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Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Portrait Of A Mother Of A Ten Month Old (14th April 2021)

Portrait Of A Mother Of A Ten Month Old (14th April 2021)
 
#TheLastFewDaysHaveFeltLikeHowTheLast10MonthsShouldHaveBeen
#MeetingUpWithFriendsAndTheirKidsAndBumpingIntoABabyFriendInTheParkAndGoingToAClass
#SheGotMudOnHerSuitForTheFirstTimeInTheParkAsSheCrawledAboutWithABaby
#SheLikesToTryToEatEverythingAndIAmTryingToBeOkayWithLettingHerEatSomeDirt
#IHadToGetATwigOutOfHerMouthAndThenIThoughtSheWasTryingToEatAnotherOne
#HoweverItWasACigaretteButtWhichIsObviouslyNotGreat
#IMadeAJokeAboutItBeingTooEarlyForHerToStartAndThenICringed
#MySocialSkillsAreReallyTerribleButIAmNoLongerGoingToBeatMyselfUpForIt
#IfPeopleLikeMeThenTheyLikeMeAndIfTheyDoNotThenIAmNotGoingToDwellOnIt
#BJustLooksSoHappySeeingOtherBabiesAndYoungKidsThatIReallyHopeTheRulesDoNotGetStricterAgain
#IPutBInAnOutfitForHerClassInsteadOfHerUsualOnesies
#ItWasProbablyOnlyTheThirdTimeThatSheHasBeenInAnOutfit
#TAndIBothThoughtThatSheDidNotLookLikeOurBaby
#IPlannedToGetThereEarlyButOfCourseIEndedUpRunningUpAHillWithAPushchair
#BJustLovedLookingAroundAtEveryoneAndSmilingAtAllTheBabies
#OfCourseSheDidNotWantToStayOnTheMatAndIHadToKeepGrabbingHerBack
#TheLastTimeSheWasAtThatClassSheWasATotallyDifferentBaby
#IDoFeelLikeWeHaveMissedOutOnALotButIJustWantToMakeSureWeHaveAReallyGreatSummerNow
#AtTheEndSheWasWavingAtEveryoneWithBothHandsAndTheWholeClassWentAww
#IDidFeelProud
#ISatUsInTheShadeToGiveBHerMilkAndOfCourseTheSunWentAwayStraightAway
#ItWasTheFirstTimeIHadFedHerFormulaInThePark
#ItTookHerAWhileToFallAsleepInHerPushchairButSheEventuallyDid
#AfterMonthsOfHavingAQuiteStrictScheduleIAmTryingToBeChillAboutAdaptingAndBeingFlexible
#TheOtherDayIGaveHerSomeLunchInTheParkWhichWasTheFirstTimeIHadDoneThatToo
#IAmTryingToBePreparedForSpontaneousMomentsWhichSoundsWeird
#JustHavingSnacksWithUsAndAPicnicBlanketAndToysInCaseTheWeatherIsSurprisinglyGood
#ItFeltWeirdToPackABagForBYesterdayWithAnythingSheMightNeedLikeNappiesAndAChangeOfClothes
#WeHaveNotReallyBeenOutFarOrLongEnoughForItToBeNecessary
#SometimesICatchMyselfAlreadyDreadingNextWinterButFingersCrossedWeWillNotHaveToGoThroughAllThatAgain

#TheLastFewDaysHaveFeltLikeHowTheLast10MonthsShouldHaveBeen

I can not believe that she is 10 months old. I say this every month and I will probably never stop saying it.

#MeetingUpWithFriendsAndTheirKidsAndBumpingIntoABabyFriendInTheParkAndGoingToAClass

Normal things that people used to do on the regular!

#SheGotMudOnHerSuitForTheFirstTimeInTheParkAsSheCrawledAboutWithABaby

I did feel proud. It took her a while to get the hang of crawling in it and then she was off.

#SheLikesToTryToEatEverythingAndIAmTryingToBeOkayWithLettingHerEatSomeDirt

Especially with not really seeing anyone as she hasn’t been to exposed to as many bugs as babies usually are.

#IHadToGetATwigOutOfHerMouthAndThenIThoughtSheWasTryingToEatAnotherOne

At first I was just being a bit too casual about it, but then I thought I should get it out of her mouth. I thought she’d swallowed it but she’d done a good job of hiding it.

