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Oh Me, Oh Mãe

My First Pushchair Injury (18th August 2020)

My First Pushchair Injury (18th August 2020)
 
#INeverKnowWhatToCallBsVehicle
#TheWebsiteIBoughtItFromCallsItAStrollerButIThoughtThatWasTheSameAsAPushchair
#JustHadAResearch
#APramIsForNewborns
#APushchairIsForWhenTheyAreABitOlderAndCanSitUp
#AStrollerIsSuitableForToddlersAndYoungChildren
#ABuggyCanMeanAPushchairOrStroller
#WellItIsAStrollerWithABassinetOnItRightNow
#IAmKeepingTheTitleAsPushchairAsStrollerSoundsLikeIAmStrollingAbout
#WhichIWasToBeFairButNotWhenIHurtMyselfOnIt
#WeWentToMeetSomePeopleFromOurNCTGroup
#WeHadOurCourseOnlineNearly4MonthsAgoAndWeTalkEverydayInTheMumsWhatsAppGroup
#ThereAre8BabiesIncludingB
#5OfThemWereThereAndItWasTheFirstTimeIHadMetTwoOfThem
#ItIsFunnyAsIFeelLikeIHaveMetEveryoneInRealLifeButIAmStillYetToMeetThreeOfThem
#ThereIsAbout7WeeksBetweenTheOldestAndTheYoungestBaby
#WeMetInAParkAndJustStoodAboutChattingBabiesAndTV
#ForTheRecordWeAreMainlyWatchingSellingSunsetAndThisIsUs
#IBreastfedInPublicForTheSecondAndThirdTimeYesterdayAndTodaySoThatIsGood
#TheGroupHasBeenGreatAsItIsNiceToKnowThatOtherPeopleAreGoingThroughTheSameThing
#EspeciallyWithBeingPregnantGivingBirthAndHavingANewbornInAPandemic
#EveryoneLeftAndTBAndMeWentForABitMoreOfAWalk
#IThinkMyKneeHurtsFromWalkingOnSoMuchCobbledFloor
#ItWasTheFirstTimeTakingTheStrollerInTheCar
#SoWeHaveNotPutItUpAndDownMuch
#IWentToPutItDownAndICouldSeePeopleBehindWalkingCloseBySoIFeltUnderPressure
#ItWouldNotSeemToFoldSoIPushedItABitMore
#AndThenSuddenlyItWentAndIGuessItCaughtMyFinger
#IHaveNotChosenTheImageYetButIThinkIWillGoForOneWhereMyFingerLooksABitLikeASnake
#OfCourseAsSoonAsIHurtMyFingerIThoughtIWillPhotographThisLaterAndSoIDid

 

#INeverKnowWhatToCallBsVehicle
#TheWebsiteIBoughtItFromCallsItAStrollerButIThoughtThatWasTheSameAsAPushchair
#JustHadAResearch
#APramIsForNewborns
#APushchairIsForWhenTheyAreABitOlderAndCanSitUp
#AStrollerIsSuitableForToddlersAndYoungChildren
#ABuggyCanMeanAPushchairOrStroller
#WellItIsAStrollerWithABassinetOnItRightNow

I think it is probably actually a ‘2-in-1’ system or something, but who really cares?

I did briefly work in a baby shop many years ago, but obviously I never learned the difference then. It’s a bit weird thinking about it now as back then I don’t think I had that much interest in babies or thought I would end up having one of my own…

(I think from my early 20s or before I knew I wanted kids, but that it would not happen anytime soon.)

#IAmKeepingTheTitleAsPushchairAsStrollerSoundsLikeIAmStrollingAbout
#WhichIWasToBeFairButNotWhenIHurtMyselfOnIt

And people know what a pushchair is. I do stroll about with it a lot, but I should probably do it more…

#WeWentToMeetSomePeopleFromOurNCTGroup
#WeHadOurCourseOnlineNearly4MonthsAgoAndWeTalkEverydayInTheMumsWhatsAppGroup
#ThereAre8BabiesIncludingB
#5OfThemWereThereAndItWasTheFirstTimeIHadMetTwoOfThem
#ItIsFunnyAsIFeelLikeIHaveMetEveryoneInRealLifeButIAmStillYetToMeetThreeOfThem

We signed up to the NCT group as we had no idea about babies, but also because we wanted to meet more expectant parents in Liverpool. We knew a handful of people when we moved here at the end of 2018, and though we have made new friends we still didn’t know that many people. Some reviews did say that it was an expensive way to buy friends, but we thought we’d give it a go.

We ended up ‘meeting’ over Zoom due to lockdown and though at first I found it awkward, I eventually got over it. I was tired for weeks after the course as I think the stress of being on video to strangers stressed me out. That may sound weird as I’m in a lot of my work, but being a student on a course via webcam is a completely different thing.

I’ve since met a couple more, so there’s only one mother and baby that B and I haven’t met yet.

#ThereIsAbout7WeeksBetweenTheOldestAndTheYoungestBaby

B was born 4th, but she is not even a week younger than the oldest. The order would have been different if she hadn’t been born more than 2 weeks before her due date…

#WeMetInAParkAndJustStoodAboutChattingBabiesAndTV
#ForTheRecordWeAreMainlyWatchingSellingSunsetAndThisIsUs

I feel like I should be watching more TV and films with B, but instead I chose to write a blog and start a coding course…

(Yesterday we did watch Farmageddon though and it was very good. I say we, but B slept on my chest through all of it after feeding and T was doing other things.)

#IBreastfedInPublicForTheSecondAndThirdTimeYesterdayAndTodaySoThatIsGood

We had lunch with one of the Mums and we were both breastfeeding, then at the park another Mum was feeding. Feeding together is a good way to build confidence.

#TheGroupHasBeenGreatAsItIsNiceToKnowThatOtherPeopleAreGoingThroughTheSameThing
#EspeciallyWithBeingPregnantGivingBirthAndHavingANewbornInAPandemic

I know other people who have kids, but I think having been pregnant and had a baby in a pandemic is a different experience.

#EveryoneLeftAndTBAndMeWentForABitMoreOfAWalk
#IThinkMyKneeHurtsFromWalkingOnSoMuchCobbledFloor

We hadn’t been to that park before and not much walking had taken place, so we wanted to explore. My knee was playing up for a little bit.

#ItWasTheFirstTimeTakingTheStrollerInTheCar
#SoWeHaveNotPutItUpAndDownMuch
#IWentToPutItDownAndICouldSeePeopleBehindWalkingCloseBySoIFeltUnderPressure
#ItWouldNotSeemToFoldSoIPushedItABitMore
#AndThenSuddenlyItWentAndIGuessItCaughtMyFinger

I have since figured out where I was going wrong – there was a bit that you can push up or down that makes it easier. I did last read the instructions back in April, which is unusual for me as I just prefer to figure things out for myself unless I get really stuck.

#IHaveNotChosenTheImageYetButIThinkIWillGoForOneWhereMyFingerLooksABitLikeASnake

The other images were a bit boring. Maybe this one is too, but I do like that it looks a bit like an animal – I love finding faces in things.

Apparently it’s called pareidolia.

#OfCourseAsSoonAsIHurtMyFingerIThoughtIWillPhotographThisLaterAndSoIDid

Perhaps it’s not a normal way to think, but it seems to be how I operate these days. I guess it’s good though as otherwise I wouldn’t have a lot of images, though I don’t like being clumsy at times.

I am enjoying that I am not forcing pictures for this project though – I’m not doing random shoots and hoping something works. I usually have an idea in mind these days, which is a quicker way to work, and that is great – especially when you have a baby.


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Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Second Family Portrait Session (16th August 2020)

I’ve managed to get a few posts of ahead of myself for now as I want to catch up soon and then write other posts that aren’t necessarily related to my project. I write most of it then add in other more recent things when I go to hit ‘publish’.

I’ve had a go with playing with a picture that obscures B’s face, but let’s see if I like it when I come to post this.

(I think it will do for now, but perhaps I will revisit the pictures that obscure B’s face at a later date and do something else with them – or maybe not.)

