotGetWorseAndThatWeWillNotHaveToQuarantineInAHotel
#TheTripIsFaffyEnoughAsItIsLetAloneWithTravellingWithABabyWithCovidRestrictions
#ItIsAMinimumOfTwoFlightsToGetToHisHomeIslandSoItIsLookingForTripsThatDoNotHaveMegaLayovers
#MostOfTheFlightsAreEitherSuperEarlyInTheMorningOrTheyArriveBackLateAtNight
#WhichWouldNotBeSoBadIfTheyWereFromBirminghamButWeWillHaveToTravelToManchesterOrLondon
#AndItProbablyWillBeLondonAsTheyHaveFlightsThatLeaveAndArriveAtOkayishTimes
#IAmAlreadyFeelingStressedAboutHavingToGetToAndFromTheAirports
#PlusSortingOutTestingAndDealingWithDifferentAirlinesAndLuggage
#IShouldNotComplainAsIKnowWeAreLuckyToBeAbleToGoAway
#IfItWasNotForSeeingHisFamilyAndGoingToAWeddingAndHavingToSortOutThingsThereWeWouldJustLeaveItThough
#OrIGuessWeWouldHaveMaybeTriedALocationThatWasALotEasierToGetTo
#WeAlsoNeedToSortOutCotsAndCarSeatsAndHighchairsAndThingsSoThatIsMoreFunToLookAt
#IJustWantToSwimInTheSeaAndHaveAChangeOfScenery
#IDidNotBotherGoingToMyParentsHouseTheOtherDayAsICouldNotBeBotheredToPackUpAllOfBsThings
#ByTheTimeIHadFinishingVentingInMyPostAndBlogIFeltMuchBetter
#MyMumSaysSheIsSurprisedThatWeAllHaveNotArguedALotMoreThanWeHave
#ItIsNiceSeeingMyNanEveryDayAndIFeelGuiltyThatWeAreGoingAwayButItWillBeGoodForUsAll
#IJustHopeThatWeWillNotHaveToCancelOurTripAfterAllOfThisPlanningButLetsSee

#WellMaybeSheIsSuckingHerThumbOrMaybeSheIsJustTeething

I do not know for sure.

#TheTeethingSeemsLikeItWillNeverEndAndSheStillOnlyHasOneTooth

At this rate, this is going to go on for yearssss, then she will start losing baby teeth… Remembering the days of making my a loose tooth move with my tongue, and then feeling the empty space. Fun times.

#IHaveJustNoticedHerSuckingHerThumbAndFlappingHerHandAroundInTheLastWeek

I was going to write in these hashtags about being a fan of sucking my thumb until I was probably way too old for it, but I forgot. Well, now you know – all two of you who read this.

#SheHasBeenWakingUpBefore6LatelySoWeNeedToSeeWhatWeCanDoToPushHerWakeupTimeBack

We are not morning people B. I was reading a twitter thread the other day and someone’s advice for future parents was to meet someone who is the opposite to you – a night owl if you’re an early bird and vice versa. Tiago is better than me in the mornings, and I am more of an evening person, but we still like to sleep.

#IJustSeemSuperTiredAtTheMomentAndMyTeethAreStillHurtingALot

I could just lie in bed all day. Today I got up at 6.20am though, and did some cooking. Now B’s gone to bed I just want to get stuff done so I can have a little lie down, if she does not wake up before then.

#IbruprofenSeemsToTakeTheEdgeOffOfItButIThinkOneOfMyTeethNeedsToComeOut

I have an appointment at the dentist this week, though it’s just for a clean. My dentist said to have them cleaned and see if that helps with any pain. I’m guessing it won’t, but I’ll mention the pain to them when I’m there. It’s probably too late to get my tooth removed on my maternity exemption as that is due to expire in a month.

#TiagoSaidIfIGetItOutThenEventuallyTheNextOneWillNeedToComeOutAndSoOnAndHowWillIEatWithNoTeeth

I think four different teeth have been playing up this week, but the back one really has been and I know that one has a really deep filling. My dentist said it is protecting the next tooth along though, so once it goes that one will be at risk and so on.

#IPointedOutThatBHasBeenDoingPrettyWellWithHerGumsForALongTime

She’s my inspiration.

#ItRainedAllDayYesterdayButIDidNotCareSoMuchAsItIsTheWeekend

I feel less stuck at home when Tiago is looking after B a bit and I can do other things.

#WeStillWentOutForAWalkAnywaysAndItWasQuiteNice

The air was fresh and the paths were pretty empty. We did see a few border collies though…

#PortugalIsCurrentlyOnTheGreenTravelListSoWeAreLookingAtBookingATrip

Everyone has been messaging me to say have I seen it. Now we need to try to book a trip before everyone else does.

#ICanNotBelieveThatBIsNearlyAYearOldAndSheHasNotMetHerPortugueseGrandparentsYet

I wonder if she will recognise them from all the video calls. I know she will be a bit weird with them at first though.

#WeJustHaveToHopeThatThingsDoNotGetWorseAndThatWeWillNotHaveToQuarantineInAHotel

For the price of quarantining in a hotel we could just do the most epic UK trip instead. Fingers crossed that we don’t have to.

