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Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Feeling A Bit More Like My Old Self (16th November 2020)

Phone photo of my computer screen showing me on zoom
Feeling A Bit More Like My Old Self (16th November 2020)
 
#PerhapsThisImageLooksMoreLikeIHaveBeenCalledInForQuestioningAtAFloweryPoliceStation
#ThanMeSatWaitingForStudentsToJoinAnOnlineTutorialSession
#TypicallyIActuallyWashedMyHairForItLastNightButThenHadMyHairUpMostOfTheDayAsItWasAnnoyingMe
#TodayWasTheLongestIHadSpentNotMotheringB
#IDidAnOnlineTalkAndSomeTutorialsAndItFeltSoGoodToBeDoingSomethingElseForAChange
#IDoEnjoyBeingWithBAndIAmGratefulToHaveHer
#IFeelLikeIDoComplainTooMuchButItHasBeenAnIntenseFivePlusMonthsOfMothering
#IKnowThatWeAreLuckyAndQuitePrivilegedAsAFamilySoIShouldWhineLess
#IWasNotPlanningToUseThisPictureForTheProjectButIJustSawItOnMyPhoneAndThoughtWhyNot
#IWasSupposedToDoAShootYesterday
#IWasPlanningAFamilyShootButThoughTheDayGotOffToAProductiveStart
#WeManagedToBreakTheGarageDoorAndSpentALotOfTimeFaffingWithThat
#SoWeDidNotGoForAWalkAndIDidNotManageToOrganiseMyWorkSpaceOrDoMuchWork
#InOtherNewsWeGotASecondHandFormulaPrepMachineTheOtherDayAndItIsLifeChanging
#NoMoreSettingAlarmsToRememberToBoilWaterOrFranticallyTryingToCoolTheMilkDown
#AndNowThatBIs5MonthsIAmTryingToDropOneOfHerNaps
#IAlsoRealisedThatIHaveBeenWayTooStrictWithHerScheduleAndFrettingAboutHerWakeWindowsAndThings
#SoTheOtherDayIChilledOutABitWithItToAllowHerToGoToBedAroundSevenFifteenIsh
#ThoughTheLast2NightsSheHasGoneToBedEarlierDueToTryingToDropTheThirdNap
#SheHasWokeUpOnceInTheNightAndSheWasAwakeLongerThanNeedBeAsITriedNotToFeedHer
#OnceYouLiftHerOutOfTheCotToChangeHerNappyThoughYouHaveToFeedHerOrSheWillNotSleep
#ButOnceSheIsFedSheIsQuiteContentAndGoesBackToSleepAlright
#YesterdayIFeltBadAsSheWokeUpAt8InTheMorningAndIDidFretABitAboutHerSchedule
#SoTodayISetAnAlarmFor7OnceSheWentBackToSleep
#IFeelMorePositiveButLetUsSeeHowLongItLasts
#INeededADayToDoSomethingDifferentAndFeelLikeMoreThanJustAMother
#NotThatThereIsAnythingWrongWithJustBeingAMother
#IJustWasNotPreparedForHowMuchMyLifeWouldChangeWithABaby
#INeedToStretchAsIHaveNotInTheLastCoupleOfDaysAndIAcheFromAllTheBabyCarryingAndStuffMoving

(I wrote this post on 16th November.)

#PerhapsThisImageLooksMoreLikeIHaveBeenCalledInForQuestioningAtAFloweryPoliceStation #ThanMeSatWaitingForStudentsToJoinAnOnlineTutorialSession

Not that I have ever been called in for questioning at a police station, but it does look like I’ve been up to something.

#TypicallyIActuallyWashedMyHairForItLastNightButThenHadMyHairUpMostOfTheDayAsItWasAnnoyingMe

I was not going to wash it, but I thought I should make the effort. My hair looked quite good at 2am, but I brushed it when I got up and it looked bad.

Not that I usually care about my hair, but I thought I better make the effort for an online talk. (There were 50ish people in the end – thanks University of Hertfordshire.)

#TodayWasTheLongestIHadSpentNotMotheringB

I spent about 6 hours away from her in the end.

#IDidAnOnlineTalkAndSomeTutorialsAndItFeltSoGoodToBeDoingSomethingElseForAChange

It was like a flashback to my pre-baby life.

#IDoEnjoyBeingWithBAndIAmGratefulToHaveHer

I do appreciate her, but it is a full-on job.

#IFeelLikeIDoComplainTooMuchButItHasBeenAnIntense5PlusMonthsOfMothering

5+ months of mothering and we’ve only been to one baby class in real life, and haven’t had many chances to hang out with friends lately.

