Categories
Oh Me, Oh Mãe

I Feel Like This Somehow Sums Up Today (23rd October 2020)

I wrote this post on 23rd October. I think I’m going to stop adding updates to posts when I’m about to publish them for now as often I feel like I’m adding in the same notes for many posts. Also, I think all the additions make the entries harder to read.

Breastmilk on my trousers and the floor
I Feel Like This Somehow Sums Up Today (23rd October 2020)
 
#ThisPhotoShowsLeakedMilkOnMyNewTrousersThatMyMumGotMeForMyBirthday
#WhatADay
#TiagoIsOnTheWayBackFromDrivingAVanLoadOfStuffToBirmingham
#InTheEndAFriendHelpedUsEmptyTheFlatWhichAbsolutelySavedUs
#AsOfYesterdayBHasDecidedThatSheDoesNotLikeBeingBreastfed
#SoTodayWhileTheyWereLoadingTheVanBWasJustScreamingALot
#SheEitherDoesNotLikeBeingBreastfedOrIJustDoNotSeemToBeProducingEnoughAtTheMoment
#ProbablyBecauseIAmStressedWhichSheMightBeSensingTooWhichIsUpsettingHer
#LuckilyIHaveSomeMilkInTheFreezerWhichIHaveBeenDefrostingForEachFeed
#ThenTryingToPumpBeforeSheWakesUpAndGivingOneBottleOfThatAndOneOfFreezerMilk
#WithTheFeedsSheJustGetsVeryAgitatedQuiteQuicklyAndTheFeedsAreALotShorter
#ButThenSheDrinksAllTheDefrostedMilkViaABottle
#ThePictureIsFromWhenIWasPumpingAndDidNotRealiseThatTheTopOfThePumpWasNotOnProperly
#SoItJustLeakedOnMeAndTheFloor
#WhichIsNotGreatWhenYouAreTryingToGetAsMuchMilkTogetherAsPossible
#AfterTiagoLeftWithTheVanOurFriendWentOutToBuyLunchAndSomeBottlesOfFormula
#IWillTryThemIfTheMilkSituationDoesNotImproveAndICanNotProduceEnoughMilk
#IThinkBIsDefinitelyHavingASleepRegressionAsSheSuddenlySeemsToHaveNewSkills
#RollingOverToOneSideAndRollingOverFromBackToFrontOccasionally
#AndStickingOutHerBottomLipAndUsingHerTongueMore
#AndThisWeekSheHasBeenWorkingHerWayUpHerLegsAndIsNowGrabbingHerFeet
#IFeelBadAsHerPlaytimesHaveBeenABitRubbishTheLastFewDaysWithPackingAndMoving
#HopefullyThisWillBeFixedInACoupleOfDays
#IDoNotWantToThinkAboutUnpackingRightNow
#HerNapsHaveImprovedALittleBit
#INowSpendMoreTimeSettlingHerBeforeLeavingHerToNapLikeRubbingHerForeheadAndChest
#ThoughMyFingersAndThumbsAreSoDryFromPackingNowWhichIsNotGreat
#IThoughtIWouldGetSoMuchDoneTodayAndWeWouldHaveANiceLastWalkAroundLiverpool
#ButPackingUpTheVanTookALotLongerThanPlannedAndIOnlyManagedToMake4DanceVideosAndNowItIsGettingDarkSoNoWalkForUs
#ItIsWeirdThatTonightIsOurLastNightInLiverpoolButWeWillAlwaysHaveOurScouseBabyAndWeWillBeBackForAVisitOneDay

#ThisPhotoShowsLeakedMilkOnMyNewTrousersThatMyMumGotMeForMyBirthday

I’d already put a load of washing on, so they’ll have to stink of sour milk for longer. Great.

#WhatADay #TiagoIsOnTheWayBackFromDrivingAVanLoadOfStuffToBirmingham

He’s back now. He walked in to B screaming during a feed. We tried to order some food for collection nearby, but they were no longer taking orders. Great. Random bits and bobs for dinner it was.

#InTheEndAFriendHelpedUsEmptyTheFlatWhichAbsolutelySavedUs

SAVED US. THANK YOU SO MUCH D!

(We would probably still be loading the van now if he hadn’t come to help. Moving during a pandemic with a 4 month old is not fun for sure.)

#AsOfYesterdayBHasDecidedThatSheDoesNotLikeBeingBreastfed

Convenient I know.

It is true, I do love sarcasm.

#SoTodayWhileTheyWereLoadingTheVanBWasJustScreamingALot

Amazing.

#SheEitherDoesNotLikeBeingBreastfedOrIJustDoNotSeemToBeProducingEnoughAtTheMoment

I think I just am not producing enough for her right now.

#ProbablyBecauseIAmStressedWhichSheMightBeSensingTooWhichIsUpsettingHer

I think stress is definitely a big contributor to it, but also I think we haven’t been eating so well since we decided to move as we have been using up a lot of random food to lighten the moving load.

#LuckilyIHaveSomeMilkInTheFreezerWhichIHaveBeenDefrostingForEachFeed

I nearly got rid of some of it the other day as I thought it might just get ruined in the move. So glad I didn’t.

#ThenTryingToPumpBeforeSheWakesUpAndGivingOneBottleOfThatAndOneOfFreezerMilk

Well, this happened for one feed – the pumping before her waking up. The next two naps she woke up earlier than planned.

#WithTheFeedsSheJustGetsVeryAgitatedQuiteQuicklyAndTheFeedsAreALotShorter

I used to feed her for 30-40 minutes. Earlier I tried feeding her again via boob and she got annoyed after 9 minutes on both. However, she did sound like she was trying to win some speed drinking competition, so she is definitely emptying them.

Sorry (not sorry) if it’s too much information, but this is what boobs are for.

