Categories
Pregnancy Waiting II

No, I Have Not Given Birth Yet (40 Weeks / 5th February 2022)

I wasn’t sure what shoot to do today. I was thinking a family shoot, but it’s easier to just do one by myself and save the next family shoot for the four of us. It also might be the last shoot that I do while pregnant, so I want to document my bump well.

Head to knee portrait. I am wearing a black top and black leggings. My top is pulled up to my bra and my leggings are pulled up to my belly button. My right hand is on my hip and my left hand is resting on my bump.
No, I Have Not Given Birth Yet (40 Weeks / 5th February 2022)
 
#IHaveDefinitelyBeenOnHighAlertForWeeksForNoReason
#IHadAMidwifeAppointmentThisWeekAndTiagoWasActuallyAvailableToBeAtTheAppointmentWithoutBForOnce
#HoweverTheyWouldNotLetHimInAsTheySaidTheyHaveToProtectTheOtherWomenWhichIsFairEnough
#IMainlyWantedHimThereAsIWantedToDeclineASweepButSheWasTotallyFineWithMeSayingNoWhichIsHowItShouldBe
#ISaidIFeltLikeThingsWereHappeningAndWhenSheCheckedBumpSheSaidItWasTight
#IHadNotEvenNoticedAndIGuessItWasABraxtonHicksContractionWhichIThinkIHaveBeenHavingALotOf
#BabyWasHeadDownWithAGoodHeartbeatSoSheTriedToBookMeInForAnInductionAtTheLatestPossibleDate
#TheyAreFullyBookedSoINeedToCallOnTheMorningOfThatDayButIAmHopingTheBabyWillBeHereByThen
#BetweenNowAndThenIHaveAnotherMidwifeAppointmentWhereTheyWillOfferMeASweep
#IAmCurrentlyOnTheFenceAboutWhetherIWillAcceptItOrNot
#LastNightWeOrderedIndianFoodAndIFeltSoHungryAndCouldNotStopEating
#IThinkTheBabyHasDroppedNowSoIDoNotGetAcidRefluxAsMuchSoITryToEatWhenIFeelLikeIt
#ACoupleOfNightsThisWeekIHaveGoneDownstairsToEatASnackAround3InTheMorning
#WhenIWasInLabourWithBIReallyCouldNotEatSoIAmJustTryingToGiveMyBodyAsMuchEnergyAsPossibleInCaseIDoNotFeelLikeEatingAgain
#ISleptSoBadlyLastNightAndItWasHorrible
#IWouldGenerallySleepForAnHourAndThenBeAwakeForTwoHours
#BHasBeenSleepingWellButLastNightSheWasAwakeForABitTooWhichThrewMeOffABit
#IHadToUseANoiseMachineToHelpMeSleepAndLaterIListenedToOnlyTimeByEnyaOnRepeatAndFeltQuiteRelaxed
#WhenICanNotSleepIHaveBeenReadingNewPostsOnAGroupForWomenWhoAreDueThisMonth
#EveryoneSeemsInARushToHaveTheirBabyBeforeTheirDueDateAndGettingUpsetWhenTheirDueDateComesWithNoSigns
#IWantToWriteALotButIAlsoDoNotWantToAnnoyEveryoneBySayingYouAllJustNeedToChillOutAndRelax
#SoInsteadISayNothingAndJustReadWhichIsNotVeryHelpful
#IfIGetToThePointOfNeedingAnInductionThenTiagoIsAllowedToBeThereWithMeWhichIsGood
#ThisDefinitelyFeelsLikeAVeryDifferentExperienceThisTimeAsWithBIHadNoneOfThisWaitingAround
#LastNightIWasCryingAtAVideoOfABoyMeetingHisLittleSisterForTheFirstTimeAsHeWasGettingSoEmotional
#IAlsoCriedALotAtVideosOfGrandmothersSeeingTheirGrandchildrenForTheFirstTimeInALongTimeDueToThePandemic
#IReadAnArticleAboutToddlersAndThePandemicAndHowItMayBeAffectingTheirSocialSkills
#BIsDefinitelyGettingMoreUsedToPeopleInTheNeighbourhoodAndLikesToStrokeDogsMoreWhichHisNice
#IThinkHerGoingToNurseryIsGoodForHerAndSheNowRunsAroundThePlaygroundWithHerFriendWhichIsReallyNiceToSee
#IKeepSayingItButICanNotWaitToSeeHowSheReactsToHerSister

#IHaveDefinitelyBeenOnHighAlertForWeeksForNoReason

I think most people who see my bump on the regular thought I would not still be pregnant. A couple of people we see around commented yesterday that my bump has changed shape.

#IHadAMidwifeAppointmentThisWeekAndTiagoWasActuallyAvailableToBeAtTheAppointmentWithoutBForOnce #HoweverTheyWouldNotLetHimInAsTheySaidTheyHaveToProtectTheOtherWomenWhichIsFairEnough

So he went back to the car and did some work. He wasn’t bothered.

#IMainlyWantedHimThereAsIWantedToDeclineASweepButSheWasTotallyFineWithMeSayingNoWhichIsHowItShouldBe

For some reason I thought I’d have to put up a fight, which I said to her but she said ‘no, we just have to offer it’.

#ISaidIFeltLikeThingsWereHappeningAndWhenSheCheckedBumpSheSaidItWasTight #IHadNotEvenNoticedAndIGuessItWasABraxtonHicksContractionWhichIThinkIHaveBeenHavingALotOf

I’ve always said I’m not really sure what are kicks and what are Braxton Hicks, but after a bit more reading it seems like BH makes your bump go tight for quite a while. I was having a lot of them last night.

#BabyWasHeadDownWithAGoodHeartbeatSoSheTriedToBookMeInForAnInductionAtTheLatestPossibleDate #TheyAreFullyBookedSoINeedToCallOnTheMorningOfThatDayButIAmHopingTheBabyWillBeHereByThen

She said a date and I asked if that was as long as I’d be allowed to go. She said yes. Bit disappointed as I’ve heard of people having a bit more time, but I would be surprised if I get that far.

#BetweenNowAndThenIHaveAnotherMidwifeAppointmentWhereTheyWillOfferMeASweep #IAmCurrentlyOnTheFenceAboutWhetherIWillAcceptItOrNot

I have some time, I might not get that far. I keep saying it, but who knows.

#LastNightWeOrderedIndianFoodAndIFeltSoHungryAndCouldNotStopEating

It was so good. We have leftovers for today. I could go and just eat it all now – I’m going to eat after I finish writing this.

#IThinkTheBabyHasDroppedNowSoIDoNotGetAcidRefluxAsMuchSoITryToEatALotWhenIFeelLikeIt

Though I’ve been feeling a bit sick lately, but it might be due to my hormones changing for labour?

#ACoupleOfNightsThisWeekIHaveGoneDownstairsToEatASnackAround3InTheMorning

Always a samosa with some spicy tomato and onion relish. Yum.

#WhenIWasInLabourWithBIReallyCouldNotEatSoIAmJustTryingToGiveMyBodyAsMuchEnergyAsPossibleInCaseIDoNotFeelLikeEatingAgain

I feel quite thirsty as well, so I’m trying to stay as hydrated and fed as possible. I need to rest more though.

#ISleptSoBadlyLastNightAndItWasHorrible

I dislike lying awake trying to sleep for ages.

#IWouldGenerallySleepForAnHourAndThenBeAwakeForTwoHours

Fun times.

#BHasBeenSleepingWellButLastNightSheWasAwakeForABitTooWhichThrewMeOffABit

We had to go in a couple of times. Tiago changed her nappy as she’d had a bath, and she likes to drink a lot of water in the bath…

#IHadToUseANoiseMachineToHelpMeSleepAndLaterIListenedToOnlyTimeByEnyaOnRepeatAndFeltQuiteRelaxed

Weirdly I had that song scheduled for today on my YouTube channel – I danced to it a while ago so had no clue.

Cue me looking up Enya’s wikipedia page during my reading rampage.

#WhenICanNotSleepIHaveBeenReadingNewPostsOnAGroupForWomenWhoAreDueThisMonth

That and undoing all the good phone behaviour I had the other month.

#EveryoneSeemsInARushToHaveTheirBabyBeforeTheirDueDateAndGettingUpsetWhenTheirDueDateComesWithNoSigns #IWantToWriteALotButIAlsoDoNotWantToAnnoyEveryoneBySayingYouAllJustNeedToChillOutAndRelax #SoInsteadISayNothingAndJustReadWhichIsNotVeryHelpful

I’m sure I’d just piss them all off with my comments, so I’m better off staying quiet.

#IfIGetToThePointOfNeedingAnInductionThenTiagoIsAllowedToBeThereWithMeWhichIsGood

They asked me if I wanted an in or out patient induction. I had no clue about the difference, so luckily her phone went dead so I had some time to ask her a bit more before she rang back. An out patient means I would be given a pessary to use at home, labour at home, but I’d have to go in earlier that day or the day before for a scan. In patient means I’ll have it there, but we’ll have to go in at some point for Covid tests. In patient seems easier as my parents can have B and hopefully things would happen fast as I’d be so due. (I read that inductions happen more effectively the more pregnant you are.)

#ThisDefinitelyFeelsLikeAVeryDifferentExperienceThisTimeAsWithBIHadNoneOfThisWaitingAround

With B my waters broke, I went to hospital, they wouldn’t let me go home as she was breech and had me on a countdown to a c-section. Luckily I went into labour (by staying calm and relaxed) and just laboured at the hospital, then got transferred to the delivery suite when I was in established labour.

#LastNightIWasCryingAtAVideoOfABoyMeetingHisLittleSisterForTheFirstTimeAsHeWasGettingSoEmotional

He was a bit older than B, so I don’t think B will be reacting like that.

#IAlsoCriedALotAtVideosOfGrandmothersSeeingTheirGrandchildrenForTheFirstTimeInALongTimeDueToThePandemic

Bless them all.

#IReadAnArticleAboutToddlersAndThePandemicAndHowItMayBeAffectingTheirSocialSkills #BIsDefinitelyGettingMoreUsedToPeopleInTheNeighbourhoodAndLikesToStrokeDogsMoreWhichHisNice #IThinkHerGoingToNurseryIsGoodForHerAndSheNowRunsAroundThePlaygroundWithHerFriendWhichIsReallyNiceToSee

I’m not too concerned. I think her seeing my Nan everyday is good, and we see my Mum a lot so at least she has not just been stuck in a bubble with me and T for the last 15 months.

#IKeepSayingItButICanNotWaitToSeeHowSheReactsToHerSister

I showed her the video of the siblings this morning and she seemed quite captivated.


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Categories
Pregnancy Waiting II

General Documenting Pregnancy Shoot IX (40 Weeks / 2nd February 2022)

Shoot which I am recreating for the 9th time this pregnancy. I am wearing a bra and leggings. I have my right hand clasping my left elbow. My bump is bigger than the previous version of this image.
General Documenting Pregnancy Shoot IX (40 Weeks / 2nd February 2022)
 
#IReallyDidNotThinkThatIWouldStillBePregnantAt40Weeks
#ItIsNiceThatIHaveHadABitMoreTimeToMyselfBeforeBabyXArrivesThough
#IReallyDoForgetAtTimesThatThereCouldBeABabyArrivingAnyDayNow
#ThoughSometimesIFeelLikeTheBabyIsComingAndISuddenlyFeelQuiteCalm
#LetUsHopeThatIFeelLikeThatWhenTheBabyIsActuallyComing
#IThinkAtTheMomentItIsTheUnknownOfNotKnowingWhenTheBabyWillArriveThatIsMakingMeFeelABitStressed
#IJustDoNotWantItToBeTheMiddleOfTheNightWhenMyParentsNeedToComeAndPickUpB
#EspeciallyAsBIsAtNurseryAFewSessionsAWeekNowAndMyMumComesRoundAFewTimesAWeekSoIAmSureItWillHappenAtAVeryInconvenientTime
#IAmPassingTheTimeByThinkingOfWhichDateIWouldLikeToGiveBirthOnAsILikeTheNumbersLikeToday
#ButThenThatDatePassesAndIHaveToFindAnotherOneThatILikeButReallyItDoesNotMatter
#IHaveHadMegaPainInMyRightBoobAFewTimesSinceMyLastShoot
#IHaveNotBotheredTryingToDoTheColostrumHarvestingYetButIMightStartTodayOrTomorrow
#IWantedToGetToThisShootAndIHopeThisIsTheLastOneSoIThinkIWillStartTryingToDoAnythingToKickstartFullOnLabourNow
#IThinkIWillTurnDownTheSweepThatIsScheduledForMeAsThereIsAnotherOneBookedInForAFewDaysLater
#IJustDoNotWantToGetToThePointWhereIHaveToBeInducedThoughIWillBeSurprisedIfIDoButWhoKnows
#AboutAWeekAgoIRealisedThatICanNoLongerDoTheInsideSectionOfMyCoatUp
#SoWhenItIsColdIWearABigCardiganUnderneathMyCoatThoughTheWeatherWasReallyNiceYesterday
#WheneverIGoForWalksNowAndBumpIntoSomeoneIKnowTheyAlwaysSayTheyAreSurprisedToSeeMeOut
#IFeelLikeIHaveBecomeChattierWithMorePeopleOverTheLastFewWeeksAndKnowSomeMorePeople
#IAmDefinitelyWaddlingMoreNowEspeciallyIfIGoOutWithoutBAndThePushchair
#IHaveBeenGaggingWheneverIBrushMyTeethInTheEveningForWeeksNowAndIAmBoredOfIt
#IHaveATowelUnderneathTheBedsheetAndThenOneOnTopOfItInCaseMyWatersBreakWhenIAmInBed
#SomeNightsISleepWellAndSomeNightsIWakeUpLoadsOrCanNotSleepForAnHourOrTwo
#YesterdayIBuiltBsTableAndChairsWhichWasANiceDistraction
#SheHadLunchAtItAndAteMoreCreamCheeseOnToastThanSheEverHasSoThatWasGood
#ANewThingOfHersIsWalkingAroundOnHerTiptoesWhichIGuessSheDoesBecauseSheHasFiguredOutSheCanDoIt
#SheIsAlsoAReallySupportiveCheerleaderAtTheMomentWhoClapsEverythingIDoWhichIsGoodForMySelfEsteem
#IAmNotSureIfItIsHormonesOrWhatButIAmCurrentlyObsessedWithA30SecondSectionOfBatOutOfHellAndIKeepPlayingThatBitOnRepeat
#IHopeThatBabyXLikesMusicAndDancingAsMuchAsBDoesButIfNotThatIsFine
#IDoNotWantToWishTheirEarlyYearsAwayButIAlsoCanNotWaitToSeeTheBigHumansTheyTurnInto

(These shoots have been really stressing me out. I doubt I’ll get to 42 weeks, so I hope this is the last time I have to do one. I’m definitely disappointed that they don’t line up better – I wish I’d known that I’d repeat this shot, or thought about it more and made my life easier by standing or something.)

#IReallyDidNotThinkThatIWouldStillBePregnantAt40Weeks

I’ve been on high alert for 3 weeks as B was so early…

#ItIsNiceThatIHaveHadABitMoreTimeToMyselfBeforeBabyXArrivesThough

B’s at nursery 3 sessions a week, so I’ve had some time to get some things done and just feel less mentally exhausted.

#IReallyDoForgetAtTimesThatThereCouldBeABabyArrivingAnyDayNow

Tiago really does forget I think (I’m sure I say the same things every post now).

#ThoughSometimesIFeelLikeTheBabyIsComingAndISuddenlyFeelQuiteCalm

The other night in bed I thought ‘this is it’. Nope.

#LetUsHopeThatIFeelLikeThatWhenTheBabyIsActuallyComing

Fingers crossed. Probably not as when the baby is actually coming I need to get organised – finish packing the last bits of my hospital bag (things that I use every day like phone charger and toiletries), get B’s stuff organised etc.

