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Oh Me, Oh Mãe

First Trip On A Train In A Year (16th March 2021)

(11th April – Yeah the photo is boring, but it felt like a big moment.)

First Time On A Train In A Year (16th March 2021)

#TodayINeededToGoToBirminghamCityCentreToShowThatIAmActuallyWhoISayIAmForATemporaryJob
#IBelieveThatIHadNotBeenOnATrainSince16thMarch2020ButThatSeemsABitTooMuchOfACoincidenceToBeTrue
#IHadNotBeenToBirminghamNewStreetStationSinceJanuary2020AndIHadNotWalkedAroundBrumSinceSometimeIn2019
#IGotToMyLocalStationSuperEarlyAsIGuessIAmUsedToAimingToLeaveEarlierThanUsualWhenIActuallyNeedToBeSomewhereWithB
#HoweverTodayIWasByMyselfAndItWasOdd
#BWasNotInAGoodMoodBeforeILeftButLuckilySheKnowsMyMumWellSoWasHappyClingingToHer
#TheTicketMachineSeemedToBeOutOfOrderSoIHadToGoToTheTicketCounter
#WhenIWasAboutToPayHeOpenedUpHisHatchAndForSomeReasonIThoughtIHadToGiveHimMyCard
#HePointedToTheCardMachineWhichIHadAlreadyNoticedBeforeAndIFeltABitEmbarrassed
#ThePriceSeemedLowerThanIThoughtItWouldBeSoIMadeSureThatHeDidNotGiveMeAChildTicket
#ThinkingAboutItAfterwardsItDidSoundLikeTheRightPriceButIPaidTheSameInLiverpoolForOneStopAndAFewMinutesTrainRide
#ISatOnABenchAndWatchedAFastTrainGoPastWhichFreakedMeOutABit
#MyCarriageWasEmptyButIStillManagedToGetTerriblePhotosOfMyExperience
#ThisRemindsMeOfWhenITookPhotosOfMeInASupermarketAsIHadNotBeenInOneFor6Months
#WellWhenIGotOffTheTrainTodayIWentIntoASupermarketAndGotMyselfAMealDeal
#ThenISatInVictoriaSquareAndRememberedHowAwkwardItIsToEatInPublic
#SomeYoungWomenWereShoutingKillTheBillAndIAdmiredTheirEnergy
#IWasAlreadyFeelingTiredAsIStayedUpTooLateLastNightSkippingThroughAllTheEpisodesOfTheCelebrityCircle
#ThatFeelsDumbToSayAfterTalkingAboutPeopleProtestingButItIsTheTruth
#MyMeetingWentFineAndIHaveLotsOfStuffToGetOnWithNow
#IRanForAnEarlierTrainHomeAsICouldNotBeBotheredToSitOnThePlatformForAgesAndThereWasNowhereElseToGo
#ItFeltSoOddRunningThroughTheCityCentreAndTrainStation
#IThoughtIWouldGetToldOffOrSomethingThoughIDoNotKnowWhy
#IWoreAMaskForTheLongestAmountOfTimeTodaySinceTheFirstLockdownStartedWhichSeemsABitLate
#ISawLotsOfDucksOnTheWayHomeFromTheStationAndItMadeMeMissBAsUsuallyIPointThemOutToHer
#GotHomeAndMyMumAskedIfIHadRanHome
#MaybeILookedRedOrPerhapsIWasEarlierThanSheExpected
#SheSaidThatAtLunchBHadBeenTryingToChewToastButWasCryingOutAsSheTriedToDoSo
#LaterOnIFeltABitOfASharpToothStartingToStickOutOfHerBottomGum
#TodayIWasTheFurthestAwayThatIHaveEverBeenAwayFromHerAndThoughItWasNiceToBeByMyselfForABitIWouldHaveRatherBeenWithHer

Got to keep this short. Got to keep this brief. Too much stuff to do and I probably shouldn’t have prioritised this. Whoops.

#TodayINeededToGoToBirminghamCityCentreToShowThatIAmActuallyWhoISayIAmForATemporaryJob

Makes sense. I could be totally catfishing an employer…

#IBelieveThatIHadNotBeenOnATrainSince16thMarch2020ButThatSeemsABitTooMuchOfACoincidenceToBeTrue

It seems weird that it may have actually been an exact year. 16th March 2020 was a Monday and I’m pretty sure I was not feeling too great that day, so I said I’d next go into the office (where I did some part-time work) maybe a few days later but by the time I got home I found out that pregnant women were classed as high risk.

#IHadNotBeenToBirminghamNewStreetStationSinceJanuary2020AndIHadNotWalkedAroundBrumSinceSometimeIn2019

In January 2020 I just passed through to change trains to go to my Nan’s. Not sure when the last time I actually walked around Brum city was…

#IGotToMyLocalStationSuperEarlyAsIGuessIAmUsedToAimingToLeaveEarlierThanUsualWhenIActuallyNeedToBeSomewhereWithB

I’ve walked past it with B before on the way to baby classes in December. With B I’m usually a bit slower as I have to push her, and sometimes it is more of a leisurely pace.

#HoweverTodayIWasByMyselfAndItWasOdd

I’ve been looking forward to this trip for a while let’s face it, but it felt so odd to be by myself.

#BWasNotInAGoodMoodBeforeILeftButLuckilySheKnowsMyMumWellSoWasHappyClingingToHer

I thought she must be teething badly again. I felt bad leaving her, but I needed to go.