Tiago, B and me lying on the sofa
Second Family Portrait Session (16th August 2020)
 
#IHaveWantedToDoAnotherFamilyPortraitSessionSinceNotLongAfterWeDidTheFirstOne
#AndThatWasOnThe28thOfJune
#ItSeemsEasierToDoThingsIndividuallyThanAllTogether
#BSleptThroughTheWholeShootAndHasJustWokeUpNow
#SheDidALoudCryLikeSheDoesWhenSheIsDreamingInHerSleepButThisTimeItWokeHerUp
#WeUsuallyWakeHerUpToFeedHerIfItHasBeenAWhile
#ButTheOtherDayAndTodayItWasImpossibleToWakeHerToFeedHer
#AFriendCalledTodayAsHerBabyHadBeenAsleepAllDayAndSheWasConcerned
#WhichMadeMeFeelBetterAsBWasDoingTheSameThing
#TheyBothWokeUpAfterAWhileAndWereFine
#AHealthVisitorCameACoupleOfDaysAgo
#BHasPutOnMoreThanHalfOfHerBirthWeightAndHadNoConcerns
#SheSaidToRingOurGPForAPrescriptionForSomeCradleCapShampoo
#IRangAndTheDoctorHadNeverHeardOfTheOneSheRecommended
#ButWeGotItSoThatWasFine
#TheHealthVisitorAskedUsIfThereWasAnyDomesticViolenceInOurHome
#ItSeemsAnOddThingToSayOutLoudToBothOfUs
#SurelyItIsSomethingYouAskIndividuallyOrSomethingButIGuessItWouldBeDifficultAndIGuessSheHadNoConcerns
#SheWouldHaveUsuallyVisitedUsBeforeButItWasDelayedDueToCovid
#SheIsOnlyAllowedToVisitTwoHouseholdsADayWhereasBeforeSheWouldVisitThreeOrFour
#IRushedToThePharmacyLaterOnAsIWasWorriedTheyWouldCloseBeforeIGotThereButTheyHadExtendedTheirOpeningHoursSinceLastTime
#AMemberOfStaffPeeredInsideHerBassinet
#SheSaidBsEyeLookedSwollenAndIWasLikeYeahIKnowIAmMassagingItDailyAndItIsCommon
#SheSaidYeahItIsCommonAndThatBothHerKidsHadItAndIRelaxed
#TheOtherDayAManWasHoldingAToddlerAndSheSaidBaby
#SoIOpenedUpTheBassinetCoverSoTheyCouldSeeHerFromADistance
#ButTheGuyStoodSoCloseToMeThatIDidNotFeelAbleToTalk
#HeProbablyThoughtIWasReallyRudeButItFreakedMeOut
#IDidNotWantAFamilyPictureInOurUnderwearButItIsSoHotAndThatWasWhatWeWereWearing
#IWasNotPlanningToUseALightButItWasTooDarkToNotUseOne
 

#IHaveWantedToDoAnotherFamilyPortraitSessionSinceNotLongAfterWeDidTheFirstOne
#AndThatWasOnThe28thOfJune

Let’s see when we manage to do another one…

#ItSeemsEasierToDoThingsIndividuallyThanAllTogether

Well it’s easier for me to photograph myself when T is looking after B, but I often feel bad for making T be in my photos as I know it’s not his most favourite thing.

Lately I’ve been taking more pictures on my phone or quickly doing a shoot during the day when B is asleep and T is working.

#BSleptThroughTheWholeShootAndHasJustWokeUpNow (and) #IWasNotPlanningToUseALightButItWasTooDarkToNotUseOne

I felt bad using the light, but B didn’t seem to care at all about it. I tried not to take too many pictures and because her eyes were closed I guess it helped. If she had been awake I would have made her look away from the light.

#SheDidALoudCryLikeSheDoesWhenSheIsDreamingInHerSleepButThisTimeItWokeHerUp

I would love to know what she dreams about. When she was first born I used to joke that it was two milky boobs running away from her and she was trying to catch them…

She does cry in her sleep a bit. It’s weird/funny/cute when you check on her as you think she is awake and upset as she lets out a cry, but she is smiling in her sleep.

#WeUsuallyWakeHerUpToFeedHerIfItHasBeenAWhile

We try to follow a schedule where you feed her every 3 hours until the night. We’ve been following those schedules since she was born for feeding, but failing on the napping side. However this week I suddenly decided to work on making her take naps more. Next week I need to work on me taking naps, while she naps!

#ButTheOtherDayAndTodayItWasImpossibleToWakeHerToFeedHer
#AFriendCalledTodayAsHerBabyHadBeenAsleepAllDayAndSheWasConcerned
#WhichMadeMeFeelBetterAsBWasDoingTheSameThing
#TheyBothWokeUpAfterAWhileAndWereFine

I laughed in relief when she said she couldn’t wake her baby up. I’m not sure if it was the weather or what…

#AHealthVisitorCameACoupleOfDaysAgo
#BHasPutOnMoreThanHalfOfHerBirthWeightAndHadNoConcerns

I wasn’t worried about her weight as she is definitely growing and getting heavier. Apparently you can get your babies weighed in children centres but they’ve been closed due to Covid. I didn’t know this, someone told me. I feel like I don’t know much about how having a baby should be in a non-Covid time, which is probably for the best as I don’t feel like we’re missing out on things really. I guess I probably would have taken her to an exhibition, but I’ve only taken her to see work outside so far.

I think the local children’s centre called yesterday. They got my details and asked if I wanted to sign B up for future classes. I said yes, but they don’t know when they’ll be able to run again and it will be invite only. I think I am starting to realise what B is missing out on now, but luckily she is too young to know and we are making do.

#SheSaidToRingOurGPForAPrescriptionForSomeCradleCapShampoo
#IRangAndTheDoctorHadNeverHeardOfTheOneSheRecommended
#ButWeGotItSoThatWasFine

She said she usually prescribed a cream over shampoo, but said the health visitor must know that it’s good. Eventually she found it and sent the prescription through to the pharmacy.

#IRushedToThePharmacyLaterOnAsIWasWorriedTheyWouldCloseBeforeIGotThereButTheyHadExtendedTheirOpeningHoursSinceLastTime
#AMemberOfStaffPeeredInsideHerBassinet
#SheSaidBsEyeLookedSwollenAndIWasLikeYeahIKnowIAmMassagingItDailyAndItIsCommon
#SheSaidYeahItIsCommonAndThatBothHerKidsHadItAndIRelaxed

I was feeling a little judged, but was relieved when she said her kids had the same thing.

#TheOtherDayAManWasHoldingAToddlerAndSheSaidBaby
#SoIOpenedUpTheBassinetCoverSoTheyCouldSeeHerFromADistance
#ButTheGuyStoodSoCloseToMeThatIDidNotFeelAbleToTalk
#HeProbablyThoughtIWasReallyRudeButItFreakedMeOut

I still find it odd when strangers get so close. Maybe they don’t think I present much of a risk as I have a baby so they know I’m being cautious, but I don’t know about them.

#IDidNotWantAFamilyPictureInOurUnderwearButItIsSoHotAndThatWasWhatWeWereWearing

I’ve said this before and I’ll probably say this a 100 times, but I want this project to be a true reflection of our family life. Hanging out in our underwear has been a big part of it so far, though B does have a lighter baby grow on here. The general rule is babies should have one extra layer than you, but sometimes it is just nappy weather for them.

I bought the blanket at the end of my trip to India in 2017 for a commission. It had just been sat in a bag since then until after B was born and I started to nest.

I have a habit of buying nice things and being too scared to use them, but with the pandemic my mentality has changed a bit, and I feel like I should enjoy things as you never know what is around the corner.


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Oh Me, Oh Mãe

This Is Supposed To Be A Picture Of My Cannula Mark (13th August 2020)

I was just going to call the photo ‘Cannula’, but that was a bit dull. This title is perhaps dull too – it should probably have been called ‘Find The Cannula Mark’. Can you?

This Is Supposed To Be A Picture Of My Cannula Mark (13th August 2020)
 
#ThisIsTheShootIHadInMindButIEndedUpTakingPicturesOfMeInMyWhiteBraWithMyBreastPadsShowing
#IAmUsingUpMyThrowAwayOnesAsIDoNotLikeMyWashableOnesAndNeedToBuySomeOtherOnes
#IWasSupposedToSayAllThisOnThatPictureButOhWell
#Cannula
#IHadToCheckTheSpellingAsIWasNotSure
#IThoughtItWasCanulaOrCandulaOrCanelaOrSomething
#IKeptCallingItACatheterAtOnePoint
#AFactIsThatCanelaIsPortugueseForCinnamon
#AnywaysIHadACannulaPutInMyWristWhilstInTheDeliverySuiteBeforeIStartedToPush
#IGuessInCaseTheyWantedToAdministerDrugsQuicklyForWhateverReason
#ItEndedUpStayingThereForQuiteAWhile
#MaybeUntilTheFourthDayOfHospital
#ItGotReallyAnnoyingAndIKeptKnockingIt
#ThereWasABigScabButItCameOffAndNowThereIsAMark
#ICalledItAScarBeforeAndMaybeItIsOrMaybeItIsNot
#TheReasonWhyIDecidedToPhotographItIsItHasBeenHotLatelyAndItIsStartingToItch
#MaybeThisMeansItIsHealingButMaybeItMeansItCaughtTheSunABit
#ItIsNotThatVisibleInThePhotoThoughIGuess
#WellItIsTheOnlyMarkOnMyWrist
#OtherVisibleMarksOnMyHandAndWristsAreMolesWithABirthmarkAlsoCreepingIntoFrame
#BDoesNotSeemToHaveAnyBirthmarks
#IHaveAlwaysLovedHandPhotosSoIGuessThisFitsWithMyLove
#AllThePicturesFromTheShootLookVerySimilar
#ThereWereMoreThanNecessaryToGoThroughButTheyWereEasyToDeleteAsMyHandWasInTheWrongPositionInMostOfThem
#NotCentralEnoughOrTooFarDownOrTooHighUp
#ThisIsTheProblemWithPhotographingYourselfByYourself
#ThoughIAmSureALotOfOtherSelfPortraiturePeopleAreProsWithItAll
#IAlsoHadNotPhotographedThisCannulaMarkWhichIsWhyIWantedToPhotographIt
#MaybeItWillGoSoonOrMaybeItWillHangAround
#INeedToHaveALittleNapBeforeBWakesUp
 

#ThisIsTheShootIHadInMindButIEndedUpTakingPicturesOfMeInMyWhiteBraWithMyBreastPadsShowing

See my previous post.