She finishes and cries though, so then I offer her more milk.

#ButThenSheDrinksAllTheDefrostedMilkViaABottle

Yeah she drinks the whole bottle, which is usually around 60ml.

When I pumped earlier I was producing about 60ml, so she must be getting similar during breastfeeds.

#ThePictureIsFromWhenIWasPumpingAndDidNotRealiseThatTheTopOfThePumpWasNotOnProperly

I am pretty sure that this is the first time this has happened. I have to hold the back on tight, so I thought it was that at first. I was so confused as to why it was leaking.

#SoItJustLeakedOnMeAndTheFloor

Good job we are cleaning the floor tomorrow.

Well, I wiped it earlier, but tomorrow we are going to clean the flat.

#WhichIsNotGreatWhenYouAreTryingToGetAsMuchMilkTogetherAsPossible

Yeah, this is annoying. Also when you pump and your bra just gets absolutely wet when it could have been going in the bottle instead.

#AfterTiagoLeftWithTheVanOurFriendWentOutToBuyLunchAndSomeBottlesOfFormula

Again – lifesaver. I was actually quite calm about the fact that I might not be producing much milk.

After her first feed of the day I did try pumping and nothing came out, so I figured she must have gotten everything.

B was having a nap and was due to feed when she woke up, so I wouldn’t have been able to get any food for a while. B’s pushchair went in the van, so I would have had to put her in her carrier – I was excited at the idea of going to a supermarket, but nah.

#IWillTryThemIfTheMilkSituationDoesNotImproveAndICanNotProduceEnoughMilk

Well, the dates aren’t very long on them, so we will be trying them soon.

I asked a friend which one she uses and she said she has some pre-mixed bottles that she is using up before she moves on to powder.

I didn’t fancy the idea of mixing up milk during the move, so we got 3 pre-mixed bottles to try.

#IThinkBIsDefinitelyHavingASleepRegressionAsSheSuddenlySeemsToHaveNewSkills

So many new skills.

#RollingOverToOneSideAndRollingOverFromBackToFrontOccasionally

She did roll over before from her front to back a while ago, but hasn’t done it for a while. She often gets her arm stuck while rolling over – I guess she will perfect it in time.

#AndStickingOutHerBottomLipAndUsingHerTongueMore

I think she sticks her bottom lip out from moving her tongue around. I’m not sure though. She is definitely working on her puppy dog face though – just in time for Christmas!

(I don’t think we will be getting her much for Xmas, as she doesn’t know it’s Christmas and she doesn’t need anything. Well, if she needs something then we will get it.)

#AndThisWeekSheHasBeenWorkingHerWayUpHerLegsAndIsNowGrabbingHerFeet

I did a yoga video tonight as I’m a bit sore from lifting the few things that I did. Part of the class was the happy baby pose and B has definitely nearly perfected it.

I’m sure I’ll be taking photos of myself imitating these new skills soon.

#IFeelBadAsHerPlaytimesHaveBeenABitRubbishTheLastFewDaysWithPackingAndMoving #HopefullyThisWillBeFixedInACoupleOfDays

Yeah I feel really bad about this, but this is what you get for trying to pack up a flat during a pandemic when no one can come round to watch her or help.

Obviously B doesn’t know what is going on, but thanks to her for just chilling in her cot and grabbing her feet, or chilling in her bouncer while we’ve packed around her.

#IDoNotWantToThinkAboutUnpackingRightNow

Ergh.

#HerNapsHaveImprovedALittleBit

Well, now I’ve said it let’s see how tomorrow is.

#INowSpendMoreTimeSettlingHerBeforeLeavingHerToNapLikeRubbingHerForeheadAndChest

It makes sense as it probably makes her feel more secure, and once she starts crying I think it probably stresses her out more and then it takes longer to calm her. Maybe?

#ThoughMyFingersAndThumbsAreSoDryFromPackingNowWhichIsNotGreat

I need to start moisturising my hands more again. All that packing and sanitising etc.

#IThoughtIWouldGetSoMuchDoneTodayAndWeWouldHaveANiceLastWalkAroundLiverpool

Well, at least we finally got to see Boaty McBoatface yesterday and the day before…

#ButPackingUpTheVanTookALotLongerThanPlannedAndIOnlyManagedToMake4DanceVideosAndNowItIsGettingDarkSoNoWalkForUs

Packing up the van took so long that we missed the drop-off time for it. Imagine if our friend hadn’t helped us? I hope that nothing happens to it while we have it overnight…

Tiago took the day off work as he thought the van place was open until 9, but when he got there he said it was open until 5. I guess it’s probably due to Covid…

#ItIsWeirdThatTonightIsOurLastNightInLiverpoolButWeWillAlwaysHaveOurScouseBabyAndWeWillBeBackForAVisitOneDay

It doesn’t feel like our last night. I’m sat writing this in the living room, whilst T is in the bedroom having a rest, and B is having a sleep in her cot.

There were some fireworks earlier – don’t think they were for us.

Yes, B will always B (ha) our Scouse baby, so we definitely want to show her the city when she is older and of course we want to visit our friends that we’ve made.

We moved to Liverpool wanting kids but not sure when we’d have kids. A month later after visiting Tiago’s brother, sister-in-law and niece we thought we’d start trying. It didn’t happen as quick as I thought it would. I felt lost and made a project called Ulterior Monologue to try to deal with it.

Then just as I was going to start a project that actually talked about wanting to be pregnant, I got pregnant and made a project about my pregnancy, and another about my morning sickness.

And now we are leaving Liverpool with a baby, and I’ll keep making a project about early motherhood for now.


Thanks for reading! If you’re enjoying my blog (and/or the work I make) please consider supporting me by ‘buying me a coffee’ on Ko-fi – thanks!