#IThinkAtTheMomentItIsTheUnknownOfNotKnowingWhenTheBabyWillArriveThatIsMakingMeFeelABitStressed

I like to be organised. If I knew the baby was coming tomorrow I’d get stuff ready…

#IJustDoNotWantItToBeTheMiddleOfTheNightWhenMyParentsNeedToComeAndPickUpB

My waters broke with B at 1am, so let’s see.

#EspeciallyAsBIsAtNurseryAFewSessionsAWeekNowAndMyMumComesRoundAFewTimesAWeekSoIAmSureItWillHappenAtAVeryInconvenientTime

It would be great if it happened while B was at nursery or my Mum was already here. That’d be too convenient though.

#IAmPassingTheTimeByThinkingOfWhichDateIWouldLikeToGiveBirthOnAsILikeTheNumbersLikeToday

2/2/22 is cool.

#ButThenThatDatePassesAndIHaveToFindAnotherOneThatILikeButReallyItDoesNotMatter

The anniversary of our first date is coming up soon, but to be fair after today I care less.

#IHaveHadMegaPainInMyRightBoobAFewTimesSinceMyLastShoot

I still haven’t had any noticeable boob leaks this pregnancy.

#IHaveNotBotheredTryingToDoTheColostrumHarvestingYetButIMightStartTodayOrTomorrow

B came before I had the chance with her, but I just think it will not work for me. I’ll give it a go though… maybe.

#IWantedToGetToThisShootAndIHopeThisIsTheLastOneSoIThinkIWillStartTryingToDoAnythingToKickstartFullOnLabourNow

I feel like maybe I have been in early labour for a week, but it is hard to say without being examined every day. I want to avoid that until next week really…

#IThinkIWillTurnDownTheSweepThatIsScheduledForMeAsThereIsAnotherOneBookedInForAFewDaysLater

Reading about it it just seems like it increases the chance of you getting an infection, or your waters prematurely breaking which then puts you on a deadline and probably being induced.

#IJustDoNotWantToGetToThePointWhereIHaveToBeInducedThoughIWillBeSurprisedIfIDoButWhoKnows

[Trigger warning: Skip this part if you are pregnant and do not want to read something negative about inductions – don’t read the italics]

I was already feeling worried, and then someone in the park said their girlfriend was induced and she said if anyone tries to do that to her again to kick them in the face.

[Okay you can read again]

#AboutAWeekAgoIRealisedThatICanNoLongerDoTheInsideSectionOfMyCoatUp

I know that I could not do the outside up before I gave birth to B, but I’m not sure about the inside.

#SoWhenItIsColdIWearABigCardiganUnderneathMyCoatThoughTheWeatherWasReallyNiceYesterday

The cardigan makes me look super pregnant, geez. It’s so nice to have pleasant weather where I don’t have to put a million layers on B.

#WheneverIGoForWalksNowAndBumpIntoSomeoneIKnowTheyAlwaysSayTheyAreSurprisedToSeeMeOut

Someone was saying yesterday that they are surprised that I get out as much as I do. I’m trying to walk this baby out, but also I feel better for getting out of the house and moving about.

#IFeelLikeIHaveBecomeChattierWithMorePeopleOverTheLastFewWeeksAndKnowSomeMorePeople

I just know a lot of people with dogs, who generally talk to other people with dogs and so I get introduced to them. The bump is quite obvious now and a big talking point. It’s nice to chat to people.

#IAmDefinitelyWaddlingMoreNowEspeciallyIfIGoOutWithoutBAndThePushchair

When I’m with B we faff a lot and the pushchair gives me a lot of support. I walk less when I’m with B generally.

#IHaveBeenGaggingWheneverIBrushMyTeethInTheEveningForWeeksNowAndIAmBoredOfIt

I’ve mentioned it before. I brush my teeth after lunch and don’t feel sick then, it’s weird.

#IHaveATowelUnderneathTheBedsheetAndThenOneOnTopOfItInCaseMyWatersBreakWhenIAmInBed

I don’t want to ruin my Nan’s nice mattress. My waters might not break though. I feel like they’re more likely to break on a walk on a cold day and I’m freezing trying to get home quickly…

#SomeNightsISleepWellAndSomeNightsIWakeUpLoadsOrCanNotSleepForAnHourOrTwo

The other night I was awake for 2 hours. Yesterday I struggled to nap.

#YesterdayIBuiltBsTableAndChairsWhichWasANiceDistraction

We had them delivered to my parents’ house in case we were at the hospital, but (spoiler) we weren’t… I love building furniture.

#SheHadLunchAtItAndAteMoreCreamCheeseOnToastThanSheEverHasSoThatWasGood

She was probably just hungry, but she seemed happy there. I’m still going to give her breakfast and dinner in her high chair for now.

#ANewThingOfHersIsWalkingAroundOnHerTiptoesWhichIGuessSheDoesBecauseSheHasFiguredOutSheCanDoIt

Why not?

#SheIsAlsoAReallySupportiveCheerleaderAtTheMomentWhoClapsEverythingIDoWhichIsGoodForMySelfEsteem

It is quite funny. She will put something in the bin and clap for herself, which is fine until it is something that she shouldn’t put in the bin – like her cup or my Nan’s gardening gloves.

#IAmNotSureIfItIsHormonesOrWhatButIAmCurrentlyObsessedWithA30SecondSectionOfBatOutOfHellAndIKeepPlayingThatBitOnRepeat

I generally play from 8 to 9 minutes. So good.

#IHopeThatBabyXLikesMusicAndDancingAsMuchAsBDoesButIfNotThatIsFine

I do not want to compare them. They will like what they like and I’ll do my best to support their interests (if they are not illegal 🙂 )

#IDoNotWantToWishTheirEarlyYearsAwayButIAlsoCanNotWaitToSeeTheBigHumansTheyTurnInto

I’m so intrigued. B is constantly changing, which is amazing to see. The newborn phase will be over before I know it with Baby X.


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Categories
Pregnancy Waiting II

I Can Not Believe That I Am Still Pregnant (39 Weeks / 28th January 2022)

Self-portrait where I am kneeling and have my hands down, but am looking under my right arm.
I Can Not Believe That I Am Still Pregnant (39 Weeks / 28th January 2022)
 
#IAmQuiteSurprisedThatTheBabyHasNotBeenBornYet
#IKeepThinkingIAmShowingSignsOfTheBabyBeingClose
#IThoughtHavingTinglyLegsForACoupleOfDaysWasASignAsMyLegsWouldReallyCrampUpBeforeIFeltTheUrgeToPushOutB
#MyLowerBackHurtsOnAndOffButTheMidwifeSaidAtMyAppointmentThatBabyMayBeABitHunchedOverWhichMayBeCausingIt
#SomeOfTheseSensationsMightJustBeDueToBeingHeavilyPregnantAndNeverBeingThisPregnantBefore
#IHadAScanWhichWentFineAndBabyIsHeadDown
#IWroteInMyCalendarWhichDepartmentItWasAndItWasAGoodJobIDidAsEvenThenIHadAHardTimeFindingIt
#IWentToGoToReceptionButItWasBeingWorkedOnSoIThoughtICouldFindItLikeLastTime
#IWentToTheFloorThatIThoughtItWasOnButTheSignsDidNotShowTheDepartmentSoIWentBackToTheGroundFloor
#SomeoneThenDirectedMeToAHigherFloorSoIWentThereAndItDidNotLookRightSoIWentBackToTheFloorIThoughtItWasOn
#TwoPeopleDirectedMeToTheGroundFloorButISaidTheySentMeToThisFloorLastTimeAndTheySaidOhYeahItIsAroundTheCorner
#ThisTimeIWasTheOnlyOneInTheWaitingRoomAndItWasSoHot
#ISoonGotCalledInAndTheSonographerWorkedQuietlyOccasionallyMentioningWhatBodyPartSheWasMeasuringOrChecking
#SheSaidThatTheGrowthIsFineAndTheBabyIsMeasuringAtAbout7PoundsAndFourteenOunces
#IJustCheckedTheGrowthChartAndSheWasSevenPoundsThreeTwoWeeksAgoSoSheIsDefinitelyGrowing
#TheBabyHasDefinitelyGrownAnywaysAndIWillNotBeGoingBackForAnotherScanAsAIDoNotNeedOneAndBTheBabyWillBeBornSoonAnyways
#MasksAreNoLongerMandatoryInEnglandButIWillDefinitelyKeepWearingOne
#NotThatIGoToManyPlacesButItSeemsTooEarlyAgain
#IWantBToBeAbleToStayInNurseryAsNowIAmSoUsedToHerGoingSoIDoNotWantToGetCovid
#SheIsAlwaysComingHomeWithAColdAndSheSeemedQuiteUnderTheWeatherYesterday
#IThinkItMayHaveBeenTeethingThatWasMakingHerReallyBadThoughAsSheHasBeenVeryDribblyAndHerCheeksWereSoRedAtOnePoint
#IGaveHerParacetamolAndSheSeemedToPerkUpEachTimeSoHopefullyItPassesSoon
#IHaveNappedTheLastCoupleOfDaysWhichHasBeenGoodButWhenINapISleepWorseAtNight
#ICanNotWinAsIFeelLikeINeedToRestDuringTheDayAndObviouslyGetSomeSleepAtNightAsINeverKnowWhenTheBabyWillCome
#IWantToHaveEnoughEnergyToDeliverThisBabyThoughIGuessMyBodyWillWakeUpOnceLabourActuallyStarts
#BHasStartedToRunBetweenTheKitchenCupboardsAndTheWindowInTheLivingRoom
#SheHasAlsoStartedToPatACoupleOfSmallDogsInTheParkWhichIsReallyCuteToSee
#ThereAreAFewBooksThatSheIsQuiteObsessedWithAtTheMomentButSheHasSuddenlyTakenInterestInOneAboutAMumBeingPregnant
#IStillThinkSheDoesNotHaveMuchOfAClueAboutHowMuchOurLittleWorldIsAboutToChange
#IFeelLikeWeAreInAGoodRoutineNowSoItIsGoingToBeFunWorkingOutANewOneThatIncludesTheBaby
Self-portrait of me propping myself up with my elbows and knees. My bump is hanging down.
I Can Not Believe That I Am Still Pregnant (39 Weeks / 28th January 2022) II

I prefer the second image, but I am a bit worried about criticism for it as it’s probably not a pose that heavily pregnant women should be doing. I held it for about 30 seconds…

#IAmQuiteSurprisedThatTheBabyHasNotBeenBornYet

I feel like I really need to look at my hospital bag and hypnobirthing again…

#IKeepThinkingIAmShowingSignsOfTheBabyBeingClose

Well, at this point there really isn’t much time left for the baby. My Nan is like ‘she’ll come when she’s ready’, but I’m like ‘unless she gets to 42 weeks and then they’ll force her out…’.

#IThoughtHavingTinglyLegsForACoupleOfDaysWasASignAsMyLegsWouldReallyCrampUpBeforeIFeltTheUrgeToPushOutB

I’d be resting having some water/energy drink and then my legs would start to cramp up and I knew it was time for the down stage of labour again.

#MyLowerBackHurtsOnAndOffButTheMidwifeSaidAtMyAppointmentThatBabyMayBeABitHunchedOverWhichMayBeCausingIt

When she couldn’t figure out what position the baby was in, she was saying that she thought the baby was hunching over her shoulders which was confusing her.

#SomeOfTheseSensationsMightJustBeDueToBeingHeavilyPregnantAndNeverBeingThisPregnantBefore

I am finding it harder to get up from the floor now for sure…

#IHadAScanWhichWentFineAndBabyIsHeadDown

Hurrah. Still holding my breath though…

#IWroteInMyCalendarWhichDepartmentItWasAndItWasAGoodJobIDidAsEvenThenIHadAHardTimeFindingIt

Last time I went to the wrong department, so this time I was not going to get it wrong.

#IWentToGoToReceptionButItWasBeingWorkedOnSoIThoughtICouldFindItLikeLastTime

I wasn’t sure if reception was even open. It was a bit weird. Someone at the door asks you why you are there, and then they just say okay.

#IWentToTheFloorThatIThoughtItWasOnButTheSignsDidNotShowTheDepartmentSoIWentBackToTheGroundFloor

Luckily I had got there early, but time was running out. My Mum dropped me off and took B to a supermarket while she waited as T was in a meeting.

#SomeoneThenDirectedMeToAHigherFloorSoIWentThereAndItDidNotLookRightSoIWentBackToTheFloorIThoughtItWasOn #TwoPeopleDirectedMeToTheGroundFloorButISaidTheySentMeToThisFloorLastTimeAndTheySaidOhYeahItIsAroundTheCorner

They said it is confusing. Obviously…

#ThisTimeIWasTheOnlyOneInTheWaitingRoomAndItWasSoHot

I’m definitely not going to pack any heavy clothes for the hospital.

#ISoonGotCalledInAndTheSonographerWorkedQuietlyOccasionallyMentioningWhatBodyPartSheWasMeasuringOrChecking

At one point I said it’s so clever and she said if you were taught how to use it you’d soon understand it.

#SheSaidThatTheGrowthIsFineAndTheBabyIsMeasuringAtAbout7PoundsAndFourteenOunces #IJustCheckedTheGrowthChartAndSheWasSevenPoundsThreeTwoWeeksAgoSoSheIsDefinitelyGrowing

I know the weight isn’t super accurate (or so I think), but the fact the technology shows a substantial increase in weight over 2 weeks says a lot.

#TheBabyHasDefinitelyGrownAnywaysAndIWillNotBeGoingBackForAnotherScanAsAIDoNotNeedOneAndBTheBabyWillBeBornSoonAnyways

Hurrah, it’s a massive faff going there so that’s a relief.

#MasksAreNoLongerMandatoryInEnglandButIWillDefinitelyKeepWearingOne #NotThatIGoToManyPlacesButItSeemsTooEarlyAgain

I really don’t see what the hassle is with wearing a mask.

#IWantBToBeAbleToStayInNurseryAsNowIAmSoUsedToHerGoingSoIDoNotWantToGetCovid

It was a struggle when T and I were both ill last month and had to look after B. Plus having a newborn baby = more difficulty. No thanks, I’d rather avoid getting it. I probably won’t be venturing anywhere indoors with Baby for a while anyways, but no masks puts me off going to a few possible places that I could go to.

Also, my Nan is quite elderly and I do not want her catching it – though she goes out shopping way more than I do. She needs to go out for sanity, so I hope people who do not wear masks keep their distance.

#SheIsAlwaysComingHomeWithAColdAndSheSeemedQuiteUnderTheWeatherYesterday

🙁

#IThinkItMayHaveBeenTeethingThatWasMakingHerReallyBadThoughAsSheHasBeenVeryDribblyAndHerCheeksWereSoRedAtOnePoint

I don’t like seeing her poorly. Just lying on the floor while rubbing her back etc. Poor thing.

#IGaveHerParacetamolAndSheSeemedToPerkUpEachTimeSoHopefullyItPassesSoon

She is still in a good mood though even when she is not feeling great. Still dancing. Still keen for books. Still had some appetite.

#IHaveNappedTheLastCoupleOfDaysWhichHasBeenGoodButWhenINapISleepWorseAtNight

The other night I was awake from 2 to 3.30am. Every time I wake up I wonder if my water has broken.

#ICanNotWinAsIFeelLikeINeedToRestDuringTheDayAndObviouslyGetSomeSleepAtNightAsINeverKnowWhenTheBabyWillCome

I don’t want my water breaking at 10pm when I haven’t slept since the morning etc.

#IWantToHaveEnoughEnergyToDeliverThisBabyThoughIGuessMyBodyWillWakeUpOnceLabourActuallyStarts

Fingers crossed.

#BHasStartedToRunBetweenTheKitchenCupboardsAndTheWindowInTheLivingRoom

I’ll say ‘run to the cupboard’ ‘run to the window’ etc. She’ll do it about 10 times. I joke that I am training her for marathons already. She has been napping better lately, it’s probably just her being under the weather but it’s good to wear her out too.