#IAmUsingUpMyThrowAwayOnesAsIDoNotLikeMyWashableOnesAndNeedToBuySomeOtherOnes

I have since bought some other ones. We rarely tumble-dry our clothes, but reading reviews of other breast pads they said that they went bad as they just air dry them. That solves the mystery of why they started to smell not so great…

Pregnancy is all about the bump, and if you breastfeed then early motherhood is all about the boobs…

#Cannula
#IHadToCheckTheSpellingAsIWasNotSure
#IThoughtItWasCanulaOrCandulaOrCanelaOrSomething
#IKeptCallingItACatheterAtOnePoint

It’s called a cannula, I know that now.

#AFactIsThatCanelaIsPortugueseForCinnamon

I always love when my hashtags present an opportunity for a Portuguese lesson.

#AnywaysIHadACannulaPutInMyWristWhilstInTheDeliverySuiteBeforeIStartedToPush
#IGuessInCaseTheyWantedToAdministerDrugsQuicklyForWhateverReason

I’m sure it’s protocol, but as they were worried that B’s head would get stuck as she was delivered breach they might have thought that it would need to be used. It didn’t.

#ItEndedUpStayingThereForQuiteAWhile
#MaybeUntilTheFourthDayOfHospital
#ItGotReallyAnnoyingAndIKeptKnockingIt

I asked once if I could have it taken out, but they said no as it might still need to be used. It didn’t.

#ThereWasABigScabButItCameOffAndNowThereIsAMark
#ICalledItAScarBeforeAndMaybeItIsOrMaybeItIsNot

I’m in my 30s and I should know what the definition of a scar is. I don’t want to lie about whether things are a mark or a scar! I checked the definition and it says that it’s a mark that is left after an injury has healed. So I guess a scar or a mark works. Yes, I do need a nap. Maybe it will fade away though.

#TheReasonWhyIDecidedToPhotographItIsItHasBeenHotLatelyAndItIsStartingToItch
#MaybeThisMeansItIsHealingButMaybeItMeansItCaughtTheSunABit

I did think about photographing it before, but it took me a while to get round to it. It itched for a couple of days then stopped. Delightful.

#ItIsNotThatVisibleInThePhotoThoughIGuess
#WellItIsTheOnlyMarkOnMyWrist

I kind of like it in a weird way. It’s a reminder of that strange time where I ended up in hospital for 4 nights after thinking I’d have a homebirth or at least a waterbirth. Nope.

#OtherVisibleMarksOnMyHandAndWristsAreMolesWithABirthmarkAlsoCreepingIntoFrame
#BDoesNotSeemToHaveAnyBirthmarks

I originally wrote that I was a little sad that she doesn’t have one, but then I thought that maybe they are caused by painful/not nice things. I don’t know. I did research a bit, but my brain is too tired right now. I have at least 3 birthmarks I think. I don’t think about them much, but I do get reminded of them in photos from time to time.

I’ve been asked at appointments a few times if she has birthmarks. Early on I felt like I hadn’t really looked at her body enough to know, which then I thought maybe I should have. I find it weird when I see her back with no clothes on – that sounds odd.

The hashtags also fail to mention the heat blisters that you can see on my fingers. Fun times.

#IHaveAlwaysLovedHandPhotosSoIGuessThisFitsWithMyLove

I love posing hands in photographs; they can really change the look of an image. I made a project in Watford where the poses are all about the hands.

#AllThePicturesFromTheShootLookVerySimilar
#ThereWereMoreThanNecessaryToGoThroughButTheyWereEasyToDeleteAsMyHandWasInTheWrongPositionInMostOfThem
#NotCentralEnoughOrTooFarDownOrTooHighUp

I had some trouble choosing between the few that were in a better position.

#ThisIsTheProblemWithPhotographingYourselfByYourself
#ThoughIAmSureALotOfOtherSelfPortraiturePeopleAreProsWithItAll

I’m sure some people get quite into the positioning and focus element of it all, but I just do a lot of trial and error.

#IAlsoHadNotPhotographedThisCannulaMarkWhichIsWhyIWantedToPhotographIt
#MaybeItWillGoSoonOrMaybeItWillHangAround

Oh yeah I said this earlier on. I don’t have any tattoos, but I thought about getting something around it. I won’t.

#INeedToHaveALittleNapBeforeBWakesUp

I love how I put this on the end. Did I have a nap? No. Would I like one now? Yes.

Today I’ve been working on noticing B’s sleepy cues more. I only realised yesterday (via this instagram post) that when her eyebrows go pink/red, it means she is tired. I thought it was a skin problem or something… I’ve been trying to get her to have a nap every 60-90 minutes today and I’m finishing this post as she is in her cot next to me drifting off to napland. Or so it appears. Fingers crossed!


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I Don’t Like Wearing White (13th August 2020)

There are some photos from the shoot where I actually think I look alright, but of course I had to weird it up and then choose one of those…

I Don’t Like Wearing White (13th August 2020)
 
#WellThisWasNotWhatIHadInMindForMyShoot
#IPlannedToPhotographMyCannulaScar
#ButITookATestShotAndGotMoreOfMyselfInThanIWanted
#AndIQuiteLikedHowItLooked
#MyWhiteNursingBraAgainstTheWhiteWallAndAll
#IDidNotPlanToBuyWhiteBras
#IHaveACoupleInBlackAndIWantedAMoreButTheyHadSoldOut
#TheyAreComfortableSoIJustThoughtScrewItAndBoughtThemAndThoughtMaybeIWillDyeThem
#IDoNotLikeWearingWhiteAsIAmQuiteMessy
#IDidNotEvenGetMarriedInWhite
#IDoNotWearWhiteVeryMuch
#SoGettingBabyClothesInWhiteWasABitScary
#ThoughAtTheMomentStainsAreComingOutQuiteEasilyButIHearThatIsNotTheCaseWhenWeaningStarts
#IGuessThisIsAlsoAPortraitOfMeAsTheMotherOfATwoMonthOld
#TimeFliesBySoQuickly
#ItIsSuperHotAtTheMomentHenceWhyIWasSatInMyUnderwearForTheTestShotThatLedToThisImage
#WeHaveSomeOfThoseMakeYourOwnIceLollyTubes
#ThereAreACoupleWhichHaveBreastMilkInAsWeThoughtItWouldBeASmartWayToFreezeItAsTheTubesAreReusable
#AndIHadMadeSomeCoconutWaterOnesAsWellAsSomeAppleJuiceAndOrangeAndGrapefruitJuiceOnes
#HoweverASmartThingToDoWouldHaveBeenToPutLabelsOnThem
#AsEarlierIThinkIHadSomeBreastMilkThinkingItMightBeCoconutWater
#ThoughTheBreastMilkTastedBetterThanTheCoconutWater
#IGuessItIsWeirdToBeWeirdedOutByDrinkingMyOwnMilkWhenMyBabyDrinksItAndItIsHomemade
#ToBeFairIFindItMoreFunnyThanAnythingElse
#AndIHaveHadABitOfMyMilkBefore
#WhenIAmLeakingAndItSeemsLikeLickingItOffMyFingerIsAQuickWayToGetRidOfIt
#ItTastesQuiteSweet
#TheseHashtagsEndedUpGoingSomewhereThatIDidNotThinkTheyWouldGo
#IThinkAnyoneWhoSaysTheyHaveNotTriedTheirOwnBreastmilkIsProbablyLyingAnyways
#BSeemsToLikeItSoItCanNotBeTooBad

#WellThisWasNotWhatIHadInMindForMyShoot
#IPlannedToPhotographMyCannulaScar
#ButITookATestShotAndGotMoreOfMyselfInThanIWanted
#AndIQuiteLikedHowItLooked

I probably have too many pictures of myself where I do this one arm over the head thing, but here you go. This wasn’t the test shot – the shoot developed into this. I don’t think it’s the first time I’ve done the arm over and pulled my cheek, but I think it might be the first time one has made it into a project.

I love creating more work for myself – more hashtags, editing and blog posts.

#MyWhiteNursingBraAgainstTheWhiteWallAndAll
#IDidNotPlanToBuyWhiteBras
#IHaveACoupleInBlackAndIWantedAMoreButTheyHadSoldOut
#TheyAreComfortableSoIJustThoughtScrewItAndBoughtThemAndThoughtMaybeIWillDyeThem

It looks like it was a good job that I bought them as I was going to link to the product page, but they don’t seem to sell them anymore.

I only wear the white ones when the black ones are in the wash/drying. At some point I might dye them navy so they go with the rest of my clothes. I have other ones where you unclip them to feed, but they’re a bit more faffy. With these ones you can just pull the material to the side to feed.

You can quite clearly see my breast pads too…

#IDoNotLikeWearingWhiteAsIAmQuiteMessy
#IDidNotEvenGetMarriedInWhite
#IDoNotWearWhiteVeryMuch

I got married in blue, but you probably could have guessed that. The dress I am wearing now has a tomato stain on it…

#SoGettingBabyClothesInWhiteWasABitScary
#ThoughAtTheMomentStainsAreComingOutQuiteEasilyButIHearThatIsNotTheCaseWhenWeaningStarts

I’ve changed in many ways since having a baby. One new thing for me is I now use fabric softener and I have stain remover. I do also have something for bleaching, but I haven’t used that yet.