#HoweverItWasACigaretteButtWhichIsObviouslyNotGreat

She turned her head and wouldn’t let me get it out. Grim.

#IMadeAJokeAboutItBeingTooEarlyForHerToStartAndThenICringed

‘It’s too early for you to start. Well, I hope you never start.’ *cringe*

#MySocialSkillsAreReallyTerribleButIAmNoLongerGoingToBeatMyselfUpForIt

I just need to try to work on my social skills. Need to stop having verbal diarrhoea. Need to learn how to spell diarrhoea right enough that spellcheck even knows what word I’m looking for. Need to just listen to people.

#IfPeopleLikeMeThenTheyLikeMeAndIfTheyDoNotThenIAmNotGoingToDwellOnIt

Oh, I’ll probably keep dwelling on it but it’s a waste of my energy. So here’s to trying!

#BJustLooksSoHappySeeingOtherBabiesAndYoungKidsThatIReallyHopeTheRulesDoNotGetStricterAgain

I’m getting a bit emotional. It’s so lovely to see her smiling at people and babies, even if they do try to put their fingers up her nose (babies not adults). I’m glad she doesn’t seem nervous or scared around others at the playground or in classes, though she does play shy sometimes.

#IPutBInAnOutfitForHerClassInsteadOfHerUsualOnesies

Outfit as in separate top and bottoms.

#ItWasProbablyOnlyTheThirdTimeThatSheHasBeenInAnOutfit

I think once for a baby class where I actually managed to find time to change her beforehand, once for pictures for my Dad (both before Xmas) and this class.

#TAndIBothThoughtThatSheDidNotLookLikeOurBaby

Outfits are annoying. I love onesies – they make it so easy to change her nappy and apply cream. After Tiago had changed her for bed we were like ‘yes that’s our baby!’

#IPlannedToGetThereEarlyButOfCourseIEndedUpRunningUpAHillWithAPushchair

Kate Bush’s Running Up That Hill keeps coming to mind, though I don’t think the song is actually about being late for baby classes. The class is not long after B’s lunchtime so I need to be more on it next week!

#BJustLovedLookingAroundAtEveryoneAndSmilingAtAllTheBabies

All the heart emojis. I think she enjoyed seeing people more than doing the class, though it was probably the same for me too.

B was generally sat facing everyone but occasionally she’d look back at me and my masked face. I think as she is older she recognises me more in it now.

#OfCourseSheDidNotWantToStayOnTheMatAndIHadToKeepGrabbingHerBack

In non-Covid times it would not be such an issue. Le sigh. I was joking that she hadn’t been trained for classes. *cringe*

#TheLastTimeSheWasAtThatClassSheWasATotallyDifferentBaby

She really didn’t do much, though it feels like a lifetime ago.

#IDoFeelLikeWeHaveMissedOutOnALotButIJustWantToMakeSureWeHaveAReallyGreatSummerNow

Everyone has obviously missed out on so much. These months waiting for classes to resume have been hard, but our big countdown is finally over.

#AtTheEndSheWasWavingAtEveryoneWithBothHandsAndTheWholeClassWentAww

We were singing a goodbye song and she was double waving.

#IDidFeelProud

It was cute. Again I’m getting emotional. I was so worried about the class and though she kept squirming away it was good.

#ISatUsInTheShadeToGiveBHerMilkAndOfCourseTheSunWentAwayStraightAway

We sat in a really awkward place as only awkward spots tend to have shade.

#ItWasTheFirstTimeIHadFedHerFormulaInThePark

Milestone. I am looking forward to her no longer having it in a couple of months though as it’s one less thing to think about, though I guess it will need to be replaced with something else.

#ItTookHerAWhileToFallAsleepInHerPushchairButSheEventuallyDid

I made the mistake of doing a lap around the park, I should have just walked towards home where the paving slabs are more uneven as I think it helps send her to sleep. It was weird noticing the surface of the paths again as I haven’t thought about it for a while – I don’t remember the last time B had a nap in her pushchair, possibly it was after the same class last year!