#SheHasAlsoStartedToPatACoupleOfSmallDogsInTheParkWhichIsReallyCuteToSee

One we see most days, and the other one we have only met a couple of times but is a therapy dog and used to little kids patting it. She still won’t go near the big dogs though, unless they come over to her and sniff her, which they like to do from time to time…

#ThereAreAFewBooksThatSheIsQuiteObsessedWithAtTheMomentButSheHasSuddenlyTakenInterestInOneAboutAMumBeingPregnant

I think it’s because it rhymes and sometimes she dances to it while I say the words.

#IStillThinkSheDoesNotHaveMuchOfAClueAboutHowMuchOurLittleWorldIsAboutToChange

I keep saying it, but it’s true. I don’t know if I’m ready for it, but I have little choice.

#IFeelLikeWeAreInAGoodRoutineNowSoItIsGoingToBeFunWorkingOutANewOneThatIncludesTheBaby

Just yesterday I was thinking how steady we are with our routine and how it works well. Baby will just slot in and will be happy as long as she gets fed, changed and sleeps for now I guess.


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Pregnancy Waiting II

39 Weeks Is Definitely A Big Milestone (39 Weeks / 26th January 2022)

Remake of an image I made when I was 30 weeks pregnant. It is a self-portrait from head to knees. I am nude and my left arm is across my breasts and clasping my right upper arm. My right hand is over my pubic area.
39 Weeks Is Definitely A Big Milestone (39 Weeks / 26th January 2022)
 
#ITookAPhotoOfMyselfNudeAt30WeeksAndSaidThatThatSeemedLikeABigMilestone
#NowIAm39WeeksWhichIHaveNeverBeenBeforeAndSoIThoughtIWouldRecreateTheImage
#ForNumericalPurposes40WeeksWouldBeBetterButIMightNotGetThatFar
#IHadMy38WeekAppointmentAndMyUrineAndBloodPressureWasFineThoughISaidIDidNotKnowWhatPositionTheBabyWasInNow
#ILiftedUpMyDressAndTheBabyWasMakingSomeWeirdShapes
#TheStudentMidwifeSpentAGoodFewMinutesFeelingMyBumpButSaidSheReallyDidNotKnow
#SoTheOtherMidwifeCameOverAndSheSaidSheWasAlsoUnsureAsMyStomachMusclesAreApparentlySoStrongThatItIsHardToTell
#SheGuessedBreechThenToldTheStudentToTryForAHeartbeatOnTheLowerLeftSide
#ShePickedUpAStrongOneButThenTheMidwifeSaidSheShouldHaveSaidToGoForTheUpperLeftSide
#ItWasNotVeryStrongThereSoBasedOnTheHeartbeatTheyThinkTheBabyIsHeadDown
#IGoBetweenFeelingQuiteRelaxedAndStressedAboutGivingBirthAndHavingASecondChild
#SomeMomentsIFeelReallyMentallyPreparedAndThenOtherTimesIHaveToRemindMyselfThatICouldBeHavingABabyAnyDayNow
#IKeepTryingToVisualiseHowItWillBeAndIHopeWeAllAdaptWell
#CurrentlyIAmGoingToBedEarlierAndGettingUpBeforeBToStretch
#IHaveMissedNapsTheLastCoupleOfDaysAndHaveBeenDoingALotOfNesting
#LastNightIFeltLikeMaybeIWasInTheEarlyStagesOfLabourDueToLegTinglesButMaybeIAmImaginingThings
#BFellOverWhenWeWereAtTheParkTheOtherDayAndHasACutUnderHerNose
#IHopeItHealsQuickSoThatItIsNotTooVisibleInTheFirstPicturesOfBAndHerSibling
#ThatSoundsQuiteShallowButItIsSomethingIHaveBeenThinkingAbout
#WeFinallyGotBANewCupWhichIsLikeHerCousinsThatSheLikesToDrinkOutOf
#IHaveNeverSeenHerSoEnthusiasticForJustPlainOldWater
#LastNightIFilledItUpFromMyGlassAndThenSheKeptWantingToPretendToPourWaterIntoMyGlassBeforeHavingADrink
#SheReallyCopiesNowWhichIsQuiteCute
#TheOtherDayTiagoWasRubbingMyArmAffectionatelyAsHeHeldBAndThenSheRubbedMyArm
#IWasShowingHerSomeDrawingsInHerNotepadAndThenSheCopiedHowITouchedThePaper
#SheWasTryingToPutALidOnAJarAndIWasTryingToExplainWithMyHandThatSheNeededToLayItFlatterSoSheWasTappingTheTopWithHerHandToo
#SheHasANewThingOfWhenWeWantToPickHerUpOffTheSofaOrOutOfThePushchairOrOutOfHerHighchairSheHidesHerFace
#IOftenHaveToLeaveHerInHerHighchairToFaffForABitAfterAMealAsSheIsQuiteHappyJustMessingAround
#LatelyWhenIHaveWantingToPutHerShoesOnHerSheLeansAgainstSomethingWhileSheLiftsUpAFoot
#IHaveAnAppointmentBookedForNextWeekWhichIsApparentlyForASweepButIHopeTheBabyComesBeforeThenOrIMightLeaveTheSweepUntilTheFollowingWeek

#ITookAPhotoOfMyselfNudeAt30WeeksAndSaidThatThatSeemedLikeABigMilestone

This image/post.

#NowIAm39WeeksWhichIHaveNeverBeenBeforeAndSoIThoughtIWouldRecreateTheImage

I posted the image this week, so it reminded me and I thought it was a nice one to recreate – especially as bump has grown a lot.

#ForNumericalPurposes40WeeksWouldBeBetterButIMightNotGetThatFar

Baby X could really come any day now…

#IHadMy38WeekAppointmentAndMyUrineAndBloodPressureWasFineThoughISaidIDidNotKnowWhatPositionTheBabyWasInNow

Honestly going to appointments has been something to look forward to, which is really sad, but shows how repetitive our days are at the moment.

#ILiftedUpMyDressAndTheBabyWasMakingSomeWeirdShapes

It was the same two midwives as last time and they probably think I just talk a lot of rubbish – I’m just excited to see people.

#TheStudentMidwifeSpentAGoodFewMinutesFeelingMyBumpButSaidSheReallyDidNotKnow

It must be so weird trying to figure it out. I look at Baby X moving and I have no clue what body part is poking out most/all of the time.

#SoTheOtherMidwifeCameOverAndSheSaidSheWasAlsoUnsureAsMyStomachMusclesAreApparentlySoStrongThatItIsHardToTell

Last time I had a bit of diastasis recti, so I felt a bit proud that I’ve avoided that (I think) this time. I don’t see why they’re so strong though – I guess just from the stretches, picking up B(?), and from sitting up by rolling onto my side first.

#SheGuessedBreechThenToldTheStudentToTryForAHeartbeatOnTheLowerLeftSide #ShePickedUpAStrongOneButThenTheMidwifeSaidSheShouldHaveSaidToGoForTheUpperLeftSide #ItWasNotVeryStrongThereSoBasedOnTheHeartbeatTheyThinkTheBabyIsHeadDown

I have a scan soon, so they will know for sure but I feel that the baby must be head down – unless the baby has moved by then, if the baby doesn’t come before then.

#IGoBetweenFeelingQuiteRelaxedAndStressedAboutGivingBirthAndHavingASecondChild

I just want to get it over and done with, so we can move on with our lives. I’m bored of waiting.

#SomeMomentsIFeelReallyMentallyPreparedAndThenOtherTimesIHaveToRemindMyselfThatICouldBeHavingABabyAnyDayNow

It’s weird. I had to check my hospital bags the other day to remind myself where things are.

#IKeepTryingToVisualiseHowItWillBeAndIHopeWeAllAdaptWell

B is having a bit of a throwing phase, so I’m going to have to be careful with where I lay Baby X down. I like to imagine B just looking at X intently, but I’m also worried she might try to feed her all her foods.

#CurrentlyIAmGoingToBedEarlierAndGettingUpBeforeBToStretch

Tiago has been super tired with work, so I’ve been better at getting B up in the morning – he was doing it for ages as I was so tired.

#IHaveMissedNapsTheLastCoupleOfDaysAndHaveBeenDoingALotOfNesting

I’ve just felt too energetic to nap, though I have been lying down and relaxing. I have been tidying up and organising things a lot.

#LastNightIFeltLikeMaybeIWasInTheEarlyStagesOfLabourDueToLegTinglesButMaybeIAmImaginingThings

When I was in labour with B I had leg tingles, so it could be a sign or it could just be from how I sit or something.

#BFellOverWhenWeWereAtTheParkTheOtherDayAndHasACutUnderHerNose

Her friend likes to escape from the playground and B was running around, then smack… 🙁

#IHopeItHealsQuickSoThatItIsNotTooVisibleInTheFirstPicturesOfBAndHerSibling #ThatSoundsQuiteShallowButItIsSomethingIHaveBeenThinkingAbout

I just want some nice pictures, but it will be an indication of how it will having two under two I guess. I can’t wait for them to meet… I can’t wait to meet the baby!

#WeFinallyGotBANewCupWhichIsLikeHerCousinsThatSheLikesToDrinkOutOf

It has a straw and B always steals it whenever we see her cousin.

#IHaveNeverSeenHerSoEnthusiasticForJustPlainOldWater

Hello lots of nappy changes…

#LastNightIFilledItUpFromMyGlassAndThenSheKeptWantingToPretendToPourWaterIntoMyGlassBeforeHavingADrink

Maybe it was more of a cheers thing, which I showed her before? Maybe a bit of both. It was sweet.

#SheReallyCopiesNowWhichIsQuiteCute

Cute, but a bit scary at times.

#TheOtherDayTiagoWasRubbingMyArmAffectionatelyAsHeHeldBAndThenSheRubbedMyArm

It was really sweet.

#IWasShowingHerSomeDrawingsInHerNotepadAndThenSheCopiedHowITouchedThePaper

I was showing her how she should draw with her crayons as well and she was just moving her hands about.

#SheWasTryingToPutALidOnAJarAndIWasTryingToExplainWithMyHandThatSheNeededToLayItFlatterSoSheWasTappingTheTopWithHerHandToo

Fascinating stuff, but it just showed me how much she copies and takes things literally – it’s fair enough, she’s 19 months old.

#SheHasANewThingOfWhenWeWantToPickHerUpOffTheSofaOrOutOfThePushchairOrOutOfHerHighchairSheHidesHerFace

I picked her up out of her pushchair yesterday and said ‘where’s B?’ and she laughed.

#IOftenHaveToLeaveHerInHerHighchairToFaffForABitAfterAMealAsSheIsQuiteHappyJustMessingAround

And she won’t let me take her out…

#LatelyWhenIHaveWantingToPutHerShoesOnHerSheLeansAgainstSomethingWhileSheLiftsUpAFoot

Cute. Yesterday she put her hand on the wall while she lifted up her right foot, then leaned her back against the wall as I put her left shoe on.

#IHaveAnAppointmentBookedForNextWeekWhichIsApparentlyForASweepButIHopeTheBabyComesBeforeThenOrIMightLeaveTheSweepUntilTheFollowingWeek

I’ve seen the appointment in my calendar for ages, but the midwife mentioned it was for a sweep. I was about to leave, so I didn’t say ‘do I have to have it etc?’ as I know they are optional. If the baby isn’t born just after the due date, then they might want to hang on. I have an appointment booked in with my midwife for the week after which would be another sweep, so I’d rather just wait until then, but I also do not want to be induced either really so we’ll see…


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Categories
Pregnancy Waiting II

Maybe This Will Be The Last Photo Of Me Pregnant In This Project (38 Weeks / 21st January 2022)

Self-portrait of me wearing a black dress. Only a couple of top buttons are done up, and I am pulling out the left side of my dress with my left hand to reveal my bump. My right hand is down to my side. The image cuts off by my knees.
Maybe This Will Be The Last Photo Of Me Pregnant In This Project (38 Weeks / 21st January 2022)
 
#IWasTakingPhotosInTheStyleOfMyMáscaraProjectLastWeekAndIWasMessingAroundWithMyDress
#IDidThisPoseAndILikeTheIdeaOfShowingMyBumpLikeSomeoneWithACoatFullOfWatchesSoIWantedToDoItAgainForThisProject
#ItHasOnlyBeenACoupleOfDaysSinceMyLastImageAndTextButIAlreadyFeelCalmer
#TwoNightsAgoBetweenBeingAwakeAndAsleepIWasImaginingThatIWasHavingContractions
#IFeltSurprisinglyRelaxedAsIWasLikeOkayItIsProbablyHappeningNow
#IWakeUpEveryHourOrSoEachNightNowWhichIsQuiteAnnoying
#EveryTimeIWakeUpIHaveToTurnOverAndIWonderIfMyWatersHaveBroken
#WithBMyWatersBrokeAndThenIWentToHospitalToBeCheckedAndWasNotAllowedToGoHomeAsSheWasBreech
#AsIJustLabouredThereIDidNotHaveToWorryAboutTransferringInOrAnything
#ThisTimeMyWatersMightNotBreakAndItWillProbablyBeACompletelyDifferentExperience
#ILikeToThinkThatIAmOrganisedAndILikeToFeelInControlSoIThinkThatIsWhyIDoNotLikeThisWaitingPeriodSoMuch
#YesterdayWhenIWasOutWithBIHadSomeReallyStrongCrampsButItMightHaveJustBeenFromPickingBUpABit
#MyLowerBackJustAchesALotOfTheTimeAndIDoHaveCrampsHereAndThere
#BabyXCouldArriveReallySoonOrSheCouldJustWaitUntilTheClockRunsOut
#IThinkIHaveSaidItALotButIAmReallyIntriguedToSeeHowBReactsToTheBaby
#BAndIWillStopAndChatToSixDogsAndTheirOwnersAroundHereNow
#WellIChatAndBWaitsPatientlyForMeUntilSheJustGetsUpAndWalksOff
#ItHasBeenNiceHavingMorePeopleToTalkAboutThisPregnancyWithInRealLifeAsInLiverpoolTAndIHadDailyWalksButSpokeToNoOne
#IMentionItAsOneOfTheWomenHasSaidSheCanNotWaitToSeeHowBIsWithTheBaby
#AFewWeeksAgoIStartedToDoAThingWhereWhenIGetToTheBottomOfTheStairsWhileCarryingBIInteractWithTheMirrorThere
#ThereAreFourLittleCirclesOnEachSideOfItWhereIPutMyFingerAndGoPsst
#ItWasABitRandomButItMadeHerLaughSoIAlwaysDoItNowAsILoveToMakeHerLaugh
#NowILetHerTouchTheSidesInsteadAndAfterwardsWePutOurIndexFingersTogetherAndGoPsstThoughSheIsYetToDoTheSounds
#SheLovesHerVitaminWaterWhichSoundsFancyButIsJustHerVitaminsMixedWithSomeWater
#IGiveItToHerWhenSheWakesUpInTheMorningAndAfterHerNap
#WhileSheWaitsForMeToMakeItSheWillSitOnTheFloorThoughSometimesSheWillStandUpAndHugMyLegThenSitBackDown
#YesterdayIPutOnAMaternitySlashBreastfeedingCardiganThatIBoughtWhenIWasPregnantWithHer
#IHaveNeverReallyWornItAsItWasSummerWhenSheWasBornButIWasColdAndItWasByMyHospitalBags
#ItIsQuiteBigAndICanHideBWhileIWearItWhichSheFindsFunnyAndIGetCuddlesWhichIsNice
#RestInPeaceMeatLoafWhoDiedYesterdayAndWhoseMusicIHaveReallyGottenIntoDuringThisPregnancyForSomeReason

#IWasTakingPhotosInTheStyleOfMyMáscaraProjectLastWeekAndIWasMessingAroundWithMyDress

I did the ‘usual nude’ photos, then some wearing a towel, then thought this dress would be good.