(21st June: Portugal is currently on the amber list. If it goes to red then we will cancel our trip – when I wrote this I didn’t realise how expensive hotel quarantines are.)

#TheTripIsFaffyEnoughAsItIsLetAloneWithTravellingWithABabyWithCovidRestrictions

I didn’t look forward to the travelling pre-baby.

#ItIsAMinimumOfTwoFlightsToGetToHisHomeIslandSoItIsLookingForTripsThatDoNotHaveMegaLayovers

I’m usually the one who organises our trips and does the research and at the moment I feel like a full-time travel agent.

#MostOfTheFlightsAreEitherSuperEarlyInTheMorningOrTheyArriveBackLateAtNight

Great with a baby. We once ‘slept’ on the floor at Heathrow to avoid paying for a hotel when we had a 6am flight (I didn’t sleep). B would be fine in her pushchair to be fair, but it’d be a longggg day.

#WhichWouldNotBeSoBadIfTheyWereFromBirminghamButWeWillHaveToTravelToManchesterOrLondon

Great.

#AndItProbablyWillBeLondonAsTheyHaveFlightsThatLeaveAndArriveAtOkayishTimes

It’s a ridiculous amount of money to put our car in the car park (let me know if you have any hints/tips) and we will have to fly in and out of different London airports by the look of it.

(21st June: Yeah we’re flying in and out of different airports.)

#IAmAlreadyFeelingStressedAboutHavingToGetToAndFromTheAirports

We are probably just going to have to get a super early train to London, so that we are not stressed about missing our flight. That’s not too bad as we are usually up early anyways (typically that would be the day that B would sleep in).

#PlusSortingOutTestingAndDealingWithDifferentAirlinesAndLuggage

And trying not to catch Covid in the run up to the holiday – though we’ve done well so far, but knowing our luck…

#IShouldNotComplainAsIKnowWeAreLuckyToBeAbleToGoAway

I’m sure a lot of people reading this will just be like ‘really you’re whining about all this?’ I think this is probably the opinion about most of my project though.

#IfItWasNotForSeeingHisFamilyAndGoingToAWeddingAndHavingToSortOutThingsThereWeWouldJustLeaveItThough

It’ll be nice when we’re there, but it is stress that we could do without. My tooth suddenly just started hurting again really bad, maybe it’s stress related?

#OrIGuessWeWouldHaveMaybeTriedALocationThatWasALotEasierToGetTo

Well someone that only needed one flight from Birmingham would be a lot better, but in reality I think we would just visit a lot of people in the UK instead.

#WeAlsoNeedToSortOutCotsAndCarSeatsAndHighchairsAndThingsSoThatIsMoreFunToLookAt

Travel highchair? Travel cot? Rent a car seat? Might just have to see if we can borrow these things from someone.

#IJustWantToSwimInTheSeaAndHaveAChangeOfScenery

It would be amazing. It will be amazing. Fingers crossed.

#IDidNotBotherGoingToMyParentsHouseTheOtherDayAsICouldNotBeBotheredToPackUpAllOfBsThings

Lol. You can see why I am struggling with the idea of packing for a holiday.

#ByTheTimeIHadFinishingVentingInMyPostAndBlogIFeltMuchBetter

And then felt super awkward. Classic me.

#MyMumSaysSheIsSurprisedThatWeAllHaveNotArguedALotMoreThanWeHave

For the record Tiago and my Nan never argue. Tiago is super patient with her and I need to be more like Tiago.

#ItIsNiceSeeingMyNanEveryDayAndIFeelGuiltyThatWeAreGoingAwayButItWillBeGoodForUsAll

We haven’t had time to ourselves since October. We will hopefully have a few days to ourselves as a family before going to stay with Tiago’s family.

#IJustHopeThatWeWillNotHaveToCancelOurTripAfterAllOfThisPlanningButLetsSee

It is what it is. We have to take the risk as it’s easier for us to go and see Tiago’s parents than for them to come here, and we have one of Tiago’s best friend’s wedding to go to. I hope it all works out.


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Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Hire Us For Your Denim Advert (6th May 2021)

Me holding B. We're both wearing denim and her back is to the camera. It's quite close up and framed from my eye bags down.
Hire Us For Your Denim Advert (6th May 2021)
 