#IGuessThisIsAlsoAPortraitOfMeAsTheMotherOfATwoMonthOld
#TimeFliesBySoQuickly

I can’t believe that she is already over 2 months old. I want her to grow up, but I also don’t want her too at the same time (I think I’ve posted about this before).

Today we put her in a door bouncer for the first time as her neck is strong enough and I remembered that our friends lent us one.

#ItIsSuperHotAtTheMomentHenceWhyIWasSatInMyUnderwearForTheTestShotThatLedToThisImage

I’ve said before with this project that I don’t want to change how I am dressed for photoshoots, but I also thought it didn’t matter as I was just planning to show my arm.

#WeHaveSomeOfThoseMakeYourOwnIceLollyTubes
#ThereAreACoupleWhichHaveBreastMilkInAsWeThoughtItWouldBeASmartWayToFreezeItAsTheTubesAreReusable
#AndIHadMadeSomeCoconutWaterOnesAsWellAsSomeAppleJuiceAndOrangeAndGrapefruitJuiceOnes
#HoweverASmartThingToDoWouldHaveBeenToPutLabelsOnThem
#AsEarlierIThinkIHadSomeBreastMilkThinkingItMightBeCoconutWater
#ThoughTheBreastMilkTastedBetterThanTheCoconutWater

I’ve been calling it ice lolly roulette. You are meant to put labels on them as it should be used up within 6 months, but she’s not 6 months yet so I know they’re fine. I actually might try to find one and defrost it for later.

#IGuessItIsWeirdToBeWeirdedOutByDrinkingMyOwnMilkWhenMyBabyDrinksItAndItIsHomemade
#ToBeFairIFindItMoreFunnyThanAnythingElse
#AndIHaveHadABitOfMyMilkBefore
#WhenIAmLeakingAndItSeemsLikeLickingItOffMyFingerIsAQuickWayToGetRidOfIt
#ItTastesQuiteSweet
#TheseHashtagsEndedUpGoingSomewhereThatIDidNotThinkTheyWouldGo
#IThinkAnyoneWhoSaysTheyHaveNotTriedTheirOwnBreastmilkIsProbablyLyingAnyways
#BSeemsToLikeItSoItCanNotBeTooBad

Yeah these hashtags definitely went somewhere unexpected. There was/is a restaurant in London that sold/sells breastmilk ice cream though.

I’ve seen some cute moulds to make breastmilk ice lollies, but I think B is a bit too young for them at the moment. Maybe next summer?


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Categories
Oh Me, Oh Mãe

I Am Worried That Someone Will Say I Am Holding Her Wrong (11th August 2020)

I did try to choose an image that I thought someone would have less complaints with, but then I asked Tiago which image out of three he preferred and he liked the same one.

I Am Worried That Someone Will Say I Am Holding Her Wrong (11th August 2020)
 
#IWasAwareThatIHadNotTakenAPictureInSomeDays
#ISeemToDoMoreShootsTowardsTheEndOfTheWeek
#ButIThinkIAmPutOffTakingPicturesWhilstITryToCatchUpWithPostingThemOnMyBlogWhichIsBad
#BWasAsleepInHerPushchairBassinetAndIKnewIHadToFeedHerSoon
#SoISetMyStudioStuffUpReadyAndTookAFewTestShotsWithoutHer
#IFeltComfortableUsingTheLightsAsIKnewSheWouldBeFacingMe
#IThoughtIWouldWriteTheHashtagsBeforeSheWokeUpButSheWokeUpSoonerThanIThought
#IDidTheShootAndThenIStartedToPutStuffAwayWhilstFeedingHer
#ThenShePutHerHandOnMyChestSoIPutEverythingBackAndDidSomeMorePhotos
#IAmWorriedThatSomeoneWillSayIAmHoldingHerWrong
#IWasSweatingTheWholeTimeAsItIsSoHotToday
#PlannedToGoOutForLunchWithBToACoffeeShop
#IEndedUpGoingTwoHoursLaterThanPlannedButItWasNice
#ASignSaidToWearMasksIfYouAreNotSittingDownButIWasTheOnlyPersonWearingAMaskAroundTheCounter
#ThisMorningWeWentToTheHospitalAsBHadToGetHerFeetLookedAt
#SheWasBornWithPositionalTalipesWhichIThinkIsMoreWidelyKnownAsClubfoot
#IHaveFinallyStoppedPronouncingTalipesLikeItIsPortuguese
#TalipesIsACommonProblemApparently
#BWokeMeUpAt5ThenWeBothWentBackToSleepAndMyAlarmDidNotGoOff
#IWokeUpAndWasStressedOutAndTurnedToTToTellHimToGetUpButHeWasInTheBathroom
#WeHadHalfAnHourToGetUpAndOut
#SomehowWeManagedItButWeWereStressedAsWeHadNeverBeenToThatHospitalBefore
#IEndedUpOnlyBeingACoupleOfMinutesLateAsInsteadOfAskingForDirectionsRightAwayITriedToFindTheDepartmentMyself
#TheLetterWasAddressedToBabyAllenWhichTiagoSaidWasRudeButThatWasWhatSheWasCalledWhenSheWasBornAsMySurnameIsAllenAndIGaveBirthToHer
#ISatDownForAMinuteAfterGivingHerFullNameAtReceptionThenWeGotCalledThrough
#WeGotThroughTheQuestionsQuickThenAWomanCheckedHerFeetAndWithinAFewMinutesWeWereDone
#SheThenSpentAgesJustTalkingToBBeforeWeWentToFindTiagoToGoHome
#ThingsAreDefinitelyGoingBetterWithBreastfeedingThoughYesterdayWeWentToDinnerAndBottleFedHer
#TheLastTwoMealsSheHadBeenAsleepTheWholeTimeWhereasThisTimeSheWasAwakeButItWasNiceToBuildOurConfidenceWithBeingOutWhilstSheIsAwake
#IJustFeltMoreRelaxedBottlefeedingAndWeCouldShareItButIDoWantToTryToBreastfeedMoreInPublic

#IWasAwareThatIHadNotTakenAPictureInSomeDays
#ISeemToDoMoreShootsTowardsTheEndOfTheWeek
#ButIThinkIAmPutOffTakingPicturesWhilstITryToCatchUpWithPostingThemOnMyBlogWhichIsBad

Sometimes ideas for shoots come and I take the photos straight away and sometimes I do something from a list of ideas.

Now I am catching up with doing a blog post about each photo/set of hashtags, so hopefully soon it’ll be less stressful.

#BWasAsleepInHerPushchairBassinetAndIKnewIHadToFeedHerSoon
#SoISetMyStudioStuffUpReadyAndTookAFewTestShotsWithoutHer

I love multi-tasking (feeding her and doing a shoot).

#IFeltComfortableUsingTheLightsAsIKnewSheWouldBeFacingMe

If I am doing a shoot and she is in the room, I usually just put her bouncer facing away from the light and behind it. She doesn’t seem too bothered by it.

#IThoughtIWouldWriteTheHashtagsBeforeSheWokeUpButSheWokeUpSoonerThanIThought
#IDidTheShootAndThenIStartedToPutStuffAwayWhilstFeedingHer
#ThenShePutHerHandOnMyChestSoIPutEverythingBackAndDidSomeMorePhotos

She had already been putting her hands on my chest I think, but I had not really noticed. It didn’t matter in the end as I chose this photo where she is touching her ear instead. She is becoming more aware of her hands everyday though and grasping things more. I like how her feet are in this photo – she tends to feed a lot with one foot on top of the other leg. Cute.

#IAmWorriedThatSomeoneWillSayIAmHoldingHerWrong

My working title for the image was just ‘breastfeeding’, but it was a bit boring. If I am stuck for a title I try to choose something from the hashtags and this one really applies. I was taking pictures carefree, but then I did think about how people would judge me for holding her.

Obviously there are the ways that you are shown things when your baby is first born, but then they grow and build strength, and your strength and confidence grows too so you adapt and change how you do things.

#IWasSweatingTheWholeTimeAsItIsSoHotToday

Fun fact: I seem to sweat a lot. No wonder I have a fungal armpit – you can read about this exciting story in my previous post.

#PlannedToGoOutForLunchWithBToACoffeeShop
#IEndedUpGoingTwoHoursLaterThanPlannedButItWasNice
#ASignSaidToWearMasksIfYouAreNotSittingDownButIWasTheOnlyPersonWearingAMaskAroundTheCounter

It was the first time I’ve gone somewhere alone with B besides a walk. There wasn’t much food left as it was so late and I planned to read a book, but I couldn’t really concentrate. Perhaps because I don’t feel that relaxed out and about anymore, but also I kept checking on her. I’ve been there again since and more people were wearing masks, but not everyone.

#ThisMorningWeWentToTheHospitalAsBHadToGetHerFeetLookedAt
#SheWasBornWithPositionalTalipesWhichIThinkIsMoreWidelyKnownAsClubfoot
#IHaveFinallyStoppedPronouncingTalipesLikeItIsPortuguese
#TalipesIsACommonProblemApparently

I thought we were going to have her hips looked at, but obviously not. That appointment was today, and it was fine. Tiago waited in the car for us as he wasn’t allowed in as well.