#IDidThisPoseAndILikeTheIdeaOfShowingMyBumpLikeSomeoneWithACoatFullOfWatchesSoIWantedToDoItAgainForThisProject

It’s also because I took photos of myself playing around with a black backdrop when I was pregnant with B, and this is a quicker way to get a playful effect…

#ItHasOnlyBeenACoupleOfDaysSinceMyLastImageAndTextButIAlreadyFeelCalmer

I think I am a bit more ready now. I keep thinking I should watch more hypnobirthing, but I know that I just need to remember to breathe and that’s it.

#TwoNightsAgoBetweenBeingAwakeAndAsleepIWasImaginingThatIWasHavingContractions

My bump had gone super tight, and then I think my mind went into overdrive.

#IFeltSurprisinglyRelaxedAsIWasLikeOkayItIsProbablyHappeningNow

But it obviously wasn’t… I felt relieved in ways as I do not like this waiting.

#IWakeUpEveryHourOrSoEachNightNowWhichIsQuiteAnnoying

Luckily I have been getting better at going back to sleep. The other night I was awake from 3 to 5, and that was really annoying.

#EveryTimeIWakeUpIHaveToTurnOverAndIWonderIfMyWatersHaveBroken

Turning over is uncomfortable. I usually go to the loo as well as getting up relieves my hips of pressure briefly.

#WithBMyWatersBrokeAndThenIWentToHospitalToBeCheckedAndWasNotAllowedToGoHomeAsSheWasBreech

It feels so long ago now, but it was June 2020.

#AsIJustLabouredThereIDidNotHaveToWorryAboutTransferringInOrAnything

I had a deadline (if I wasn’t in labour by 6pm I would have had to have a C-section) and I knew I had to get into the ‘zone’. I think not being moved about probably helped.

#ThisTimeMyWatersMightNotBreakAndItWillProbablyBeACompletelyDifferentExperience

I’m not entirely convinced that this baby isn’t breech, or will not be by the time I give birth though. I do think I might be at home longer though. Having B complicates things as my Mum needs to come and get her, if she isn’t here already etc.

#ILikeToThinkThatIAmOrganisedAndILikeToFeelInControlSoIThinkThatIsWhyIDoNotLikeThisWaitingPeriodSoMuch

I do not like the uncertainty. I like to know what is going to happen. I have no clue.

#YesterdayWhenIWasOutWithBIHadSomeReallyStrongCrampsButItMightHaveJustBeenFromPickingBUpABit

My Nan tells me off for picking her up when she sees me doing it, but sometimes it needs to be done.

#MyLowerBackJustAchesALotOfTheTimeAndIDoHaveCrampsHereAndThere

My back is aching a lot at the moment, and I stretched this morning.

#BabyXCouldArriveReallySoonOrSheCouldJustWaitUntilTheClockRunsOut

I really hope she comes soon. I feel more ready now. I’m bored of these pains.

#IThinkIHaveSaidItALotButIAmReallyIntriguedToSeeHowBReactsToTheBaby

She really doesn’t know how much her life is about to change…

#BAndIWillStopAndChatToSixDogsAndTheirOwnersAroundHereNow

I think it’s 6, possibly more.

#WellIChatAndBWaitsPatientlyForMeUntilSheJustGetsUpAndWalksOff

She just wants to get to the playground, but I’m always keen for a chat.

#ItHasBeenNiceHavingMorePeopleToTalkAboutThisPregnancyWithInRealLifeAsInLiverpoolTAndIHadDailyWalksButSpokeToNoOne

It’s from having B and always being out and about our local area. Some I know as they talk to other dog owners and so I have got to know them that way. It’s really nice going for a walk and sometimes having a chat with three people. B isn’t so impressed though…

#IMentionItAsOneOfTheWomenHasSaidSheCanNotWaitToSeeHowBIsWithTheBaby

I’ve said I’ll show her a video of B meeting the baby for the first time – if we remember to do it.

#AFewWeeksAgoIStartedToDoAThingWhereWhenIGetToTheBottomOfTheStairsWhileCarryingBIInteractWithTheMirrorThere

It’s usually after her afternoon nap, but sometimes in the morning as well.

#ThereAreFourLittleCirclesOnEachSideOfItWhereIPutMyFingerAndGoPsst

Like little mirrors within the big mirror.

#ItWasABitRandomButItMadeHerLaughSoIAlwaysDoItNowAsILoveToMakeHerLaugh

The clown training I did in London is really paying off.

#NowILetHerTouchTheSidesInsteadAndAfterwardsWePutOurIndexFingersTogetherAndGoPsstThoughSheIsYetToDoTheSounds

It’s just a nice little thing that we do.

#SheLovesHerVitaminWaterWhichSoundsFancyButIsJustHerVitaminsMixedWithSomeWater

I’ve mentioned it before. It was easier to give it to her in her water when she was younger, and it encourages her to drink so it’s fine. I really don’t like the taste of it, but she only has plain water or milk otherwise, so it’s probably exciting to her.

#IGiveItToHerWhenSheWakesUpInTheMorningAndAfterHerNap

Fun fact.

#WhileSheWaitsForMeToMakeItSheWillSitOnTheFloorThoughSometimesSheWillStandUpAndHugMyLegThenSitBackDown

Too cute.

#YesterdayIPutOnAMaternitySlashBreastfeedingCardiganThatIBoughtWhenIWasPregnantWithHer

I took a photo of me wearing it when I was pregnant with B, and that might have been the only time I wore it.

#IHaveNeverReallyWornItAsItWasSummerWhenSheWasBornButIWasColdAndItWasByMyHospitalBags

It’s definitely more appropriate for a winter baby, which was probably why it was on sale. It definitely warmed me up.

#ItIsQuiteBigAndICanHideBWhileIWearItWhichSheFindsFunnyAndIGetCuddlesWhichIsNice

I asked if I could have a hug and she ignored me. Then I opened up my cardigan and she ran to me. Tiago came in the room and I held it out wide to hide her from view, so she had a laugh while Tiago pretended that he couldn’t see her and looked for her.

#RestInPeaceMeatLoafWhoDiedYesterdayAndWhoseMusicIHaveReallyGottenIntoDuringThisPregnancyForSomeReason

I only knew a couple of his songs until 6ish months ago, but then suddenly really got into a lot more of his music. He’s been the soundtrack to a lot of B’s meals, and weirdly yesterday I suddenly had an urge to listen to his music after having a bit of a break. Thanks for the music Meat Loaf.

Me dancing to Meat Loaf at 32 weeks pregnant. This song was the first track that I added to my birth playlist.

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Pregnancy Waiting II

General Documenting Pregnancy Shoot VIII (38 Weeks / 19th January 2022)

Shoot which I am recreating for the 8th time this pregnancy. I am wearing a bra and leggings. I have my right hand clasping my left elbow. My bump is bigger than the previous version of this image.
General Documenting Pregnancy Shoot VIII (38 Weeks / 19th January 2022)
 
#ThisIsTheMostPregnantIHaveEverBeenInMyLife
#ThatSoundsDramaticButBWasBornByThisPoint
#ThisAlsoMayBeTheLastImageOfThisSubSeries
#IDoNotImagineThatIWillStillBePregnantInTwoWeeksTimeButItIsPossible
#IStillFindItWeirdThatICouldBeAMotherOfTwoAnyDayNow
#IFeelMoreNervousThanIThinkIWasWithB
#PerhapsBecauseIKnowWhatIAmInForThisTimeAndTheNewbornStageIsSoIntense
#AndAsBWasBornBefore38WeeksIAmJustOnHighAlertNow
#ICanNotSayThatIAmReallyLookingForwardToTheNewbornPhaseButIKnowItWillBeSoonBeOver
#AtLeastBabyXWillNotWriggleLoadsWhileIChangeHerNappyOrDressHer
#SheWillBeAsleepALotButTheFeedingIsJustSoDemandingAndIReallyHopeIFindItEasierThisTime
#IGuessThatIsWhatIAmTheMostNervousAbout
#SomeoneToldMeThatTheirFriendsDaughterHadToWaitSixDaysForABedInTheHospital
#ButIGuessThatWasForAnInductionOrSomethingAsWhenABabyIsComingTheyWillNotThenWaitForDaysAsThereIsNoBed
#ThisWeekIWentToTheCoffeeShopByMyselfAndGotAHotChocolateAndSatInTheParkAndDrankIt
#ThatDoesNotSoundLikeMuchButThatWasTheFirstTimeIHaveDoneThatSinceBWasBornAndItCouldPossiblyBeTheLastTimeForALongTime
#DueToCovidAndBeingCautiousThereAreNotManyThingsThatIFeelLikeICanDoToMarkTheShortTimeLeftBetweenBeingAMotherOfOneAndAMotherOfTwo
#ISawSoManyGirlsWhoLookedToBeASimilarAgeToBWhenIWasSatOnTheBenchAndItMadeMeMissHer
#TheOtherNightSheWasTheMostMiserableIHadEverSeenHerAndItWasAwful
#SheJustSeemsToNeverStopTeethingAndWasSoSadThatWeThoughtABathWouldCheerHerUp
#SheStartedOffHatingItAndBLovesBathsButThenTheIbuprofenWeGaveHerSeemedToKickInAndSheWasHappyAgain
#WeHaveBeenGivingHerParacetamolForAgesButHaveSwitchedToIbuprofen
#BHasAFriendWhoWeSeeAtTheParkALotAndTheyNowHighFiveEachOtherWhichIsSoAdorable
#TheyAlsoClapForEachOtherWhenTheyGetToTheBottomOfTheSlideButTheyAlsoClapThemselves
#HerSleepingHasBeenOnAndOffButThenSoHasMine
#SometimesIDoNotWantToGiveHerMedicineIfIAmNotSureIfSheNeedsItButThenSheWakesUpEarlyFromANapTeething
#ACoupleOfNightsLatelyIHaveNotBeenAbleToSleepBetweenThreeAndFive
#OrIJustWakeUpEveryHourOrSoAsICanNotSeemToGetComfortableAnymore
#FourNightsAgoIHadALegCrampForTheFirstTimeInAWhileAndItWasMassive
#IAmOverBeingPregnantButIAlsoHopeIHaveAFewMoreDaysAtLeast

(I’ve said before that I don’t like doing these shoots. I probably spent the longest on this one, and it’s still quite off. I’m a lot lower than I am in the other photos, but for my sanity I had to stop trying to get it right. I’m frustrated, but I’m also tired and 38 weeks pregnant so I’m going to let myself off – for now and then be annoyed about it for the rest of my life probably.)

#ThisIsTheMostPregnantIHaveEverBeenInMyLife #ThatSoundsDramaticButBWasBornByThisPoint

I could have wrote this as a hashtag with every picture when I was pregnant with B, but I didn’t. This just feels like major unknown territory now.

#ThisAlsoMayBeTheLastImageOfThisSubSeries #IDoNotImagineThatIWillStillBePregnantInTwoWeeksTimeButItIsPossible

Baby will come when baby is ready. I just want to know when that will be though!

#IStillFindItWeirdThatICouldBeAMotherOfTwoAnyDayNow

*Nervous laugh*

#IFeelMoreNervousThanIThinkIWasWithB

Definitely. I’m nervous for the birth too.

#PerhapsBecauseIKnowWhatIAmInForThisTimeAndTheNewbornStageIsSoIntense

Having to set alarms to wake up to feed the baby if they haven’t already woken you up etc.

#AndAsBWasBornBefore38WeeksIAmJustOnHighAlertNow

With B I thought I had more time, this time I am aware that I might not have.

#ICanNotSayThatIAmReallyLookingForwardToTheNewbornPhaseButIKnowItWillBeSoonBeOver

And I will be sad that I will never experience it again (I really do not want more than two kids).

#AtLeastBabyXWillNotWriggleLoadsWhileIChangeHerNappyOrDressHer

In the beginning anyways. I am so slow at dressing B to go out for walks as she keeps running off and I am too pregnant to be bothered to chase her etc.

#SheWillBeAsleepALotButTheFeedingIsJustSoDemandingAndIReallyHopeIFindItEasierThisTime #IGuessThatIsWhatIAmTheMostNervousAbout

I am nervous about breastfeeding. It is what it is. If the baby is bigger then maybe that might help?

#SomeoneToldMeThatTheirFriendsDaughterHadToWaitSixDaysForABedInTheHospital #ButIGuessThatWasForAnInductionOrSomethingAsWhenABabyIsComingTheyWillNotThenWaitForDaysAsThereIsNoBed

So I’m not that put off. If anything it will hopefully buy me more time if I do end up needing an induction…

#ThisWeekIWentToTheCoffeeShopByMyselfAndGotAHotChocolateAndSatInTheParkAndDrankIt

Mega stuff.

#ThatDoesNotSoundLikeMuchButThatWasTheFirstTimeIHaveDoneThatSinceBWasBornAndItCouldPossiblyBeTheLastTimeForALongTime

The weather was quite pleasant. I was going to read my book or something but I just enjoyed watching birds and things. Simple pleasures.

#DueToCovidAndBeingCautiousThereAreNotManyThingsThatIFeelLikeICanDoToMarkTheShortTimeLeftBetweenBeingAMotherOfOneAndAMotherOfTwo

So I am taking advantage of anything I can do.

#ISawSoManyGirlsWhoLookedToBeASimilarAgeToBWhenIWasSatOnTheBenchAndItMadeMeMissHer

I felt awkward smiling at them, but their grownups could probably see I was pregnant and no threat. I’m sure I had not seen any of them before when I’ve been with B…

#TheOtherNightSheWasTheMostMiserableIHadEverSeenHerAndItWasAwful

Yesterday she had her shoe balanced on her foot and brought it towards her face. It fell off and her face nearly made me cry, as she didn’t cry out but her lip was quivering and I felt awful (I’d been trying to put it on over two pairs of socks). This wasn’t why she was miserable though – I just thought about it.

#SheJustSeemsToNeverStopTeethingAndWasSoSadThatWeThoughtABathWouldCheerHerUp

She wasn’t eating much of dinner, she was moping about, and she loves baths.

#SheStartedOffHatingItAndBLovesBathsButThenTheIbuprofenWeGaveHerSeemedToKickInAndSheWasHappyAgain

Yeah, B LOVES baths.

#WeHaveBeenGivingHerParacetamolForAgesButHaveSwitchedToIbuprofen

I think the paracetamol doesn’t do much for her anymore, and I did notice a big molar cutting through the other day. She’s just dribbling constantly. Poor thing.

#BHasAFriendWhoWeSeeAtTheParkALotAndTheyNowHighFiveEachOtherWhichIsSoAdorable

I thought I might give birth there and then from all the oxytocin of seeing them high five.

#TheyAlsoClapForEachOtherWhenTheyGetToTheBottomOfTheSlideButTheyAlsoClapThemselves

Adorable.

#HerSleepingHasBeenOnAndOffButThenSoHasMine

Life is a fun game.

#SometimesIDoNotWantToGiveHerMedicineIfIAmNotSureIfSheNeedsItButThenSheWakesUpEarlyFromANapTeething

And I regret my decisions… This was two days ago. She really needed a nap as she had woken up early, and then only slept 40 minutes and wouldn’t sleep again. I didn’t have a nap and I was tired…

#ACoupleOfNightsLatelyIHaveNotBeenAbleToSleepBetweenThreeAndFive

It’s so frustrating as I know I need my sleep. I ended up reading a book. I tend to sleep the night after, but I just want to have as much energy as possible for labour.

#OrIJustWakeUpEveryHourOrSoAsICanNotSeemToGetComfortableAnymore

Turning over is painful. My hips just hurt. My back hurts right now.

#FourNightsAgoIHadALegCrampForTheFirstTimeInAWhileAndItWasMassive

I thought Tiago might think I was in labour or something, but he said afterwards that that never even crossed his mind. He forgets I’m pregnant half the time…

#IAmOverBeingPregnantButIAlsoHopeIHaveAFewMoreDaysAtLeast

I don’t want it to drag on too much longer, but I also want to have a bit more time to myself. Baby will come when baby is ready though.