#ThisWeekIsMaternalMentalHealthAwarenessWeek
#ItFeelsSomewhatFittingAsIWasSupposedToDoAllThisYesterdayButIFeltTooCrapTo
#IHadANapWhenBHadHerFirstNapAndIFeltMuchBetterButTheRestOfTheDayWasStillASlog
#ThisProjectIsSupposedToBeAllAboutHonestyAndStuffButIFeelLikeIDoLeaveQuiteABitOut
#IThinkFromReadingMyProjectThoughItIsSomewhatClearThatIHaveBeenStruggling
#ItGoesUpAndDownAndSometimesIFeelFineAndThenIJustReallyRubbishAgain
#IHaveBeenFindingItHardToGetOutOfBedEvenIfISleepFairlyWell
#IThinkIHaveDippedAgainBecauseTheWeatherHasBeenSoCrummyAgainLately
#ItJustRainsEveryDayAndIFeelStuckInsideButMoreThingsReopenIn11DaysSoIHopeThatWillMakeABigDifference
#IFeelLikeICanNotCompletelyRelaxInTheLivingRoomAtMyNansHouseWhichIsMoreToDoWithMeThanHer
#AgainWithTheWeatherBeingRubbishItMeansOurOptionsAreLimitedWithWhereWeCanGo
#AsBHasBlackoutBlindsTapedToHerWindowIDoNotLikeToTakeHerInThereMuchAsItIsSoDark
#SoThisMorningIBroughtHerToOurBedroomWhichIHadToChildproofABitMoreForHer
#IWasWorriedThatSheWasColdAndIDidNotWantToGoDownstairsToGetHerUsualIndoorJacket
#SoIPutHerInHerDenimJacketThatSheHadNotWornBeforeAndIHadBroughtUpstairsAnHourBefore
#ThenIRememberedThatTiagoHasADenimJacketSoIThoughtIWouldWearItAndWeCouldDoAShootToPassTheTimeUntilBreakfast
#IAmNotSureWhichPictureIWillChooseYetButBWasQuiteFedUpAndIWasFeelingDownSoIfItLooksAllHappyFamilyThenThatMightNotBeTheReality
#HireUsForYourDenimAdvert
#MyMumIsHereNowSoIThinkWeWillGoHomeWithHerJustToGetAChangeOfScenery
#BWasIllAndShePassedItOntoMeAndNowAllMyTeethHurtWhichIHopeIsJustRelatedToFeelingRundown
#ItIsPainfulAndParacetamolDoesNotSeemToTouchItWhichDoesNotMakeMeFeelMuchBetter
#BeingIllWhenYouDoNotHaveAKidIsTotallyDifferentToBeingIllWithAKid
#LuckilyItWasABankHolidayWeekendSoTiagoWasAroundToHelpForAnExtraDayButICouldHaveJustDoneWithLyingInBedForAFewDaysButSillyMeFeelsGuiltyAboutSuchThingsNow
#YesterdayWeDidAVideoCallInTheKitchenAndIPutBsWalkerThereToSeeIfSheWouldUseIt
#BeforeIHadEvenStartedTheCallSheStoodUpAndStartedToPushItWhichWasAHugeSurprise
#ITriedToGetHerToShowTiagoLaterButIThinkSheWasABitTiredAndDidNotDoItSoWell
#SomeGoodNewsIsHeHadAnInterviewForHisBritishPassportAndThatWasFineSoFingersCrossedThatWillBeSortedSoon
#WeAreDefinitelyInNeedOfSomeTimeAwaySomewhereAndWeHopeWeCanSeeHisFamilyThisSummer
#IDoWonderHowIWouldHaveBeenIfIHadHadABabyInNonCovidTimesButIGuessIWouldStillBeStrugglingInSomeWay
#IAmJustPissedOffThatItHasBeenATotalPostcodeLotteryWithWhatHasBeenOpenInDifferentAreasOverTheLastFewMonthsAndWithWhatSupportYouGet

#ThisWeekIsMaternalMentalHealthAwarenessWeek

As always I will be posting this much later, so it will no longer be Maternal Mental Health Awareness Week.

#ItFeelsSomewhatFittingAsIWasSupposedToDoAllThisYesterdayButIFeltTooCrapTo

I got an email from Happity yesterday about their #shoutieselfie and I debated doing it, but yeah I felt too rubbish to. This post is somewhat negative but yesterdays would have been REALLY negative.

#IHadANapWhenBHadHerFirstNapAndIFeltMuchBetterButTheRestOfTheDayWasStillASlog

I sleep fairly well at night (though B had been awake for about an hour between 12.30 and 1.30), so I shouldn’t have needed that nap but apparently I did.

#ThisProjectIsSupposedToBeAllAboutHonestyAndStuffButIFeelLikeIDoLeaveQuiteABitOut

I’m aware of how negative and whiny it is all the time, and I feel awful about it. I know how lucky I am to have B and I do love her a lot, I am just feeling a bit stuck.

#IThinkFromReadingMyProjectThoughItIsSomewhatClearThatIHaveBeenStruggling

I feel like I don’t really need to talk about the really dark times that I sometimes have, and we do not need to see anymore photos of me crying.

#ItGoesUpAndDownAndSometimesIFeelFineAndThenIJustReallyRubbishAgain

It’s the circle of mental health.

#IHaveBeenFindingItHardToGetOutOfBedEvenIfISleepFairlyWell

Last night I went to bed earlier than normal. I probably fell asleep around 10.30pm and Tiago got up at 5.30ish, then B woke up at 6.20. Tiago had to go to work not long after, so I wasn’t in a great mood.