I actually kept calling it Tilapes in a Portuguese way…

#BWokeMeUpAt5ThenWeBothWentBackToSleepAndMyAlarmDidNotGoOff
#IWokeUpAndWasStressedOutAndTurnedToTToTellHimToGetUpButHeWasInTheBathroom
#WeHadHalfAnHourToGetUpAndOut

He thought I had an alarm set for much later than I did and so wasn’t concerned. Today the appointment was a little later and we got there a bit earlier.

#SomehowWeManagedItButWeWereStressedAsWeHadNeverBeenToThatHospitalBefore
#IEndedUpOnlyBeingACoupleOfMinutesLateAsInsteadOfAskingForDirectionsRightAwayITriedToFindTheDepartmentMyself

It was good practice for getting up and getting out ASAP. Typically we had never been there before and I think they could see the panic in my eyes, but just watched me. I thought it would be easy to figure out, but then I wasn’t sure who to ask as I was a bit flustered. I waited in a queue at information, but it was taking too long so I went and asked some other people.

I realised today that you usually sign in on a screen and it directs you to where you need to go, but they’ve stopped that due to Covid. I just asked someone as soon as I walked in, who was super helpful and said if I got lost to come back and she would walk me there.

#TheLetterWasAddressedToBabyAllenWhichTiagoSaidWasRudeButThatWasWhatSheWasCalledWhenSheWasBornAsMySurnameIsAllenAndIGaveBirthToHer

He thought they were being rude by not addressing B by her real surname. Her baby tags in hospital said ‘BABY ALLEN’.

They updated the system with her name, but today that kept referring to her as BABY ALLEN, so they had to update it again.

#ISatDownForAMinuteAfterGivingHerFullNameAtReceptionThenWeGotCalledThrough
#WeGotThroughTheQuestionsQuickThenAWomanCheckedHerFeetAndWithinAFewMinutesWeWereDone
#SheThenSpentAgesJustTalkingToBBeforeWeWentToFindTiagoToGoHome

I didn’t seem to mention that all was good and we never have to go back for it again. She was having fun talking to B and said she felt broody and said that her profession isn’t great for not feeling broody. I was keen to leave as Tiago was waiting in the car, but I felt bad breaking up their fun party.

#ThingsAreDefinitelyGoingBetterWithBreastfeedingThoughYesterdayWeWentToDinnerAndBottleFedHer
#TheLastTwoMealsSheHadBeenAsleepTheWholeTimeWhereasThisTimeSheWasAwakeButItWasNiceToBuildOurConfidenceWithBeingOutWhilstSheIsAwake
#IJustFeltMoreRelaxedBottlefeedingAndWeCouldShareItButIDoWantToTryToBreastfeedMoreInPublic

It’s just so much easier and relaxed bottle feeding her, though I have breastfed her twice in public since (yes, I do seem to mention this in most posts). Where we were sat was quite exposed in some ways and not in others. The service was super slow which was great as we had plenty of time to feed her, change her (Tiago did it as I was a bit worried about doing it) and get her ready to go back in the bassinet before we went home).

Today I breastfed her in the hospital and out at dinner, so I feel like I won’t be having to talk about breastfeeding in public much anymore. I just get on with it now, though it sometimes is a puzzle in how to be as discreet as possible. I have a breastfeeding scarf, but I haven’t used it yet as it seems like more of a faff and probably draws more attention to myself.

I feel like everyday we are getting more confident and I hope it continues to be this way.


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Categories
Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Armpit Fungus (6th August 2020)

I asked Tiago which picture he preferred out of two options and he said ‘you’re not posting about your armpit fungus are you?’ It’s awkward, but yes I am.

He said, ‘what has that got to do with motherhood?’
I said, ‘I got it from breastfeeding’. He didn’t seem to believe me, and I might not have done but I’ve never had it before in my life until now…

Armpit Fungus (6th August 2020)
 
#ThisIsProbablyMyMostGlamorousPhotoToDate
#PleaseMayIIntroduceYouToMyArmpitFungus
#BHadHerFirstSetOfJabsTodayAndIHadACheckUp
#YesWeDidGoLastNightForBsCheckUp
#TheWomanWhoDidMyCheckUpCouldNotDoBsAsSheHasNotDoneTheRelevantCourse
#WeGaveBSomeParacetamolBeforeHandLikeTheDoctorSaidToYesterday
#SheHadAnOralVaccinationForSomethingThenA6In1VaccinationInOneLegAndThenMeningitisBInTheOther
#TheDoctorSaidTheParentsUsuallyGetMoreTraumatisedThanTheBabies
#InMyHeadIWasLikeNahIWillBeFine
#ThenPoorLittleBLetOutAWailThatIHadNotHeardBeforeAndIFeltAwful
#IThinkWritingYesterdayAboutTheAwkwardnessOfBabyTalkMadeMeGetOverMyself
#AsIJustKeptTalkingAndTalkingToBAfterwards
#IWentToTheWaitingRoomWhereIComfortedHerAndFedHerALittleWhilstWeWaitedForMyAppointment
#IGotCalledInAndIShowedHerMyArmpit
#IProbablyGotItFromBeingSweatyAllTheTimeAsBreastfeedingSeemsToMakeMeSweat
#ShePrescribedACream
#SheCheckedMyStitchesAndIHaveABitOfScarTissueThatSheSaidMightSoftenInAFewMonths
#TheySnaggedABitOfSkinWhenTheyWereStitchingMeUpAndIHopeItDoesSoften
#ISaidIHaveBeenFeelingEmotionalAtTimesButIKnowItIsWhenIAmMyMostSleepiest
#SheSaidToCallIfItFeelsLikeSomethingThatIsNotSleepRelated
#AndThatBreastfeedingIsANaturalFormOfContraceptionButItIsAdvisedToUseAnotherFormToo
#YesterdayOneOfTheWomenWorkingThereSaidHatsOffToMeForBeingPregnantAndHavingABabyDuringThePandemic
#ISaidHatsOffToHerForHavingToLookAfterTwoKidsDuringItAll
#IHadNotBeenPregnantOrHadABabyBeforeSoIDoNotKnowAnyDifferent
#IWentToPickUpMyPrescription
#ItWasMyFirstTimeInAShopSinceMarchAsTiagoWentTheTwoTimesBeforeToPickThemUp
#IBoughtTwoBagsOfDiscountedPopcornAsTheyWere10PEachAndILoveABargain
#SoPopcornWasMyFirstPhysicalPurchaseThatITappedMyCardForInAVeryLongTime
#IBoughtThemMoreForTiagoButIAteABagWhilstGoingForALongWalkHomeWithB
#BSleptThroughMyAppointmentAndAllTheWayHome

It does just look like I want to show off my armpit hair. I still feel awkward about it and I can’t even remember how long I’ve had it for now…

Today B and I attended our first baby class in real life (not via Zoom). My two favourite nursing dresses are sleeveless and it was too hot to wear a cardigan, so I decided to try not to care about my hairy pits and put my arms in the air when required. Hopefully the other Mums were just too busy worrying about themselves and their babies, and I’m sure the teacher doesn’t care. I was on the end so random people walking by probably saw too, but oh well.

There are some things that I don’t talk about in my work, and there are also some things that I probably shouldn’t talk about but here I am talking about my armpits.

If I’m this self-conscious about my hair then I should probably get rid of it, but I don’t like shaving them and epilating is too painful. I’m fine if I’m not required to lift my arms above my head, but anyways…

#ThisIsProbablyMyMostGlamorousPhotoToDate

Yes, I do love sarcasm.

#PleaseMayIIntroduceYouToMyArmpitFungus

It’s not that interesting to look at sorry. It would be better if I had little mushrooms growing there – that would be really cool! Even better if I could fry them up and eat them. Yes, I do feel a little ill now.

#BHadHerFirstSetOfJabsTodayAndIHadACheckUp
#YesWeDidGoLastNightForBsCheckUp
#TheWomanWhoDidMyCheckUpCouldNotDoBsAsSheHasNotDoneTheRelevantCourse

Everything was initially booked for the same day, which would have been a lot easier. At least we had some practice in getting out of the flat in time for appointments though.

#WeGaveBSomeParacetamolBeforeHandLikeTheDoctorSaidToYesterday #SheHadAnOralVaccinationForSomethingThenA6In1VaccinationInOneLegAndThenMeningitisBInTheOther

The paracetamol was for the meningitis B as apparently it’s not very nice, and the oral vaccine was for rotavirus, which I don’t think I have ever heard of.

#TheDoctorSaidTheParentsUsuallyGetMoreTraumatisedThanTheBabies
#InMyHeadIWasLikeNahIWillBeFine
#ThenPoorLittleBLetOutAWailThatIHadNotHeardBeforeAndIFeltAwful

I think it was more the shock than anything else, but she soon got over it. I knew it was for the best, though it’s still hard to see your baby crying.