There are no comparison photos from now on, as B was born by this point so I have no photos of me pregnant past 37 and a half weeks…


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Categories
Pregnancy Waiting II

Portrait Of A Mother Of A Nineteen Month Old (37 Weeks / 14th January 2022)

Self-portrait where I am sitting down in a black bra and pants. I have my hands on my hand and my elbows are touching. My bump looks very round.
Portrait Of A Mother Of A Nineteen Month Old (37 Weeks / 14th January 2022)
 
#WellTheNightBeforeMyScanBWasAwakeFromOneToFive
#IHadFallenAsleepAroundElevenThirtySoItWasALongNight
#TiagoHadStayedUpLateWorkingAndHadANapDownstairsBeforeLeavingAtFourThirty
#JustBeforeTiagoLeftIMovedBToOurBedAndSheSeemedToFallAsleepButThenWouldSuddenlyWakeUpCrying
#SoAtFiveIMovedHerBackToHerBedAndSheSleptUntilEightWhenIWokeHerUp
#LuckilyMyMumWasComingRoundSoIHadALieDownInTheMorningThenSleptForAnHourWhenBDid
#IWasStressedAsIfIHadGoneIntoLabourIWouldHaveNotHadMuchEnergy
#TiagoWasSetToGetBackInTimeForTheAppointmentButThenThereWasACrashOnTheMotorway
#LuckilyMyMumHadHungAroundSoSheDroppedMeOffAndTookBToTheSupermarketWhileIWasInThere
#IWasWearingAWhiteClothMaskAndThePeopleAtTheDoorAskedMeToPutAStandardBlueMaskOn
#ICouldNotSeeAnyoneAtReceptionSoIWentToWhereIThoughtTheAppointmentWasAndPanickedThatIHadGoneToTheWrongPlaceWhenTheySaidIDidNotHaveOneThere
#LuckilyIJustHadToGoToADifferentDepartmentAndSatAloneInARoomFullOfCouples
#TheySaidTheyWereRunningLateButIGotCalledInAboutFourMinutesAfterMyAppointmentTime
#TheSonographerWasNiceAndAfterAQuickLookSheSaidThatBabyXWasHeadDownAndNotBackToBack
#IHadFeltLikeTheyHadBeenQuiteActiveSinceMyMidwifeAppointmentSoMaybeTheyDidTurnOrMaybeTheyWereNeverBreech
#AlreadyTheBabyHasBeenVeryActiveThatIAmWorriedThatTheyMayBeBackToBackOrSomething
#ThenSheDidMeasurementsAndSaidThatTheBabyIsEstimatedToBeIThinkSheSaid7Pounds6
#BWas6Pounds4WhenSheWasBornAndTheBabyHadBeenMeasuringBigger
#ShePlottedItOnMyGrowthChartAndSaidThatYouHaveToIgnoreTheTapeMeasureEstimatesButItLooksLikeTheBabyIsGrowing
#IHaveAnotherScanScheduledForTwoWeeksTimeIfTheBabyHasNotBeenBornYetSoSheWasObviouslyNotTooConcerned
#AsIHaveBeenSoScepticalAboutWhetherOrNotIAmActuallyHavingAGirlIAskedIfSheCouldCheck
#SheSaidItLooksLikeAGirlToHerButCanNotSayFor100PercentSureIGuessAsTheyHaveToCoverTheirBacks
#IThinkAtThisPointItWouldBeQuiteObviousIfItWasABoySoIShouldStopCallingHerIt
#WaitingForMyMumOutsideItWasABitSurrealWatchingLotsOfDadsArrivingWithCarSeatsOrCouplesLeavingTheHospitalWithBabies
#IKnowIAmHavingABabySoonButIStillFindItHardToGetMyHeadAroundIt
#IAmGettingALotMoreCrampsTheseDaysAndTheBabyCouldBeHereAnyDayNowReally
#INeedToJustGetAsMuchRestAsICanToMakeSureIFeelGoodForLabour
#ButIAlsoJustWantToDoAsMuchAsICanBeforeTheBabyComesAsIKnowThereWillBeLessTimeForMeForAWhile
#BIsGettingMoreIndependentNowSoItWillBeWeirdHavingASmallHumanWhoIsSoDependentOnMeAgain
#LikeIKeepSayingIJustNeedToSurrenderMyselfToMotherhoodAndDoMyBestForMyKids

#WellTheNightBeforeMyScanBWasAwakeFromOneToFive #IHadFallenAsleepAroundElevenThirtySoItWasALongNight

I definitely got frustrated, but had started reading a parenting book while waiting to see if she had fallen asleep, so tried to remain calm.

#TiagoHadStayedUpLateWorkingAndHadANapDownstairsBeforeLeavingAtFourThirty

I had stayed up late waiting for him, though I had said he should sleep downstairs if he wanted. I turned the light off and tried to sleep, but then he came upstairs to sort his clothes out.

#JustBeforeTiagoLeftIMovedBToOurBedAndSheSeemedToFallAsleepButThenWouldSuddenlyWakeUpCrying

I’d given her paracetamol, water, changed her nappy etc. I’m still not sure what the problem was.

I drifted in and out of sleep, while giving her some mimos (Portuguese for affection) – like rubbing her arm and drawing circles in her hand. I’d stop and she’d cry.

#SoAtFiveIMovedHerBackToHerBedAndSheSleptUntilEightWhenIWokeHerUp

I had had an alarm set for 7, which I turned off and woke up at 7.40.

#LuckilyMyMumWasComingRoundSoIHadALieDownInTheMorningThenSleptForAnHourWhenBDid

Tiago told me later he texted my Mum at 4 in the morning to say I hadn’t slept much and to tell me to have a lie down in case I didn’t ask. I tried to sleep, but found it hard. B looked tired all morning and I had to wake her up from her nap.

#IWasStressedAsIfIHadGoneIntoLabourIWouldHaveNotHadMuchEnergy

I guess my body would have woken me up more, but I want to be as rested as possible for the ‘event’.

#TiagoWasSetToGetBackInTimeForTheAppointmentButThenThereWasACrashOnTheMotorway

Typical.

#LuckilyMyMumHadHungAroundSoSheDroppedMeOffAndTookBToTheSupermarketWhileIWasInThere

I was surprised that she was hanging around, but it made for sense for her to do that then go home and potentially come back. She was getting ready to leave, but I said could she hang on for another half an hour just in case as by that point she would have had to turn around by the time she got home. Luckily she did. The roads were quite icy too and as he hadn’t slept much I didn’t want him to be rushing home.

#IWasWearingAWhiteClothMaskAndThePeopleAtTheDoorAskedMeToPutAStandardBlueMaskOn

Fair enough.

#ICouldNotSeeAnyoneAtReceptionSoIWentToWhereIThoughtTheAppointmentWasAndPanickedThatIHadGoneToTheWrongPlaceWhenTheySaidIDidNotHaveOneThere

The midwife did not tell me where it was, but she had given me a phone number so I searched online and saw it was at a hospital.

#LuckilyIJustHadToGoToADifferentDepartmentAndSatAloneInARoomFullOfCouples

Phew. I read an article about The Lost Girls of Covid.

#TheySaidTheyWereRunningLateButIGotCalledInAboutFourMinutesAfterMyAppointmentTime

So not late at all really.

#TheSonographerWasNiceAndAfterAQuickLookSheSaidThatBabyXWasHeadDownAndNotBackToBack

I was a bit too annoyingly chatty I think. I don’t get out much…

#IHadFeltLikeTheyHadBeenQuiteActiveSinceMyMidwifeAppointmentSoMaybeTheyDidTurnOrMaybeTheyWereNeverBreech

The sonographer commented on how active this baby is.

#AlreadyTheBabyHasBeenVeryActiveThatIAmWorriedThatTheyMayBeBackToBackOrSomething

We’ll just have to wait and see. The sonographer said as I’ve had a breech baby before I probably won’t need to argue my case so much, and that if I’ve had a breech baby before then I can handle a back to back baby. I just need to stay calm.

#ThenSheDidMeasurementsAndSaidThatTheBabyIsEstimatedToBeIThinkSheSaid7Pounds6 #BWas6Pounds4WhenSheWasBornAndTheBabyHadBeenMeasuringBigger

B was born before 38 weeks.

#ShePlottedItOnMyGrowthChartAndSaidThatYouHaveToIgnoreTheTapeMeasureEstimatesButItLooksLikeTheBabyIsGrowing

Hurrah. I wasn’t too worried as a lot of friends have told me they had growth scans and everything looked fine.

#IHaveAnotherScanScheduledForTwoWeeksTimeIfTheBabyHasNotBeenBornYetSoSheWasObviouslyNotTooConcerned

Yeah, it’s not like she was like I think this baby should come out ASAP. Cool.

#AsIHaveBeenSoScepticalAboutWhetherOrNotIAmActuallyHavingAGirlIAskedIfSheCouldCheck

She did the usual ‘it’s not always guaranteed that we can see’ etc and I said I know, but if you can then that’d be nice.

#SheSaidItLooksLikeAGirlToHerButCanNotSayFor100PercentSureIGuessAsTheyHaveToCoverTheirBacks #IThinkAtThisPointItWouldBeQuiteObviousIfItWasABoySoIShouldStopCallingHerIt

She did say it’s a girl while pointing her mouse to and naming the labia, so yeah I doubt it is a boy.

#WaitingForMyMumOutsideItWasABitSurrealWatchingLotsOfDadsArrivingWithCarSeatsOrCouplesLeavingTheHospitalWithBabies

It could be us any day now.

#IKnowIAmHavingABabySoonButIStillFindItHardToGetMyHeadAroundIt

It’s just weird. I’ve obviously gone through all of this once before, but still I find it bizarre.

#IAmGettingALotMoreCrampsTheseDaysAndTheBabyCouldBeHereAnyDayNowReally

B’s arrival really surprised me (in terms of I hadn’t noticed any warning signs), so I just read into anything and everything now.

#INeedToJustGetAsMuchRestAsICanToMakeSureIFeelGoodForLabour

I’m going to have a lie down before I do the shoot.

#ButIAlsoJustWantToDoAsMuchAsICanBeforeTheBabyComesAsIKnowThereWillBeLessTimeForMeForAWhile

I want to take more pictures in the style of my Máscara project.

#BIsGettingMoreIndependentNowSoItWillBeWeirdHavingASmallHumanWhoIsSoDependentOnMeAgain

I was saying to Tiago that maybe I am just saying this as I am pregnant, but if I was not pregnant would I want to be trying to get pregnant now with B being more independent? I got pregnant while she was still pretty dependent. I guess I would. I just want to get the baby phase over and done with.

#LikeIKeepSayingIJustNeedToSurrenderMyselfToMotherhoodAndDoMyBestForMyKids

B going to nursery is definitely going to make a big difference, and I’m lucky that we are in the position to send her.

37 weeks pregnant with B comparison:

(This is actually the last photo that I took of myself pregnant for the project.)

Full-length self-portrait. I am slightly silhouetted against white blinds. My right arm is raised above my head and my right hand is behind my head.
Time Is Running Out (37 and a half weeks)
 
#IWasDoingMyMorningExerciseWhenICaughtMyReflectionInTheKitchenSplashBackWall
#IThoughtItWouldBeNiceToDoAMoreSilhouettedPhotoOfMyselfAndBumpAgainstTheBlinds
#SoThatIsWhatIDidThisEvening
#YesterdayEveningWeWentForAWalk
#IDidNotHaveAnyPainsOrDiscomfortAndIFeltLikeICouldWalkFasterThanNormal
#IJustDidTheWashingUpNowAndIGotSomeExtremeCrampsInTheTopOfMyLeftLeg
#AndNowTheBabyHasHiccupsWhichAlwaysMakesMeFeelUncomfortable
#TheyDoNotHurtButIJustDoNotLikeTheFeelingOfThem
#EspeciallyAsTheBabyIsHeadDownSoItJustFeelsWeird
#ItWouldNotBeSoBadIfTheyWereAtTheTopOfTheBump
#AFewDaysAgoIDecidedThatIWouldLikeToTakeSomePicturesInTheStyleOfMyMáscaraProject
#IThoughtIHadTheMakeupHereButApparentlyIDoNot
#MyMumFoundMyBagOfItAsWeHaveStillHaveSomeStuffAtFamilyHousesAndPutItInThePostToday
#SoHopefullyIGetItInTheNextCoupleOfDays
#AsTimeIsRunningOut
#MyHospitalPantsTurnedUpToday
#TheySaidTheyHadBeenDeliveredYesterdaySoIWasABitConcernedAsTheyWereNotHere
#AtTimesIKindOfForgetAboutThePandemic
#AndThenIRememberWhatIsGoingOn
#ItIsAllABitWeird
#IFeelLikeWeHaveAdaptedWellButIKnowWeArePrivileged
#ALotOfPeopleSeemToBeGoingBackToNormal
#ButIAmScared
#MeAndTiagoHaveALittleBitOfACold
#ButTheWeatherKeepsChangingAndIWasIllQuiteALotAtTheStartOfThePregnancy
#IHaveNotReallyBeenIllAtAllSinceLockdown
#SoIThinkItIsJustUsFeelingALittleRundown
#LastNightISleptThroughUntil5AMWhichHasNotHappenedInALongTime
#MaybeDoingALotOfKegelsYesterdayHelped
#AsWellAsHavingAGoodStretchingSessionAndNotSleepingMuchTheNightBefore

I would have liked to have remade this photo, but this was when we lived in Liverpool, and we now live in Birmingham.

Maybe there were warning signs – like cramps in the top of my left leg. When I was having surges with B my legs would cramp up.

Last night the baby had hiccups and I was trying to work out if they were head down or not.

My sent my makeup to make Máscara like images. They arrived the day before B was born and luckily it was my day off and I took photos. I only liked a couple of images. I did a shoot the other day and they seem a lot better.

Last night we went to bed at 9. T fell asleep straight away, whereas I probably fell asleep half an hour later. I woke up quite a lot of times, but eventually got up at 6.30 as B was awake.