#IThinkIHaveDippedAgainBecauseTheWeatherHasBeenSoCrummyAgainLately

It just rains and rains. I took her to the swings briefly the other day and chatting to the Mum next to us she said we’d had all the weather today except for snow. I said it did hail the other day and two minutes later it was hailing…

#ItJustRainsEveryDayAndIFeelStuckInsideButMoreThingsReopenIn11DaysSoIHopeThatWillMakeABigDifference

The other week we were meeting up with a couple of Mums. This week we’ve just seen people in class, and it’s a new term at one of our classes next week and our friends are off to nursery so it’s time to make new friends. Great.

#IFeelLikeICanNotCompletelyRelaxInTheLivingRoomAtMyNansHouseWhichIsMoreToDoWithMeThanHer

We’re very grateful to my Nan for letting us live with her, but it is hard at times, and like I’ve said that’s more to do with me. This morning I was just not in the mood to chat as it was pre-7am and if I was my Nan I would have still been asleep in bed. I’ve said before that I do not like sitting in front of the TV all day. I can not remember the last time that I sat in the living room after B has gone to bed – I just like to have some time to myself.

(14th June: I feel so awkward about saying all that, but it was how I felt. I’m just not a morning person at all – she says after getting up at 5.40 this morning. We look at moving out from time to time, but there isn’t much on the renting market nearby. At the moment the weather is good, so we go out more and we open the window in her room (see two hashtags below) and play in there.)

#AgainWithTheWeatherBeingRubbishItMeansOurOptionsAreLimitedWithWhereWeCanGo

Again, as soon as the weather is better and places reopen we will be out more which will solve this ‘problem’.

#AsBHasBlackoutBlindsTapedToHerWindowIDoNotLikeToTakeHerInThereMuchAsItIsSoDark

It’s not the nicest place to sit in the day, though yesterday I did take her to her room early before a nap and just read books with her which was nice.

#SoThisMorningIBroughtHerToOurBedroomWhichIHadToChildproofABitMoreForHer

I had stopped bringing her in here to play as she just goes for all the cables and it stresses me out. I miss our big living/dining room in Liverpool where there would not have been many hazards for her.

#IWasWorriedThatSheWasColdAndIDidNotWantToGoDownstairsToGetHerUsualIndoorJacket

Logistics. Laziness.

#SoIPutHerInHerDenimJacketThatSheHadNotWornBeforeAndIHadBroughtUpstairsAnHourBefore

My Mum got it for her and it’s a little big. I was trying to tidy up a bit downstairs and so brought it up here.

#ThenIRememberedThatTiagoHasADenimJacketSoIThoughtIWouldWearItAndWeCouldDoAShootToPassTheTimeUntilBreakfast

This made me feel better as I did not know what I would do for the shoot, so it felt good to get the shoot out of the way, pass some time with B and get some photos together.

#IAmNotSureWhichPictureIWillChooseYetButBWasQuiteFedUpAndIWasFeelingDownSoIfItLooksAllHappyFamilyThenThatMightNotBeTheReality

I sang ‘Humpty Dumpty sat on the wall eating yellow bananas…’ a fair few times to cheer her up. She just wanted to smash my laptop as per usual; she took a few pictures of me accidentally.

#HireUsForYourDenimAdvert

I actually thought I looked alright in the denim jacket so maybe I will start wearing it.

#MyMumIsHereNowSoIThinkWeWillGoHomeWithHerJustToGetAChangeOfScenery

Tiago is at work so he can pick us up afterwards. I don’t know why we haven’t gone home with my Mum before… I will have to get her to try to have a nap in her pushchair and I hope it doesn’t pour on us while I take her out for one.

(14th June: I couldn’t be bothered to pack up B’s stuff in the end, so we didn’t go.)

#BWasIllAndShePassedItOntoMeAndNowAllMyTeethHurtWhichIHopeIsJustRelatedToFeelingRundown

Great. Tiago was ill for about half a day.

#ItIsPainfulAndParacetamolDoesNotSeemToTouchItWhichDoesNotMakeMeFeelMuchBetter

Whine whine whine. It does hurt though.

#BeingIllWhenYouDoNotHaveAKidIsTotallyDifferentToBeingIllWithAKid

Tell me about it.

#LuckilyItWasABankHolidayWeekendSoTiagoWasAroundToHelpForAnExtraDayButICouldHaveJustDoneWithLyingInBedForAFewDaysButSillyMeFeelsGuiltyAboutSuchThingsNow

Tiago told me to have a lie down. I did. I felt better. I made some mac and cheese for us all (B loves it), and then I felt knackered again and needed a lie down. Pre-baby I did used to get exhaustion at least once a year and I’d just spend a weekend in bed, but it’s difficult now.

#YesterdayWeDidAVideoCallInTheKitchenAndIPutBsWalkerThereToSeeIfSheWouldUseIt #BeforeIHadEvenStartedTheCallSheStoodUpAndStartedToPushItWhichWasAHugeSurprise

She did not even think about it. She just got up and went until she ploughed into the cupboard.

#ITriedToGetHerToShowTiagoLaterButIThinkSheWasABitTiredAndDidNotDoItSoWell

She had just woken up from a nap, so her legs were probably not warmed up yet.