#AfterMonthsOfHavingAQuiteStrictScheduleIAmTryingToBeChillAboutAdaptingAndBeingFlexible

I haven’t had much to break/get in the way of her routine, so it’s quite sad that I see it as a challenge.

#TheOtherDayIGaveHerSomeLunchInTheParkWhichWasTheFirstTimeIHadDoneThatToo

I didn’t know if we’d be out long enough, but we were. She didn’t sleep well that night so I worried maybe it was due to that, but she had good meals yesterday and she woke up a couple of times. I think it’s probably because she’s teething?

#IAmTryingToBePreparedForSpontaneousMomentsWhichSoundsWeird

Just being prepared for staying out later or the weather suddenly improving, things like that.

#JustHavingSnacksWithUsAndAPicnicBlanketAndToysInCaseTheWeatherIsSurprisinglyGood

Being prepared for anything the day might throw at us. Well, to an extent. We’re never that far from home so we don’t need too much. Maybe later in the summer we can really go wild!

#ItFeltWeirdToPackABagForBYesterdayWithAnythingSheMightNeedLikeNappiesAndAChangeOfClothes

So weird. I was wondering why my back was aching a bit yesterday and it probably was from running up a hill while pushing a pushchair and having a backpack on. Again, wild!

#WeHaveNotReallyBeenOutFarOrLongEnoughForItToBeNecessary

I am scared of longer and further journeys but we can do it – if things have good timings. We will adapt I’m sure.

#SometimesICatchMyselfAlreadyDreadingNextWinterButFingersCrossedWeWillNotHaveToGoThroughAllThatAgain

I need to enjoy Spring and Summer, and even Autumn can be nice, before I get worried about Winter again. Hopefully there will be playgroups and things. Maybe I’ll have a job where B can be in nursery a bit. We’ll have to see.


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Categories
Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Imitating B’s Feet When She Holds Onto Furniture (11th April 2021)

Imitating B’s Feet When She Holds Onto Furniture (11th April 2021)

#IHaveSaidBeforeThatBIsAlwaysOnTheGoAndBangsHerHeadALot
#WellNowItIsEvenMoreSoThatMaybeWeShouldGetHerAHelmet
#ItIsWeirdThatWhenSheFallsAndMakesABigBangSheSeemsToCryLessThanWhenItBarelyMakesASound
#SheSeemsAbleToReachHerArmsFurtherAcrossTablesAndThingsNow
#SheLikesToReachForMyNansPapersAndChewOnThemOrRipThemUp
#WeHadToMoveNansOrnamentsOffHerRevolvingBookcaseAsBWasJustConstantlyTryingToPullThingsOff
#WeHaveReplacedThemWithBsBooksSoNowSheGetsDistractedByThemInstead
#ItIsNiceToHaveALittleLibraryThereThoughIAmGettingBoredOfReadingHerFavouritesOnRepeat
#SinceMyLastEntryIFeltMoreOptimisticAndLikeIWasGoingToStopWhiningAndBeMoreProactive
#WhichWasGreatForADayAndThenIFeltSuperDownAgain
#IMadeAPostInALocalGroupLookingForPlaymatesForBAndAskingAboutClassesAndThings
#ThePandemicHasBeenToughForEveryoneInDifferentWays
#AndIThinkItHasBeenATotalPostcodeLotteryWithWhatHasBeenGoingOnInLocalAreas
#TheGlimpseOfGoodWeatherMadeMeFeelGreatAsSittingOutsideMadeSuchAChangeToOurDay
#SoTheBadWeatherMadeMeFeelLockedInsideAgain
#YesterdayWeWentForAWalkInTheRainAsIFeltLikeINeededToGetOut
#HopefullyThingsCanOnlyGetBetterFromHereWithMoreThingsReopeningAndBetterWeatherOnTheHorizon
#IAmSureThatIWillSoonBeWhiningAboutHowIFeelLikeIDoNotFitInInLocalGroups
#ButTheChangeOfSceneryAndBreakInOurRoutinesWillBeReallyGoodForUs
#OrMeAnywaysAsBDoesNotReallyCareButIThinkSheWillLikeToSeeMoreYoungPeople
#IHaveMadeAnEffortToTryOutNewParksThisWeek
#TheOtherDayBWasSmilingAtAYoungGirlSoThatWasNice
#IThinkBMightHaveSeenATrainForTheFirstTimeTooWhichIsWeird
#SheDidNotSeemThatBotheredByItButSheDoesTakeNoteOfBusesThatIPointOut
#BIsStillTeethingALot
#ItHurtsWhenSheWantsToTeethOnMyFingerAndBitesItWithHerTooth
#ItStillLooksLikeItNeedsToComeOutOfHerGumsMore
#WeStartedToUseANewMoisturiserOnBsSkinAndItDoesNotSeemToBeGettingAnyWorse
#IFeelLikeIAmDefinitelyNotBeingTheBestMotherForBThatICouldBe
#INeedToJustDoBetterAndKeepTryingToMoveInAPositiveDirectionAndDoWhatIsBestForHer