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Categories
Pregnancy Waiting II

Apparently My Children Like To Be Breech At 37 Weeks (37 Weeks / 12th January 2022)

Self-portrait from my thighs to below my shoulders. I am wearing a black bra and black leggings. I am side on and pulling up the left side of the leggings with my right hand. My fist is over my bump and my bump is exposed.
Apparently My Children Like To Be Breech At 37 Weeks (37 Weeks / 12th January 2022)
 
#IDoNotKnowWhatPhotoWillAccompanyTheseHashtagsButMaybeSomethingPlayfulAsIMayNotHaveABumpForMuchLonger
#IWentToMyDelayed36WeekAppointmentAndTheFirstThingTheMidwifeSaidWasICheckedYourNotesAndSawThatYouHadABreechDeliveryWithYourFirst
#ISaidYesAndJokedAboutHowBabyXWasBackToBackAtMyLastAppointmentAndHowIHaveAwkwardChildren
#ThereWasAStudentMidwifeAgainAndTheyBothCheckedMyBloodPressureAsThereWasSomeProteinInMyUrineButTheyWereNotConcerned
#IHadToBreatheIntoACarbonMonoxideMachineAndMyResultsWereFine
#ThenTheyHadAFeelOfMyBumpAndTheMidwifeSaidThatTheBabySeemsToBeBreech
#IJustLaughedAndThenIStartedToDaydreamAboutAllThePossibleScenarios
#IThoughtTheBabyHadMovedAsItsBeenSuperActiveButIWasHopingItHadTurnedRoundFromBackToBack
#TheyBothMeasuredMyBumpAndGotACentimetreDifference
#TheBabyDoesNotSeemToHaveGrownMuchSinceMyLastAppointmentSoIWillGoForAScanWhichWillAlsoConfirmIfTheBabyIsBreech
#TheyBookedMeInForTheNextAvailableSlotWhichIsTypicallyOnTheDayThatTiagoHasToGoOutForWorkSoHopefullyHeWillBeHomeInTime
#HeWillDriveMeThereAndWatchBInTheCarAsICanNotTakeHerInWithMe
#IJustWantToHaveTheScanDoneAlreadyAndKnowWhatIsGoingOn
#IWasStartingToFeelRelaxedAboutTheBirthAgainButNowIFeelQuiteStressedOut
#IJustNeedToRelaxAndSeeWhatMyOptionsAre
#IWentThroughAllTheEmotionsOnMyWayHomeIncludingAnnoyedWhichIFeltBadFor
#IHaveBeenGaggingAfterBrushingMyTeethAgainLatelyWhichIsQuiteUnpleasant
#InBNewsIGotSomeUpdatesOnHerNurseryAppTodayWhichWereQuiteOldButSuddenlyCameThrough
#TheyTalkAboutTheThingsThatSheGetsUpToAndTheWordsSheSaysWhichAnswersMyPreviousQuestions
#ApparentlyDuringOneSessionSheWasSayingQuackQuackWhichSheHasNeverSaidToMeEvenWithAllMyEncouragement
#SheAlsoSaidStompRoarAndMunchMunchWhenPlayingWithDinosaurs
#IThenAskedHerWhatSoundADinosaurMakesAndSheSaidSomethingSimilarToRoar
#AndDuringAMusicSessionAtNurserySheSaidBaaBaaSheepWhichSurprisedMe
#IGuessAtNurserySheCopiesTheOtherKidsAndAdultsMoreAndIsMoreLikelyToSayThings
#ISingWindTheBobbinUpToHerLoadsAndSometimesSheWillDoAFewActionsWithMeAndSometimesSheDoesNone
#WeWerePlayingWithHerCowPuppetAndSheSuddenlySaidMoo
#ItIsJustFunnyAsTheOtherDayIWasSayingToAFriendThatIWishedThatBMadeAnimalNoisesAndApparentlySheDoes
#IHaveStartedToPlayHideAndSeekWithBWhereICountToFiveAndTryToFindHer
#NineOutOfTenTimesSheIsBehindTheKitchenDoorButIPretendICanNotFindHerForABit
#SheIsStillTeethingAndHasABitOfAColdButSheIsRunningAroundWithMoreEnergyTheseDays

#IDoNotKnowWhatPhotoWillAccompanyTheseHashtagsButMaybeSomethingPlayfulAsIMayNotHaveABumpForMuchLonger

I feel like I should experiment and try to do something a bit different, but I’m quite tired so we’ll have to see.

#IWentToMyDelayed36WeekAppointmentAndTheFirstThingTheMidwifeSaidWasICheckedYourNotesAndSawThatYouHadABreechDeliveryWithYourFirst

Correct. She was born less than a week from this point…

#ISaidYesAndJokedAboutHowBabyXWasBackToBackAtMyLastAppointmentAndHowIHaveAwkwardChildren

She said about sitting forward and not slouching to encourage the baby to turn round etc. I was slouching at the time.

#ThereWasAStudentMidwifeAgainAndTheyBothCheckedMyBloodPressureAsThereWasSomeProteinInMyUrineButTheyWereNotConcerned

The student midwife did it first, but the midwife just wanted to make sure it was correct as protein in your urine can be a sign of pre-eclampsia.

#IHadToBreatheIntoACarbonMonoxideMachineAndMyResultsWereFine

I couldn’t remember doing it before, but she said they always check at the start and towards the end of your pregnancy.

#ThenTheyHadAFeelOfMyBumpAndTheMidwifeSaidThatTheBabySeemsToBeBreech #IJustLaughedAndThenIStartedToDaydreamAboutAllThePossibleScenarios

My brain just stayed stuck on a breech baby for the rest of the appointment and I forgot to ask about hospital restrictions etc.

B wasn’t breech at her 36 week appointment, so I’m wondering if this appointment hadn’t been delayed would Baby X have been breech at the original appointment time? I’m thinking that they might not have been. I guess at least this time I am aware that the baby is breech at this point (though B was born at 37+5, and I believe she became breech the day before she was born).

#IThoughtTheBabyHadMovedAsItsBeenSuperActiveButIWasHopingItHadTurnedRoundFromBackToBack

She commented while she was checking the heartbeat about how active the baby is.

#TheyBothMeasuredMyBumpAndGotACentimetreDifference

I think last time the midwife and the student midwife got about a difference of about 4cm.

#TheBabyDoesNotSeemToHaveGrownMuchSinceMyLastAppointmentSoIWillGoForAScanWhichWillAlsoConfirmIfTheBabyIsBreech

She said not to be worried about the growth as it might just be down to having different midwives at every appointment, and everyone measures differently. With B I had the same midwife measuring me, except for one appointment when she thought someone else should see me in case she wasn’t able to be at B’s birth – spoiler: neither of them were at B’s birth.

#TheyBookedMeInForTheNextAvailableSlotWhichIsTypicallyOnTheDayThatTiagoHasToGoOutForWorkSoHopefullyHeWillBeHomeInTime

He rarely has to go out for work, but there we go.

#HeWillDriveMeThereAndWatchBInTheCarAsICanNotTakeHerInWithMe

If I could I would just get a taxi to the appointment if Tiago doesn’t get back in time, but that would be too easy. My Mum will have to come and take care of B if he is going to be late.

#IJustWantToHaveTheScanDoneAlreadyAndKnowWhatIsGoingOn #IWasStartingToFeelRelaxedAboutTheBirthAgainButNowIFeelQuiteStressedOut

I’ve gone from feeling stressed to relaxed and back again a lot lately. It’s too much. Now I’ve had a bit of time to process things I feel a bit more relaxed.

#IJustNeedToRelaxAndSeeWhatMyOptionsAre

I’m just worried if they turn the baby that it might turn back again, but it is what it is. I just want to try a water birth this time. I don’t feel like I can go through arguing my way out of a c-section again, but who knows how things will be on the day of the birth.

#IWentThroughAllTheEmotionsOnMyWayHomeIncludingAnnoyedWhichIFeltBadFor

It’s not the baby’s fault. I just felt irritated. I was sweating as I was leaving the appointment.

#IHaveBeenGaggingAfterBrushingMyTeethAgainLatelyWhichIsQuiteUnpleasant

I do not like it. Who does though?

#InBNewsIGotSomeUpdatesOnHerNurseryAppTodayWhichWereQuiteOldButSuddenlyCameThrough

Ooh.

#TheyTalkAboutTheThingsThatSheGetsUpToAndTheWordsSheSaysWhichAnswersMyPreviousQuestions

One of her carers said that she was saying two word sentences and I was confused. What words? etc.

#ApparentlyDuringOneSessionSheWasSayingQuackQuackWhichSheHasNeverSaidToMeEvenWithAllMyEncouragement

Quacking is probably the animal sound that I make to her the most, so it’s good that it’s paying off I guess.

#SheAlsoSaidStompRoarAndMunchMunchWhenPlayingWithDinosaurs

It might explain why she suddenly stomps along with the elephant in her ‘From Head To Toe’ book. She has a book about dinosaurs where I always roar on the first page, so again I guess it’s paid off.

#IThenAskedHerWhatSoundADinosaurMakesAndSheSaidSomethingSimilarToRoar

Maybe rar. I can’t remember now, but it sounded like a roar anyways.

#AndDuringAMusicSessionAtNurserySheSaidBaaBaaSheepWhichSurprisedMe

She had a phase of liking me singing that song, which might have been after that session which also explains why she was so keen on the song – perhaps?

#IGuessAtNurserySheCopiesTheOtherKidsAndAdultsMoreAndIsMoreLikelyToSayThings

There’s more encouragement. The notes say about her looking to her peers and wanting them to join in with her etc. An example is she went to play with some animal hand puppets then smiled to her peers to join her. She put her hand in the puppets, which also explains why she started to do that at home not long ago. Nursery is obviously doing her a lot of good!

#ISingWindTheBobbinUpToHerLoadsAndSometimesSheWillDoAFewActionsWithMeAndSometimesSheDoesNone

It’s very hit and miss. Same with the ‘From Head To Toe’ book as sometimes she will do the actions, and sometimes she won’t. I guess it depends on her mood, and she isn’t on the planet to perform for me.

#WeWerePlayingWithHerCowPuppetAndSheSuddenlySaidMoo

All the surprises!

#ItIsJustFunnyAsTheOtherDayIWasSayingToAFriendThatIWishedThatBMadeAnimalNoisesAndApparentlySheDoes

It was a day of discovery.

#IHaveStartedToPlayHideAndSeekWithBWhereICountToFiveAndTryToFindHer #NineOutOfTenTimesSheIsBehindTheKitchenDoorButIPretendICanNotFindHerForABit

Sometimes she runs around after me while I look for her, and then goes back behind the kitchen door.

#SheIsStillTeethingAndHasABitOfAColdButSheIsRunningAroundWithMoreEnergyTheseDays

It’s good. I get worried about her, but she is usually in a good mood despite everything.

37 weeks comparison with B:

Self-portrait showing me leaning forward with my hands on my hips and my bump drooping down. White boxes censor my nipples.
Tiago Says This Shows The Animal Side Of Carrying A Baby (37 weeks)
 
#HadAMidwifeAppointmentYesterday
#MyUsualOneWasOnAnnualLeaveButAlsoTimedItToMakeSureISawSomeoneDifferent
#SheWasReallyNiceAndJustWentThroughAllMyNotesToDoubleCheckThatEverythingWasCorrect
#SheCalledForMyBloodResultsAndSaidSheDidNotKnowWhatIHaveBeenEatingButMyHemoglobinLevelIsGreat
#WhichIsGoodAsIAmVegetarianButIHaveBeenTakingIronForYears
#AndBeingPregnantEveryoneIsAlwaysAskingYouWhatYouAreEatingAndIfYouAreEatingWellEtc
#IHaveProbablyBeenABitHealthierBecauseOfThePandemic
#NotJustBeingAbleToGoOutAndGetWhatIWantAndOurFavouriteTakeawaysAreOnlyJustReopening
#ChocolateMilkHasBeenMyMainTreat
#SheSaidEverythingElseLooksGoodAndThatFrom37WeeksYouCanHaveAHomeBirth
#ThoughIfIHadTheBabyNowWeWouldProbablyHaveToGoToHospitalForACheckOver
#ICanAlsoStartUsingMyMedicalAidThatWillHopefullyHelpReduceTheRiskOfTearingAndAnEpisiotomy
#AndAlsoStartTryingToCollectColostrumIfMyBoobsSoWishToDoIt
#ThoseTwoThingsCouldPotentiallyTriggerEarlyLabour
#SoThoughIFeelRelaxedAndKindOfExcitedAboutBirthNowBecauseItIsSafeForMeToGiveBirthAtHomeNow
#IDoNotWantToHaveToGoToHospitalAsTheRulesForVisitationAreVeryStrictBecauseOfCovid
#IfIHaveToThenIHaveToAndIKnowWeWillWeWellLookedAfter
#ThereIsNoPointGettingStressedOutAboutThings
#IFeelLikePeopleDoNotKnowHowToTalkToPregnantPeople
#IncludingMyselfBeforeIWasPregnant
#PeopleAskingMeHowIAmFeelingAboutBirthWhichIsFineButThenAskingIfIAmWorried
#WhyShouldIBeWorried
#WhatIsThePointOfWorryingWhenItIsAPerfectlyNormalThingToHappenToMyBody
#PeopleTellingMeAboutALongLabourSomeoneTheyKnowHadAndHavingToHaveEmergencyCaesareans
#ApparentlyEmergencyOnesAreActuallyQuiteRareAndAreCalledUnplanned
#AndIfYouAreInLabourFor48HoursItIsNotConstantItJustComesAndGoes
#AtLeastThatIsWhatIHaveHeardButWhatDoIKnowAsIAmYetToExperienceIt
#IThinkTheMorePositiveYouAreAboutItThenTheBetterItWillGo
#AsAdrenalineStopsLabourSoIJustWantToFocusOnProducingAllTheOxytocin
#IAmDefinitelyGladThatIHaveDoneSomeReadingAndOnlineCourses

I think the day before I had still been 36 weeks.

Chocolate oat milk has been a big treat of mine this pregnancy too. I haven’t been as healthy this time with food this time I think, since I live with my Nan who has a massive sweet tooth and I have been indulging in crisps a bit lately.

I was not planning on using my medical aid this time as I was worried that that is what made B turn round, but now I might give it a go as I have nothing to lose. I also need to look at my colostrum kit, but I don’t know if I can really produce any yet.

Spoiler alert – I had to go to hospital with B.

I was obviously in a good place mentally in regards to giving birth. I need to get there again, so I need to binge on as much hypnobirthing stuff as I can…

Self-portrait showing that I can only do the top part of my coat up.
My Coat Is Uncomfortably Tight These Days (37 weeks)
 
#JustRealisedThatThePrevious3ImagesInTheSeriesAreQuiteNude
#IHadAlreadyPlannedForThisShootToBeMeInMyCoat
#ItWasNotADecisionOfOhIBetterCoverUpInTheNextPicture
#ThoughIAmNotSureWhyIFeelTheNeedToStateThis
#AnywaysYesterdayWeWereOnAWalk
#ItWasABitWindySoIWoreMyCoat
#ICouldJustAboutDoItUpButItFeltTooTightSoIHadToUndoIt
#ButItWasSoWindyThatINeededToDoItUpABit
#LuckilyICouldStillDoTheTopTwoPoppersUp
#IProbablyLookedABitFunnyWithMyBumpHangingOutTheBottomOfMyCoat
#ThoughNotManyPeopleWereAboutAnyways
#AndIDidNotReallyCare
#TodayWeHaveBeenOrganisingTheBedroomMore
#IThoughtTheCotWouldJustGoWhereWeWantedIt
#ButNoThatWouldBeTooEasy
#SoWeHadToRearrangeThingsOtherwiseItWouldBeAFaffToGetInAndOutOfTheRoom
#IDecidedToSetTheCotUp
#ItFeelsABitPrematureAndLikePerhapsIAmJinxingThings
#ButItWillBeNiceToLoseTheShockOfSeeingACotEverytimeIWalkInTheRoom
#ThoughIGuessWalkingInAndSeeingABabyWillBeMoreOfAShock
#WeAlsoCutDownTheBoxesThatOurPillowsCameInToMakeUnderBedStorage
#IWasLookingAtBuyingSomeUnderBedStorageTheOtherWeek
#ButTheDimensionsWereNeverRight
#ItTookMeHalfAnHourToCutOneDownToSize
#ThenTiagoCameHomeFromTheSupermarketAndDidTheOtherOneInAMinuteWithAKnife
#OhWellIWasWatchingSomeFreeBabyClassWhilstIDidTheFirstOneAndItHelpedMeConcentrate
#TiagoIsPracticingPuttingTheCarSeatInTheCarAtTheMoment
#ThoughIDoNotKnowWhenWeWillUseItExceptIfWeHaveToGoToHospitalForSomeReason
#ICanNotRememberTheLastTimeIHadANapDuringTheDay
#IAlwaysPlanToButMyToDoListSeemsNeverEnding

I can still do up the inner zip of this coat, so though this baby may be bigger than B was, my bump is obviously not bigger in some ways. Not sure.

I feel like I need to nest, but B has so much stuff that it is hard to. We can not set up the cot yet as it is at my parent’s house for in case they have to have B. I think I will keep B in her cot, and use their one for the new baby.

I try to have a nap every day when B does as otherwise I regret it. I often do not feel sleepy, but manage to sleep for a bit.

