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Oh Me, Oh Mãe

32 (October 2020)

Me holding B on my birthday
32 (October 2020)
 
#WellItIsMyFirstBirthdayAsAMother
#ThoughIWasPregnantOnMyLastBirthdayButIDidNotKnowItForAnotherWeek
#IGuessItDependsIfYouCountPregnancyAsMotherhoodOrNot
#TheBigNewsIsThatWeHaveGivenNoticeOnOurFlatAndPlanToMoveToBirminghamASAP
#WeWillMoveInWithMyNanSoWeCanCareForHerAndBWillGetSomeExtraAttention
#TwoYearsAgoIHadABirthdaySlashLeavingLondonParty
#ThisYearWouldBeABirthdaySlashLeavingLiverpoolParty
#ButWeWillBeLuckyIfWeGetToSayGoodbyeToManyPeopleBeforeWeGo
#TheLiverpoolRegionIsUnderTier3RestrictionsNowWhichIsTheOnlyAreaInTheUKToHaveSuchStrictRulesAtTheMoment
#ThisMeansWeCanNoLongerGoSwimmingThisWeekend
#IJustCancelledOurSlotAsTheCentreIsClosedNowAndWeGotCreditAddedToOurAccount
#SoOneDayIfWeAreAbleToVisitLiverpoolItLooksLikeWeWillBeDoingASwimSession
#MovingIsDefinitelyForTheBest
#ItWillBeSuchALongWinterOtherwiseAndAtLeastWeCanSeeMyNanAndPossiblyOtherFamilyFromADistance
#IWillMissOurDailyWalkHereButItIsStartingToGetVeryColdAndWindy
#OurFlatIsColdWithWindBlowingThroughThePlugSockets
#IDoNotGetHowSuchNewBuildingsCanBeSoBadlyDesigned
#WeDecidedToLeaveLondonAndWereGoneWithin6Weeks
#ThisTimeItWillBeWithin5WeeksThoughIThinkItWillBeALotQuicker
#TheWeekendAfterNextIfWeCan
#WeArePayingRentForAMonthButThereIsNoPointJustFeelingStuckHere
#AndAtLeastItGivesUsSomeTimeToCleanUpAndThings
#WeWillProbablyJustCelebrateMyBirthdayByOrderingALotOfIndianFood
#ThoughNowIAmTryingToEatUpAllTheRandomFoodWeHaveSoWeHaveLessToMove
#WithMyCodingCourseIAmWorkingOnMyProjectNow
#IAmGoingToTreatMyselfByNotDoingAnyCodingTodayThough
#IAmFeelingALotBetterMentallyThoughIThinkABigPartOfItIsBeingDistractedByTheMove
#IHaveNotHeardFromAHealthVisitorYetThoughIThinkIMightHaveMissedACallFromThemTheOtherDay
#IGuessAYearAgoIDidNotThinkIWouldBeSpendingMy32ndBirthdayLivingThroughAPandemicWithA4MonthOldWhilstDoingACodingCourseAndPlanningAMoveToBirmingham
#ButIGuessIWasNotThinkingMuchBeyondWantingToBePregnantAndNotBeingSureIfIWasAbleToBeOrNot

I’m not going to give the date of my birthday, though it’s probably easy to work out. I don’t know why – I’m weirdly security conscious about some things.

I just went to write what date I wrote this on, like I do for all of my blog posts; I am writing this on my birthday <with updates on 2nd November>.

<I always forget to write about the actual photo – it’s just me in my PJs holding my baby. I’m usually alone in my birthday portraits, but not this year!>

#WellItIsMyFirstBirthdayAsAMother

It feels odd writing that.

#ThoughIWasPregnantOnMyLastBirthdayButIDidNotKnowItForAnotherWeek

I had wanted to have a kid by the time I was 30, but I had to make do with being pregnant at 30. In the end it didn’t matter anyways and I’m glad B came when she did.

#IGuessItDependsIfYouCountPregnancyAsMotherhoodOrNot

<When I wrote this I don’t think I did, but pregnancy was so weird for me and I spent most of it in disbelief. I think I am just about getting used to the fact that I am a mother now.>

#TheBigNewsIsThatWeHaveGivenNoticeOnOurFlatAndPlanToMoveToBirminghamASAP

We gave notice the day after I wrote about considering it.

<And for the millionth time – we’ve moved already.>

#WeWillMoveInWithMyNanSoWeCanCareForHerAndBWillGetSomeExtraAttention

She broke her wrist in a fall recently and spent a week in hospital. It seems like the best thing to do for all of us – also who knows when we will actually be able to sit in her house again if we don’t go and live with her?

<It’s nice to know that she is okay and to see her everyday.>

#TwoYearsAgoIHadABirthdaySlashLeavingLondonParty #ThisYearWouldBeABirthdaySlashLeavingLiverpoolParty

I seem mostly move around this time of year.

Fact: I moved to London on Halloween 2010.

#ButWeWillBeLuckyIfWeGetToSayGoodbyeToManyPeopleBeforeWeGo

It’s so weird. I’ll miss people, but I’m not really supposed to see them at the moment anyways – meeting outdoors is ‘not recommended’.

