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Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Twinning With My Child In My Nan’s (And Now Our) Home (31st October 2020)

Twinning With My Child In My Nan’s (And Now Our) Home (31st October 2020)
 
#WellIAmWritingTheseHashtagsInHopeThatIGetToTakeThisPhotoToday
#TheMorningDidNotStartWell
#TiagoHasGoneToLiverpoolToCleanTheFlatAndHandInTheKeys
#BHasAHoarseVoiceAndSeemsABitUnderTheWeather
#UsuallyHerFirstNapOfTheDayIsTheEasiestButSheWouldNotGoToSleep
#IFedHerAndGaveHerSomeParacetamolAsSheSeemsToStillBeTeething
#YouAreSupposedToGiveItABitAtATimeButIAccidentallyPushedTheSyringeAllTheWayIn
#ICriedABitAsIFeltSoOverwhelmed
#ThankfullyMyFirstInstinctIsNoLongerToTakeAPhotoOfMyselfCrying
#EventuallySheSleptAndIPlannedToGetThingsDone
#ButIGotNothingDone
#WeAreGivingHerMoreFormulaFeedsNow
#ItIsSuchAFaffButAtLeastIKnowSheIsGettingEnoughToEat
#IHaveSignedUpForAWeaningClassButIHopeICanChangeItToNextWeekInstead
#AsMaybeIShouldStartSoonerRatherThanLater
#SheDefinitelySeemsInterestedInFood
#IHaveSetUpMyCameraToTakeAPhotoOfBAndIOnMyNansRug
#ITookASimilarPhotoOnMyParentsCarpetAsItCarpetRemindsMeSoMuchOfTheirHouse
#WhereasThisRugIsVeryMuchMyNansHouseToMe
#IWasWaitingForBsStomachToSettleAfterHerFeedToTakeThePhoto
#IThoughtIShouldRestartMyComputerButThereWasAnUpdate
#ObviouslyItTookOverAnHourToComeBackOnSoIMissedThatWindowForPhotos
#TheHealthVisitorCalledMeTheOtherDayAndSaidMyDoctorNeverSaidIWasFeelingLow
#ObviouslyNowWeHaveMovedSoIHaveToBeTransferredToANewHealthVisitor
#SheSaidToCallOurNewDoctorIfIWasWorriedAboutBsFeeding
#IDidTryToRingThemButIThinkICalledTheOneAfternoonThatTheyAreClosed
#IThoughtAboutItAndIKnowSheDrinksEnoughFromABottle
#ItIsJustWithBreastfeedingINeverKnowHowMuchSheIsGetting
#IAmSadThatItSeemsLikeOurBreastfeedingJourneyIsComingToAPrematureEnd
#WellInTheEndIDidTheShootAfterHerNextFeedAndItWasQuiteRelaxing

I’m writing this on 31st October 2020.

I don’t feel like writing today. I just want to take photos, but I feel unable to because of space and catching B at the right time today.

#WellIAmWritingTheseHashtagsInHopeThatIGetToTakeThisPhotoToday

Let’s see if I get to do the shoot that I want to today… (I did).

#TheMorningDidNotStartWell #TiagoHasGoneToLiverpoolToCleanTheFlatAndHandInTheKeys #BHasAHoarseVoiceAndSeemsABitUnderTheWeather #UsuallyHerFirstNapOfTheDayIsTheEasiestButSheWouldNotGoToSleep

I didn’t bother texting Tiago as I didn’t want to stress him out. The flat is in an absolute state, so I feel bad that he has to tackle it himself. At the same time I am a bit jealous of him being out all day and just doing something non-baby related. I love B, but I would love a day off – but probably not to clean.

#IFedHerAndGaveHerSomeParacetamolAsSheSeemsToStillBeTeething

I tried breastfeeding her, but more on that later.

#YouAreSupposedToGiveItABitAtATimeButIAccidentallyPushedTheSyringeAllTheWayIn

I felt so terrible, but she actually wasn’t that bothered. She didn’t spill much either.

Usually Tiago and I do it together and T is much better at pushing the syringe – I say that but we did get it all over B and I the other day.

#ICriedABitAsIFeltSoOverwhelmed #ThankfullyMyFirstInstinctIsNoLongerToTakeAPhotoOfMyselfCrying

I didn’t even think about photographing myself as I felt so bad for B – you’ll be pleased to hear.

It does just get a bit much sometimes. She’s been so clingy this week and it’s hard to know what is wrong with her. My Mum said to call the doctors if I was worried about her, but I thought I would see how she was in an hours time. She seemed quite normal…

#EventuallySheSleptAndIPlannedToGetThingsDone

Great!