Self-portrait with my husband, Tiago, where we recreated an image for the second time (so there are 3 similar images). Tiago is at the same level as my bump and is slightly staring past it.
Bump Is Definitely Droopier (37 weeks)
 
#IDecidedYesterdayThatWeShouldRemakeThisPicture
#IWasNotSureIfIShouldLeaveItABitLonger
#ButObviouslyIDoNotKnowWhenIMayGiveBirth
#IThoughtMaybeThereWouldNotBeThatMuchChangeSince33Weeks
#ButBumpIsDefinitelyDroopier
#ShameThatWeDidNotDoItAround27AndAHalfWeeksToo
#ItCouldHaveBeenAPictureThatWeRemadeOnceAMonthIfWeHadThoughtAboutIt
#TiagoLooksALittleDifferentButNotMuch
#HeHasTrimmedHisBeardBetweenTheLastRemakeAndThisOne
#IStillNeedToTryToGiveHimAHaircutThoughIAmNervousTo
#HeHadHisBirthdayThisWeek
#ToCelebrateWeOrderedIndianTakeawayThatLastedFor3MealsEach
#ThereWasASmallChanceThatHeCouldHaveSharedHisBirthdayWithBaby
#ButIAmGladThatTheBabyHasNotArrivedYet
#IJustAskedHimHowHeFeelsAboutItPotentiallyBeingHisLastBirthdayWithoutBeingAFather
#HeSaysHeDoesNotCareMuchAboutHisBirthday
#HeLooksForwardToHavingAnotherHumanAroundAndBeingAFather
#WatchingThemGrowAndBeingResponsibleForTheirEducation
#IThinkHeIsExcitedToRelaxWithTheBabyOnHisChest
#LastNightIWasAwakeBetween3And6
#TiagoStirredAtAround6SoIToldHimICouldNotSleep
#SoHeSaidToPutMyHeadOnHisChest
#IFellAsleepPrettyQuickly
#BeforeIWasPregnantIRarelyFellAsleepLikeThat
#IHadToBeSuperSuperTired
#PeopleTalkALotAboutTheBenefitsOfTheBabyBeingOnYourChest
#ButApparentlyItWorksWellForMeToo
#AsThereHaveBeenAFewTimesLatelyThatIHaveFallenAsleepLikeThat
#MaybeItIsSomeEvolutionaryThingAndFeelingSafe
#IWokeUpWhenMyEarStartedToHurtThough

This picture is a remake of #1 (last image) and #2 (also last image).

My bump has definitely dropped, and the midwife commented on it (she saw me 2 or 3 appointments ago?)

This time around I tried to remake images more often.

I gave Tiago a haircut last week in case I didn’t have the opportunity to do it again for a while.

I think he is also looking forward to relaxing with a baby on his chest again. Those were sweet moments…


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Categories
Pregnancy Waiting II

I Have Not Taken A Nude Full Length This Pregnancy, So Now Feels Like The Time To (36 Weeks / 9th January 2022)

Full length nude showing my bump. White boxes censor the image.
I Have Not Taken A Nude Full Length This Pregnancy, So Now Feels Like The Time To (36 Weeks / 9th January 2022)
 
#LookingBackAtWhenIWasPregnantWithBITookAFullLengthNudeAt36WeeksSoItWouldBeNiceToHaveAComparisonPictureForMyself
#IFeelLikeIfIDoNotDoItTodayThenIMightNotHaveTheChanceTo
#MyMumAndADogWalkerSaidYesterdayThatMyBumpLookedLikeItHadDroppedMoreSinceTheLastTimeTheySawMeWhichHadOnlyBeenACoupleOfDays
#IThinkWithBIReallyDidNotThinkThatSheWouldComeBeforeHerDueDateThatIDidNotNoticeAnySignsThatLabourWasImminent
#ThisTimeIAmOnHighAlertThatTheBabyCouldComeAnyDayNowAndThinkThatAnyTwingeOrPainCouldMeanSomething
#ISuddenlyHaveABitMoreEnergyWhichIsNiceButItCouldBeASignThatLabourIsClose
#TheInsideOfMyTopRightLegHasBeenHurtingALotLatelyWhichCouldBeDueToRelaxinAndOrOverStretching
#YesterdayILookedToSeeWhatTheLatestCovidRulesAreAtTheHospitalThatIAmDueToGiveBirthIn
#YourBirthPartnerHasToLeaveOnceYouGetMovedFromTheDeliverySuiteToThePostNatalWardAndTheyAreNotAllowedToVisitDuringYourStay
#IHaveJustCheckedTheWebsiteAgainAndItIsVeryMisleadingAsToWhatTheRulesAre
#ItLooksLikeABirthPartnerCanBeWithYouFromTheTimeYouAreAdmittedButIMightBeMissingSomething
#IUnderstandWhyTheRulesMayBeStrictAgainAsServicesAreStretchedAndALotOfStaffAreIll
#ButItIsFrustratingThatThingsMightBeExactlyBackToHowTheyWereWhenIGaveBirthToBInJune2020
#IMightNotBeInForVeryLongThisTimeButIAlsoHaveToMentallyPrepareMyselfInCaseItIsARepeatOfLastTime
#ICavedAndOrderedSomeSleepsuitsForTheBabyLikeTheOnesWeHadForBAsTheyWereSoConvenient
#ILoveHavingAZipThatGoesBothWaysAndBuiltInMittensAndFeetThatYouCanFoldAndUnfoldOver
#TheyArrivedYesterdayAndMyHospitalBagsArePrettyMuchPackedNow
#MostOfTheStuffLeftToPackAreThingsThatIAmUsingLikeClothesAndChargersEtc
#TiagoBoughtSomeSnacksAndDrinksToPackYesterdaySoThatIsGood
#WeHaveStartedToWatchSomeHypnobirthingVideosAndIFeelABitMoreRelaxedAgain
#IWasStartingToFeelABitStressedAndWeirdlyDisconnectedAboutTheFactThatIMayBeGivingBirthSoon
#BHasANewObsessionWithHerBellyButtonWhichIsQuiteCute
#SheWillStartAnotherSessionOfNurseryInACoupleOfWeeksSoIAmFeelingRelievedAboutThat
#WeCanOnlyJustifySendingHerAsWeLiveWithMyNanAndSaveSomeMoney
#ItWillBeABigHelpThoughWhenTheBabyComesAndIKnowThatBIsGettingEnoughStimulation
#IHadToPickHerUpTheOtherDayAsTiagoWentOutToWorkForOnceAndHerCarerWasSayingAboutHowMuchSheLovesMilk
#IWasLikeYeahItIsABigObsessionOfHersButSheHasStartedToNotDrinkItAllInOneGoNowAndTakeSomeBitesOfFoodInBetweenSipsWhichSeemsGood
#IWishBCouldTellUsAboutHerTimeAtNurseryAndWhatSheGetsUpToButIGuessWeWillHaveToWaitAWhile
#HerCarerSaidThatBIsSayingTwoWordSentencesButIAmNotSureIfSheMeansActualWordsOrJustBabble
#BWillQuiteHappilyChatForAWhileWithALotOfEmotionAndLaughterAndHandGesturesButIHaveNoClueWhatSheIsSaying

(I’m feeling awkward about posting this and it’s censored.)

#LookingBackAtWhenIWasPregnantWithBITookAFullLengthNudeAt36WeeksSoItWouldBeNiceToHaveAComparisonPictureForMyself

I saw the image when I was comparing pregnancy images in my last post, and thought I should do a similar shoot.

#IFeelLikeIfIDoNotDoItTodayThenIMightNotHaveTheChanceTo

I know this baby is different to B, but B came really soon in comparison.

#MyMumAndADogWalkerSaidYesterdayThatMyBumpLookedLikeItHadDroppedMoreSinceTheLastTimeTheySawMeWhichHadOnlyBeenACoupleOfDays

I really don’t notice it, but I feel like I can breathe a bit better when I lie in bed, so (I believe) that’s usually a sign that it has dropped.

#IThinkWithBIReallyDidNotThinkThatSheWouldComeBeforeHerDueDateThatIDidNotNoticeAnySignsThatLabourWasImminent

Well, the only thing I can think of is that she was super active the day before she was born (that she turned round), but I was oblivious to any other signs that may have occurred.

#ThisTimeIAmOnHighAlertThatTheBabyCouldComeAnyDayNowAndThinkThatAnyTwingeOrPainCouldMeanSomething

Back pain – ooh does that mean I’m close? A cramp – oh? I know that these things can mean it is a few weeks away, which it could be.

#ISuddenlyHaveABitMoreEnergyWhichIsNiceButItCouldBeASignThatLabourIsClose

All the signs. Any signs. I’ll read into anything now.

#TheInsideOfMyTopRightLegHasBeenHurtingALotLatelyWhichCouldBeDueToRelaxinAndOrOverStretching

Another sign? Actually, it didn’t hurt yesterday for the first day in a while.

#YesterdayILookedToSeeWhatTheLatestCovidRulesAreAtTheHospitalThatIAmDueToGiveBirthIn

I’ve been avoiding looking as I didn’t see the point in looking too early in case things changed.

#YourBirthPartnerHasToLeaveOnceYouGetMovedFromTheDeliverySuiteToThePostNatalWardAndTheyAreNotAllowedToVisitDuringYourStay

Which is what the rules were when I had B – but it’s a different hospital as I was in Liverpool then.

#IHaveJustCheckedTheWebsiteAgainAndItIsVeryMisleadingAsToWhatTheRulesAre

A page about maternity says about being allowed to visit, but a webpage I found on my phone mentions that visiting is no longer allowed. They need to sync their pages.

#ItLooksLikeABirthPartnerCanBeWithYouFromTheTimeYouAreAdmittedButIMightBeMissingSomething

It might be on a page that I did not find.

#IUnderstandWhyTheRulesMayBeStrictAgainAsServicesAreStretchedAndALotOfStaffAreIll

I get it, I do.

#ButItIsFrustratingThatThingsMightBeExactlyBackToHowTheyWereWhenIGaveBirthToBInJune2020

I knew that when we were trying to get pregnant that I might have another Covid baby, but I did not think that cases would be so bad again and that there would be such hospital restrictions. Fun times.

#IMightNotBeInForVeryLongThisTimeButIAlsoHaveToMentallyPrepareMyselfInCaseItIsARepeatOfLastTime

I guess it depends on how breastfeeding goes, how desperately they need my bed, what kind of birth I have, what time of the day I give birth etc.

#ICavedAndOrderedSomeSleepsuitsForTheBabyLikeTheOnesWeHadForBAsTheyWereSoConvenient #ILoveHavingAZipThatGoesBothWaysAndBuiltInMittensAndFeetThatYouCanFoldAndUnfoldOver

We haven’t been able to find her 0-3 month clothes, but her sleepsuits were so worn anyways that it’s probably nicer for the baby to have new ones. I got them in a sale, and I dressed B’s in hers all day every day so we’ll get the use out of them.

#TheyArrivedYesterdayAndMyHospitalBagsArePrettyMuchPackedNow

Hurrah. One bag for baby, one bag for me.

#MostOfTheStuffLeftToPackAreThingsThatIAmUsingLikeClothesAndChargersEtc

It was a similar situation when I was pregnant with B. Everything packed that can be packed, then a list of things to grab when the time comes.

#TiagoBoughtSomeSnacksAndDrinksToPackYesterdaySoThatIsGood

Snack bars, sports drinks, snack mix, crisps etc. Last time I didn’t want to eat during labour, but the food came in handy for my long hospital stay.

#WeHaveStartedToWatchSomeHypnobirthingVideosAndIFeelABitMoreRelaxedAgain

I was getting worried that B would never read the book, so it seems like a good idea.

#IWasStartingToFeelABitStressedAndWeirdlyDisconnectedAboutTheFactThatIMayBeGivingBirthSoon

I’ve done it before, but the fact it could be so different this time is stressing me out a bit. I just need to relax.

#BHasANewObsessionWithHerBellyButtonWhichIsQuiteCute

Yesterday she unzipped her sleepsuit (she generally wears her sleepsuits all day unless she has nursery as it’s so easy to layer clothes over them if we go out – I ordered her a couple of 12-18 months suits as she is still in 6-12 months and the 18-24 months that I bought look massive) and was looking at it.

#SheWillStartAnotherSessionOfNurseryInACoupleOfWeeksSoIAmFeelingRelievedAboutThat

I was hoping that she would start next week, but they were quite slow about arranging it so I feel less bad about buying the sleepsuits as the money saved on a session next week pays for them.

#WeCanOnlyJustifySendingHerAsWeLiveWithMyNanAndSaveSomeMoney

If we moved out now I’d be at home with two kids all week, so it makes sense to stay here until our big move. Respect to the people who stay at home with their kids all week, but it seems too much for me. Sending B to nursery has been such a big relief in my third trimester.

#ItWillBeABigHelpThoughWhenTheBabyComesAndIKnowThatBIsGettingEnoughStimulation

I know that every week day I will have some help now, which I am very grateful for and realise I am extremely privileged to have (T works all week, and my Nan can do some things but I can’t just leave her alone with B for 5 hours).

#IHadToPickHerUpTheOtherDayAsTiagoWentOutToWorkForOnceAndHerCarerWasSayingAboutHowMuchSheLovesMilk

He hasn’t had to leave the house for work for a while, and he also has to one day this week which I am a bit nervous about.

#IWasLikeYeahItIsABigObsessionOfHersButSheHasStartedToNotDrinkItAllInOneGoNowAndTakeSomeBitesOfFoodInBetweenSipsWhichSeemsGood

B loves milk. It’s a fact. I only give her a small amount at each meal as otherwise I feel like she would not eat much.

#IWishBCouldTellUsAboutHerTimeAtNurseryAndWhatSheGetsUpToButIGuessWeWillHaveToWaitAWhile

I’ve said this before probably, but it’s weird sending your daughter off and not hearing from her what happens etc.

#HerCarerSaidThatBIsSayingTwoWordSentencesButIAmNotSureIfSheMeansActualWordsOrJustBabble

I think she means babbling. B is really trying to talk.

#BWillQuiteHappilyChatForAWhileWithALotOfEmotionAndLaughterAndHandGesturesButIHaveNoClueWhatSheIsSaying

I can’t wait for her to start saying actual words and for us to have conversations. It sounds like she has a nice voice.

36 weeks pregnant with B comparison:

Self-portrait sat on the sofa. My bump looks very round and it is a closeup, which my elbows resting over my boobs.
The Baby Just Seems So Protected And Safe In My Belly (36 and a half weeks)
 
#IStillHaveNotBeenSleepingGreat
#WeOrderedSomeNewPillowsWhichArrivedYesterday
#ThoughtWeMightAsWellWithNoPlansToGoAnywhereThisSummer
#AndApparentSleepDeprivationAroundTheCorner
#ThePillowDoesFeelGreatButItDoesNotFixMyProblemOfHavingToWakeUpToTurnOver
#NotSureIfTheLackOfSleepIsDownToMyBodyTryingToPrepareMeForFutureLackOfSleep
#ThoughTalkingToOtherPregnantWomenIAmNotTheOnlyOne
#OurFavouriteFalafelPlaceHasReopenedSoWeGotTakeawayForLunch
#ThatWillProbablyBeTheHighlightOfTheWeekSoItSeemedWorthMentioning
#OtherwiseIGuessWeAreJustApproachingTheWaitingGameNow
#ItIsBabysDueMonthThoughItCouldComeNextMonth
#ABabyFromTheNCTGroupIsDueTodayAndAnotherIsDueTomorrow
#TheyAreTheFirstOnesThatAreDue
#ItWillBeInterestingToSeeWhenAll8BabiesAreBorn
#EarlyOnDateOrLate
#IHopeMineComesAfterTheDueDate
#JustToGiveMeMoreTimeToGetMyHeadAroundItAllAndWindDownABitMore
#ParticularlyAsIStillHaveWorkOnUntilTheWeekBeforeMyDueDate
#ThoughIKnowBabyWillComeWhenBabyWantsTo
#IThinkWeAreReadyEnoughThough
#WatchingThisPostNatalCourseIsReallyUsefulAsIStillFeelLikeIHaveSoMuchLearn
#AndIKnowIWillKeepLearningEveryDayOnceTheBabyArrivesAnyways
#TheBabyJustSeemsSoProtectedAndSafeInMyBelly
#ICanFeelItsHiccupsRightNow
#ItGetsEverythingItWantsOnTapRightNow
#TheWholeFourthTrimesterThingMakesSense
#TheBabyNotNeedingTotalQuietAndWantingToBeCloseEtc
#LikeIHaveSaid100TimesBeforeAtLeastThePandemicAllowsUsMoreTimeToNotRushBackToNormalLife
#ThoughOurNormalLifeTheseDaysIsJustBeingAtHomeForAtLeast23HoursADayReally
#IProbablyWillJustTakeTheBabyOutForWalksAroundLiverpoolInTheBeginning

I’ve been sleeping better this time, but it’s probably because I am tired from looking after B and the mattress at my Nan’s is comfier. I feel like I don’t have to turn over so much for pain reasons.