#IThinkWritingYesterdayAboutTheAwkwardnessOfBabyTalkMadeMeGetOverMyself
#AsIJustKeptTalkingAndTalkingToBAfterwards
#IWentToTheWaitingRoomWhereIComfortedHerAndFedHerALittleWhilstWeWaitedForMyAppointment

Oh yeah I don’t care about baby talking anymore. I think B is trying her hardest to talk back which is cool. It does weird me out thinking that one day we will be having conversations, but I can’t wait! I need to start improving my Portuguese so I will know what her and T are saying…

#IGotCalledInAndIShowedHerMyArmpit
#IProbablyGotItFromBeingSweatyAllTheTimeAsBreastfeedingSeemsToMakeMeSweat

I didn’t show it straight away, but I suddenly remembered about it and it was a good time to ask about it. I don’t know what I thought it was, but I wasn’t expecting her to say fungus.

Breastfeeding really does make me sweaty so I’m not surprised.

#SheCheckedMyStitchesAndIHaveABitOfScarTissueThatSheSaidMightSoftenInAFewMonths
#TheySnaggedABitOfSkinWhenTheyWereStitchingMeUpAndIHopeItDoesSoften

I guess something had to go ‘wrong’ as the birth seemed pretty straightforward in the end. Obviously the hospital stay was a bit rocky, but it feels like old news now.

#ISaidIHaveBeenFeelingEmotionalAtTimesButIKnowItIsWhenIAmMyMostSleepiest
#SheSaidToCallIfItFeelsLikeSomethingThatIsNotSleepRelated

I definitely have been better now that I have been working on my life balance and know when to take nap (if I can).

#AndThatBreastfeedingIsANaturalFormOfContraceptionButItIsAdvisedToUseAnotherFormToo

Like I have said before I wouldn’t take any chances after a woman opposite me in the ward had a newborn and a 10-month old baby, and she was breastfeeding.

#YesterdayOneOfTheWomenWorkingThereSaidHatsOffToMeForBeingPregnantAndHavingABabyDuringThePandemic
#ISaidHatsOffToHerForHavingToLookAfterTwoKidsDuringItAll
#IHadNotBeenPregnantOrHadABabyBeforeSoIDoNotKnowAnyDifferent

She said she was getting broody by looking at B, but wouldn’t want to be pregnant now as she knows what it is like to not be pregnant during a pandemic. Major respect to anyone who had to look after their kids 24/7 whilst getting on with the rest of their lives at home.

I guess if I am ever pregnant again it will be a different experience, though who knows it might not be…

#IWentToPickUpMyPrescription
#ItWasMyFirstTimeInAShopSinceMarchAsTiagoWentTheTwoTimesBeforeToPickThemUp
#IBoughtTwoBagsOfDiscountedPopcornAsTheyWere10PEachAndILoveABargain
#SoPopcornWasMyFirstPhysicalPurchaseThatITappedMyCardForInAVeryLongTime
#IBoughtThemMoreForTiagoButIAteABagWhilstGoingForALongWalkHomeWithB

I really miss going to the supermarket and it was the closest thing to being in one. I went again to get another prescription recently and I bought more discounted food – I can’t help it, I love a bargain! I got chocolate bars and flapjacks. I know, super healthy choices.

It’s nice to have an excuse to talk to strangers and pretend that the world is semi-normal even if we are all wearing masks.

Today it was lovely to just be around so many other Mums and their babies. We met a few people who I’ve only spoken to via WhatsApp and Zoom, so it was nice to finally meet them in real life and have conversations. It’s good to get outside and just feel like life is somewhat ‘normal’ at times.

#BSleptThroughMyAppointmentAndAllTheWayHome

Lucky me! She doesn’t always sleep when I want her to, but when she does it really is great!


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Oh Me, Oh Mãe

My First Time Breastfeeding In Public (5th August 2020)

My First Time Breastfeeding In Public (5th August 2020)
 
#IDidItIFinallyBreastfedInPublic
#WellItWasTheWaitingRoomOfTheDoctorsAfterBsCheckUp
#AndNoOneWasThere
#TheReceptionStaffWereSittingBehindPerspexOrWhateverAtTheOtherEndOfTheRoom
#AndIUsedThePushchairToBlockTheViewJustInCase
#AfterAWhileIRealisedThatThereWasACCTVCameraOnTheWallToMyLeft
#Lol
#OhWellItIsQuiteDiscreetOnceYouGetThemLatchedOn
#IDoNotThinkBHadTheBestLatchButItWasTolerable
#SheFedFor6MinutesThenFellAsleepAndSleptInHerPushchairForTheNextCoupleOfHours
#ThatNeverHappens
#SheSleptThroughDinnerAndThenWokeUpOnceWeWokeHerUpForHerNextFeed
#ThisWeekItIsNationalBreastfeedingWeekSoIGuessItWasAGoodWeekToDoIt
#IDidHaveABottleOfExpressedMilkInACoolBagButIThoughtItWasMaybeMoreOfAFaffThanBreastfeeding
#TiagoSaysSheSeemsToBeABitMessierWhenFeedingFromABottleTheseDays
#IAmNotSureIfItIsJustHerGettingExcitedOrWhat
#TiagoSeemsMoreConcernedAboutItThanIAm
#IWillMentionItTomorrowWhenSheGetsHerJabsDone
#IfIRemember
#INeedToBuildMyConfidenceWithFeedingHerInPublic
#IAmSureIWouldHaveDoneItLoadsByNowIfThereWasNotAPandemic
#ButMaybeNot
#WhoKnows
#SometimesIGetStressedOutButSheOnlyHasVeryBasicNeedsRightNow
#SheIsCurrentlyLyingBellyUpOnTiagosChestHiccupping
#SheLooksQuiteSleepyButIGuessTheyAreKeepingHerUp
#SheHiccuppedALotInTheWomb
#HopefullyTheyWillStopSoonAndSheCanSleepALittle
#SheIsTooCute
#IStillCanNotBelieveThatWeHaveABaby

It’s not the best photo, but you get the point. The light from the window and me wearing a mask make it quite it dramatic.

#IDidItIFinallyBreastfedInPublic
#WellItWasTheWaitingRoomOfTheDoctorsAfterBsCheckUp
#AndNoOneWasThere
#TheReceptionStaffWereSittingBehindPerspexOrWhateverAtTheOtherEndOfTheRoom
#AndIUsedThePushchairToBlockTheViewJustInCase

It was a good first place to feed that wasn’t in a flat/house as it was quite private, so I felt confident enough to do it.

#AfterAWhileIRealisedThatThereWasACCTVCameraOnTheWallToMyLeft
#Lol

This did make me laugh. I’m guessing the video is just shown in the office section and it was all women there, so I just found it funny.

#OhWellItIsQuiteDiscreetOnceYouGetThemLatchedOn
#IDoNotThinkBHadTheBestLatchButItWasTolerable

Yes, the most nerve-wracking bit was getting her to latch on as sometimes she likes to come off a bit before starting to feed properly. Once she is feeding there isn’t much to see as she blocks the boob from view. I didn’t want to unlatch her and put her on again, but if it was more uncomfortable I would have.

#SheFedFor6MinutesThenFellAsleepAndSleptInHerPushchairForTheNextCoupleOfHours
#ThatNeverHappens
#SheSleptThroughDinnerAndThenWokeUpOnceWeWokeHerUpForHerNextFeed

We met up with Tiago after leaving the doctors and went out for dinner, which I talked about in yesterday’s post.

#IDidHaveABottleOfExpressedMilkInACoolBagButIThoughtItWasMaybeMoreOfAFaffThanBreastfeeding

Usually when we go out we take a bottle of expressed milk, but then if I feel up to it I breastfeed. Most of the time she sleeps though so the milk has had an unnecessary trip.

#TiagoSaysSheSeemsToBeABitMessierWhenFeedingFromABottleTheseDays
#IAmNotSureIfItIsJustHerGettingExcitedOrWhat
#TiagoSeemsMoreConcernedAboutItThanIAm

We mentioned this the other day and my Mum thinks she might be teething, as she is producing more saliva and is chewing the teat a bit. I think back to then though and she was just discovering her tongue and faffing about a bit.

#IWillMentionItTomorrowWhenSheGetsHerJabsDone
#IfIRemember

I forgot… probably because I wasn’t that worried.

#INeedToBuildMyConfidenceWithFeedingHerInPublic
#IAmSureIWouldHaveDoneItLoadsByNowIfThereWasNotAPandemic
#ButMaybeNot
#WhoKnows

I have done it a couple more times now. Once when we were out to lunch and another time at the park, but friends were feeding their babies too so I felt more relaxed. I would have probably been out more if there wasn’t a pandemic, but like I said, who knows?

#SometimesIGetStressedOutButSheOnlyHasVeryBasicNeedsRightNow

She needs to be fed, changed, put to bed, comforted, washed and played with. She sleeps for the majority of the day really.

#SheIsCurrentlyLyingBellyUpOnTiagosChestHiccupping

I think her favourite place (maybe not but she can’t tell us otherwise) is on Tiago’s chest; that’s where she does a lot of her tummy time.