#TheLiverpoolRegionIsUnderTier3RestrictionsNowWhichIsTheOnlyAreaInTheUKToHaveSuchStrictRulesAtTheMoment

I think most people in the UK know this, but I guess I am writing some of this for the future when hopefully all of this will be a distant memory.

<Well, they’re not alone in tier 3 anymore but England has another lockdown in a few days time.>

#ThisMeansWeCanNoLongerGoSwimmingThisWeekend #IJustCancelledOurSlotAsTheCentreIsClosedNowAndWeGotCreditAddedToOurAccount

Yeah the slot I called 40 times for!

<They called after a week and asked if we wanted to reschedule it, but we were moving that day.>

#SoOneDayIfWeAreAbleToVisitLiverpoolItLooksLikeWeWillBeDoingASwimSession

Great!

#MovingIsDefinitelyForTheBest #ItWillBeSuchALongWinterOtherwiseAndAtLeastWeCanSeeMyNanAndPossiblyOtherFamilyFromADistance

I am a little bit like ‘maybe I don’t want to move’, but I know give it another month and I will be super ready to go, so it’s better to go now.

I’ll mainly miss having space to make my work to be fair. I’ll just have to find a new way to work – and maybe not just have a white wall as a background all the time.

<We have barely unpacked anything and I am desperate to make some kind of studio space – well, we won’t be able to do much else during lockdown. I just have to be patient, as it’s slow work with a baby…>

#IWillMissOurDailyWalkHereButItIsStartingToGetVeryColdAndWindy

B won’t know the difference, and our walk is so exposed that it’ll be nice to not be nearly blown over a lot.

#OurFlatIsColdWithWindBlowingThroughThePlugSockets #IDoNotGetHowSuchNewBuildingsCanBeSoBadlyDesigned

The wind also blows through the gaps in the window, so I’ll be glad to not sleep in a freezing cold room. The radiators just blow the heat up the walls and barely heat the rooms. Fun times.

#WeDecidedToLeaveLondonAndWereGoneWithin6Weeks #ThisTimeItWillBeWithin5WeeksThoughIThinkItWillBeALotQuicker #TheWeekendAfterNextIfWeCan

So by the time I post this we should be in Birmingham.

<Yep, we are.>

#WeArePayingRentForAMonthButThereIsNoPointJustFeelingStuckHere

Yeah, there’s no point just being here waiting.

#AndAtLeastItGivesUsSomeTimeToCleanUpAndThings

We just got an email that said they want it ‘cleaned to a professional standard’. Well, when we left London we cleaned before the cleaners came in (which was something crazy like £100 that we paid when we moved in). We didn’t want the cleaners to think we were super sloppy, but we left a couple of things for them to clean and they didn’t do it – so I think we clean to a good standard.

#WeWillProbablyJustCelebrateMyBirthdayByOrderingALotOfIndianFood

Tiago has a work meeting after work, so we’ll be eating late but it’ll be nice.

This morning B woke up at 6, so I fed her, then B played with her and put her down for her nap so I pretty much got to sleep to 9am when I had to feed her again.

All I want for my birthday is sleep, sleep and sleep…

<She is waking up more at night at the moment, but we did have indian food which was very nice!>

#ThoughNowIAmTryingToEatUpAllTheRandomFoodWeHaveSoWeHaveLessToMove

You know when you just start eating random food that you haven’t wanted to eat?

#WithMyCodingCourseIAmWorkingOnMyProjectNow #IAmGoingToTreatMyselfByNotDoingAnyCodingTodayThough

I’ve been quite good at doing a bit every night. I feel like I am procrastinating a bit with it now as I know it is hard work, but I know I can do it. I just need to get on with it. I’ve set up the file system, I just need to do the rest of it now…

<I finished it in the end and I have a new course to start, but I’m leaving it for now.>

#IAmFeelingALotBetterMentallyThoughIThinkABigPartOfItIsBeingDistractedByTheMove

I wrote move as mood on accident. Whoops.

The move is definitely a massive distraction. Now I feel a bit overwhelmed but for different reasons…

#IHaveNotHeardFromAHealthVisitorYetThoughIThinkIMightHaveMissedACallFromThemTheOtherDay

They never left an answerphone message and haven’t called back since, so I’m not sure.

<They call a few days ago in the end, but now I am expecting a call from my new health visitor who needs to come visit us as we are new to the area.>

I’m not looking forward to having to register for things like the doctors, and changing all my postal addresses.

#IGuessAYearAgoIDidNotThinkIWouldBeSpendingMy32ndBirthdayLivingThroughAPandemicWithA4MonthOldWhilstDoingACodingCourseAndPlanningAMoveToBirmingham #ButIGuessIWasNotThinkingMuchBeyondWantingToBePregnantAndNotBeingSureIfIWasAbleToBeOrNot

What would I have imagined for myself? I would have hoped that I was pregnant or had a baby, but yeah I really thought that pregnancy and motherhood was something that happened to other people and not me.

But here we are!


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