#SomeGoodNewsIsHeHadAnInterviewForHisBritishPassportAndThatWasFineSoFingersCrossedThatWillBeSortedSoon

It was good that he did not have to venture anywhere for it – though in Liverpool we lived really close to the passport office.

#WeAreDefinitelyInNeedOfSomeTimeAwaySomewhereAndWeHopeWeCanSeeHisFamilyThisSummer

Fingers crossed. He is hopefully finding out today how long he is allowed to go away for if the world doesn’t go back to full doomed mode.

#IDoWonderHowIWouldHaveBeenIfIHadHadABabyInNonCovidTimesButIGuessIWouldStillBeStrugglingInSomeWay

I just wouldn’t realise I lucky I was…

#IAmJustPissedOffThatItHasBeenATotalPostcodeLotteryWithWhatHasBeenOpenInDifferentAreasOverTheLastFewMonthsAndWithWhatSupportYouGet

This has all obviously done me some good as I feel less pissed off than when I wrote this 30+ minutes ago. But it has been a total postcode lottery and I am jealous that friends in other areas have had a lot more things to go to. Oh well, as we keep saying to ourselves ‘things can only get better’.


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Categories
Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Imitating B Watching The Washing Machine (1st May 2021)

A washing machine is on, my right hand is on the window, you can see part of my face reflected in the metallic surface of the machine and my nose can be seen in the top left hand corner.
Imitating B Watching The Washing Machine (1st May 2021)
 
#IfWeCanNotFindBThereIsAGoodChanceThatSheIsByTheWashingMachine
#PressingAllTheButtonsToSeeIfSheCanGetThemToMakeASound
#IfICallHerAndSheDoesNotComeThenIUsuallyOpenTheDishwasherAndSheQuicklyAppears
#ThisMorningSheKnockedOverACupOfColdCoffeeAndTiagosLaptopScreenWillNotWork
#NotLongBeforeIHadMovedNansCupsAroundToDecreaseTheRiskOfKnockingThemOver
#ThenTiagoPutHisCupOnTheTableWithHisLaptopNearbyAndThereYouGo
#BsWordRangeHasIncreasedToHerJustSayingDadAllTheTimeNow
#SheWokeUpWithASnottyColdYesterdaySoItHasBeenFunChasingHerAroundAfterHerAllTheTimeWithATissue
#IHaveNotTakenHerForAWalkInTwoDaysButTheWeatherHasBeenQuiteRubbish
#WeWentToTheSupermarketLastNightWhichSeemsToBeOurNewWeeklyFamilyTime
#SheIsEatingMoreOfOurMealsNowAndFeedingHerselfMoreWhichIsNice
#ItJustMakesThingsSoMuchEasier
#IAmLookingForwardToMoreThingsReopeningLikeSoftPlayPlaces
#ItWillBeNiceToTakeHerOutToFunActivitiesAndItIsBetterNowThatIAmConfidentAboutHerEatingOutsideTheHouse
#TheOtherDayWeWereAllInTheBathroomAndBStoodUpFromTheFloorWithoutHoldingOntoAnything
#ItMightHaveBeenBecauseSheWasSoBoredInThereButSheDidItAFewTimes
#MyNanSaidSheDidItYesterdayInTheLivingRoomButItIsNotARegularThingYet
#InOtherNewsIHaveBookedADrivingTheoryTest
#IHaveNotTriedToDriveSince2010WhenIWasTryingToPassMyTestBeforeMovingToLondon
#IRanOutOfTimeAndDueToNotNeedingToDriveInLondonAndConfidenceIssuesIDidNotKeepItUp
#IHaveThoughtAboutItOverTheYearsIncludingWhenWeLivedInLiverpool
#InLiverpoolIWentSoFarAsToBuyATheoryAppButNeverEvenOpenedIt
#ThenAfterBWasBornISaidIWantedToLearnToDriveButThenThePandemicHasDraggedOn
#LessonsHaveStartedUpAgainNowButNoOneHasAvailabilityAtTheMoment
#AndAllOfTheTestCentresAreFullyBookedUntilOctoberApparently
#ARidiculousNumberOfPeopleAreWaitingToTakeTheirTests
#SoIMightAsWellGetTheTheoryPartDoneAndThenTryToGetLessonsWhenICan
#IFeelLikeIAmRubbishWithSpatialAwarenessAndManoeuvresButIMightHaveMagicallyGainedSomeSkillsIn10PlusYearsOfNotDriving
#IThinkConfidenceIsABigPartOfItAllAndIDidNotHaveMuchThatLongAgo
#TiagoSaysHeFindsItWeirdThatISayIDoNotHaveTheConfidenceToDriveButCanTalkInFrontOf100PlusPeople

(6th June: A bit of a different picture. No flash as the space is too small to have my usual softbox, I’ve messed so many times with the colour of the image and it’s probably still wrong. Debated cropping my nose out but I quite like it.)

#IfWeCanNotFindBThereIsAGoodChanceThatSheIsByTheWashingMachine

It is usually the first place I look if I’ve turned my back and she’s crawled off.