#IKnowThatWeAreLuckyAndQuitePrivilegedAsAFamilySoIShouldWhineLess

I am lucky to have Tiago, and for my Nan to provide an extra pair of eyes now. We’re very fortunate and I really need to get over myself and whine less.

#IWasNotPlanningToUseThisPictureForTheProjectButIJustSawItOnMyPhoneAndThoughtWhyNot

I was just going to post it on my Instagram stories, but I saw the ‘potential’ of it.

Did I ever think that I’d be including a photo of my computer screen in a project? No. To be fair I probably have done it before in other projects that aren’t shown or it may have been edited out of one series.

#IWasSupposedToDoAShootYesterday #IWasPlanningAFamilyShootButThoughTheDayGotOffToAProductiveStart

Yeah, I thought it was probably time to do another family shoot.

#WeManagedToBreakTheGarageDoorAndSpentALotOfTimeFaffingWithThat

Great.

#SoWeDidNotGoForAWalkAndIDidNotManageToOrganiseMyWorkSpaceOrDoMuchWork

Perfect.

I feel like weekends are my best time to get things done, but Tiago is always tired and at the moment we are trying to organise our stuff. I’ll just have to do it this week…

I felt bad that I only did one shoot last week, but I did spend a lot of time preparing my presentation – cutting out some projects and adding in newer stuff.

#InOtherNewsWeGotASecondHandFormulaPrepMachineTheOtherDayAndItIsLifeChanging

It’s an absolute gamechanger. I wasn’t going to bother for a month or so (we’re not sure for how long we will formula feed her), but after talking to a friend I was swayed.

#NoMoreSettingAlarmsToRememberToBoilWaterOrFranticallyTryingToCoolTheMilkDown

It’s always a faff when an alarm doesn’t get set and you have a very upset baby to deal with…

#AndNowThatBIs5MonthsIAmTryingToDropOneOfHerNaps

She is supposed to nap less during the day, which means potentially less time to do things. Fun.

#IAlsoRealisedThatIHaveBeenWayTooStrictWithHerScheduleAndFrettingAboutHerWakeWindowsAndThings

I am not sure why I have been so obsessed. Possibly, because we’re dealing with a second lockdown and I can’t go anywhere? True.

I was like ‘she has to be awake for 90 minutes, then 105 minutes twice, then 120 minutes. She can’t go to bed unless she has been awake for those full wake windows’. So some days her bedtime was getting a bit later.

#SoTheOtherDayIChilledOutABitWithItToAllowHerToGoToBedAroundSevenFifteenIsh

Great. Does she wake up after a bit? Yes. Everyday is a new day though, and it means we have a bit more time in the evening to do things.

#ThoughTheLast2NightsSheHasGoneToBedEarlierDueToTryingToDropTheThirdNap

Yeah, things get a bit messed up by the evening. I am learning to be flexible though…

#SheHasWokeUpOnceInTheNightAndSheWasAwakeLongerThanNeedBeAsITriedNotToFeedHer

This is about the last two nights. I just hoped that she would go back to sleep both times as she wasn’t being too loud.

#OnceYouLiftHerOutOfTheCotToChangeHerNappyThoughYouHaveToFeedHerOrSheWillNotSleep

Sometimes I think she just needs her nappy changed, but then she gets rowdy.

#ButOnceSheIsFedSheIsQuiteContentAndGoesBackToSleepAlright

Last night I got away with breastfeeding her, but the night before we had to give her some formula as she would not breastfeed.

#YesterdayIFeltBadAsSheWokeUpAt8InTheMorningAndIDidFretABitAboutHerSchedule

Whoops. It was Sunday. I need to chill more…

#SoTodayISetAnAlarmFor7OnceSheWentBackToSleep

And then I wished that I had not set one incase she slept longer.

#IFeelMorePositiveButLetUsSeeHowLongItLasts

After being reunited with B I did feel knackered after 5 minutes.

#INeededADayToDoSomethingDifferentAndFeelLikeMoreThanJustAMother

It is good for me and good for her.

#NotThatThereIsAnythingWrongWithJustBeingAMother

Kudos to women who can just be with their kid for 24/7.

#IJustWasNotPreparedForHowMuchMyLifeWouldChangeWithABaby

You can imagine it, but it’s hard to actually imagine it.

#INeedToStretchAsIHaveNotInTheLastCoupleOfDaysAndIAcheFromAllTheBabyCarryingAndStuffMoving

I did do a baby yoga class today this morning actually, but it’s not the same as just doing a video by myself.

I’m going to go stretch now…


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