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Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Working On The Stairs, Listening Out For B (27th October 2020)

Sat on the bottom step of the stairs with my face lit by the light of my laptop
Working On The Stairs, Listening Out For B (27th October 2020)
 
#HereIsATerriblePhonePictureOfMeWorkingOnTheBottomOfTheStairs
#BHadGoneToBedButSheKeptWakingUpAndCryingSoItWasEasierToJustSitThereAndWork
#SheIsDefinitelyTeethingNow
#IFeelSoSorryForHerAsItMustBeHorrible
#IKnewWithHavingABabyThatIWouldDreadTheTeethingStages
#TodaySheHadFormulaForTheSecondTime
#SheHadHerFirstBottleTwoDaysAgoAsIWasWorriedThatSheWasNotGettingEnough
#IGaveHerSomeTodayWhenSheWouldBarelyBreastfeedDuringOneFeed
#IPumpedAfterwardsAndBarelyAnythingCameOut
#MaybeItIsDueToStressOrMaybeItIsPermanentlyDryingUp
#IDoFeelBummedOutByItButINeedToMakeSureSheIsGettingFed
#ThereIsNoPointTorturingMyself
#TiagoWentFoodShoppingTonightSoHeBoughtABoxOfFormula
#IWouldStartWeaningHerButItSeemsThat6MonthsIsTheRecommendationNow
#SheIs4AndAHalfMonthsSoItIsNotMuchLongerToGo
#IGuessIWillTryToBreastfeedHerStillAsMuchAsICanThough
#InOtherNewsIHaveNotUnpackedMuchAtAll
#IAmTiredFromHavingToQuicklyPackEverythingUp
#TiagoNeedsToGoBackToCleanUpTheFlatAndPackTheLastFewThings
#ItWasANightmareGettingTheThingsWeNeededAndOurselvesInTheCar
#InTheEndWeJustBottleFedBSomeExpressedMilkInTheCarInTheCarparkJustSoWeCouldGetOutOfTheFlat
#WeStartedTheDayOptimisticAndThoughtWeWouldStartWithTheCleaning
#WeEvenWentForAWalkToGetLunchFromOurFavouriteFalafelPlace
#AGuyWalkedPastUsInTheStreetAndWasImpressedByTiagoCarryingB
#HeSaidHeWantedOneButIDoNotKnowIfHeWentTheCarrierOrBabyOrBoth
#BsScheduleGotSuperMessedUpButSheDidSleepForTheWholeCarJourneyAtLeast
#TodayIDecidedToExploreMoreOfTheAreaAsEvenThoughIHaveSpentSoMuchTimeHereIStillDoNotKnowWhatIsInCertainDirections
#ILikeToDrinkALotOfWaterWhenIWalkToTryToHelpWithMilkProduction
#AGuyRanPastSayingHeHopedItWasVodka
#PeopleSeemFriendlyAroundHereButIAmStressedOutByTheNarrowPaths

I am writing this on 28th October. I was too tired to do it last night/I didn’t have much time as I was actually planning on doing a shoot today, but this seemed shareable.

#HereIsATerriblePhonePictureOfMeWorkingOnTheBottomOfTheStairs

I think you can just about see that my face is lit up by the laptop screen. I balanced my phone on the radiator to take this picture.

I have really started to embrace the self-timer setting on my phone since having a baby; often it’s the easiest way to get a picture with B.

#BHadGoneToBedButSheKeptWakingUpAndCryingSoItWasEasierToJustSitThereAndWork

T had gone out food shopping and she seemed a bit too happy at bedtime, so I knew it was too good to be true. It’s always when she goes to bed at a reasonable time that she plays up for ages.

#SheIsDefinitelyTeethingNow

We need to start giving her paracetamol before she goes to bed as we end up giving it to her a lot later on and then she seems to sleep well.

#IFeelSoSorryForHerAsItMustBeHorrible

She just chews on my fingers a lot, though we have 4 different teethers now. Actually more than that I think, but her mouth is quite small at the moment, so a finger fits better.

#IKnewWithHavingABabyThatIWouldDreadTheTeethingStages

This is just the first phase of more to come. You can’t explain to her what is happening and she can’t communicate, so we’re just guessing and hoping we get things right.

#TodaySheHadFormulaForTheSecondTime #SheHadHerFirstBottleTwoDaysAgoAsIWasWorriedThatSheWasNotGettingEnoughFood #IGaveHerSomeTodayWhenSheWouldBarelyBreastfeedDuringOneFeed

It’s some pre-mixed stuff. At her age they recommend 210ml at a feed, but they sell them in 200ml bottles. Cunning. She drank the whole bottle, but I think most babies will if you keep offering them milk.

#IPumpedAfterwardsAndBarelyAnythingCameOut

She had been on for a little bit but not much at all. Her first bf feed of the day is quite long as there is more milk as they have not been used in 8 hours-ish usually.

After that the feeds get very short and I think she drinks them dry, and makes a sound when she comes off. Though sometimes she will drink more, but maybe it’s to do with teething and it hurts her? She seems to prefer the bottle more as I think she uses it as a teether.