#ButIGotNothingDone

Fail. I had breakfast and didn’t do much else. I should have at least stretched, but nope. I guess I did try to think about how we’d organise the space we have here, and I found where we put the baby thermometer. Hurrah. So I did some things, but not really what I would have liked to do – take lots of pictures!

#WeAreGivingHerMoreFormulaFeedsNow #ItIsSuchAFaffButAtLeastIKnowSheIsGettingEnoughToEat

Boiling the water and leaving it for 30 minutes, but no longer (that’s what the box says). Then putting the powder in – to 2 small bottles as we don’t have one for as much milk as she needs and it seems like a waste for so late in the feeding game. Then you have to cool them down…

It’s all fine unless your baby is screaming as you suspect she’s hungry, but she’s usually not ready for the next feed yet.

Maybe I’m f-ing it all up by giving her breastmilk and formula – she has to have the formula in a much bigger quantity. I just don’t want to stop completely breastfeeding her.

Perhaps everything was fine and I’ve f-ed it up by giving her formula, but I do feel better when I know she is eating.

#IHaveSignedUpForAWeaningClassButIHopeICanChangeItToNextWeekInstead #AsMaybeIShouldStartSoonerRatherThanLater

The NHS says 6 months now, but a friend said a lot of people start at 5 months.

#SheDefinitelySeemsInterestedInFood

She always watches us when she eats and she can sit up better and has better hand to mouth coordination. This morning she was nearly putting her toes in her mouth…

(On the course they said that a baby watching you eat is not a sign – they’re just interested in what you do.)

#IHaveSetUpMyCameraToTakeAPhotoOfBAndIOnMyNansRug

It is waiting there in hope.

#ITookASimilarPhotoOnMyParentsCarpetAsItCarpetRemindsMeSoMuchOfTheirHouse

Yeah, this one (or fancy link box below).

#WhereasThisRugIsVeryMuchMyNansHouseToMe

Yeah, she’s had it for a very long time.

#IWasWaitingForBsStomachToSettleAfterHerFeedToTakeThePhoto

She did have a lot of formula – well her usual amount – and I did not want her being sick.

#IThoughtIShouldRestartMyComputerButThereWasAnUpdate

I thought it might be a quick update.

#ObviouslyItTookOverAnHourToComeBackOnSoIMissedThatWindowForPhotos

Yeah, it wasn’t a quick update.

#TheHealthVisitorCalledMeTheOtherDayAndSaidMyDoctorNeverSaidIWasFeelingLow

I talked about it a bit in my previous post, but thought I should record it in the hashtags.

#ObviouslyNowWeHaveMovedSoIHaveToBeTransferredToANewHealthVisitor

About 10 minutes after I wrote this a letter came in the post that talked about a health visitor coming to visit us here etc. I’m quite relieved, though I worry they will tell me off for how I’m doing things. Well, I’m just trying to do my best.

#SheSaidToCallOurNewDoctorIfIWasWorriedAboutBsFeeding #IDidTryToRingThemButIThinkICalledTheOneAfternoonThatTheyAreClosed

I was worried, but I felt awkward about ringing.

#IThoughtAboutItAndIKnowSheDrinksEnoughFromABottle

So I was glad that they were closed as I know that she is getting enough one way or another – if she wasn’t drinking very much from the bottle then I would definitely call.

#ItIsJustWithBreastfeedingINeverKnowHowMuchSheIsGetting

Sometimes I wish she was see through and that her stomach had measurement labels on it so I could see.

#IAmSadThatItSeemsLikeOurBreastfeedingJourneyIsComingToAPrematureEnd

It’s annoying that now her latch is really good I don’t think she is getting enough via le boobz. She hasn’t slept through the night the last couple of nights – last night I gave her a boobfeed when she woke up not long after we went to bed so Tiago didn’t have to give her a dream feed and so I didn’t have to pump. Then she woke up about 1am or something and I fed her as she didn’t seem like she was going to go back to bed otherwise.

Blah blah blah, but yeah I wish she was just breastfeeding at every feed. She’s not though and I have to deal with the path I’ve led her down…

#WellInTheEndIDidTheShootAfterHerNextFeedAndItWasQuiteRelaxing

It was quite nice just lying on the floor with B and chilling out-ish. She seemed pretty chilled, but I was a little stressed out about getting a good picture.

I haven’t chosen one yet, but I think there is something that will do. (There was.)


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