#IHaveSaidBeforeThatBIsAlwaysOnTheGoAndBangsHerHeadALot

I am pretty sure I have anyways.

#WellNowItIsEvenMoreSoThatMaybeWeShouldGetHerAHelmet

We won’t. We just need to be more vigilant, but it’s hard to be on top form all day…

#ItIsWeirdThatWhenSheFallsAndMakesABigBangSheSeemsToCryLessThanWhenItBarelyMakesASound

Not always the case, but it happens enough for us to comment on it (and for me to hashtag about it).

#SheSeemsAbleToReachHerArmsFurtherAcrossTablesAndThingsNow

Probably with the help of always standing on her tiptoes, but she seemed to be doing that before she really knew what she was doing.

#SheLikesToReachForMyNansPapersAndChewOnThemOrRipThemUp

My Nan doesn’t really take them off her, so I can’t really blame B too much.

She has an obsession with grabbing my Nan’s heater (when it’s not on – it’s not on if she’s in the room). I tell her not to do it all the time. The other day she was just laughing at me for saying no.

#WeHadToMoveNansOrnamentsOffHerRevolvingBookcaseAsBWasJustConstantlyTryingToPullThingsOff

I feel like everything in the living room is constantly being moved around to avoid B’s grasp. My Nan likes to rearrange everything, but then B likes to get hold of them so it’s a constant game. Baby chess?

#WeHaveReplacedThemWithBsBooksSoNowSheGetsDistractedByThemInstead

Well it is a bookcase so it makes sense. I was worried B would just pull herself up on it and pull them off, but that doesn’t seem to be the case… yet.

#ItIsNiceToHaveALittleLibraryThereThoughIAmGettingBoredOfReadingHerFavouritesOnRepeat

The House That Jack Built, The Very Hungry Caterpillar, some new book about dinosaurs that feels very nice to touch but the story isn’t great… Her bedtime books are Peppa Pig’s My Daddy and Goodnight You, Goodnight Me.

#SinceMyLastEntryIFeltMoreOptimisticAndLikeIWasGoingToStopWhiningAndBeMoreProactive #WhichWasGreatForADayAndThenIFeltSuperDownAgain

I had a day where I felt amazing, and then crashhh.

(I don’t write these things for pity. I know I am not the only person who feels like this, so I hope by talking about things it might help someone else. I still have a befriender who calls me about my mental health. I thought about quitting, but my reasons for wanting to quit were the reasons why I needed to stay – mainly feeling stressed out and like I didn’t have time for it.)

#IMadeAPostInALocalGroupLookingForPlaymatesForBAndAskingAboutClassesAndThings

The thought got in my head so I thought I better do it. I spent ages daydreaming about what I would write while B was awake, then when she went to sleep I thought ‘no I shouldn’t do it’. But because I had spent so much time thinking about it I thought I had better do it.

People sent good suggestions, and a few people got in touch about hanging out. We’ll see if it happens though. I realised that I know more people around here than I think I do, so I’ve reached out to people to see if they want to hang out soon. That’s a positive at least.

#ThePandemicHasBeenToughForEveryoneInDifferentWays

I whine, but I know things have been a lot worse for other people. It’s been hard for us all in different ways.