#MaybeItIsDueToStressOrMaybeMyMilkIsPermanentlyDryingUp

I am a bit stressed out.

She’s currently having her first nap of the day now, which is a great time to get things done. She usually sleeps for an hour and a half, but I can hear her now after 40 minutes. I’m just leaving it a minute in case she goes back to sleep.

She’s up now. I think it might be because of teething, so we gave her some paracetamol. I feel awkward about giving her it as I don’t like to take it much myself, but my Mum says that it’s best not to be shy about it. I’m sure if B could say if she wanted it or not she would want it.

#IDoFeelBummedOutByItButINeedToMakeSureSheIsGettingFed #ThereIsNoPointTorturingMyself

Carrying this on now that she’s gone down for another nap – nearly 2 hours later.

When other people have had problems with their milk supply I’ve said ‘why do they torture themselves? why do they not just switch to formula?’ but I get it now.

However, I spend the day worrying about whether she is getting enough or not. This morning I thought she must be as she is sleeping quite well through the night at the moment, so she can’t be too hungry.

Talking to my Mum I think that maybe she is alright. It is normal for babies to lose their appetites as their mouths hurt, so we’ll see. I think I should maybe do one formula feed a day though.

#TiagoWentFoodShoppingTonightSoHeBoughtABoxOfFormula

Reading the instructions it seems like such a faff. I think this is also why I have changed my tune a bit with her feeding…

My Mum says that B would be crying a lot more if she was hungry and not sleeping so well at night.

#IWouldStartWeaningHerButItSeemsThat6MonthsIsTheRecommendationNow #SheIs4AndAHalfMonthsSoItIsNotMuchLongerToGo

I think I’m going to do a workshop so that I do feel more comfortable with weaning as it’s not too far off now.

#IGuessIWillTryToBreastfeedHerStillAsMuchAsICanThough

I don’t want my supply to drop even lower. There’s also something in breast milk that acts as a painkiller, which is good for her teething.

#InOtherNewsIHaveNotUnpackedMuchAtAll #IAmTiredFromHavingToQuicklyPackEverythingUp

Packing and unpacking fatigue.

#TiagoNeedsToGoBackToCleanUpTheFlatAndPackTheLastFewThings

I am using us not having our box of hangers as an excuse, but once we get them I do hope to start putting things away and sorting through our stuff. We definitely need to start getting rid of more things.

#ItWasANightmareGettingTheThingsWeNeededAndOurselvesInTheCar

I would not wish moving with a baby during a pandemic on anyone.

#InTheEndWeJustBottleFedBSomeExpressedMilkInTheCarInTheCarparkJustSoWeCouldGetOutOfTheFlat

We were hoping to leave sooner, but by the time we got in the car B hadn’t slept in 3 hours. I thought there was no point just letting her sleep as I usually feed her every 3 hours during the day, so it made sense for her to eat before we left.

#WeStartedTheDayOptimisticAndThoughtWeWouldStartWithTheCleaning #WeEvenWentForAWalkToGetLunchFromOurFavouriteFalafelPlace

I had a really nice chat with the guy in the falafel place. We didn’t get out for a walk the day before, so it was nice to have a last goodbye walk in Liverpool even though it was mainly in the rain.

#AGuyWalkedPastUsInTheStreetAndWasImpressedByTiagoCarryingB #HeSaidHeWantedOneButIDoNotKnowIfHeWentTheCarrierOrBabyOrBoth

It’s always typical that when you are about to leave somewhere that you start having nice interactions with people – not that we hadn’t had any before, but I just wished that I had had more sooner.

B and I had been going on daily walks and no one had spoken to us randomly before.

#BsScheduleGotSuperMessedUpButSheDidSleepForTheWholeCarJourneyAtLeast

See above. She definitely wouldn’t have slept the whole time if we haven’t fed her before. It made sense to do it first as otherwise we would have had to stop at a service station, which would have been more stressful.

#TodayIDecidedToExploreMoreOfTheAreaAsEvenThoughIHaveSpentSoMuchTimeHereIStillDoNotKnowWhatIsInCertainDirections

I just needed to get out of the house. My daily walk is quite relaxing and it feels good to get out and about. Today I’ll maybe try to discover some other new places.

#ILikeToDrinkALotOfWaterWhenIWalkToTryToHelpWithMilkProduction #AGuyRanPastSayingHeHopedItWasVodka

I had checked behind to see if anyone was coming as I thought I could hear someone. I then must have taken a swig and it probably looked a bit suspicious.

It was nice to have an interaction with someone though. Two days before someone had warned me about a lot of goose poo on the path up ahead.

#PeopleSeemFriendlyAroundHereButIAmStressedOutByTheNarrowPaths

Yeah, the narrow goose poo paths.

I also had a chat with a neighbour yesterday – we didn’t know our neighbours in Liverpool, so it’s nice having more people to chat to.

(12th November 2020: Typically since then I haven’t had any interactions with the neighbours or spoke to any people whilst out on a walk – except when I decide just to wait for them to pass instead of squeezing down a path and they say thanks.)


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