I miss our favourite falafel place. There is a falafel place that we get takeaway from here, but I’m not sure if it is as good. I don’t get salt headaches from this place though, which is good.

‘#IHopeMineComesAfterTheDueDate’

I was glad in the end that she came early as I did not have to wait and it was so unexpected when my waters broke. This time I’m on high alert, so it’s not as fun, though I guess I think this one won’t be so early. We’ll see.

I feel a bit more unprepared in ways – like I haven’t read/watched as much, but it’s not that long since B was a newborn and I know a bit more about looking after a baby this time (you’d hope).

I definitely took B on a lot of walks. I’m looking forward to taking baby X on walks while B is at nursery, and listening to podcasts and things. I feel like I haven’t had earphones in in a long time – though in Liverpool no one spoke to me, whereas I know a lot of local people now. It’ll be nice to show off the baby a bit.


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Categories
Pregnancy Waiting II

General Documenting Pregnancy Shoot VII (36 Weeks / 5th January 2022)

Shoot which I am recreating for the 7th time this pregnancy. I am wearing a bra and leggings. I have my right hand clasping my left elbow. My bump is bigger than the previous version of this image.
General Documenting Pregnancy Shoot VII (36 Weeks / 5th January 2022)
 
#WellIThoughtThe4WeeksWentFastBetweenShootsLastTimeButThese4WeeksHaveGoneScarilyFast
#IPlanToDropTheTimeBetweenTheseShootsTo2WeeksNowThoughBWasBornBefore38WeeksSoWeWillHaveToSee
#MyBumpIsDroppingLowerOutOfTheFrameWhichIsNotGreatVisuallyButIFeelLikeItIsTooLateToChangeHowIShootThemNowForContinuityPurposes
#TheyAreNotAsSpotOnAsIWouldLikeThemToBeAsTheEarlyOnesAreMoreSideOnAndWithTheLastOneMyBumpIsMorePushedOutButOhWell
#MyMumSawMeYesterdayAndSaidMyBumpHasDroppedMore
#WeStillCanNotFindBs0To3MonthClothesWhichIsReallyAnnoying
#WeHaveACoupleOfSleepsuitsThatWeBoughtRecentlyThoughAndIFoundSomeVestsThatWeDidNotGetRoundToDonating
#SoWeWillManageButIWantToFindAllBsOldSleepsuitsAsTheyHaveTwoWayZipsWhichIsSuperUseful
#IHaveWashedEverythingThatIHaveFoundWhichIncludesACoupleOfHatsAndSomeCardigans
#YesterdayIMadeAListForTheHospitalAndStartedToPackAsIDidNotRealiseThatIAlreadyHadItPackedBy35WeeksWithB
#IWasPrettyOrganisedConsideringIThoughtIWouldBeA42WeekerAndWasPlanningForAHomebirth
#WeGotASecondHandBottleWarmerAndASteriliserWhichTiagoPickedUpYesterdaySoICanTickThemOffTheBabyList
#WeBorrowedThemFromFriendsLastTimeAndDidNotThinkWeWouldUseThemButWeUsedThemLoadsSoItIsGoodToBePrepared
#WhenISayToBWhereIsTheBabySheJustPokesAtMyBellyButtonAndSometimesSmacksTheBumpWithBothOfHerHands
#ISayGentleButSheDoesNotReallyGetItWhichIsFairEnoughAsSheIsStillQuiteYoung
#SometimesIForgetHowYoungSheIs
#IAmGettingQuiteExcitedAtTheThoughtOfMeetingBabyX
#ICanNotWaitToSeeHowBReactsWhenTheyMeetForTheFirstTime
#IAmStillScepticalAboutItBeingAGirlSoWeShallHaveToWaitAndSee
#INeedToWriteABirthPreferencesDocument
#IHopeICanHaveAWaterBirthThisTimeButIKnowINeedToKeepMyExpectationsLow
#BIsGrowingUpMoreEachDay
#SheWasBeingQuietTheOtherDayAndIFoundHerJustLookingAtOneOfMyNansCatalogues
#SheDoesItQuiteALotWhichMakesMeLaugh
#WeBoughtHerATunnelAndYesterdaySheWasSatInItReadingOneOfThem
#InTheBathSheKeptPuttingHerHandsUpToThePumpOfHerBodyWashAndThenRubbingHerHands
#SheHasNotBeenEatingMuchOfHerOwnBreakfastLatelyButThenSheHappilyTakesTheScrambledEggThatMyNanLeavesOnHerPlateForHer
#SheWillJustPickAtItAllMorningAndStealMyCrusts
#YesterdayIGaveMyNanHerBreakfastAndBWentToGetATrayForHerPlate
#SheHasANewThingWhereSheWillAcceptNothingLessThanABigPieceOfSomethingLikeHerGettingOffendedAtMeOfferingHerABitOfBananaRatherThanAWholeOne
 

#WellIThoughtThe4WeeksWentFastBetweenShootsLastTimeButThese4WeeksHaveGoneScarilyFast #IPlanToDropTheTimeBetweenTheseShootsTo2WeeksNowThoughBWasBornBefore38WeeksSoWeWillHaveToSee

I actually thought that I had done the last shoot 2 weeks ago and that now I was going to change to doing them every 2 weeks, that’s how quick time has gone…

So, this could be the last one, but it could not.

#MyBumpIsDroppingLowerOutOfTheFrameWhichIsNotGreatVisuallyButIFeelLikeItIsTooLateToChangeHowIShootThemNowForContinuityPurposes #TheyAreNotAsSpotOnAsIWouldLikeThemToBeAsTheEarlyOnesAreMoreSideOnAndWithTheLastOneMyBumpIsMorePushedOutButOhWell

In all honesty I am not going to miss doing these shoots. I find them quite annoying and frustrating. I think especially now as I can see the errors I made earlier on. I should have just stood up, but I did not take the original one with the plan of repeating it every month. If I had thought about it more then I would have done it differently…

#MyMumSawMeYesterdayAndSaidMyBumpHasDroppedMore

I can not really tell, but I guess the baby is getting bigger and getting ready so it makes sense.

#WeStillCanNotFindBs0To3MonthClothesWhichIsReallyAnnoying

I’m so over it.

#WeHaveACoupleOfSleepsuitsThatWeBoughtRecentlyThoughAndIFoundSomeVestsThatWeDidNotGetRoundToDonating #SoWeWillManageButIWantToFindAllBsOldSleepsuitsAsTheyHaveTwoWayZipsWhichIsSuperUseful

I’d buy more of the same sleepsuits but they’re not cheap, and the baby might not be in them for long. Especially if they’re bigger than B was. Also, as we are not planning to have more kids it does not make sense. We need a few more though, so hopefully we can borrow some or find some alright ones second hand.

#IHaveWashedEverythingThatIHaveFoundWhichIncludesACoupleOfHatsAndSomeCardigans

So, all is not lost. Hurrah. They’re clothes that I did not pack away when we moved though as I guess I hoped B would wear them a bit more, and/or were a bit big for B as a newborn.

#YesterdayIMadeAListForTheHospitalAndStartedToPackAsIDidNotRealiseThatIAlreadyHadItPackedBy35WeeksWithB

Thanks to this blog and comparisons for making me realise.

#IWasPrettyOrganisedConsideringIThoughtIWouldBeA42WeekerAndWasPlanningForAHomebirth

This time I am preparing for a pre-38 week birth, but am obviously a bit more chilled about it. I guess having a toddler to run around after makes it more tiring. I had more time last time…

#WeGotASecondHandBottleWarmerAndASteriliserWhichTiagoPickedUpYesterdaySoICanTickThemOffTheBabyList

We don’t have too much to get now. Just a coat extender for babywearing, snacks and drinks for birth/hospital, sleepsuits, and a baby book (I’m still undecided about which one to get).

#WeBorrowedThemFromFriendsLastTimeAndDidNotThinkWeWouldUseThemButWeUsedThemLoadsSoItIsGoodToBePrepared

I did not expect to pump so much last time.

#WhenISayToBWhereIsTheBabySheJustPokesAtMyBellyButtonAndSometimesSmacksTheBumpWithBothOfHerHands #ISayGentleButSheDoesNotReallyGetItWhichIsFairEnoughAsSheIsStillQuiteYoung

Yesterday, I made a video of B poking my belly button then just smacking it. I kept saying gentle, but she did not seem to get the message… In the end I had to stop filming and stop her.

#SometimesIForgetHowYoungSheIs

Sometimes she seems older. Sometimes she looks so tall, sometimes she doesn’t. It’s weird.

#IAmGettingQuiteExcitedAtTheThoughtOfMeetingBabyX

I lay in bed yesterday just feeling quite emotional. I also just couldn’t wait for B to wake up from her nap so I could cuddle her, but I was relieved that she had the best nap that she had had in ages.

#ICanNotWaitToSeeHowBReactsWhenTheyMeetForTheFirstTime

I hope it goes well. B does seem to like babies, but she might be like ‘okay, when is this baby going back to its home?’

#IAmStillScepticalAboutItBeingAGirlSoWeShallHaveToWaitAndSee

I want to know if it’s actually a girl or not.

#INeedToWriteABirthPreferencesDocument

I’m just going to keep it simple.

#IHopeICanHaveAWaterBirthThisTimeButIKnowINeedToKeepMyExpectationsLow

It’s best not to get too attached to ideas/visions about how the birth will be, as with B it all went out the window.

#BIsGrowingUpMoreEachDay

She seems to change so much day to day.

#SheWasBeingQuietTheOtherDayAndIFoundHerJustLookingAtOneOfMyNansCatalogues

My Nan gets a lot of catalogues in the post and B loves to go through her post. She also loves to go through my Nan’s bags after she’s been shopping.

#SheDoesItQuiteALotWhichMakesMeLaugh

She is funny.

#WeBoughtHerATunnelAndYesterdaySheWasSatInItReadingOneOfThem

Cute. She liked going through the tunnels at a class we no longer go to, so it seemed like a nice idea to get her one.

#InTheBathSheKeptPuttingHerHandsUpToThePumpOfHerBodyWashAndThenRubbingHerHands

It was like her copying us using sanitiser. She’s so observant.

#SheHasNotBeenEatingMuchOfHerOwnBreakfastLatelyButThenSheHappilyTakesTheScrambledEggThatMyNanLeavesOnHerPlateForHer

I ask my Nan if she wants scrambled egg on toast. She always says ‘yes please, and B can have some’

#SheWillJustPickAtItAllMorningAndStealMyCrusts

If I gave her scrambled egg for breakfast, guaranteed she would not eat it. But then again she does just revisit the plate all morning.

#YesterdayIGaveMyNanHerBreakfastAndBWentToGetATrayForHerPlate

I thought my Nan didn’t need one, but B obviously thought otherwise. It was a cute moment. She’s very observant.

#SheHasANewThingWhereSheWillAcceptNothingLessThanABigPieceOfSomethingLikeHerGettingOffendedAtMeOfferingHerABitOfBananaRatherThanAWholeOne

Cue B walking around with a whole banana. I didn’t want her to eat the whole thing, so T took it off her, tore a bit off of it and gave that to her. B then just lay on the floor and was not happy. Fun times.

36 weeks pregnant with B comparison:

When I was thinking about how I am excited to meet Baby X yesterday, I was thinking about when I met B for the first time. Birth is a bizarre thing.

I am hoping this time that things will not be such a shock to the system – I know how to change nappies at least.

I had forgot about the one week in bed, one week on the sofa thing. I didn’t get out for a walk with B until 2 weeks-ish, so it makes sense. I guess it depends on how you feel. I felt sore…

I would say that I am quite active now too.

I am mainly nervous that there will not be enough staff that are Covid-free to have an okay birth experience. With B they gave me time (after I kept saying no to a c-section) to birth naturally, but will they have less patience this time (it’s also a different hospital).

We didn’t make it to Portugal until B was 14 months-ish old. B is still yet to meet one Aunt, Uncle and cousin.

I guess last time it was the summer, so the nights were shorter. I’m also more tired this time as I have B to look after so sleep hasn’t been so much of a problem. I do wear a mask when I have a nap though.

Naked self-portrait. I am stood straight on to the camera with my hands on my hips. I have put white boxes over my nipples and pubic area.
For All I Know This Could Be My Last Week Without The Responsibility Of A Small Human (36 weeks)
 
#RealisedThatIDidNotHaveAnyFullLengthShotsOfMePregnant
#TheyEitherStopBeforeMyKneesOrBeforeMyBoobs
#IWantedToGetAnotherNudeShotBeforeMyBumpDropsSoICanCompareBeforeAndAfter
#ItMightNotDropUntilJustBeforeBirthThoughOrIMightNotEvenNoticeIt
#SomeOfMyFriendsSaidTheirBumpDroppedWeeksAgo
#WeShallJustHaveToWaitAndSee
#ThisMorningWeWereThinkingAboutHowDifferentTheWorldIsGoingToBeForBaby
#HowMuchTechnologyAndThingsHaveChangedInOur30YearPlusLives
#ItIsKindOfScaryButKindOfExciting
#IAmInMyEarly30sButWithItNowBeingThe2020sItMeansIHaveBeenAliveDuring5DecadesWhichIsAWeirdThought
#IGuessItWillNotBeSoWeirdWhenIAmInMyLate30sButICanNotEvenImagineHowLifeWillBeThen
#IKeepReadingAbout1Year2Year5Year10YearPlansAndIAmNoGoodAtThatKindOfStuff
#IJustWantToKeepMakingMyWorkAndHopefullyActuallyStartMakingMoreOfALivingFromIt
#IAmHopingThatHavingABabyMightMakeMeMoreProactiveOrMoreConfident
#IStillFindItWeirdCallingMyselfAnArtist
#IGetImposterSyndromeAllTheTime
#IShouldNotPutTooManyExpectationsOnWhatHavingABabyMightDoForMe
#InTermsOfMakingMeMoreConfidentMoreEfficientMoreOrganisedEtc
#ILikeToThinkIAmAlreadyOrganisedButIFaffALot
#YesterdayIActuallyAllowedMyselfToRelaxABit
#ForAllIKnowThisCouldBeMyLastWeekWithoutTheResponsibilityOfASmallHuman
#WhichIsSuchAWeirdThought
#ICanSeeAndFeelItMovingAboutNow
#IAmTryingToImagineItsFace
#IFindItDifficultTo
#IThinkTiagoWantsItToLookMoreLikeMeAndPullTheFunnyFacesThatIPullInMyChildhoodPicturesAndStillPullNow
#WhereasIWantItToLookMoreLikeHim
#ButReallyIHopeItIsAFunMixOfTheTwoOfUsWithHisBetterPersonalityQualities
#OnlyTimeWillTellButIDoNotWantTimeToPassTooQuickly
#ThisPregnancyHasMadeMeRealiseHowQuicklyLifeGoesByEvenDuringTheSlowishPacedTimeOfAPandemic

I was really not expecting it to be, but actually it was! B came at 37+5, so it was my last full week without a lot of responsibility.

I’m still no good at plans. This year, I just want to keep making work, and move. Then once we move I need to figure out a lot of things. I’m excited though.

I think having a child has given me more confidence in some ways. I like to think I am more efficient and organised too. I don’t have much time to faff. I love to do lists more than ever.

I’ve said it before – I want this baby to look a bit more like me, but I want B and baby X to look like siblings. We’ll have to wait and see – and B’s face just keeps changing.


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