#PressingAllTheButtonsToSeeIfSheCanGetThemToMakeASound

Changing the temperature, changing the spin, pausing it, trying to get any reaction from it.

#IfICallHerAndSheDoesNotComeThenIUsuallyOpenTheDishwasherAndSheQuicklyAppears

I might have mentioned it before. If she doesn’t respond to the noise of it opening then you know she is really engrossed by something.

#ThisMorningSheKnockedOverACupOfColdCoffeeAndTiagosLaptopScreenWillNotWork

Whoops.

#NotLongBeforeIHadMovedNansCupsAroundToDecreaseTheRiskOfKnockingThemOver

Nan likes to put her cups/glasses on a table mat and B likes to just pull the mat and anything that is on it. I am often monitoring the room for things that B can knock over.

#ThenTiagoPutHisCupOnTheTableWithHisLaptopNearbyAndThereYouGo

I was making dance videos so I wasn’t in the room to see the cup/B going towards it. Fail.

#BsWordRangeHasIncreasedToHerJustSayingDadAllTheTimeNow

I mainly just hear Dada and Dad all day.

#SheWokeUpWithASnottyColdYesterdaySoItHasBeenFunChasingHerAroundAfterHerAllTheTimeWithATissue

I could have imitated how B looked when she woke up yesterday morning, but it wouldn’t have been very delightful – dried snot on her nose.

#IHaveNotTakenHerForAWalkInTwoDaysButTheWeatherHasBeenQuiteRubbish

And I’ve been tired. Plus with her cold I did not really want to take her out yesterday. When I thought about taking her out it rained…

#WeWentToTheSupermarketLastNightWhichSeemsToBeOurNewWeeklyFamilyTime

Though we need to start planning meals the night before, not just as we are about to leave/are in the car.

#SheIsEatingMoreOfOurMealsNowAndFeedingHerselfMoreWhichIsNice

I try to make most meals be things where she can feed herself now. Yesterday I tried to turn her porridge into pancakes. They didn’t turn out as well as I hoped but they still tasted good and B fed herself.

#ItJustMakesThingsSoMuchEasier

It’s nice to get on and do other things like clean up, make food, eat etc while she eats.

#IAmLookingForwardToMoreThingsReopeningLikeSoftPlayPlaces

I have been looking at places to take her.

#ItWillBeNiceToTakeHerOutToFunActivitiesAndItIsBetterNowThatIAmConfidentAboutHerEatingOutsideTheHouse

A lot of kids places have cafes so we can get lunch there. It’ll be nice to have a change of scenery.

#TheOtherDayWeWereAllInTheBathroomAndBStoodUpFromTheFloorWithoutHoldingOntoAnything

I was super surprised.

#ItMightHaveBeenBecauseSheWasSoBoredInThereButSheDidItAFewTimes

We were just brushing our teeth and chilling while she watched us.

#MyNanSaidSheDidItYesterdayInTheLivingRoomButItIsNotARegularThingYet

She can not stand up for very long by herself yet but she is getting there.

#InOtherNewsIHaveBookedADrivingTheoryTest

I was going to try to study without booking a test yet, but I needed to book it as otherwise there would be no incentive to study.

#IHaveNotTriedToDriveSince2010WhenIWasTryingToPassMyTestBeforeMovingToLondon #IRanOutOfTimeAndDueToNotNeedingToDriveInLondonAndConfidenceIssuesIDidNotKeepItUp

I can not remember how many tests I failed. I tried to learn a few years before that too, but never did a test or my theory back then.

Now I’m kicking myself for not just trying to pass in London, but when I first moved there I was too scared to even get on a bus.

#IHaveThoughtAboutItOverTheYearsIncludingWhenWeLivedInLiverpool

I should have just done it as soon as I moved there. Oh well.

#InLiverpoolIWentSoFarAsToBuyATheoryAppButNeverEvenOpenedIt

Luckily I have it for now and it seems good. I have forgotten most of what I learned 10 years ago, but the test seems quite easy to revise for.

#ThenAfterBWasBornISaidIWantedToLearnToDriveButThenThePandemicHasDraggedOn

We went to a garden party and just before we went in I randomly said ‘I want to learn to drive’. It was during the early days of B when I was randomly feeling confident.

#LessonsHaveStartedUpAgainNowButNoOneHasAvailabilityAtTheMoment

I messaged 4 people.

#AndAllOfTheTestCentresAreFullyBookedUntilOctoberApparently

Great.

#ARidiculousNumberOfPeopleAreWaitingToTakeTheirTests

This article says 420,000 people are waiting for tests. How many of thoes people will need to retake the test?

#SoIMightAsWellGetTheTheoryPartDoneAndThenTryToGetLessonsWhenICan

I’d like to have a few lessons before I try to learn with Tiago – just to gain a bit of confidence by being in a car with dual controls first.

#IFeelLikeIAmRubbishWithSpatialAwarenessAndManoeuvresButIMightHaveMagicallyGainedSomeSkillsIn10PlusYearsOfNotDriving

I doubt it, but hopefully things will make more sense this time round.