#SheLooksQuiteSleepyButIGuessTheyAreKeepingHerUp
#SheHiccuppedALotInTheWomb
#HopefullyTheyWillStopSoonAndSheCanSleepALittle

I spelled hiccupped and hiccupping wrong. I put only one p for some reason. I should be better at spelling them considered she does it so much, but I can’t really spellcheck hashtags which is a bit annoying. It’s fine, I only have to correct the spelling in about 6 places when I realise. 👍

#SheIsTooCute
#IStillCanNotBelieveThatWeHaveABaby

I wonder when this feeling of ‘whoa, I have a baby’ will go away. I took a photo of B and I the other day, and it felt weird seeing myself with a baby. I’m feeling a lot more confident with looking after her though, which I guess you’d hope so by now…


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Categories
Oh Me, Oh Mãe

What B Sees (5th August 2020)

What B Sees (5th August 2020)
 
#IThoughtIWouldTakeAPictureOfHowILookWhenITalkToB
#YouKnowWithThatHighPitchedSingSongVoice
#ItFeelsABitAwkwardTalkingToBWhenWeAreOutAndAboutAlone
#TalkingToABabyWhoEveryoneCanSeeWillNotTalkBack
#ButSheWontBeTalkingBackForAWhileSoINeedToGetUsedToIt
#AtHomeIJustPullSillyFacesAndMakeUpSongsALot
#SheSmilesMoreNowWhichIsSuperNiceThoughItStillSeemsAtRandomTimesAndNotAtAnythingInParticular
#SheHadACheckUpAtTheDoctorsToday
#IWasNervousAboutGoingButWeWereTheOnlyOnesInTheWaitingRoom
#TheDoctorWasNiceAndIHadSpokenToHerOnThePhoneBefore
#ItIsSoGreatJustSendingInPhotosOfTheProblemAndNotHavingToWorryAboutGoing
#IHopeTheyKeepThisServiceForever
#AnywaysAllWasGoodApartFromHerHipClickingOnOneSide
#TheDoctorSaidSheWouldHaveReferredHerForItButSheAlreadyHasAnAppointmentAboutItLaterThisMonth
#ThatWasBecauseOfAReferralAfterBirthAsSheWasBornBreechAndIThinkAllBreechBabiesHaveThatCheck
#SheSaidToPutTwoNappiesOnBForNowAsTheyMightRecommendItAtTheAppointment
#TheDoctorApologisedForTalkingToBInTheSingSongBabyVoice
#ISaidNoNeedToApologise
#IHadAlreadyPlannedToDoThisShootBeforeWeWentToTheDoctorsButIfNotMaybeHerCommentWouldHaveMadeMeThinkAboutTakingAPhotoLikeThis
#AtTheDoctorsBWouldNotHaveSeenUsDoingTheWideMouthKindOfLookThoughAsWeWereWearingMasks
#TheDoctorSaidThatBIsTheMostAlert8WeekOldSheHasEverSeenButIAmSureSheSaysThatAboutAllTheBabies
#AfterwardsIBreastfedHerForTheFirstTimeInPublic
#ITookAPictureToMarkTheOccasionSoIMadeADifferentSetOfHashtagsForThatImage
#WeGotAPrescriptionForBabyParacetamolToGiveHerBeforeHerJabsTomorrow
#ThenWeWentOutForDinnerAgainToMakeTheMostOfTheGovernmentsEatOutOutToHelpOutScheme
#WeTryToChoosePlacesThatHaveALotOfSpaceAndWhereWeWillFeelMoreComfortable
#BSleptThroughItLikeSheDidLastNight
#IAmSureSheWillBeAwakeNextTimeButINeedToBuildUpMyConfidenceWithFeedingHerInPublic
#IHaveSaidBeforeThatIDoNotWantToGetChangedOrChangeMyAppearanceForTheseShoots
#SoIKeptMySunglassesOnMyHeadAsIWasStillWearingThemFromOurTripOutWhilstSettingUp

#IThoughtIWouldTakeAPictureOfHowILookWhenITalkToB
#YouKnowWithThatHighPitchedSingSongVoice

You know the voice. The one you talk to babies and animals with…

#ItFeelsABitAwkwardTalkingToBWhenWeAreOutAndAboutAlone
#TalkingToABabyWhoEveryoneCanSeeWillNotTalkBack
#ButSheWontBeTalkingBackForAWhileSoINeedToGetUsedToIt

I said that, but she actually is quite talkative in her own way. I made a video of her trying to sing yesterday, which is quite cute. She won’t be ‘talking talking’ for a long while, but she is already definitely trying.

#AtHomeIJustPullSillyFacesAndMakeUpSongsALot

I’ve posted a couple of songs (Milky Milky Moos and You’re My Baby) to my Instagram account. I should probably do another one soon…

#SheSmilesMoreNowWhichIsSuperNiceThoughItStillSeemsAtRandomTimesAndNotAtAnythingInParticular

She definitely smiles with a purpose now, which is really nice. She seems to smile more in the mornings, but maybe we are just imagining it.

#SheHadACheckUpAtTheDoctorsToday
#IWasNervousAboutGoingButWeWereTheOnlyOnesInTheWaitingRoom

It makes sense that places lock their doors to stop random people walking in, but I was awkwardly stood outside pressing a doorbell wondering if I had to call a number instead. Someone came to the door after a little while.

#TheDoctorWasNiceAndIHadSpokenToHerOnThePhoneBefore
#ItIsSoGreatJustSendingInPhotosOfTheProblemAndNotHavingToWorryAboutGoing
#IHopeTheyKeepThisServiceForever

I have mentioned this a few times already, but I really hope they do keep it. It’s super convenient and saves so much time.

#AnywaysAllWasGoodApartFromHerHipClickingOnOneSide
#TheDoctorSaidSheWouldHaveReferredHerForItButSheAlreadyHasAnAppointmentAboutItLaterThisMonth
#ThatWasBecauseOfAReferralAfterBirthAsSheWasBornBreechAndIThinkAllBreechBabiesHaveThatCheck
#SheSaidToPutTwoNappiesOnBForNowAsTheyMightRecommendItAtTheAppointment

Perhaps I should be more concerned about all of this, but I don’t see the point in getting stressed about it yet. I originally thought the appointment was the week after, but that was actually for her positional talipes (more commonly known as clubfoot – all was fine and she doesn’t need to be seen about it again). Hopefully because she will have been wearing double nappies for a few weeks by the time of her appointment it may have made a difference. I’m not entirely sure what it does, but looking online it might help the hip socket heal/put the hip back in the socket properly?

#TheDoctorApologisedForTalkingToBInTheSingSongBabyVoice
#ISaidNoNeedToApologise
#IHadAlreadyPlannedToDoThisShootBeforeWeWentToTheDoctorsButIfNotMaybeHerCommentWouldHaveMadeMeThinkAboutTakingAPhotoLikeThis

It’s quite funny seeing strangers interact with B, but it’s cute. It’s nice for her to get used to being around new people in a time when it is all a bit awkward.

#AtTheDoctorsBWouldNotHaveSeenUsDoingTheWideMouthKindOfLookThoughAsWeWereWearingMasks

I love when I smile at someone and then remember I’m wearing a mask, so they probably can’t tell. I wondered if the masks scare B, but they don’t seem to bother her. I guess she’s too young to care.

#TheDoctorSaidThatBIsTheMostAlert8WeekOldSheHasEverSeenButIAmSureSheSaysThatAboutAllTheBabies

Maybe, maybe not. I sometimes forget how young she is as she does seem older, but then again I don’t have much knowledge about young babies. I like that she spends a good amount of time awake and just chilling/daydreaming.

#AfterwardsIBreastfedHerForTheFirstTimeInPublic
#ITookAPictureToMarkTheOccasionSoIMadeADifferentSetOfHashtagsForThatImage

I was going to include it in this post, but I’ll save that fun for the next one.

#WeGotAPrescriptionForBabyParacetamolToGiveHerBeforeHerJabsTomorrow

Tiago was coming to meet us so he went and got the prescription. I still hadn’t been in a shop since March at this point.

They said to give her some before the appointment and then 4-6 hours afterwards.

#ThenWeWentOutForDinnerAgainToMakeTheMostOfTheGovernmentsEatOutOutToHelpOutScheme
#WeTryToChoosePlacesThatHaveALotOfSpaceAndWhereWeWillFeelMoreComfortable
#BSleptThroughItLikeSheDidLastNight

We went somewhere that had an outdoor area that was sheltered. It seems like some tables are quite close to others, but so far we have been quite lucky and sat a bit more to ourselves.

With her being asleep though I start to get a bit stressed towards the end as what if she wakes up just as we are about to leave? If she wakes up at the beginning or in the middle-ish it wouldn’t be so bad. We’ll deal with it when we get there though.

#IAmSureSheWillBeAwakeNextTimeButINeedToBuildUpMyConfidenceWithFeedingHerInPublic

Oh yeah she was, but it was fine and our confidence definitely got built a bit. She was awake for most of it and the service was slow, which was great as I gave us plenty of time to deal with her needs.