#TheTicketMachineSeemedToBeOutOfOrderSoIHadToGoToTheTicketCounter

I was working myself up to touch the darn machine and it was out of order. I used a lot of hand sanitiser today.

#WhenIWasAboutToPayHeOpenedUpHisHatchAndForSomeReasonIThoughtIHadToGiveHimMyCard #HePointedToTheCardMachineWhichIHadAlreadyNoticedBeforeAndIFeltABitEmbarrassed

Lol. Awkward. I was going to go say something, but I couldn’t be bothered.

#ThePriceSeemedLowerThanIThoughtItWouldBeSoIMadeSureThatHeDidNotGiveMeAChildTicket

So he thought I was more odd.

#ThinkingAboutItAfterwardsItDidSoundLikeTheRightPriceButIPaidTheSameInLiverpoolForOneStopAndAFewMinutesTrainRide

I rarely pay for anything face to face these days, and yeah I temporarily forgot how much a train ticket costs.

#ISatOnABenchAndWatchedAFastTrainGoPastWhichFreakedMeOutABit

It seemed so… fast.

#MyCarriageWasEmptyButIStillManagedToGetTerriblePhotosOfMyExperience

I even took along a tripod for my phone, but felt awkward with the CCTV camera at the end of the carriage.

#ThisRemindsMeOfWhenITookPhotosOfMeInASupermarketAsIHadNotBeenInOneFor6Months

Yeah those photos were fairly bad. This project has evolved a bit, but as I have been making work throughout the pandemic I thought I should still talk about some of this stuff.

#WellWhenIGotOffTheTrainTodayIWentIntoASupermarketAndGotMyselfAMealDeal

Yes, speaking of supermarkets. It is sad that I do miss them so much. Tiago usually does our food shopping and due to rules we don’t go with him.

I was thinking what food I could get, but I felt overwhelmed by choice. I regretted my veggie wrap decision, but I enjoyed prawn cocktail crisps.

(This is top quality boring stuff for sure.)

#ThenISatInVictoriaSquareAndRememberedHowAwkwardItIsToEatInPublic

I thought about a time when I spent ages choosing somewhere to eat a sandwich before an improv class when I lived in London. In the end I chose an area that seemed quite quiet, and as I went to take a big bite I looked up and saw a male photographer taking a photo of me.

It then reminded me of a time in France when a guy was trying to get a picture of me applying suncream, and he was so close up that it was probably a bust shot. I kept turning around whenever he picked his camera up and I said no. He was getting annoyed with me, but I said no. Then he walked off and tried to take a picture of me from further away. Some things I missed from my memories post.

(11th April: I’ve also been thinking lately about the horrible male orthodontist that I had when I was a teenager. He used to accuse me of not wearing my retainer and would tighten it SUPER tight. For the record I always wore the darn thing (especially as I did not want him to tighten it so much), and now I’m older I think that he might have just been abusing his position of power to cause unnecessary pain. Maybe he didn’t and my teeth were (and still are) genuinely rubbish, but I do wonder about it.)

#SomeYoungWomenWereShoutingKillTheBillAndIAdmiredTheirEnergy

It felt like an alternate universe of sorts for me.

#IWasAlreadyFeelingTiredAsIStayedUpTooLateLastNightSkippingThroughAllTheEpisodesOfTheCelebrityCircle

I didn’t realise they were only going to be online for another 14 hours, so I just had to skim through them for the good bits. The channel 4 app needs to have 1.5x button like Netflix.

#ThatFeelsDumbToSayAfterTalkingAboutPeopleProtestingButItIsTheTruth

I should have gone to bed earlier. I’m feeling it now.

#MyMeetingWentFineAndIHaveLotsOfStuffToGetOnWithNow

But I’m writing this and I’m not keeping it brief like I said.

#IRanForAnEarlierTrainHomeAsICouldNotBeBotheredToSitOnThePlatformForAgesAndThereWasNowhereElseToGo

I would have loved to go to a museum or gallery, but no they’re not open until mid-May?!

#ItFeltSoOddRunningThroughTheCityCentreAndTrainStation #IThoughtIWouldGetToldOffOrSomethingThoughIDoNotKnowWhy

I don’t know why it felt so wrong. I kept away from people. I guess I just felt weird running in a mask.

#IWoreAMaskForTheLongestAmountOfTimeTodaySinceTheFirstLockdownStartedWhichSeemsABitLate

I didn’t even bother taking it off after my meeting until I left my local station.

#ISawLotsOfDucksOnTheWayHomeFromTheStationAndItMadeMeMissBAsUsuallyIPointThemOutToHer

I took terrible photos of them instead and showed her them when I got home.

#GotHomeAndMyMumAskedIfIHadRanHome #MaybeILookedRedOrPerhapsIWasEarlierThanSheExpected

I was earlier than I had said. I walked fast from the station too.

#SheSaidThatAtLunchBHadBeenTryingToChewToastButWasCryingOutAsSheTriedToDoSo

🙁

#LaterOnIFeltABitOfASharpToothStartingToStickOutOfHerBottomGum

It really didn’t feel nice. Will we have a tooth tomorrow? Will B sleep well? I hope it’s a yes to both, though I’m not looking forward to brushing her tooth.

#TodayIWasTheFurthestAwayThatIHaveEverBeenAwayFromHerAndThoughItWasNiceToBeByMyselfForABitIWouldHaveRatherBeenWithHer

Cheesy but true. It just seemed so odd being away from her. I passed women with babies and it felt odd to smile at them without B.

Time to do some work…


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