#IThinkConfidenceIsABigPartOfItAllAndIDidNotHaveMuchThatLongAgo

I just need to not care what other people in their car think of me, and just get on with it.

#TiagoSaysHeFindsItWeirdThatISayIDoNotHaveTheConfidenceToDriveButCanTalkInFrontOf100PlusPeople

When I started to do improv comedy I thought something similar. It’s a skill that I’ll need in the future and it’ll make my life easier, so I’ll just try to do it asap. Not long ago I debated finding a TV show that was looking for learner drivers – I just had a search online and apparently a woman took 26 tests before she passed. That’ll be me…


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Categories
Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Imitating B Chewing On A Wet Flannel (28th April 2021)

Me with my hair up, holding a light blue flannel in both hands and putting part of it in my mouth. I am wearing a grey dress with black polka dots and am sat against a plain wall.
Imitating B Chewing On A Wet Flannel (28th April 2021)
 
#IAmSurprisedThatIsHasTakenMeThisLongToGetRoundToImitatingBChewingOnAWetFlannel
#AfterAMealIUsuallyWetAFlannelATryToWashHerFace
#HoweverSheJustWantsToChewOnItAsIGuessItMustFeelNiceForHerEverTeethingGums
#IBetWhenSheIsOlderBWillCallMeOutChoosingNotToShowHerFullFaceButDecidingToShareThingsLikeThis
#FairPlayFutureB
#SheHasStartedToSayGaGaMoreNow
#YesterdayWeGotSentAQuestionnaireToFillInAboutHerDevelopment
#AHealthVisitorWouldUsuallyVisitHerAround9To12MonthsToDoItButBecauseOfCovidTheyAreNotDoingItFaceToFace
#ThereAreQuestionsAboutCommunicationGrossMotorSkillsFineMotorSkillsProblemSolvingPersonalSkillsAndSocialSkills
#IThinkBNowDoesMostOfTheThingsThatItTalksAboutButIAmWorriedAboutFillingItInWrong
#ItIsShameThatSomeoneCanNotJustComeRoundAndDoItButIDoNotHaveAnyConcernsAboutHer
#LastWeekIWasWorriedThatSheWasTooHotInTheNightAndNowIThinkSheHasBeenTooCold
#SheWasAwakeForAnHourAndAHalfTheOtherNightButWentBackToSleepAfterIPutHerHeaterOn
#ItWasEitherThatThatFixedItOrItWasACoincidence
#IGotABitEmotionalYesterdaySeeingBHavingFunWithBabiesHerOwnAge
#WeHadAPicnicWithAMotherAndBabyFromOneOfHerClassesAndItWasReallyNice
#ThenSheWasJustCrawlingAroundAndInteractingWithBabiesInHerClass
#ThisIsHowItShouldHaveBeenTheWholeTimeSheHasBeenAliveButOhWell
#TheTeacherSaidThatTheyLearnTheConceptOfSharingAtFourWhichWeAllSighedAt
#ButReadingOnlineAnArticleSaysTheyReallyWantThingsToBeFairByTheTimeTheyAreSevenOrEight
#SoPlentyMoreYearsOfApologisingForBGrabbingToysAwayFromOtherKidsGreat
#MyAuntCameRoundToVisitUsAndBWasNotHappyAboutIt
#ThoughAgainAfterAWhileSheWasFineInHerCompanySoItIsGoodToKnowItIsJustAboutPerseverance
#IWasFeelingABitDownTheOtherDayAgainAndThenIRealisedThatTiagoHasNotHadAWeekOffSinceTheStartOfOctober
#NoWonderWeAreAllTired
#HeHasFinallyBookedAWeekOffInAMonthOrSoSoItIsNiceToHaveSomethingToCountDownTo
#INeedToWorkToBeMorePresentWhenIAmWithB
#ICompletedASurveyAboutSocialMediaTheOtherDayAndItAskedMeAboutMyMoodsWhenUsingIt
#IWasReallyNegativeAboutAllOfItSoINeedToUseItAndMyPhoneALotLess
#IWantToBeABetterMotherToBAndIWantToFeelHappier

#IAmSurprisedThatIsHasTakenMeThisLongToGetRoundToImitatingBChewingOnAWetFlannel

She has been doing it for a while.

#AfterAMealIUsuallyWetAFlannelATryToWashHerFace

Pretty standard.

#HoweverSheJustWantsToChewOnItAsIGuessItMustFeelNiceForHerEverTeethingGums

It makes sense. Yesterday she tried to teeth on my arm and it just hurt because of her one little sharp tooth.

#IBetWhenSheIsOlderBWillCallMeOutChoosingNotToShowHerFullFaceButDecidingToShareThingsLikeThis

Probably. I do wonder what she will think of this project, I do worry what she will think of this project. I hope she just finds it funny.

#FairPlayFutureB

I would say it’s your own fault for chewing on a flannel all the time, but you’ll probably just say ‘Mum, I was a baby I didn’t know any better!’

Fair play future B.

#SheHasStartedToSayGaGaMoreNow

Did I play Radio Ga Ga a few times this morning after B said it? Yes I did.