#IHaveSaidBeforeThatIDoNotWantToGetChangedOrChangeMyAppearanceForTheseShoots
#SoIKeptMySunglassesOnMyHeadAsIWasStillWearingThemFromOurTripOutWhilstSettingUp

I originally chose a photo where my hair was quite tidy, but T and my younger sister both preferred this one. I then realised that this is a more accurate depiction of how I generally look – my hair is usually in a mess and rarely washed. Today I washed my hair and it was starting to matt underneath, so it looks like I will be brushing it more from now on…


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Categories
Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Stuck (Don’t Wake The Baby) (4th August 2020)

A true story…

Stuck (Don’t Wake The Baby) (4th August 2020)
 
Don’t wake the baby
 
I want to make lunch 
 
Don’t wake the baby 
 
I want to get up 
 
Don’t wake the baby 
 
My phone’s about to die 
 
Don’t wake the baby 
 
My arm is stuck 
 
Don’t wake the baby 
 
I removed my arm 
 
Don’t wake the baby 
 
I woke the baby 

B fell asleep on me and I wanted to make lunch and plug my phone in, but my arm was stuck and I didn’t want to make her up. Obviously I woke her up when I eventually removed my arm.

Pre-baby we had a personal joke where when I walked into a room and T was sleeping/had his eyes closed, I’d whisper ‘shh, don’t wake the baby’.

Now he’s not the baby though and it is often used for when he walks into the room and B has finally fallen asleep, but he wants to play with her or give her affection. The phrase has been changed to ‘shh, don’t you dare wake the baby’ though.


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Categories
Oh Me, Oh Mãe

Crying Again – I’m So Dumb (31st July 2020)

Well, after rereading over my hashtags to make sure there were no mistakes I now feel SUPER awkward about posting this, but awkwardness is not a new feeling for me so here goes nothing…

Crying Again – I’m So Dumb (31st July 2020)
 
#SoManyThingsIWantToSay
#YetSoManyThingsIDoNotWantToSay
#IEmailedPicturesToMyselfWithTheEmailSubjectsBeingTooSelfishToBeAMotherAndImSoDumb
#SoDumbBecauseIDoNotHaveToWorkForNowAndYetIAmSoStressedOut
#AndIDecidedToMakeABlogWhichIJustWantToQuit
#ButIHaveInvestedTimeAndMoneyInItAlreadyAndDoNotWantToQuit
#SelfishBecauseIWantToWorkOnMyStuff
#SureItIsAboutMotherhoodNowButIDoNotKnow
#INeedToOrganiseMyTimeBetter
#ThisMorningIHadACoupleOfNapsButISwearIJustGoToSleepAndBStartsCrying
#ThisHappensInTheNightThough
#SheGoesToSleepThenSheIsCryingAgainAMinuteLaterThoughReallyItIsAWhile
#ICalledTheDoctorsAgainThisAfternoonAsIWasGettingWorriedAboutHerSpotsAndRash
#TheySaidToTryADifferentCreamAndAnotherOneWhichSheWouldGiveUsAPrescriptionFor
#TiagoWentToGetItAndThenBJustStartedToCry
#IChangedHerNappyAndBottleFedHerExpressedMilkAsDoNotLikeBreastfeedingHerAtTheMomentBecauseIDoNotWantToTouchHerNeckAndRashMuch
#IThoughtTheMilkWouldBeEnoughAndThenICouldPump
#ButItWasNotEnoughAndSheWasJustCrying
#IShouldHaveExpressedWhileIBottleFedHer
#TheFirstWeekWhenWeWereHomeBHadBeenFedSoTiagoWentFoodShopping
#ILayMyHeadDownFor10SecondsThenSheStartedToCryAndDidNotStopUntilHeGotHome
#SeeingHerSkinJustMakesMeFeelSoGuilty
#IfICouldGoBackInTimeIWouldMakeSureSheAlwaysHadABibOnOrMilkWasCleanedFromHerNeck
#IFeelLikeSuchABadMumAndMaybeIAm
#TheOtherWeekISaidToAGroupThatNowIHaveHadABabyICanFinallyPutMyselfFirst
#WhichMakesNoSenseAsBComesFirst
#INeedToChange
#DoingMyArtKeepsMeSaneSoMaybeIJustNeedToBeMoreOrganised
#IShouldNotBeWastingWaterOnTears
#IKeepGettingDehydratedAndCryingDoesNotHelpMyMilkProduction
 

#IEmailedPicturesToMyselfWithTheEmailSubjectsBeingTooSelfishToBeAMotherAndImSoDumb

I probably should have called the image ‘Being Too Selfish To Be A Mother – I’m So Dumb‘, but that really felt uncomfortable. I did two sets of pictures, but 5 minutes apart; the photo above is from the second set. I was going to choose another from the first set, but it seemed unnecessary.

#SoDumbBecauseIDoNotHaveToWorkForNowAndYetIAmSoStressedOut #AndIDecidedToMakeABlogWhichIJustWantToQuit
#ButIHaveInvestedTimeAndMoneyInItAlreadyAndDoNotWantToQuit

I was frustrated, because this is the first time in years that I haven’t had to ‘work work’ (as in have a job), but I’ve given myself more work by making a blog. At this point I was quite far behind with posting stuff, but I feel better now that I’m catching up with myself. I’ll feel better when I’m posting more in real time and not everyday like I am trying to do at the moment.

#SelfishBecauseIWantToWorkOnMyStuff
#SureItIsAboutMotherhoodNowButIDoNotKnow
#INeedToOrganiseMyTimeBetter

Not having to ‘work work’ gives me more time to work on my art stuff, but days are quite long in a weird way. At this point I was trying to do blog posts in the day, but now I usually wait until Tiago has some downtime in the evening so he can look after B and I can do a bit of my work. I feel like I’m more productive in a shorter amount of time as I can’t faff as much anymore.

#ThisMorningIHadACoupleOfNapsButISwearIJustGoToSleepAndBStartsCrying
#ThisHappensInTheNightThough
#SheGoesToSleepThenSheIsCryingAgainAMinuteLaterThoughReallyItIsAWhile

I close my eyes and then she cries. I tell her ‘you’ve just been fed, go back to bed’ (rhyme), but then I look at my phone and see that it’s been 3 hours since I fed her. Sometimes it has been 5 hours and it honestly feels like a minute.

#ICalledTheDoctorsAgainThisAfternoonAsIWasGettingWorriedAboutHerSpotsAndRash
#TheySaidToTryADifferentCreamAndAnotherOneWhichSheWouldGiveUsAPrescriptionFor

It was a steroid cream, and in the end we didn’t use it as the pharmacist seemed a bit hesitant about it because B was so young. We tried sudocrem (as the doctor said we could) and it made a big difference, otherwise I would have tried the cream that we got given. I would have used it sooner if it had been recommended before, but she initially suggested a different one. Typically sudocrem was the only one that we had at home already.

#TiagoWentToGetItAndThenBJustStartedToCry
#IChangedHerNappyAndBottleFedHerExpressedMilkAsDoNotLikeBreastfeedingHerAtTheMomentBecauseIDoNotWantToTouchHerNeckAndRashMuch

Her skin was so bad that I really didn’t want to hold her in any way that I thought might hurt her more. I should have fed her in the lying down position, but I only mastered that recently.

#IThoughtTheMilkWouldBeEnoughAndThenICouldPump
#ButItWasNotEnoughAndSheWasJustCrying
#IShouldHaveExpressedWhileIBottleFedHer

If I was a mind reader things would be a lot different. Knowing when she will wake up/how long she will sleep next, how much she will eat/drink etc – I’d be able to plan things better. But because I don’t know I just have to guess and sometimes I guess wrong…

#SeeingHerSkinJustMakesMeFeelSoGuilty
#IfICouldGoBackInTimeIWouldMakeSureSheAlwaysHadABibOnOrMilkWasCleanedFromHerNeck

On this occasion I’d look at her neck and then just cry. I felt so bad. I hadn’t felt comfortable washing her loads before and that was mainly why it was like this. I’d feel better, then I’d look at her neck and cry again.

#IFeelLikeSuchABadMumAndMaybeIAm
#TheOtherWeekISaidToAGroupThatNowIHaveHadABabyICanFinallyPutMyselfFirst
#WhichMakesNoSenseAsBComesFirst

I felt so awful after I realised what I had said. To be fair at times I still forget I’m a mother, particularly if B is asleep or if T has her and I’m in a different room to them. I’m going to say that I meant as I’m not currently ‘working working’ that it means my art comes first, rather than me even though I am in my work, but maybe I just meant what I said. I definitely don’t feel that way now. I know that B comes first and maybe saying that out loud made me think about things in a different way.

#INeedToChange
#DoingMyArtKeepsMeSaneSoMaybeIJustNeedToBeMoreOrganised

#IShouldNotBeWastingWaterOnTears
#IKeepGettingDehydratedAndCryingDoesNotHelpMyMilkProduction

I feel like I have changed and I am more organised. My art definitely helps me a lot (and helps my family by having a mother/wife who is happier) and knowing that I have time in the evenings to do some things is great if I haven’t managed to do stuff whilst B sleeps in the day.

I (currently) haven’t cried since this day, though I feel like saying that means that another session is imminent. I don’t think so, though I should have said it was the last time I cried for negative reasons – I now often find myself crying tears of joy, because B has smiled at me lots or cooed at me, which I find adorable as the sound is sweet and her lips look so cute. That seems weird to say, but it’s true.

❤ (Because I’m so organised now I’ve signed up for a coding course and in the intro stuff it says to learn how to do the shortcut for bringing up the emojis box. I didn’t know there was a emojis box, but I just brought it up –Mac – press cmd + ctrl + space / Windows -press Win+. or Win+; – and put the heart in because B is adorable.)


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