#AndIThinkItHasBeenATotalPostcodeLotteryWithWhatHasBeenGoingOnInLocalAreas

Still jealous that friends have been going to playgroups/support groups/outside groups in other areas. I really should just organise my own group…

(3rd May: I’ve been throwing this ‘postcode lottery’ phrase around a lot this week as in Liverpool the health visitor’s are starting to do 10 month checks on babies in person, whereas they will not be coming to us – the Birmingham health visitor that is – so I just have to fill in a questionnaire.)

#TheGlimpseOfGoodWeatherMadeMeFeelGreatAsSittingOutsideMadeSuchAChangeToOurDay

It felt so good to sit outside with B and some toys. A bit of sun, a bit of fun and less distractions.

#SoTheBadWeatherMadeMeFeelLockedInsideAgain

This morning it was snowing/raining and I thought we would have to cancel plans with friends. I felt bummed out. Luckily it’s now sunny so we can meet them, hurrah!

#YesterdayWeWentForAWalkInTheRainAsIFeltLikeINeededToGetOut

We kept waiting for the rain to stop, but it didn’t so I made us go out. We took an umbrella, but in the end we didn’t even use it as it was only drizzling.

#HopefullyThingsCanOnlyGetBetterFromHereWithMoreThingsReopeningAndBetterWeatherOnTheHorizon

It has nearly been 4 months since we last went to a class in person. Typically with the walks that we don’t go on due to the timings not being great – one is moving to a better time for us later this month, so that should be good (if we can book a slot quick enough).

#IAmSureThatIWillSoonBeWhiningAboutHowIFeelLikeIDoNotFitInInLocalGroups

Watch this space.

#ButTheChangeOfSceneryAndBreakInOurRoutinesWillBeReallyGoodForUs

I think so. It will be good for B. Doing one of our classes on zoom has meant I have got to know one of the teachers fairly well (especially when B was the only person taking part the other week) and we might recognise some of the other Mums and babies.

#OrMeAnywaysAsBDoesNotReallyCareButIThinkSheWillLikeToSeeMoreYoungPeople

It will be good for her. It’s good for her to see that more people exist in the world. I just want to see her crawling round with other babies as she’s yet to do that!

#IHaveMadeAnEffortToTryOutNewParksThisWeek

Well, one we have been to before but the other one has been on our list for a while.

#TheOtherDayBWasSmilingAtAYoungGirlSoThatWasNice

I do not know how to interact with little kids. I’m not sure how she felt about B just staring at her.

#IThinkBMightHaveSeenATrainForTheFirstTimeTooWhichIsWeird

I do like seeing trains pass by (yeah weird I know), so we will be going by there again.

#SheDidNotSeemThatBotheredByItButSheDoesTakeNoteOfBusesThatIPointOut

I should have made a train noise perhaps. It may have gone by too fast for her to really register it.

#BIsStillTeethingALot

The neverending joy.

#ItHurtsWhenSheWantsToTeethOnMyFingerAndBitesItWithHerTooth

She finds it funny when I go ‘argh!’

#ItStillLooksLikeItNeedsToComeOutOfHerGumsMore

I think so? It looks like it should be bigger than how it is, but maybe it is how it should be? I don’t know.

#WeStartedToUseANewMoisturiserOnBsSkinAndItDoesNotSeemToBeGettingAnyWorse

It’s this one from Childs Farm. Someone on a local Mums whatsapp group mentioned it, so I thought we’d give it a go. We’re still using the Dermol 500 and Diprobase, and applying them regularly, but now I also put the moisturiser on her once or twice a day too. The fact that her skin doesn’t seem to be getting worse is good. I’d say her skin looks about 98% normal right now.

#IFeelLikeIAmDefinitelyNotBeingTheBestMotherForBThatICouldBe

I’m tired. I do not read to her as much as I should, I’ve given up with her YouTube baby classes, I probably do not talk to her as much as I should and the list goes on.

#INeedToJustDoBetterAndKeepTryingToMoveInAPositiveDirectionAndDoWhatIsBestForHer

I need to be better and do better for B. The other day I took her out twice even though the weather wasn’t good, so I might just take her out more. That’s why I want the better weather to come so we can just sit outside more, and maybe I can start giving her lunch in the park and we can just enjoy nature more.

We’ll see.


Thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying my blog (and/or the work I make) please consider supporting me by ‘buying me a coffee’ on Ko-fi – thanks!