#YesterdayWeGotSentAQuestionnaireToFillInAboutHerDevelopment #AHealthVisitorWouldUsuallyVisitHerAround9To12MonthsToDoItButBecauseOfCovidTheyAreNotDoingItFaceToFace #ThereAreQuestionsAboutCommunicationGrossMotorSkillsFineMotorSkillsProblemSolvingPersonalSkillsAndSocialSkills #IThinkBNowDoesMostOfTheThingsThatItTalksAboutButIAmWorriedAboutFillingItInWrong

All the questions. It is a bit stressful. I started to do it, but I will wait until the weekend when Tiago is available to assess too.

#ItIsShameThatSomeoneCanNotJustComeRoundAndDoItButIDoNotHaveAnyConcernsAboutHer

It says if they don’t hear from us in 2 weeks then they will assume we have no worries.

(1st June: I didn’t bother finishing it in in the end as I was so pissed off that our friends in Liverpool have health visitors coming to them, and I don’t have any concerns about B’s development anyways.)

#LastWeekIWasWorriedThatSheWasTooHotInTheNightAndNowIThinkSheHasBeenTooCold

The joy never ends.

#SheWasAwakeForAnHourAndAHalfTheOtherNightButWentBackToSleepAfterIPutHerHeaterOn #ItWasEitherThatThatFixedItOrItWasACoincidence

We’d changed her nappy, given her paracetamol, given her water etc. Her room didn’t feel that cold, but it was 5am and we wanted to sleep so I thought it was worth a go.

#IGotABitEmotionalYesterdaySeeingBHavingFunWithBabiesHerOwnAge

I got a bit emotional writing this and thinking about it again.

#WeHadAPicnicWithAMotherAndBabyFromOneOfHerClassesAndItWasReallyNice

Just a normal thing that felt like a big deal.

#ThenSheWasJustCrawlingAroundAndInteractingWithBabiesInHerClass

I felt like we were sat in the cheeky corner as they were all just getting up to mischief. There are a lot of younger babies and B was looking at them, which was sweet.

#ThisIsHowItShouldHaveBeenTheWholeTimeSheHasBeenAliveButOhWell

I know a couple of them are starting nursery soon, so we’ll need to find some new friends in the class. People seem nice though so I’m sure it will be fine. The class is great and we all have a laugh which is really good.

#TheTeacherSaidThatTheyLearnTheConceptOfSharingAtFourWhichWeAllSighedAt

Sighed and groaned and lots of other negative reactions.

#ButReadingOnlineAnArticleSaysTheyReallyWantThingsToBeFairByTheTimeTheyAreSevenOrEight

I remember being about 6 in the playground and being like ‘Who wants to play Aladdin? I’ll be Jasmine.’ Someone would complain. ‘Okay, let’s play Beauty and the Beast. I’ll be Belle’. Then we moved and I became the shy kid.

#SoPlentyMoreYearsOfApologisingForBGrabbingToysAwayFromOtherKidsGreat

Luckily they don’t seem to mind about it so much yet.

#MyAuntCameRoundToVisitUsAndBWasNotHappyAboutIt

She was CRYING. Trying to look at her, then hiding and crying.

#ThoughAgainAfterAWhileSheWasFineInHerCompanySoItIsGoodToKnowItIsJustAboutPerseverance

It did take some time, but I guess she realises that we aren’t concerned and so feels fine. At classes she will go and sit next to someone else and forget about me, but I guess my Nan’s house and garden is her territory so she doesn’t like other people randomly coming along. Fair enough.

#IWasFeelingABitDownTheOtherDayAgainAndThenIRealisedThatTiagoHasNotHadAWeekOffSinceTheStartOfOctober #NoWonderWeAreAllTired

I can’t believe it’s been that long, but it does feel like forever ago.

#HeHasFinallyBookedAWeekOffInAMonthOrSoSoItIsNiceToHaveSomethingToCountDownTo

It’ll be nice to do some things as a family and B will be older so she will probably appreciate going to a farm or something. She does seem to like animals, but so do most kids her age I imagine.

#INeedToWorkToBeMorePresentWhenIAmWithB

I complain about being a bad mother, but I need to work on being better. It’s hard when I am tired, but I feel better when I feel like she is enjoying herself.

#ICompletedASurveyAboutSocialMediaTheOtherDayAndItAskedMeAboutMyMoodsWhenUsingIt #IWasReallyNegativeAboutAllOfItSoINeedToUseItAndMyPhoneALotLess

I had already decided that I was going to go on Instagram less and that just showed why I should go on it less. I really get little from it, which seems weird to say considering this whole project is built around the maximum number of hashtags that you can post on a post on Instagram.

#IWantToBeABetterMotherToBAndIWantToFeelHappier

I am tired and B will hopefully nap for another hour. I think I’m going to play a game of online Minesweeper then have a little rest and read a bit of the fourth Narnia book. I should probably just do the shoot now, but I might wait until B is having her second nap.

(1st June: I think B woke up 5 minutes after I finishing writing this, and I did the shoot during her second nap.)


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